Wednesday, July 01, 2015

SASUKE 31 SASUKE 2015 Liveblog!

Quick note!

Through the kindness of others, I was actually able to go and see part of the taping for SASUKE 31 when it happened in May.

Here we go!

1. Ryo Miyazaki! And that's it! Already! Champion ga!

That was on the Rolling Hill by the way.

2. Takahiro Ogata of Panther is up next! And heeeeeee...doesn't get the Rolling Hill! Everyone is losing it!

Abareru-kun and Ogata do some schtick.

3. It's Katsuhide Torisawa! And he kills a poor soda bottle. Here he goes! And he gets the Rolling Hill! Slowly down the other side. Or not! He hits a spinning roller and hits the water!

And NOW we get the opening! SASUKE 2015!

Tell us Jay Kabira! The rest of the people are just sort of there. Hey, fist bump.

 9. Daijiro Kurokawa! And he gets the...NO! He was up and was down!

11. Abareru-kun's goal is the Final Stage! And he gets..a familiar song. Hey! Wataru Mori! And the water! Not quite the goal he was looking for.

12. Ryosuke Yamamoto next! Slowly down the other side of the Rolling Hill. Yes! Our first shown Log Grip. Yes! The Orgel is up next. And it has background music! And he's he's not! Tomoko Kaneda is shocked!

15. Koji Iwata! Drinks milk to power up! Rolling Hill is no prob! Now the Log Grip. Yes! Orgel next. And he's through! Jump Hang. NO! Not enough milk, I guess.

The man from Ehime had a good jump but just couldn't hang on.

21. Hey it's Kota Ibushi. Tensai Pro Wrestler! But before we see that, let's get a commercial.


Pro wrestler tsuyoi desu! Slowly down the other side. And he's through! Log Grip up next. Orgel...slowly. But he's.....through! And a roll! To the Jump Hang! Sasuga pro wrestler! Pro wrestler tonda! He doesn't have much time though.

Tackle is next! 140, 160, 180! Yes! Soritatsu Kabe up next. Time is running out though.  Not even one chance. NO! (Behind the scenes! Ibushi tried to do a flip off the wall and almost killed himself).

22. It's Wataru's his wife! Tomko Kaneda! She...takes her face plant the Rolling Hill! Ima no shippai! Mou ikkai yaritai!

23. Kazunori Goto! Haha. He dropped his hammer. Rolling Hill is no problem! Slowly down the other side. Yes! Log Grip up next. NO!

Let's get some words from Shimon. Ninki model!

30. Shimon Ookura! Last year he failed the Log Grip. Slowly. And he's through! Through the Log Grip! Orgel with music. And he's almost there. Slowly. Yes! Jump Hang next. Not much time left though. DOESN'T MATTER!  To quote nico nico ああああああああああああ

31. Finally! Someone with actual potenti...oh dammit CMs.


31. Masashi Hioki! Rolling Hill is no problem! Log Grip too! Safe! Orgel is...cleared! Jump Hang. He goes the rare left. 140. 160. 180! Through! Soritatsu Kabe...first time. No! Yes! Needs to hurry though. Time is going red soon. Going red. Will he make it? YES!  YES! YES! 00.12 left! Epic.

Hioki gets a chant from the crowd!

And we've got our first 2nd Stage Chair Sitter!

Oh hey. Katsumi Yamada. Let's see him "teach" his Black Tigers.

32. Shinj Matsubara and his snakes! Here he goes! Rolling Hill is OK. Slowly down the other side. Took a while but he's through. Log Grip. Yes! Orgel is no problem. Jump Hang. Nice jump! Tackle is no problem but does he have enough time? Up the Soritatsu Kabe on the first try! Needs to hurry though! Time is going red. Hurry! Hurry! NO!

33. Black Tiger Watanabe times up! Yamada takes issue with the time.

34. Hiroshige Yamamoto is up next! He's the only Black Tiger who has cleared the 1st Stage. No problem on the Rolling Hill. Log Grip. Orgel next. Whoa! Some trouble with the Jump Hang but he's through! Tackle is no problem. But his shoe is coming off! Katsu hake! Soritatsu Kabe. On the first try! Tarzan Rope. Lots of time left. Time goes red but he's through!

Yamada carries Yamamoto on his shoulders because Yamamoto has now cleared the 1st Stage two more times than Yamada had in the last ten plus times he was on the show.

Let's watch some fit people fail! (35, 36 and 39 to be exact).

40. Hanamoto! Rolling Hill is no problem! Log Grip. Yes! Orgel and Jump Hang are no problem! Could he be next? First time up the Soritatsu Kabe! Tarzan Rope. Yes! Needs to hurry! And he's through! That makes three!

41. Golden Bomber's Kyan Yutaka! Got a bunch of fluff only to fail the Rolling Hill! Sorry, got distracted.

43. TBS announcer and 45. Youtuber fail.

49. Wang clears!

52. Ayano Oshima would have cleared the Soritatsu Kabe if she had time!

Cecil Tanaka and Mika Watanabe fail the Orgel and some fail the Rolling Hill.

Slackline champion Yukimi Fukuda timed out on the Tackle.

63. Yuka Murofushi is up! Rolling Hill and Log Grip are no problem! Orgel is no problem! Jump Hang! But she's in the net! That's going to take up some time. Tackle. Is different for women. Soritatsu Kabe...and no! Time up!

64. Kenjiro Ishimaru! Times up on the Soritatsu Kabe!

72. Ragivalu Anasatase! Is a Tahitian dancer! And he leaps off the Rolling Hill! He's blasting through the course right now! Jump Hang. Tackle should be no problem! Soritatsu Kabe. And he gets it on the first try! Whoa! Almost overshot the platform. Lots of time left. And that's it! 35.68! Fastest time today? The other 2nd Stage Chair Sitters are impressed!

75. 76. and 79. Clear!

Damn it! I wanted to see at least two of those.

81. Ryoichi Tsukada is up next! He's in ABCZ a Johnny's Group! Tonda! Sorry, I'm doing like thirty different things right now. Log Grip is clear! Jump Hang! He goes left. Tackle. He has one, maybe two shots at the Soritatsu Kabe. Here he goes. NO! He had one hand on. One more. YES! Tarzan Rope. Needs to hurry. Time is going red. Lumberjack Climb. NO!

Yuuji gives him words of encouragement.

82. Golden Bomber's Kenji Darvish! Ratings time! He's through the Rolling Hill. Log Grip. Yes! Orgel next. No problem! Jump Hang up next. He goes left!  Tackle next as Tomohiro Kawaguchi makes a cameo in the background. Soritasu Kabe. Maybe one chance. He got it! Does he have enough time! Time will go red soon. Needs to hurry. This is where he timed out last year. YES! He got it!

Kenji gets love from the crowd.

Let's go to Yuusuke Morimoto!

91. Yuusuke Morimoto! Whoa. Really fell behind. Let's say that he cleared. Because he did!

The chickens are revolting! Because they want you to go to 92. Shingo Yamamoto's new gym!

Whoops! Oh hey, was that an All-Star failing the 1st obstacle? Sure was! That was NOT a well thought out strategy.

13 have cleared! Although we haven't seen them all!

93. Toshihiro Takeda! Just did the same thing as Shingo! Asa says nande!

94.  Drew "Doreschel"!  Rolling Hill...going down he..almost loses it! But he jumps and forth between the platform and last roller and he save himself! Log Grip and Orgel are no problem. Jump Hang. Tackle and Soritatsu Kabe are no problem! And he's through!


We are back and someone's getting engaged! On stage! Kazuma Asa gives his lady friend a ring! For once, he's not the one crying.

95. Kazuma Asa! SASUKE Tameshii. SASUKE Tameshii so much that I can't keep up! He's done! Ore ga Asa Kazuma jya!

96. Hitoshi Kanno is through!

97. So is Tomohiro Kawaguchi.

98.  Makoto Nagano! Hey! He's throwing mochi from his house? New Casa Nagano! 97 have run! 17 have cleared!

Rolling Hill is no problem. Log Grip next. That's a terrible head shot of Nagano. Orgel. Is fine! Jump Hang next. Tackle. Lots of time left. He's...slowing down though. He looks spent. Soritatsu Kabe. Maybe one shot at this point. NO! Almost! And that's the time going red. The crowd is silent. The Chair Sitters are shocked.

Oh hey, Kongu

99. Yuuji Urushihara! He's our two-time champion! He looks nervous! CMs first.

Back. Rolling Hill. Slowly. Yes! Log Grip and Orgel are fine! Jump Hang is no problem! Tackle next. Lots of time left. Soritatsu Kabe next. NO! One more time! NO! Uh oh. He gathers himself. NO! NO! Time is going red. NO! Yuuji is heartbroken. He tries again after the timer has gone but still can't do it. Hioki is in tears.

We are down to one!

100.  Ryo Matachi! Let's take a look at him overseas! Rolling Hill and Log Grip are no problem. Orgel. Is fine! Jump Hang! He goes left. Tackle Next. Slowly. Soritatsu Kabe. Taking a breather. Getting ready. One try. Maybe two. NO! NO! Uh oh. NO! Masaka! Masaka! NO! Time is going red. That's it! Asa and Yuuji are pained.

That's it for the 1st Stage!

2nd Stage

Let's talk to some celebs for a bit.

Masashi Hioki first! Cross Slider and the Salmon Ladder Kudari are clear! Spider Walk next. OK! Backstream. And he's through! Wall Lifting time. Time going red soon. Or not! 10.5 left!

That's one to the 3rd Stage! Hioki continues to be a Chair Sitter!

Hiroshige Yamamoto is next! Cross Slider. Salmon Ladder Kudari next. Yamada shouts encouragement. He's through! Spider Walk next. Through! Backstream next. And he's stopped dead by the jets! He's losing time! Time going red soon. He's through but...time is up!

 40. Hanaomoto fails the Salmon Ladder Kudari.

49. Wang times up.

72. Ragivalu Anasatase is up next. Cross Slider. Salmon Ladder is no problem! Spider Walk next. Backstream is no problem! Neither is the Wall Lifting! 17.02 left! He's through! That's two!

75. Howng Kung-Cheen! He failed the Cross Slider last year! Here he goes...Wait. Again! His hand slipped! Something looked a bit off at the beginning though.

76. Yuichi Okada! He's through the Cross Slider and the Salmon Ladder. Spider Walk. Backstream. Wall Lifting....NO! He can't make it!

Lots of blather here that I forgot to do

97. Tomohiro Kawaguchi! He's our last man to run the 2nd Stage! Cross Slider. Salmon Ladder is no problem. Spider Walk up next. Yes! Backstream. He's through! Lots of time. Wall Lifting time. That's it! That's eight!

3rd Stage

Hioki Masashi will be first up. Baby Drum Hopper!

Drum Hopper. One more to go. Clear! Iron Paddler is no problem! New area coming up. Sidewinder-RRRRRRRRRRRR.

First. Yes! Holding on for dear life. 2nd. 3rd. Last coming up. Yes! Barely! And he's through!

Crazy Cliffhanger is next but we've got some ads first.7


Going for the jump. NO!

Ragivalu Anastase! Is up next! He's now in a rather modest t-shirt and shorts. Drum Hopper is no problem. Not exactly textbook form on the Iron Paddler but he's through.

Sidewinder-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR next. And he's through!

Crazy Cliffhanger next. Here he goes. He's powering through. OR NOT!

Kenji Takahashi is next! Hey, they really haven't been showing much of him tonight.

Two have gone. None have cleared!

Drum Hopper is no problem. Iron Paddler next. Quickly through

Sidewinder-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR up next. 1st. 2nd. 3rd coming up. Yes!  And he's through!

Crazy Cliffhanger next. Here he goes. At the jump. NO!

Yuusuke Morimoto, future Prime Minister of Japan is up next!

Drum Hopper is no problem! Iron Paddler next. No problem there either!

Sidewinder-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR next. 1st and 2nd are fine. Whoa! Scary attempt on the 3rd! One more to go. YES! And he's through!

Crazy Cliffhanger up next. It's taken out everyone else so far. Here he goes. At the jump. YES! Everyone cheers! Even the celebs who have just been sitting there watching! Good job guys!

Vertical Limit Kai next. And he's onto the Pipe Slider! Yes! CMs first though.

Here we go. Can he do it? Swinging. YES! Perfect! He's through! SASUKE-Kun is going to the Final Stage!

Drew Dreschel is next! Already on to the Sidewinder-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Crazy Cliffhanger up next. At the jump. NO!

Let's move on to Kazuma Asa! Whoops. Got distracted again. Bad year for me.

Anyway, he's on to the Crazy Cliffhanger. At the jump. NO!

Hitoshi Kanno is next up!

Drum Hopper and Iron Paddler are no problem. Sidewinder-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR next. And he's through!

Crazy Cliffhanger next up. At the jump. YES! He did it!

Vertical Limit Kai next. NO! He used up all his energy on the Crazy Cliffhanger I guess.

One more. Can Tomohiro Kawaguchi join Yuusuke Morimoto?



Drum Hopper is no problem!

Iron Paddler next. No problem!

RRRRRRRRRRRRR next. 1st. 2nd. 3rd! One more to go. Yes! Crazy Cliffhanger up.


At the jump. NO!

Mariya Nishiuchi has the feels.

And only one is left. Yuusuke Morimoto!  He has a long history with the show. This is the dream. He is living his dream.

Here we go.

Final Stage

12 meter Spider Climb. 12 meter Rope Climb.

Here he goes.

He's up to the rope! 15 seconds left! Can he do it? Time is going red. YES! 2.5 seconds left! YES! YES! YES!


Everyone gets the feels. Hugs all around!

Well, we have no idea what the future holds for the show. According to sources, the show needs to break a 10 percent rating to stay on the air. If there is no future show, there is probably no one better to achieve a Kanzenseiha to close out the show than the boy who grew into a man watching, training for, being on and then conquering it.

Congratulations to Yuusuke Morimoto!

Tuesday, June 02, 2015

SASUKE 30 Complete Results

Complete results of SASUKE 30 as per the SASUKE 30 DVD Set

Note that the runs where no name or results are attached were not shown on the DVD(s).

No. 2901 内藤大助 Daisuke Naito 1st Stage Jump Hang
No. 2902 菅谷哲也 Tetsuya Sugaya 1st Stage Niren Soritatsu Kabe (1st Wall)
No. 2903 鳥澤克秀 Katsuhide Torisawa 1st Stage Hedgehog
No. 2904 西村 卓 Takashi Nakamura 1st Stage Log Grip
No. 2905 池田顕斗 Kento Ikeda 1st Stage Log Grip
No. 2906 菊川靖博 Yasuhiro Kikukawa 1st Stage Log Grip
No. 2907 池谷秀喜 Hideki Iketani 1st Stage Log Grip
No. 2908 鈴木吉之 Yoshiyuki Suzuki 1st Stage Hedgehog
No. 2909 檜物 量 Ryou Hinokimono 1st Stage Niren Soritatsu Kabe (2nd Wall)
No. 2910 深沼 開 Kai Fukanuma 1st Stage Tarzan Rope (fell into the water)
No. 2911 オラキオ Orakio 1st Stage Jump Hang
No. 2912 寺田真二郎 Shinjiro Terada 1st Stage Hedgehog
No. 2913 大西由真 Yuma Oonishi 1st Stage Log Grip
No. 2914 森澤教有 Noritomo Morisawa 2nd Stage (Retired) 1st Stage 5.87 seconds
No. 2915 板谷友弘 Tomohiro Itaya 1st Stage Niren Soritatsu Kabe (2nd Wall)
No. 2916 成田童夢 Doumo Narita 1st Stage Hedgehog
No. 2917 脇 雅美 Masami Waki 1st Stage Hedgehog
No. 2918 清宮裕太 Yuuta Kiyomiya 1st Stage Jump Hang
No. 2919 田中晴輝 Seiki Tanaka 1st Stage Long Jump
No. 2920 釜石龍馬 Ryuuma Kamaishi 1st Stage Hedgehog
No. 2921 尾野透雅 Yukimasa Ono 1st Stage Log Grip
No. 2922 やすこ Yasuko 1st Stage Log Grip
No. 2923 井田洋人 Hiroto Ida 1st Stage Log Grip
No. 2924 遠藤清一 Seichi Endo 1st Stage Hedgehog
No. 2925 垣迫三夫 Mitsuo Kakisako 1st Stage Long Jump
No. 2926 Little Tiger 1st Stage Log Grip
No. 2927 佐々木陽子 Youko Sasaki 1st Stage Log Grip
No. 2928 大西由希子 Yukiko Oonishi 1st Stage Log Grip
No. 2929 RENA 1st Stage Log Grip
No. 2930 eMY 1st Stage Hedgehog
No. 2931 松原慎治 Shinji Matsubara 1st Stage Tarzan Rope
No. 2932 山本浩茂 Hiroshige Yamamoto 2nd Stage Swap Salmon Ladder
No. 2933 渡辺陽介 Yousuke Watanabe Log Grip
No. 2934 欠場    
No. 2935 電気店勤務 日置将士 Masashi Hioki 3rd Stage Crazy Cliff Hanger
No. 2936 葉隠長門 Hagakure Nagato 1st Stage Jump Hang
No. 2937 尾登滉一 Kouichi Oto 1st Stage Niren Soritatsu Kabe (2nd Wall)
No. 2938 永野智哉 Tomoya Nagano 1st Stage Jump Hang
No. 2939 松原勝大 Katsuo Matsubara 1st Stage Hedgehog
No. 2940 松尾信宏 Nobuhiro Matsuo 1st Stage Jump Hang
No. 2941 大倉士門 Shimon Ookura 1st Stage Log Grip
No. 2942 横浜流星 Ryusei Yokohama 1st Stage Hedgehog
No. 2943 鈴木祐輔 Yuusuke Suzuki 1st Stage Niren Soritatsu Kabe (2nd Wall)
No. 2944 村山卓也 Takuya Murayama 1st Stage Hedgehog
No. 2945 権藤博幸 Hiroyuki Gondou 1st Stage Log Grip
No. 2946 橋本祐樹 Yuuki Hashimoto 1st Stage Hedgehog
No. 2947 岡田行正 Yukimasa Okada 1st Stage Log Grip
No. 2948 永瀬 匡 Tasuku Nagase 1st Stage Jump Hang
No. 2949 山本涼介 Ryusuke Yamamoto 1st Stage Jump Hang
No. 2950 石井勇太 Yuuta Ishii 1st Stage Tarzan Rope (forgot to unhook the rope)
No. 2951 飯島豊久 Toyohisa Iijima Hedgehog
No. 2952 石丸謙二郎 Kenjirou Ishimaru 1st Stage Jump Hang
No. 2953 渡邊美香 Mika Watanabe 1st Stage Hedgehog
No. 2954 澤山瑠奈 Rina Sawayama 1st Stage Log Grip
No. 2955 欠場
No. 2956 花井瑠美 Rumi Hanai 1st Stage Jump Hang
No. 2957 セレズーニョーワ・アントニーナ Antonina Seleznyova 1st Stage
No. 2958 川浦あすか Asuka Kawaura 1st Stage Hedgehog
No. 2959 小山田卓馬 Takuma Oyamada 1st Stage Lumberjack Climb Time-out
No. 2960 天野ジョージ Joji Amano 1st Stage Niren Soritatsu Kabe 2nd Wall
No. 2961 内山麿我 Maroka Uchiyama 1st Stage Jump Hang
No. 2962  陸上自衛隊員 河野神樹 Kodama Kono 1st Stage Long Jump
No. 2963 今村大祐 Daisuke Imamura 1st Stage Jump Hang
No. 2964 割谷泰三 Taizo Wariya 1st Stage Jump Hang
No. 2965 洪 恭芹 Kung Cheen-Howng 2nd Stage Cross Slider
No. 2966 廖 龍隼 Liao Long Zhun 1st Stage Jump Hang
No. 2967 川口朋広 Tomohiro Kawaguchi Final Stage Time-out
No. 2968 上遠野裕也 Yuuya Kadono 2nd Stage Backstream
No. 2969 星川大我 Taiga Hoshikawa 2nd Stage Wall Lifting 3rd Wall
No. 2970 片伯部浩正 Hiromasa Katakabe 2nd Stage Backstream
No. 2971 高見俊治 Toshiharu Takami 2nd Stage Swap Salmon Ladder
No. 2972 守上大輔 Daisuke Morikami 2nd Stage Wall Lifting 1st Wall
No. 2973 岸本真弥 Shinya Kishimoto 3rd Stage Vertical Limit
No. 2974 石川輝一 Terukazu Ishikawa 2nd Stage Backstream Time-out (13.61 1st Stage Clear)
No. 2975 加藤僚馬 Ryouma Katou 1st Stage Lumberjack Climb Time-out
No. 2976 松尾陽介 Yousuke Matsuo 1st Stage Long Jump
No. 2977 前田 竜 Ryu Maeda 1st Stage Long Jump
No. 2978 ケイン安齋 Kane Anzai 1st Stage Lumberjack Climb Time-out
No. 2979 樽美酒研二 Kenji Darvish 1st Stage Lumberjack Climb Time-out
No. 2980 竹田敏浩 Toshihiro Takeda 2nd Stage Swap Salmon Ladder
No. 2981 なかやまきんに君 Kinnikun Nakayama 2nd Stage Cross Slider
No. 2982 ワッキー Wakky 2nd Stage Swap Salmon Ladder
No. 2983 金子陽祐 Yousuke Kaneko 1st Stage Niren Soritatsu Kabe (2nd Wall)
No. 2984 染谷幸喜 Koki Someya 2nd Stage Swap Salmon Ladder
No. 2985 山口康輔 Kosuke Yamaguchi 1st Stage Hedgehog
No. 2986 長崎峻侑 Shunsuke Nagasaki 3rd Stage Crazy Cliff Hanger
No. 2987 欠場
No. 2988 武 尊 Takeru 1st Stage Hedgehog
No. 2989 中野大輔 Daisuke Nakano 1st Stage Niren Soritatsu Kabe
No. 2990 リー・エンチ Lee Enchi 3rd Stage Crazy Cliff Hanger
No. 2991 ドリュー・ドレッシェル Drew Dreschel 3rd Stage Crazy Cliff Hanger
No. 2992 山本進悟 Shingo Yamamoto 2nd Stage Back Stream
No. 2993 漆原裕治 Yuuji Urushihara 2nd Stage Wall Lifting 1st Wall
No. 2994 又地 諒 Ryo Matachi Final Stage Time-out
No. 2995 高橋賢次 Kenji Takahashi 2nd Stage Swap Salmon Ladder
No. 2996 菅野仁志 Hitoshi Kanno 3rd Stage Crazy Cliff Hanger
No. 2997 白鳥文平 Bunpei Shiratori 1st Stage Jump Hang
No. 2998 朝 一眞 Kazuma Asa 3rd Stage Crazy Cliff Hanger
No. 2999 長野 誠 Makoto Nagano 2nd Stage Swap Salmon Ladder
No. 3000 森本裕介 Yuusuke Morimoto 2nd Stage Wall Lifting 2nd Wall

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

究極の男は誰だ!?最強スポーツ男子頂上決戦2014 Sports Danshi Grand Prix 2014!

Just got home. Celebrating the Emperor's birthday is serious business.

Our host hosts.

YOU can win a Toyota Land Cruiser Prado! Or maybe just a big key.

1st Event: The Fence!

15 meters of pure metal!

Mandy Sekiguchi! Our defending champion! He's in a red jersey. Unfortunately, he lost the flattop.

And his opponent will be...everyone is looking to check. It's Masato! He gets the legend tag.

1st Pair: Mandy Sekiguchi and Masato

Ready. GO! About the same as we go to the commercial. Thanks for spoiling one of the final three, TBS. Why don't you just not show the replay of SASUKE in my area while you...oh.


They're off! About the same. Mandy having a bit of a problem. Masato about to get the top first. He's way ahead. 22.83!  41.64 for Mandy. Is it the pressure?

Masato is first. After two.

2nd Pair: Ryusei Yokohama and Yuki Sawa! Lots of shirtless posing during their pre-taped intros.

Both are under the age of 21. Will youth prevail tonight? They're off. Sawa off to a good start but Yokohama is not far behind. Sawa lost his footing! Yokohama is almost there! 28.37! He'll be second! Sawa finishes with a 30.50.

3rd Pair: Robin (from Hawaii) and Daiki Miyagi. Miyagi is on Terrace House, a reality show on TBS. Synergy!

Dare da? After this commercial.


Robin up quickly! Miyagi is struggling! Robin in the red zone. Still a bit behind the lead times though. 26.97 for him. Miyagi is still going. 37.33 for him. At least he's not last!

3rd Pair: Yosuke Imai (another Terrace House person - complete with Taylor Swift music) and Nagase Kamen Rider guy.

4 percent body fat!

They're off! About the same but Nagase loses his footing but makes up for it! He's almost up! Imai is strugglging! 36.89 for Imai. 23.50 for Nagase. He's in 2nd!

Another Legend. Screaming Iketani is my favorite. Ladies clap politely while Iketani wants to show that there's no difference between him and the young uns.

4th Pair: Naoki Iketani and Yusuke Onuki. Legend versus Dancer!

They talk about Onuki's elite DNA.

Dochi da?

Go! But we get a commercial first. No finals spoilers this time.


About the same but Iketani with a slight lead. Both in the red zone! Last spurt! Almost a photo finish! 22.89 for Onuki and 23.29 for Iketani. Masato stays in the lead!

5th Pair: Hayato Takizawa is all sweaty and Ryo Matsuda (another Kamen Rider guy). Hrm..some foreshadowing.

Here we go! Takizawa with a slight lead. In the red zone! NO! Matsuda slips! He's out! 27.09 for Takizawa and NOTHING for Ryo Matsuda.

Masato is still in the lead! I smell a fix!

6th Pair: Seiya and Oh..Seiya has a job on NHK and Toshihiro Nobuyama with One Direction background music.

Hrm. They are leaving Gaku Sano and Wataru Mori for last maybe?

Dochi da!

Go! Both are quick up! Nobuyama in the lead! In the red zone! Nobuyama gets sparkles! Seiya behind him. 17.90 for Nobuyama! Our first sub-20!

But now it's time for two past champions in Gaku Sano and Wataru Mori, who had a VERY vocal fan in the audience. Oh wait. That's his wife.

7th Pair: Gaku Sano and Wataru Mori. I missed Seiya's time but he's not in the running so whatever. Did I miss a pair?

17.90 is the time to beat.

They're they go! Mori is behind. Sano is blazing up the Fence. Sano is done! Mori is well behind. 16.83 for Sano. And 21.13 for Mori! Which is enough for third.

2nd Event: Hard Jumper!

This is new.

1st Group: Imai, Masato, Iketani, Yokohama

Timing and stamina needed here!

Not much to say as they are just jumping. Masato is out! At only 28! Others are still going strong. Past 50 now. Imai is out at 56. The oldest versus the youngest now. Iketani visibly struggling. And he's out! At 85. Yokohama wins group 1!

2nd Group: Sawa, Mori, Onuki, Nagase

Here they go! Going into 20. All are past Masato (not that it matters). Going into 50. Everyone still alive! Nagase is out! Past 70. Past 80. Going into 90. Mori struggling. Sawa looks cool. Past a hundred. 125. Onuki struggling. And he's out! At 141! Mori is skipping at this point. Sawa still going strong. And that's...wait. I'm confused. Whoops. Sawa screwed up. Mori is in!

3rd Group: Takizawa, Sekiguchi, Miyagi, Matsuda

Takizawa is out early! Others are still going. Fast forward to 60. Matsuda is out! Miyagi and Sekiguchi left. Almost at a hundred. Miyagi is out!

4th Group: Robin, Nobuyama, Sano, Seiya

They're off!

All still around at 30. Seiya seems to be losing the timing though. Dangerous. Into 50. Nobuyama is out first! He stepped on the hurdle. Seiya is out! He was losing it! Robin and Sando left. Sano trips! It's Robin!

Championship group: Sekiguchi, Yokohama, Mori, Robin

The hurdles are slightly sped up, I believe.

Whoa, that seems a bit fast.

Yokohama looks like he doesn't have the timing. But it's Robin out first! Mandy seems to have it in control. Almost at 90. Yokohama is out! Down to Sekiguchi and Mori! Iketani cheers on Mori! Past 120. Who will it be? NO! Mori can't do it anymore! Sekiguchi is the winner!

Mandy moves up to 4th. Mori is now in 1st. Sano and Robin follow. Nobuyama tied for 4th.

3rd Event: Monster Box

Oh hey, Maggie is there.

Iketani versus the new stars! I'm assuming they mean Mori and Sano and not just everyone else.

13 boxes: Iketani looking smug.

Easy jump for him.

Mori next. Sano is the first show off. How great would it have been if he failed?

Mandy has no problem. Wonder why they are showing all this. Ah. Setting up Iketani versus the whippersnappers.


Back. Still at 13.

Robin is a darkhorse. He's through as is Yokohama.

Masato up next. He did the Monster Box back in '02. He could just do 13 back then.  And he does it now!

15 boxes. Same height as that rare beast in the wild, a telephone booth.

Imai is out here! And Miyagi is out too! No more Terrace House!

Yokohama up next. He just gets it! Legend Masato up next. He's through!

16 boxes. 13 left.

I wonder if Iketani is subtly mocking the others with his shuffle. Anyway, he's through. Mori has some thoughts about that. Iketani gives the nod of "yeah, you did that."

An out of control looking jump still gets Sano through.

MANDY SEKIGUCHI TAKES HIS SHIRT OFF FOR EXTRA POWER! But we'll know the result only after these commercials.

Back. His shirt is still off.

It works!

Still at 16. Onuki up next. He's through! He thinks he can get up to 18.

Yokohama THSOFEP. And it doesn't work! He's out!

Masato is up next. AND HE THSOFEP.  Once one person unleashes his abs everyone else just follows.


Hmmm...I think his butt grazed the edge.  Yep. You can see the white move a bit. He's out!

17 boxes barely fits in your house.

11 are left.

Iketani's children cheer him on. No problem!

Sano up next. Too early for him to THSOFEP. Lots of air with lots of extracurriculars after.

By the way, past champs get stars on their jerseys. Mandy's is somewhere as his shirt is still of but he gained no extra power.

A bunch of others clear 17. Do or die for Mandy.

17 boxes. 2nd Try.

Seiya THSOFEP. Nobuyama and Onuki did too but it only worked for Seiya.

Here he goes. Did he do it?

Let's go to the slo-mo! Yes! The fix is in!

Giri giri!

8 are left!

18 is taller than a bald old man in a public bath.

18 boxes.

Iketani is up first to show 'em how it's done.  He gets a clap going. That's new. What's with that weird shuffle. I'm pretty sure he's trolling people.

Mori next. He's through!

Sano up. No! That get's a maji from Wataru.

Mandy up next. 18 is his personal best. Can he top it tonight? NO! Not enough speed on his run. He's relying on his arms a lot once he gets up.

Robin next. Still has his shirt on. Yes! It was kind of ugly but whatever gets you over. He's topped his personal best.

Nagase was our first run into the box guy. Seiya failed too. As did someone else.

18 boxes. 2nd try.

Sano THSOFEP because it's do or die for him. No problem! Clearly the wind on your nipples increases your ability to Monster Box.

Mandy up next. He's in 4th so he needs a good showing here. Gosh darn he gets paused a lot.



NO! He's out! He'll end his day at 17.

Nagase, Matsuda and Seiya are all out.

19 is quite high.

Iketani is up first. He's through! Sha!

Pressure on all the others now.

Wataru Mori is up next. At 31 he's one of the show's elder statesmen. Yes!

Wow, Iketani's abunai was right. He had to re-angle his head at the end to clear.

Sano next. Two are already through. And that's three!

More than enough air on that one. Tons of pressure on Robin.

Robin is in third now. A win or tie would put him in 2nd. AND HE DRIVES HIS CROTCH INTO THE MONSTER BOX.

19 boxes. 2nd Try.

Only Robin. And he THSOFEP. Of course. Call me when someone doffs their shorts. NO! He's done!

Down to the same three as last time.

Iketani! Mori! Sano!

20 boxes is bigger than a small helicopter.

20 boxes.

Iketani first. But first, some commercials.


Legend versus Shinsedai! Where have we heard that before?

Whoa! Warning light time! Let's go to the replay!

No! His legendary butt (and then his legendary back for good measure) graze the box!

Mori next. NO!

Iketani with a slightly snarky sounding doushita?

That's two who'll have to try one more time.

Sano up next. Will he be the first to do it?

Warning light! Looks like the inside of his leg grazed the box. It was just his shorts! He gets it!

20 boxes. 2nd try.

Whoa Iketani hasn't lost a Monster Box competition in 15 years? Is that right?

Iketani THSOFEP between jumps. He's serious! Legendarily serious!

Freeze frame!

Let's look inside the Prado YOU could win tonight!

Back to Iketani's 2nd try. NO! Legendarily impossible!

Of course Mori THSOFEP. He NEEDS to.

In a diss to Sano. Iketani says that if he's going to lose, he wants to lose to Mori.

Handshake of respect and disrespect! To Mori and Sano respectively.


Iketani is disappointed.

Iketani moves up to 5th. Mori is still in the lead!

From here, the bottom eight go bye-bye.

4th Event. Pulls Drive!

1st Pair: Sano and Nobuyama. Nobuyama goes for THS..and Sano does it too. You know what they did.

Sano is in 2nd. Go! Time is important, of course. Sano behind. Nobuyama in the lead. Sano struggling. 34.09 for Nobuyama! Sano still going. But he times up! You have two minutes!

Nobuyama is first after two.

2nd Pair: Nagase and Sawa. Sawa gets a 102.95. Nagase times out.

3rd Pair: Matsuda and Yokohama both time out.

Seiya was able to do it but he got digested. Oh wait. Did he?

4th Pair: Robin and Iketani. Nobuyama still in the lead. Robin with a slight lead. But both are moving. Both are close! Iketani almost there! 58.01 for him! Robin needs a bit more! Almost there! Past a minute! Almost there! Just did! 128.02! Iketani now in 2nd!

6th Pair (we'll just say Seiya was in the 5th): It's a Terrace House explosion! Imai and Miyagi.

Both moving along fine so far. They are two of the bulkier contestants. Most are slim models. Past forty seconds for both. Iketani looks safe in 2nd. Past a minute. Miyagi almost there. Miyagi gets 119.69. Imai is struggling.  NO! Imai times out.

Miyagi is in 4th.

7th Pair: Onuki and Masato. This is something that Masato should probably excel at.  Just in case, he THSOFEP. Why even put it on, man? Why even put it on?


Masato's car is rolling along nicely. Almost there already! He's done! Onuki still going. And he's done! 36.22 for Masato. Onuki with 45.65! Nobuyama still in the lead! Iketani now 5th!

Nobuyama used his whole body. Masato relied mainly on his arms.

8th Pair: Mori and Sekiguchi. Mori THSOFEP. As does Mandy. This is SERIOUS.

GENERATIONS, Mandy's bandmates are there.


Mandy working that chain fast and furious. Mandy clearly in the lead. Almost on Nobuyama's time. Mandy is done! I don't think he beat Nobuyama though. Mori not done yet. NO! He times out. So close! 40.06 for Mandy!

Your winner is Nobuyama!

Mori still in the lead. Nobuyama now in 2nd with Mandy in 3rd.

5th Event. Power Wall.

The bottom eight are gone.

1st Round

1st Match-Up: Mori versus Onuki. Mori is in the lead but he needs to at least get to the 2nd round to be safely in the top three. They've THSOFEP. Go!! Onuki with an early lead. Mori fighting back. Onuki with a big push! That's it! Onuki, who had the height and weight advantage just got that momentum.

2nd Match-Up: Sekiguchi versus Iketani. Should be a foregone conclusion, sorry Iketani. Sekiguchi with a big size advantage. Sekiguchi is a two time Power Wall winner. Iketani puts up a fight but it was Mandy all the way.

3rd Match-Up: Sano versus Robin. Sano in 4th right now. He gets a better match-up than Mori or Iketani. Shirts go aflying. Sano with a slight lead. Robin has a slight size advantage. But it's not as pronounced as the other match-ups. If Sano loses here, he's probably out. Robin with a big lead but Sano is fighting back! Sano not giving up! Almost even again. Robin with a slight lead if he holds on. And that's it!

4th Match-Up: Masato versus Nobuyama. IS MASAT...oh. I thought he was going for his shorts. Nobuyama with an early lead. Masato fighting back. He's got the momentum going. That's it!

2nd Round

1st Match-Up: EXILE PRIDE versus Onuki. It'd be better for Mori if Mandy won (yeah, I'm biased). Start! At a stand-still!



Sekiguchi with a slight lead now. Onuki looks...scary, actually. Like he'll pop a vein in his head or something. Mandy with the lead. Onuki looks cray cray and finally Sekiguchi puts him away! Onuki could only hold Mandy off for a bit.

2nd Match-Up: Robin versus Foregone Conclusion. Need I say that shirts have been doffed? Masato with a slight lead. Masato with the big push. And that's it!

It's on like Donkey Kong. Masato versus Mandy!

Power Wall Final

Mandy Sekiguchi versus Masato.

The giant head still does nothing. At least make flames shoot out of it's nostrils or something.

Mandy with a slight lead as both men drive themselves into the wall.

But commercials first.


Mandy with a slight lead. Masato fighting back. Back even. Mandy with some momentum. Still mainly even. Mandy with more of a lead. EXILE POWER! Masato fights back! Still Mandy with the lead though. Now Masato with the lead! Less than ten seconds. It's MASATO!

Power Wall winner: Masato!

So who will be the final three? Did Masato do enough with his win to make up the points? Mandy will probably be first because he reached the final.

Final Event: Shotgun Touch

Mandy Sekiguchi is in the lead! Then Masato and finally Wataru Mori rounds out our final three.

Mori has to go the furthest to make up the points.


Mandy needs this to keep his lead.

No problem!


Masato to try to take over. Here he goes. Yes? No? Slo-mo? Shingi no lamp! Looks close! Yes! He's in the lead by five.


Mori tries to take the lead from Masato who took the lead from Mandy who was the leader. Yes! He's up over Masato by ten now.


Mandy gets it to retake the lead.


Masato will try to regain the lead. It's basically the first person to miss is out at this point. Masato is currently in third. NO! Not even close! It's down to Mori!

Masato will finish at third!

Mori gets 11m00cm to take the lead!


If Mandy misses, it's Mori's title.


He has a 25 point lead now.


Mori to try to retake the lead. Mori's best is 11m30cm. Can he top his personal best?

Here he goes.


YES! We keep going! Or maybe not. The warning lamp is on.

YES! He just got a finger on it! He has a five point lead.

Pressure is on Mandy.


To retake the lead. Or give the title to Mori. Which will it be?

J.Geils called. He said freeze frame!

Commercials as Mandy takes his leap.


Here he goes.

YES! Wait! The lamp is on! First angle is not clear. Second is! Yes! Thirty-five point lead for Mandy.


This is serious. 12 and over is pretty darn hard.

Mori will either be one or two after this. And he gets a freeze frame too!



NO! Warning lamp. Didn't look close. It wasn't!

That's it! Mandy Sekiguchi is our first repeat (and two-time) Sports Danshi Grand Prix champion!

Mr. Spodan!

Mandy Sekiguchi is number one. Mori two. Masato three.

Till next time!