Tonight! It's been a while but it's SASUKE 2011秋 or SASUKE 27 for those of you who like it that way!
While the title of tonight's show is SASUKE 2011 Fall, the show was taped way back in July of this year. The 18th to be exact. At the time Japan was still reeling (and still is in many ways) from the effects of the Tohoku disaster. On the 17th of that month Nadeshiko Japan, Japan's national women's soccer team, shocked the United States to take the Women's World Cup. It was widely seen as a big pick-me up for Japan. Will SASUKE do the same?
It won't but hey, that's what they were trying to say in some of the promotional material (but they didn't make the direct Nadeshiko comparison).
Yeah, I was blathering. Anyway, a few more commercials to go...
2600! Have tried! Takeda! Bunpei! Kane! Yamada!
Only three have ever conquered "Mount Midoriyama!" Akiyama! Nagano! Urushihara! Tonight! Will we see a fourth?
Let us watch some wipe outs (no, not that show) first to get us warmed up.
153 countries! That's a lot of places to be broadcasted! The Americans are invading! And so are the Malaysians! Well, one Malaysian. But they got to meet the (world's?) strongest fisherman Makoto Nagano.
Someone got 24! Kazuma Asa's back! My hands are sore! I didn't warm-up!
SASUKE!
1st Stage!
1. Hitoshi Kanno! Whoa! What the heck? Here he goes! Step Slider. Rolling Escargot up next..he failed this before. And.....He does it! Giant Swing next. Yes! Good form! Jumping Spider...YES! Could we be going 1 for 1? Half-Pipe Attack. Here he goes. WHOA! Had to go back. He's got it! Soritatsu Kabe on one try! Commercial before he completes the next obstacle!
CMs. Promotion for stupid Kimura Takuya drama. I hear it was expensive to make.
Back.
He clears the wall. Spin Bridge..He falls! But he's up again! Yes! Tarzan Rope! He's going to do it! Redemption! Redemption! Time is going red but he's already up! 6.5 left. Yes! Take that! What a way to start!
7. Kyohei Hara is next! He can lift 12 futons! That's strong. Skip ahead to the Rolling Escargot. Yes! Hara Kyoheeiiii! Giant Swing STRAIGHT INTO THE WATER! Ohhh...that was a new transition (a giant SASUKE just did a wipe across the screen).
Masaaki Akata! He should be 24..oh wait.
24. Masaaki Akata! He has glasses! Step Slider. Rolling Escargot coming up. He has kids cheering for him. NO! Shachoooo! The kids in red are his child slave laborers. Work dammit!
13. Umm..Katsuhide Torisawa! He always blows up at the start line! And this time??? He blows the bottle opening schtick. Here he goes. Gets the Step Slider! Crowd is dead because he blew the trick! Rolling Escargot...he takes a header right at the end! Yikes. He cut himself opening the bottle. And he went face first into the platform.
Daichi Hashimoto! He's the son of legendary wrestler Shinya Hashimoto. But he goes pretty much straight into the water!
Daisuke Morikami! He's with the Muscle Musical but he's a pro MTB rider! He just timed out last time! He's number 6 by the way. Here he goes. Through the Slider really fast. Rolling Escargot...Clear! Giant Swing.YES! Jumping Spider...YES! We will have 50 clears tonight! Half-Pipe Attack...YES! Soritatsu Kabe. First try! Oh my. Spin Bridge. YES! He's going to do it! Tarzan Rope. Unless he inadvertently hangs himself with the rope. 25.6. That's two!
Next up...Is a famous person!
Kenjiro Ishimaru! Can he finally do it? Step Slider. He had the most mellow theme song ever. Rolling Escargo...he lost his footing! He's done! Damn.
Yukio Kikuchi! Is a lawyer! Step Slider. Whoops. Not quite. And now he's through. Rolling Escargot. Skin head! And that's it!
QTaro Suzuki is up next! Some schtick first. Burping (and shotgunning a cola) is the key to SASUKE success. Here he goes! And his feet hit the water! So he goes in anyway!
Satomi Kadoi! She's from the Muscle Musical. She completed KUNOICHI! Step Slider. Rolling Escargot...this might be tough. YES! Giant Swing...YES! Jumping Spider. YES! But she's going slowly. She needs to pick it up to clear. Half-Pipe Attack. She looks tired. And that's it!
Lots of people but no results! Will get to this later. That's like five people.
Yoshio Kojima fails the Step Slider as we get back to business.
22. Taizou Sugimura will be up after these messages.
CMs.
Back.
22. Taizou Sugimura! And he wipes out on the first obstacle! Impeach! Impeach!
Oh wow, hey, it's the Ebay winner!
He's from Universit of Central Florida! He paid...three thousand dollars for the right to fail the Rolling Escargot! Thanks for the cash!
Up next is Hidenori Sasaki. He is from Iwate prefecture, one of the areas hit by the tsunami. Step Slider! His SASUKE set was wiped out by the tsunami. And he tries to hold on to the Rolling Escargot but he can't! Great story though.
65. Yosuke Kaneko! He's from the Muscle Musical too. Las Vegas version. Step Slider. He gets a face graphic because he's an M9 boy. Through the Giant Swing! Wow! Jumping Spider...no problem! Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe..First try! Can he be three? Spin Bridge..YES! Tarzan Rope. Lots of time. YES! 34.8!
Kinnkun is up next! He's been away from SASUKE for a long time! He gets to practice on Hidenori Nagasawa's set!
30. Kinnikun Nakayama! He's all buff. Step Slider is no problem! But the Rolling Escargot is! Whoops. Thanks for coming.
Kenji Takahashi! Fails the Spin Bridge! Nagasawa fails the Half-Pipe Attack! As does another female Muscle Musical member!
Our first non-paid for foreigner! Let's look at the coverage SASUKE Malaysia got because 50 percent of the people under 30 are fat! Nagano was there too!
52. Mohammed Farid Isham! He's your SASUKE Malaysia winner! The Cat! Step Slider! Rolling Escargot...Whoops! That's it for Malaysia. Darn. Still. Getting there is the first step!
Aw yeah...Kazuma Asa! He's angry! He's a former SASUKE Trial guy. I love them. Ooohh..Old school Trials. SASUKE ai (love)! He's got passion! Wait...he failed but got picked anyway! Yes!
55. Kazum Asa! Step Slider. Rolling Escargot...YES! Giant Swing. Good job! Jumping Spider. YES! SASUKE Tamashi! Half-Pipe Attack. Whoa! But he's through! Soritatsu Kabe killed him before. First try. NO! Second. NO! One more. YES! C'mon! Kouji Hashimoto sighting! Can he do it? After a word from a sponsor we will find out!
Back. He's gotten past the wall. Spin Bridge! YES! YES! GO MAN GO! Tarzan Rope. Lots of time. YES! 12.1 left! He collapses! He's about to cry. Oh wait..he is crying.
David Rodriguez! He's our first of ten Amercan Ninja Warriors! He's got a mask! I He's all flippy-floppy. Crowd and announcer are a bit subdued. Was doing something else during this part so I'll fill it in later. Sorry David! He's through! 17.3!
Nobody asked you or your opinion Yamada.
An elementary school teacher and someone else I should know fail the 1st Stage!
Paul Kasemir is through1 As is Ryan Stratis! But you knew that! Almost all of them are through! Lots of fast forwarding here...
That's OK because it means we get a Ryo Matachi fluff piece!
62. Ryo Matachi! Step Slider! He's a house painter! He has paint! Rolling Escargot. YES! Giant Swing! Revenge of the UNCLI! Spider Jump. Half-Pipe Attack. YES! He's mom is excited! Soritatsu Kabe. NO! One more try. Taking his time. And gets it! Spin Bridge. Through! Tarzan Rope. Time is going to go red soon...Can he do it? Celebrating before the end zone gets him a 5.92! Flag on the play!
Masami Harashima! Gets set. And he GETS PAST THE STEP SLIDER. Rolling Escargot. WHOA! He loses it but can't do it! Tako-tencho with a zannen!
Hey, it's the world's most famous tako-tencho. Mr. Octopus. Hahaha. Visual joke! Taking his time. Even he knows he won't pass. Slowly on the Step Slider. But he can't get the rope! It's OK! The world loves you anyway.
Okada and the car powered Rolling Escargot! Not eco-friendly if you ask me. But you didn't.
68. Yuichi Okada! His wife is there! Step Slider. Clear! Rolling Escargot...Slowly. Slowly. YES! Training pays off! Giant Swing! Jumping Spider. No problem! Half-Pipe Attack next. The platform throws everyone's timing off. Soritatsu Kabe...first try is a no go. One more time. NO! One more time. A cut brings us to the time going red. His wife is in tears. He'll have to ride the Rolling Escargot home by himself.
Whatever Nagano says, listen to. Whatever Yamada says, do the opposite.
50. Daisuke Naito! He's a former boxing champion. If you do anything on a world stage you will always have something to do in the world of Japanese entertainment. But we got some commercials for you first.
Back.
50. Daisuke Naito! Annnnnnnnnnd...why practice the Escargot when you're just going to fail like that?! Nagano thinks the same. Shingo laughs at someone, as always.
Kouji Hashimoto! Gets a fast forward! As does Naoya Tajima! and Setoda from the Muscle Musical. AND LOTS OF OTHER PEOPLE! RYOMA KATOU M9 forgives you! YOU CAN BE ON TV NOW!
16 out of 80! Yikes!
The chickens...are they revolting? They are! it's Shingo Yamamoto. Or High-Octane Man. Since every SASUKE nickname is either Mr. Something or Something Man.
81. Shingo Yamamoto! Step Slider is OK! Rolling Escargot goes slowly. Takeda sighting! Giant Swing. Hat is still on. Jumping Spider. His shoes are all neon and stuff. Half-Pipe Attack. YES! Soritatsu Kabe. YES! Nagano is HAPPY! Spin Bridge. Lots of time. NO! HE SLIPS AT THE END! Nagano is sad! Why did you rush!
Mottainai. Mata ka yo.
82. Cross country skier Yuichi Onda! He has medals. Step Slider. YES! Let's cut to Yamada for some reason. NO! He lost his grip on the Rolling Escargot!
Oh boy. Katsumi Yamada up next. Hey, his Soritatsu Kabe is high! Like he'll get that far
Alright Yamada, we'll call a truce. If you pass this time, I won't mock you as much anymore. OK?
91. Katsumi Yamada. Here he goes. Step Slider. Yeah. Rolling Escargot. And he's through. Giant Swing. Clear. Jumping Spider. He's up. And is going..but we need a shochu commercial first. I agree TBS. We all need alcohol to get through Yamada.
CMs.
Back. Jumping Spider. Ho-hum. Nagano wastes energy cheering him on. Getting set for the Half-Pipe Attack. Misses the platform..But he's got it. OH. MY. GOD. Soritatsu Kabe. No. Again. He's already getting that body language. Again. Time is running out. Nope. Time is going red. Hey, at least he tried until the end this time.
92. Wakky! His goal is to get past the 1st Stage! His dream is to complete SASUKE! Kue the Kull the Konquerer music! Step Slider. Rolling Escargot next. He played soccer in university. He's through! Giant Swing. Yes! Hmmm..Jumping Spider. YES! A bit slow though. Needs to pick it up. Half-Pipe Attack. Getting set. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe.YES! Hey, he's taller than I expected. Nagano is excited! Yamada! YOU'RE OUT! Wakky is in!
CMs.
Back. He's up the wall! Spin Bridge. YES! HE'S GOING TO DO IT! Tarzan Rope! He needs to hurry a bit though. Time going red soon. Dude, hurry up. YES! 4.28! He's happy!
More athletes fail! Hey! The football guy! Ice Hockey! Naoki Iketani and Ishikawa and Okuyama all cleared sometime during the day! There are four left! Taiwan, Nippon, America!
97. There are eagles. And eagle shooting heroes! It's Lee En Chi. NO! OH MY GOSH! HE HIT THE WATER!
He's too tall!
24 have passed! It's all Americans and Japanese this time around!
98. David Campbell! He's the American Ace! Man, the Rolling Escargot is butt-tastic. Sorry I thought about that line during your run David. Jeez. The TBS announcer is a bit...subdued. Commercials.
Yikes. David just blasts through the course. 44.32! I bet Takeda regrets not competing.
99. Yuuji Urushihara! He's done it before! But he finds interesting ways to fail every time! Step Slider. Rolling Escargot. Move Sport getting lots of promo time tonight. Giant Swing is no problem! Jumping Spider is no problem. He's failed the next before. But he's got the Half-Pipe Attack this time! Soritatsu Kabe on the first try! Not rushing. Spin Bridge! Tarzan Rope coming up. Lots of time left. 15.08! Yes! Effortless.
There is only one left! The man with the most success at SASUKE. The 2nd man to finish the course and de facto spokesman for the show. Makoto Nagano. He's been around the world! Unfortunately, his father passed away recently. Nagano would like to do it for him. He gets the Takeda back slap! Commercials first though.
Back.
There is a battle. It's the last one!
100. Makoto Nagano! Thank You For Supporting Japan! Step Slider. Rolling Escargot. Yes! Jumping Spider. Yes! More Move Sports! Half-Pipe Attack...YES! Soritatsu Kabe. Yes as the crowd chants his name! Gets set. Asami can't look. YES! Tarzan Rope. Lots of time left. He can catch his breath. 9.55! He's through! The wife and everyone else is happy!
2nd Stage!
9 Americans! David's goal is not to be the fastest! 18 Japanese have gotten through! That's a lot of people. I'm sure they will edit the heck out of the next stage.
27 for 27! The fix is in!
Lets get all fiery and stuff.
Hitoshi Kanno is up first. Uh oh. Looks like he hurt himself on his fall. And that's it. Hrm. He already had tape on his arm. Yuuji says stop. And he does.
Daisuke Morikami is up next! Double Salmon Ladder. He misses a rung. But is back on track! At the switch. YES! He's the dark horse! Unstable Bridge. He's already used half the time limit. Announcer talks about his potential. At the 2nd board. He's through! Needs to hurry though! Balance Tank. Needs to go fas...oh wait...Metal Spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin! That's the classic though. Falling on the Metal Spin due to rushing.
29. Naoya Tajima! They edited him before! He turns and twists stuff! Here he goes. NO! Whoops. Hrm. Ryoma Kato was already in his street clothes.
David Rodrigues is next! He has a mask! And is jumpy! Here he goes! Whoops! There he goes too! The announcer is quite concerned about the mask!
20. Kouji Hashimoto! He's waiting! He's made the final before. He failed the Metal Spin last time. Will he be the first Japanese competitor to make it through? Here he goes! To the Double Salmon Ladder. At the switch. YES! Unstable Bridge up next. At the gap. YES! 2nd board. Through! Balance Tank. Got it! Metal Spin...dad is worried. Here he goes. YES! Needs to hurry! Time going red soon. YES! That's one!
45. Yousuke Kaneko of the Muscle Musical is up next! He was the fastest of the Japanese competitors! Double Salmon Ladder. At the switch. NO! He missed it! That was quite dangerous. Rookies, I tells ya.
Let's look at all the writing on Kazuma Asa's back!
55. Kazuma Asa! Aw yeah! Slider Drop is clear! Double Salmon Ladder. Misses a rung. Back on track. At the switch. YES! Two more rungs. NO! He missed the top right rung! Yuuji and Ryo are concerned!
Let us fast forward through the people having trouble with the Double Salmon Ladder! We've got painting to do!
Ryo Matachi! Can he break the curse of the Double Salmon Ladder? At the switch. YES! Needs a few tries to get to the top. He's through! Unstable Bridge. YES! Balance Tank. Whoa. YES! WHOA. Metal Spin. Slowly. Yes! Wall. One! Two! Three!...Time going red. He's going under! YES! YES! 3.4 left! He couldn't get the wall up but he got enough to get under it! That's two!
James McGrath! He's tall! Double Salmon Ladder already! At the switch! Yes! Unstable Bridge. He's blazing through! Relatively. Balance Tank. Metal Spin. YES! Here he goes! Walls. One. Twooo...Three! 18.84! He's through!
By the way, the corner graphic says tonight there will be the 4th Kanzenseiha.
Brent Steffensen is next! Double Salmon Ladder. Yes! Unstable Bridge...clear! Balance Tank...He almost lost it! But he got it back in time! ONLY TO FAIL THE METAL SPIN!
Let's see more people fail the Metal Spin! Ryoma!
92. Wakky is next! He passed the 1st Stage for the first time tonight. Can he do the same here? He's the most famous person left! Double Salm...wait. Commercials.
Back. Wakky getting ready to do the Double Salmon Ladder. Dunno if he can do this. NO! He had it uneven and couldn't get back on track!
87. Terukazu Ishikawa! He failed the Metal Spin at 24! Can he do it this time? Double Salmon Ladder. At the switch. Yes! One more rung to the Unstable Bridge. Struggling a bit. 2nd Board! YES! Balance Tank. Yes! Metal Spin coming up. This is the big one. YES! Time going red soon though. Can he do it? One! Two! Three! YES!..WHOA! 0.06! He cuts it close!
Ryan Stratis finally gets some SASUKE love! BECAUSE HE'S THROUGH DAMMIT! As are some other Americans!
Naoki Iketani fails the Double Salmon Ladder. Six have cleared! 23 have gone! There are four left!
Yoshiyuki Okuyama finally gets some fluff! He's busy during the day so he has to train at night!
96. Yoshiyuki Okuyama! Shingo claps him on! As do Okuyama's kids. Double Salmon Ladder. At the switch. Yes! One more rung. On the Unstable Bridge now. Going to the 2nd board. OK! False landing! He's through! Balance Tank! Metal Spin before the commercial.
Back!
Metal Spin. YES! Lots of time! One! Two! Three! 9.65! That's another one! That's why he has his own facebook page!
Three left! The two finishers and the American Ace.
About an hour and twenty minutes left in the show by the way.
98. David Campbell! Double Salmon Ladder is no problem for this artist musician David Campbell! 2nd Board...false landing. Through! Balance Tank! Ikimashita! Metal Spin. YES! Lots of time left! One! Two! Three! Artist Musician David Campbell!
There are two left! They are nervous!
99. Yuuji Urushihara! He is the leader of the New Generation! Double Salmon Ladder. Up quickly. At the switch. Yes! Unstable Bridge coming up. 2nd Board. YES! Balance Tank. Slowly but surely. Yes! Metal Spin. Lots of time! Yes! One! Two! Struggled there. Three! Time going red but he's through! 7.17!
Nagano rocking the Ninjapan shirt. Yuuji wants to go to the 3rd Stage with Nagano!
100. Nagano has had problems with the Metal Spin before. Let's go over that. Here we go! Slider Drop. Double Salmon Ladder. Up quickly. At the switch. Through! Unstable Bridge. 2nd Board. False landing. Yes! Balance Tank. Slowly. Not a lot of time though. Metal Spin. Needs to hurry. But we don't because we have a commercial!
Lots of SASUKE stuff trending on Japanese twitter but as the sumo special showed us, trending on twitter doesn't always translate into ratings.
Back.
Taking his time. YES! The crowd cheers him on! Time going red! He knows how to do this part! 1.6 left!
3rd Stage.
Ten have reached this far. Can anyone go further?
TBS LOVES DAVID CAMPBELL.
Cue some dramatic music! It is the 3rd Stage people.
Kouji Hashimoto is up first. He disappointed his parents before! Can he make them proud this time? Arm Bike is easy for him. Flying Bar. No time limit here. And through! Ultimate Cliff Hanger next. Getting set. First slant. Second up to the first flat. First gap. Second Gap. YES! Third gap! HAHAHAHA! He did it! And he made it look easy! Commercial.
Back. He did it this time too! Whoops. First ring. Second ring. Gets to the Chain See-Saw. That looks...complicated. NO! Holy crap that looks hard to do. You need to make sure you have balance and distribute your weight. This might favor a lighter competitor.
James McGrath. Arm Bike. Flying Bar. 1st. 2nd. Clear! Ultimate Cliff Hanger next. Slants. First gap. Got it! Second gap..Swinging...NO! Stratis close-up of pain!
Ryan Stratis gets some digest non-love. At the first gap of th...no! He fails the Ultimate Cliff Hanger!
It's Ryo Matachi up next. They clearly did not film enough footage of him since we keep seeing the same stuff over and over. Arm bike is no problem. Flying Bar next. One. Two! Safe! Ultimate Cliff Hanger next. Will he be the second? Through the slants quickly. First gap. Yes! Second. YES! One more to go. YES! He's the second to do it! Jumping Ring next. Second ring. On the ladder of safety. Chain See-Saw next. Here's where Kouji failed. He got it! On to the next ladder of safety. Rope Climb. Here we go. Can he do it? Bar Glider is the last one. Oh boy...At the end...swinging...swinging....swinging...YES! YES! YES! YES!
Let's look at it again. Wow...he just got the Chain See-Saw.
Well, that won't put pressure on everyone else.
Terukazu Ishikawa has reached the 3rd Stage before back in SASUKE 14. Can he join Ryo? Arm Bike. Flying Bar. Whoa! He overswung! Flip into the water! Well, I guess no one thought you could do that.
Paul Kasemir next! He got one hand on the second gap of the Ultimate Cliff Hanger!
Okuyama up next! That looks kind of unsafe training above all that gym equipment. He's been so consistent as of late.
Yoshiyuki Okuyama! Arm Bike. Is no problem! Flying Bar next. NO! He misses the first one! He is suitably shocked. As is the crowd.
Cue some SUPER dramatic music for the last three!
Artist Musician David Campbell! He's the last American left! Arm Bike. Flying Bar. Some SASUKE Spray (tm ME). Ultimate Cliff Hanger. Slants. First Gap. YES! Cross shita! Second gap! America Number One! Almost there..gets a foot on the platform...NO!
And then there were two...
Yuuji Urushihara is up next! Arm Bike. No problem. Flying Bar next. First. Second. Safe! Ultimate Cliff Hanger coming up. Can he be the third to do it? Can he join Ryo? Slants. First a commercial though.
Back.
Slants. Flat. First gap. Second gap coming up. YES! Third. YES! Clear! More pressure on Nagano! Jumping Ring next. Here he goes. To the ladder of safety. Chain See-Saw. YES! He got it! Kanepeki Bal...abunai! The announcer just gave me a heart attack. Rope Climb next. Needs to get to the Green Bar of Safety. Yes! Can he do it? Taking a breather. Here he goes. Up to the second level. Swinging...swinging...swinging...YES! YES! YES! YES! UNCLI RULES THE WORLD.
Sorry. Took off to get overexcited on twitter.
There is one left! He is Makoto Nagano! He is, for many, THE MAN. Can he show these youngsters he's still got what it takes?
Makoto Nagano! Is last! Arm Bike is no problem. Lee has a sasukefan shirt on. 10/10! Flying Bar next. Yes! Ultimate Cliff Hanger up next. He's never attempted this before. Yamamoto and Yamada shout from the sidelines. Slants. Commercials first though.
Back.
Slants. Flat. First gap. Second gap. NO! I think of all...that second gap is the one you need to practice. No interview for him though. It's right into the Final Stage.
Ryo Matachi! Yuuji Urushihara! Will one of them do it?
Let's review the past Final Stages. It's a 20 meter Rope Climb for the Final Stage!
Ryo Matachi is up first. 40 seconds. Here he goes! Commercials.
Back!
5 meters at ten seconds. Looks like he's losing it though. Halfway up. Can he do it. Ten seconds. I don't think he can make it. Needs a burst. No. Almost. NO!! NO!! NO!! NO!!
Was it pressure? Did he not have enough left in the tank? He needed five more seconds I think.
Ryo and Yuuji confer as we get a bit of Yuuji TV love. Oh goodness, the rubber boots thing again.
Whatever.
Here we go.
What a great shot going down the tower.
Damn.
Yuuji Urushihara! Here he goes! But we have eight minutes so a commercial first.
Back.
Here we go (again). Faster pace than Ryo so far. He's halfway up! Can he do it? Time isn't going red yet. YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! 6.7 left! Everyone cheers him on! My goodness.
And there it is...the first person to ever do it twice.
Here's hoping that Yuuji starts to get attention and respect he deserves.
UNCLI bitches.
Showing posts with label Ninja Warrior. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ninja Warrior. Show all posts
Monday, October 03, 2011
Sunday, January 02, 2011
SASUKE 2011! The Sort of Live Blog! SASUKE 26 (第26回大会)
SASUKE 2011! At the last SASUKE Yuuji Urushihara was all like "Dude, I got a new car!" And the All-Stars were all like "Dude, we totally got schooled by those kids."
What will...wait, what? There was a SASUKE between last January and now? I don't remember...oh. That's weird, I don't remember that one at all.
Let's start again...
SASUKE 2011! At the last SASUKE..stuff..umm..happened. No one got past the Ultimate Cliff Hanger. The All-Stars were frustrated once again as the New Stars proved that they belong in any discussion about who will be the next person to complete SASUKE, regardless of what people on the street think.
Oh, and Mr. SASUKE is back. He should have come back under a mask. That would have been mildly interesting...
While we're waiting for these commercials to finish let's go over the competitors list again...
Here we go!
0.12% Only 3 out of 2500 have ever finished SASUKE! Tonight, we will add one more? It's NAOTO 2011...I mean SASUKE 2011!
Oh gee, don't spoil too much during the opening TBS. Well, we already know what happens to the guy from Savanna.
Hey, we only have two and a half hours. Don't waste time with this stuff now! That's what Navi was for!
Let's look at all the different types of people who will take on SASUKE! I enjoy that TBS announcer is a category with stuntman and MMA fighter.
Fists raised! Black power!
1. Nishida Takayuki! He is a running coach! Here he goes! Steps. NO!
7. Torisawa Katsuhide blows all his energy smashing drinks! FACE FIRST INTO THE WATER after the steps!
8. Shinya Kishimoto bends a frying pan for your pleasure! Here he goes! Step Slider...YES! Hazard Swing..Itta! And our third new obstacle...the Rolling Escargot...NO! Head first into the water! THE FRYING PAN IS AVENGED!
Yoshio Kojima is up next! Do your schtick! Steps. YES! HE DOESN'T TRY THE BRIDGE! And he face plants!
17. Charisma host has his charismatic friends with him! Into the water after the steps!
18. Eiko Kanno! Uh huh. Steps, I bet. He kills time. He defies my expectations! Slowly on the Haazard Swing. And he actually gets it! On the Rolling Escargot...GOOD NIGHT! Not that we expected him to get very far.
We go back to number 9. Carlos from the Muscle Musical! He's a pro juggler. Steps! Yes! Hazard Swing. I bet he's there to say that SASUKE has representatives from whatever country he is from. He got the swing. And he loses his grip on the Rolling Escargot! Shingo is scared!
TBS announcer Yuuko Aoki 青木裕子! She doesn't reach the ropes!
TBS announcer Mai Demizu 出水麻衣 doesn't either!
Tsukiji sushi shop manager Hioki 築地すし鮮の日沖店長 goes out on the steps too!
Sorry, fell behind a bit!
23. Hideo Tokoro! NO! Didn't even get to the rope! The crowd gets down on him!
Minoru Kuramochi 倉持稔 is up next! And he's wearing a octopus costume! Here he goes! This time we won't see his butt! Steps. Slowly..YES! WAIT...He's still swinging...YES! NO! YES! He got it! Small Victories! Better than Hideo Tokoro! Slowly on the Hazard Swing...swinging...YES! He got the rope! Can he do it! Wait, he's blown up! Oh crud..He's going to DIE here. Rolling Escargot..Slowly. NO! Sorry, tweeting and watching at the same time...
Metal artist Daigo fails the steps! And so do some other people I know! I'll get them later.
14. Karate guy fails the Rolling Escargot.
Several people fail the Rolling Escargot including Rie Komiya and Kenjirou Ishimaru!
15. He's a cheerleader! Step Slider. Yes! Hazard Swing. Slowly. YES! Rolling Escargot...will he be the first..YES! Jumping Spider up next...NO! Ochitaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
24. Kouhei Mori of Shinsengumi Rian is up next! Steps. Yes! Hazard Swing...YES! Rolling Escargot up...YES! The next is the farthest any member o...never mind. He just failed the Jumping Spider.
25. Tetsuji Sakakibara of Shinsengumi Rian! Steps and Hazard Swing are fine! Rolling Escargot..Daijoubu! Jumping Spider. He practiced this. He's up..YES! Can he do the Walk though? Let's take a commercial first.
Back...Half-Pipe Attackuuuuu!!!!!! NO! Thanks for playing! Well, he got the farthest so far today.
27. Minowaman is up next! Steps! He almost stumbles but he's through! Hazard Swing...slowly...THE PEOPLE ON THE STREET KNOW NOTHING! NOTHING
Both members of Monster Engine fail the Steps!
As does Mari Okamoto! And Ayano Fukuda! And Akimasa!
Masaki Nomura fails the Hazard Swing! As does soccer player Honda!
29. Takuya Kawahara of the Muscle Musical! He's buff! Steps and the Swing are no problem! Neither is the Escargot! Jumping Spider..YES! Walk and on to the Half-Pipe! YES! Soritatsu Kabe..1st try. NO! 2nd try...no. Third time is the charm! We see him do the Giant Swing but it's time for a commercial!
Back! He's running out of time! NO! The Near Miss Kid strikes again! THE CLOCK HATES TAKUYA? WHY YOU HATE TAKUYA, CLOCK?
Whoa, kind of fast forward. 60 have already failed!
61. Paul Kasemir. He's from America! He's a software engineer! And he does Parkour! He's here to represent G4! Oh..he's doing his run now. Whoops. Ummm..Steps, Swing, Escargot all yes! Jumping Spider...YES! Hey, Yuuji and Kongo! It's like a weird buddy film! Half-Pipe Attack...YES! He looks tall. Soritatsu Kabe in one try! Giant Swing..YES! He goes over. Aw man, I want to see Yuuji and Kongo do a buddy film so badly right now. Lots of time as he goes to the Tarzan Rope. Rope Ladder. The time is going red...YES! 0.8 left!
62. Brent Steffensen! He's a stuntman! And he gets fast forwarded to his finish at 8.2 seconds!
65. Daisuke Morikami of the Muscle Musical! He's a pro MTB rider! Steps and the Swing are no problem! Rolling Escargot...Slowly....YES! Jumping Spider...Itta! Kind of shaky on the Walk but he's through. Half-Pipe Attack! Yes! Can he be the first from Japan? Soritatsu Kabe on the first try! Giant Swing..on the second try! Needs to try to not get caught up in the net. Lots of time though. Here he goes. YES! Time is going red...needs to hurry...FOR THIS COMMERCIAL!
Back.
On the Rope Ladder...jikan ga nai! Hurry! YES! NO! Dameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Even more of a jump...80 have tried! Two have cleared!
"Sure, you Americans have two but our REAL guys are coming up soon."
84. David Campbell! Look at him rip on his guitar! And on his homemade set! Here he goes! Steps. Yes! It's like watching Christopher Daniels running SASUKE. Swing and the Escargot are no problem! And neither is the Jumping Spider. David Campbell Attack! Hahaha. The announcer actually said that. Soritatsu Kabe is no problem! Giant Swing! Yes! Lots of time. Here he goes! High up! I wonder why more people don't try to do that. YES! 21.5! No problems at all! Go David go!
76. Masumi Yagi of Savanna will fail the Steps here. AND THE COMMERCIALS DON'T LIE!
Mori and Ishida fail the Rolling Escargot! And a gymnast fails the Half-Pipe Attack.
Travis Furlanic clears the 1st Stage! No Japanese have cleared yet!
85. Terukazu Ishikawa of the Muscle Musical is up next! Steps, Swing and Escargot are no problem! Neither is the Jumping Spider! Can he be the first from Japan? Half-Pipe Attack! Kabe in one try! Giant Swing...YES! Enough time? Enough time. Tarzan Rope...Rope Ladder..he was a bit low. But no problem! Yes! 9.2! Let's see the replays!
87. Naoki Iketani! He hasn't done well at SASUKE recently. Here he goes! Steps. Yes! Swing. OK! His child is there. That's not a good time. Rolling Escargot...Slowly...YES! Jumping Spider. YES! He had problems on the Walk before..but not today! Half-Pipe...Whoops! OK! Did it cost him? Needs to reset. Kabe..YES! Does he have enough time? GIant Swing...YES! He needs to hurry. He might not make it...He needs to go. Tarzan Rope. 30 is usually safe but he's under that. Up to the platform. YES! 4.3! Wow! I did not expect that.
Daisuke Miyazaki is up next! He hasn't been to SASUKE in a year and a half! Cue the Kull Music!
88. Daisuke Miyazaki! Steps. Yes! Hazard Swing. People can lose time here. Yes! Rolling Escargot...no teammates for him this time. Whoa! It STOPPED! AND HE LOST IT! Oh wow. Well, back to handball success, endorsements and TV appearances.
Oh hey, it's Katsumi Yamada. Mr. Something or other. He wrote a sad sad letter to ask to come back to SASUKE.
The crowd chants his name as Genya starts to play (pay Musashi now!)
90. Katsumi Yamada. Hey, if he clears here, whatever. Steps. Swing...DARN! I mean, YES! Rolling Escargot...Slowly. He loses his footing! But he's OK! He's limping? Jumping Spider. He's UP! AND THEN HE'S DOWN. It actually took Nagano by surprise. Dude, have you even watched the last few years?
Well, at least he got on TV.
91. Hiromichi Satou! Here he goes. Sorry, I missed his soft focus piece. Steps and the Swing are OK! Rolling Escargot...YES! His wife is excited. Jumping Spider...NO!
NAOTO of EXILE is up next! He's the leader of J Soul Brothers, who are there to cheer him on. Steps! YES! Swing is OK! Rolling Escargot...He's got it! Jumping Spider is next. Yes! He needs to do the Walk...CMs first though.
Back! He's on the Walk now...A bit slow though. Will he have time? Half-Pipe Attack. NO! Thanks for lending your face to all the promotion though!
NAOKI fully expected NAOTO to fail the 1st obstacle.
Two from Japan! Four from America!
92. Brian Orosco! He ZOOMS through the Steps and Swing. Rolling Escargot is no problem for the man with the mustache. Mr. Ninja Warrior! Mr. USA! Hahaha. Jumping Spider and the Half-Pipe Attack are no problem! Kabe on the first try! Giant Swing...he's the first to go under! Lots of time! YES! 20.5 No heart attack for us this time! He's the American ace!
That's five! Pretty good for G4!
"The what are revolting?" "The chickens, sir! The chickens are revolting!"
94. Shingo Yamamoto! Here he goes! Steps is no problem...He needs to be careful. Swing is OK. Rolling Escargot...NO! It spun too fast at the end! Everyone is suitably shocked! Is this the earliest an All-Star has been knocked out? Cue the dramatic music.
Hitoshi Kanno..IS OUT AT THE ESCARGOT, TOO! And so is Kongo!
95. Lee En Chi! Can he redeem the New Stars? Steps and Swing are no problem! Rolling Escargot! OK! Tobimasu! Jumping Spider is OK! Half-Pipe...He has to swing back! Soritatsu Kabe...first try..NO! Second try...YES! Giant Swing...he needs to hurry though. He won't have much time. Time will go red soon...Can he do it? Go! GO! GO! YES! 1.3!
Yoshiyuki Okuayam is up next! But let's kill some time first.
Back.
97. Yoshiyuki Okuyama! Steps! Yes! Swing is no problem. And neither is the Rolling Escargot. Jumping Spider is a go! And so is the Half-Pipe Attack! Soritatsu Kabe on the first try! Giant Swing! He wastes time in the net. Needs to hurry. Rope Ladder...time is going red. hurry up man! YES! 2.5!
98. Koji Hashimoto gets the fast forward treatment but he's through and he didn't even take off his t-shirt!
Focus Nagano! He carries the weight of the All-Stars on his back!
99. Makoto Nagano! Here he goes! Steps. He always looks smooth on here. CMs.
Back.
Makoto Nagano! Steps. Hazard Swing. Rolling Escargot coming up...here he goes. YES! Jumping Spider. He had problems here last time. YES! WHOOPS! I JINXED IT!
Everyone is shocked. Not as shocking as it used to be to see Nagano fail but still and all...
100. Yuuji Urushihara! He's the leader of the New Stars! And...um...there's not that much time left. Here he goes. Steps! YES! Hazard Swing. YES! Rolling Escargot...this is scary...He loses time as he loses his footing but he's through. Jumping Spider. YES! NO! Wait..he can still do it! GO GO GO! YES! He's through but does he have time? Half-Pipe Attack...NO!
Well, almost every problem you could have on the obstacles, Yuuji just did. He landed on the platform wrong on the Half-Pipe Attack and that was it.
2nd Stage
There are five Americans, four Japanese and 1 Taiwanese. And about fifty minutes left.
61. Paul Kasemir is up first! Slider Drop is OK! Double Salmon Ladder coming up. At the switch. YES! Unstable Bridge next. 1st board. 2nd board! YES! Balance Tank up next. YES! Metal Spin! Needs to hurry though! Wall Lifting YES! 2.5!
62. Brent Steffensen! Is fast forwarded! YES! 21.6!
Naoki Iketani is suitably impressed!
Travis Furlanic fails the Balance Tank!
David Campbell is through! That's three out of four! Koji Hashimoto feels the pressure!
Terukazu Ishikawa is the first Japanese competitor! Slider Drop. YES! At the Double Salmon Ladder. At the switch. NO!
Naoki Iketani is next! But first, some commercials.
87. Naoki Iketani! Slider Drop. Is this his first Salmon Ladder? Make it a double! He misses a rung! Back on track! At the switch. NO! Ahhh..zannen.
Brian Orosco gets through in fast forward!
Lee En Chi is the hope of Taiwan! Slider Drop! YES! Double Salmon Ladder and the Unstable Bridge are no problem! Balance Tank. YES! Metal Spin...He's had problems here before. YES! Wall Lifting. Enough time? Yes! And he's through!
Koji Hashimoto! He's the last of two! Can he do it? Slider Drop is no problem. Double Salmon Ladder too. The Unstable Bridge is..OK! Balance Tank. Yes! Metal Spin...NO! He had it then lost it! Wait. He never had it.
Yoshiyuki Okuyama is Japan's last hope!
The All-Stars are all gone. The New Stars are all gone. It's down to the man who is neither an All-Star nor a New Star.
Yoshiyuki Okuyama! Slider Drop is OK! Double Salmon Ladder. YES! Unstable Bridge. Slowly. YES! Whoa...not much time. Metal Spin. He reaches the Wall Lifting with 7 seconds left! But let's cut the drama with some CMs.
Back.
At the Metal Spin. Time is going red. Go! Go! GO! GO! G! YES! YES! YES! YES! 0.3 left! Wow! Everyone is suitably impressed.
3rd Stage
Paul Kasemir is up first! Roulette Cylinder. Slowly. No time limit but still, hanging on to something like that for too long will sap your strength. Doorknob Grasper next. NO!
David Campbell is up next! Roulette Cylinder...wait. CMs first.
By the way, the unwritten TV rules of SASUKE state that there probably won't be anyone reaching the Final tonight. There's only 20 minutes left.
Back. He's past the Roulette Cylinder. Doorknob Grasper next. Slowly. Methodically. YES! New area, the Cycing Road. Yes! Ultimate Cliff Hanger up next. YES! He's at the first gap. Tries to pull himself up..NO!
Nagano and the others who stuck around are shocked.
Brent Steffensen doesn't get to the gap! He failed the Ultimate Cliff Hanger too.
Brian Orosco fails the Roulette Cylinder! And that's all the Americans!
Now, Taiwan's las..er..ONLY hope, Lee En Chi is up! Roulette Cylinder. Slowly. He can't quite reach the Doorknob Grasper yet..now he does. Whoa! He almost loses it! But he's through! Cycling Road next. He uses his momentum to take him up and then he's through! Ultimate Cliff Hanger up next. Will he be the first to do it? He doesn't go all the way up the first slant. First gap. YES! Going for the next...NO!
Yoshiyuki Okuyama is not just Japan's last hope. He is our only hope left to defeat the Ultimate Cliff Hanger! But hey, we only have less than ten minutes less. Let's waste time with videos and music!
Roulette Cylinder. He loses a hand! OK. Back on track. Doorknob Grasper. Slowly. But he's through! America versus Japan! Cycling Road is no problem. Here he goes...
Ultimate Cliff Hanger...here he goes. He gets up to the straight bar. First gap. YES! At the second gap but a commercial first.
Back! Here he goes...NO! He didn't even get into the jump motion! And that's it! Thanks for coming everybody!
What will...wait, what? There was a SASUKE between last January and now? I don't remember...oh. That's weird, I don't remember that one at all.
Let's start again...
SASUKE 2011! At the last SASUKE..stuff..umm..happened. No one got past the Ultimate Cliff Hanger. The All-Stars were frustrated once again as the New Stars proved that they belong in any discussion about who will be the next person to complete SASUKE, regardless of what people on the street think.
Oh, and Mr. SASUKE is back. He should have come back under a mask. That would have been mildly interesting...
While we're waiting for these commercials to finish let's go over the competitors list again...
Here we go!
0.12% Only 3 out of 2500 have ever finished SASUKE! Tonight, we will add one more? It's NAOTO 2011...I mean SASUKE 2011!
Oh gee, don't spoil too much during the opening TBS. Well, we already know what happens to the guy from Savanna.
Hey, we only have two and a half hours. Don't waste time with this stuff now! That's what Navi was for!
Let's look at all the different types of people who will take on SASUKE! I enjoy that TBS announcer is a category with stuntman and MMA fighter.
Fists raised! Black power!
1. Nishida Takayuki! He is a running coach! Here he goes! Steps. NO!
7. Torisawa Katsuhide blows all his energy smashing drinks! FACE FIRST INTO THE WATER after the steps!
8. Shinya Kishimoto bends a frying pan for your pleasure! Here he goes! Step Slider...YES! Hazard Swing..Itta! And our third new obstacle...the Rolling Escargot...NO! Head first into the water! THE FRYING PAN IS AVENGED!
Yoshio Kojima is up next! Do your schtick! Steps. YES! HE DOESN'T TRY THE BRIDGE! And he face plants!
17. Charisma host has his charismatic friends with him! Into the water after the steps!
18. Eiko Kanno! Uh huh. Steps, I bet. He kills time. He defies my expectations! Slowly on the Haazard Swing. And he actually gets it! On the Rolling Escargot...GOOD NIGHT! Not that we expected him to get very far.
We go back to number 9. Carlos from the Muscle Musical! He's a pro juggler. Steps! Yes! Hazard Swing. I bet he's there to say that SASUKE has representatives from whatever country he is from. He got the swing. And he loses his grip on the Rolling Escargot! Shingo is scared!
TBS announcer Yuuko Aoki 青木裕子! She doesn't reach the ropes!
TBS announcer Mai Demizu 出水麻衣 doesn't either!
Tsukiji sushi shop manager Hioki 築地すし鮮の日沖店長 goes out on the steps too!
Sorry, fell behind a bit!
23. Hideo Tokoro! NO! Didn't even get to the rope! The crowd gets down on him!
Minoru Kuramochi 倉持稔 is up next! And he's wearing a octopus costume! Here he goes! This time we won't see his butt! Steps. Slowly..YES! WAIT...He's still swinging...YES! NO! YES! He got it! Small Victories! Better than Hideo Tokoro! Slowly on the Hazard Swing...swinging...YES! He got the rope! Can he do it! Wait, he's blown up! Oh crud..He's going to DIE here. Rolling Escargot..Slowly. NO! Sorry, tweeting and watching at the same time...
Metal artist Daigo fails the steps! And so do some other people I know! I'll get them later.
14. Karate guy fails the Rolling Escargot.
Several people fail the Rolling Escargot including Rie Komiya and Kenjirou Ishimaru!
15. He's a cheerleader! Step Slider. Yes! Hazard Swing. Slowly. YES! Rolling Escargot...will he be the first..YES! Jumping Spider up next...NO! Ochitaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
24. Kouhei Mori of Shinsengumi Rian is up next! Steps. Yes! Hazard Swing...YES! Rolling Escargot up...YES! The next is the farthest any member o...never mind. He just failed the Jumping Spider.
25. Tetsuji Sakakibara of Shinsengumi Rian! Steps and Hazard Swing are fine! Rolling Escargot..Daijoubu! Jumping Spider. He practiced this. He's up..YES! Can he do the Walk though? Let's take a commercial first.
Back...Half-Pipe Attackuuuuu!!!!!! NO! Thanks for playing! Well, he got the farthest so far today.
27. Minowaman is up next! Steps! He almost stumbles but he's through! Hazard Swing...slowly...THE PEOPLE ON THE STREET KNOW NOTHING! NOTHING
Both members of Monster Engine fail the Steps!
As does Mari Okamoto! And Ayano Fukuda! And Akimasa!
Masaki Nomura fails the Hazard Swing! As does soccer player Honda!
29. Takuya Kawahara of the Muscle Musical! He's buff! Steps and the Swing are no problem! Neither is the Escargot! Jumping Spider..YES! Walk and on to the Half-Pipe! YES! Soritatsu Kabe..1st try. NO! 2nd try...no. Third time is the charm! We see him do the Giant Swing but it's time for a commercial!
Back! He's running out of time! NO! The Near Miss Kid strikes again! THE CLOCK HATES TAKUYA? WHY YOU HATE TAKUYA, CLOCK?
Whoa, kind of fast forward. 60 have already failed!
61. Paul Kasemir. He's from America! He's a software engineer! And he does Parkour! He's here to represent G4! Oh..he's doing his run now. Whoops. Ummm..Steps, Swing, Escargot all yes! Jumping Spider...YES! Hey, Yuuji and Kongo! It's like a weird buddy film! Half-Pipe Attack...YES! He looks tall. Soritatsu Kabe in one try! Giant Swing..YES! He goes over. Aw man, I want to see Yuuji and Kongo do a buddy film so badly right now. Lots of time as he goes to the Tarzan Rope. Rope Ladder. The time is going red...YES! 0.8 left!
62. Brent Steffensen! He's a stuntman! And he gets fast forwarded to his finish at 8.2 seconds!
65. Daisuke Morikami of the Muscle Musical! He's a pro MTB rider! Steps and the Swing are no problem! Rolling Escargot...Slowly....YES! Jumping Spider...Itta! Kind of shaky on the Walk but he's through. Half-Pipe Attack! Yes! Can he be the first from Japan? Soritatsu Kabe on the first try! Giant Swing..on the second try! Needs to try to not get caught up in the net. Lots of time though. Here he goes. YES! Time is going red...needs to hurry...FOR THIS COMMERCIAL!
Back.
On the Rope Ladder...jikan ga nai! Hurry! YES! NO! Dameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Even more of a jump...80 have tried! Two have cleared!
"Sure, you Americans have two but our REAL guys are coming up soon."
84. David Campbell! Look at him rip on his guitar! And on his homemade set! Here he goes! Steps. Yes! It's like watching Christopher Daniels running SASUKE. Swing and the Escargot are no problem! And neither is the Jumping Spider. David Campbell Attack! Hahaha. The announcer actually said that. Soritatsu Kabe is no problem! Giant Swing! Yes! Lots of time. Here he goes! High up! I wonder why more people don't try to do that. YES! 21.5! No problems at all! Go David go!
76. Masumi Yagi of Savanna will fail the Steps here. AND THE COMMERCIALS DON'T LIE!
Mori and Ishida fail the Rolling Escargot! And a gymnast fails the Half-Pipe Attack.
Travis Furlanic clears the 1st Stage! No Japanese have cleared yet!
85. Terukazu Ishikawa of the Muscle Musical is up next! Steps, Swing and Escargot are no problem! Neither is the Jumping Spider! Can he be the first from Japan? Half-Pipe Attack! Kabe in one try! Giant Swing...YES! Enough time? Enough time. Tarzan Rope...Rope Ladder..he was a bit low. But no problem! Yes! 9.2! Let's see the replays!
87. Naoki Iketani! He hasn't done well at SASUKE recently. Here he goes! Steps. Yes! Swing. OK! His child is there. That's not a good time. Rolling Escargot...Slowly...YES! Jumping Spider. YES! He had problems on the Walk before..but not today! Half-Pipe...Whoops! OK! Did it cost him? Needs to reset. Kabe..YES! Does he have enough time? GIant Swing...YES! He needs to hurry. He might not make it...He needs to go. Tarzan Rope. 30 is usually safe but he's under that. Up to the platform. YES! 4.3! Wow! I did not expect that.
Daisuke Miyazaki is up next! He hasn't been to SASUKE in a year and a half! Cue the Kull Music!
88. Daisuke Miyazaki! Steps. Yes! Hazard Swing. People can lose time here. Yes! Rolling Escargot...no teammates for him this time. Whoa! It STOPPED! AND HE LOST IT! Oh wow. Well, back to handball success, endorsements and TV appearances.
Oh hey, it's Katsumi Yamada. Mr. Something or other. He wrote a sad sad letter to ask to come back to SASUKE.
The crowd chants his name as Genya starts to play (pay Musashi now!)
90. Katsumi Yamada. Hey, if he clears here, whatever. Steps. Swing...DARN! I mean, YES! Rolling Escargot...Slowly. He loses his footing! But he's OK! He's limping? Jumping Spider. He's UP! AND THEN HE'S DOWN. It actually took Nagano by surprise. Dude, have you even watched the last few years?
Well, at least he got on TV.
91. Hiromichi Satou! Here he goes. Sorry, I missed his soft focus piece. Steps and the Swing are OK! Rolling Escargot...YES! His wife is excited. Jumping Spider...NO!
NAOTO of EXILE is up next! He's the leader of J Soul Brothers, who are there to cheer him on. Steps! YES! Swing is OK! Rolling Escargot...He's got it! Jumping Spider is next. Yes! He needs to do the Walk...CMs first though.
Back! He's on the Walk now...A bit slow though. Will he have time? Half-Pipe Attack. NO! Thanks for lending your face to all the promotion though!
NAOKI fully expected NAOTO to fail the 1st obstacle.
Two from Japan! Four from America!
92. Brian Orosco! He ZOOMS through the Steps and Swing. Rolling Escargot is no problem for the man with the mustache. Mr. Ninja Warrior! Mr. USA! Hahaha. Jumping Spider and the Half-Pipe Attack are no problem! Kabe on the first try! Giant Swing...he's the first to go under! Lots of time! YES! 20.5 No heart attack for us this time! He's the American ace!
That's five! Pretty good for G4!
"The what are revolting?" "The chickens, sir! The chickens are revolting!"
94. Shingo Yamamoto! Here he goes! Steps is no problem...He needs to be careful. Swing is OK. Rolling Escargot...NO! It spun too fast at the end! Everyone is suitably shocked! Is this the earliest an All-Star has been knocked out? Cue the dramatic music.
Hitoshi Kanno..IS OUT AT THE ESCARGOT, TOO! And so is Kongo!
95. Lee En Chi! Can he redeem the New Stars? Steps and Swing are no problem! Rolling Escargot! OK! Tobimasu! Jumping Spider is OK! Half-Pipe...He has to swing back! Soritatsu Kabe...first try..NO! Second try...YES! Giant Swing...he needs to hurry though. He won't have much time. Time will go red soon...Can he do it? Go! GO! GO! YES! 1.3!
Yoshiyuki Okuayam is up next! But let's kill some time first.
Back.
97. Yoshiyuki Okuyama! Steps! Yes! Swing is no problem. And neither is the Rolling Escargot. Jumping Spider is a go! And so is the Half-Pipe Attack! Soritatsu Kabe on the first try! Giant Swing! He wastes time in the net. Needs to hurry. Rope Ladder...time is going red. hurry up man! YES! 2.5!
98. Koji Hashimoto gets the fast forward treatment but he's through and he didn't even take off his t-shirt!
Focus Nagano! He carries the weight of the All-Stars on his back!
99. Makoto Nagano! Here he goes! Steps. He always looks smooth on here. CMs.
Back.
Makoto Nagano! Steps. Hazard Swing. Rolling Escargot coming up...here he goes. YES! Jumping Spider. He had problems here last time. YES! WHOOPS! I JINXED IT!
Everyone is shocked. Not as shocking as it used to be to see Nagano fail but still and all...
100. Yuuji Urushihara! He's the leader of the New Stars! And...um...there's not that much time left. Here he goes. Steps! YES! Hazard Swing. YES! Rolling Escargot...this is scary...He loses time as he loses his footing but he's through. Jumping Spider. YES! NO! Wait..he can still do it! GO GO GO! YES! He's through but does he have time? Half-Pipe Attack...NO!
Well, almost every problem you could have on the obstacles, Yuuji just did. He landed on the platform wrong on the Half-Pipe Attack and that was it.
2nd Stage
There are five Americans, four Japanese and 1 Taiwanese. And about fifty minutes left.
61. Paul Kasemir is up first! Slider Drop is OK! Double Salmon Ladder coming up. At the switch. YES! Unstable Bridge next. 1st board. 2nd board! YES! Balance Tank up next. YES! Metal Spin! Needs to hurry though! Wall Lifting YES! 2.5!
62. Brent Steffensen! Is fast forwarded! YES! 21.6!
Naoki Iketani is suitably impressed!
Travis Furlanic fails the Balance Tank!
David Campbell is through! That's three out of four! Koji Hashimoto feels the pressure!
Terukazu Ishikawa is the first Japanese competitor! Slider Drop. YES! At the Double Salmon Ladder. At the switch. NO!
Naoki Iketani is next! But first, some commercials.
87. Naoki Iketani! Slider Drop. Is this his first Salmon Ladder? Make it a double! He misses a rung! Back on track! At the switch. NO! Ahhh..zannen.
Brian Orosco gets through in fast forward!
Lee En Chi is the hope of Taiwan! Slider Drop! YES! Double Salmon Ladder and the Unstable Bridge are no problem! Balance Tank. YES! Metal Spin...He's had problems here before. YES! Wall Lifting. Enough time? Yes! And he's through!
Koji Hashimoto! He's the last of two! Can he do it? Slider Drop is no problem. Double Salmon Ladder too. The Unstable Bridge is..OK! Balance Tank. Yes! Metal Spin...NO! He had it then lost it! Wait. He never had it.
Yoshiyuki Okuyama is Japan's last hope!
The All-Stars are all gone. The New Stars are all gone. It's down to the man who is neither an All-Star nor a New Star.
Yoshiyuki Okuyama! Slider Drop is OK! Double Salmon Ladder. YES! Unstable Bridge. Slowly. YES! Whoa...not much time. Metal Spin. He reaches the Wall Lifting with 7 seconds left! But let's cut the drama with some CMs.
Back.
At the Metal Spin. Time is going red. Go! Go! GO! GO! G! YES! YES! YES! YES! 0.3 left! Wow! Everyone is suitably impressed.
3rd Stage
Paul Kasemir is up first! Roulette Cylinder. Slowly. No time limit but still, hanging on to something like that for too long will sap your strength. Doorknob Grasper next. NO!
David Campbell is up next! Roulette Cylinder...wait. CMs first.
By the way, the unwritten TV rules of SASUKE state that there probably won't be anyone reaching the Final tonight. There's only 20 minutes left.
Back. He's past the Roulette Cylinder. Doorknob Grasper next. Slowly. Methodically. YES! New area, the Cycing Road. Yes! Ultimate Cliff Hanger up next. YES! He's at the first gap. Tries to pull himself up..NO!
Nagano and the others who stuck around are shocked.
Brent Steffensen doesn't get to the gap! He failed the Ultimate Cliff Hanger too.
Brian Orosco fails the Roulette Cylinder! And that's all the Americans!
Now, Taiwan's las..er..ONLY hope, Lee En Chi is up! Roulette Cylinder. Slowly. He can't quite reach the Doorknob Grasper yet..now he does. Whoa! He almost loses it! But he's through! Cycling Road next. He uses his momentum to take him up and then he's through! Ultimate Cliff Hanger up next. Will he be the first to do it? He doesn't go all the way up the first slant. First gap. YES! Going for the next...NO!
Yoshiyuki Okuyama is not just Japan's last hope. He is our only hope left to defeat the Ultimate Cliff Hanger! But hey, we only have less than ten minutes less. Let's waste time with videos and music!
Roulette Cylinder. He loses a hand! OK. Back on track. Doorknob Grasper. Slowly. But he's through! America versus Japan! Cycling Road is no problem. Here he goes...
Ultimate Cliff Hanger...here he goes. He gets up to the straight bar. First gap. YES! At the second gap but a commercial first.
Back! Here he goes...NO! He didn't even get into the jump motion! And that's it! Thanks for coming everybody!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Possible SASUKE 2008 秋 / SASUKE 21回 Airdate!
The latest issue of 月刊テレビナビ (Gekkan TV Navi) that covers 8/27 to 9/30 has the following under September 17th:
The blurb under it says 内容は未定 (naiyou wa mitei) which means details are pending. What details? Probably the names of whoever made it to the competition and the announcers and TBS trying to do some sort of foreshadowing that if you read closely enough gives away the ending or something.
September 17th! 6:55 to 10:48! Be there or be square!
The blurb under it says 内容は未定 (naiyou wa mitei) which means details are pending. What details? Probably the names of whoever made it to the competition and the announcers and TBS trying to do some sort of foreshadowing that if you read closely enough gives away the ending or something.
September 17th! 6:55 to 10:48! Be there or be square!
Sunday, December 30, 2007
The First SASUKE? Plus, Kane Kosugi at the Shaolin Temple: Kinniku Banzuke!
Well, it looks like G4 is going to re-air the Kinniku Banzuke (Muscle Ranking) series as a show called Unbeatable Banzuke. For those who don't know, Kinniku Banzuke is the TV series that spawned SASUKE, KUNOICHI, Sportsman No. 1 and the Muscle Musical. It aired from 1995 to 2002 and was then replaced by two other shows that didn't do as well and eventually got canceled. You can read all about it here.
Kane Kosugi was a big part of Kinniku Banzuke as a competitor in SASUKE and the Sportsman No. 1 shows (he dominated the early Geinojin Sportsman shows until Naoki Iketani showed up). Kane moved to Japan to try to make it on his own, away from the shadow of his father Sho Kosugi (well-known by teen-aged boys of the 80s for being a ninja). Part of Kinniku Banzuke was about Kane going around and trying different things like being a stunt man or going through SWAT training. In the following clip, we see him learning martial arts at the Shaolin Temple:
And here's an interview from 2003 with Hawaii's Eye-Ai magazine.
Omori Akira AKA Monkkiki (he changed his name to jump-start his career based on advice by that fortune teller lady who's always telling people that they should have died some time or that they will die because of..something) was also a regular in the early days of Kinniku Banzuke. He even went to learn Muay Thai kickboxing for the show. As far as I know, G4 has never aired any part of the first SASUKE competition so we don't know much about it. In the following clip, I assume that the first 40 seconds of this is part of his run in the 1st show as his contestant number matches that found in the SASUKE wikipedia entry and he makes it to the final stage:
Couple of other SASUKE related notes:
The cast of the Muscle Musical will once again perform during NHK's Kohaku Uta Gassen.
Some other competitors for the Sportsman No. 1 show on New Years Day aside from Ronaldinho, Paul ANTHONY Terek and Wakky are Nakayama Kinnikun, handball player Miyazaki Daisuke (who won Sportsman No. 1 in 2006), football player Kinoshita Noriaki (NFL Europe) and San Francisco Giants outfielder Rajai Davis.
Kane Kosugi was a big part of Kinniku Banzuke as a competitor in SASUKE and the Sportsman No. 1 shows (he dominated the early Geinojin Sportsman shows until Naoki Iketani showed up). Kane moved to Japan to try to make it on his own, away from the shadow of his father Sho Kosugi (well-known by teen-aged boys of the 80s for being a ninja). Part of Kinniku Banzuke was about Kane going around and trying different things like being a stunt man or going through SWAT training. In the following clip, we see him learning martial arts at the Shaolin Temple:
And here's an interview from 2003 with Hawaii's Eye-Ai magazine.
Omori Akira AKA Monkkiki (he changed his name to jump-start his career based on advice by that fortune teller lady who's always telling people that they should have died some time or that they will die because of..something) was also a regular in the early days of Kinniku Banzuke. He even went to learn Muay Thai kickboxing for the show. As far as I know, G4 has never aired any part of the first SASUKE competition so we don't know much about it. In the following clip, I assume that the first 40 seconds of this is part of his run in the 1st show as his contestant number matches that found in the SASUKE wikipedia entry and he makes it to the final stage:
Couple of other SASUKE related notes:
The cast of the Muscle Musical will once again perform during NHK's Kohaku Uta Gassen.
Some other competitors for the Sportsman No. 1 show on New Years Day aside from Ronaldinho, Paul ANTHONY Terek and Wakky are Nakayama Kinnikun, handball player Miyazaki Daisuke (who won Sportsman No. 1 in 2006), football player Kinoshita Noriaki (NFL Europe) and San Francisco Giants outfielder Rajai Davis.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
新 SASUKE 秋! The Sort of Live Blog! American Ninja Warriors and SASUKE All-Stars oh my!
Update: Japan Probe has some clips of the competition up here.
It's the Shin-SASUKE Fall 2007 sort of live blog! What did we learn from the last two live blogs I did? One lesson is that I need to do a bit more research before the blog because it was hell trying to figure out what was what. We've got a bit of inside info from the Bengoshi SASUKE~! so I have some idea of how the first stage is laid out. Hope you don't get edited out Bengoshi! Oh, and the other lesson I learned is don't hold down the shift button too long or stuff will happen to your keyboard.
Here we go!
Y'know, TBS gives a lot away during the opening credits. Way to build suspense guys.
No race this year. Perhaps it took too long? First Ninja Warriors sighting! Paul ANTHONY Terek! Nagasaki brothers!
Version up!
1 - Suidokyoku (Water Works) guy! He's stretching! The Sextuple Steps is back because apparently too many people got hurt on the Rope Glider. Log Grip and Pole Maze are no problem. Jumping Spider is!
2 - Yamashita something something! He can tear a comic book! And not one of those twenty page American ones. It doesn't help! He falls on the Log Grip.
6 - He's from Ghana! He's a model! Log Grip! No! He falls Ghanian butt first into the water.
8 - The son of a Yokozuna! Kitano something or other. I'm bad with the names this year. Log Grip! Your father should disown you!!!!
9 - Choshu Korikki! His number is falling off. He takes a GIANT fall off the steps into the water! Let's see that again.
Next guy has no number. He's some sort of doctor? He's got nurse supporters! Log Grip! Okay! Pole Maze! No! The pole hit a bar and he went flying off!
Next guy is a weight lifter! He smashes an apple! IT DOESN'T HELP! He falls into the water.
Next up is a female beach football player! She's 30 (her age, not number). Steps are okay! Log Grip is up next! FUMBLE! Or she fell off. Take your pick.
Capoeira (or however you spell it) guy! NO! He lets down all his students! He then dances himself into the mud. He was number 27 btw.
Next up! Lance Tapend! Or whatever! He teaches at an international school! He's got students there. That's never a good sign. Up to the Pole Maze! Some problems but he's through. Jumping Spider! Airball! He got up into the air but never connected. His students are shocked! But no crying. Darn. He was number 28.
Digest time! A masked wrestler, female futsal player, comedian, some guy named TATSUJI! and some other guy hit the water. The wrestler was Flying Kid something something.
30 is the Guitar Samurai! Yamaguchi-ken represent! Steps are okay! Log Grip! And much like Abe Shinzo, he lets Yamaguchi down.
We skip ahead annnnnnnd...
42 is the BENGOSHI SASUKE! He's wearing a suit! And has a sign! He's off! Log Grip...no problem! Pole Maze! OKAY! Jumping Spider....he's up..NO!. Good try though Lenny! Give us more inside info next time!
Next is that really creepy guy that makes the models. He usually goes a step and then falls! PERSONAL BEST! He makes it two steps before hitting the water.
OCTOPUS GUY! Heh, there's an octopus waiting for him on the red button. He here goes! We have 115 seconds for the first stage by the way. Steps! OK! Log Grip! OK! Pole Maze coming up. WHOA! WAIT! He's still on the pole. He's trying to go back to get his balance. OK! One more try? He's trying to get his balance. Cut to the last ten seconds and he's still on the pole. Time up! The octopus is lonely.
Next is the glider guy (where are the numbers?). He's stuck between the last two steps! He tries to jump for it! NO! Heh. Some dude in a red shirt thinks that was HILARIOUS.
More digest time!
Some guy, a trucker, some comedian, a guy wearing a gymnastics uniform all strike out.
43 - Minami Yoshihiro! He's a stunt man! He's been on Mito Komon! Steps and Log Grip are no problem! Pole Maze! OKAY! Jumping Spider....whoa! He was stuck and then bounced back and flipped on the platform! SASUGA ACTION HAIYU! He's the first to the new area! The Half-Pipe Attack! NO! So the Half-Pipe Attack is a curved wall off which you must jump and grab a rope. He didn't quite have his footing.
The veterans are a bit concerned.
47 - Is Matsuda something or other! He qualified via Muscle Park! Man, I need to go there. He has a sash! Steps and Log Grip are no problem. Pole Maze up. OK! Jumping Spider. He takes a breath. Yes! He's through. Half-Pipe...He's got the rope! NO!
Darn. He had potential.
48 - He...umm..he's having wardrobe problems. He can't get his pants over his shoes! He's going for it anyway! First step and no! He still has his pants around his ankles as he comes out of the water. Let's see that again! Wow, lesson to be learned by everyone. Wear a costume that comes off easily. That'll be hard to live down at the office. Hey, someone else was in the water too? Heh. A camera man wiped out as it was happening. Someone at TBS has a sense of humour as a kind of Benny Hill music is playing in the background.
As he walks away his pants are still around his ankles.
Fifty have tried! Fifty have failed!
51 - Is G4 Ninja Warrior Bret Simms! He practiced with the All-Stars at Shiratori's place! CMs.
We're back!
Steps and Log Grip are no problem. Pole Maze! OK! Jumping Spider! Here he goes! He's UP!
Ninja WARRRRIOR!
He couldn't keep his grip.
OH MY GOD!
His free G4 t-shirt got wet! But he really enjoyed it!
55 - Misaki something! He's a teacher. His students have been on SASUKE JUNIOR! He's off. Steps. Log Grip. Pole Maze. Jumping Spider. He had some trouble with this in his video. Here he goes! HEAD FIRST INTO THE WATER! Way to go, teach!
Next up is reaction geinojin Degawa! He gets the spray from Mister SASUKE! That's an automatic fail. LOG GRIP! NO! Why'd he take his shirt off before that? He wasn't very serious about the whole thing.
57 - He's a university student who wants to be a pro boxer! Steps, Log Grip and Pole Maze are no problem! Jumping Spider! Yes! He has potential. Can he do it? Half Pipe! Yes! He's up to the Wall! First chance! Yes! Flying Chute! Yes! Tobimashita! Time is precious though! D'oh! CMs.
Rich donuts! So where do the poor donuts go?
Suzy and Mark? Huh?
We're back! Jikan ga nai! Rope Ladder! Will he be...NO! TIME-UP!
The All-Stars are worried!
0 for 70!
71 - He's 15! He'll be the coolest kid in school if he makes it! Man, where do people find the space and time to make the obstacles in their homes? Steps and Log Grip are okay! Pole Maze! He's stuck! He can't get it! He's too light I think. Wait! Okay! He either doesn't have the strength or the weight to move the bar. Finally! Jumping Spider! Yes! Can he do it? It will be close. Half-Pipppp...He slips!
77 - Nagasaki Takamasa! Will he be the first! He says he'll be the first like last time! Steps and Log Grip are no problem! Pole Maze! Jumping Spider! Sugoi speed! Half- Pipe Attack is no problem! He's up to the wall but then I get a commercial for 7-11!
We're back! First chance..no! Second. No! Third! Yes! Flying Chute! NO!!!!!!!! He missed the rope! I guess he was wrong. Nagasaki brothers! Shunsuke is worried.
79 - 3% body fat Yamada Koji! Steps and Log Grip are no problem. Pole Maze! OK! Jumping Spider! YES! Orange pants! Half-Pipe Attack! NO PROBLEM! The Wall is up! First try! Flying Chute! YES! WAIT! He can't reach the ladder! YES HE DOES! IS HE GOING TO DO IT! 18 seconds left. Rope ladder! Ten seconds! YES! With four seconds left! After 79 people we get our first through!
The rope must be a bit farther away from the ladder on the Flying Chute or something.
81 - Our first All-Star! Yamamoto Shingo! Steps and Log Grip are no problem. Pole Maze! Whoa! Abunai! He takes a second chance at it. He's through. Jumping Spider. Yes! NO! He got into the space and then couldn't hold it.
Yamamoto Shingo masaka!
82 - Our next All-Star! Shiratori Bunpei! He builds! He's added a Salmon Ladder to his set. Nagano gives him encouragement! 1 for 81 so far! Here he goes! Steps, Log Grip are okay! Some problem with the Pole Maze but he's through. Jumping Spider! YES! Half-Pipe Attack! Yes! Here come the Wall! No! Once more! No! Less than 30 seconds! He looks tired! Yes! He's got it but he's tired! Time is running out! Flying Chute! Time UP! Just as he hits the rope! Oy vey.
The All-Stars are worried.
He drops himself into the water.
84 - Takahashi Kenji! He reached the third stage last time. As I said then, he's unhandsome. I'm no model but...anyway, Steps and Log Grip are okay! Pole Maze! OKAY! Jumping Spider! Ye..NO! His left leg wasn't up in time. You have to get your body just right.
More people don't make it. Four to be exact.
86 - Motor-cross rider Washimi Yuuji! He didn't get past the Salmon Ladder last time. It's time for revenge! Steps and Log Grip are no problem. Pole Maze...OK. Jumping Spider! OK! Half-Pipe Attack! OK! A kyu rider! Wall! FIRST TRY! Lots of time left! Flying Chute! YES! Can he make it two? Rope Ladder! He's up! Time is going red! YES! 3.2 seconds left! WE HAVE TWO!
87 - American's Colin Bell! The G4 winner! Steps are fine! Log Grip and Pole Maze no problem! Jumping Spider!
NINJA WARRIOR!
COLIN BEEEEEEEEERU!
Wow, I think the G4 Ninja Warrior forum members will not be very happy.
I wish I could have practiced the Jumping Spider more!
91 - Here we go! Mister SASUKE! Yamada Katsumi! Jinsei SASUKE!
Before he starts let us re-live his recent past failures.
Only two of the ninety. Can he do it? If he falls on the steps I don't know if I'll be able to complete this live blog.
Here he goes! Whoa! He did stumble a bit there. Log Grip! CMs.
September 23rd. Doors! It's a kind of obstacle course for geinojin. I believe they are in teams of four? Anyway, it's not nearly as phsyically taxing as SASUKE.
We're back! First two obstacles again. Pole Maze! Problems! He has to try again. He's limping! Second try. He's stuck! Time is running out! He's smiling! At HIS OWN FAILURE! Twenty seconds left and he's finally on to the Jumping Spider.
YAMADA KATSUMIIIIIIII! That wasn't quite as satisfying since you knew he wasn't going to finish the first stage anyway. That was, I have to say, a new low point in the career of Mister SASUKE.
Three All-Stars! Three failures!
Takeda! You're up! He's been practicing the Salmon Ladder.
96 - Takeda! He's off! He's got rhythmic clapping! Steps, Log Grip no problem! The Pole Maze! He takes two tries to get it. Jumping SPIDER! Tonda! Tonda! His pants are orange! Half-Pipe Attack! Clear! The wall! NO! Second time. NO! Third! NO! Saigo no chance! NO! Twenty seconds! He's got it! But the time has gone red!
MASAKA! Wow.
Four All-Stars! Four failures.
What's going on?
97 - Nagasaki Shunsuke! Steps! Okay. His brother is looking on! Log Grip and Pole Maze are no problems. Jumping Spider! The crowd ooohs! Sasuga trampoline players! Half-Pipe Attack! No problem. Wall is no problem! Flying Chute! Whoa! Abunai!
NANDE!
Wow. Again.
CMs. Freedom-project.jp
We're back. He missed the rope ladder to climb down. Wow. And we thought KUNOICHI was hard this year.
Nagasaki Brothers fall victim to the Flying Chute.
97 participants. 2 have cleared.
98 - PAUL! ANTHONY! TEREK! He's your Sportsman No. 1 in case you didn't know. He's off! King of Athletes! Pole Maze is NO PROBLEM! Cool. Jumping Spider! AHHHHHHHHH!
His foot slipped. His left foot didn't land cleanly and it cost him.
99 - Sato Hiromichi. He's the host of Muscle Channel. His son is there. As we all know, that's never a good sign. Only two people left! CMs.
Unilever! If you're old, they'll help your hair. Proage!
We're back! Whoa! Not the cleanest of starts. Log Grip. D'oh! His son is very confused. Log Grip masaka retire!
Man, this first stage is a KILLER. Well, at least he can always practice at Muscle Park. Note that the first stage is the part that people rarely put together some elaborate course for (aside from Bunpei). Nor are you able to practice for it at Muscle Park.
100 - Nagano Makoto! The pressure is on him! He carries the weight of the All-Stars on his shoulders. Can he do it! He's off! Steps. Log Grip. Pole Maze. Jumping Spider coming up. No problem. Half-Pipe Attack. The Wall is no problem. Flying Chute coming up! CMs!
We're back! Flying Chute!
DOOOOUUUUUUSSSSSSSHHHHHHIIIIIIITTTTAAAA!!
UUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Five All-Stars. Five failures. Wow.
2nd Stage.
80 seconds to complete. There's one new area, the Skywalk.
Yamada is up first. Diving Jump is no problem. Salmon Ladder. CMs.
KUNOICHI only had four make the Second Stage and only one person made it to the Third Stage. Will anyone even make the Third Stage this time?
We're back. Uh oh. OKAY! Back on track. Last step of the ladder. Time is running out! Masaka Yamada! The time is going red! TIME-UP! His children are suitably shocked. One misplacement of the bar just threw off his rhythm.
And then there was one.
Motor-cross rider Yuji is last. Here he goes! He's up to the Salmon Ladder. He carries everyone's hopes on his shoulders. He's up to the last step! No! One more try. No! Time is running out! He has to go for it! NO!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.
98 victims in the first stage, including all five All-Stars, the American Ninjas and Paul ANTHONY Terek.
2 victims in the second stage, both to the Salmon Ladder.
The course, quite frankly, kicked everyone in the head.
Good.
This is what the Spring SASUKE should have been like. The course should have been too hard (as opposed to too dangerous). Enough people reached the 2nd and 3rd stages to give everyone (the competitors and the fans) a kind of false hope that reaching the final was not that far away. This brings everyone (including the All-Stars) back down to earth. Will some people get discouraged? Of course they will. But those who really want to compete will come back with more fire next time. That should make the next competition very very interesting to watch.
Oh, and in the long run the Ninja Warrior guys did not do all that bad considering the overall rate of success and it would be a shame if G4 didn't give them another crack at it.
See everyone for the next competition!
It's the Shin-SASUKE Fall 2007 sort of live blog! What did we learn from the last two live blogs I did? One lesson is that I need to do a bit more research before the blog because it was hell trying to figure out what was what. We've got a bit of inside info from the Bengoshi SASUKE~! so I have some idea of how the first stage is laid out. Hope you don't get edited out Bengoshi! Oh, and the other lesson I learned is don't hold down the shift button too long or stuff will happen to your keyboard.
Here we go!
Y'know, TBS gives a lot away during the opening credits. Way to build suspense guys.
No race this year. Perhaps it took too long? First Ninja Warriors sighting! Paul ANTHONY Terek! Nagasaki brothers!
Version up!
1 - Suidokyoku (Water Works) guy! He's stretching! The Sextuple Steps is back because apparently too many people got hurt on the Rope Glider. Log Grip and Pole Maze are no problem. Jumping Spider is!
2 - Yamashita something something! He can tear a comic book! And not one of those twenty page American ones. It doesn't help! He falls on the Log Grip.
6 - He's from Ghana! He's a model! Log Grip! No! He falls Ghanian butt first into the water.
8 - The son of a Yokozuna! Kitano something or other. I'm bad with the names this year. Log Grip! Your father should disown you!!!!
9 - Choshu Korikki! His number is falling off. He takes a GIANT fall off the steps into the water! Let's see that again.
Next guy has no number. He's some sort of doctor? He's got nurse supporters! Log Grip! Okay! Pole Maze! No! The pole hit a bar and he went flying off!
Next guy is a weight lifter! He smashes an apple! IT DOESN'T HELP! He falls into the water.
Next up is a female beach football player! She's 30 (her age, not number). Steps are okay! Log Grip is up next! FUMBLE! Or she fell off. Take your pick.
Capoeira (or however you spell it) guy! NO! He lets down all his students! He then dances himself into the mud. He was number 27 btw.
Next up! Lance Tapend! Or whatever! He teaches at an international school! He's got students there. That's never a good sign. Up to the Pole Maze! Some problems but he's through. Jumping Spider! Airball! He got up into the air but never connected. His students are shocked! But no crying. Darn. He was number 28.
Digest time! A masked wrestler, female futsal player, comedian, some guy named TATSUJI! and some other guy hit the water. The wrestler was Flying Kid something something.
30 is the Guitar Samurai! Yamaguchi-ken represent! Steps are okay! Log Grip! And much like Abe Shinzo, he lets Yamaguchi down.
We skip ahead annnnnnnd...
42 is the BENGOSHI SASUKE! He's wearing a suit! And has a sign! He's off! Log Grip...no problem! Pole Maze! OKAY! Jumping Spider....he's up..NO!. Good try though Lenny! Give us more inside info next time!
Next is that really creepy guy that makes the models. He usually goes a step and then falls! PERSONAL BEST! He makes it two steps before hitting the water.
OCTOPUS GUY! Heh, there's an octopus waiting for him on the red button. He here goes! We have 115 seconds for the first stage by the way. Steps! OK! Log Grip! OK! Pole Maze coming up. WHOA! WAIT! He's still on the pole. He's trying to go back to get his balance. OK! One more try? He's trying to get his balance. Cut to the last ten seconds and he's still on the pole. Time up! The octopus is lonely.
Next is the glider guy (where are the numbers?). He's stuck between the last two steps! He tries to jump for it! NO! Heh. Some dude in a red shirt thinks that was HILARIOUS.
More digest time!
Some guy, a trucker, some comedian, a guy wearing a gymnastics uniform all strike out.
43 - Minami Yoshihiro! He's a stunt man! He's been on Mito Komon! Steps and Log Grip are no problem! Pole Maze! OKAY! Jumping Spider....whoa! He was stuck and then bounced back and flipped on the platform! SASUGA ACTION HAIYU! He's the first to the new area! The Half-Pipe Attack! NO! So the Half-Pipe Attack is a curved wall off which you must jump and grab a rope. He didn't quite have his footing.
The veterans are a bit concerned.
47 - Is Matsuda something or other! He qualified via Muscle Park! Man, I need to go there. He has a sash! Steps and Log Grip are no problem. Pole Maze up. OK! Jumping Spider. He takes a breath. Yes! He's through. Half-Pipe...He's got the rope! NO!
Darn. He had potential.
48 - He...umm..he's having wardrobe problems. He can't get his pants over his shoes! He's going for it anyway! First step and no! He still has his pants around his ankles as he comes out of the water. Let's see that again! Wow, lesson to be learned by everyone. Wear a costume that comes off easily. That'll be hard to live down at the office. Hey, someone else was in the water too? Heh. A camera man wiped out as it was happening. Someone at TBS has a sense of humour as a kind of Benny Hill music is playing in the background.
As he walks away his pants are still around his ankles.
Fifty have tried! Fifty have failed!
51 - Is G4 Ninja Warrior Bret Simms! He practiced with the All-Stars at Shiratori's place! CMs.
We're back!
Steps and Log Grip are no problem. Pole Maze! OK! Jumping Spider! Here he goes! He's UP!
Ninja WARRRRIOR!
He couldn't keep his grip.
OH MY GOD!
His free G4 t-shirt got wet! But he really enjoyed it!
55 - Misaki something! He's a teacher. His students have been on SASUKE JUNIOR! He's off. Steps. Log Grip. Pole Maze. Jumping Spider. He had some trouble with this in his video. Here he goes! HEAD FIRST INTO THE WATER! Way to go, teach!
Next up is reaction geinojin Degawa! He gets the spray from Mister SASUKE! That's an automatic fail. LOG GRIP! NO! Why'd he take his shirt off before that? He wasn't very serious about the whole thing.
57 - He's a university student who wants to be a pro boxer! Steps, Log Grip and Pole Maze are no problem! Jumping Spider! Yes! He has potential. Can he do it? Half Pipe! Yes! He's up to the Wall! First chance! Yes! Flying Chute! Yes! Tobimashita! Time is precious though! D'oh! CMs.
Rich donuts! So where do the poor donuts go?
Suzy and Mark? Huh?
We're back! Jikan ga nai! Rope Ladder! Will he be...NO! TIME-UP!
The All-Stars are worried!
0 for 70!
71 - He's 15! He'll be the coolest kid in school if he makes it! Man, where do people find the space and time to make the obstacles in their homes? Steps and Log Grip are okay! Pole Maze! He's stuck! He can't get it! He's too light I think. Wait! Okay! He either doesn't have the strength or the weight to move the bar. Finally! Jumping Spider! Yes! Can he do it? It will be close. Half-Pipppp...He slips!
77 - Nagasaki Takamasa! Will he be the first! He says he'll be the first like last time! Steps and Log Grip are no problem! Pole Maze! Jumping Spider! Sugoi speed! Half- Pipe Attack is no problem! He's up to the wall but then I get a commercial for 7-11!
We're back! First chance..no! Second. No! Third! Yes! Flying Chute! NO!!!!!!!! He missed the rope! I guess he was wrong. Nagasaki brothers! Shunsuke is worried.
79 - 3% body fat Yamada Koji! Steps and Log Grip are no problem. Pole Maze! OK! Jumping Spider! YES! Orange pants! Half-Pipe Attack! NO PROBLEM! The Wall is up! First try! Flying Chute! YES! WAIT! He can't reach the ladder! YES HE DOES! IS HE GOING TO DO IT! 18 seconds left. Rope ladder! Ten seconds! YES! With four seconds left! After 79 people we get our first through!
The rope must be a bit farther away from the ladder on the Flying Chute or something.
81 - Our first All-Star! Yamamoto Shingo! Steps and Log Grip are no problem. Pole Maze! Whoa! Abunai! He takes a second chance at it. He's through. Jumping Spider. Yes! NO! He got into the space and then couldn't hold it.
Yamamoto Shingo masaka!
82 - Our next All-Star! Shiratori Bunpei! He builds! He's added a Salmon Ladder to his set. Nagano gives him encouragement! 1 for 81 so far! Here he goes! Steps, Log Grip are okay! Some problem with the Pole Maze but he's through. Jumping Spider! YES! Half-Pipe Attack! Yes! Here come the Wall! No! Once more! No! Less than 30 seconds! He looks tired! Yes! He's got it but he's tired! Time is running out! Flying Chute! Time UP! Just as he hits the rope! Oy vey.
The All-Stars are worried.
He drops himself into the water.
84 - Takahashi Kenji! He reached the third stage last time. As I said then, he's unhandsome. I'm no model but...anyway, Steps and Log Grip are okay! Pole Maze! OKAY! Jumping Spider! Ye..NO! His left leg wasn't up in time. You have to get your body just right.
More people don't make it. Four to be exact.
86 - Motor-cross rider Washimi Yuuji! He didn't get past the Salmon Ladder last time. It's time for revenge! Steps and Log Grip are no problem. Pole Maze...OK. Jumping Spider! OK! Half-Pipe Attack! OK! A kyu rider! Wall! FIRST TRY! Lots of time left! Flying Chute! YES! Can he make it two? Rope Ladder! He's up! Time is going red! YES! 3.2 seconds left! WE HAVE TWO!
87 - American's Colin Bell! The G4 winner! Steps are fine! Log Grip and Pole Maze no problem! Jumping Spider!
NINJA WARRIOR!
COLIN BEEEEEEEEERU!
Wow, I think the G4 Ninja Warrior forum members will not be very happy.
I wish I could have practiced the Jumping Spider more!
91 - Here we go! Mister SASUKE! Yamada Katsumi! Jinsei SASUKE!
Before he starts let us re-live his recent past failures.
Only two of the ninety. Can he do it? If he falls on the steps I don't know if I'll be able to complete this live blog.
Here he goes! Whoa! He did stumble a bit there. Log Grip! CMs.
September 23rd. Doors! It's a kind of obstacle course for geinojin. I believe they are in teams of four? Anyway, it's not nearly as phsyically taxing as SASUKE.
We're back! First two obstacles again. Pole Maze! Problems! He has to try again. He's limping! Second try. He's stuck! Time is running out! He's smiling! At HIS OWN FAILURE! Twenty seconds left and he's finally on to the Jumping Spider.
YAMADA KATSUMIIIIIIII! That wasn't quite as satisfying since you knew he wasn't going to finish the first stage anyway. That was, I have to say, a new low point in the career of Mister SASUKE.
Three All-Stars! Three failures!
Takeda! You're up! He's been practicing the Salmon Ladder.
96 - Takeda! He's off! He's got rhythmic clapping! Steps, Log Grip no problem! The Pole Maze! He takes two tries to get it. Jumping SPIDER! Tonda! Tonda! His pants are orange! Half-Pipe Attack! Clear! The wall! NO! Second time. NO! Third! NO! Saigo no chance! NO! Twenty seconds! He's got it! But the time has gone red!
MASAKA! Wow.
Four All-Stars! Four failures.
What's going on?
97 - Nagasaki Shunsuke! Steps! Okay. His brother is looking on! Log Grip and Pole Maze are no problems. Jumping Spider! The crowd ooohs! Sasuga trampoline players! Half-Pipe Attack! No problem. Wall is no problem! Flying Chute! Whoa! Abunai!
NANDE!
Wow. Again.
CMs. Freedom-project.jp
We're back. He missed the rope ladder to climb down. Wow. And we thought KUNOICHI was hard this year.
Nagasaki Brothers fall victim to the Flying Chute.
97 participants. 2 have cleared.
98 - PAUL! ANTHONY! TEREK! He's your Sportsman No. 1 in case you didn't know. He's off! King of Athletes! Pole Maze is NO PROBLEM! Cool. Jumping Spider! AHHHHHHHHH!
His foot slipped. His left foot didn't land cleanly and it cost him.
99 - Sato Hiromichi. He's the host of Muscle Channel. His son is there. As we all know, that's never a good sign. Only two people left! CMs.
Unilever! If you're old, they'll help your hair. Proage!
We're back! Whoa! Not the cleanest of starts. Log Grip. D'oh! His son is very confused. Log Grip masaka retire!
Man, this first stage is a KILLER. Well, at least he can always practice at Muscle Park. Note that the first stage is the part that people rarely put together some elaborate course for (aside from Bunpei). Nor are you able to practice for it at Muscle Park.
100 - Nagano Makoto! The pressure is on him! He carries the weight of the All-Stars on his shoulders. Can he do it! He's off! Steps. Log Grip. Pole Maze. Jumping Spider coming up. No problem. Half-Pipe Attack. The Wall is no problem. Flying Chute coming up! CMs!
We're back! Flying Chute!
DOOOOUUUUUUSSSSSSSHHHHHHIIIIIIITTTTAAAA!!
UUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Five All-Stars. Five failures. Wow.
2nd Stage.
80 seconds to complete. There's one new area, the Skywalk.
Yamada is up first. Diving Jump is no problem. Salmon Ladder. CMs.
KUNOICHI only had four make the Second Stage and only one person made it to the Third Stage. Will anyone even make the Third Stage this time?
We're back. Uh oh. OKAY! Back on track. Last step of the ladder. Time is running out! Masaka Yamada! The time is going red! TIME-UP! His children are suitably shocked. One misplacement of the bar just threw off his rhythm.
And then there was one.
Motor-cross rider Yuji is last. Here he goes! He's up to the Salmon Ladder. He carries everyone's hopes on his shoulders. He's up to the last step! No! One more try. No! Time is running out! He has to go for it! NO!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.
98 victims in the first stage, including all five All-Stars, the American Ninjas and Paul ANTHONY Terek.
2 victims in the second stage, both to the Salmon Ladder.
The course, quite frankly, kicked everyone in the head.
Good.
This is what the Spring SASUKE should have been like. The course should have been too hard (as opposed to too dangerous). Enough people reached the 2nd and 3rd stages to give everyone (the competitors and the fans) a kind of false hope that reaching the final was not that far away. This brings everyone (including the All-Stars) back down to earth. Will some people get discouraged? Of course they will. But those who really want to compete will come back with more fire next time. That should make the next competition very very interesting to watch.
Oh, and in the long run the Ninja Warrior guys did not do all that bad considering the overall rate of success and it would be a shame if G4 didn't give them another crack at it.
See everyone for the next competition!
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
KUNOICHI 2007 Sort of live blog!
Tanaka! Mizuno! Limbo dancers! Sumo wrestlers! Gaijin! AKB48! Can Miyake make it four in a row? It's KUNOICHI 2007!
EDIT: Go to Japan Probe where they've uploaded some KUNOICHI videos!
First Stage!
90 seconds to complete.
1 - Soccer player! She's through the first few obstacles. In the second area you have to press a button before going on. Don't know what that's about. Log roll! No!
2 - Hula dancer Chakki! (Chucky?) First obstacle through. NO!
3 - Chinese acrobat! She's flexible! D'oh! She eats the dirt!
4 - Marathon runner! She's in a CM! NO! Maniauwanai!
5 - Korean comedian is the first to wipe out on the first obstacle.
10 - some actress as some people don't get their day in the sun.
Ohhhhhhhh...you have to press the button to set off the sort of Log Grip obstacle and cross in time to grab it.
11 - Female football player. NO! Perhaps ditch the uniform next time. She's a footballer!
Four random ladies wipe out.
14 - Our first race queen! Nope! Cameramen prepare for your wet t-shirt shot!
I haven't watched Kunoichi in a while. Has it always looked like a recycled SASUKE course?
18 - She's a surfer! Oh wait, charisma model. Hmmm..if you're fast enough you don't have to use the spring board. Four more ladies get the shaf..er..yeah.
19 - Ummm...52 year old limbo dancer. And she can't get past the first obstacle. That's...um..
20 - Maid wipes out.
21 - Oh my..Female sumo wrestler Satake Hiromi. She's wiped out on the first obstacle before. Can she do it?!?! She's going veeeeeery slowly...NO!
Can we say she made a big splash?
No number rock climber is next! NO! Wait, she's number 26 which means we skipped five.
28 - Jietai member! Can she bring glory to the SDF?! Chotto osoi! Hashire! AHHH!
In theory, I guess you could TRY to jump across.
29 - Lori Christensen! She's with the military! Here she goes! NO! Thus goes the war on terror.
30 - Another Muscle Musical member! She's almost finished the first stage three times, reaching the final climb but never getting there in time! Can she do it! NO! She didn't get as close as the button. Miyake is nervous!
Five ladies, including two members of AKB48 get their day in the sun..or water as the case may be.
37 - Sakamoto Mariko! She has a sister? She makes it past the first two. There is clapping for her! Bridge is no problem! Barrel ro..NO!
40 - Ozawa Misaki steals Miyake's old look with the pink hair! She keeps slipping but she's through! Barrel ro..NO!! Darn, it looked like she had potential.
Recap of the road of various qualifiers.
41 - She works in a cabaret club! She's wearing a tiara! She has supporters! They're well dressed...NO!
42 - Iwasaki Yumi! She's 17. She plays baseball! Speed arimasu! OUTOOOOOOOOOOO!
Next is one of her teammates (no number). A basketball player (no number). Wait. The basketball player is number 44.
YMCA qualifier! NO!
0 for 45!
Matsuri onna! Is that a full-time job?
Commercials!
It's good time! Yamaguchi Nissan!
46 - Matsuri onna the first! She's cautious! That second obstacle is taking lots of people out!
47 - Matsuri onna the second! NO!
48 - Matsuri onna the last! Go! Shoko! No! (I did not plan that).
The announcer is wearing a shirt that hurts my eyes.
Hugging! avex has an artist academy?
49 - Umeda Haruka! avex artist academy member! She's been to Muscle Park! Balan..no!
50 - Kimura Kozue! Another avex artist academy attendee! (I planned that on!) The black mat means out! Komuro is so going to fire you!
Damn that announcers shirt is making my eyes hurt.
Four more ladies wipe out. Sexy queen no!
It's the mother-daughter team! The family the trains together stays together!
No one has cleared yet! 51 is mom, 52 is the daughter.
51 - Mama-san power! Haha Yuko Iku! Haha Yuko Iku! Haha YUKO! HAHA YUKO IS STUCK IN THE BRIDGE! Barrel roll! She's slipped here before! The time is going red! She passed the barrel roll but she ran out of time.
52 - Higashi daughter! Oh, Higashi Rena. WHOA! She's through to the barrel roll. Go! AHHHHHHHH! She eats the yellow post as she missed the trampoline. And I mean she went face first into the post. There are tears of failure! Okay, it wasn't that bad in the slo-mo.
53 - Jyu-yon-sai! Oh wait. Jyu-sai. She's 10! No!
55 - Marathon runner! Umm..okay. Olympic runner goes swimming!
60 - She's a caddy! She's energetic! She's got similarly clothed supporters. That never ends well. AND IT DOESN'T! She kind of trips on the springboard.
Takeda! Nagano! SASUKE All-Stars are backstage! I feel bad for the girl that Mr. SASUKE trained.
61 - Okamoto Sayaka! She works for Yamamoto Shingo! She's cleared the first stage before. NO! Shingo isn't there but I bet he's disappointed.
62 - Takeda's protege is Oshima Keiko! Ike! Ike! Yeah, no pressure there guys. Barrel roll. Okay! NO! She does an Akiyama and missteps on the trampoline.
63 - Nagano's Kunoichi! Something Kaori. Um...it would've been better if she hadn't leaned on the springboard like that. Let's start random rumors! Perhaps she and Nagano are seeing each other!
64 - Next is Mister SASUKE's Kunoichi. Onoda Momoko! She's some kind of instructor. If she listened to his advice she'll fail. If she pretended to listen to him, she'll be fine. What is a duke's walk? Barrel roll! She's doing the best so far. Commercials. Mmmm...Kamen Rider V3 pachinko. Rider Man!
We're back! Face first into the yellow post! She must have listened to Mr. SASUKE.
The SASUKE All-Stars Kunoichis all fail!
Six more ladies find failure, with one especially cool looking elimination where she gets her foot caught in the bridge and flips all the way over.
71 - Marathon runner Tanigawa Mari! No! She made it farther than the last runner though.
76 - A gravure idol! She can do the splits! First couple obstacles! Barrel roll! She slips! And falls! And flips! Hitori backdrop!
Still no one has cleared.
77 - Pro-surfer Kitagawa! She's tan. She's cleared the first stage before. Hayai! She slips on the bridge! Mada daijoubu! NO! She rips off part of the bridge for good measure.
80 - Komiya Rie! She's reached the final before but couldn't get it. She's off! No problems so far. Sasuga Komiya! Barrel roll. OK! Oof! Will she be the first! She hits the yellow post but holds on. CMs.
We're back. She's through! Angled walls! Rope ladder! Lots of time left! Button! She's the first to clear the first stage! The crowd cheers!
81 - Shape-Up Girls! Nakajima! No! She slips!
82 - Another former finalist! Mori Yoko! She's off! NO! She couldn't get her footing! Sugoi shock!
86 - Arm-wrestler Kawamura Mika! She's off! She's a world-champion arm-wrestler. No problems thus far. Barrel roll! OK! Face first into the yellow post! Mean yellow post! Unforgiving yellow post!
87 - Yamamoto Satomi! She's a pro-golfer! Balance wa ii! We get an...interesting shot when she's on the bridge. Barrel roll! So far so good! THE UNFORGIVING YELLOW POST STRIKES AGAIN! I'll just say that 2chers will probably have some nice pictures later.
88 - Another Muscle Musical member. There are many Muscle Musical members. NO! There is one less Muscle Musical member.
90 - Abe Asami! She's a gyaru! Sonene and Amimi VTR her luck! First obstacle wipe out! Natsumi isn't there but I bet she's sad.
I think they must have given out numbers but not everyone made it.
91 - Tanaka Maho is next! She reached the final last time! She's off! No problems so far. Unforgiving Yellow Post is forgiving. Angled wall! Rope ladder! Machigainai! No problems whatsoever.
92 - Nishimura Chie! She's the only woman to have cleared the first stage of SASUKE and judging from the clips she did it with verve. She was a stuntwoman I believe. No problems so far. Her family is here! Barrel roll is iffy but she's through! Unfo..yeah, she's through. Angled wall. Akai button ni! Rope ladder! Time to spare!
93 - Pro-surfer Taniguchi Erina! Hayai! Bridge! NO! She eats wall.
96 - Olympic canoer! NO! Her daughter is sad.
Reaching the climax!
97 - Takeuchi Asami! She's an aerobics instructor and one of those people you see on ESPN early in the morning doing that competitive aerobics stuff. Which doesn't help!
Mizuno Yuko is worried. Last san-nin!
98 - Mizuno Yuko! She's like Mr. SASUKE. She's had early success with Kunoichi but she's stunk up the joint since. She's the Geinokai No. 1 Athlete. So far so good! Unlike Mr. SASUKE, I don't have any hate in my heart for Yuko. Commercials!
We're back! Barrel roll is OK! UNFORGIVING YELLOW POST IS UNFORGIVING AND YELLOW YET AGAIN!
99 is Diana Pickler! SHE HOPES TO BE NUMBER FOUR! She's trying to follow in the footsteps of Paul ANTHONY Terek I guess. NO! WAIT! No no. She slipped on the post but held on and tried to climb back up but couldn't.
It was harder than I thought!
100 - Ayako Miyake! Can she do it once again? Miss Perfect! If Curt Henning were still alive he'd sue! Here she goes! Whooo...a little misstep there. First few obstacles no problem! Rope ladder climb and...no problem! Time to spare!
And then there were four!
Second Stage!
Aside from Miyake, two of the others have reached the final stage before.
Komiya Rie is up first. They have 65 seconds. Speed is the key! No! She can't reach the platform from the ladder!
The ladder swings a bit so I think they'll have to do a slight swing towards the platform to make it.
There's no crying in basebal..oh wait.
Let us relive her shame again. They have to fill the two hours somehow with only four people making the next stage.
Smoke makes everything look mysterious!
Snowboarder and prior competition finalist Tanaka Maho is up next! Here we go! Slide is no problem. Balls and log are no problem. Ladder climb is up next...can she do it? Okay! Seventeen seconds left. Last pole to cross! A moment to set herself...and...no problem. And not with much time to spare! About 3.8 seconds left when she hits the button.
Nishimura Chie is up next! She's a mom! Her family is there! Small children...wonder if they'll be crying? I'm mean, I know. Nothing more soothing than a child's tears! Here we go! She's through the first three! Trying the ladder. No problem! Pole cross...First okay! Second okay! Third...the clock is going red! And...oh...commercials. Fuwa fuwa!
We're back...She slips a bit on the last pole! It costs her! TIME UP!!! Gomen ne..
I think she was too cautious at the beginning and it cost her. Her children are strangely unaffected by her failure.
Is it me or does Miyake seem...a bit spaced out most of the time?
Miyake is off! She has the support of the Muscle Musical members! All the way to the pole cross! No problems so far! Last pole! The time is going red! Jikan! Commercials! King Kaz has a car!
We're back! Last pole! Jikan ga nai! Jikan ga nai!
MIYAKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
................................
Miyake Ayako takes her first dip in the water since 2004.
Everyone is shocked. Kuyashi....
Her right hand missed the vertical pole and that was all she wrote.
Not to detract from the shock of Miyake falling but they still have about fifteen minutes left to fill and only one competitor left.
Third Stage!
Here she goes! No time limit in this stage. First obstacle. She has to jump from small platform to platform. First two. Third! One foot misses but she's safe. Going for the fourth. It's a bigger jump than the others. She's taking her time and getting herself ready. She's through!
Next obstacle. They've added some rounded steps to the end of the domino walk thing. More commercials.
Here we go...She's through the blue. Green..yellow..NOOOOOOOO! Ato yon mai!
Perhaps the pressure got to her? She says she was a bit nervous. The mood is a bit...well, when you realize that the last three competitions ended with Miyake finishing the course this is a bit of a let down. Will this lead to an earlier KUNOICHI? One can only hope!
As the credits roll we take a look at the Final Stage.
As we go we get our first official commercial for the next SASUKE!
See everyone in two weeks!
EDIT: Go to Japan Probe where they've uploaded some KUNOICHI videos!
First Stage!
90 seconds to complete.
1 - Soccer player! She's through the first few obstacles. In the second area you have to press a button before going on. Don't know what that's about. Log roll! No!
2 - Hula dancer Chakki! (Chucky?) First obstacle through. NO!
3 - Chinese acrobat! She's flexible! D'oh! She eats the dirt!
4 - Marathon runner! She's in a CM! NO! Maniauwanai!
5 - Korean comedian is the first to wipe out on the first obstacle.
10 - some actress as some people don't get their day in the sun.
Ohhhhhhhh...you have to press the button to set off the sort of Log Grip obstacle and cross in time to grab it.
11 - Female football player. NO! Perhaps ditch the uniform next time. She's a footballer!
Four random ladies wipe out.
14 - Our first race queen! Nope! Cameramen prepare for your wet t-shirt shot!
I haven't watched Kunoichi in a while. Has it always looked like a recycled SASUKE course?
18 - She's a surfer! Oh wait, charisma model. Hmmm..if you're fast enough you don't have to use the spring board. Four more ladies get the shaf..er..yeah.
19 - Ummm...52 year old limbo dancer. And she can't get past the first obstacle. That's...um..
20 - Maid wipes out.
21 - Oh my..Female sumo wrestler Satake Hiromi. She's wiped out on the first obstacle before. Can she do it?!?! She's going veeeeeery slowly...NO!
Can we say she made a big splash?
No number rock climber is next! NO! Wait, she's number 26 which means we skipped five.
28 - Jietai member! Can she bring glory to the SDF?! Chotto osoi! Hashire! AHHH!
In theory, I guess you could TRY to jump across.
29 - Lori Christensen! She's with the military! Here she goes! NO! Thus goes the war on terror.
30 - Another Muscle Musical member! She's almost finished the first stage three times, reaching the final climb but never getting there in time! Can she do it! NO! She didn't get as close as the button. Miyake is nervous!
Five ladies, including two members of AKB48 get their day in the sun..or water as the case may be.
37 - Sakamoto Mariko! She has a sister? She makes it past the first two. There is clapping for her! Bridge is no problem! Barrel ro..NO!
40 - Ozawa Misaki steals Miyake's old look with the pink hair! She keeps slipping but she's through! Barrel ro..NO!! Darn, it looked like she had potential.
Recap of the road of various qualifiers.
41 - She works in a cabaret club! She's wearing a tiara! She has supporters! They're well dressed...NO!
42 - Iwasaki Yumi! She's 17. She plays baseball! Speed arimasu! OUTOOOOOOOOOOO!
Next is one of her teammates (no number). A basketball player (no number). Wait. The basketball player is number 44.
YMCA qualifier! NO!
0 for 45!
Matsuri onna! Is that a full-time job?
Commercials!
It's good time! Yamaguchi Nissan!
46 - Matsuri onna the first! She's cautious! That second obstacle is taking lots of people out!
47 - Matsuri onna the second! NO!
48 - Matsuri onna the last! Go! Shoko! No! (I did not plan that).
The announcer is wearing a shirt that hurts my eyes.
Hugging! avex has an artist academy?
49 - Umeda Haruka! avex artist academy member! She's been to Muscle Park! Balan..no!
50 - Kimura Kozue! Another avex artist academy attendee! (I planned that on!) The black mat means out! Komuro is so going to fire you!
Damn that announcers shirt is making my eyes hurt.
Four more ladies wipe out. Sexy queen no!
It's the mother-daughter team! The family the trains together stays together!
No one has cleared yet! 51 is mom, 52 is the daughter.
51 - Mama-san power! Haha Yuko Iku! Haha Yuko Iku! Haha YUKO! HAHA YUKO IS STUCK IN THE BRIDGE! Barrel roll! She's slipped here before! The time is going red! She passed the barrel roll but she ran out of time.
52 - Higashi daughter! Oh, Higashi Rena. WHOA! She's through to the barrel roll. Go! AHHHHHHHH! She eats the yellow post as she missed the trampoline. And I mean she went face first into the post. There are tears of failure! Okay, it wasn't that bad in the slo-mo.
53 - Jyu-yon-sai! Oh wait. Jyu-sai. She's 10! No!
55 - Marathon runner! Umm..okay. Olympic runner goes swimming!
60 - She's a caddy! She's energetic! She's got similarly clothed supporters. That never ends well. AND IT DOESN'T! She kind of trips on the springboard.
Takeda! Nagano! SASUKE All-Stars are backstage! I feel bad for the girl that Mr. SASUKE trained.
61 - Okamoto Sayaka! She works for Yamamoto Shingo! She's cleared the first stage before. NO! Shingo isn't there but I bet he's disappointed.
62 - Takeda's protege is Oshima Keiko! Ike! Ike! Yeah, no pressure there guys. Barrel roll. Okay! NO! She does an Akiyama and missteps on the trampoline.
63 - Nagano's Kunoichi! Something Kaori. Um...it would've been better if she hadn't leaned on the springboard like that. Let's start random rumors! Perhaps she and Nagano are seeing each other!
64 - Next is Mister SASUKE's Kunoichi. Onoda Momoko! She's some kind of instructor. If she listened to his advice she'll fail. If she pretended to listen to him, she'll be fine. What is a duke's walk? Barrel roll! She's doing the best so far. Commercials. Mmmm...Kamen Rider V3 pachinko. Rider Man!
We're back! Face first into the yellow post! She must have listened to Mr. SASUKE.
The SASUKE All-Stars Kunoichis all fail!
Six more ladies find failure, with one especially cool looking elimination where she gets her foot caught in the bridge and flips all the way over.
71 - Marathon runner Tanigawa Mari! No! She made it farther than the last runner though.
76 - A gravure idol! She can do the splits! First couple obstacles! Barrel roll! She slips! And falls! And flips! Hitori backdrop!
Still no one has cleared.
77 - Pro-surfer Kitagawa! She's tan. She's cleared the first stage before. Hayai! She slips on the bridge! Mada daijoubu! NO! She rips off part of the bridge for good measure.
80 - Komiya Rie! She's reached the final before but couldn't get it. She's off! No problems so far. Sasuga Komiya! Barrel roll. OK! Oof! Will she be the first! She hits the yellow post but holds on. CMs.
We're back. She's through! Angled walls! Rope ladder! Lots of time left! Button! She's the first to clear the first stage! The crowd cheers!
81 - Shape-Up Girls! Nakajima! No! She slips!
82 - Another former finalist! Mori Yoko! She's off! NO! She couldn't get her footing! Sugoi shock!
86 - Arm-wrestler Kawamura Mika! She's off! She's a world-champion arm-wrestler. No problems thus far. Barrel roll! OK! Face first into the yellow post! Mean yellow post! Unforgiving yellow post!
87 - Yamamoto Satomi! She's a pro-golfer! Balance wa ii! We get an...interesting shot when she's on the bridge. Barrel roll! So far so good! THE UNFORGIVING YELLOW POST STRIKES AGAIN! I'll just say that 2chers will probably have some nice pictures later.
88 - Another Muscle Musical member. There are many Muscle Musical members. NO! There is one less Muscle Musical member.
90 - Abe Asami! She's a gyaru! Sonene and Amimi VTR her luck! First obstacle wipe out! Natsumi isn't there but I bet she's sad.
I think they must have given out numbers but not everyone made it.
91 - Tanaka Maho is next! She reached the final last time! She's off! No problems so far. Unforgiving Yellow Post is forgiving. Angled wall! Rope ladder! Machigainai! No problems whatsoever.
92 - Nishimura Chie! She's the only woman to have cleared the first stage of SASUKE and judging from the clips she did it with verve. She was a stuntwoman I believe. No problems so far. Her family is here! Barrel roll is iffy but she's through! Unfo..yeah, she's through. Angled wall. Akai button ni! Rope ladder! Time to spare!
93 - Pro-surfer Taniguchi Erina! Hayai! Bridge! NO! She eats wall.
96 - Olympic canoer! NO! Her daughter is sad.
Reaching the climax!
97 - Takeuchi Asami! She's an aerobics instructor and one of those people you see on ESPN early in the morning doing that competitive aerobics stuff. Which doesn't help!
Mizuno Yuko is worried. Last san-nin!
98 - Mizuno Yuko! She's like Mr. SASUKE. She's had early success with Kunoichi but she's stunk up the joint since. She's the Geinokai No. 1 Athlete. So far so good! Unlike Mr. SASUKE, I don't have any hate in my heart for Yuko. Commercials!
We're back! Barrel roll is OK! UNFORGIVING YELLOW POST IS UNFORGIVING AND YELLOW YET AGAIN!
99 is Diana Pickler! SHE HOPES TO BE NUMBER FOUR! She's trying to follow in the footsteps of Paul ANTHONY Terek I guess. NO! WAIT! No no. She slipped on the post but held on and tried to climb back up but couldn't.
It was harder than I thought!
100 - Ayako Miyake! Can she do it once again? Miss Perfect! If Curt Henning were still alive he'd sue! Here she goes! Whooo...a little misstep there. First few obstacles no problem! Rope ladder climb and...no problem! Time to spare!
And then there were four!
Second Stage!
Aside from Miyake, two of the others have reached the final stage before.
Komiya Rie is up first. They have 65 seconds. Speed is the key! No! She can't reach the platform from the ladder!
The ladder swings a bit so I think they'll have to do a slight swing towards the platform to make it.
There's no crying in basebal..oh wait.
Let us relive her shame again. They have to fill the two hours somehow with only four people making the next stage.
Smoke makes everything look mysterious!
Snowboarder and prior competition finalist Tanaka Maho is up next! Here we go! Slide is no problem. Balls and log are no problem. Ladder climb is up next...can she do it? Okay! Seventeen seconds left. Last pole to cross! A moment to set herself...and...no problem. And not with much time to spare! About 3.8 seconds left when she hits the button.
Nishimura Chie is up next! She's a mom! Her family is there! Small children...wonder if they'll be crying? I'm mean, I know. Nothing more soothing than a child's tears! Here we go! She's through the first three! Trying the ladder. No problem! Pole cross...First okay! Second okay! Third...the clock is going red! And...oh...commercials. Fuwa fuwa!
We're back...She slips a bit on the last pole! It costs her! TIME UP!!! Gomen ne..
I think she was too cautious at the beginning and it cost her. Her children are strangely unaffected by her failure.
Is it me or does Miyake seem...a bit spaced out most of the time?
Miyake is off! She has the support of the Muscle Musical members! All the way to the pole cross! No problems so far! Last pole! The time is going red! Jikan! Commercials! King Kaz has a car!
We're back! Last pole! Jikan ga nai! Jikan ga nai!
MIYAKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
................................
Miyake Ayako takes her first dip in the water since 2004.
Everyone is shocked. Kuyashi....
Her right hand missed the vertical pole and that was all she wrote.
Not to detract from the shock of Miyake falling but they still have about fifteen minutes left to fill and only one competitor left.
Third Stage!
Here she goes! No time limit in this stage. First obstacle. She has to jump from small platform to platform. First two. Third! One foot misses but she's safe. Going for the fourth. It's a bigger jump than the others. She's taking her time and getting herself ready. She's through!
Next obstacle. They've added some rounded steps to the end of the domino walk thing. More commercials.
Here we go...She's through the blue. Green..yellow..NOOOOOOOO! Ato yon mai!
Perhaps the pressure got to her? She says she was a bit nervous. The mood is a bit...well, when you realize that the last three competitions ended with Miyake finishing the course this is a bit of a let down. Will this lead to an earlier KUNOICHI? One can only hope!
As the credits roll we take a look at the Final Stage.
As we go we get our first official commercial for the next SASUKE!
See everyone in two weeks!
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
新SASUKE 2007春 - 1st ステージ Shin-Sasuke Spring 2007 First Stage
I'm a bit behind but here are some (admittedly not very good) screen caps of the obstacles of the First Stage to Shin-SASUKE 2007...
1. ロープグライダー/Rope Glider
2. ロッググリップ/Log Grip
3. ポールメイズ/Pole Maze
4. ジャンピングスパイダー/Jumping Spider
5. バンジーブリッジ/Bungee Bridge
6. グレートウォール/Great Wall
7. フライングシュート/Flying Chute
8. ターザンロープ/Tarzan Rope
9. ロープラダー/Rope Ladder
You have 130 seconds!
Later stages will be put up eventually. Probably after all the obstacles have changed again.
Previously:
新SASUKE 2007春 Live Blog (With Caps Lock!)
新SASUKE 2007春! On! Tonight!
Attention SASUKE Lovers! (With Mister SASUKE hate!)
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
新 SASUKE 2007 春! The Sort of Live Blog! An account of a guy in Japan watching SASUKE/Ninja Warrior as it plays out on TV!
Rather than do this live blog in terms of time, I will be doing this blog first by stage then by contestant number with comments in between. I'll go beginning at the top and end at the bottom. I'll probably update during the commercial breaks.
Danger, Will Robinson! Everything from here on in will be spoilers for people watching SASUKE anywhere other than Japan.
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER
Here we go!
Whoa, there is a race for the numbers! 1200 meters to get to the numbers. Some guy from his university's barbell club (?) is in the lead.
Random white guy sighting! It's the soldier from the G4 promo.
Ooops, barbell boy falls behind. Choshu Korikki is participating. He's almost dead last.
The first people grab numbers!
Shunsuke Nagasaki grabs a number.
Mister Sasuke gets 73.
Nagano gets 96.
Korikki gets 9.
Damn that was confusing.
A quick preview of the new course. Holy crap that looks hard.
1. A pro snowboarder is our first contestant. And he wipes out on the first obstacle! You have to ride a rope to a pontoon like thing. He overshot.
2. A comedian (Black Mayonaise)! He's short!
3. A Korean Comedienne. She's off and didn't get off the platform! She didn't hold on to the rope.
4. Aoki, the weird sculptor guy! He overshoots too!
9. Is Choshu Korikki. Did they skip some people? He's off! But his foot catches the water! He's not out! He's the first to make it to the second obstacle! The Log Grip! But he can't hold on!
10. The squid guy! Kuramochi? He's off and he can't keep his balance!
12. Nomura Masaki! He gets through the first part but can't hold on to the Log Grip!
13. Hang Glider guy! He can't hit the pontoon and goes face first into the water!
15. Weightlifter guy! Don't know him. He hits the first safely. (Rope Glider). He can't hold on to the Log Grip!
They skip some people who can't get through the Rope Glider and Log Grip.
20. Some guy with a nice body. He hits the first. The Log Grip! He's clear! The next up is the Pole Maze! He gets the first but can't hit the second! Well, he's the farthest so far.
21. A guy from Tokushima. He's got fans! He looks confident! Rope Glider no problem. Log Grip is scary but he's through. Pole Maze..NO!!!!
Man, this is hard with the new obstacles.
24. A 22 year old..University baseball player? Go team! Rope Glider! Yes! Log Grip! Yes! Pole Maze! Whoa! Yes! Yes! Jumping Spider! Noooooooooooooo!
Jumping Spider is the 2007 Jump Hang. Mister SASUKE sighting!
More flame outs. About four people don't get their full moment in the sun.
26. Lee Enchi! The Taiwanese rock climber! He's our first true hope to get through the first stage. Rope Glider! Yes! Log Grip! Yes! Pole Maze! Yes and....Whoa! Yes! Jumping Spider! Can he do it? NOOOOOOOOO!
Umm..Yeah it's harder than last year reporter lady.
28. A female MMA fighter! She overshoots!
30. Kampei! Can he do it? Doh...our first commercial break. My hands are getting tired.
So we have Rope Glider, Log Grip, Pole Maze and Jumping Spider.
We're back!
30. Is Kazama Kampei! Rope Glider! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Timing and balance are the key!
33. Athen Olympic Silver medalist cyclist! He's off! Rope Glider! Yes! Log Grip! No!!
34. Johns Jacap? An American living in Japan! He's through Rope Glider. Log Grip? No problem! Pole Maze! Yes! Jumping Spider! NO! His family is now sad.
36. Master of something! He almost wipes out on Rope Glider but gets through. But the Log Grip is his nemesis!
More clips of people who can't make it. Eigo no sensei!!!
39. TV actor guy! Ishimaru Kenjiro! He falls on his back on the Rope Glider and hits the water! Oshiiiii!
40. Guitar Samurai! Hatta Yoku! Yamaguchi-ken represent! His journey is cut short by a commercial! Here we go! No! Zannen! Rope Glider! Zannen!
Oops. One of the qualifier guys from last year! Rope Glider! Yes! Log Grip! Yes! Pole Maze! Yes! Jumping Spider! NOO! The END!
45. Yamashita Shinji! Rope Glider! Yes! Log Grip! Slowly...Yes! Pole Maze! Yes! Jumping Spider! He makes the jump! Bungee Bridge! He's from Hokkaido! Yes! Great Wall! First chance! No! Second! No! Third! No! He can't grab the rope! Time Up!
More guys wipe out! Masked Wrestler guy! NO!!!
48. Sports Instructor! Suzuki Naohiro! His try-out video! Kids are there! To be sad! Rope Glider! Whoa! Yes! Log Grip! Don't rush it! Yes! Pole Maze! Clear! Jumping Spider! He makes it! Bungee Bridge! Yes! Great Wall! Get that rope boy! No! Catches his breath. YES! First through the Great Wall! China is sad. Flying Shoot! Yes! Tarzan Rope! CM! Dammit.
So Rope Glider, Log Grip, Pole Maze, Jumping Spider, Bungee Bridge, Great Wall, Flying Shoot and Tarzan Rope.
We're back! Only ten seconds! Come on! NOOOOOOOO! Time UP! Children are sad! Told ya.
The SASUKE ALL-STARS! Look worried!
The first miss on the Great Wall may have cost him too much time.
So far, 48 and no one has cleared.
More failures. No bonus for you Salaryman!
52. Another Salaryman with a high opinion of himself. Rope Glider! Yes! Log Grip! Feel up that log! Pole Maze! He didn't hold on to the pole! No bonus for you!
54. A Cappoeira instructor. More children to be sad. Rope Glider. OK! Log Grip! No problem! Pole Maze! He's taking too long. It may cost him. As will that flip. Jumping Spider! He can't make the jump that counts!
More children are sad. SASUKE prepares kids for the real world!
56. Zoo guy! He has lots of free time at work! Rope Glider! It's night now. Log Grip! OK! Pole Maze and Jumping Spider are no problem! Bungee Bridge. OUCH! Ochimasen! Great Wall! No! Great Wall! China is sad. Flying Shoot! He needs to hurry. Thirty seconds left! OK! Tarzan Rope! Hurry up! Fourteen seconds. The alarm is going off. Hurry! NO! Time up! Children are sad sad sad.
60. Nagasaki Shunsuke's younger brother! Did he teach him the keys to success! Rope Glider! OK! Log Grip! It's a legacy! Pole Maze! Hayai! Jumping Spider! Sasuga trampoline star! Bungee Bridge. Nagasaki Brothers! Great Wall! China is VERY sad! He got it on the first try. Flying Shoot! Yes! Man, if you miss that you go flying. Tarzan Rope! Will he be the first! Thirty seconds left! He climbs! YES! With exactly 16 seconds left! THE FIRST!
Our first SASUKE All-Star!
61. Yamamoto Shingo! Does he have the gas to do it! HAHAHA! I kill me. Rope Glider! OK! Log Grip! Yes! Pole Maze! Safe! We can hear the others cheering him on. Jumping Spider! Yes! All-Stars! All-Stars! Bungee Bridge! OK! Great Wall! China is not sad! Wait! China IS sad! Flying Shoot! Yes! Go...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
He missed the net. He needs to clean his uniform!
More people wipe out.
70. Moto cross rider! Something Yuuji! A-kyu license! Rope Glider! OK! Log Grip! OK! Pole Maze! Yes!
Jumping Spider! Yes! Bungee Bridge! OK! Great Wall! China! Is! Sad! Flying Shoot up next. His crotch is on TV! Yes! Tarzan Rope! San jyu byo! Clap! Clap! Clap! Ten! Nine! Yes! 9.3 seconds left! Two are through!
2 out of 70!
72. Kawashima Takayuki! Trampoline guy! He has red hair. Rope Glider! OK! Log Grip! OK! Pole Maze! OY! He almost touches the water! But he's through. Jumping Spider! OK! But will he have enough time! Bungee Bridge trips him up but he's okay. Great Wall! He trips! Not his brightest mmoent. Is he tiring? China claims another victim.
73. HERE WE GO! Mister SASUKE! He's wearing NINJA BOOTS! Will they help! Can he do it? Yamada Katsumi! You're up on deck! Honestly, there's no shame in failing the first stage now because it's brand new. Not that I won't be pleased if he can't do it. OH BOY!
Rope Glider! Dammit! Yes!
Log Grip! YA-MA-DA! YA-MA-DA! No! I mean Yes!
Pole Maze! Oy vey! He's through!
Jumping Spider! There is no GOD! He's through.
Bungee Bridge. He's through!
Great Wall! DAMN YOU WALL! DAMN YOU! BE HIGHER NEXT TIME!
A commercial break enables me to calm down.
Although..hmm...Do I hate KimuTaku more than Mister SASUKE! Only a thorough thrashing of both will give me the answer.
WE'RE BACK! I'M IN ALL CAPS!
We have to relive Jumping Spider and Bungee Bridge.
Great Wall! He's *sigh* through.
Flying Shoot! Okay...is there enough time!
Tarzan Rope! Is time a factor! TIME! TIME UP! TIME UP! TIME UP! TIME UP! TIME UP! TIME UP!
Whew.
Ha! Stare at the button! Stare at it!
77. Crazy! Japanese! Military! Guy! If he gets through he'll be my favorite FOREVER.
Rope Glider! OK! Log Grip! NO! YOU'VE LET YOUR COUNTRY DOWN BOY! Lucky sevens mean beans!
78. Sato Hiromichi! NHK exercise program guy! Oh good, children. Commecial break! We're back. Rope Glider! OK! Log Grip! Whoa! OK! Pole Maze! OK! Jumping Spider! Tondaaa! Bungee Bridge! Through! Great Wall! China is..ah, you know. Flying Shoot. Damn, I want to see someone completely miss. AND HE DOES! SORRY ABOUT THAT!
(#! BOBBY NO OTOUTO! ROPE GLIDER! NO!
OK< I SCREWED UP MY KEYBOARD! ALL CAPS FOR RIGHT NOW!
MORE GUYS WIPE OUT!
TAKEDA TOSHIHIRO! I'M MISSING NUMBERS LEFT AND RIGHT! TAKEDA IKIMASU! ROPE GLIDER! OK! LOG GRIP AND POLE MAZE! NO PROBLEM! JUMPING SPIDER! OK! BUNGEE BRIDGE! MAN< THAT'S HARDER THAN IT LOOKS> GREAT WALL! OK! IKKAI! IKKAI! FLYING SHOOT! CAN THE ALL=STAR DO IT! COMMERCIAL! CAN I FIGURE OUT MY KEYBOARD?
FLYING SHOOT! CLEAR! THIRTY SECONDS! TARZAN ROPE! I'M STILL IN ALL CAPS! TA=KE=DA! TA=KE=DA! AND THEN THERE WERE THREE!
MORIMOTO! HE'S FIFTEEN! ROPE GLIDER! OK! LOG GRIP! OK! POLE MAZE! NO PROBLEM! JUMPING SPIDER! NO! HIS ARMS ARE TOO SHORT! MORIMOTOOOOOOOO!
)$> US ARMY GUY! ROPE GLIDER! OK! LOG GRIP! OK! POLE MAZE! OK! JUMPING SPIDER! NO! HIS FOOT SLIPPED! IT'S ALL GW'S FAULT!
ONLY THREE OF NINETY=FOUR!
)%> SHIRATORI BUNPEI! ROPE GLIDER! OK! JUST! LOG GRIP! OK! POLE MAZE! OK! JUMPING SPIDER! NAGANO IS WORRIED ABOUT THIS! OK! NO! HE SLIPPED! USO! NANDE! DOUSHITA SHIRATORI!
96. NAGANO MAKOTO! CAN HE DO IT! HE IS CHARACTERISTICALLY WORRIED! FIRST STAGE START! ROPE GLIDER! OKAY! LOG GRIP! NO PROBLEM! POLE MAZE! OK! JUMPING SPIDER! OKAY! BUNGEE BRIDGE! HE'S ON A RECORD PACE! GREAT WALL! CHINA FALLS AGAIN! FLYING SHOOT! BE CAREFUL! OK! TARZAN ROPE UP NEXT! NA=GA=NO! NO PROBLEM! "#>" SECONDS!
97. NAGASAKI SHUNSUKE! HIS BROTHER IS THROUGH! WILL HE FEEL THE PRESSURE! COMMERCIAL BREAK! ROPE GLIDER! OKAY! LOG GRIP! OK! POLE MAZE! NO PROBLEM! JUMPING SPIDER! TRAMPOLINE NAGASAKI! BUNGEE BRIDGE! OK! GREAT WALL! FIRST TRY AND CHINA IS NO MATCH FOR HIM! FLYING SHOOT! HE'S THROUGH! TARZAN ROPE! LOTS OF TIME LEFT! !'>( LEFT! SHUNSUKE IS THROUGH!
98. TAKAHASHI KENJI! HE'S FROM SAITAMA! ROPE GLIDER! OK! LOG GRIP! HE'S HOLDING ON! POLE MAZE! CLEAR! JUMPING SPIDER! WHOA! CAN HE HOLD ON? HE'S SHAKY> OKAY! EDIT TO THE FLYING SHOOT! EDIT TO THE END! HE'S CLEAR! THAT'S SIX!
NUMBER ONE HUNDRED! IYOIYO CLIMAX! ROPE GLIDER! DAIJOUBODA! LOG GRIP! SLOWLY! OK! POLE MAZE! NO! HE SPINS INTO THE WATER! AND THAT'S IT FOR THE FIRST STAGE!
STAGE TWO!
LOTS OF NEW STUFF HERE TOO> SIX MADE IT TO THE SECOND STAGE>
NAGASAKI'S YOUNGER BROTHER IS FIRST> LOOKS LIKE NINETY SECONDS TO CLEAR> THE SECOND OBSTACLE LOOKS HARD> AND IT IS! HE CAN'T MAKE IT! SALMON LADDER!
SORRY IF I HAVEN'T BEEN UPDATING> I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!
MOTOCROSS GUY IS NEXT! SALMON LADDER SEEMS TO BE THE BIG ONE HERE! NO! HE CAN'T GET IT>
TAKEDA IS NEXT! HE'S OFF! THE SALMON LADDER CONQUERED THE FIRST TWO> CAN HE DO IT? NANABANME! HE GOES FOR IT! NO! NO! HE'S OUT!
Okay, I had to reboot my computer to fix whatever was going on.
Nagano is next! He is the last hope of the SASUKE All-Stars! Can he do it! He's the almost there! Can he be the first to clear the Salmon Ladder? Yes! Net Bridge is up next! Okay! Metal Spin! Okay! I turned my head and he's through!
Nagano salvages the All-Stars pride.
Nagasaki is up next. Shunsuke! Commercial
Really sorry about what happened in the middle. No sense fixing it though. It's live!
We're back! Past the Salmon Ladder and Sliding Bar! Net Climb is up next! Metal Spin! Ita! It's the lift weights across a platform thing from VIKING! And that's two!
Takahashi Kenji, Mr. Edit, is next. Salmon Ladder! Can he join Nagano and Nagasaki? Whoa! Okay! Net Bridge! OK! Metal Spin! Itta! He's through! That's three in a row by the way.
Wow, he's um..unhandsome.
THIRD STAGE!
Whoa. The Cliff Hanger is different -- the middle part angles upward and then the third gets smaller as it reaches the end.
Can one of these men reach the final? Nagano! Nagasaki! Takahashi!
Nagano up first. Arm Ring is the same. Arm Bike is next (it was an old obstacle brought back). Curtain Swing is up next instead of the Curtain Climb. Through all four curtains. Is Nagano going to break the new SASUKE already? It's the new Cliff Hanger. He looks nervous. Not his deprecating nervous. Legit nervous. He's through the first two parts! Commercial!
March 30th! Geinojin Sportsman No. 1! I'm there!
We're back! WHOAAAAAAA! He almost doesn't make it! He's through to the next obstacle. NO! Controversey! He touched the non-grip part of the obstacle! That's against the rules! Nagano is a cheater! He's out! He's philosophical in defeat.
Nagasaki Shunsuke is up next. Arm Rings are no problem. He's a hottie! Arm Bike is no problem. Cutain Swing up. No problem. Cliff Hanger up next. Can he do it? There he goes. This is the part he really trains for as it's where he failed prior to the 17th competition. Commercial!
I need to download the new SASUKE for the keitai.
We're back. He's getting ready to go for it. Right hand is there! Gambare! Agh! No! It's the water for Shunsuke! Mata mo kowareta! The minor change is enough to get him.
And then there was one.
Takahashi is up next. Arm Rings are no problem. I believe this is his first SASUKE. Arm Bike is the same. Curtain Swing. He's an unproven commodity. Can he do it? I wasn't worried about Nagasaki and Nagano. He's through. He's the Dark Horse! It's Cliff Hanger time. Here we go. Help him Obi-Wan, he's our only hope. First two are no problem. Commercial.
Here we go. Gambare yo! NO! He tried to swing his whole body as opposed to Nagaski who went one hand at a time. Neither worked. Well, that's that. Just to rub it in, TBS shows us the unseen final obstacles (but not the final stage).
Well, that was fun! Trying to blog the first stage was hectic and well, the all caps thing didn't help because I couldn't update at the time. All in all it was a nice experience but I don't know if I have the stamina to do something like this again.
Until next time SASUKE lovers!
UPDATE! A guy in Japan has some low quality screen shots of famous people failing the first round here.
Danger, Will Robinson! Everything from here on in will be spoilers for people watching SASUKE anywhere other than Japan.
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER
Here we go!
Whoa, there is a race for the numbers! 1200 meters to get to the numbers. Some guy from his university's barbell club (?) is in the lead.
Random white guy sighting! It's the soldier from the G4 promo.
Ooops, barbell boy falls behind. Choshu Korikki is participating. He's almost dead last.
The first people grab numbers!
Shunsuke Nagasaki grabs a number.
Mister Sasuke gets 73.
Nagano gets 96.
Korikki gets 9.
Damn that was confusing.
A quick preview of the new course. Holy crap that looks hard.
1. A pro snowboarder is our first contestant. And he wipes out on the first obstacle! You have to ride a rope to a pontoon like thing. He overshot.
2. A comedian (Black Mayonaise)! He's short!
3. A Korean Comedienne. She's off and didn't get off the platform! She didn't hold on to the rope.
4. Aoki, the weird sculptor guy! He overshoots too!
9. Is Choshu Korikki. Did they skip some people? He's off! But his foot catches the water! He's not out! He's the first to make it to the second obstacle! The Log Grip! But he can't hold on!
10. The squid guy! Kuramochi? He's off and he can't keep his balance!
12. Nomura Masaki! He gets through the first part but can't hold on to the Log Grip!
13. Hang Glider guy! He can't hit the pontoon and goes face first into the water!
15. Weightlifter guy! Don't know him. He hits the first safely. (Rope Glider). He can't hold on to the Log Grip!
They skip some people who can't get through the Rope Glider and Log Grip.
20. Some guy with a nice body. He hits the first. The Log Grip! He's clear! The next up is the Pole Maze! He gets the first but can't hit the second! Well, he's the farthest so far.
21. A guy from Tokushima. He's got fans! He looks confident! Rope Glider no problem. Log Grip is scary but he's through. Pole Maze..NO!!!!
Man, this is hard with the new obstacles.
24. A 22 year old..University baseball player? Go team! Rope Glider! Yes! Log Grip! Yes! Pole Maze! Whoa! Yes! Yes! Jumping Spider! Noooooooooooooo!
Jumping Spider is the 2007 Jump Hang. Mister SASUKE sighting!
More flame outs. About four people don't get their full moment in the sun.
26. Lee Enchi! The Taiwanese rock climber! He's our first true hope to get through the first stage. Rope Glider! Yes! Log Grip! Yes! Pole Maze! Yes and....Whoa! Yes! Jumping Spider! Can he do it? NOOOOOOOOO!
Umm..Yeah it's harder than last year reporter lady.
28. A female MMA fighter! She overshoots!
30. Kampei! Can he do it? Doh...our first commercial break. My hands are getting tired.
So we have Rope Glider, Log Grip, Pole Maze and Jumping Spider.
We're back!
30. Is Kazama Kampei! Rope Glider! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Timing and balance are the key!
33. Athen Olympic Silver medalist cyclist! He's off! Rope Glider! Yes! Log Grip! No!!
34. Johns Jacap? An American living in Japan! He's through Rope Glider. Log Grip? No problem! Pole Maze! Yes! Jumping Spider! NO! His family is now sad.
36. Master of something! He almost wipes out on Rope Glider but gets through. But the Log Grip is his nemesis!
More clips of people who can't make it. Eigo no sensei!!!
39. TV actor guy! Ishimaru Kenjiro! He falls on his back on the Rope Glider and hits the water! Oshiiiii!
40. Guitar Samurai! Hatta Yoku! Yamaguchi-ken represent! His journey is cut short by a commercial! Here we go! No! Zannen! Rope Glider! Zannen!
Oops. One of the qualifier guys from last year! Rope Glider! Yes! Log Grip! Yes! Pole Maze! Yes! Jumping Spider! NOO! The END!
45. Yamashita Shinji! Rope Glider! Yes! Log Grip! Slowly...Yes! Pole Maze! Yes! Jumping Spider! He makes the jump! Bungee Bridge! He's from Hokkaido! Yes! Great Wall! First chance! No! Second! No! Third! No! He can't grab the rope! Time Up!
More guys wipe out! Masked Wrestler guy! NO!!!
48. Sports Instructor! Suzuki Naohiro! His try-out video! Kids are there! To be sad! Rope Glider! Whoa! Yes! Log Grip! Don't rush it! Yes! Pole Maze! Clear! Jumping Spider! He makes it! Bungee Bridge! Yes! Great Wall! Get that rope boy! No! Catches his breath. YES! First through the Great Wall! China is sad. Flying Shoot! Yes! Tarzan Rope! CM! Dammit.
So Rope Glider, Log Grip, Pole Maze, Jumping Spider, Bungee Bridge, Great Wall, Flying Shoot and Tarzan Rope.
We're back! Only ten seconds! Come on! NOOOOOOOO! Time UP! Children are sad! Told ya.
The SASUKE ALL-STARS! Look worried!
The first miss on the Great Wall may have cost him too much time.
So far, 48 and no one has cleared.
More failures. No bonus for you Salaryman!
52. Another Salaryman with a high opinion of himself. Rope Glider! Yes! Log Grip! Feel up that log! Pole Maze! He didn't hold on to the pole! No bonus for you!
54. A Cappoeira instructor. More children to be sad. Rope Glider. OK! Log Grip! No problem! Pole Maze! He's taking too long. It may cost him. As will that flip. Jumping Spider! He can't make the jump that counts!
More children are sad. SASUKE prepares kids for the real world!
56. Zoo guy! He has lots of free time at work! Rope Glider! It's night now. Log Grip! OK! Pole Maze and Jumping Spider are no problem! Bungee Bridge. OUCH! Ochimasen! Great Wall! No! Great Wall! China is sad. Flying Shoot! He needs to hurry. Thirty seconds left! OK! Tarzan Rope! Hurry up! Fourteen seconds. The alarm is going off. Hurry! NO! Time up! Children are sad sad sad.
60. Nagasaki Shunsuke's younger brother! Did he teach him the keys to success! Rope Glider! OK! Log Grip! It's a legacy! Pole Maze! Hayai! Jumping Spider! Sasuga trampoline star! Bungee Bridge. Nagasaki Brothers! Great Wall! China is VERY sad! He got it on the first try. Flying Shoot! Yes! Man, if you miss that you go flying. Tarzan Rope! Will he be the first! Thirty seconds left! He climbs! YES! With exactly 16 seconds left! THE FIRST!
Our first SASUKE All-Star!
61. Yamamoto Shingo! Does he have the gas to do it! HAHAHA! I kill me. Rope Glider! OK! Log Grip! Yes! Pole Maze! Safe! We can hear the others cheering him on. Jumping Spider! Yes! All-Stars! All-Stars! Bungee Bridge! OK! Great Wall! China is not sad! Wait! China IS sad! Flying Shoot! Yes! Go...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
He missed the net. He needs to clean his uniform!
More people wipe out.
70. Moto cross rider! Something Yuuji! A-kyu license! Rope Glider! OK! Log Grip! OK! Pole Maze! Yes!
Jumping Spider! Yes! Bungee Bridge! OK! Great Wall! China! Is! Sad! Flying Shoot up next. His crotch is on TV! Yes! Tarzan Rope! San jyu byo! Clap! Clap! Clap! Ten! Nine! Yes! 9.3 seconds left! Two are through!
2 out of 70!
72. Kawashima Takayuki! Trampoline guy! He has red hair. Rope Glider! OK! Log Grip! OK! Pole Maze! OY! He almost touches the water! But he's through. Jumping Spider! OK! But will he have enough time! Bungee Bridge trips him up but he's okay. Great Wall! He trips! Not his brightest mmoent. Is he tiring? China claims another victim.
73. HERE WE GO! Mister SASUKE! He's wearing NINJA BOOTS! Will they help! Can he do it? Yamada Katsumi! You're up on deck! Honestly, there's no shame in failing the first stage now because it's brand new. Not that I won't be pleased if he can't do it. OH BOY!
Rope Glider! Dammit! Yes!
Log Grip! YA-MA-DA! YA-MA-DA! No! I mean Yes!
Pole Maze! Oy vey! He's through!
Jumping Spider! There is no GOD! He's through.
Bungee Bridge. He's through!
Great Wall! DAMN YOU WALL! DAMN YOU! BE HIGHER NEXT TIME!
A commercial break enables me to calm down.
Although..hmm...Do I hate KimuTaku more than Mister SASUKE! Only a thorough thrashing of both will give me the answer.
WE'RE BACK! I'M IN ALL CAPS!
We have to relive Jumping Spider and Bungee Bridge.
Great Wall! He's *sigh* through.
Flying Shoot! Okay...is there enough time!
Tarzan Rope! Is time a factor! TIME! TIME UP! TIME UP! TIME UP! TIME UP! TIME UP! TIME UP!
Whew.
Ha! Stare at the button! Stare at it!
77. Crazy! Japanese! Military! Guy! If he gets through he'll be my favorite FOREVER.
Rope Glider! OK! Log Grip! NO! YOU'VE LET YOUR COUNTRY DOWN BOY! Lucky sevens mean beans!
78. Sato Hiromichi! NHK exercise program guy! Oh good, children. Commecial break! We're back. Rope Glider! OK! Log Grip! Whoa! OK! Pole Maze! OK! Jumping Spider! Tondaaa! Bungee Bridge! Through! Great Wall! China is..ah, you know. Flying Shoot. Damn, I want to see someone completely miss. AND HE DOES! SORRY ABOUT THAT!
(#! BOBBY NO OTOUTO! ROPE GLIDER! NO!
OK< I SCREWED UP MY KEYBOARD! ALL CAPS FOR RIGHT NOW!
MORE GUYS WIPE OUT!
TAKEDA TOSHIHIRO! I'M MISSING NUMBERS LEFT AND RIGHT! TAKEDA IKIMASU! ROPE GLIDER! OK! LOG GRIP AND POLE MAZE! NO PROBLEM! JUMPING SPIDER! OK! BUNGEE BRIDGE! MAN< THAT'S HARDER THAN IT LOOKS> GREAT WALL! OK! IKKAI! IKKAI! FLYING SHOOT! CAN THE ALL=STAR DO IT! COMMERCIAL! CAN I FIGURE OUT MY KEYBOARD?
FLYING SHOOT! CLEAR! THIRTY SECONDS! TARZAN ROPE! I'M STILL IN ALL CAPS! TA=KE=DA! TA=KE=DA! AND THEN THERE WERE THREE!
MORIMOTO! HE'S FIFTEEN! ROPE GLIDER! OK! LOG GRIP! OK! POLE MAZE! NO PROBLEM! JUMPING SPIDER! NO! HIS ARMS ARE TOO SHORT! MORIMOTOOOOOOOO!
)$> US ARMY GUY! ROPE GLIDER! OK! LOG GRIP! OK! POLE MAZE! OK! JUMPING SPIDER! NO! HIS FOOT SLIPPED! IT'S ALL GW'S FAULT!
ONLY THREE OF NINETY=FOUR!
)%> SHIRATORI BUNPEI! ROPE GLIDER! OK! JUST! LOG GRIP! OK! POLE MAZE! OK! JUMPING SPIDER! NAGANO IS WORRIED ABOUT THIS! OK! NO! HE SLIPPED! USO! NANDE! DOUSHITA SHIRATORI!
96. NAGANO MAKOTO! CAN HE DO IT! HE IS CHARACTERISTICALLY WORRIED! FIRST STAGE START! ROPE GLIDER! OKAY! LOG GRIP! NO PROBLEM! POLE MAZE! OK! JUMPING SPIDER! OKAY! BUNGEE BRIDGE! HE'S ON A RECORD PACE! GREAT WALL! CHINA FALLS AGAIN! FLYING SHOOT! BE CAREFUL! OK! TARZAN ROPE UP NEXT! NA=GA=NO! NO PROBLEM! "#>" SECONDS!
97. NAGASAKI SHUNSUKE! HIS BROTHER IS THROUGH! WILL HE FEEL THE PRESSURE! COMMERCIAL BREAK! ROPE GLIDER! OKAY! LOG GRIP! OK! POLE MAZE! NO PROBLEM! JUMPING SPIDER! TRAMPOLINE NAGASAKI! BUNGEE BRIDGE! OK! GREAT WALL! FIRST TRY AND CHINA IS NO MATCH FOR HIM! FLYING SHOOT! HE'S THROUGH! TARZAN ROPE! LOTS OF TIME LEFT! !'>( LEFT! SHUNSUKE IS THROUGH!
98. TAKAHASHI KENJI! HE'S FROM SAITAMA! ROPE GLIDER! OK! LOG GRIP! HE'S HOLDING ON! POLE MAZE! CLEAR! JUMPING SPIDER! WHOA! CAN HE HOLD ON? HE'S SHAKY> OKAY! EDIT TO THE FLYING SHOOT! EDIT TO THE END! HE'S CLEAR! THAT'S SIX!
NUMBER ONE HUNDRED! IYOIYO CLIMAX! ROPE GLIDER! DAIJOUBODA! LOG GRIP! SLOWLY! OK! POLE MAZE! NO! HE SPINS INTO THE WATER! AND THAT'S IT FOR THE FIRST STAGE!
STAGE TWO!
LOTS OF NEW STUFF HERE TOO> SIX MADE IT TO THE SECOND STAGE>
NAGASAKI'S YOUNGER BROTHER IS FIRST> LOOKS LIKE NINETY SECONDS TO CLEAR> THE SECOND OBSTACLE LOOKS HARD> AND IT IS! HE CAN'T MAKE IT! SALMON LADDER!
SORRY IF I HAVEN'T BEEN UPDATING> I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!
MOTOCROSS GUY IS NEXT! SALMON LADDER SEEMS TO BE THE BIG ONE HERE! NO! HE CAN'T GET IT>
TAKEDA IS NEXT! HE'S OFF! THE SALMON LADDER CONQUERED THE FIRST TWO> CAN HE DO IT? NANABANME! HE GOES FOR IT! NO! NO! HE'S OUT!
Okay, I had to reboot my computer to fix whatever was going on.
Nagano is next! He is the last hope of the SASUKE All-Stars! Can he do it! He's the almost there! Can he be the first to clear the Salmon Ladder? Yes! Net Bridge is up next! Okay! Metal Spin! Okay! I turned my head and he's through!
Nagano salvages the All-Stars pride.
Nagasaki is up next. Shunsuke! Commercial
Really sorry about what happened in the middle. No sense fixing it though. It's live!
We're back! Past the Salmon Ladder and Sliding Bar! Net Climb is up next! Metal Spin! Ita! It's the lift weights across a platform thing from VIKING! And that's two!
Takahashi Kenji, Mr. Edit, is next. Salmon Ladder! Can he join Nagano and Nagasaki? Whoa! Okay! Net Bridge! OK! Metal Spin! Itta! He's through! That's three in a row by the way.
Wow, he's um..unhandsome.
THIRD STAGE!
Whoa. The Cliff Hanger is different -- the middle part angles upward and then the third gets smaller as it reaches the end.
Can one of these men reach the final? Nagano! Nagasaki! Takahashi!
Nagano up first. Arm Ring is the same. Arm Bike is next (it was an old obstacle brought back). Curtain Swing is up next instead of the Curtain Climb. Through all four curtains. Is Nagano going to break the new SASUKE already? It's the new Cliff Hanger. He looks nervous. Not his deprecating nervous. Legit nervous. He's through the first two parts! Commercial!
March 30th! Geinojin Sportsman No. 1! I'm there!
We're back! WHOAAAAAAA! He almost doesn't make it! He's through to the next obstacle. NO! Controversey! He touched the non-grip part of the obstacle! That's against the rules! Nagano is a cheater! He's out! He's philosophical in defeat.
Nagasaki Shunsuke is up next. Arm Rings are no problem. He's a hottie! Arm Bike is no problem. Cutain Swing up. No problem. Cliff Hanger up next. Can he do it? There he goes. This is the part he really trains for as it's where he failed prior to the 17th competition. Commercial!
I need to download the new SASUKE for the keitai.
We're back. He's getting ready to go for it. Right hand is there! Gambare! Agh! No! It's the water for Shunsuke! Mata mo kowareta! The minor change is enough to get him.
And then there was one.
Takahashi is up next. Arm Rings are no problem. I believe this is his first SASUKE. Arm Bike is the same. Curtain Swing. He's an unproven commodity. Can he do it? I wasn't worried about Nagasaki and Nagano. He's through. He's the Dark Horse! It's Cliff Hanger time. Here we go. Help him Obi-Wan, he's our only hope. First two are no problem. Commercial.
Here we go. Gambare yo! NO! He tried to swing his whole body as opposed to Nagaski who went one hand at a time. Neither worked. Well, that's that. Just to rub it in, TBS shows us the unseen final obstacles (but not the final stage).
Well, that was fun! Trying to blog the first stage was hectic and well, the all caps thing didn't help because I couldn't update at the time. All in all it was a nice experience but I don't know if I have the stamina to do something like this again.
Until next time SASUKE lovers!
UPDATE! A guy in Japan has some low quality screen shots of famous people failing the first round here.
新SASUKE 2007春! On! Tonight! (plus G4 tantalizes viewers of Ninja Warrior!)
Well, in about five hours a nation's pain will come to end as TBS will air the latest edition of SASUKE! (Or Ninja Warrior to G4 viewers). The last competition was aired on October 11, 2006 and since then TBS and Monster 9 have decided that they should overhaul SASUKE (to the point of virtually blowing up the final stage):
鋼鉄の魔城がついに陥落！
あれから半年・・・生まれ変わったSASUKEの新ステージがいよいよ登場!
(I can't give a good word for word translation but basically, "The previous challenge has been conquered and now, half a year later a new SASUKE stage has been born!")
They go on to ask of the first stage: "Will there be a jump hang?" "What of the rolling log?" "Is SASUKE All-Star Nagano not the 100th entrant?" "What about loser boy ?" Oops. That last one is supposed to be "What about Katsumi Yamada?"
We will find out from 6:55!
I will try to do a sort of live blog of the show. At the very least I will have results up after the show is finished. Stay tuned!
Extra: So what is a SASUKE fan to do when there is no SASUKE? Well, there are a couple of things:
We know about the Sportsman No. 1 competition on New Years Day.
But also there is the Muscle Musical which features several SASUKE and KUNOICHI (SASUKE's female only competition) participants. It was partially created to give earlier SASUKE flame-outs something to do.
And you can always go to the Muscle Park! It's an indoor mini-theme park based with various games based on SASUKE et al that adults and kids can try. And you can have the Monster Burger! which is based on the Monster Box competition from Sportsman No. 1.
Extra the Second: So on G4 TV's website on their Ninja Warrior page (let it be noted that I wish they had kept the original name) they mention that new episodes would be airing from the 19th of March. Now, we know the following points:
SASUKE is pre-taped.
It will be aired in Japan on the 21st of March.
G4 was there and did a behind the scenes look at the 18th competition.
Thus, lots of people (myself included) assumed that the new episodes were going to be of the 18th competition.
Well, G4 promised new episodes of Ninja Warrior. People got new episodes of Ninja Warrior. But new episodes of Ninja Warrior are not the same as new episodes of SASUKE. G4 has gone back and subbed and dubbed past competitions and is airing them, perhaps in a run-up to the 18th SASUKE. Viewers were confused and mildly annoyed. I was mildly amused because that means I still get to see the show before almost everyone else. Heh.
Oh, I should add that SASUKE is broadcast as a single three hour program in Japan, not in half-hour episodes like on G4. The live blog will attempt to cover the whole program which means SPOILERS!
鋼鉄の魔城がついに陥落！
あれから半年・・・生まれ変わったSASUKEの新ステージがいよいよ登場!
(I can't give a good word for word translation but basically, "The previous challenge has been conquered and now, half a year later a new SASUKE stage has been born!")
They go on to ask of the first stage: "Will there be a jump hang?" "What of the rolling log?" "Is SASUKE All-Star Nagano not the 100th entrant?" "What about loser boy ?" Oops. That last one is supposed to be "What about Katsumi Yamada?"
We will find out from 6:55!
I will try to do a sort of live blog of the show. At the very least I will have results up after the show is finished. Stay tuned!
Extra: So what is a SASUKE fan to do when there is no SASUKE? Well, there are a couple of things:
We know about the Sportsman No. 1 competition on New Years Day.
But also there is the Muscle Musical which features several SASUKE and KUNOICHI (SASUKE's female only competition) participants. It was partially created to give earlier SASUKE flame-outs something to do.
And you can always go to the Muscle Park! It's an indoor mini-theme park based with various games based on SASUKE et al that adults and kids can try. And you can have the Monster Burger! which is based on the Monster Box competition from Sportsman No. 1.
Extra the Second: So on G4 TV's website on their Ninja Warrior page (let it be noted that I wish they had kept the original name) they mention that new episodes would be airing from the 19th of March. Now, we know the following points:
SASUKE is pre-taped.
It will be aired in Japan on the 21st of March.
G4 was there and did a behind the scenes look at the 18th competition.
Thus, lots of people (myself included) assumed that the new episodes were going to be of the 18th competition.
Well, G4 promised new episodes of Ninja Warrior. People got new episodes of Ninja Warrior. But new episodes of Ninja Warrior are not the same as new episodes of SASUKE. G4 has gone back and subbed and dubbed past competitions and is airing them, perhaps in a run-up to the 18th SASUKE. Viewers were confused and mildly annoyed. I was mildly amused because that means I still get to see the show before almost everyone else. Heh.
Oh, I should add that SASUKE is broadcast as a single three hour program in Japan, not in half-hour episodes like on G4. The live blog will attempt to cover the whole program which means SPOILERS!
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