Monday, March 26, 2018

SASUKE 35 SASUKE 2018 Live blog!


5. Pro surfer Murata just failed the Fishbone!

7. Kohei Nosei works at a karaoke shop! He's got a superman shirt! (By the way, we saw a commercial for Last Jedi. SASUKE is canon!) Fishbone. And through! First to get to the Dragon Glider! Trampoliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!

The regulars react!

11. Karine Maruyama played for the Japanese women's national soccer team! Through the steps! Down the hill slowly. Kore de yada! And she just gets it! Took some time though. Tie Fighter. And no!

13. Hosaka! Sorry, missed his first name. Through to the Tie Fighter! SASUKE Spray. And through! Fishbone. And he got it! Dragon Glider. And he whiffs on the bar!

16. Ryoji Ishii! Is a local announcer! Slowly at the steps. Rolling Hill next. And he just gets it! Tie Fighter and he only has half a minute left. And he can't get into the Tie Fighter. But he hits the water anyway as the time goes red!

17. Shusho Lopez! He's a former ballroom dancer turned geinojin! Get a load of that Winnie the Pooh trampoline.


Back. He's all the way through to the Dragon Glider because I was slacking. And he goes face first into the water! Sup, Hard Gay.

21. Hard Gay is next! Slowly through the Quad Steps. Rolling Hill slowly. And he slips! Get a new gimmick!

22. Ooohh, that is what a flag performer is. Hiroshi Tomioka has a giant blue SASUKE flag that I want. Rolling Hill. He just gets it! His flag performer friends are flagging him on. Tie Fighter is no problem. Fishbone. And throu...NO! At the very end! Ato ippo!

23. Frescoballer? I'll look it up later but haya sugiru as he fails the steps.

25 and 26 Sho and Yoh of NJPW fail! And 27 and 28 fail the Dragon Glider. As does 29!

31. Kan Yutaka of Golden Bomber up next. Quads. Rolling Hill. And through! Tie Fighter. Yes! Doing much better this time around. Fishbone. And he got it! Dragon Glider. He got a hand on it! Although with his form I don't know what he was planning to do.

32. Daisuke Matsuda gets the A-Team music. Because he has so many obstacles? Shouldn't he get the McGyver music instead?

Quad Steps. Rolling Hill! Tie Fighter time. And he's through! Fishbone. And he got it! Can he be the first to do the Dragon Glider? He got the bar! And NO! But he was the first to get the bar!


Mou tsukirimasu!

I guess it's an arms race between Matsuda and TBS.

33. Gets the bar too! 35 hits the steps. 36 and 37 can't get past the hill.

41. Iwamoto of Johnny's group Snow Man is up next. He gets Smells Like Teen Spirit and a past generation of mopey teens die a little inside.


Ooops, back and he's already up to the Tie Fighter. He's through though! And he gets the Fishbone! Dragon Glider next. And he slides right into the water! Usoo!

Darvish is sad for Iwamoto.

44. Sakuma Kota! Is a teacher! And he falls quickly! Kids = Ratings = Fail. Haha.

48. Satoshi Kodama is up! He's a police man? He just gets the platform on the Rolling Hill. And he's through the Tie Fighter! Fishbone. Dragon Glider is a whiff!

49. Shukan Playboy gravure tantou Ishibashi fails the Rolling Hill.

51. Karen fails. 55, 57 and 58.

60. Hioki Masashi gets the full video treatment! Can he be our first clear? Rolling Hill is no problem. Tie Fighter. Fishbone coming up. And through! Dragon Glider. And he gets it! YES! The first!



And he clears the Dragon Glider and gets a big pop from the crowd. Let's see that again! That thing looks reckless. Tackle. Lots of time left if he isn't blown up. Has time for a few tries. But he only needs one! And that's it!

Everyone congratulate Hioki for showing them the way.

Yamada Gundan Black Tiger time.

TBS loves me so they show the crying Yamada clip.

Yamada hurt his foot so perhaps his advice won't negatively affect the guys this time around.

61. Hiroshige Yamamoto is up first for the Black Tigers. And what! He failed the Rolling Hill! Wow!

62. Satoshi Obata had a miracle run last time up to the 3rd Stage. Can he do it again! Yamada decides to get out of his chair to talk to Obata.

Steps. Rolling Hill next. And he almost slipped there too! Abune! Tie Fighter. And through! Fishbone. And got it! Dragon Glider. NO! He missed the bar! Came up just short.

Kore mo SASUKE ya.

63. Seiki Takasui! He's the sort of heir to Makoto Nagano! Steps. Rolling Hill. And he's through! He's the son of the owner of Nagano's company. Through the Tie Fighter! Fishbone. And he gets it! Dragon Glider. He gets the bar! But no! Takasui ochita!

So far only Hioki has solved the Dragon Glider.

67. Araki and 68. Tada and 69. all fail the Dragon Glider!

We get to see a bit of Wataru Mori's life before we go to some CMs.

70. Wataru Mori. If he clears the steps he's better than last time. Haha. And he does! Did it sort of slowly though. Gets the Tie Fighter! Fishbone. And gets it! Dragon Glider. And he does it! Tackle next. Needs to hurry though. Maybe only one shot at the wall. Time is red. NO!

72. Hitoshi Kanno! Is a two-time daddy! And is a former finalist. But he had been hurt recently so he's here. Rolling Hill. And gets it! Tie Fighter. He's in the cockpit. Fishbone. Checking. Doesn't have THAT much time. Needs to move. And is through! Dragon Glider but does he have time? AND just shorts the landing! He can't land on the platform and hits the water. The others are shocked. I guess he kind of went off the track.

72 have tried! Only 1 has passed!

73. Ryo Matachi! Reached the final in 30 but that seems so long ago. He's failed the 1st Stage four times in a row. Through the steps. And gets the Hill. Tie Fighter. Fishbone. And he gets it! Dragon Glider. And he gets it! He can do the Tackle sort of! Still lots of time but is he blown up? He needs to go now. NO! One more try. Just needs to get up. NO!

Yuuji is really broken up. He had a good pace going but he just didn't have the power at the end.

74. The chickens are revolting while we go to commercial.


74. Shingo Yamamoto! Through the steps. Still light out. And through the Hill! With Shingo you never know. Tie Fighter. Fishbone. And no! Right towards the end. Nanda! Ahhh..mata.

75. to 79 all fail and I fail because I was taking a bite to eat as they got digested. Sorry!

We now enter our top athlete portion of the program.

81. Seito Yamamoto is a pole jumper. Steps. He might want his pole at the end of his run. Hill. Tie Fighter. Fishbone next. And gets it! Dragon Glider. But he doesn't use his momentum and gets stopped dead after the first bar!

82. Shun Yokota plays football in Japan. Steps. Rolling Hill. And he gets it! Tie Fighter. And he can't stay in the cockpit! Whoops!

83. Sho Kimura is a WBO champion! Steps. Rolling Hill up. The announcer is DYING to make a KO reference. I know it. Tie Fighter. Fishbone next. And he is out!

And now 86. Ryoichi Tsukada.

But first, the news.

85 have tried! 1 has cleared? Can we get a clear rush from now?

86. Ryoichi Tsukada. Steps. Rolling Hill. He seems to be in a rush. Needs to be careful. And he falls out of the cockpit of the Tie Fighter!

Wataru says it wasn't bad but it wasn't perfect.

He rushed it.

87. Ono and 88. Ugajin don't repeat their performances from last time!

89. Keitaro Yamamoto! Quad Steps hayai! Rolling Hill. Tie Fighter. Slips a bit but is through! Fishbone. And he gets it! Dragon Glider! Gets it! Tackle. Almost there. Does he have the stamina? Gets his legs warmed up. Maybe one shot. And he gets it! He's through! That's two!

What a run!

CMs while we all catch our breath.

90. Takeru! Is a K-1 champ! Heater at the start line cuz it's cold out there. Steps. Rolling Hill. And through! Tie Fighter. And gets it! Fishbone. NO! He stepped wrong and that's it for him!

91. Toshihiro Takeda! 90 have tried! Only 2 have passed! Can Takeda make it 3? Steps. Rolling Hill. And he gets it! Tie Fighter. And gets it! Nagano cheers him on. Fishbone. And...he stumbles at the end but is through! Dragon Glider next. NO! He didn't jump! Not much time left. Needs to get the momentum going himself, I guess. Does he have his own logo shirt? And he takes a dip. Aho!

92. Shunsuke Nagasaki is a trampoline performer! He is a new daddy to boot! Tonda! Up to the Tie Fighter. And gets it! Fishbone. Yes! Dragon Glider. And gets it! Tackle as his dad cheers him on! Still time. Maybe one shot at the wall. Needs to get reset. And he gets it! And he makes three!

93. It's Kong time! Kenji Takahashi! He's thinking that this might be his last time. He feels that it's time for him to give the young guns a chance. Steps. Rolling Hill. Tie Fighter next. And he gets it! Abunakatta! Fishbone. Dragon Glider. King Kong jump! But he is completely off the track! He leaned too much to one side.

Jibun no SASUKE ga saigo desu.

94. Yusuke Suzuki! SASUKE sensei for the newer generation. Tie Fighter. Clear! Fishbone. NO! He got tied up and that's it!

95. Yuuji Urushihara! Is a two time champion. He vowed last time that if he didn't pass the 1st Stage he would retire. Can he do it again tonight? Steps. Rolling Hill. Tie Fighter. And through! Everyone starts high and lets themselves slip a bit. Fishbone. Yes! Dragon Glider. And yes.. YES! He got it! Ike! Tackle. Will he have enough left at the end? Almost there. Maybe one shot if the others are any indication. Getting ready. NO! Time goes red. NO! Maji de. Ryo really shouldn't be talking about people having a mental block as we watch Yuuji do it one last time and lets out a yell of exasperation.

96. Kenji Darvish is up next. He's had more than enough camera time at this point. Steps. Rolling Hill. Tie Fighter. And he is through! Fishbone. And he is through! Dragon Glider. And he gets it! Tackle next up. He'll have one shot at the Soritatsu Kabe. Time going red. And he gets it with 1 second left!

96 have tried! 4 have cleared!

97. Jun Sato is next! He does the dreaded parkour. Haha. Is this the first time they've ever used a dramatization during SASUKE?

Steps. Rolling Hill. And clear! Tie Fighter. And through! He almost rolled off the platform though. Fishbone is no problem. Dragon Glider. And through! Tackle. No problem. And hits it the first time! That's five!

98. Drew Dreschel points out that in Japan the obstacles aren't as big but they are more technical. Already up to the Fishbone by the way. And through! Dragon Glider. Not much of a run up but he has no problem. Tackle. Just needs to go up the wall. And gets it!

99. Tomohiro Kawaguchi has become a climbing shoes maker. But first, a word from our sponsors.


Steps. Slight slip on the hill but he's through. Tie Fighter. Fishbone next. And yes! Dragon Glider. And through! Tackle. That was reckless on the Dragon Glider. Tackle. Maybe two shots at most next. Taking his time. He is taller than others so he doesn't have to run as much. And he's through!

100. Yuusuke Morimoto! He debuted when he was 15! And he is the man known as SASUKE-kun! No clear steps tonight.

Not exactly graceful on the steps but whatever works. Tie Fighter. And through! Fishbone next. And through! Dragon Glider next. And through! Tackle next. Just needs to do enough and preserve his legs. Maybe one shot. And gets it!

2nd Stage time! Eight are through! No big surprises tonight. Everyone still alive has been here before.

Hioki Masashi is first up.

110 seconds to clear. Ring Slider. Salmon Ladder. At the transition. Downwards. Through. Spider Walk. Spider Drop. Backstream next. Pushes off. And through! Reverse Conveyer next. And got it! Wall Lifting. 1st. 2nd. 3rd. Lots of time. And gets it!

Keitaro Yamamoto up next. Ring Slider. Salmon Ladder. At the turn. Downwards now. And good to go. Spider Walk. Wait...NO! He slipped at the very end. His left leg slipped as he was transitioning to the Spider Drop.

2 have tried! 1 has cleared!

Shunsuke Nagasaki will take his turn now. Ring Slider. Salmon Ladder. Transition. Downwards. And gets it. Spider Walk. Slowly. Maybe too slow? Tentative because of Keitaro? And he slips down too! Ryo says that the usual way should be OK. So not sure what happened. These wall interviews are new. Is that on-site?

Kenji Darvish up next but let's hit some commercials first.


Ring Slider. Through. Salmon Ladder. Transition. Downwards. Slight problem on the last rung but he's got it! Spider Walk. Not all that fast. Spider Drop is OK. Backstream. Not a whole lot of time left for him though. Can't quite reach the end. Needs to hurry. I don't know if he'll make it. Reverse Conveyer as the time goes red. Wall Lifting and the timer goes off as he's between walls!

Now who will TBS show reaction shots of?

4 have tried! 1 has cleared! Can the last four join him?

Jun Sato up. Ring Slider. Salmon Ladder. Downwards. And through. Spider Walk. Everyone is worried about the drop now. Backstream. And no problem. Lots of time. And through!

98. Drew Drechsel is through too!

6 have tried! 3 have cleared!

Tomohiro Kawaguchi is next. Ring Slider. Salmon Ladder. Up. Transition. Downwards. Spider Walk. Spider Drop is clear. Backstream next. Lots of time if he does this right. And he gets caught up in the stream! Still has time so he has to get going!


He's all the way to the middle of the tank! Needs to get going! Mada maniau! He still has time but really really has to rush. Go! Go! Time going red. YES! HE DID IT! OH MY!

That's one more to the next stage!

One man left to go. SASUKE-kun! Yuusuke Morimoto!

Ring Slider. Salmon Ladder. Transition. And through. Spider Walk. Ii tempo. Spider Drop is no problem. Backstream next. And he is through! Reverse Conveyer is no problem! Wall Lifting. 1. 2. 3. YES!

3rd Stage

Hioki Masashi is first up. And he THSOFEP! Thanks. Flying Bar. And through to the Sidewinder! 1st pole. No time limit so he can set himself.

2nd pole. 3rd poooole! Whew. That was close. One more to go. And through! It's cold out there so it's nice TBS sprung for a heater.

New obstacle time! NO! His hands slipped off!

Jun Sato is up next so let's look at a dramatization of his childhood.

Flying Bar. Sidewinder now. 1st pole. 2nd pole. 3rd pole. One more to go. Got it! Needs to get on the platform. Needs to rest. Planet Bridge but time for some CMs.

Back. First Globe. 2nd. Hand on a 3rd. Three more to go. Next one. Two more to go. Stopping. Might be struggling. But he gets it! Height is definitely a factor here.

Ultra Crazy Cliff Hanger next. He's been stopped here before. NO! Whoops, turned my head and he was in the water.

Yubi ga subeta!!!

Drew Drechsel up next! One of the most consistent competitors anywhere. Can he finally make that final step? Sidewinder. Already up to the last pole. Drew gets set before he tackles the Planet Bridge.

And quickly through! And no problem! Tomo and the rest get their minds blown as he zooms through it.

Getting ready for the Ultra Crazy. Gets the first jump! Moving next. And gets it!

Green pole of rest before he goes for the Vertical Limit. Three parts to go. First. NO! Maji ka!

Two are left.

Someone will reach the final tonight. Will it be Kawaguchi? Or Morimoto? Or BOTH?

Tomohiro Kawaguchi up first. Flying Bar. Through to the Sidewinder. Almost slips on the third! But he's up. And slips off the last onto the platform!

Planet Bridge next. Gets set. Not as smooth as Drew but he gets it!

Takes his time before going for the Ultra Crazy Cliff Hanger. At the first jump. Gets it! Moving next. YES! He got it! Green pole of rest next.

He's more of a climber than any of the others which might bode well for him.


Back. Firs..AHH!

Oops. Well, now we know what is about to happen.

That's new. "Watch yourself fail!" He didn't get his hand on cleanly before he started moving.

99 have come and gone! There is only one man to take on the course and he has already conquered it once before. Yuusuke Morimoto!

Flying Bar is no problem. Haha. The chalk is flying all over the place as he takes on the Sidewinder. He reps his company on his shirt.

Planet Bridge next. Getting set. 1st. 2nd. 3rd. 4th. One more to go. And gets it!

Ultra Crazy Cliff Hanger. He is the first to have cleared it. Looks like he is timing his start with the moving portion. First jump and he gets it! Moving part. Gets it! Green pole of rest next!

He flashes the smile that makes him a fan favorite!

Everyone left is cheering him on.

Here he goes.

SASUKE-kun versus Vertical Limit!

YES! He is at the last one! Almost there! YES! He's on the Green bar of safety! Pipe Slider next.

CMs first though.


Last area!

Here he goes.

Almost there. Swinging. Swinging. Swinging. YES! YES! YES!

It's been three years since someone has made the Final Stage!

35 have tried the Final Stage. Hey, Kane Kosugi! He is clearly the most powerful geinojin.

Final Stage. Spider Climb, Salmon Ladder, Rope Climb.

Here we go.

45 seconds to clear.

CMs first, of course.


Good pace on the climb. Salmon Ladder as the crowd cheers him on.
Almost there. Needs to hurry but he's slightly stuck. On the Rope Climb but time is going red. Needs to hurry. NO!

And he gets the lowering down of disappointment. He lost his Salmon Ladder rhythm right at the end and it caused him to lose time.

That's it for today! Thanks for watching!