Sunday, December 29, 2013

究極の男は誰だ!?最強スポーツ男子頂上決戦 Sports Danshi Grand Prix 2013 Liveblog!

TBS did a better job this time of promoting the show. I knew at least two weeks in advance that it was going to air. Good job!

Here's a preview!

You can also follow the show via twitter and facebook. Links are here. Spodan!

Tonight! Can Wataru Mori defend his title? Or will Gaku Sano come back and regain HIS title? Can Naoki Iketani show these whippersnappers how it's done? Will someone musical make a strong showing? Will I hate on Casper again? It's the latest edition of the Sports Danshi Grand Prix!

Arisa Mizuki is your host once again. (Actually, her title on the Spodan page is 主宰, shusai, which more or less means she's presiding over these events.)

There are more talking heads this time around. Stop making sense!

Your official hashtag is #spodan

Here we go!


I'm still disappointed the giant head doesn't do anything.

Ooh. Naoki Iketani was apparently a surprise even for the competitors.

OK, this show is officially roman numeral III. But commercials first.

1st Event: Mountain Flag!

10 meters to the flag!

1st Race: Wataru Mori~!, Gaku Sano, (wow they really really want to make it hard for Mori to repeat), Toshihiro Nobuyama (actor) Nobuyama gets One Direction music for his topless shots, Tetsuya Sugaya

Set. Start! Gaku is up the fastest. And he's got it! Not much of a challenge. Sano actually didn't have a good grip on the rope but was up fast enough in the beginning to make up for it.

Looks like Iketani is being marked as a "legend." Will he only do Monster Box?

2nd Race: Akiyoshi Nakao is still living off Rookies, someone oh, it's blonde Casper, Robin! He's from Hawaii? Seiya (actor) He's a spodan vet.

Set. Start! Robin Seiya...Robin...Seiya...Robin gets it!

3rd Race: Masaya Nakamura, KENZO of da Pump, Mendy Sekiguchi of Generations of Exile Tribe with a 1/2 Kid, Eiji Takigawa (still Crystal Takigawa's cousin)

St..wait! CMs first. What in the world was that 3DS commercial?

Start! Mendy! Nakamura slips! Mendy is the fastest up! And he just gets it! Mendy and Takigawa got up at the same time but Mendy was about a half-arms length ahead!

And Naoki Iketani makes his appearance! But let's have that non-spoiler sink in during commercials.

Sportsman No. 1 reference! The other competitors are worried! Let's see a clip of Iketani doing 23 boxes! That's the record!

OK, we've already seen the 23 box clip three times.

4th Race: ELLY of Sandaime J Soul Brothers, Takayuki Suzuki (Mr. Japan - Hey! He was on SASUKE), Yasukaze Motomiya is old, Naoki Iketani is a LEGEND~!

Set. I skipped Iketani being Iketani because I was twitter riffing on the whole LEGEND thing. Start! Iketani is up fast! AND he shows those whippersnappers!

Final Race: Sano, Robin, Sekiguchi, LEGEND

Set. START! Sano up fastest! Iketani next! But it's SANO all the way!

Mountain Flag Winner: Gaku Sano He's on his way! I bet Iketani wants to push Sano off the mountain right now.

2nd Event: Power Wall

I mean, geez, at least have the statue having moving eyes following the wall. That would be great. And creepy.

First let's have some shilling for the next set of TBS dramas.

1st: Motomiya vs. Seiya! They're off! Motomiya with a slight edge. But he's doing most of the work here. Seiya not putting up much of a fight. He's at a weight and height disadvantage. Motomiya can't put him away though. Time is up! And it's Motomiya!

2nd: Mendy Sekiguchi vs. LEGEND! Big height advantage for Mendy here. Go! But first a commercial.


Not looking good for the LEGEND! And that's it! Not much of a challenge.

3rd: ELLY vs. Nakamura. Go! Even so far. ELLY having problems! Nakamura gets it!

4th: Casper d. Sano

5th: KENZO d. Robin

6th: Suzuki d. Nobuyama

All those were clipped by the way.

7th: Nakao vs. Sugaya. Evenly matched at first but Nakao has the early lead. Almost there. A bit more. That's it!

8th: Takigawa vs. Mori. Mori is not in a good spot so far as Takigawa takes it.

2nd Round

1st: Mendy vs. Motomiya. Start..And another easy win for Mendy![

2nd: Nakamura vs. Casper. Go Nakamura! Er...commercials.

Back. Nakamura is a former basketball player and has a big height advantage over almost everyone. And he easily takes down Casper (who had doffed his shirt - our first of the evening).

3rd: KENZO vs. Suzuki. Suzuki is our 2nd shirt doffer. KENZO goes low. Suzuki stays high. KENZO with the early lead but Suzuki storms back. Suzuki putting his back into it. And he gets it! I think that's an upset.

4th: Nakao vs. Takigawa. A double doff! Takigawa with the early lead. And he gets it!

3rd Round

1st: Sekiguchi vs. Nakamura. Power versus height! Mendy with a slight lead but Nakamura is holding him off so far. But then Mendy gets momentum. And does it!

2nd: Suzuki vs. Takigawa. Hey, I don't count it when you take your shirts off more than once. Evenly matched so far. Takigawa with a slight edge. Is Suzuki losing his footing? No! He's in the lead! Takigawa fighting off the edge! But he's close! Too close! That's it!

Power Wall Final!

Sekiguchi vs. Suzuki! Mendy's shirt is off so that's five. Sekiguchi hit the wall first! Suzuki has momentum though! Just about at the middle right now. Sekiguchi gets a couple of steps! And he's almost there! And he gets it!

Power Wall Winner: Mendy Sekiguchi!

3rd Event: Monster Box! LEGEND! Wataru Mori needs to get a good showing here to stave off elimination (the bottom after 1st three events get dropped).

12 boxes

Iketani up first to show everyone how it's done.

Wataru up next. Can he show up Iketani? Iketani doesn't think so.

Sano also flips. Iketani is not worried. 

Motomiya drives his crotch into the top of the box and is done. Nakamura gets higher but is done too.

Mendy is a bit nervous. But he gets it! He knows this isn't his event.

Seiya...would have broken his neck if there wasn't a pad to land on.

Nakao is through!

13 boxes

14 boxes

Yikes, they clipped a bit and I got lost. Sorry! Old age. Some unimportant people got eliminated.

16 boxes

2 chances from now on.

Iketani, Mori, Sano are through!

ELLY up next. Yes! No shuffling! Good sign.

Newcomer Robin is up. Not very smooth but he gets it! Lots of shuffling of his feet.

Mendy Sekiguchi is looking to keep up with Sano. But he doesn't!

Takigawa is done at 16 (well, 15). As is Suzuki.

Sekiguchi's 2nd chance. With room to spare! He actually has the run up. No shuffling. Iketani is not impressed though.

17 boxes

Nine are left.

Casper is unfortunately through. And Nobuyama and Seiya. And ELLY.

Mendy up next. His best is 16. And he beats that! It's a challenge tonight!

18 boxes

Iketani is through with no problem! Iketani is repping Monster Box history versus all these young guns!


Back! Wataru Mori is up next. And he's through! Mori points out that 18 used to be enough to win.

Sano is through!

ELLY and Robin and Mendy don't get it on their first tries.

And Seiya! Iketani doesn't care. Masaka no shippai!

2nd Try


Robin is next. And that's another shirt! And he does it! With a run that is pretty much textbook what not to do usually. He shuffled AND skipped.

Mendy TAKES HIS SHIRT OFF FOR EXTRA POWER! And it works! The shirt was holding him back.

Casper is through. As is Nobuyama!

The pressure is on for Seiya. Seiya THSOFEP! It doesn't work! Wataru is sad. Iketani has to hold back a smirk. Masaka no shippai!

19 boxes

This is high level for everyone except Iketani.

Iketani keeps his shirt on because he doesn't need the extra power yet.

No problem!

Wataru Mori~! is up next. No problem!

Sano next. Yes! With a flip after he lands!

Everyone else blows their first chance.

2nd try

Did Robin just let out an f-bomb?

Casper THSOFEP somewhere along the line. But it didn't work!

Nobuyama...YES! Tonda! He THSOFEP.

Mendy is last. This is do or die! If he fails here he's out of first. But let's pause him first.


No! That was anti-climatic.

20 boxes

Four are left! Iketani, Mori, Sano and Nobuyama!

Iketani has THSOFEP! But he still looks confident. Yes! Wait! Lets go to the slow-mo. He doesn't get it! He just clipped the box.

Wataru Mori~! is next! He has also THSOFEP. YES! Iketani smiles for that.

Nobuyama doesn't get it.

Sano next! NO!

The Legend is in a pinch.



Iketani's LEGEND is in trouble. No problem though! Lots of shouting!

Nobuyama is an afterthought but he fails.

Sano THSOFEP! Do or die time. Either he goes or he stays. Dramatic music. YES!

21 boxes

Three are left!

The legend versus the new stars!

Iketani up first. NO! I think he hit the trampoline a bit late.

Wataru Mori~! NO! He may have had the height but he couldn't angle his body at the right time. Although on second look he may not have been high enough.

Sano last. NO! He may have been running TOO fast.

2nd try

This is it for everyone.

Iketani first. He is in 6th place overall. Here he goes...douda?? After these words from our sponsors.


Slo-mo time! Iketani doesn't think he made it. His butt just grazed the end! That's it for the LEGEND!

Down to Mori and Sano.

Mori up. NO! He couldn't clear his shoulders at the end! That's it for him!

If Sano gets it here he'll be in the overall lead.

Here he goes. NO!

Your Monster Box co-winners! Gaku Sano, Wataru Mori and Naoki Iketani!

Iketani is now in 3rd. Mori is now 8th. Mendy is still in the overall lead with Sano second.

4th Event: The Fence!

It's a race for the best overall time. One chance each. 15 meters to the top.

EXILE guys explode!

ELLY and Mendy Sekiguchi. ELLY at a good pace. But he slips! ELLY is almost there. A bit more. ELLY: 33.76 Mendy: 50.86

ELLY is the time to beat.

CASPER and KENZO are now 3rd and 4th with 40 second efforts.

Robin and Suzuki are up next.  Not much to say here. They are climbing!  Suzuki: 26.05. Robin: 34.58. ELLY now 2nd. Suzuki is the new leader!

Takigawa gets 25.88! He's in the lead!

Iketani is confident!

Iketani and Motomiya are next to try. And Iketani lost his grip! He's OUT! Motomiya finishes with a respectable 34 something.

Sugaya and Seiya next. But commercials first.

Takigawa's time is still the one to beat.

Good start for both! Almost there. Sugaya with a 24! Seiya with a 26! Sugaya is the new leader!

24.60 is the new time to beat!

Nakao and Mori next! Mori with a good start! Almost there! Mori with a 21.88! New leader! Nakao with a respectable 26.

Nobuyama and Sano are the last pair! Can they beat Mori? Both are flying up! 16.24 for Sano! 17.95 for Nobuyama! They both did!

The Fence winner: Gaku Sano!

Sano now in the lead! Suzuki third. Wataru fourth. Nobuyama fifth.

Fifth Event: Hard Anchor!

Another time race! They have to drag the 45 kg anchor to the end.

Poor Iketani gets matched with Mendy again.

1st Race: Iketani vs. Mendy! Mendy in the lead! No problem! The legend is far behind.

2nd Race: Takigawa vs. Suzuki! Suzuki with a slight lead! Takigawa now in the lead! Neck and neck! Takigawa! Fight!

3rd Race: Sano vs. Robin! Not really their event. Robin goes through!

4th Race: Nobuyama vs. Mori! Nobuyama through!

Oh, by the way, whoever was 9 to 16 got dropped prior to this.

2nd Round

Commercials first.

1st Race: Takigawa vs. Sekiguchi. Sekiguchi with the early lead! Way ahead now! He's going to the final!

2nd Race: Robin vs. Nobuyama. Robin with the early lead. Neck and neck! Nobuyama now in the lead! NO! He slipped! Robin stays steady and he's into the final!


Robin vs. Mendy Sekiguchi! A win by Robin could knock out Nobuyama or Mori from the final Shotgun Touch. An appearance in the final might not be enough to get Robin into the top five.

Commercials as they start.


Mendy with a big lead! Just needs to keep it steady! Yes! Robin far behind! That's it!

Hard Anchor Winner: Mendy Sekiguchi!

It's down to two! No one else was close so it's down to Sekiguchi and Sano!

Shotgun Touch


Mendy to keep his lead. Yes!


Sano can get 170 points and take the lead with this. His best is 12m10cm though.

Let's go to commercials first.


Here he goes. Yes! No problem! Sano now up by twenty!


If Mendy gets this he'll be up by ten.

Yes! No..we have to go to replay. Just did it! He's up by ten!

You can't go back down I guess.


If Sano misses, Sekiguchi is our winner.

He had the last one no problem. NO! Hard to tell. Replay time. NO! YES! All tied up!


If Mendy misses this, Sano is the winner. Yes! Hold on. Replay. No problem! He's up by ten!


Sano needs this to tie. Shotgun Touch scoring always gives me a headache.

Here we go. This is probably it.


Sano doesn't think so. We'll go to replay but there's like a minute of show left.


That's it! Mendy Sekiguchi is the third winner of the Sports Danshi Grand Prix! Finally! EXILE gets into the winner's box!

Final Standings:

16. Masaya Nakamura 中村昌也 100
14. Yasukaze Motomiya 本宮泰風 115
14. KENZO 115
13. ELLY 125
11. Tetsuya Sugaya 菅谷哲也 130
11. Seiya 聖也 130
10. Akiyoshi Nakao 中尾明慶 150
9. CASPER 155
8. Naoki Iketani 池谷直樹 170
7. Wataru Mori 森 渉 210
5. Toshihiro Nobuyama 延山信弘 225
5. Takayuki Suzuki 鈴木貴之 225
4. Robin ロビン 240
3. Eiji Takigawa 滝川英治 245
2. Gaku Sano 佐野 岳 475
1. Mendy Sekiguchi 関口メンディー 485

Thursday, June 27, 2013


Yuuto Doi 土井雄登(19)Cut
Kenji Hamatani 浜谷健司(35) 1st Stage Jump Hang
Yuusuke Kosugi 小杉雄介(38)1st Stage Long Jump

MASA(29)1st Stage Hedgehog

Hikaru Nakajima 中島ひかる(20)1st Stage Jump Hang (Navi)
Katsuhide Torisawa 鳥澤克秀(41)1st Stage Long Jump
Yuuta Miyanaga 宮永雄太(31)Cut
Yoshinori Iida 飯田悦規(20)Cut

Tsuneo Kitamoto 北本幹雄(31)Cut
Daijiro Hara 原大二郎(27)Cut

Yuuta Kajiwara 梶原雄太(32)1st Stage Jump Hang

Kouzou Takeda 武田幸三(40)1st Stage Long Jump

Hitoshi Ishii 石井仁志(23)Cut
Takashi Nishimura 西村偉志(23)Cut

Hiroaki Honbo 本保宏晃(24)Cut
Kohei Miyamoto 宮本 康平(28)Cut

Hayato Enokido 榎戸崇人(23)1st Stage Log Grip

Shinichirou Narita 成田真一郎(28)Cut
Hiroshi Miyamoto 宮本啓史(30)Cut
Hiroyuki Gondou 権藤博幸(32)Cut

Takayuki Suzuki 鈴木貴之(22)1st Stage Jump Hang
Tomomi Takano 高野人母美(25)1st Stage Jump Hang

Yusuke Oonuki 大貫勇輔(24)1st Stage Hedgehog
Naoki Sakamoto 坂本直紀(23)1st Stage Hedgehog

Keiichi Sawaki 佐脇慧一(22)1st Stage Ni-Ren Soritatsu Kabe (2nd Wall Time Up)
Hiroaki Takauchi 高内博昭(60)Cut
Kazutaka Yoshino 吉野和剛(34)1st Stage Hedgehog
Kazunari Ookubo 大久保和也(35)1st Stage Hedgehog

Ryu Maeda 前田竜(36)Cut
Takahiiko Suzuki 鈴木隆彦(33)Cut
Rina Sayama 澤山璃奈(24)1st Stage Log Grip
Minowaman ミノワマン(37)1st Stage Long Jump

Orakio オラキオ(35)1st Stage Hedgehog
Motohiro Mizoo 溝尾元洋(32)1st Stage Long Jump
Seiichi Endo 遠藤清一(58)1st Stage Hedgehog
Shingo Yamamoto 山本進悟(38)2nd Stage Back Stream (Time Up)

Yasuhiro Yamazaki 山崎康宏(43)Cut
Shou Seto 瀬戸捷(19)Cut
Yuudai Nakano 野中雄大(23)Cut
Ryoichi Arashida 嵐田良一(41)Cut

Kouji Hashimoto 橋本亘司(29)2nd Stage Back Stream (Time Up)
Rena レーナ(21)1st Stage Jump Hang
Takahiro Tsudaa 津田貴博(24)Cut
Sumito Namba 難波澄人(35)1st Stage Long Jump

Takeo Seto 勢登健雄(32)1st Stage Long Jump
Tomoyuki 知幸(33)1st Stage Ni-Ren Soritatsu Kabe (2nd Wall Time Up)
Koshige Yamamoto 山本浩茂(20)1st Stage Jump Hang
Yousuke Watanabe 渡辺陽介(29)1st Stage Ni-Ren Soritatsu Kabe (2nd Wall Time Up)

Satoma Okadaa 岡田知磨(19)1st Stage Long Jump

Keishi Mizukawa 水川圭史(32) 1st Stage Long Jump

Joji Amano 天野ジョージ(28)1st Stage Long Jump
Hiroki Shimoda 下田大気(36)1st Stage Long Jump
Shintaro Uchiyama 内山眞太郎(67)Cut
Yutaka Onedari おねだり豊(27)1st Stage Hedgehog

Rika Kawamura 川村りか(30)1st Stage Hedgehog
Li En Zhi リーエンチ(38)2nd Stage Passing Wall (1st Wall Time Up)
Daisuke Morikami 守上大輔(28)2nd Stage Back Stream (Time Up)
Masaaki Kobayashi 小林正明(38)1st Stage Jump Hang

Tsuyoshi Takigawa 瀧川剛(21)Cut
Taiga Hoshikawa 星川大我(19)2nd Stage Back Stream (Time Up)

Hidekazu Inoue 井上英和(27)2nd Stage Cross Slider
Hiromasa Katakabe 片伯部浩正(30)2nd Stage Swap Salmon Ladder

Hiromori Yoshida 吉田容盛(21)Cut

Takayuki Kawashima 川島孝幸(33)Cut
Toshiharu Takami 高見俊治(21)2nd Stage Swap Salmon Ladder
Kouki Ookoshi 大越光貴(24)Cut

Terukazu Ishikawa 石川輝一(35)2nd Stage Back Stream (Time Up)

Tatsuhiro Fujimatsu 藤松龍弘(22)Cut
Yuuta Iwabuchi 岩渕佑太(27)Cut
Keita Tomino 富野恵太(31)1st Stage Jump Hang

Makoto Nanbu 南部誠(26)1st Stage Jump Hang
Yoshie Kurozumi 黒住良恵(23)Cut
Masashi Hioki 日置将士(32)2nd Stage Back Stream (Time Up)
Yuuji Washimi 鷲見裕二(35)1st Stage Hedgehog

Kyosuke Maeda 前田京介(20)1st Stage Hedgehog
Kousei Itou 伊藤耕世(19)Cut
Masashi Toyoda 豊田将士(30)1st Stage Jump Hang

Masaaki Tatayana 立山正明(43)Cut

Yuusuke Morimoto 森本裕介(21)3rd Stage Pipe Slider
Akinori Higashi 東明範(28)Cut

Tomoko Hagiwara 萩原智子(33)1st Stage Hedgehog
Mika Watanabe 渡邉美香(34)1st Stage Jump Hang

Ryo Miyazaki 宮崎亮(24)1st Stage Jump Hang
Daisuke Nakano 中野大輔(30)1st Stage Jump Hang
Kinnikun Nakayama なかやまきんに君(34)1st Stage Tarzan Rope (Time Up)
Wakky ワッキー(40)2nd Stag Swap Salmon Ladder

Kenji Takahashi 高橋賢次(37)3rd Stage Crazy Cliff Hanger (2nd Bar)
Shinya Kishimoto岸本真弥(33)Cut
Yoshiyuki Okuyama 奥山義行(42)2nd Stage Back Stream (Time Up)
Yuuya Kadono 上遠野裕也(24)2nd Stage Back Stream (Time Up)

Keitaro Yamamoto 山本桂太朗(21)2nd Stage Back Stream (Time Up)
Naoyuki Araki 荒木直之(20)Cut
Shunsuke Nagasaki 長崎峻侑(27)2nd Stage Passing Wall (
Hiromichi Sato 佐藤弘道(44)1st Stage Long Jump

Toshiro Takeda 竹田敏浩(38)1st Stage Hedgehog
Kazuma Asa 朝一眞(31)3rd Stage Crazy Cliff Hanger (Jump)
Hitoshi Kanno 菅野仁志(28)3rd Stage Crazy Cliff Hanger (Jump)
Ryo Matachi 又地諒(23)2nd Stage Back Stream (Time Up)

Yuuji Urushihara 漆原裕治(34)2nd Stage Back Stream (Time Up)
Makoto Nagano 長野誠(41)1st Stage Ni-Ren Soritatsu Kabe (2nd Wall Time Up)

SASUKE 29 The Sort of Live Blog! SASUKE RISING 2013!

List of competitors
Official SASUKE RISING homepage
Official SASUKE Youtube Channel

Here we ar...wait. I'm early. I'm going to have a sandwich first.

Alright! He...ten more minutes? Bathroom break!, get yourself pumped up with this before the show starts.


At SASUKE 28, the All-Stars rode off into the sunset...or did they? This time around three of them are back! Another brought in four guys that will combine to form a giant robot that JUST might be able to complete the 1st Stage for him. Can the old-timers show those whipper-snappers just how it's done?

Or will the new stars shine once again?

It's SASUKE 29!

Hey! Yagyu-gaiden! SASUKE: Since 1997!

Let's look at photos of newspaper photos of the SASUKE ASEAN Cup announcement.

WERE YOU ONE OF THE 161? WRITE IN. (Or don't).

Let's look at a montage of spoilers and fails!

Kanno, Yuuji, Asa and Nagano carry a Japanese flag..shirtless. That was melodramatic.

New theme!

Let's go to the studio..before something exciting happens! Not quite as many people this time. I'll get you their names later. I know Karen Michibata off the top of my head.

1st Stage!

105 seconds to clear.

2. Kenji Hamatani of Hamaka-n! Is first. Does schtick first. Long successful! Log Grip up next. Yes! Hedgehog...can he do it? Just does! Jumping Hang...NO! Too low! Zenzen tondenai!

3. Yuusuke Kosugi! He has a jinrikishaw! Long Jump...NO! Faceplant in the sand!

4. Double dutch player MASA! Long Jump...looking winded already. He does it! Log Grip. He sprays up. Through! Hedgehog..NO! You can't just waltz through it.


11. Yuuta Kajiwara! Is next. But first, your children needs to learn people!


Long Jump..YES! Dekimashita! Log Grip..Legs come off but he's through! Hedgehog...Through! Jump Hang..NO! He went right by the way. Hamatani went left.

12. Kozo Takeda! He's a fighter! Long Jump..slowly. Shuffle..FACEPLANT!

17. Hayato Enokido! He's a pro bodyboarder. Long Jump is OK..but the Log Grip is NOT!

21. Takayuki Suzuki! He's the first Mr. Japan. Long Jump is fine! Log Grip is up next. Through! Hedgehog..No problem! Jump Hang...Bad Timing! AGAIN! But he doesn't use the trampoline!

22 (Tomomi Takano) fails the Jump Hang! 23 (Yuusuke Onuki), 24 (Naoki Sakamoto) go down to the Hedgehog!

So does 25 (wall). And 27! And 28! (hedgehog)

31. Rina Sawayama! Long Jump! Is through! Log Grip is up next. And she falls just at the end!

32. Minowaman! Takes his time! Here he goes! He's on...and then off! That was a face he made. Didn't help though!

33. Oracchio of Dangan Jackie...but after these messages.

Back! He was a former gymnast. It's essential to his schtick. Log Grip is clear! Hedgehog up next. A Jackie Chan-esque flip into the water!

34. Hits the sand! 35. Doesn't clear the Hedgehog!

And...that brings us to 36!

36. Shingo Yamamoto! He has decided to give SASUKE another shot! And he actually went through the qualification process! And got back on the show! Here he goes! Long Jump is good! Log Grip...Yes! Hedgehog up next...but first let's look at some commercials.


Wow, the Log Grip bounced kind of hard there. Hedgehog clear! Jump Hang...Yes! Looking good! He went right. Ni-Ren Soritatsu Kabe..1st Wall! 2nd Wall! Both on the first try! Tarzan Rope and lots of time! He's back! Unless he falls here. One never knows. 15.6!

Umm...41. Kouji Hashimoto is clear! 

42. Shootboxer Rena! Is through to the Jump Hang! And she blows the jump!

44 fails the Long Jump! As does 45! 46 Tomoyuki fails the Ni-Ren Soritatsu Kabe.

Sorry, I got sort of distracted by them glossing over Hashimoto clearing the 1st Stage.


47. The 1st Black Tiger fails the Jump Hang!

48. The 2nd fails the Ni-Ren Soritatsu Kabe.

49. The 3rd faceplants on the Long Jump.

50. Yamada's last hope! AND HE FAILS THE LONG JUMP.

51, 52 faceplant. 53 fails the Hedgehog.

56. Li En Zhi! Is back! Sorry...I was having computer issues. He's clear! AND A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER PEOPLE.

And we skip ahead to 73.

73. Hioki Masashi! Let's look at his past SASUKE history. Long Jump, Log Grip and Hedgehog are no problem! He goes left on the Jump Hang! Ni-ren Soritatsu Kabe up next. 1st Wall...on the 2nd try! 2nd Wall up next. YES! Thirty seconds! Needs to hurry a bit. The Tarzan Rope takes longer than you'd think! Hurry! YES! With 2.8 left!

Hmmm...they seem to be playing him up a bit. Tears are shed! Shinya's collar is popped!

A bunch of fails! Yuuji Washimi! Keita Tomino!

79. Yuusuke Morimoto! He's back! He's young! He's trained with Mr. SASUKE! Is that the kiss of death? It was in the past. Perhaps he's learned. Long Jump, Log Grip and Hedgehog are clear! As is the Jump Hang! 1st Wall! 2nd Wall! Tarzan Rope is next. Not a lot of time though. 9.6! He's through!

Let's cut to the studio while I try to catch up..

OK, looks like Yamamoto, Hashimoto, Li, Morikami, Hoshikawa, Inoue, Katakabe, Takami, Ishikawa, Hioki, Morimoto.


81. Tomoko Hagiwara! She was an Olympic swimmer. And she takes the loooong fall from the platform after the Hedgehog into the water!

83. Ryo Miyazaki! He's a pro boxer! And champion! And he defeats the Long Jump! Log Grip up next. Yes! Announcer is not making boxing jokes. Hedgehog. Slowly! But he does it! Abunakatta! Jump Hang..NO! Bad jump off the trampoline, really.

84. Daisuke Nakano! He was in the Athens Olympics! He got a silver medal in gymnastics (team, I believe). Long Jump and Log Grip are clear! Hedgehog is no problem! Jump Hang! NO! Ummm...yeah. You really can't try to grab both sides. Nice form though.

85. Kinnikun Nakayama! POWER! Long Jump is clear. Log Grip up next. POWER! Hedgehog up next. Through! Jump Hang next. He goes right! Needs to hurry though. Ni-Ren Soritatsu Kabe. 1st Wall..YES! 2nd Wall up next. 2nd Wall...Has he blown himself up! YES! Needs to hurry though! Time is going to go red soon. Less than ten seconds to get up. Needs to hurry. Just as he gets up the time is UP!

86. Wakky! He timed out on the Tarzan Rope in SASUKE 28. Long Jump and Log Grip are no problem. Hedgehog up next. Slow but sure. Jump Hang. He gets the net! He went right by the way. Ni-ren...1st Wall! Yes! 2nd Wall...lots of time. YES! First try! Tarzan's going to be close. Fifteen seconds. Time is going red soon. Needs to hurry. YES! 2.4 left!

Hiromichi Sato is impressed.

87. Kongu Takahashi and 89 Okuyama and 90 (Kadono) and 91 (Yamamoto). And 93 (Shunsuke Nagasaki).

94. So of course we get to see Hiromichi Sato fail the Long Jump. SOME people are surprised. Most probably are not.

95. Toshihiro Takeda! Long Jump! Yes! Log Grip is no problem! Hedgehog up next. YE...NO! He slips! And he's on the side...can he pull himself up? NO!

Very Shingo-esque.

96. Kazuma Asa! He's a bit emotional. Long Jump. YES! Log Grip up next. And he's through! Hedgehog. Yes! He goes right on the Jump Hang. Ni-Ren Soritatsu Kabe. Leaving nothing to chance! He gets both walls on the first try. Lots of time left. Wooo...30.30 left! He destroyed the course!

97. Check out those guns! Hitoshi Kanno, 98 Ryo Matachi and 99 Yuuji Urushihara are all through!

Now, there is only one left. Number 100. Makoto Nagano's run is coming up after these messages!


Let's look at Nagano's triumphs and (recent) tragedies on the SASUKE course.

He wants his son to see him press that button.

100. Makoto Nagano! Not quite night yet. Long Jump and Log Grip are no problem. Hedgehog is cleared! Jump Hang. His head snaps back but he gets it! Did he pull something? Holding his back leg. Ni-ren..1st Wall..YES! 2nd Wall...not on the 1st try! Still has time. Time is up!

Looks like he hurt himself on the Long Jump.

That's the end of the 1st Stage!

Back to the studio!

2nd Stage!

Cross Slider. Swap Salmon Ladder. Unstable Bridge. Spider Walk. Back Stream. Passing Wall. 90 seconds.

Let's talk to SOME people.

21 have cleared! But now we will start to winnow down the numbers!

36. Shingo Yamamot is up first! Cross Slider. Swap Salmon Ladder. Looking good so far. One bar run. YES! Unstable Bridge next. YE..wait. YES! Spider Walk. Needs to hurry, I thi...commercials first.


Spider Walk. Needs to hurry. Back Stream next. Time is going to go red soon. NO! SHINGO CAN'T SWIM! SHINGO CAN'T SWIM! NO! Time up! His wife is a bit peeved that he did nothing.

41. Koji Hashimoto up next! Cross Slider! Swap Salmon Ladder! Clear! Unstable Bridge and Spider Walk are cleared! Back a lot more difficult than last time! He even had goggles!

56. Li En Zhi is next! He has a group of supporters from Taiwan! Cross Slider is OK. Swap Salmon Ladder. Last run. Yes! Unstable Bridge. Spider Walk up next. May need to pick up the pace though. Back Stream up next. YES! Wait...YES...YES! But just as some logos pop-up. Commercial time.


Needs to hurry! Time is going red. 1st Wall...Time is up!

57. Daisuke Morikami also times out! And so does 60. Hoshikawa. Inoue fails the Cross Slider. Katakabe fails the Swap Salmon Ladder. And Takami. Ishikawa times up after the tank.

73. Masashi Hioki is up next! Cross Slider, Swap Salmon Ladder. Unstable Bridge...not a lot of time. Spider Walk. Less than twenty seconds before he even hits the tank. Time is going red. That's it! Damn. The Back Stream is a time killer.'s not image training if he actually has a replica.

79. Yusuke Morimoto! He has a backyard with SASUKE replica obstacles. He needs to cut the grass though. Whoops. Through to the Spider Walk. More than 30 seconds. That's a good time. He's almost through. Lots of time. Hurry! Passing Wall. 1st Wall..time going red. Last wall! Hurry! He goes under! 0.8 left! He's our first!

OK, you have to get to the Back Stream with at least 30 seconds. Hioki got there with 20. It takes at least 10 seconds to get through it.

News break.

86. Wakky! Cross Slider. Swap Salmon Ladder. Can he do it? Not sure but he needs to pick up the pace. NO! He was thinking about the time.

12 have tried! One has cleared!

87. Kenji Takahashi! Cross Slider. Swap Salmon Ladder. Good pace so far. Last rung...onto the Unstable Bridge. Through! Spider Walk. Good time so far. Back Stream next. He powers through! Needs to hurry though. Passing Wall. 1st Wall! 2nd Wall! 3rd Wall! 5.1 left!

Okuyama! Kadono! Yamamoto! Time out on the Back Stream!

93. Shunsuke Nagasaki! He coaches kids! Cross Slider. Swap Salmon Ladder. Unstable Bridge next. NO! Wasting time here. Spider Walk. I don't think he's going to make it. Back Stream! Time is going red! And after the 1st Wall the time is up!

96. Kazuma Asa! Cross Slider. Swap Salmon Ladder. Last rung coming up. Unstable Bridge. Yes! Spider Walk next. Lots of time going into the Back Stream. Struggling a bit but he has a time cushion. Through!


Twenty seconds going into the Passing Wall. 1st Wall. 2nd Wall is butt opened. 3rd Wall. YES! 4.0 left!

Hahaha...Asa is done crying. He's out for 3rd Stage revenge!

97. Hitoshi Kanno! Err...up to the Spider Walk. Lots of time. Maybe. Depends on how good a swimmer he is. YES! Lots of time left! Here he goes! Time is red. 3.8 left! He's through!

Let's get a reaction from his lady friend.

98. Ryo Matachi! He timed out last time! Cross Slider. Swap Salmon Ladder. Through! Unstable Bridge next. Through! Spider Walk. Needs to hurry. Back Stream. Kind of flailing. Uh oh. That's not good. NO! Time is going red. That's it! Oh my.

99. Yuuji Urushihara is next! And last! Cross Slider. Swap Salmon Ladder. Last rung. Unstable Bridge next. Spider Walk. Good pace right now. Lots of time now. Speedy! Back Stream. He goes under. Staying up requires more power. Struggling at the end! Needs to hurry! NO! Time is running out. NO! That's it! The Back Stream has claimed another victim!

Four have survived! Seventeen are just wet!

We have now entered the SASUKE ASEAN CUP portion of our programming. There are places for Gold, Silver and Bronze. That means one out of the four will be left out. Who will it be?

Yusuke Morimoto is up first. There is a clock on the screen. It's to determine who has the fastest (final) time. Rumbling Dice is through! Having trouble on the Iron Paddler though. Whoa! He's trying to use his body to power through and he almost goes too far over. Almost there. Damn. That took a lot out of him. Crazy Cliff Hanger up next.

The clock, then, penalizes you for resting too long between obstacles. At the he goes..YES! He is the first person to clear the obstacle! Granted only three people attempted it before him. Still.

Curtain Cling. He's the first person to try this (version) of the obstacle. And he clears! Vertical Limit! He's the first to try this too! He's through! Getting himself set. Now the 1st person to try the new Pipe Slider! But commercials first.

Back. Can he do it?

At the end...swinging...NO! He had a foot on and then was out! The Curse of Katsumi Yamada has struck again!

Kenji Takahashi is next! He found a great place to practice the Crazy Cliff Hanger jump! Roughly 30 minutes of airtime left.

Rumbling Dice! The classic Rumbling Dice overhead shot. Iron Paddler next. HOLY COW. That was fast. Well, now we know how that is supposed to work.

Crazy Cliff Hanger but...lets look at some commercials first.


Crazy Cliff Hanger. NO! He lost his grip! D'oh!

So does that mean Morimoto is guaranteed bronze?

Kazuma Asa! Let's look at recycled footage! And...commercials before he does anything.


Rumbling Dice is cleared! Iron Paddler is no problem!  Clearly Kongu has shown us the way.

Crazy Cliff Hanger. At the jump. Here he goes..NO! Damn.

So now Morimoto gets at least silver, right?

Unprompted and unexpected hug!

Let's look at Kanno almost go flying off into the street off of Ryo's roof.

Last man standing! Hitoshi Kanno!

Rumbling Dice is no problem!

Iron Paddler up next. Yes! Ironically, the person who had the hardest time with it tonight went the furthest so far.

Crazy Cliff Hanger next. Nine minutes left.

Here he goes. At the jump...Commercials!


Getting set for the jump. NO! Oh wow.

NO ONE. NO ONE expected Yusuke Morimoto to go the furthest, if they even remembered who he was from the previous shows. SASUKE-kun!

Wait...hold on. Did I miss something? Because no one reached the Final Stage, there are no automatic slots to the ASEAN Cup? I'm confused.

OK. Hold on. They go to the house and NOW they invite Morimoto. But for the rest you have to check the homepage!

That's it! The Back Stream became a huge competitor killer this time, which is fine with me. This time NO ONE should have been surprised that they had to swim yet clearly people were unprepared for it and even the ones that did practice for it struggled.

There were a bunch of first time clears (even if they didn't get screen time) and we possibly saw a new star in the making. Someone who was not even in the 1st Grade when SASUKE first started.

On to the ASEAN Cup! Oh there's something going on in America but I don't really pay attention to that.


Tuesday, June 18, 2013

SASUKE RISING 2013 Competitors List 出場選手

Official List

2013 Lucky Man 2013年福男
Yuuto Doi 土井雄登(19)
Comedian Hamaka-n 芸人(ハマカーン)
Kenji Hamatani 浜谷健司(35)
Rikishaw driver 人力車の車夫
Yuusuke Kosugi 小杉雄介(38)

Pro double dutch player プロダブルダッチプレーヤー

Lovely karate fighter 美人空手家
Hikaru Nakajima 中島ひかる(20)
Temp agency worker 人材派遣業
Katsuhide Torisawa 鳥澤克秀(41)
Pro basketball player プロバスケ選手
Yuuta Miyanaga 宮永雄太(31)
Yamasa Soy Sauce worker ヤマサ醤油
Yoshinori Iida 飯田悦規(20)

Asakusa Ekimise Shinobiya Manager 浅草EKIMISE 忍屋店長
Tsuneo Kitamoto 北本幹雄(31)
Animal pharmaceutical company worker 動物薬品会社勤務
Daijiro Hara 原大二郎(27)

Comedian (King Kong) 芸人(キングコング)
Yuuta Kajiwara 梶原雄太(32)

Former K-1 fighter and Muay Thai champion 元K-1ファイター、元ムエタイ王者
Kouzou Takeda 武田幸三(40)

Insurance company salesman 保険会社の営業
Hitoshi Ishii 石井仁志(23)
Architect 建設業 設計士
Takashi Nishimura 西村偉志(23)

Apparel industry worker アパレル業
Hiroaki Honbo 本保宏晃(24)
Messenger メッセンジャー
Kohei Miyamoto 宮本 康平(28)

Pro Bodyboarder プロボディーボーダー
Hayato Enokido 榎戸崇人(23)

Ramen shop manager ラーメン屋店長
Shinichirou Narita 成田真一郎(28)
Eggs'n Things waiter Eggs'n Thingsウェイター
Hiroshi Miyamoto 宮本啓史(30)
Yamazaki Bread Manager 山崎パン店長
Hiroyuki Gondou 権藤博幸(32)

The first Mr. Japan 初代ミスタージャパン
Takayuki Suzuki 鈴木貴之(22)
Former model and female boxer 現役モデル女子プロボクサー
Tomomi Takano 高野人母美(25)

Dancer, Actor ダンサー、俳優
Yusuke Onuki 大貫勇輔(24)
Male synchronized swimmer 男子シンクロ
Naoki Sakamoto 坂本直紀(23)

Singing group SOLIDEMO member 歌手 SOLIDEMOメンバー
Keiichi Sawaki 佐脇慧一(22)

Odakyu Bus driver 小田急バス運転手
Hiroaki Takauchi 高内博昭(60)
Acrobat アクロバットパフォーマー
Kazutaka Yoshino 吉野和剛(34)
Buddhist altar shop worker 仏壇屋
Kazunari Ookubo 大久保和也(35)

Shinto altar craftsman 神棚職人
Ryu Maeda 前田竜(36)
Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare worker 厚生労働省
Takahiiko Suzuki 鈴木隆彦(33)
Pro Figure Skater プロフィギュアスケーター
Rina Sayama 澤山璃奈(24)
Pro Wrestler プロレスラー
Minowaman ミノワマン(37)

Comedian (Dangan Jackie) 芸人(弾丸ジャッキー)
Orakio オラキオ(35)
Mainichi Newspaper worker毎日新聞
Motohiro Mizoo 溝尾元洋(32)
Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare Permit Personnel 厚生労働省認可団体職員
Seiichi Endo 遠藤清一(58)
Gasoline Station Worker 自動車整備工場勤務
Shingo Yamamoto 山本進悟(38)

Long drive golfer ドラコンプロ
Yasuhiro Yamazaki 山崎康宏(43)
Construction machinery repair man 建設機械の修理販売
Shou Seto 瀬戸捷(19)
Tokyo Univeristy grad student 東大大学院生
Yuudai Nakano 野中雄大(23)
Cutter company カッター屋
Ryoichi Arashida 嵐田良一(41)

Hamada City, Shimane prefecture Sports Instructor 島根県浜田市体育協会 体操指導員
Kouji Hashimoto 橋本亘司(29)
Shootboxer シュートボクシング
Rena レーナ(21)
Forestry worker 林業
Takahiro Tsuda 津田貴博(24)
Security Guard 警備員
Sumito Namba 難波澄人(35)

Comedian (Twintell) 芸人(ツインテル)
Takeo Seto 勢登健雄(32)
Actor, performer 俳優、パフォーマー
Tomoyuki 知幸(33)
SEGA Attendant SEGAの接客
Koshige Yamamoto 山本浩茂(20)
Wholesale market employee 卸売市場従業員
Yousuke Watanabe 渡辺陽介(29)

Mover 引越し業
Satoma Okada 岡田知磨(19)

Architect 住宅設計士
Keishi Mizukawa 水川圭史(32)

Gekitetsu member バンドマン 撃鉄
Joji Amano 天野ジョージ(28)
Taxi driver タクシードライバー
Hiroki Shimoda 下田大気(36)
Nursing care worker (former boxing champion) 介護職(元ボクシング日本チャンプ)
Shintaro Uchiyama 内山眞太郎(67)
Entertainer 芸人
Yutaka Onedari おねだり豊(27)

Talento タレント
Rika Kawamura 川村りか(30)
Sports Trainer スポーツトレーナー
Li En Zhi リーエンチ(38)
Pro MTB Rider プロMTBライダー
Daisuke Morikami 守上大輔(28)
Former Gymnast 元体操選手
Masaaki Kobayashi 小林正明(38)

Journalism student (Watanabe Entertainment College research student) 新聞奨学生(ワタナベカレッジ研究生)
Tsuyoshi Takigawa 瀧川剛(21)
Vocational school student 専門学生
Taiga Hoshikawa 星川大我(19)

Maritime Self-Defense Force Member 海上自衛隊
Hidekazu Inoue 井上英和(27)
Stuntman スタントマン
Hiromasa Katakabe 片伯部浩正(30)

Karate and Aikido instructor 空手、合気道の指導員
Hiromori Yoshida 吉田容盛(21)

Tumbling leader タンブリング指導者
Takayuki Kawashima 川島孝幸(33)
Medical student 医大生
Toshiharu Takami 高見俊治(21)
University student (Sophia University) 大学生(上智大学)
Kouki Ookoshi 大越光貴(24)

Izakaya manager 居酒屋店店長
Terukazu Ishikawa 石川輝一(35)

Apparel shop Vanquish manager アパレル業(VANQUISH)
Tatsuhiro Fujimatsu 藤松龍弘(22)
Firefighter 消防士
Yuuta Iwabuchi 岩渕佑太(27)
Tokyo Waterworks employee 東京都水道局
Keita Tomino 富野恵太(31)

Elementary school teacher 小学校教諭
Makoto Nanbu 南部誠(26)
Miss Universe Japan Osaka Representative ミスユニバース大阪代表
Yoshie Kurozumi 黒住良恵(23)
Electronics shop employee電気屋経営
Masashi Hioki 日置将士(32)
Car mechanic 自動車整備
Yuuji Washimi 鷲見裕二(35)

Marketplace delivery man 市場での配達仕分け業
Kyosuke Maeda 前田京介(20)

University student 大学生
Kousei Itou 伊藤耕世(19)
Rafting guide ラフティングガイド
Masashi Toyoda 豊田将士(30)

Sports Instructor スポーツインストラクター
Masaaki Tatayama 立山正明(43)

University student 大学生
Yuusuke Morimoto 森本裕介(21)
Hairdresser 美容師
Akinori Higashi 東明範(28)

Swimmer (4th place at the Sydney Olympics) 水泳選手(シドニー五輪200m背4位)
Tomoko Hagiwara 萩原智子(33)
Stay-at-home mom (KUNOICHI finalist) 専業主婦(KUNOICHIファイナリスト)
Mika Watanabe 渡邉美香(34)

Pro Boxer プロボクサー
Ryo Miyazaki 宮崎亮(24)
Former Gymnast 元体操選手
Daisuke Nakano 中野大輔(30)
Comedian 芸人
Kinnikun Nakayama なかやまきんに君(34)
Comedian (Penalty) 芸人(ペナルティ)
Wakky ワッキー(40)

Deliveryman 運送業
Kenji Takahashi 高橋賢次(37)
Trading company salesman 商社の営業マン
Shinya Kishimoto岸本真弥(33)
Sports gym trainer スポーツジムトレーナー
Yoshiyuki Okuyama 奥山義行(42)
Sports gym trainer スポーツジムトレーナー
Yuuya Kadono 上遠野裕也(24)

University student (Keio University) 大学生(慶応義塾大学)
Keitaro Yamamoto 山本桂太朗(21)
University student (Keio University) 大学生(慶応義塾大学)
Naoyuki Araki 荒木直之(20)
Gymnastics club coach体操クラブ コーチ
Shunsuke Nagasaki 長崎峻侑(27)
Talento タレント
Hiromichi Sato 佐藤弘道(44)

Firefighter 消防士
Toshihiro Takeda 竹田敏浩(38)
Carpenter 植木職人
Kazuma Asa 朝一眞(31)
Silver accessory designer シルバーアクセサリーデザイナー
Hitoshi Kanno 菅野仁志(28)
Plumber 配管工
Ryo Matachi 又地諒(23)

Shoe shop salesman靴屋の営業
Yuuji Urushihara 漆原裕治(34)
Fisherman 漁師 第50金比羅丸船長
Makoto Nagano 長野誠(41)

Monday, May 27, 2013

SASUKE RISING 2013 Summer SASUKEライジング2013夏 Airdate Announced

The next SASUKE (tentatively titled SASUKE RISING 2013 Natsu) will air on June 27, 2013 19:00 to 21:54 JST on TBS.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Sports Danshi Grand Prix! This time actually a liveblog! 『究極の男は誰だ!?最強スポーツ男子頂上決戦』

Well, good job TBS. I didn't even know this was going to be on until forty minutes ago.

Who is the ultimate man! Sports Danshi Grand Prix!

Hey, it's that lady again.

1st Event: Mountain Flag!

1st Race: Gaku Sano (the previous winner), Mendy Sekiguchi (EXILE, rocking the flattop), Casper (Friendly g...Cross Gene rapper), Kazuki Shimizu (Gokaiger)

Set...go! Sano up quickly! And he gets it easily...or STANDING as the announcer puts it. Let's chalk it up to experience! No one was even close.

2nd Race: Yuuma Ishigaki, Kwang Soo (K-pop speed star), Wataru Mori~!, Eiji Takigawa (hey, he does the Lipivotan D commercials with Kane Kosugi)

Set..go! Commercial!


Set...go! Even going up...Kwang Soo falling behind! Wataru Mori~! gets it! Kwang Soo lost his grip in the rope. I think there should be two flags but whatever.

3rd Race: Atsushi (model), Shu Watanabe (Kamen Rider OOO), Toshisomethingorother Toshihiro Nobuyama (with One Direction background music), Jingi Irie



Nobuyama is up fastest! But Watanabe was right behind him. The first close race of the night!

4th Race: KENZO (Da Pump), Seiya (actor), ELLY (J Soul Brothers), Yuusuke Onuki (pro dancer)

Set...go! Seiya up the fastest! But Onuki is right there! They dive! And it's Seiya! He just got it!

Our final four: Sano, Mori, Nobuyama, Seiya!

Final Race: Sano, Mori, Nobuyama (announcer calls him the dark horse), Seiya

Here we go...start! Sano up the fastest! And he crushes the competition! It wasn't even close. Seiya was next up but Sano was too far ahead.

Winner: Gaku Sano! He gets the full 100 points.

Are they using Final Fantasy background music?

2nd Event: Hard Anchor. This is new. Hey, it's literally an anchor. They have to be the fastest to pull the anchor out of the water (it's

1st: Atsushi vs Kwang Soo! Atsushi seemed faster but Kwang Soo got it in first! Wow, the ladies love Kwang Soo.

Oh, they are not necessarily going against each other. One chance? Best overall time?

2nd: Gaku Sano vs Shu Watanabe! Start! Pure strength is not Sano's....strength (hey, I don't get paid for this). Watanabe was the faster of the two.

3rd: Mendy Sekiguchi vs Eiji Takigawa! Start! But a commercial first. I like how Eiji's subtitle is simply: "Crystal Takigawa's cousin".


Mendy is faster...both are the fastest so far. Mendy at sub-twelve seconds and is the man to knock off. Not very good form though.

4th: Seiya vs Irie. Both end up on the bottom of the standings.

5th: Elly vs Shimizu. Elly ends up third. This was all digested by the way.

6th: Wataru Mori~! vs Casper. Casper has a very punchable face. Start! Mori has good form! But Casper is faster in the end. Oh OK. The top two times go on to the final.

7th: Ishigaki vs Onuki. Let's see if they can crack the top two. Go! Whoops. Ishigaki lost it at the end. And Onuki is now 2nd! Wow! He had good form. And edged out Takigawa by half a second!

8th: KENZO vs Nobuyama. KENZO is a power guy (as opposed to Sano who is a speed guy). He is the acknowledged powerhouse of the group, I think. Go! Hmm...Whoa! Nobuyama is a sub-twelve! He has the fastest time! KENZO would have been into the final if not for Nobuyama as he comes in third. It's not just about pure strength.

Final: Mendy Sekiguchi vs Toshihiro Nobuyama (by making the final I am forced to learn his name).

Start! Mendy out of the gate faster...but commercials first. TBS slightly spoils things by showing one of the Shotgun Touch participants (only the top five make it there) but I ain't tellin' ya who it is. Mainly because I didn't actually see who it was.


And it's Sekiguchi! TEAM EXILE! With the fastest time of the night! Nobuyama was right behind him though.

Winner: Mendy Sekiguchi

3rd Event: Monster Box

11 boxes: Sano starts us off with a flip. In order for Mendy to stay in it, he just has to reach a decent height. Atsushi doesn't really have the form but he's kind of tall so that may or may not help him. Possibly balding Ishigaki is through. The announcer thinks ELLY has potential. LL Kwang Soo doffs his shirt to screams. Casper doesn't do anything that makes me NOT want to punch him. He shows off and almost breaks his neck in the process. Seiya shows off. Wataru Mori up next. And he doesn't even touch the box! And he almost screwed it up too. That was rad.

12 boxes: Shimizu is out! Watanabe too! Watanabe is our first run into the boxes without jumping, which is really early. Atsushi just gets it. Ishigaki grazes his butt and is out. OK, LL Kwang Soo is just playing it to the crowd. Jingi Irie is out!

14 boxes: Atsushi is through! The others pass.

15 boxes: Same height as a telephone booth. Gaku Sano is up first. And he has room to spare! Atsushi is up next. NO! But he'll get another chance. Crystal Takigawa's cousin is up next. Hrmm...did he do it? Yes! He didn't quite go over straight. I wonder if he asked Kane for tips? KENZO is well past his previous high of 12. He's been practicing! Mendy Sekiguchi up next. No problem! Nobuyama is up. Yes! The announcer is really playing him up as a dark horse.

Only Atsushi failed at 15. Do or die for him now. And he does! Oh wait. Kwang Soo didn't clear the first time either. Can he do it for the fans? NO! He hates all of you. He skipped 14 so he ends at 13.

16 boxes: Sano, Onuki, Nobuyama clear. Atsushi doesn't.

Atsushi...second try..gets paused! Commercials.


Here he goes...NO! He'll retire with 15. Kuyashii na! Crystal's cousin and KENZO also retire here. Sekiguchi is through! Lots of first try fails they skipped. Seiya is also do or die now. Yes! With bad form! Shuffling your feet is not a good sign.

17 boxes: Only eight are left. Sano and Sekiguchi are still alive so they'll stay at the top of the rankings. And Sano is through! Wataru has a grin for that. And he is through too! Onuki is through the announcer proclaims him a Monster Box dark horse. Seiya is through. Casper will need a second chance.

ELLY does it on his second try. Casper does too. But Sekiguchi is out! As is Nobuyama!

18 boxes: Wataru Mori won it last time with 18. Can he repeat? Find out after this commercial for WiiU Karaoke.

Back. 18 boxes is much taller than an old man. Thanks for telling us TBS.

Sano is up first. He is currently in third but will definitely move up. And he's through! I wonder if anyone will go for 20 tonight? Onuki is impressed. Wataru not as much. Wataru Mori is still alive! Casper up next. Last time he put his head down to run which is a first for me to see. He is now shirtless and shouty. The head of steam technique works! Seiya next. He better not shuffle his feet again. He doesn't but we need a replay to confirm that he's through!

ELLY and Onuki need another try. ELLY up first. NO! He'll retire with 17. Onuki...just catches the box! He's out!

19 boxes: We are down to four. Sano thinks he can do it but that the others can't, making me want him to lose now. Commercials first though.

Sano up first. No! He almost wiped out completely. Wataru gets polite claps as he doffs his shirt. Not screams. And he doesn't get it! That's two. Casper next.  Dude, do something to make me NOT hate you. ARE YOUR EYEBROWS FROSTED? And he rips off the padding as he fails. You're paying for that, young man. Seiya going last. None have done it yet. Can he? YES! No problem. Yeah, you'd think the acrobat would be able to do this.

19 boxes is much much taller than elementary school children.

Sano up first. Now or never. NO! It looked like he had the speed but couldn't get his hands up in time. If Wataru is to defend his title, this may be his last chance! Yes! Wait! The warning for nothing! He's through! That's two going for 20. Casper looks like a cast off from a Triad movie. And no!

20 boxes: And we're down to two! And both fail on their first try! Wataru's second try up next. NO! Can Seiya do it? But before we know if he can, let's shill suits.


Ye...wait! Did his back touch? The warning lamp is on. NO! Double champions!

Winners: Wataru Mori and Seiya! Wataru Mori is now in the lead.

4th Event: The Fence! A fifteen meter fence climb. Naturally, it's not just straight up.

1st: Atsushi vs Onuki. Onuki up quickly! Atsushi is quite behind. Onuki up the last section. Onuki is done! Atsushi is going for pride! I assume this is best time event again.

2nd: LL Kwang Soo vs Guy who does commercials with Kane Kosugi. Takigawa is up a bit quicker. Almost up to the last section. He's there! He's done! Kwang Soo is there after a wait.

3rd: KENZO vs Casper. Go KENZO! They're off! About the same...Casper now in the lead. KENZO is right behind him. KENZO loses it! Casper will be in third after Onuki and Takigawa.

4th: ELLY vs Seiya. ELLY is there for EXILE pride, dammit! ELLY is jamming up there! May be a new number one time! Seiya is sub-forty! ELLY is in third now.

5th: Sekiguchi vs Nobuyama. Nobuyama could take the overall lead with a good showing here. Go! Nobuyama is up quickly! Wow! He has a wider stance than the others. He's the new number one! Mendy is fading fast.

6th: Sano vs Mori. Mori is in the overall lead. Sano and Nobuyama are right behind him. Go! Sano is quickly up! This is his kind of event. Mori is not that far behind. And they both go sub-twenty! Oh wait. Sano is 19 seconds. Mori a shade over.

Winner: Gaku Sano!

Sano retakes the overall lead, with Wataru five points behind him.

5th Event: Power Wall! Well, I don't expect Sano or Mori to win this event.

This is head to head.

1st: Crystal Takigawa's relative vs KENZO. KENZO is the previous champion. KENZO out to the early lead. Takigawa is fighting back! It's either push your opponent all the way over or be further over the line when time expires. And it's KENZO!

2nd: ELLY vs Casper. Standstill at first. ELLY with a slight lead. Whoever can get their feet moving will win. Casper moving forward...but ELLY is not down quite yet. Casper nods to the camera which makes me transfer all my psychic powers to ELLY. AND IT'S WORKING. But it isn't enough! Casper moves on while ELLY may be looking for a new job soon.

3rd: Mendy Sekiguchi vs Onuki. By the way, the guys at the bottom of the standings are out, so good bye to Atsushi and Kwang Soo. Go! Sekiguchi in the lead. Sekiguchi is our first outright winner.

4th: Nobuyama beats Seiya (clipped).

5th: KENZO vs Sano. Standstill but KENZO quickly gets things moving. Sano is struggling. No contest!

6th: Mori vs Casper. Now Mori gets screams when he takes off the shirt. Casper lifts his up and does come on motions to Mori. I hope the wall falls on him. Commercials.


Mori is behind and is holding him off but YES! YES! YES!...Casper lost his footing after Wataru started a big push back and ends up losing.

7th: KENZO vs Sekiguchi. Battle of the powerhouses! Sekiguchi with a slight lead. KENZO is in a dangerous position. KENZO loses his footing! Sekiguchi! Wow, not KENZO's year. Sekiguchi is into the final.

8th: Nobuyama vs Mori. Mori in the early lead. Both try to use their bodies, really bending down low. Nobuyama in the lead. Wataru is back up to his feet! And he does it again! Wow! He's into the final!

Final: Sekiguchi vs Mori. Can Wataru do it again? Commercials first.


Wataru goes full body. Sekiguchi goes with his arms. Now both are pressed up against the wall. Wataru with a slight lead. Mendy pushing back though. And now he's got the momentum! That's it!

Winner: Mendy Sekiguchi!

Down to the last five! Mori, Sano, Nobuyama, Onuki, Sekiguchi.

Final Event: Shotgun Touch

Yusuke Onuki: 12 meters. NO!

Sekiguchi: 11m70cm. Yes! He gets it! He had more than enough. He's now in 2nd.

Nobuyama: 11m80cm. NO! He didn't really have to go for that much, Onuki had to since he's so far behind.

Sano: 11m80cm. He'll take the lead by five if he gets it. Uh oh. He was actually TOO FAST. His hands missed the ball and the ball landed next to his back. What a waste.

Mori: 11m30cm. He just needs to keep his lead so nothing big. And he just got it! This is not necessarily his event but he doesn't need to beat everyone to win.

Onuki: 11m70cm. YES!

Nobuyama: 111m80cm. NO! Not sure about his strategy here.

Sano: 12m10cm. Because of the first miss, this will only put him in 2nd. YES! He almost stumbled at the end. He's eleven points behind Wataru now. He did stumble at the end but he still had enough time to get there.

Sekiguchi: 12m. This will put him in 2nd. Commercials.

Back. Ye..hold on. NO! He missed it! That's it for him then. Almost no way for him to catch up.

Mori: 11m30cm. Same distance. YES! Cleaner than last time. It's his to lose at this point. He has a forty point lead.

Onuki: 11m80cm. NO!

Nobuyama: 11m80cm. NO!

Sekiguchi: 12m. YES! He's now in second.

Sano: 12m70cm. If he makes this, he's in the lead and Wataru has to do something. If not, Wataru wins and Sekiguchi is 2nd.

A quick look at Wikipedia says that the all-time record is 13m60cm by baseball player Norichika Aoki (currently with the Brewers). The all-time celeb record is 13m10cm by Kane Kosugi.


Here he goes.


That's it!

Wataru Mori doesn't have to do a thing. He's your winner!

He certainly worked for it. He was a co-winner of the Monster Box and came in 2nd in both The Fence and Power Wall.

Congratulations to Wataru Mori, your 2013 Sports Danshi Grand Prix winner!