Monday, December 28, 2009

SASUKE 2010 NAVI Sort of Live Blog! SASUKE 2010 ナビ! SASUKE 24 NAVI!

Let's kill some time by watching the last ten minutes of the New Years Ekiden preview.

OK. I like living in Japan and I understand it's important for the participants but who really watches a relay marathon? Does anyone watch the whole thing? What do the announcers talk about? "And they're off! And they're running! Still running!"

One hour later.

"And they are still running!"

And so on and so forth.

Yes, because when I think New Year Ekiden I think "Exile song."

SASUKE! 2010!

Let's start with a montage of comedians! And athletes! And All-Stars!

Kanno! Bang! Bang!


It's sign up time! There's Some chick just got number 52.

Dachou Club ダチョウ倶楽部. Udo Suzuki ウド鈴木. Tetsuro Degawa 出川哲朗. Eiko Kano 狩野英孝. Wakky ワッキー. Dandy Sakano ダンディ坂野. Tetsu and Tomo テツandトモ. Takeshi Nadagi なだぎ武. Edo Harumi エド・はるみ. Audrey's Toshiaki Kasuga 春日俊彰. Oh, are both of them competing this time?

And Hosshan ほっしゃんjust for good measure.

The combo that trains together stays together! Oh wow, they both played American football? Kasuga I can see but the other guy? Interesting. Kasuga going to be serious? Let's see his run from 2009 where he just did his schtick.

Let's do some push-ups! The partner's name is Masayasu Wakabayashi 若林正恭.

And let's go in and see Udo Suzuki and his partner training! I don't think Amano is going to be there. Suzuki has done Judo and Kendo. Not exactly sports that lend themselves to something like SASUKE.

Descente in the hizzouse!

Amano gives a slap to the back!

Eiko Kano, Mr. Narcissist. And there he is training at a Gold's Gym. Yeah, that's going to help. I say Log Grip.

*Sigh* Hiromichi Sato 佐藤弘道. Oh, that's right. He finally didn't disappoint his family until the 2nd Stage last time where he failed the Metal Spin. I was actually surprised he did the Salmon Ladder but hey, it's his job to be in shape.

And he's back with the Muscle Musical. Cheater. Let's see him train for the Salmon Ladder. Is it too much to ask for a mugger to um..mug him in that dark alley?

Oh look. Shinsengumi Rien. Um..Sakakibara failed the Jumping Spider. And another guy failed the Log Grip. Choreography! Looks like Tetsuji Sakakibara 榊原徹士 and Yoshiya Seki 関義哉 are participating this time.

The band that trains to...ah, forget it.

Descente in the hizzy!

Nagano! Kanno! Yuji! Yamada! Fall off the mountain! Fall off the mountain!

Commercial! For SASUKE! Who's time will it be! SASUKE!

Actual commercials.

Hahaha! I can get the SASUKE website and you can't!


It's Akiyama! It's Nagano! And that's it for the Kanzenseihas.

New Stars vs. All-Stars!

Makoto Nagano 長野誠 doesn't want to lose to them whippersnappers!

And the whippersnappers don't want to lose to them senior citizens!

Note the missing Bunpei.

Let's review Nagano's run in 23rd. Cue the Last Battle!

Must be handy to have a boat to train on and stuff. Shave them pits Makoto, every one can see.

Oh, and to have a crane to practice rope climbing. Handy, those things.

14 seconds! Do it again! Do it again! Kaiou doesn't care. He's just cold. 13 seconds!

Kaiou: "Get me off TV!"

Let's go to the man in the orange pants, Toshihiro Takeda 竹田敏浩. Remember that he's struggled with the Hang Climbing. 12 3rd Stage out of 19 tries is pretty darn good.

Ah, the irony of him going to a rock climbing place called G4.

He gets some help from a kindly old man, not unlike a sifu in a kung-fu movie. Later, he will die and Toshihiro will have to avenge his death.

His first piece of advice was to remove all his bling before climbing.

The fami..oh wait.

What exactly is his son supposed to say?

Let's visit our favorite gasoline stand area manager. Shingo Yamamoto 山本進悟 finally got back on track in 23. It had been three years for him between 3rd Stage appearances but his arm failed him.

Cut it off! Cut it off!

He goes to visit a doctor to see what was wrong. Years of pumping gas are not good for him. Inner muscle? There is a masturbation joke in here somewhere that I won't get into.

Hahahaha. You have to see it to understand.

I wonder what people think when they see the gasoline guy climbing all over the place? "I just wanted gas, man."

And of course let's go to the backyard that Katsumi Yamada 山田勝己 ruined.

Ten times! Ten times!


That was a pretty fun fall he took last time.

Last time! Last time! I wonder if he regrets saying that? I wonder if he's a giant drama queen. These things do not keep me up at night.

Pop. Pop.

Let's relive his greatest quote. I love you TBS.

And let's compound it by reliving his recent failures.

Free Muscle Musical shirts for everyone!

"Katsumi "Mr. SASUKE" Yamada was found after being lost in the mountains for a week."

Poor camera guy who had to follow him everywhere. I think Yamada is "blown up" as they say in the wrestling biz.

Descente getting bizzy in the hizzy!

And after a month it's amazing how much weight Oprah has lost! Oh wait. Well, he's 69.5 after a month or so of hard training. So no excuses now man! No excuses!

Enough of the old people. Wait, where's Kazuhiko Akiyama 秋山和彦? Too expensive to send a crew to Hokkaido I guess?

Yuuji Urushihara 漆原裕治!

Hitoshi Kanno 菅野仁志! Bzzap!

They've both reached the Final Stage! They are the New Stars of Legend! Suikoden!

Good to have a place to train.

Use your legs man! Use your legs! So he does some pull-ups then goes straight to the rope. Image training! Ah, Japan.


Sasami and lettuce in the house!

Hey, at least my apartment is cleaner than his.

Yuuji Urushihara!

He fell during the 2nd Stage last time. He lost his balance so that's his focus this time around. He uses a "slackline" to practice.

Kanzenseiha Shimasu!


Tomohiro Kawaguchi 川口朋広! Hiroki Nomura 野村宏樹! Makoto Yahagi 矢作誠! Ryo Matachi 又地諒! Koji Hashimoto 橋本亘司! Keita Tomino 富野恵太! It's like a picnic. With obstacles.

Matachi: 何で落ちたんですか?
Urushihara: 知らないよ.

Only people who train together can really say that kind of stuff to each other without it turning into violence, I think.

Wha? Ahh....Yuuji dips his hands in ice water then tries the Shin-Cliff Hanger. He does it but abune! Kanno tries but can't.

Hashimoto tries with them. That's a novel idea. They are thinking ahead!

Race! Race!

Good to have a training buddy.

Takeda! Yamamoto! Akiyama! Nagano! Kanno! Urushihara!

TBS is really trying to push the All-Stars versus New Stars thing.

Sudo Genji! Some other guys!

CM...for SASUKE! Kanzenseiha!!!!!!!!



Oh snap, Yamada got his own commercial.


Genki Sudo 須藤元気!

Katsuhiko Nagata 永田克彦! He won a silver medal in Sidney in wrestling.

Takashi Fukunishi 福西崇史! He had that goofy smile the last time. I loved that. I want him to do well if only for that.

Kazuyuki Toda 戸田和幸! He's another soccer player. He thinks he can do it!

Takehiro Ishikawa 石川雄洋! He plays for the Yokohama Bay Stars!

Shortstop? I guess.

Genki Sudo! He didn't do very well last time.

Yoshiyuki Okuyama 奥山義行! Remember, he didn't go to the Olympics. But SASUKE is his Olympics! He failed the Spider Flip last time in a way that HAD to have given him splinters.

It's Christmas! They um..must have filmed this..when?

What do you expect their kids to say, TBS? "My dad sucks! He'll never finish the course!"

He uses his apartment to do some Spider Flip image training.

Commercial. For SASUKE! Danchou Club. Comedians. Athletes.



Let's get ready for the New Year!

Muscle Musical members! Let's see...Satomi Kadoi 門井佐登美, Terukazu Ishikawa 石川輝一, Hiromitsu Takahashi 高橋博光, Takuya Kawahara 川原拓也, Spinboy Aichi 大野愛地, Rie Komiya 小宮理英 and some blurry faces. Another two guys (?) and a female. I hope it's Tomomi Arimatsu 有松知美.

Dachou Club. Morons.

Degawa. Oh please.

Udo Suzuki.

Eiko Kano.

Toshiro Shimazaki 島崎俊郎.



Yoshio Kojima.


Wakky again.

Udo again.

The greatest SASUKE comedian of them all, Katsumi Yamada.





And that's it!

See you on January 1st!

The Meeting


Several years ago, TBS and Monster 9 brought together six men from different walks of life to form Captain Planet Voltron, Defender of the Universe The New Monkees The SASUKE All-Stars!

MN: Makoto Nagano
TT: Toshihiro Takeda
SY: Shingo Yamamoto
KA: Kazuhiko Akiyama
KY: Katsumi Yamada


SY: Look, I'm just saying that we shouldn't baby him and tell him straight up what's going on.

KA: Is he here? I can't tell.

MN: I know but you know how he can ge..

TT: Shh..he's coming.

KY: Hey guys! I was wondering where you all were! I thought you were hiding from me again! Like that game we always play where all of you go off somewhere without telling me and I have to search for you and...

MN: Um..yeah. That game. We were playing that game again Katsumi. Look, we need to talk. Sit down.

KY: Sure! Is this about the spray? I know I didn't send as much as before bu..

TT: I think we have enough spray Katsumi.

KY: Are you sure? I think there's an expiration date on the cans somewhere. I have one in my pocket right now. Let me take a...

SY: Katsumi. We don't want to talk about the spray.

KA: Huh? What? Is everyone here? You guys have to move a bit closer. I can hear you but I can't see you.

KY: Oh. OK. Well, what's up?

SY: Makoto?

MN: Well, actually, there are two things we have to talk about. Or rather, two people. First of all, we know that Bunpei has been injured recently and it looks more and more like he may not be able to compete anymore.

KY: That's a shame that. I keep telling him to try to use the spray on his back but he never does.

MN: Um. Right. Well, the boys at Monster 9 gave us a suggestion and we think it's a good one. At least something we'll try out for a bit.

KY: We're disbanding the All-Stars??? Oh no!

TT: No, we're not disbanding.

KY: Alright! We're getting the band back together! Woo-hoo! World tour here we come!!

SY: Huh? We never broke up. What the hell are you talking about you freaking mor..

MN: What Shingo is trying to say is that we're not breaking up or getting back together. We're going to try to insert some new blood into the All-Stars. We all have our distinct personalities and occupations and whatnot.

TT: Right. Makoto is like the all-around guy. Shingo is the goofy guy.

SY: Toshihiro is the talented choker.

*Shingo and Toshihiro glare at each other*

MN: Err..Bunpei is the deceptively athletic guy. Kazuhiko and you are the power guys.

KY: OK. I think I understand. So they want us to try to keep the same make-up of the group? Get in some fresh faces, eh?

MN: Exactly. But we want to keep the number at six. So if Bunpei is out we had to find someone who sort of is like him. And we think we found someone. Hey, Yuuji?


Yuuji Urushihara: Hello, sirs!

KY: Shoe guy? Really? Are you sure about that? Because you know, I've trained quite a few guys in the past and...

TT: He has a name, Katsumi. And no, we don't really think your trainees are quite up to snuff..yet.

KY: C'mon. You know you guys just want the free shoes he can get you. It's gotta be the shoes, right?

SY: What the hell was that?

KA: Is there someone else in here? What does "Money, it's gotta be the shoes" mean?

MN: Yuuji has proven himself admirably thus far. Right, Yuuji? We're not just using him for shoes.

YU: That's right Mr. Nagano sir!

MN: Oh, and Yuuji, do you have these in black? That's more my color.

YU: I'll check in the back sir!

KY: Well, OK. Shoe guy it is. But you said two people?

TT: Hitoshi, you can come in now.


Hitoshi Kanno: Awww yeeaaah! Check me out! You know who should join the Self-Defense Force?

TT: Um, no. Who?

HK: Me! Cuz check out these guns! Pow pow!

TT: ...

MN: ...

SY: ...

KA: What? Who's there?

HK: Blam! Blam!

YU: Does anyone need socks to try on their shoes first?

KY: Oh. OK. But said you wanted to keep it at six? If Shoe Guy is replacing Bunpei then who is um..Gun Guy re...OH NO!

MN: So you get it?

KY: Kazuhiko?!?!? You guys are so mean! I mean I know Kazuhiko is blind as a bat but..

KA: Who said that? Katsumi? Who called me blind? I dare you to call me that to my face. But like, can you move closer to my face so I can see you?

MN: Umm..

SY: See, I told you.

KY: Chill out K-Man! I'm gonna save you from these bullies!

TT: Argh. We're not kicking Kazuhiko out.

KY: Huh? Then who? Obviously Kanno is a power guy.

HK: Zap! Bzzzap! Bzzzap!

MN: Bzzap?

HK: Laser guns!

MN: ...

*The All-Stars who can see all turn to look at Yamada*

MN: Katsumi, there's no easy way to say this...

KY: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. After all the spray I've given you guys? Even after all that?

SY: This has nothing to do with the spray Katsumi. You know it's been ten straight times you've failed the 1st Stage, right?

KY: Kazuhiko has been sucking for a while too you know!

KA: OK, that's definitely Katsumi. Move your face closer to my fist so I can bop you one!

TT: He's made the 2nd Stage a lot more recently than you have.

KY: But I'm the face of SASUKE! I'm Mr. SASUKE! MR. SASUKE! You can't kick me out!

YU: Serves you right for dissing me, old man.


YU: Err..Do you need extra laces with that sir?

MN: Katsumi, it's embarrassing. We cheer you on. We give you advice. We do everything we can for you. It's time to move on.

KY: NO! OK! I KNOW! Umm..we can all wear masks! Like a bunch of luchadors! The SASUKE Vilanos! Or the Killer SASUKES! Then, Makoto will run instead of me and then at the end we switch places before the interview and then I'll unmask and everyone will be like "Wow!" and...

TT: That's not going to work.

KY: It will!

SY: It won't.

HK: Bang! Bang!

KY: I'm gonna tell Mr. Higuchi!

MN: It was his idea Katsumi. Look, you'll still get invited to the show. You'll still be Mr. SASUKE. You just won't be an All-Star. I think it'll be good for you. Less pressure.

KY: NO! I wanna be an All-Star! I wanna! Fine then! I retire!

TT: Right now?

KY: Um..Yes! No! After the next show! If I can't pass the 1st Stage I'll retire!

MN: You don't have to do th...

KY: I'm gonna call Mr. Higuchi right now and tell him to put it in all the magazines and on the websites and I'm gonna tell everyone what a bunch of meanies you are and *sob sob sob sob*

MN: Why don't we go outside and calm down...

*Nagano, Takeda, Yamamoto and Akiyama take Yamada outside*

YU: Are they gone?

HK: Blam! I mean, yeah.

YU: Good. And now our plan is starting to come together! Soon we will oust all the All-Stars and replace them with new blood! Buahahahahahaha!

HK: Buahahahahaha! Did you like my cover character? Check out these guns!

YU: Yeah, that was great. Now help me put these shoes away.

See you at SASUKE 24!

(Photos courtesy of Rambling Rican)

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer! The Aftermath!

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. A heartwarming Christmas tale of discrimination and alienation. But although the Rankin/Bass special had a happy ending what happened after the cameras were off?


Realizing that he had something that Santa desperately needed, Rudolph and his agent Scott Boras held out for a new contract prior to Christmas 1997. Santa relented and gave Rudolph a 10-year $252 million contract. In 2007 Rudolph retired a rich reindeer (although not as rich as he could have been due to a costly divorce from Clarice in 2003 when it was revealed that Rudolph had several does on the side). As a going away present he bought Santa a pair of headlights for his sleigh with a note saying "Get into the modern age fatso."

Fireball never patched up his friendship with Rudolph. When Rudolph became a success the other reindeer noticed the "weird buck with the blond hair" and tormented Fireball relentlessly. Furthermore, his parents would constantly compare him to Rudolph giving him even more of an inferiority complex. Fireball now fronts an emo band that is "going to make it big any day now. Have you seen our myspace page?"


Like Rudolph, Hermey was able to retire to a life of luxury. Being the only dentist in the area, he was able to charge whatever he wanted for treatment and the other elves, having been denied health insurance by Santa years ago, went broke trying to pay for his outrageous fees. Currently Hermey is in Washington D.C. lobbying to prevent health care reform.


Comet was fired as reindeer coach after a buck died during a hazing incident.


The Spotted Elephant was not long for this world when it was discovered that the spots were actually cancerous.


A Dolly for Sue had psychological problems that manifested themselves soon after leaving the Island. A gender reversed account of her life after the Island was later made into the "Child's Play" movie series.


Hermey's Immediate Supervisor was later found dead in the showers with a knife sticking out of his back with a note next to him saying "Sing THIS a$$hole."


As of late Santa has been besieged by human rights activists who are protesting his exploitation of "little people" and by animal rights activists over his treatment of his reindeer. Santa was caught on tape saying "Well, I know who's getting coal in their stockings this year," a quote which later got him in hot water with environmentalists who are now protesting his reckless waste of fossil fuels. Santa later said in an interview "Better elves than a bunch of Chinese slave children, amiright?" which led to...

Yeah yeah. Not the strongest of posts. This originally was going to be a liveblog ala the It's A Wonderful Life one but I just wasn't up for it. The "Where are they now?" part was always going to be the end of the liveblog so I decided to just go for it. Some ideas were a little more NSFW in the beginning (think Santa and "To Catch a Predator") but I scrapped them. So forget this post and go over to Medium-Large (he writes Sally Forth!) and peruse the Christmas strips. Some are new. Some are reruns. But all are much much funnier than what I have up above.

Sportsman No. 1 2010 Competitors スポーツマンNO.1決定戦2010

Not much information out there yet but I just wanted to put this up to remind myself:

So far...

EDIT: Wow. This is an interesting list.


Masaki Nomura 野村将希
Yukio Iketani 池谷幸雄
Makoto Nagano 長野誠
Wakky ワッキー
Naoki Iketani 池谷直樹
Shingo Yamamoto 山本進悟
Toshihiro Takeda 竹田敏浩
Texas Takeda 竹田テキサス (Dangan Jockey)(弾丸ジャッキー)
Chiro チロ (Bignsmalln)(ビックスモールン)
Orakio Matsuyuki 松雪オラキオ (Dangan Jockey)(弾丸ジャッキー)
Ryo Shirai 白井涼
Mitsuomi Takahashi 高橋光臣
Shouta Minami 南翔太
Riki Miura 三浦力
Hirokazu Oyama 大山大和
Kazuya Matsunaga 松永一哉
Kouhei Mori 森公平 (Shinsengumi Rien)(新選組リアン)
Hiroya Kunisada 國定拓弥 (Shinsengumi Rien)(新選組リアン)
Tetsuji Sakakibara 榊原徹士 (Shinsengumi Rien)(新選組リアン)
Yoshiya Seki 関義哉 (Shinsengumi Rien)(新選組リアン)
Jun Yamaguchi 山口純 (Shinsengumi Rien)(新選組リアン)
Yoshiaki Kanemura 金村義明
Yasuei Yakushiji 薬師寺保栄
Kazuyuki Toda 戸田和幸
Leszek Blanik レゼク・ブラニク
Shunsuke Itou 伊藤俊亮
Daisuke Miyazaki 宮崎大輔
Hiroyasu Tanaka 田中浩康
Hiroki Kitagawa 北川智規
Junichi Miyashita 宮下純一
Kimitake Satou 佐藤公威
Kairi Kouchi 高智海吏
Akihito Yamada 山田章仁
Takehiro Ishikawa 石川雄洋

Saturday, December 12, 2009

SASUKE 2010 Competitors

Information is slowly coming in and I just picked me up one of them fancy TV magazines so I gots me some names.

(12/16: Updated with more names via TV Guide TVガイド)

(12/25: Updated more names via Yahoo! TV Guide)

(12/28: Navi stuff added)

So far...

Makoto Nagano 長野誠
Toshihiro Takeda 竹田敏浩
Kazuhiko Akiyama 秋山和彦
Shingo Yamamoto 山本進悟
Katsumi Yamada 山田勝己

Lee En Chi リー・エンチ

New Star:
Hitoshi Kanno 菅野仁志
Yuuji Urushihara 漆原裕治

Yoshio Kojima 小島よしお
Hori ホリ
Korikki Choshu 長州小力
Hiromichi Sato 佐藤弘道
Katsuhiro Higo 肥後克広 (Dachou Club ダチョウ倶楽部)
Jimon Terakado 寺門ジモン (Dachou Club ダチョウ倶楽部)
Ryuhei Ueshima 上島竜兵 (Dachou Club ダチョウ倶楽部)
Udo Suzuki ウド鈴木 (Kyai~n キャイ〜ン)
Takeshi Nadagi  なだぎ武
Toshiaki Kasuga 春日俊彰 (Audrey オードリー)
Masayasu Wakabayashi 若林正恭 (Audrey オードリー)
Akira Omori 大森晃
Tetsuro Degawa 出川哲朗
Eiko Kano 狩野英孝
Nocchi ノッチ
Hanawa はなわ
Dandy Sakano ダンディ坂野
Tetsuya Nakamoto 中本哲也 (Tetsu and Tomo テツandトモ)
Tomoyuki Ishizawa 石澤智幸 (Tetsu and Tomo テツandトモ)
Jun Itoda 井戸田潤 (Speed Wagon スピードワゴン)
Rie Komiya 小宮理英
Satomi Kadoi 門井佐登美
Hiromitsu Takahashi 高橋博光
Takuya Kawahara 川原拓也
Spinboy Aichi 大野愛地
Terukazu Ishikawa 石川輝一
Kuruo Hatoyama 鳩山来留夫
Tetsuji Sakakibara 榊原徹士 (Shinsengumi Rien 新撰組リアン)
Yoshiya Seki 関義哉 (Shinsengumi Rien 新撰組リアン)
Masahiro Inoue (Kamen Rider Decade) 井上正大
Keisuke Katou (Kamen Rider Ixa) 加藤慶祐
Harumi Edo エド・はるみ
Kenjiro Ishimaru 石丸謙二郎
Hosshan ほっしゃん
Toshiro Shimazaki 島崎俊郎
Wakky ワッキー

Kazuyuki Toda 戸田和幸
Takashi Fukunishi 福西崇史
Genki Sudo 須藤元気
Sachiyo Yamada 山田幸代
Katsuhiko Nagata 永田克彦
Yukio Iketani 池谷幸雄
Naoki Iketani 池谷直樹
Paul ANTHONY Terek
Yoshiyuki Okuyama 奥山義行
Takehiro Ishikawa 石川雄洋

SASUKE "famous"
Katsuhide Torisawa 鳥澤克秀
Yasuo Aoki 青木保夫
Minoru Kuramochi 倉持稔
Masami Harashima 原島雅美

According to Katsuhide Torisawa's blog post, Bunpei was there only to cheer on the others due to an injury.

More as information trickles in...

SASUKE 2010, Sportsman No. 1, DOORS

Quick and dirty:

SASUKE Navi (SASUKEナビ) will be on December 28th, 2009 (12月28日) from 11:00 to 11:50 on TBS (and thankfully my local affiliate).
SASUKE 23 (SASUKE 2009秋) will be re-aired in select markets on December 29th, 2009 (12月29日) from 12:00 to 14:54 on TBS (but not my local affiliate. Boo!)
The SASUKE History Special (SASUKE 歴史的決戦) will be on January 1st, 2010 (1月1日) from 16:36 to 17:15 on TBS (or your local affiliate).
SASUKE 2010 will be on January 1st, 2010 (1月1日) from 17:45 to 23:24 on TBS (or your local affiliate).

Sportsman No. 1 will be on January 7th, 2010 (1月7日) from 19:55 to 22:48 on TBS. This is not a regular Sportsman No. 1 competition. It is going to be a history show/retrospective plus a 50 man Monster Box competition.

DOORS 2009  Winter will be on December 28, 2009 (12月28日) from 18:30 to 23:14 on TBS.

More news as it filters in.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Friday, October 09, 2009

SASUKE 24 Announcement SASUKE第24回大会開催決定








氏名・年齢・職業・連絡先・住所・スポーツ歴・出場への意気込みなどを  書いて下記あて先までご応募下さい。


〒150-0031 東京都渋谷区桜丘町20-1 
(株)モンスター・ナイン 「SASUKE」出場者募集係 まで


This is pretty much the standard announcement. The interesting part is this:


An emergency decision has been made!
In SASUKE 23 the battle between the old and new was not settled
so SASUKE 24 will be held in a hurry this December.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

KUNOICHI 2009 The Sort of Live Blog!


I'll fill this part in later.

Let's get to it!

Wow, that looks like a lot to set up for the show.

1st Stage. Groups of four. The top two advance to the 2nd Stage.

Let's catch some reactions to their groupings.

There are flags at the end. YOU MUST GET ONE!

Group One!
Pro lacrosse plater, Watanabe Sae, Inoue Masumi, Nail Artist Kanna something.

Two minutes to finish.

Good night to the nail artist. Watanabe is ahead. Wait, no she isnt. Oh crap this is hard to follow. Lacrosse player and soft tennis player are the only ones left. Yamada is almost through! She's up to the net. Inoue is there, too. Lots of time left. And that's one! And that's two!

Let's look at the nail artist get hit where the men would DIE.

Group Two!

Street dancer Yamada. Three others.

Everyone going so far. Snow boarder is last but has now caught up. Wait..NO! Yes! Everyone is through. Spider walk like thing. Muscle Musical girl is ahead. All up to the swing. Everyone is through! And it's a race up the net! Who will it be? Can they push each other off? Oshima is through! And street dancer Yamada!

Group Three!

Actress Miki Hara. Three others.

Here we go! Up to the log. All through. Cut to the swing thing. That's one! Two! Someone overshoots! And the other girl has given up since she's stuck on the log thingy. Uh oh. Time is going red. Yes! Miki Hara and someone else are through!

Group Four!

Magician Yukari Nishi, idol Ami Tokito, a model, comedienne Harumi Edo.

Let's see Edo run the 24 Hour Television marathon. I don't expect much out of her but hey, I don't work in casting. KU NO I CHI.

Ah..OK, the model is Mika Kagoshima. My first full group of names! And Nishi does magic! But let's go to a commercial first. Perhaps she can magic herself to the finish line. Or would that be against the rules?

Was that a Soka Gakkai commercial?

Back. Let's see the magic again! Or maybe not.

They're off! Racer is OUT! Tokito is ahead. Some pro..NO! That's it for her! Magician Nishi and Edo are kind of stuck. Edo is...Um...OK. some problems for both of them. Yes! Spider Walking thingy. OK, not really Spider Walk since there are ledges on the fences. Magician finally falls into the water. MAGIC IS NOT REAL! Does she have enough time? Edo is up to the swing. Not much time left. Um. OK. And...NO! She didn't have the form. That's all four!

Tokito rushed so that killed her. Edo was a female stereotype so that did her in.

Group Five!

Hiromi Satake and

A whole bunch of people fail. That wasn't a group.

Group Five!

Former Morning Musume member Makoto Ogawa!

So is the repechage for eveyrone or just the ones where no one cleared?

Whoops. They started already. Everyone up to the Multiple Log bridge thing. Fence Walk. NO! That's one. And the messenger is out at the bridge. And there goes Ogawa! Cut to the last person at the swing...AND SHE OVERSHOOTS!


I guess in theory you could swing all the way to net.

Group Six!

Comedienne Itou Asako, Akiko benchpress champion, ballroom dancer, idol Manami Hashimoto.

Is the log hurdle an obstacle?

Akiko Benchpress champion is OUT! The log bridge thing. Ballroom dancer is through! There's Hashimoto! And Itou! Fence Walk. The ballroom dancer flashes her lady clothes in an un-ladylike way and then FAILS THE SWING! Two left.

But let's cut to the commercials first!


Itou does the "It's scary schtick." Then falls in anyway! And there goes Hashimoto! That's everyone! Wait. So do the top two go to the repechage?

Group Seven! And Group Eight!

A bunch of actresses and the AKB48 members all fail!

Group Eight! Idol Akai Saki fails!

And there goes Role Chen in Group Nine or maybe not Group Nine. Argh!

Screw it.

Group Ten!

An idol, Rie Komiya and...her clips of past KUNOICHI performances. And SASUKE. I think they're building her up for something. Fukushima Wakaga. And a Crane operator.

Ready! *Bang!*

Komiya is ahead. Whoa! OK. Fence walk thing. I guess it doesn't matter which one you take. Komiya is through. Swing thing. Fukushima is still there. Komiya is through! Fukushima..NO! She was almost there! And Komiya is through! Whoops. Sorry cra..oh wait. There she is. She was too short to get to the Ladder nad timed out.

Hey! Chie Nishimura! Let's go back in time and see the only woman who ever cleared the 1st Stage of SASUKE. Her kids are there. That's not good.

Chie Nishimura. Here they go. Kitagawa is out! Maeda is out! Arimatsu! Yes! Nishimura...NO! She fell as she hit the platform! Shouldn't have brought the kids.

Group Eleven!

Double dutcher (umm) Rin! Lacrosse player! Triathlon lady! Satomi Kadoi of the Muscle Musical!

High level group!

Here we go. Kadoi is ahead. Some trouble with the logs. Kadoi is through! Rin is ahead! Rin and Kadoi are neck and neck! Last part! Kadoi yes! Rin hits the platform and falls! Serves her right for waving her hands in the air like she didn't care. Wait. Still time for the girl whose blog I found before!

Group Twelve!

Ayako Inada of the Muscle Musical! Cut to just her clearing.

Miku Asai, pro wakeboarder! I guess she was the only one to reach since she grabbed both flags.

Other people passed! One of them was Shingo Yamamoto's underling!

Group Thirteen!

Lady with really long name. Mayumi Asano. Mikki. Sumiko Nishioka.

Go! Nishioka is ahead. Wait. Mikki is. All at the log bridge thingy. Mikki is first through! And then Nishioka. Mikki is short and it works against her. Long name lady, Nishioka and Mikki are all at the swing thing!

But let's peruse some products via this machine called the television first.

My gosh, how many commercials is Kimura doing? Get off my TV!

If you love yourself, give yourself some coffee!

TYS! Challenging! Charming! Cheer!


At the log swing. Hula dancer is finally out. Nishioka is...through? She touched water. Mikki overshoots! Lots of time! Nishioka is through! OK. I found the hula dancer lady's blog too! And the lady with the long name is through!

I would throw a challenge flag on Nishioka touching the water but the show was filmed a while ago.

Let's look at who has cleared so far! No numbers so it's hard to figure out how many we've seen.

Group Fourteen!

Frisbee lady. buff lady. Chinese acrobat. Sara Jean Underwood (representing G4).

And Sara Jean does some training with Maho Tanaka!

Here we go! Everyone OK so far. Geez, how many times can he mention Playboy and Playmate? Cut to the final obstacle! Sara is through! Ultimate frisbee lady is out! Buff lady is out! Sara Jean is the last one standing!

Flag on the play! Maybe not.

It was hard

Group Fifteen!

Which one is Takeda cheering for? Three are through! It's a race to the top! Go bikini lady! I bet that's who he's cheering for. Muscle Musical lady and buff bikini lady are through! And that's it for Takeda's screen time! He wasn't cheering for bikini lady.

Susanne something something! She's an Olympic medalist! And the Lady Nagano going against her? Ouch. Let's re-air SASUKE footage and see Monster 9 INVADE FAMILY TIME!

Here we go! Wait. CMs first.

New Pachinko parlor opening soon! Be there or get a real job!



Here we go. Everyone is through to the first part. Let's look at Nagano yell at his wife. Cut!

At the swing! Two are gone! Nagano could do it! First swing. NO! And yes! But she she has to hurry! Time is going red! NO! Time up! Hey! Shingo!

The baby is too young to understand MOM'S FAILURE.

Group Sixteen!

A field hockey lady is out! A kickboxer is out! A soccer player is out! A loser is you!

A young mother times out!

Rena Higashi! Where's mom? NO! There's mom.

Maho Tanaka! She's going against field hockey player Yuka Kato! And others!

Tanaka is rocking the neon jams today.

Kato is ahead. Tanaka is kind of stuck on the log thing. Whoa. Kato is almost finished and there's like a minute left. Tanaka needs to hurry. She's through! But she'll have to beat the other girl! Can she do it? NO!


She took too long on the log bridge thing.

Repechage time!

If all four have been eliminated, they have to go on a spinning platform in pairs and then reach the finish line. Only one gets through.

Itou Asako goes against the bench press lady. Hashimoto goes against the ballroom dancer. Twenty seconds of spinning.

And that's it! The ballroom dancer lady is through!

Next group!

Interviews that are actually Descente commercials. Catch them all!

Kagoshima and Edo on the red side. Nishi and Tokito on the other side. Here we go a-spinning. I think Kagoshima should have an advantage here but who knows. Stop! Kagoshima is ahead! Wait! Kagoshima and Nishi have both gotten the flag! And? What's the decision! Let's go to the booth! Wait! The instant replay shows that Kagoshima got it first!

Nagano gets another chance! She's paired with a cheerleader on the red side. The tall Olympian lady and the idol are on the other side. Here they go! The idol! Nagano! Nagano! Yes! The Olympian didn't even leave the platform. G-Cup idol Yazawa didn't stand a chance. I guess you have to try just in case the person falls.

Pro wrestler and Idoling's Sakai on the red side. Rola Chen and some other girl on the other side. Don't be polite! Sakai is through! I'd be pushing people out of the way but I am quite unsportsmanlike.

Oy. Satake and the gal with four kids on the blue side. Sakai and a volleyball on the red. Go! I bet the gal with four kids does it. Yes! She does.

Hey, Rena gets another chance.

Soccer player Onodera is through! As is a sports instructor. And another Idoling member.

Now it's Makoto Ogawa's group.

So if you're not famous and your group loses, you get more screen time!

Here they go! I could have caught the names but I'm lazy.

Ogawa is right off! But let's watch a commercial first. Or two.

Why are a bunch of underage comic strip characters selling cars?

People still care about Pokemon?


Ogawa is up! Whoops. Someone finally fell into the water. Not Ogawa though.

They should make the pathway thinner to make it harder. Or spin them around longer. I mean, I know someone has to win but whatever.

2nd Stage! Or Stage 2. Or 2nd Stage! Make up your minds!

A bunch of older obstacles are used here. They have three minutes and thirty seconds. That seems excessive to me. Makoto thinks that there's enough time for Asami to clear.

I can see a lot of people failing here.

Mika Kagoshima is up first! Jump. YES! NO! She was on then off. That freaks everyone out. Timing is important! No interview for her.

Gal with four kids is next! The kids are there. Not a good sign. And she doesn't have the timing! And hits the water!

Shiho Onodera is next! Yes! She's the first! Three logs. OK! Return of the course navigation graphic! Ball steps. NO! Her foot just caught the water. You are out! She tried to jump way too early.

Makoto Ogawa is up next! Here she goes. Jump. Yes! Commercials.


Ogawa is through! Three logs. Balls. Taking her time. NO! Took her time on the first step then rushed the second.

Erika Tomooka of Idoling is up next. Jump. Yes! Three logs. Balls. Yes! Platform walk. Halfway through. Slowly. Slowly. Almost there. Yes! Through! The number on her shirt is her Idoling number by the way. Barrel Roll. NO! Couldn't get it started.

Asami Nagano is next! Jump first. Yes! The Lady Nagano moves on. Three logs. Ball Steps. Slowly. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. One more and YES! She's through. Platform steps. Cut ahead! Almost there. Yes! Barrel Roll. Hey, Takuya Kawahara. CMs first.

Hey, Makoto. Unless you want your child to suffer permanent neck damage let's see some head support while you're watching your wife.


Here we go. NO! And that's it for Makoto Nagano's screen time! And Nagano laughs! And I heard Shingo laughing at her too!

Let's see some others fail.

Miki Hara is next! OUCH. She fell on the slide. Never seen that happen before.

Next is long name lady! Yes! Three logs. Balls. Yes! Platform coming up next. Slowly. NO! Yeah, once you start losing it there's no going back.

Let's see some more fail! Lots more fail!

Sumiko Nishioka is up next!

Stop! CM time!


Jump. NO! She slipped on the slide too! Ouch.

Saori Amano is up next! Jump. Yes! Almost didn't make it. Balls. No one has made it yet. Platform steps. Whoa! She just blows past them. Barrel Roll. Can she do it? NO! She started going backwards.

Yeah, don't wear white at SASUKE or KUNOICHI.

How many times can we hear Playboy or Playmate of the Year this time?

What was THAT interview all about?

Sara Jean Underwood! Here she goes. Jump. Yes! Three logs. Balls coming up. NO! She rushed it and hit the water. Too bad for YOU G4.

Shingo Yamamoto! His girl is still around! The Chickens are Revolting!

Sayaka Okamoto is next! Here we go. Jump. Yes! CMs.

I guess she gets his theme by default.

Back by the way.

Jump! Yes! Three logs. Balls coming up. Shingo shouts advice! She waves him off! Halfway there. Yes! Platforms. Shingo says go at your own pace! She's a bit busy right now Shingo. Through! Barrel Roll coming up. Looking good. Yes! Our first! Area Six! She has to walk across three poles of wood that get thinner. About a minute left though. Oh wait, the last one is pipe. Needs to hurry. NO! Shingo is upset! You're fired! Darn. She was so close.

Many have tried! None have passed!

Miku Asai is next! She's a wakeboarder. Jump. Yes! Cut ahead. Platform. Yes! Cut ahead. Barrel Roll. NO!

More fail.

You Nakao! She's in the Muscle Musical. Cut ahead to the Barrel Roll. Poles. Last one...NO! She does a full flip into the water!

Inoue is out too! Wow, is ANYONE going to make it?

Sachiyo Yamada! She plays lacrosse. Can she be the first? Jump. Yes! Three logs. Balls. Whoa! Losing it. She's OK! Back on track. Halfway there. May need to pick up the pace though. Platforms. Cut ahead. Halfway through. Almost there. Four more. Yes! Barrel Roll coming up. Yes! Can she do it? The first two poles have a rope in the middle. The last doesn't. Here she goes. Can she be the first? Yes! As the time goes red! She's our first!

One out of thirty!

Hey, in the back you can see a platform with the numbers one through ten. Will there even be that many?

Rie Komiya! She's next. She failed the Final Stage in the 5th KUNOICHI.

Jump. YES! Logs. Ball steps. She has her arms out. BECAUSE SHE HAS BALANCE! Whoa! Almost lost it. Back up. Back on track. Halfway though. Yes! Platform walk. Arms outstretched. May need to pick up the pace but I'm not the one doing it so your mileage may vary with that advice. Over halfway. Last three. Yes! Barrel Roll coming up. Bet she makes it to the Final. Barrel is no problem! First pole. Second pole. Third one. This is the killer. Needs to hurry though. Yes! With sixteen seconds left!

That's two!

Tomomi Arimatsu! She's next. Cut ahead. Yes! That's three. I think she's in the Muscle Musical too but I'll have to check.

Ayako Inada! She's definitely in the Muscle Musical. Jump. Logs. Balls. Yes! Platform coming up. Halfway through. Wait! She's doing the splits but there's no way she'll get back up. And there she goes. Mother said there'd be days like this. Good thing she wore the clean leotard.

Yuka Kato! She's a field hockey player. Cut ahead to the Platform. Last four steps. Yes! Barrel Roll. Slowly. Not getting a lot of speed. Almost there. Yes! Tonda! Poles coming up. About a minute left. One. Two. Three...thirty seconds left. Getting ready. Yes!

That's four!

Satomi Kadoi! She's next. Jump! Logs. We ain't cutting to a com...oh wait. Yes, we are.


Jump. Yes! Logs. Moving quickly. Balls. Yes! Platform. Halfway there. Whoa..slipped at the end. Through! Barrel Roll. Little too fast! But yes! Last part. Lots of time left. Almost two minutes. Last pole. Look at that electrical tape holding it together. It's high tech! Yes! She's through!

And...that's everyone! Only five are through!

Stage Three! Or the 3rd Stage! Only three make it through. The Flying Roll! It's a vault over a pole using a trampoline. Similar to what they did at the SASUKE 22 Trials. We go until there are three!

1m 60cm.

Sachiyo Yamada is through! Will this be a never-ending battle of Monster Box proportions?

Rie Komiya is next. No problem!

Yuka Kato, you're up! Yes!

Tomomi Arimatsu is up next. Yes! Geez, I hope SOMEONE is getting a profit off the music because they are using it a lot.

Satomi Kadoi is next. No problem!

1m 80cm.

Sachiyo Yamada..NO! But she has another chance. Two chances per height it appears.

Komiya is up next but let's have some beer...commercials that is.


Komiya at her first chance at 1m 80cm. Yes!

Yuka Kato's first try..NO!  She'll get another try.

Tomomi Arimatsu...Yes! No problem. Takai!

Satomi Kadoi..yep!

1m 80cm.

Wait. Those dreaded commercials strike again!

1m 80cm. Second try.

Sachiyo Yamada...NO! That's it for her! Thanks for playing!

That's one down.

I should point out that it's raining at this point.

Yuka Kato. So if she misses, then what? Wait. Here she goes. NO!!!!!!!!!

Just like the Monster Box, it comes down to technique.

And just like that! We have three in the Final Stage!

700 have tried!

Yuuko Mizuno! She's never done it! Ayako Miyake! She's done it three times! Maho Tanaka! She failed the 3rd Stage last time!

Let's take a break before they all attempt the Final Stage.


Final Stage!

Survival Climbing! Ladder into a rock climb thingy.

They have 60 seconds.

Let's go to the top!

There are three! And they are serious! They also work for Monster 9 but that's beside the point!

Rie Komiya is first.

Here she goes! She takes about ten seconds to get to the Climbing Wall. Slowing down now. She's halfway up. Lots of time. This is the trouble part, switching from wall to wall.

But we have time to fill! So let's cut to some commercials.



Up the ladder. On the Climbing Wall now. Halfway up. Thirty seconds left. Needs to make the switch. Is she losing it? Twenty seconds. She's there! Go! Time is going red! Yes! With 3.7 seconds left!

Kanzenseiha! Not that this is an unusual thing at KUNOICHI but hey, new person!

And her Muscle Musical mates congratulate her!

Tomomi Arimatsu is up next! Does seeing someone doing it put more or less pressure on her?

Here she goes! Climb is slower than R...wait. Is that a commercial on the horizon?


Back at the beginning again. Pace is behind Komiya's. At the switch. This is the part that takes time. Needs to hurry. She's there! go! Hurry! Almost there! Time is going red! YES!!

5.9 seconds left!

That's two! Wait. A-HA. She touched the side of the board. NO COMPLETION FOR YOU. Course out!

No wonder they didn't acknowledge that she's a Muscle Musical member. She brings shame to the company!

Satomi Kadoi! She's our last and final challenger!

But let's get our last and final commercial!


Let's see if Kadoi can do it! She had the fastest time during the 2nd Stage.

Her hands are powdered up!

She FLIES up the ladder. Climbing Wall. At the switch. Can she do it? Yes! Lots of time! Wow. Almost there. Yes! With 21.4 seconds left. Yowza.


She gets the final interview since she, in the words of the kids "pwned" that stage. But hey, don't forget Rie.

That was different! The format may need some tweaking though. It looked like they were planning on more people reaching the 3rd Stage so they had to drag out the Final Stage. It was an interesting (for me anyway) mix of practically every type of Monster 9 programming you could think of. There was a SASUKE Trial like 1st Stage. A typical 2nd and Final but they were broken up by a Sportsman No.1 like 3rd Stage. Some may not like the head to head competition but the show had been off for two years and this is kind of a re-boot. And since the ratings were not so hot to begin with, it makes sense that they wanted to shake things up.

However, the course was a bit too easy for the Muscle Musical people. Every Muscle Musical member made it to the 2nd Stage and three made it to the Final Stage. And yes, Arimatsu is a Muscle Musical member, despite them not acknowledging her as such.

The ratings will tell if this was a successful re-boot or not. Let's hope they were good, not so much for the change in format (purists will probably dislike it), but because KUNOICHI being successful can be good for SASUKE and Sportsman No. 1. Bring back Geinojin Sportsman dammit!

KUNOICHI 209 The Sort of Live Blog!

Oh for the love of...

There are links pointing here already but go here instead.

209. Jeez.

Free Tomomi Arimatsu!

Friday, October 02, 2009

KUNOICHI 2009 Obstacles KUNOICHI 2009 障害物

KUNOICHI 2009 Obstacles via MBS (Mainichi Broadcasting).

The Japanese is from MBS. I'm pretty sure all the pronunciation and names I wrote are wrong but whatever. I Monster9 changes them but whatever.


1st Stage
Groups of four have to go through seven areas. The top two advance.

1.不安走 Fuansou Uneasy Race
2.丸太橋 Marutabashi Log Bridge
3.吊天棒 Tsurutenbou Suspended Pole
4.鉄条網 Tetsujoumou Wire Entanglement
5.舞乱跳 Mairantobu Swinging Jump
6.筏渡し Ikadawatashi Raft Transfer
7.昇網壁 Noburoamikabe Net Wall Climb


The repechage!
After the groups of four, people will be on a turntable for twenty seconds then they have to cross a 50 centimeter beam bridge.

2nd ステージ

2nd Stage
One by one.
The contestants have to go through six areas and reach the goal to move on to the 3rd Stage.

1.大跳躍 Daichouyaku Giant Leap
2.三連跳 Sanrentobu Triple Jump
3.舞踊石 Buyouishi Dancing Stones
4.倒連板 Tourenita Board Walk
5.円柱乗 Enchujou Barrel Roll
6.舞乱道 Mairanmichi Swinging Road


Third Stage
The contestants will use a trampoline to jump over a pole until only three are left.


Final Stage
The fifteen meter Survival Climb. They clear if they complete it in the given time.

Monday, September 28, 2009

SASUKE 23 Obstacles SASUKE 2009秋 障害物

Click on the thumbnails to see the photos.

1st Stage, 120 seconds to clear

1. 十二段跳び Jyunidantobi

2. カーテンスライダー Curtain Slider

3. ロッググリップ Log Grip

4. ジャンピングスパイダー Jumping Spider

5. ハーフパイプアタック Half-Pipe Attack

6. そり立つ壁 Soritatsu Kabe

7. スライダージャンプ Slider Jump

8. ターザンロープ Tarzan Rope

9. ロープラダー Rope Ladder

2nd Stage, 70 seconds to clear

1. ダウンヒルジャンプ Downhill Jump

2. サーモンラダー Salmon Ladder

3. スティックスライダー Stick Slider

4. アンステーブルブリッジ Unstable Bridge

5. メタルスピン Metal Spin

6. ヴォールリフティング Wall Lifting

3rd Stage, No time limit

1. アームリング Arm Ring

2. 下りランプグラスパー Kudari Lamp Grasper

3. デビルステップス Devil Steps

4. 新クリフハンガー Shin-Cliff Hanger

5. ジャンピングバー Jumping Bar

6. ハングクライミング Hang Climbing

7. スパイダーフリップ Spider Flip

8. グライディンぐリング Gliding Ring

Final Stage, 40 seconds

1. ヘブンリーラダー Heavenly Ladder

2. Gロープ GRope

Sunday, September 27, 2009

SASUKE 23 SASUKE 2009秋 The Sort of Live Blog!

Power! Speed! Balance! Only those with all three of these qualities can become the next Miss Univ...wait.

Power! Speed! Balance! Only those with all three of these qualities can become the next American Idol!

That's not right either, I think.

So You Think You Can Beat SASUKE? America's Best Ninja Warriors!

I think I'm getting my wires crossed.

Since 1997...


2200 have tried! Only two have ever completed! That's 0.09 percent! Gosh, it's hard!

Don't forget that the 23rd Annual Ube International Sculpture Competition is soon! 第23回 UBEビエンナーレ'09 現代日本彫刻展

Here we go!

Last time! All of the All-Stars failed! オールスターズ 全滅!

It's SASUKE 2009秋!

Nagano! Shingo! (with his personalize SASUKE towel) Yamada! Takeda!

Yuuji Urushihara!

Many comedians! And entertainers! And athletes!

The Final Stage!  There are people! With their arms crossed! Now their fists are in the air! SASUKE~!

1st Stage

Let's go! It's a 130 meters long.

1. Satomi Kohei 里見恒平 is first! Jyunidantobi! 十二段跳び Curtain Slider! カーテンスライダー! Log Grip! Yes! Good showing so far! Jumping Spider...YES! GO! GO! He played in NFL Europe. Spider Walk OK. Half-Pipe Attack coming up. NO!

5. Katsuhide Torisawa! 鳥澤克秀! He ripped off his clothes! Jyunidantobi!! NO!

Emi Sekisui. 関水えみ. She's a girl. She has dogs. NO! She kind of just tried to run all over the place.

10. Hosshan! ほっしゃん Here he goes. Jyunidantobi. 十二段跳び! O! Ouch. Did he hit his face?

12. Spinboy Aichi! Or Aichi Oono. 大野愛地 He's in the Muscle Musical. Whoa! Almost didn't make it. Curtain Slider. Yes! Log Grip. NO! He couldn't hold on.

Eiko Kano wants to quit already.

17. Eiko Kano 狩野英孝 is next! Will his suit get wet? Of course. He went like three steps or so.

19. NOBU! He's also in the Muscle Musical. He's a double dutch specialist. Steps. OK. Everyone is taking it slow there. Curtain Slider is OK. Log Grip coming up. Checking. YES! Jumping Spider is a NO!

Sayaka Nakamura 中村明花 is next! She's a reporter on 王様のブランチ. Can she..NO! Right in the middle area.

Fukutarao Umemoto 梅本福太郎 (number 6) no. Log Grip. Yutti ゆってぃ (11) No on the steps. Atsushi Aoki 青木篤志 of Pro Wrestling Nanami Tsukamoto 塚本奈々美 falls on the Curtain Slider. Talento Kurumi Kojima 小島くるみ falls on the steps too. Oonishi Lion. 大西リオン NO! (On the Curtain Slider).

20. Junichi Miyashita. 宮下 純一 WHOA! Good thing he has long legs. Curtain Slider is OK. Log Grip. NO! He was off from the very beginning.

Rie Komiya 小宮理英 is next! She made it to the final of KUNOICHI before. What will she do here? 120 seconds by the way. Steps. NO problem! Curtain Slider. Log Grip. Taking a while. Yes! She failed here before. Jumping Spider. Yes! Spider Walk coming up. Slowly. Slowly. Taking a while. Half-Pipe Attack...NO! Almost!

22. Tetsuro Degawa 出川哲朗 is next. And the shirt is off. Yeah yeah. Two steps and done!

Shot of the second stage for some reason.

38. Aoki Creepy Sculpture Guy. 青木保夫 No!

40. Masami Harashima 原島雅美...NO!

Minoru Kuramochi! 倉持稔 Here he g....wait. There we go.

Beauty Kokubu ビューティーこくぶ (28, steps), Yasumasa Koniwa 小庭康正 (29, Log Grip) and Hori ホリ (30, Curtain Slider) don't make it. They are all monomane specialists.

Momoko Tani 谷桃子 can't get past the steps.

Muscle Musical member Tomomi Arimatsu 有松知美 also fails the Half-Pipe Attack.

31. Takuya Kawahara 川原拓也sweats for a living or is in the Muscle Musical. Take your pick. Steps. Curtain Slider is no problem. Can he do it? Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider...Yes! Quite high too. Spider Walk is...squeaky. Half-Pipe Attack...Ye..YES! Soritatsu Kabe. Getting set. ONE TIME! Slider Jump...he's the first. He failed here last time! YES!  He goes over. He has to hurry. GO GO GO! Tarzan Rope...The time is going red...jikan ga nai! Jikan ga nai! Nakatta!!!!!!!

Ninja Warrior! There were ten of them. I guess this is the first.

Ryk Maverick! Or umm...Ryk Felger? I have no idea how to turn リック・フェルガ. He designs jewelry. Yes! He was number 10 by the way. Curtain Slider is no problem. Close to the Edit! He got tied up on the Slider Jump!

Number 9, Jupe Katana ジュープ・カタナ times out on the net portion of the Slider Jump.

Number 8, Shane Daniels シェーン・ダニエルズ got to the Tarzan Rope too late.

Number 7, Jeff Iida ジェフ・イイダ timed out on the Soritatsu Kabe.

Caine Sinclair ケイン・シンクレア....Can he do it? So close..NO! He was six.

The top five are next!

42. Richard King! リチャード・キング He's a Free Runner. And a stuntman. He was 5th. Up to the Log Grip. Sure looks like he's participating in his underwear. Jumping Spider! No problem. Smooth run so far. Half-Pipe Attack. Wait..YES! Richard...KINGU! Soritatsu Kabe is on the first try. Potential! Slider Jump...Whoa...lots and lots of time. Here he goes...


Back! Let's see his Slider Jump again. Lots of time. Underwear man. Underwear. Here he goes. Lots of time. Tarzan Rope. Up...can he do it! YES! THAT'S IT! Cue Yagyu-Gaiden! We've got one!

He's tired but happy!

SASUKE Trials! Gosh they look so damn young. Six made it.

45. Naoya Tajima! Steps. Curtain Slider. Log Grip coming up. Taking his time. Yes! Jumping Spider. Yes! A little awkward but he's through the Walk. Half-Pipe Attack. YES! Soritatsu Kabe. First time no. YES! Second time is the charm. Slider Jump...Yes! He goes under. Lots of time. Tarzan Rope. Rope Ladder. Can he be number two? YES! YES!

That's two!

47. Koji Hashimoto! 橋本亘司 YES! Edit but YES!

49. Satoshi Nakamura! 中村哲 YES!

50. Jun Sato! 佐藤惇 YES!

Jeez. Don't give them their day in the sun TBS.

51. Takayuki Kinoshita 木下隆行 of TKO! Here he goes. YES! He actually passed the steps. Curtain Slider...UH OH. Huh..OK. Didn't think that could happen.

56. Takashi Fukunishi! 福西崇史 He played soccer. Steps. Curtain Slider. He certainly looks...happy to be there. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider. Yes! Spider Walk...



Spider Walk is iffy...He's losing his grip...He needs to get higher...NO! Aw. Monkiki sighting!

Man, I want one of those towels.

53. Yoshiki Itou! 伊藤圭槻 He was the Miyazaki Sportsman No. 1 winner which is why he gets spray from Nagano. Steps. Curtain Slider. Log Grip. Jumping Spider. Spider Walk. Half-Pipe Attack! All yes! Soritatsu Kabe! First time! Slider Jump. Needs to shave his pits. Yes! He goes over. Stuck in the net. Still has time though. Tarzan Rope. Here he goes! Can he do it? Time is going red...YES!

Wow! That's six! And he gets a hug from Nagano! What a lucky guy.

61. Takeshi Nadagi なだぎ武 is next! Steps! NO! Ouch.

Ayumu Katou 加藤歩 fails the Log Grip. The members of License ライセンス are done early. Takafumi Imoto 井本貴史 on the Curtain Slider and Kazuhiro Fujiwara 藤原一裕 on the Steps. As is Gari Nakajima ガリ中島 of Tengen テンゲン on the Log Grip. One Savanna member Shigeo Takahashi 高橋茂雄 goes down on the Steps.

70. Masumi Yagi 八木真澄 of Savanna! Steps! Curtain Slider. OK! Log Grip. Gosh he's tall. Yes! Jumping Spider! NO! He was up then down.

71. Hey hey hey. Katsumi Yamada! Cue the crying clip! It's been nine SASUKEs since he passed the 1st Stage. And it's time for Genya, an intro that's just too cool for him. Can he finally do it? Can he finally break the curse? Steps. OK. Curtain Slider. Whoa....Log Grip. OK. Jumping Spider. Spider Walk as we go to commercial.

It's hard to work up any passion about this guy anymore.

Only 122000 yen to go to Angkor Wat!

Is the legend over?


Half-Pipe Attack...Yes! I mean..OK! Soritatsu Kabe. Taking his time. First Second try. Wait. Try again. NO! Gee. Take your time Katsumi. Did he get hurt again. YES! With one arm. Slider Jump...He looks pained. NO!



Ah. Looks like he hurt his ankle on the first Soritatsu Kabe attempt.

73. Brian Orosco! ブライアン・オロスコ! Steps. Curtain Slider. Log Grip coming up. He was the American number 2. Jumping Spider. YES! He looks serious as he FLIES through the Walk. Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! He's blitzing the course. Soritatsu Kabe first try! Slider Jump. Still lots of time! Here he goes. The final stretch. Tarzan Rope. Slowly. Here he goes. Should make it no problem! YES! That's two from America.

74. Genki Sudo! HE'S DOING THE ROBOT FOR YOUR PLEASURE! Here he goes. Style kankenai! NO! He would have coursed out anyway.

75. Shinsengumi Rien's  Tetsuji Sakakibara 榊原徹士. Shut up Shimada. Steps. Curtain Slider. Log Grip coming up. Dammit, I hate Shinsuke Shimada. Yes! Jumping Spider coming up. NO! He didn't get his feet up in time.

76. Shinsengumi's Hiroya Kunisada 國定拓弥 as we go to commercial...


Kunisada gets through the Steps and Curtain..ONLY TO FAIL AT THE LOG GRIP. Oh well. Sell them CDs boys!

79. Jordan Jovtchev! He's small. Steps. Curtain Slider. Leznig looks on! Log Grip. Jumping Spider. Yes! Man, he's tiny. Slowly...Half-Pipe Attack coming up. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. First try! Wow. Slider Jump. He looks worried. YES! WHOA! He dropped down but caught the net! Yes! Does he have enough time? Here he goes. Ten seconds...HURRY! NO! NO! Hard to say what cost him the time. So close.

80. Monkiki! Akira Omori! 大森晃 AKA Monkiki (or Monkickey) モンキッキー He hasn't been to SASUKE in 8 years! Wow. That's a long time. Here he goes. Steps. Uh OH. YES! Curtain Slider. Log Grip. He knows he has to make up the time. Jumping Spider. YE..NO! Ah. His right foot didn't get it. Darn.

Taiji ishimori 石森太二 fails the Jumping Spider. And pro triathlon guy Ryoichi Yamamoto 山本涼一 doesn't take to the Curtain Slider too well. Handballer Tetsuya Kadoyama 門山哲也 muffs the Jumping Spider, Tomoki Kitagawa 北川智規 (81) misses the net on the Slider Jump. Kairi Kouchi 高智海吏 times up on the Rope Ladder.

84. Kenji Takahashi! 高橋賢次! Poor guy always falls to the knife. I know he's not that pretty but still...anyway...He gets to the Tarzan Rope with lots of time. Here he goes! Should make it with no problem! YES! That'! That's eight!

89. Wakky ワッキー is up next! Gee...the last Geinojin Sportsman was in 2007 so he still gets the title? He does some comedy with Oonishi Lion. He also gets the King Kull music that Miyazaki got. Here he goes. Steps. Curtain Slider. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider! Yes! He's up..can he do it? Spider Walk is OK. Half-Pipe Attack...Ye...WHOA! He fell but he was OK.



Soritatsu Kabe...First time! No wait! He couldn't hold on. One more time! Slider Jump...He looks worried. NO! He didn't even reach the net.

91. Leszek Blanik レゼク・ブラニク! Steps. He won a gold medal, ya know. Curtain Slider. NO! Oops. He didn't quite make it to the platform.

We see the ones who are left.

92. Yoshiyuki Okuyama! 奥山義行! His kids are there. Steps. Curtain Slider. Log Grip. He's moving with purpose. Jumping Spider. Yes! He should really reconsider his color scheme though. Up to the Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe! First time! Slider Jump...Yes! was like he was just walking up to some steps. Lots of time! He should make it. Will we get double digit clears for the first time since the renewal? Yes! Clear! Yagyu-Gaiden!

93. The chickens are revolting!'s just Shingo Yamamoto! He's failed the 1st Stage five times in a row. Steps. But CMs first.


Steps. Curtain Slider. Log Grip...oops..the announcer mentions "careless miss." Don't jinx it! Everything else is good. Yes! Half-Pipe Attack was no problem. Soritatsu Kabe. YES! On the second try. Can he do it? Slider Jump. YES! He goes over. Lots of time. Can he do it? C'mon! There goes the hat! Tarzan rope. GO GO GO GO GO! Yes! YES! YES! Yatta!!!!

And that's ten!

Hey! Staff boy! Get Shingo his towel! He's happy!

The pressure is on Yuuji!!!

Shingo gets hugs!

94. Lee Yen Chi! リー・エンチ Steps. Curtain Slider...WHOA! He didn't get a running start. Log Grip. Still has lots of time. But he can't take his time. Jumping Spider. He flies through. He knows the clock is going. Half-Pipe Attack. Soritatsu Kabe. No! Yes! Second try. Slider Jump coming up. YES! He can't take his time though. He should have gone under. Hurry! Hurry! Tarzan Rope! Hurry! Hurry! Time is red! YES!!!

That's eleven!

95. And now it's the man TBS would like to be White SASUKE Jesus, Levi Meeuwenberg リーヴァイ・ミューエンバーグ.

Steps. Curtain Slider. OK. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider as he hot dogs over the platform. Half-Pipe Attack coming up. Soritatsu Kabe. YES! Slider Jump..Wait. CMs.

ELT in Yamaguchi!


Slider Jump. Yes! Lots of time as the crowd starts a chant as he does a flip. Tarzan Rope. Yes! And that's three! And he does another flip.

Nagano and Takeda are like..OK.

96. That body! It's Hitoshi Kanno! 菅野仁志! Steps. Curtain Slider. UH OH...Whew. Log Grip. He still has lots of time. Yes! Did he hurt himself? Jumping Spider. Yes! Spider Walk. Half-Pipe Attack. WHOA! NO! He had to take a while to get to the platform! First time up the Soritatsu Kabe. Slider Jump. He goes out! He should have enough time...about 30 seconds left. Don't rush man...just do it. YES!

Shingo is all smiles (because he already passed) but Toshihiro Takeda is FOCUSED!

There's the slap (which made Takeda cringe)!

97. Toshihiro Takeda! 竹田敏浩! Here he goes. BUT NOW THE NEWS.


Steps. Curtain Slider. Yes! Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider. Last time..Jumping SPIDEEEEEEEEEEEEER. Yes. Half-Pipe Attack. Soritatsu-Kabe. Slider Jump. He goes over. Yikes. Kind of just dives into the net. Tarzan Rope. Lots of time! Here he goes! He's all smiles now!

Only three left.

98. Hiromichi Sato! 佐藤弘道! He finally lived up to his last time. But we need to get those ads in people!


Steps. Curtain Slider coming up. Log Grip. OK. Jumping Spider. WHOA! Abunakkata! NO! He didn't have the Spider Walk. Doushita! His family was disappointed.

Speaking of shoes...

99. Yuuji Urushihara! 漆原裕治 He's feeling the pressure. Makoto tells him to try being number 100. You tell him! Let's go!

Steps. Curtain Slider. Man, these runs are like a commercial for Descente sportswear. Jumping Spider. No problem. Half-Pipe Attack. WHOA! Same thing as Kanno but he's through! Soritatsu Kabe! YES! On the second time. Slider Jump...He goes over. If he can get through this he'll have a spot on SASUKE forever I think. Tarzan Rope. He's slow but he'll still make it...Thumbs up! YES!

Hey! The New Stars get all 100% through! Although when there are only two people that's a bit easier.

100. Cue the Last Battle! It's the KING OF SASUKE. Makoto Nagano. 長野誠! Here he goes! Steps. But first, a word from our sponsors.

Awww yeah...the Jinro commercial.


Steps. Curtain Slider. Log Grip coming up. Wow...the pace feels faster for some reason. Log Grip is no problem. Jumping Spider. Yes! He FLIES through. Half-Pipe Attack. Whoa! YES! Soritatsu Kabe. No! He must have slipped...Slider Jump...Douda...NO!!! Hold on...something happened. Malfunction!

IIIIIIIInteresting. So there was a malfunction during the Slider Jump so he has to do it again. And Takeda and Yamamoto's reaction was to LAUGH. LAUGH AT MAKOTO NAGANO.

Here we go again! He has a new shirt! Steps. Curtain Slider. yes! Log Grip. Jumping Spider. And again he flies through. Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. YES! On the second try. Slider Jump. There were problems before...YES! He goes over. Tarzan Rope. Lots of time as the crowd chants his name. Yes! YES!

16 through! King of SASUKE. Wait...the announcer just called him Mr. SASUKE. AHAHAHA!

2nd Stage

Let's look at what's there. New obstacle! The Swing Ladder is gone, replaced by the Unstable Bridge.

42. Richard King is up first! At least he has shorts now. Downhill Jump is OK. Salmon Ladder. YES! Stick Slider. Unstable Bridge coming up. NO! Wow that looked hard.

45. Naoya Tajima! Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder. Some problems. He can't get it balanced on the rungs...NO!

47. Koji Hashimoto. Downhill Jump...WHA? What happened? GAH! He couldn't hold on.

49. Satoshi out! He used his feet.

50. Jun Sato..NO!

53. Yoshiki Itou too!

Damn. The Salmon Ladder is still the killer.

73. Brian Orosco! Can he do it? A little bit of trouble at the beginning but now he's got it. YES! He's through! Unstable Bridge. Not much time. He has to hurry! GO BRIAN! GO! NO! Damn that thing looks hard.

The eliminations are going fast and furious now.

84. Kenji Takahashi! The Salmon Ladder poses no problem for him. Unstable Bridge. YES! He did it! CMs first though.

He's the first to get past the new obstacle!

Metal Spin is no problem! And neither are the Walls! That's it! Kongo and his shaved head are into the 3rd Stage!

That's one.

92. Yoshiyuki Okuyama! Here he goes. Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder. Yes! He's through! Unstable Bridge. I think he's unsure how to do it. He needs to hurry...YES! Can he do it? Hurry! Metal Spin. Hurry! ONE! TWO! THREE! YES! WITH 2 seconds to spare!

Shingo really wants to go to the 3rd Stage!

Let's see him and his unshaved pits.

93. Shingo Yamamoto! Downhill Jump...he's never tried the Salmon Ladder before, has he? Here he goes. YES! Unstable Bridge coming up. Wow...he looked he was really going to go for that. YES! Metal Spin! He doesn't have much time!


Geez. I would worry about splinters and ruining my hands doing the Unstable Bridge.

Hurry! There goes the hat! HURRY! HURRY! HURRY! YES! And he lies there in exhaustion.

94. Lee En Chi! Salmon Ladder! Unstable Bridge...Metal Spin. NO! Dammit.

95. Levi Meeuwenberg! Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder coming up. He stopped here before. No problem! Unstable Bridge coming up. No problems! Metal Spin coming up but some commercials first.


Metal Spin is no problem! Walls. One. Two. Three. And that's three through.

96. Hitoshi Kanno! Can the new star do it again? Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder. WHOA! NO WAIT! He's still on track but he has to hurry. Unstable Bridge. Just made it. Hurry man. Hurry. Go! GO! GO! Metal Spin. YES! Walls. No problems! YES! I think he lifted it that high just to show that he could!

That's four!

97. Toshihiro Takeda! But let's look at cars and stuff first.

Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder! Yes! Unstable Bridge. Yes! Wait... YES! Metal Spin. Walls should be no problem. HAHAHA. Show-off.

That's five.

99. Yuuji Urushihar. Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder. Unstable Bridge coming up. WHOA! YES! He's though. NO! WHAT? NO! He lost his balance at the end and couldn't get back to the board. Damn.

Damn damn damn.

100. Makoto Nagano! Downhill Jump! He's the last man. Can he do it? Salmon Ladder. Yes! Unstable Bridge but let's watch something else for a few minutes, shall we?


Salmon Ladder again. Unstable Bridge. OK! Metal Spin. WHOA. OK! Yes! And he takes a leisurely lift of the walls! Those obstacles pose no obstacle!

3rd Stage.

And of course we see the Shin-Cliff Hanger. The Jumping Bars. The Hang Climbing. The Spider Flip. And then the Gliding Ring.

3rd Stage

84. Kenji Takahashi is up first. Arm Rings and Downward Lamp Grasper are no problem. Devil Steps. No problem either! Shin-Cliff Hanger. Can he do it? Here he goes...WHOA! He didn't even try to jump it. He just reached over. Wow...everyone else is just like..WTF? Levi sums it up by saying "That was different."

He just crossed his arms over and then reached out. It was ...weird.

Jumping Bars. Hang Climbing up next. Wow. No problems. Spider Grip into the Spider Flip. He's getting ready for the Spider Flip. That's kind of a long way to fall. Here he goes...He can see the Final Stage. YES! Yikes...he looked scared.

Gliding Ring...Here we go...His mom is there! You can't disappoint mom! Here we go..NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He was on then he was off.

Dear Kongo, You are out of the will. Love, Mom.

Oh hey. I guess the Gliding Ring wasn't that easy.

92. Yoshiyuki Okuyama is up next! Arm Rings are no problem. Downward Lamp Grasper. OK! Devil Steps coming up next. Would he be the oldest finalist? His wife and kids are there but hey, he already disappointed them last time. Shin-Cliff Hanger. YES! WOW! He did it! WOW!

Jumping Bars. OK! Hang Climbing! OK..wait. OK! Spider Grip. Spider Flip...HERE HE GOES. NO!!!!!!!!!

Hey, that wasn't that easy either.


93. The chickens are back! It's Shingo Yamamoto! It's been three years since he made it to the 3rd Stage. Oy vey! What the heck happened? He had problems on the Arm Rings. He couldn't hold on and had to drop into the water.

95. Levi Meeuwenberg is up next. Arm Rings. Downward Lamp Grasper. Devil Steps. Some editing here. Shin-Cliff Hanger coming up. Here he goes! At the slant. NO! And that was it for the United States of America.

And then he does a corkscrew into the water.

96. Hitoshi Kanno! Here we go! He is the last hope of the new stars (all two of them). Arm Rings. Downward Lamp Grasper. OK! Take your time man. Devil Steps. Going to take a breather here. Shin-Cliff Hanger. At the slant...YES!! And CMs.

Jumping Bar, Hang Climbing into the Spider Grip then Spider Flip coming up. Jumping Bar is OK! Hang Climbing. He needs to redeem himself here. YES! At the Spider Flip and holding on for dear life.

Spider Flip. Getting ready. Seeing someone else fail it always plays in your mind. YES! HE DID IT! Going into the Gliding Ring. Now he's on the Green Bar of Safety!

Gliding Ring. He gets ready. Here he goes! Pushed back a bit. CMs.

Back. Getting ready. Swinging. YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

That's two SASUKEs in a row a new person has made it to the final. Hugs for dad! Unlike Kongo, Hitoshi is IN the will.

97. Toshihiro Takeda! The pressure is on!

Arm Rings. Downward Lamp Grasper. OK! Devil Steps. At the turn. OK! No problem! Shin-Cliff Hanger coming up as he uses the spray that pays. Here he goes. At the slant. Swinging. YES! No problem-o. This is the tough area. Three parts with no rest in between. Jumping Bar. OK! Into the Hang Climbing. He stopped here before. He uses his feet (which is legal). Can he do it? He's shaking. OK! On to the Spider Grip. Shaky shaky. OK! C'mon! Get up then you can rest!




He's UP! At the Spider Flip. Don't rush. Here he goes. NOOOOOOO! He probably shouldn't have stuck his foot out like that.

Damn. Makoto Nagano is alone again..until Hitoshi Kanno goes up to wish him luck.

100. And now..the KING OF SASUKE. MR. SASUKE! No, not that one. It's Makoto Nagano!

Arm Rings are absolutely no problem. Neither is the Downward Lamp Grasper. Devil Steps. Shin-Cliff Hanger. He has failed and passed this. Here he goes. He doesn't have Kongo arms so he has to do the jump.


Jumping Bars coming up. One. Two. Three. Four. Going into the Hang Climbing now. No problem! Straight into the Spider Flip. Easy as pie! No wasted motion. No struggling. Getting ready. Yes!

On to the Green Bar of Safety!

Getting ready.

Here he goes. Swinging. YES! YES! YES! YES! That's two!

And now he's all smiles. The crowd is all cheers! As is the wife and his boss who is thinking *Ka-ching! Ka-ching!*

Wow. And it comes down to the All-Stars versus the New Stars.


As the kids would say..this is epic.

Final Stage

And then there were two.

The All-Star versus the New Star. The Veteran vs the Kid. The...OK, I'll stop now.

Let's look at the past history of the Final Stage. Akiyama. Nagano. Yuuji was the first man to break the new era Final Stage code.

Shingo's shirt says Surrender the Booty! Awesome.

Unlike before, there is a male reporter at the top. Will it make a difference in our competitor's motivation?

Cue the overly dramatic music!

96. Hitoshi Kanno is first!

Here we go! Forty seconds to the top! But of course we get commercials.


Here we go! (Again). Heavenly Ladder. The ladder is 13 meters. He's on to the rope. Go man GO! Oy...the time is already going read...Yikes. He barely got up there.

Damn. That sucked.

They let him hang there for a moment to let the shame of failing until bringing him up for the interview.

Of course that leaves more pressure on Nagano.

There's the slap.

He's wearing an EMS shirt. He will bring the All-Stars to the heavens with him!

Except Yamada that is.

100. Makoto Nagano! Here he goes! Climbing much faster than Kanno I think. On to the rope. Can he do it? He's moving fast! Here he goes! But before know the drill.

Depending on how long this last commercial break may tell us if Nagano makes it or not.


Five minutes left in the show.

Back to the beginning. Do it for the child Makoto!

Heavenly Ladder.

On to the rope with twenty seconds.

Here he goes. Half way up.

Time is red. Almost. He looks so close...


Damn. Darn. Well now.

16 through the 1st Stage. 7 passed the 2nd. 2 made it to the Final Stage. Not much more they can ask for, really.

Important show because of all the little cliques that we had to pay attention to. There were the ten Americans: 3 pass the 1st Stage, 1 passes the 2nd Stage. The six SASUKE Trial Qualifiers (STQers): 4 pass the 1st Stage, none pass the 2nd. The New Stars had just Yuuji and Kanno but they both get past the 1st Stage. Yuuji unfortunately doesn't make it past the 2nd but Kanno goes all the way to the Final. The All-Stars had three out of the four that were there go to the 3rd Stage and one to the Final. Plus repeat people like Okuyama and Lee both got past the 1st Stage.

It seems like G4's idea seemed to pay off although two of them had been there before. The Trials seemed to pay off in that the people that made it did a good job and most of them are quite young. The new stars showed they weren't a fluke. And constantly ripping the All-Star's IALAC into pieces seemed to motivate them.

Overall, a great show! Exciting and definitely interesting. Should do well in the ratings and ensure at least another year.

And don't forget...


SASUKE 23 Navi Sort of Live Blog! SASUKE 2009秋 SASUKEナビ!

Thanks to the magic of the internet I am able to view SASUKE Navi once again!

Will we see anyone new? Any surprises? Here we go!

And we start by recapping the EPIC FAIL~! of the All-Stars in 22.

And our first new star! Kanno Hitoshi! 菅野仁志!

And our second! Urushihara Yuuji! 漆原裕治 Sell them shoes!

So close.

The average age of the All-Stars versus the new stars! The new stars (~!) have an average of 22.6 while the All-Stars average 37.8.

And we see everyone training! Nagano! Takeda! Yamamoto! Urushihara! Kanno!

That's umm...2 new stars 新星 versus 5 All-Stars/Heroes 英雄. So if they all met in the back parking lot of Midoriyama Studio, I'm going to have to go with the All-Stars. Then again, Yamada and Shingo might slip and fall before the fight even starts and Akiyama wouldn't be able to see until they got really really close to him. Still, experience over youth, I say.

That day! Everyone has to sign in!

Takahashi sighting! You could see his shaved head right next to Shingo.

Kanno got 95? Wait, 96.

Shots of many comedians. Shut up Hosshan.

Kinoshita of TKO. He wants to be the best Boke!

Savanna! Will both of them compete? Ow..talking about Mr. SASUKE. Not a good sign. Then again, he's referring to the Yamada gloves incident.

Kano Eiko does his schtick.

Nadagi Takeshi does his.

Oonishi Lion! Yay!

Yutti is useless people.

Katou Ayumu.

Gari Nakajima.

Three monomane specialists! Hori is in the middle. Beauty Kokubu is on the end but I have no idea who the other guy is.

Oh jeez. That's a lot of comedians.

Shut up Degawa.

Wakky! Will he get past the First Stage this time?

Super athletes! Takashi Fukunishi! Genki Sudo! Junichi Miyashita! Jordan Jochtev. Lezig Blanik!

Your アラフォ celebrities Monkiki and Hiromichi Sato.

Shinsengumi Rien members. Their single drops on the 14th.

Shinsuke Shimada is looking for a female staff member to slap.

Let's go back in time to 1997! 2200 have tried! Only TWO have completed! That's 0.09 percent. That's still higher than the interest rate you'd get a bank in Japan though.

Let's see lots and lots of fails.

The All-Stars get dramatic music! Yamada! Nagano! Yamamoto! Takeda! Akiyama! Shiratori!

Yamada fails the Jumping Spider. Shing fails the Half-Pipe Walk. Takeda fails the Jumping Spider. Nagano fails the Slider Jump.

Hitoshi Kanno! He's buff. He made it to the 3rd Stage.

Yuuji Urushihara! He made it to the Final Stage!

Let's see the All-Stars at the Maguro Festival!

Nagano does some gymnastics.

It's an All-Star meeting! I hope they're voting Yamada out.

Only Yamada stayed to the end last time.

Nagano is HIP! He watches Yuuji's Final Stage run on his laptop! Mottainai ne!

Takeda watches on TV! Subarashii.

Shingo has the biggest TV. And a wispy mustache.

Wait a second. Nagano gets a computer copy? Where's mine TBS? Where's MIIIIIIINE!

CM break.

Because the target audience for SASUKE needs women's cosmetics.

Ba...wait. A commercial for SASUKE.

Now back. We see Makoto Nagano driving a..something. Cue up the Last Battle. So that he can build his own Slider Jump. Umm..Ouch? He doesn't want to fail there again!

And here he goes again and again. Practice makes perfect! SASUKE is difficult!

And he practices his rope climbing on his ship. Convenient, that.

Then he practices climbing a tent frame. But he always makes time for THE HOLY NAGANO BABY KAIOU~!

We see the happy couple get a blessing and the family trains together!

It's a gas station! It can only be Shingo Yamamoto. He's been there since the beginning. The Chickens are REVOLTING.

The last five SASUKEs he's failed in the 1st Stage. Let's see him fail.

Here he is running shirtless up the steps. (Half-) naked Shingo Yamamoto should get me some hits.

And then we cut to Toshihiro Takeda but first, let's sell more stuff!

Yet another SASUKE CM. Because we don't know what we're watching right now.

Back. Takeda is in Gifu. And he is cleansing himself in the waterfall! It's the first time he's doing it but hey, whatever works. Later he'll go to a shaman and practice the Talking Way.

(Half-) Naked Takeda runs up the steps!

And there they are! Shingo has a SASUKE towel.

And Yamada has free stuff from Descente.

Wait...Shingo's towel has his name on it?

Shut up Yamada.

And it's the New STARS!

Yuuji Urushihara does the 1st Stage! Then the 2nd Stage! Then the 3rd Stage! Yay! Everyone goes nuts! And then the Final Stage...will he do it this time? Oh wait. The reporter was egging him on but no.

He sells shoes! And goes to Muscle Park. Ooo..we see his past SASUKE Trial stuff.

Hitoshi Kanno! 1st Stage! 2nd Stage! His parents were there! But then...he went off the course.

Let's see the past clips of him training at his school. And then his awesome jump at the Trials.

He and Yuuji are training together! Because they are training partners! Did Yuuji get them the shoes for free?


Are the All-Stars their rivals?

Let's see Yuuji practice the Rope Climb again. He does it 20 times a day?

He intends to go to the 3rd Stage again!

Let's shill Muscle Park while we're at it. And let's see him do SASUKE Park. Anyone we know in the crowd? The crowd is awed! And he does it! Ah...stardom.

So apparently Kanno still has access to some facilities so that he can practice. Yikes. He's adding on some weights to do his Rope Climb.

Let's see Kanno's stalker-y wall of SASUKE.

It's the SASUKE Trials! Let's warm up people! And then let's see people's entry videos!

OK, groups of six have to do a 150 meter run on the BMX course at Midoriyama, partly with sandbags. The top four out of each group moves on.

Then groups of four have to hang on to a pipe until they drop. The top two move on.

UNCLI's Keita Tomino! That was UNCLI's Keitaro Yamamoto they interviewed.

Then they have to do the Jump Hang! Old School! A few guys fail...then Koji Hashimoto does it! Yay!

Finally, a speed trial. It tests speed (a sort of shuttle run), jumping power (hurdles) and balance (a pipe walk)

NO! Keita! He just failed at the end...always at the end.

We see the winners!

1. Jun Sato 佐藤惇
2. Something Nakamura 中村
3. Ryoma Kato 加藤僚馬
4. Koji Hashimoto 橋本亘司
5. Takuya Ueno 上野琢也
6. Naoya Tashima 田島直弥

Sato Jun! He made it in SASUKE 21 but failed the Log Grip! He was the youngest of the STQers from that time. When he studied overseas in Germany he practice parkour!

Koji Hashimoto! He was also an STQer. This time in 22. And he gets some lines!

And here are the Americans! Brett Sims! No!

10 were chosen out of the 250 over three days.

Hey, there's Levi Meeuwenberg. Let's see him hotdog in 21. And then go free running. But THEN..let's see him fail the Slider Jump in 22.

There were 10!  But only Levi got named.


CM for SASUKE. Again.

It's Fukunishi Takashi soccer player guy!

Oh hey, he was on Sportsman No. 1. That was a while ago though. Let's see him the middle of the city? OK. He wants to go to the Final!

Genki Sudo! He's charismatic! Choke that American!

Tomoki Kitagawa! He was there last time!

And we have two handball players! Since Daisuke Miyazaki won't be there I guess. They were both on the Japan National Team. Their names are Tetsuya Kadoyama 門山哲也 and Kairi Kouchi 高智海吏!

Junichi Miyashita! He was also there last time. It's time for revenge! He looked for a trampoline like the one for the Jumping Spider!

Let's go back to the airport! It's Leznik Blanik! You must only think about win!

Yeah yeah. You've got a gold medal. In Beijing I'm gold! In SASUKE I want to go to top!

Let's see the new areas and a few more people. But let's go to a commercial first.

CM! Again. Hey, maybe an American failed the Spider Walk.

It's Hosshan! And Degawa! And Shinsengumi Rien! And more!

And let's see Hiromichi Sato finally get past the 1st Stage! Sure sure. You'll reach the Final Stage so you should practice that Rope Climb. Sure.

Ah...he's practicing so he doesn't fail the Metal Spin again.

It's Monkiki! He was a three time finalist. But the last time was in 1999. It was a different show back then. Having kids has changed everything!

Jordan Jochtev! He got a sword! Let's see the only man to fail the Spider Climb! HEY! THIS ISN'T A GAME DAMMIT!

Lee En Chi! リー・エンチ! Yoshiyuki Okuyama! 奥山義行! They are back! Let's see Okuyama work and train! I admit, I didn't think he'd make it to the 3rd Stage last time. I'm sorry Yoshiyuki.

Lee! He reached the 3rd Stage the last time but failed the Shin-Cliff Hanger.

The Muscle Musical! Synergy! Takuya Kawahara! Spinboy Aichi! Double Dutch NOBU!

Oooh...behind the scenes in building of the set!  Cool.  Let's see some of the new obstacles and see how they make the magic! They don't really tell you much about the new obstacles so I guess we'll have to learn later. However, there are two new 1st Stage Obstacles. The 2nd Stage should have one new obstacle. The Soritatsu Kabe is still there!

Now my innocence is gone.

And now the credits! Comedians. Kanno.

See you tonight!