Last time! It was January 1st! And Urushihara Yuuji was all like...
And the All-Stars were all like...
What will happen this time?
It's SASUKE 2010 Spring!
Ping pong balls! Are drawn!
Shingo is 90!
Levi is 48!
Akiyama is 98!
Nagano is 99!
Yuuji is 100!
Did they save those numbers for them or something?
Koji Hashimoto is 60 but shh...we shouldn't know that yet.
Cookman!
People put up their fists! Gonzo!
1st Stage!
Dream Steps. Rolling Maruta. Jump Hang. Bridge Jump. 115 seconds to clear.
1. Fukumoto Shinichi! He's from Ibaraki! Steps..NO!
4. Akagawa Masaru is from Toyama! He's a train engineer? Wait. Cable car engineer? Is he going to take the cable car all the way there? Here he goes! Steps. Yes! Rolling Maruta. NO! Barely got going!
6. Ryo Matachi! He's from Kanagawa! Wow! UNCLI in the house! We see the auditions for SASUKE they held on Valentine's Day. Here he goes. Steps. Yes! Rolling Maruta. Yes! Jump Hang coming up. Yes! He'll go under. Bridge Jump...this is new...YES! No problem! You have to go fast. Log Grip. YES! Soritatsu Kabe. Needs to get set. Ye..NO! Again. NO! Again...YES! Does he have time? Circle Slider. NO! He mistimed the jump! Or rather, he didn't jump. Check out that sweet banner. He slaughtered the Bridge Jump though. Damn. Kibishii!
7. Harahsima Masami! Hang glider guy! He's from Saitama. And he's started a takoyaki truck? Wha? OK. Here he goes. Steps. NO! He looked like he was going to dropkick the platform.
9. From Africa! He's a baseball player! Steps. Yes! He's from Burkina Faso. Rolling Maruta. Whoa! He's stil on! And still going! Can he do it? Yes! Never seen that before. Jump Hang. No! He didn't get the jump. Hontou zannen!
10. From Ishikawa! Dandy Sakono! He's one of the few celebrities this time around. Let's talk to his high school teacher. Yeah, it's not like we have a hundred people to cover tonight or anything like that. Here he goes. Steps. NO! Go-getsuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Four met their dooms. Wait. Five. Wait six. No seven. No eight. That was a lot in a short time. Yeesh. OK. Let's use the power of digital TV and fix this...
Aichi futsal player failed the Jump Hang. So did a guy from Mie. Guy from Iwate failed the Rolling Maruta. Someone from Shiga failed the Jump Hang. So did the guy from Nagano. And the guy from Nara. And the guy from Tokushima. But hey, the guy from Hyogo failed the Rolling Maruta.
18. Sato Jun! STQer in the house! He's from Tokyo. He does the dreaded parkour. But first, let's go to commercial.
Back!
Steps. Rolling Maruta. Yes! Jump Hang. He goes over. Needs to pick it up a bit. Jump Bridge. Yes! Log Grip. Did he fail here before? Was that a different teenager? Either way..YES! Soritatsu Kabe. Yes! One try! Circle Slider...YES! Lots of time! He can do it! Tarzan Rope...Rope Ladder...Time is going to go red soon...YES! With 7.21 seconds left!
1 out of 18!
Shingo refuses to give him a hand! Refuses!
Whoa...He only got one hand on the Circle Slider initially.
And now...from Kochi!
21. Sakamoto Ryoma! Um..OK. I don't really thinks so but..Steps. Yes! Rolling Maruta. NO!
26. Kira Yuuji! He's from Niigata! I believe he'll fail the Jump Bridge. Here he goes. Steps...Whoa! He's holding on to the carrots! Rolling Maruta is OK! Jump Hang..YES! Slowly. A bit behind. Jump Bridge coming up...Kira Yujiiiiiiiiiiiii!!! The commercials never lie! Never!
27. From Gunma! Imai Hiroshi! He's a daruma craftsman! Um...Go. Wasted a bit of time. NO! Love the guy in daruma costume.
CMs coming up as we get a look at one of the members of Shinsengumi Rien.
Back.
30. Shinsengumi member Seki Yoshiya! Steps...almost...YES! Rolling Maruta is OK! Jump Hang...gets set...FACE PLANT! The face! The hair! No! By God no!
34. Higa Ryoji! He's from Okinawa but he works at Muscle Park! Here he goes. Steps. Yes! Rolling Maruta. Yes! He's the SASUKE Park demonstrator. Jump Hang..Yes! He goes over. Bridge Jump...YES! No problem! Can he break the Muscle Park curse! Log Grip! Yes! Still has time but can't dawdle. Soritatsu Kabe..NO! Again. NO! Time is running out. No! Time is going red! For pride! NO! You're fired!
Watanabe from Hiroshima fails the steps. 20. 23. Akita- ken. Squash player. Pejun fails the steps. Lots of fast forwards today!
Going back..Watanabe from Hiroshima fails the Dream Steps. As did the guy from Wakayama. A guy from Miyagi failed the Bridge Jump. The guy from Kagoshima failed the Dream Steps also. As did the guy from Akita. The guy from Kumamoto made it to the Log Grip and that's it. The guy from Fukuoka made it to the..Steps.
40. Takahashi Kenji! The Kongo Express! He was a finalist the last time! Let's see some children feel him up and watch him play with children. Wow. That was a weird sentence.
39 have tried! 1 has passed!
Can Kongo be next? He's from Saitama by the way. Steps. CMs...*sigh* time to go back and fix some stuff...
Back!
By the way, they are called the Dream Steps. I am a moron.
Rolling Maruta. Yes! Jump Hang! Yes! Takai! He goes over. Lots of time. Jump Bridge. Yes! Log Grip coming up. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. Yes! One time! Lots of time. Circle Slider. Another one hander! But he' got it! Tarzan Rope! Yes! Lots of time! 16.48!
He's happy!
Let's relive a very special moment from last time with the Octopus.
43. Kuramochi Minoru! Tako-tenchou! Here he goes. Steps. NO! Tako-tenchou!!!
Ninja Warrior alert! Levi is coming up next.
Let's look at his past history.
48. Levi Meeuwenberg! OK then. Let's cut to a commercial and entice the viewers with shots of testers doing the 3rd Stage. Wow, that looks hard.
Back!
Steps! Yes! Rolling Maruta! Levi! Jump Hang. Takai! He goes over of course. Bridge Jump. Yes! Log Grip. Levi! Soritatsu Kabe. First try! Circle Slider! Good jump! Tarzan Rope as the crowd starts a Levi chant. Lots of time. Can he beat Kongo? Yes! He's through! 19.16! Brian and Richard had something going on. Maybe if he'd finish with 20 seconds left? You don't really have to jump forward to get the Circle Slider going I guess. It was a little tougher than I expected!
49. Tajima Naoya! He's from Saitama too! Rip that book! Twist that can! He was so close to the Final Stage last time were it not for a mental error. Steps. OK! Log Grip. Whoa! Legs flying everywhere! Abunakatta! Jump Hang..whoa! Scary time again! But he's OK and goes under. Jump Bridge! OK! Log Grip up next. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe..NO! And again...Yes! Right as a Tajima chant starts. Circle Slider. NO! You have to jump hard or the platform does nothing. Everyone is shocked.
50. Okuyama Yoshiyuki! He's up next! He made the Final Stage last time! His kids gave him a letter! "Dear Dad, Make the final or no tie for you this Father's Day."
CM.
Back! Steps! Rolling Maruta! Jump Hang..he goes under. Bridge Jump is good! Log Grip coming up. Yes! Okuyama! He's from Yamagata by the way. Soritatsu Kabe! No problem! Circle Slider. Yes! Good form! Tarzan Rope. Crowd tries to do the two-syllable chant for a guy with four syllables in his name. Clear! That's four! 7.96 left!
No problems aside from a scary moment on the Jump Hang.
Maeda Chiaki from Chiba fails the steps. A Flair bartender from Tokyo too. A guy from Okinawa fails the Rolling Maruta and a cheerleader from Saga fails the Steps. A guy from Aomori failed the Jump Hang and another guy from Kyoto stopped at the Soritatsu Kabe..damn that was fast. But there are still lots left!
51. Whoops. Sakakibara Tetsuji from Shinsengumi Rien..Steps. Yes! Rolling Maruta! Yes! Jump Hang! NO! Not nearly as painful looking as the other guy.
57. Guy from Mongolia! Steps. OUCH! Did he just leave a dent in one of the steps?
Shut up Iketani.
59. Iketani Yukio. Steps. Not all that Olympian in nature. Rolling Maruta. Yes! Jump Hang. Goes high! Should go over. Yes. Kind of iffy in the net and loses some time. Bridge Jump...NO! He went way too slow for that. You have to go for it. Somewhere, Naoki is laughing.
Guy fails the steps. Oita guy fails the Soritatsu Kabe. I'll go back and fix this later.
K. A guy from Shiga failed the Steps. Oita stops at the Soritatsu Kabe. A guy from France fails the Jump Hang. The guy from Okayama fails the steps. The guy from Nagasaki fails the Soritatsu Kabe. Guy from Yamaguchi (yay!) fails the steps (boo!). Ryo Shirai is from Fukushima and he failed the Jump Hang. And a guy from Kagawa failed the Log Grip.
60. Hashimoto Koji! He's from..hey, does he have a theme song now? Sorry, he's from Shimane. Let's see him train and visit his parents! They have a SASUKE shrine set up for him. Let's get confused and see more testers failing.
Back.
Steps. No problem! Rolling Maruta. Is OK! Jump Hang! Yes! He'll go over. He's from Shimane by the way. Bridge Jump is no problem! Log Grip coming up. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. One try! Circle Slider. Hashimoto Jump! Abunai! But he's through! Tarzan Rope! Lots of time! Here he goes! Time is going red. Yes! 2.8 His parents are happy! Kanno has 89 by the way. 2.80 exactly.
Let's skip numbers all the way to 69 (dude!)
69. Brian Orosco! He's yet another free runner. He's the America number two. Steps. Log Grip. Jump Hang next. Takai! He'll go over. Bridge Jump. Yes! Log Grip next. YES! Lots of time! Soritatsu Kabe. YES! Circle Slider. I wonder if Brian knows they're calling him the Number Two. Circle Slider is no problem. Tarzan Rope. Lots of time. Yes! That's six! Hrm? He must have done something afterwards? He wanted to beat Levi but he got tired partway through. 10.31 by the way.
70. Takeda Toshihiro! He's up next! Let's see Takeda shill Move Sports while training and studying. He was the only All-Star to survive last time.
CMs.
Back. Reppin' Gifu-ken! Steps. Yes! Rolling Maruta. Yes! Jump Hang next. YES! He goes over. Nice form dropping down into the net. Bridge Jump is no problem! Log Grip! Soritatsu Kabe. First try! Hahaha. That was weird. Circle Slider. Getting set. Yes! Tarzan Rope. Lots of time left. What is that weird echo chant going on? Yes! That's seven! Shingo DOES NOT CARE! 9.42. Abunakatta! Perfect form on the Rolling Maruta.
74. Torisawa Katsuhide! Will blow his stamina lifting that barbell! Did he bring that with him? And yes. He's huffing before he even hits the steps. He tries to hold on but just gives up. Should have used something lighter.
And then the sideline reporter freaks him out.
79. Richard King! Oh wait. He's from New Zealand? OK then. He's wearing clothes this time. Steps. Rolling Maruta is no problem. Jump Hang. Yes! Bridge Jump. YES! Log Grip..NO! Ouch? What happened? F*CK! Not me. Someone on the course was VERY loud. He was soooo close.
80. Lee Enchi! He's from Taiwan! He has his SASUKE towel hanging in a strategic place! People in Taiwan know who he is! He's Taiwan-famous! It's like being net-famous. But only in Taiwan. Hey..is that a Condor Hero? No! It's Lee Enchi! But let's hit a commercial first.
Back.
Lee Enchi! He's kind of tall. Steps. Rolling Maruta. Yes! Ouch. Jump Hang. Yes! He'll go over. Bridge. Yes! Log Grip. No problems so far. Yes! Didn't have his legs fully wrapped around it. Soritatsu Kabe! One time! Circle Slider. Getting set. Yes! Tarzan Rope. Crowd chant. Lots of time left. Yes! That's one for every ten! Or 8 for 80! 14.29. That was awesome. They cut to Kongo clapping then had to drop the camera down to show Yuuji standing next to him.
81. Shimamura Bodybuilding guy. Steps! Hahahaha. Let's laugh with the crowd!
Udon guy, pottery guy, rice guy, strawberry guy, another guy, tofu guy, grape guy all fail. Not a good day for farmers.
Guy from Kagawa (Udon guy) failed the Steps. Another Kyoto (pottery) guy failed the Jump Hang. Kasahara from Niigata (rice guy) failed the Steps. Strawberry guy from Tochigi failed the Steps. Yoshimura from Fukui failed the Rolling Maruta. A guy from Tottori failed the steps. Grape guy from Yamanishi failed the steps too. As did a guy from Aichi.
And the sun has gone down.
87 have gone! An old man is next!
88. Hahaha. Everyone was surprised when he got his number I guess.
Do you think something like this happened at the beginning of the day?
Octopus: Hey, I got 96! *Does the happy octopus dance*
M9 Guy: Give that back right now.
Octopus: Aw. I got 43.
M9 Guy: Damn straight.
Octopus: *Does the sad octopus shuffle.*
CMs.
Back. Steps. NO! Yuuji acts like he thought the guy was going to go all the way or something.
89. Kanno "Guns" Hitoshi! Pow pow! Zap zap! Last time he was the surprise 1st Round failure. But he has read books! About mental training! He's ready! Check the smoooooooove music Kanno gets. He should start popping and locking on the stage. Wow. Does he look smaller? Steps. Rolling Maruta. Jump Hang coming up. Yes! He's upper middle so he goes over. Lots of time. Woo..Bridge Jump is clear but looked iffy. Log Grip. Yes! Dekiru ka Kannooooooo! Soritatsu Kabe. Yes! Circle Slider. Gets set. Yes! Lots of time lots of time. Tarzan Rope. Kanno chant. YES! That's nine! His parents are happy! 10.84. He's relieved.
90. Yamamoto Shingo! From gasoline station arubaito to area manager! He's known SASUKE success and failure!
Those chickens are revolting! It's Yamamoto Shingo! Chicken Run was such a good movie. Here he goes. Steps. Whoa! Log Grip. What's with the swinging legs today. Shingo almost gives himself whiplash on the Jump Hang. He goes under. Bridge Jump. YES! Log Grip. He knows he has to pick up the pace. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. Yes! Mondai arimasen! Circle Slider. Yes! WHOA! Yamamoto! Tonda tonda! Tarzan Jump. If anyone can fail this, Shingo can. But he won't! Lots of time! YEAH! 6.85! He's happy! The crowd is happy! There were about three points where he almost blew it but like Butler in the NCAA tournament he pulled it out!
92. Hioki Masashi! He gets his own music! He works at a electronics store. Damn, I can't concentrate. This music is just grooving. It's like he should have his own old school police show. Here he goes. Whoa. But yes! Rolling Maruta. Jump Hang. Gets set. Yes! He goes under. Bridge Jump. Log Grip. OK! He's a dark horse! He'll fail the Circle Slider I think. Soritatsu Kabe. No! Try again. Ye..YES! He's over. Circle Slider. Here he goes. NO! Took off too far away! Mou chotto! Never doubt the commercials.
95. Kishimoto Shinya! He'll bend a frying pan for your pleasure! He's from scenic Shizuoka. The family is there. That means children crying! One can only hope. NO! Whoops. Steps and that's it. Nande? Maji ka yo? Maji man, maji.
96 have gone! 10 have passed!
97. He's a priest! And that's it! Sad bell! Akiyama is upset that people are going too fast!
Woo...check out that old school hair. Let's see. Fishing. Fishing. Shoes. Yeah, OK. I get the progression. The next SASUKE champion will sell suits at like Haruyama or something.
98. Akiyama Kazuhiko! He's next! He's the first ever SASUKE champion. He's not visited the 2nd Stage for a while now. Can he do it? Here he goes! Steps. Yes! Rolling Maruta. Yes! Jump Hang. He has problem with these type of things. Yes! Ikuuuuuuu! He goes under. That may have cost him some time though. Bridge Jump. He's nervous. YES! Log Grip. Still has time. YES! Soritatsu Kabe coming up. Needs to get set. No! Still has time but has to get it now. NO! One more chance. Cut in time. NO! That's it! Time Up! Damn. That was the best he's done in a while.
Yow, that's tight shirt Nagano has got on there.
99. Nagano Makoto! Is next! Hey, Lee gets to hang with the All-Stars. Will the shirt help or hinder? He has his usual cast of supporters. Co-workers, wife, child. Here he goes. Steps..CMs first.
Back.
Steps. Yes! Rolling Maruta. Beaten! Jump Hang. He goes over. Bridge Jump is no problem. Mondai arimasen. Log Grip. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. Gets set. Yes! First try! Circle Slider. Here he goes. NO! And he takes a header into the water! Wow. Yappari! Yuuji is freaked out. The crowd is surprised. The only person not surprised is the wifey. Yuuji knows it is GO TIME.
Well, that was a nice header he took into the water.
Let's take a look at the Asakusa shoe company man Urushihara Yuuji! Here's a question. Are Yuuji, UNCLI and the STQers doing well because they think beyond Monster 9 and whatever they can come up with?
100. Urushihara Yuuji! Here he goes! Steps. He is the leader of the new generation. Rolling Maruta. Yes! Jump Hang. Gets set. He's dizzy. Yes! He goes over. He is still dizzy. Needs to speed up. Bridge Jump. Yes! Log Grip. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe coming up. Yes! No problem! Poor guy gets the chryon all over his run. Circle Slider..CMs.
You'd think the old guard would have an easier time with most of these obstacles but the new generation literally grew up watching these obstacles being done so many times that they shouldn't pose a problem.
Back.
Log Grip. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. Yes! Circle Slider. Nervous time. Gets set. Yes! Tarzan Rope coming up! Yes! Lots of time. Time will go red though so he can't dawdle. Yes! That's 11! UNCLI in the..crowd! All-Stars golf clap. 7.52! Wow, he was spinning fast on that thing. No wonder he got dizzy.
2nd Stage.
Let's see the new obstacles. They have 95 seconds. Slider Drop, Double Salm...HOLD THE PHONE! They just showed all 100 competitors. They've never done that before. Well, just the names anyway. And in order! Wow. I'm verklempt.
18. Sato Jun is first! He's had trouble the Salmon Ladder before. Slider Drop is no problem. Double Salmon Ladder...at the flip. YES! On to the Unstable Bridge. First plank. Going to the second. NO! Damn. Well, he gets a little further each time. It'll be his time one day.
Kongo is next! But after these commercials.
40. Takahashi Kenji. Slider Drop. Double Salmon Ladder. At the flip. Yes! Unstable Bridge. First plank. Yes! Be careful. Yes! Balance Tank. Yes! Metal Spin coming up. Yes! Wall Lift. Lots of time. 30! 40! 50! Yes! 20.9 No problems at all for Kongo.
The kids love Kongo!
48. Levi Meeuwenberg is next! Here he goes. Slider Drop..Whoops! What the hell? He didn't keep the bar straight before it dropped to the next track. Yikes. Looks like no one knew it could do that. The commercials never lie.
Bars are Levi's kryptonite!
50. Okuyama Yoshiyuki is up next! Slider Drop. OK! Double Salmon Ladder. At the flip. YES! Needs to pick up the pace though. Unstable Bridge. First plank. Yes! Careful. Yes1 Balance Tank. Metal Spin. Needs to hurry. Yes! Go go go go go! Hurry! Yes! Yikes. He knows he almost blew it. 5.0!
60. Hashimoto Koji is next! Slider Drop. Double Salmon Ladder. Yes! Unstable Bridge. First plank. Yes! Yes! Balance Tank. Yes! Metal Spin coming up. Here he goes. Yes! Wall Lift. Yes! 5.4! That's three through!
69. Brian Orosco is next! The hopes of America are on his shoulders! Slider Drop. Yes! Double Salmon Ladder. At the flip. Yes! Needs to get going though. Unstable Bridge. First Plank. Yes! Needs to pick up the pace. Be careful. Yes! Balance Tank. Yes! Metal Spin coming up. Yes! Go! Needs to hurry! Not much time! Go. Go! YES! The Heart-Attack Kid is back! 1.4! That was impressive. He just picked up the pace like it was nothing.
70. Takeda Toshihiro is up next! But first a commercial or two.
Back.
Takeda! Slider Drop is no problem! Double Salmon Ladder. At the flip. Yes! NO! He missed a rung! He wasn't ready for the shock of the bar doing that? Ah..as he missed he wasn't really ready for the impact.
Is it me or is the ladder not even? Takeda's reward is getting called baka by Nagano.
80. Lee Enchi! He's next! Slider Drop. Yes! Sal..sorry, DOUBLE Salmon Ladder. At the flip. Whoa! He's got it. Unstable Bridge. First plank. Be careful. OK! Balance Tank. Metal Spin coming up. He's failed this twice before..NOT THIS TIME! JUST gets the third wall up and he's through! The others are nervous! 4.1!
89. Kanno Hitoshi! Is up next! He trains! He looks at himself in the mirror! He trains while looking at himself in the mirror! Here he goes! He sports the bling! Slider Drop. Double Salmon Ladder. At the flip. Yes! Unstable Bridge. First plank. Yes! Be careful. Yes! Needs to pick up the pace..Balance Tank...NO! Oh wow. That was a surprise.
Shingo, of course, keeps his smile while getting ready. He is the last hope of the All-Stars!
90. Shingo gets more somber music this time. Here he goes. Slider Drop. OK! Double Salmon Ladder. At the flip. Yes! Watch out! He was off but he's OK! THE HAT IS OFF! Unstable Bridge. First plank. Be careful. Yes! Balance Tank. NO! He tried to jump for it from too far away! Maji ka!
Nanderou ne!
100. Urushihara Yuuji! Hey, they finally mention the boots thing. And that's it. Well alright then. Here he goes! Slider Drop. Yes! Double Salmon Ladder. At the flip. WHOA! He's still holding on! NO! His feet hit the water! Ouch. Well then. Damn.
3rd Stage
To keep the secrecy, all the obstacles are covered! Yikes. Wow, to have been there when they dropped the sheets would have been awesome.
40. Takahashi Kenji is first! Roulette Cylinder is first. That thing looks crazy. The new stars and All-Stars are all like, "What the hell is that?" Cylinder is clear. To the Doorknob Grasper. OK! Floating Board is up next. Five boards. He's at the middle. Fourth. One more to go. CMs.
This new 3rd Stage is like someone freaked out at a NAFCO/Home Depot or something. I bet the doorknobs came from the boards or something like that.
Back. Last board. Needs to drop down to safety. Yes! Ultimate Clif Hanger coming up. Wow. There are three points they have to "jump" at. First slant up. NO! Wow. If Kongu looks like he's struggling with it, it's hard.
Well, I mean, it looks hard now but now that everyone has seen it, I'm sure they'll find a way.
Ah. He couldn't get the second hand on it. Maybe you have to move to where it's a little closer together or something? And then Kongu tells Okuyama that the Ultimate is hard. Thanks Kongu. He needed that.
50. Okuyama Yoshiyuki! Is up next! Roulette Cylinder. Transition to the Doorknob Grasper. Yes! Although from the angle we just saw he could have dropped off the face of the earth. That was weird. Floating Board. First. Second. He's struggling. This is not his thing I think. At the middle board. Fourth. Fifth. Needs to drop down now. Yes! Ultimate Cliff Hanger coming up.
Here he goes. First slant...Or a commercial. Whichever.
Back.
First slant. NO! The boards took way too much out of him. And that water must be COLD because he was trying to swim out of it immediately.
Okuyama was holding on for dear life on the boards so yeah, the Ultimate Cliff Hanger was about as far as he was going to get this time.
The good thing about the Ultimate Cliff Hanger is the size. It'll be hard to simulate something like that in your backyard.
60. Hashimoto Koji! Slight cut in time as we go straight to him on the Roulette Cylinder. Doorknob Grasper. Again with the weird angle. Floating Board. At the second. Third. He's having an easier time of it than Okuyama and Kongu. Last board. Needs to drop down. Yes! Ultimate coming up. Break for some SASUKE Spray. First slant. Second. Yes! He's the first to get through.
CMs.
Back.
First slant. I wonder if he'll make it this time? Oh. Second slant. Wait. What the hell is he supposed to do next? Todakanai! Damn. Still, that seemed more like a mental than physical error. He didn't seem like he was out of energy, he just couldn't reach the next part.
OK, I think I get it. Not that it makes it any easier.
That was like the worst SNL skit in history.
69. Brian Orosco is next! Roulette Cylinder. Reaches the end. Doorknob Grasper up next! One. Two. NO! Ouch. Levi: "Brian Orosco." I don't think he was prepared to swing like that in the position he was in. It was a little bit cold. Very true. He has gotten better and better each time.
One left! About twenty minutes left! Let's kill some time! He's the last man standing!
80. Lee Enchi! He's our last hope to see any other obstacles! Roulette Cylinder. Doorknob Grasper. Sasuga pro rock climber. Floating Board coming up. First board. Does this play to his strengths? Wow. He zipped through that. Wow.
Nagano cheers him on. All eyes are on him now and I think he knows it.
Here he goes on the Ultimate Cliff Hanger. First slant. QUICKLY up to the second slant. CMs.
Back.
First slant. Second slant. Up to the top. Needs to do the jump. NO! Ouch. That's everyone. Wait, does this mean that Lee gets his name on the shirt? Darn. Lee did set the standard though, for how to do the first three obstacles. You can't dawdle and waste energy.
Let's review the fact that it took a while for people to beat the Shin-Cliff Hanger consistently.
So...what now? We still have some time. Let's see a guy actually do it. And let's see the last three obstacles. But of course they don't give us the damn names.
And that's it!
Well. That was interesting. No one new broke through. The All-Stars still struggle somewhat. The STQers are proving themselves with each new show. There is a new big obstacle that everyone has to get through before even contemplating getting to the Final Stage. Note that no one even got to the halfway point of the Ultimate Cliff Hanger so there is still some ways to go. All in all, the course didn't totally destroy people but it still presents some challenges. Good times!
Added:
By the way, what was all that stuff about Number One and Number Two for the Americans? So how come Richard King didn't get to be called the The Number Three? Wait..Number One, Two and Three? My god, we need Chin Siu Ho!
Showing posts with label live blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label live blog. Show all posts
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Sunday, September 27, 2009
SASUKE 23 SASUKE 2009秋 The Sort of Live Blog!
Power! Speed! Balance! Only those with all three of these qualities can become the next Miss Univ...wait.
Power! Speed! Balance! Only those with all three of these qualities can become the next American Idol!
That's not right either, I think.
So You Think You Can Beat SASUKE? America's Best Ninja Warriors!
I think I'm getting my wires crossed.
Since 1997...
2200 have tried! Only two have ever completed! That's 0.09 percent! Gosh, it's hard!
Don't forget that the 23rd Annual Ube International Sculpture Competition is soon! 第２３回 ＵＢＥビエンナーレ'０９ 現代日本彫刻展
Here we go!
Last time! All of the All-Stars failed! オールスターズ 全滅!
It's SASUKE 2009秋!
Nagano! Shingo! (with his personalize SASUKE towel) Yamada! Takeda!
Yuuji Urushihara!
Many comedians! And entertainers! And athletes!
The Final Stage! There are people! With their arms crossed! Now their fists are in the air! SASUKE~!
1st Stage
Let's go! It's a 130 meters long.
1. Satomi Kohei 里見恒平 is first! Jyunidantobi! 十二段跳び Curtain Slider! カーテンスライダー! Log Grip! Yes! Good showing so far! Jumping Spider...YES! GO! GO! He played in NFL Europe. Spider Walk OK. Half-Pipe Attack coming up. NO!
5. Katsuhide Torisawa! 鳥澤克秀! He ripped off his clothes! Jyunidantobi! Slowly...ye...WAIT! NO!
Emi Sekisui. 関水えみ. She's a girl. She has dogs. NO! She kind of just tried to run all over the place.
10. Hosshan! ほっしゃん Here he goes. Jyunidantobi. 十二段跳び! O! Ouch. Did he hit his face?
12. Spinboy Aichi! Or Aichi Oono. 大野愛地 He's in the Muscle Musical. Whoa! Almost didn't make it. Curtain Slider. Yes! Log Grip. NO! He couldn't hold on.
Eiko Kano wants to quit already.
17. Eiko Kano 狩野英孝 is next! Will his suit get wet? Of course. He went like three steps or so.
19. NOBU! He's also in the Muscle Musical. He's a double dutch specialist. Steps. OK. Everyone is taking it slow there. Curtain Slider is OK. Log Grip coming up. Checking. YES! Jumping Spider is a NO!
Sayaka Nakamura 中村明花 is next! She's a reporter on 王様のブランチ. Can she..NO! Right in the middle area.
Fukutarao Umemoto 梅本福太郎 (number 6) no. Log Grip. Yutti ゆってぃ (11) No on the steps. Atsushi Aoki 青木篤志 of Pro Wrestling NOAH..Steps..no. Nanami Tsukamoto 塚本奈々美 falls on the Curtain Slider. Talento Kurumi Kojima 小島くるみ falls on the steps too. Oonishi Lion. 大西リオン NO! (On the Curtain Slider).
20. Junichi Miyashita. 宮下 純一 WHOA! Good thing he has long legs. Curtain Slider is OK. Log Grip. NO! He was off from the very beginning.
Rie Komiya 小宮理英 is next! She made it to the final of KUNOICHI before. What will she do here? 120 seconds by the way. Steps. NO problem! Curtain Slider. Log Grip. Taking a while. Yes! She failed here before. Jumping Spider. Yes! Spider Walk coming up. Slowly. Slowly. Taking a while. Half-Pipe Attack...NO! Almost!
22. Tetsuro Degawa 出川哲朗 is next. And the shirt is off. Yeah yeah. Two steps and done!
Shot of the second stage for some reason.
38. Aoki Creepy Sculpture Guy. 青木保夫 No!
40. Masami Harashima 原島雅美...NO!
Minoru Kuramochi! 倉持稔 Here he g....wait. There we go.
Beauty Kokubu ビューティーこくぶ (28, steps), Yasumasa Koniwa 小庭康正 (29, Log Grip) and Hori ホリ (30, Curtain Slider) don't make it. They are all monomane specialists.
Momoko Tani 谷桃子 can't get past the steps.
Muscle Musical member Tomomi Arimatsu 有松知美 also fails the Half-Pipe Attack.
31. Takuya Kawahara 川原拓也sweats for a living or is in the Muscle Musical. Take your pick. Steps. Curtain Slider is no problem. Can he do it? Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider...Yes! Quite high too. Spider Walk is...squeaky. Half-Pipe Attack...Ye..YES! Soritatsu Kabe. Getting set. ONE TIME! Slider Jump...he's the first. He failed here last time! YES! He goes over. He has to hurry. GO GO GO! Tarzan Rope...The time is going red...jikan ga nai! Jikan ga nai! Nakatta!!!!!!!
Ninja Warrior! There were ten of them. I guess this is the first.
Ryk Maverick! Or umm...Ryk Felger? I have no idea how to turn リック・フェルガ. He designs jewelry. Yes! He was number 10 by the way. Curtain Slider is no problem. Close to the Edit! He got tied up on the Slider Jump!
Number 9, Jupe Katana ジュープ・カタナ times out on the net portion of the Slider Jump.
Number 8, Shane Daniels シェーン・ダニエルズ got to the Tarzan Rope too late.
Number 7, Jeff Iida ジェフ・イイダ timed out on the Soritatsu Kabe.
Caine Sinclair ケイン・シンクレア....Can he do it? So close..NO! He was six.
The top five are next!
42. Richard King! リチャード・キング He's a Free Runner. And a stuntman. He was 5th. Up to the Log Grip. Sure looks like he's participating in his underwear. Jumping Spider! No problem. Smooth run so far. Half-Pipe Attack. Wait..YES! Richard...KINGU! Soritatsu Kabe is on the first try. Potential! Slider Jump...Whoa...lots and lots of time. Here he goes...
CMs.
Back! Let's see his Slider Jump again. Lots of time. Underwear man. Underwear. Here he goes. Lots of time. Tarzan Rope. Up...can he do it! YES! THAT'S IT! Cue Yagyu-Gaiden! We've got one!
He's tired but happy!
SASUKE Trials! Gosh they look so damn young. Six made it.
45. Naoya Tajima! Steps. Curtain Slider. Log Grip coming up. Taking his time. Yes! Jumping Spider. Yes! A little awkward but he's through the Walk. Half-Pipe Attack. YES! Soritatsu Kabe. First time no. YES! Second time is the charm. Slider Jump...Yes! He goes under. Lots of time. Tarzan Rope. Rope Ladder. Can he be number two? YES! YES!
That's two!
47. Koji Hashimoto! 橋本亘司 YES! Edit but YES!
49. Satoshi Nakamura! 中村哲 YES!
50. Jun Sato! 佐藤惇 YES!
Jeez. Don't give them their day in the sun TBS.
51. Takayuki Kinoshita 木下隆行 of TKO! Here he goes. YES! He actually passed the steps. Curtain Slider...UH OH. Huh..OK. Didn't think that could happen.
56. Takashi Fukunishi! 福西崇史 He played soccer. Steps. Curtain Slider. He certainly looks...happy to be there. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider. Yes! Spider Walk...
CMs.
Back.
Spider Walk is iffy...He's losing his grip...He needs to get higher...NO! Aw. Monkiki sighting!
Man, I want one of those towels.
53. Yoshiki Itou! 伊藤圭槻 He was the Miyazaki Sportsman No. 1 winner which is why he gets spray from Nagano. Steps. Curtain Slider. Log Grip. Jumping Spider. Spider Walk. Half-Pipe Attack! All yes! Soritatsu Kabe! First time! Slider Jump. Needs to shave his pits. Yes! He goes over. Stuck in the net. Still has time though. Tarzan Rope. Here he goes! Can he do it? Time is going red...YES!
Wow! That's six! And he gets a hug from Nagano! What a lucky guy.
61. Takeshi Nadagi なだぎ武 is next! Steps! NO! Ouch.
Ayumu Katou 加藤歩 fails the Log Grip. The members of License ライセンス are done early. Takafumi Imoto 井本貴史 on the Curtain Slider and Kazuhiro Fujiwara 藤原一裕 on the Steps. As is Gari Nakajima ガリ中島 of Tengen テンゲン on the Log Grip. One Savanna member Shigeo Takahashi 高橋茂雄 goes down on the Steps.
70. Masumi Yagi 八木真澄 of Savanna! Steps! Curtain Slider. OK! Log Grip. Gosh he's tall. Yes! Jumping Spider! NO! He was up then down.
71. Hey hey hey. Katsumi Yamada! Cue the crying clip! It's been nine SASUKEs since he passed the 1st Stage. And it's time for Genya, an intro that's just too cool for him. Can he finally do it? Can he finally break the curse? Steps. OK. Curtain Slider. Whoa....Log Grip. OK. Jumping Spider. Spider Walk as we go to commercial.
It's hard to work up any passion about this guy anymore.
Only 122000 yen to go to Angkor Wat!
Is the legend over?
Back!
Half-Pipe Attack...Yes! I mean..OK! Soritatsu Kabe. Taking his time. First time..no. Second try. Wait. Try again. NO! Gee. Take your time Katsumi. Did he get hurt again. YES! With one arm. Slider Jump...He looks pained. NO!
TEN!
Ah. Looks like he hurt his ankle on the first Soritatsu Kabe attempt.
73. Brian Orosco! ブライアン・オロスコ! Steps. Curtain Slider. Log Grip coming up. He was the American number 2. Jumping Spider. YES! He looks serious as he FLIES through the Walk. Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! He's blitzing the course. Soritatsu Kabe first try! Slider Jump. Still lots of time! Here he goes. The final stretch. Tarzan Rope. Slowly. Here he goes. Should make it no problem! YES! That's two from America.
74. Genki Sudo! HE'S DOING THE ROBOT FOR YOUR PLEASURE! Here he goes. Style kankenai! NO! He would have coursed out anyway.
75. Shinsengumi Rien's Tetsuji Sakakibara 榊原徹士. Shut up Shimada. Steps. Curtain Slider. Log Grip coming up. Dammit, I hate Shinsuke Shimada. Yes! Jumping Spider coming up. NO! He didn't get his feet up in time.
76. Shinsengumi's Hiroya Kunisada 國定拓弥 as we go to commercial...
Back.
Kunisada gets through the Steps and Curtain..ONLY TO FAIL AT THE LOG GRIP. Oh well. Sell them CDs boys!
79. Jordan Jovtchev! He's small. Steps. Curtain Slider. Leznig looks on! Log Grip. Jumping Spider. Yes! Man, he's tiny. Slowly...Half-Pipe Attack coming up. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. First try! Wow. Slider Jump. He looks worried. YES! WHOA! He dropped down but caught the net! Yes! Does he have enough time? Here he goes. Ten seconds...HURRY! NO! NO! Hard to say what cost him the time. So close.
80. Monkiki! Akira Omori! 大森晃 AKA Monkiki (or Monkickey) モンキッキー He hasn't been to SASUKE in 8 years! Wow. That's a long time. Here he goes. Steps. Uh OH. YES! Curtain Slider. Log Grip. He knows he has to make up the time. Jumping Spider. YE..NO! Ah. His right foot didn't get it. Darn.
Taiji ishimori 石森太二 fails the Jumping Spider. And pro triathlon guy Ryoichi Yamamoto 山本涼一 doesn't take to the Curtain Slider too well. Handballer Tetsuya Kadoyama 門山哲也 muffs the Jumping Spider, Tomoki Kitagawa 北川智規 (81) misses the net on the Slider Jump. Kairi Kouchi 高智海吏 times up on the Rope Ladder.
84. Kenji Takahashi! 高橋賢次! Poor guy always falls to the knife. I know he's not that pretty but still...anyway...He gets to the Tarzan Rope with lots of time. Here he goes! Should make it with no problem! YES! That's...um...EIGHT! That's eight!
89. Wakky ワッキー is up next! Gee...the last Geinojin Sportsman was in 2007 so he still gets the title? He does some comedy with Oonishi Lion. He also gets the King Kull music that Miyazaki got. Here he goes. Steps. Curtain Slider. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider! Yes! He's up..can he do it? Spider Walk is OK. Half-Pipe Attack...Ye...WHOA! He fell but he was OK.
CMs.
Back.
Soritatsu Kabe...First time! No wait! He couldn't hold on. One more time! Slider Jump...He looks worried. NO! He didn't even reach the net.
91. Leszek Blanik レゼク・ブラニク! Steps. He won a gold medal, ya know. Curtain Slider. NO! Oops. He didn't quite make it to the platform.
We see the ones who are left.
92. Yoshiyuki Okuyama! 奥山義行! His kids are there. Steps. Curtain Slider. Log Grip. He's moving with purpose. Jumping Spider. Yes! He should really reconsider his color scheme though. Up to the Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe! First time! Slider Jump...Yes! Wow...it was like he was just walking up to some steps. Lots of time! He should make it. Will we get double digit clears for the first time since the renewal? Yes! Clear! Yagyu-Gaiden!
93. The chickens are revolting! Wait..it's just Shingo Yamamoto! He's failed the 1st Stage five times in a row. Steps. But CMs first.
Back.
Steps. Curtain Slider. Log Grip...oops..the announcer mentions "careless miss." Don't jinx it! Everything else is good. Yes! Half-Pipe Attack was no problem. Soritatsu Kabe. YES! On the second try. Can he do it? Slider Jump. YES! He goes over. Lots of time. Can he do it? C'mon! There goes the hat! Tarzan rope. GO GO GO GO GO! Yes! YES! YES! Yatta!!!!
And that's ten!
Hey! Staff boy! Get Shingo his towel! He's happy!
The pressure is on Yuuji!!!
Shingo gets hugs!
94. Lee Yen Chi! リー・エンチ Steps. Curtain Slider...WHOA! He didn't get a running start. Log Grip. Still has lots of time. But he can't take his time. Jumping Spider. He flies through. He knows the clock is going. Half-Pipe Attack. Soritatsu Kabe. No! Yes! Second try. Slider Jump coming up. YES! He can't take his time though. He should have gone under. Hurry! Hurry! Tarzan Rope! Hurry! Hurry! Time is red! YES!!!
That's eleven!
95. And now it's the man TBS would like to be White SASUKE Jesus, Levi Meeuwenberg リーヴァイ・ミューエンバーグ.
Steps. Curtain Slider. OK. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider as he hot dogs over the platform. Half-Pipe Attack coming up. Soritatsu Kabe. YES! Slider Jump..Wait. CMs.
ELT in Yamaguchi!
Back.
Slider Jump. Yes! Lots of time as the crowd starts a chant as he does a flip. Tarzan Rope. Yes! And that's three! And he does another flip.
Nagano and Takeda are like..OK.
96. That body! It's Hitoshi Kanno! 菅野仁志! Steps. Curtain Slider. UH OH...Whew. Log Grip. He still has lots of time. Yes! Did he hurt himself? Jumping Spider. Yes! Spider Walk. Half-Pipe Attack. WHOA! NO! He had to take a while to get to the platform! First time up the Soritatsu Kabe. Slider Jump. He goes under..watch out! He should have enough time...about 30 seconds left. Don't rush man...just do it. YES!
Shingo is all smiles (because he already passed) but Toshihiro Takeda is FOCUSED!
There's the slap (which made Takeda cringe)!
97. Toshihiro Takeda! 竹田敏浩! Here he goes. BUT NOW THE NEWS.
Back.
Steps. Curtain Slider. Yes! Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider. Last time..Jumping SPIDEEEEEEEEEEEEER. Yes. Half-Pipe Attack. Soritatsu-Kabe. Slider Jump. He goes over. Yikes. Kind of just dives into the net. Tarzan Rope. Lots of time! Here he goes! He's all smiles now!
Only three left.
98. Hiromichi Sato! 佐藤弘道! He finally lived up to his hyp...er..promise last time. But we need to get those ads in people!
Back.
Steps. Curtain Slider coming up. Log Grip. OK. Jumping Spider. WHOA! Abunakkata! NO! He didn't have the Spider Walk. Doushita! His family was disappointed.
Speaking of shoes...
99. Yuuji Urushihara! 漆原裕治 He's feeling the pressure. Makoto tells him to try being number 100. You tell him! Let's go!
Steps. Curtain Slider. Man, these runs are like a commercial for Descente sportswear. Jumping Spider. No problem. Half-Pipe Attack. WHOA! Same thing as Kanno but he's through! Soritatsu Kabe! YES! On the second time. Slider Jump...He goes over. If he can get through this he'll have a spot on SASUKE forever I think. Tarzan Rope. He's slow but he'll still make it...Thumbs up! YES!
Hey! The New Stars get all 100% through! Although when there are only two people that's a bit easier.
100. Cue the Last Battle! It's the KING OF SASUKE. Makoto Nagano. 長野誠! Here he goes! Steps. But first, a word from our sponsors.
Awww yeah...the Jinro commercial.
Back!
Steps. Curtain Slider. Log Grip coming up. Wow...the pace feels faster for some reason. Log Grip is no problem. Jumping Spider. Yes! He FLIES through. Half-Pipe Attack. Whoa! YES! Soritatsu Kabe. No! He must have slipped...Slider Jump...Douda...NO!!! Hold on...something happened. Malfunction!
IIIIIIIInteresting. So there was a malfunction during the Slider Jump so he has to do it again. And Takeda and Yamamoto's reaction was to LAUGH. LAUGH AT MAKOTO NAGANO.
Here we go again! He has a new shirt! Steps. Curtain Slider. yes! Log Grip. Jumping Spider. And again he flies through. Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. YES! On the second try. Slider Jump. There were problems before...YES! He goes over. Tarzan Rope. Lots of time as the crowd chants his name. Yes! YES!
16 through! King of SASUKE. Wait...the announcer just called him Mr. SASUKE. AHAHAHA!
2nd Stage
Let's look at what's there. New obstacle! The Swing Ladder is gone, replaced by the Unstable Bridge.
42. Richard King is up first! At least he has shorts now. Downhill Jump is OK. Salmon Ladder. YES! Stick Slider. Unstable Bridge coming up. NO! Wow that looked hard.
45. Naoya Tajima! Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder. Some problems. He can't get it balanced on the rungs...NO!
47. Koji Hashimoto. Downhill Jump...WHA? What happened? GAH! He couldn't hold on.
49. Satoshi Nakamura...is out! He used his feet.
50. Jun Sato..NO!
53. Yoshiki Itou too!
Damn. The Salmon Ladder is still the killer.
73. Brian Orosco! Can he do it? A little bit of trouble at the beginning but now he's got it. YES! He's through! Unstable Bridge. Not much time. He has to hurry! GO BRIAN! GO! NO! Damn that thing looks hard.
The eliminations are going fast and furious now.
84. Kenji Takahashi! The Salmon Ladder poses no problem for him. Unstable Bridge. YES! He did it! CMs first though.
He's the first to get past the new obstacle!
Metal Spin is no problem! And neither are the Walls! That's it! Kongo and his shaved head are into the 3rd Stage!
That's one.
92. Yoshiyuki Okuyama! Here he goes. Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder. Yes! He's through! Unstable Bridge. I think he's unsure how to do it. He needs to hurry...YES! Can he do it? Hurry! Metal Spin. Hurry! ONE! TWO! THREE! YES! WITH 2 seconds to spare!
Shingo really wants to go to the 3rd Stage!
Let's see him and his unshaved pits.
93. Shingo Yamamoto! Downhill Jump...he's never tried the Salmon Ladder before, has he? Here he goes. YES! Unstable Bridge coming up. Wow...he looked he was really going to go for that. YES! Metal Spin! He doesn't have much time!
Commercials.
Geez. I would worry about splinters and ruining my hands doing the Unstable Bridge.
Hurry! There goes the hat! HURRY! HURRY! HURRY! YES! And he lies there in exhaustion.
94. Lee En Chi! Salmon Ladder! Unstable Bridge...Metal Spin. NO! Dammit.
95. Levi Meeuwenberg! Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder coming up. He stopped here before. No problem! Unstable Bridge coming up. No problems! Metal Spin coming up but some commercials first.
Back.
Metal Spin is no problem! Walls. One. Two. Three. And that's three through.
96. Hitoshi Kanno! Can the new star do it again? Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder. WHOA! NO WAIT! He's still on track but he has to hurry. Unstable Bridge. Just made it. Hurry man. Hurry. Go! GO! GO! Metal Spin. YES! Walls. No problems! YES! I think he lifted it that high just to show that he could!
That's four!
97. Toshihiro Takeda! But let's look at cars and stuff first.
Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder! Yes! Unstable Bridge. Yes! Wait... YES! Metal Spin. Walls should be no problem. HAHAHA. Show-off.
That's five.
99. Yuuji Urushihar. Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder. Unstable Bridge coming up. WHOA! YES! He's though. NO! WHAT? NO! He lost his balance at the end and couldn't get back to the board. Damn.
Damn damn damn.
100. Makoto Nagano! Downhill Jump! He's the last man. Can he do it? Salmon Ladder. Yes! Unstable Bridge but let's watch something else for a few minutes, shall we?
Back.
Salmon Ladder again. Unstable Bridge. OK! Metal Spin. WHOA. OK! Yes! And he takes a leisurely lift of the walls! Those obstacles pose no obstacle!
3rd Stage.
And of course we see the Shin-Cliff Hanger. The Jumping Bars. The Hang Climbing. The Spider Flip. And then the Gliding Ring.
3rd Stage
84. Kenji Takahashi is up first. Arm Rings and Downward Lamp Grasper are no problem. Devil Steps. No problem either! Shin-Cliff Hanger. Can he do it? Here he goes...WHOA! He didn't even try to jump it. He just reached over. Wow...everyone else is just like..WTF? Levi sums it up by saying "That was different."
He just crossed his arms over and then reached out. It was ...weird.
Jumping Bars. Hang Climbing up next. Wow. No problems. Spider Grip into the Spider Flip. He's getting ready for the Spider Flip. That's kind of a long way to fall. Here he goes...He can see the Final Stage. YES! Yikes...he looked scared.
Gliding Ring...Here we go...His mom is there! You can't disappoint mom! Here we go..NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He was on then he was off.
Dear Kongo, You are out of the will. Love, Mom.
Oh hey. I guess the Gliding Ring wasn't that easy.
92. Yoshiyuki Okuyama is up next! Arm Rings are no problem. Downward Lamp Grasper. OK! Devil Steps coming up next. Would he be the oldest finalist? His wife and kids are there but hey, he already disappointed them last time. Shin-Cliff Hanger. YES! WOW! He did it! WOW!
Jumping Bars. OK! Hang Climbing! OK..wait. OK! Spider Grip. Spider Flip...HERE HE GOES. NO!!!!!!!!!
Hey, that wasn't that easy either.
Damn.
93. The chickens are back! It's Shingo Yamamoto! It's been three years since he made it to the 3rd Stage. Oy vey! What the heck happened? He had problems on the Arm Rings. He couldn't hold on and had to drop into the water.
95. Levi Meeuwenberg is up next. Arm Rings. Downward Lamp Grasper. Devil Steps. Some editing here. Shin-Cliff Hanger coming up. Here he goes! At the slant. NO! And that was it for the United States of America.
And then he does a corkscrew into the water.
96. Hitoshi Kanno! Here we go! He is the last hope of the new stars (all two of them). Arm Rings. Downward Lamp Grasper. OK! Take your time man. Devil Steps. Going to take a breather here. Shin-Cliff Hanger. At the slant...YES!! And CMs.
Jumping Bar, Hang Climbing into the Spider Grip then Spider Flip coming up. Jumping Bar is OK! Hang Climbing. He needs to redeem himself here. YES! At the Spider Flip and holding on for dear life.
Spider Flip. Getting ready. Seeing someone else fail it always plays in your mind. YES! HE DID IT! Going into the Gliding Ring. Now he's on the Green Bar of Safety!
Gliding Ring. He gets ready. Here he goes! Pushed back a bit. CMs.
Back. Getting ready. Swinging. YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!
That's two SASUKEs in a row a new person has made it to the final. Hugs for dad! Unlike Kongo, Hitoshi is IN the will.
97. Toshihiro Takeda! The pressure is on!
Arm Rings. Downward Lamp Grasper. OK! Devil Steps. At the turn. OK! No problem! Shin-Cliff Hanger coming up as he uses the spray that pays. Here he goes. At the slant. Swinging. YES! No problem-o. This is the tough area. Three parts with no rest in between. Jumping Bar. OK! Into the Hang Climbing. He stopped here before. He uses his feet (which is legal). Can he do it? He's shaking. OK! On to the Spider Grip. Shaky shaky. OK! C'mon! Get up then you can rest!
CMs.
KUNOICHI!
Back.
He's UP! At the Spider Flip. Don't rush. Here he goes. NOOOOOOO! He probably shouldn't have stuck his foot out like that.
Damn. Makoto Nagano is alone again..until Hitoshi Kanno goes up to wish him luck.
100. And now..the KING OF SASUKE. MR. SASUKE! No, not that one. It's Makoto Nagano!
Arm Rings are absolutely no problem. Neither is the Downward Lamp Grasper. Devil Steps. Shin-Cliff Hanger. He has failed and passed this. Here he goes. He doesn't have Kongo arms so he has to do the jump.
Yes!
Jumping Bars coming up. One. Two. Three. Four. Going into the Hang Climbing now. No problem! Straight into the Spider Flip. Easy as pie! No wasted motion. No struggling. Getting ready. Yes!
On to the Green Bar of Safety!
Getting ready.
Here he goes. Swinging. YES! YES! YES! YES! That's two!
And now he's all smiles. The crowd is all cheers! As is the wife and his boss who is thinking *Ka-ching! Ka-ching!*
Wow. And it comes down to the All-Stars versus the New Stars.
CMs.
As the kids would say..this is epic.
Final Stage
And then there were two.
The All-Star versus the New Star. The Veteran vs the Kid. The...OK, I'll stop now.
Let's look at the past history of the Final Stage. Akiyama. Nagano. Yuuji was the first man to break the new era Final Stage code.
Shingo's shirt says Surrender the Booty! Awesome.
Unlike before, there is a male reporter at the top. Will it make a difference in our competitor's motivation?
Cue the overly dramatic music!
96. Hitoshi Kanno is first!
Here we go! Forty seconds to the top! But of course we get commercials.
Back.
Here we go! (Again). Heavenly Ladder. The ladder is 13 meters. He's on to the rope. Go man GO! Oy...the time is already going read...Yikes. He barely got up there.
Damn. That sucked.
They let him hang there for a moment to let the shame of failing until bringing him up for the interview.
Of course that leaves more pressure on Nagano.
There's the slap.
He's wearing an EMS shirt. He will bring the All-Stars to the heavens with him!
Except Yamada that is.
100. Makoto Nagano! Here he goes! Climbing much faster than Kanno I think. On to the rope. Can he do it? He's moving fast! Here he goes! But before that...you know the drill.
Depending on how long this last commercial break may tell us if Nagano makes it or not.
Back.
Five minutes left in the show.
Back to the beginning. Do it for the child Makoto!
Heavenly Ladder.
On to the rope with twenty seconds.
Here he goes. Half way up.
Time is red. Almost. He looks so close...
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Damn. Darn. Well now.
16 through the 1st Stage. 7 passed the 2nd. 2 made it to the Final Stage. Not much more they can ask for, really.
Important show because of all the little cliques that we had to pay attention to. There were the ten Americans: 3 pass the 1st Stage, 1 passes the 2nd Stage. The six SASUKE Trial Qualifiers (STQers): 4 pass the 1st Stage, none pass the 2nd. The New Stars had just Yuuji and Kanno but they both get past the 1st Stage. Yuuji unfortunately doesn't make it past the 2nd but Kanno goes all the way to the Final. The All-Stars had three out of the four that were there go to the 3rd Stage and one to the Final. Plus repeat people like Okuyama and Lee both got past the 1st Stage.
It seems like G4's idea seemed to pay off although two of them had been there before. The Trials seemed to pay off in that the people that made it did a good job and most of them are quite young. The new stars showed they weren't a fluke. And constantly ripping the All-Star's IALAC into pieces seemed to motivate them.
Overall, a great show! Exciting and definitely interesting. Should do well in the ratings and ensure at least another year.
And don't forget...
Power! Speed! Balance! Only those with all three of these qualities can become the next American Idol!
That's not right either, I think.
So You Think You Can Beat SASUKE? America's Best Ninja Warriors!
I think I'm getting my wires crossed.
Since 1997...
2200 have tried! Only two have ever completed! That's 0.09 percent! Gosh, it's hard!
Don't forget that the 23rd Annual Ube International Sculpture Competition is soon! 第２３回 ＵＢＥビエンナーレ'０９ 現代日本彫刻展
Here we go!
Last time! All of the All-Stars failed! オールスターズ 全滅!
It's SASUKE 2009秋!
Nagano! Shingo! (with his personalize SASUKE towel) Yamada! Takeda!
Yuuji Urushihara!
Many comedians! And entertainers! And athletes!
The Final Stage! There are people! With their arms crossed! Now their fists are in the air! SASUKE~!
1st Stage
Let's go! It's a 130 meters long.
1. Satomi Kohei 里見恒平 is first! Jyunidantobi! 十二段跳び Curtain Slider! カーテンスライダー! Log Grip! Yes! Good showing so far! Jumping Spider...YES! GO! GO! He played in NFL Europe. Spider Walk OK. Half-Pipe Attack coming up. NO!
5. Katsuhide Torisawa! 鳥澤克秀! He ripped off his clothes! Jyunidantobi! Slowly...ye...WAIT! NO!
Emi Sekisui. 関水えみ. She's a girl. She has dogs. NO! She kind of just tried to run all over the place.
10. Hosshan! ほっしゃん Here he goes. Jyunidantobi. 十二段跳び! O! Ouch. Did he hit his face?
12. Spinboy Aichi! Or Aichi Oono. 大野愛地 He's in the Muscle Musical. Whoa! Almost didn't make it. Curtain Slider. Yes! Log Grip. NO! He couldn't hold on.
Eiko Kano wants to quit already.
17. Eiko Kano 狩野英孝 is next! Will his suit get wet? Of course. He went like three steps or so.
19. NOBU! He's also in the Muscle Musical. He's a double dutch specialist. Steps. OK. Everyone is taking it slow there. Curtain Slider is OK. Log Grip coming up. Checking. YES! Jumping Spider is a NO!
Sayaka Nakamura 中村明花 is next! She's a reporter on 王様のブランチ. Can she..NO! Right in the middle area.
Fukutarao Umemoto 梅本福太郎 (number 6) no. Log Grip. Yutti ゆってぃ (11) No on the steps. Atsushi Aoki 青木篤志 of Pro Wrestling NOAH..Steps..no. Nanami Tsukamoto 塚本奈々美 falls on the Curtain Slider. Talento Kurumi Kojima 小島くるみ falls on the steps too. Oonishi Lion. 大西リオン NO! (On the Curtain Slider).
20. Junichi Miyashita. 宮下 純一 WHOA! Good thing he has long legs. Curtain Slider is OK. Log Grip. NO! He was off from the very beginning.
Rie Komiya 小宮理英 is next! She made it to the final of KUNOICHI before. What will she do here? 120 seconds by the way. Steps. NO problem! Curtain Slider. Log Grip. Taking a while. Yes! She failed here before. Jumping Spider. Yes! Spider Walk coming up. Slowly. Slowly. Taking a while. Half-Pipe Attack...NO! Almost!
22. Tetsuro Degawa 出川哲朗 is next. And the shirt is off. Yeah yeah. Two steps and done!
Shot of the second stage for some reason.
38. Aoki Creepy Sculpture Guy. 青木保夫 No!
40. Masami Harashima 原島雅美...NO!
Minoru Kuramochi! 倉持稔 Here he g....wait. There we go.
Beauty Kokubu ビューティーこくぶ (28, steps), Yasumasa Koniwa 小庭康正 (29, Log Grip) and Hori ホリ (30, Curtain Slider) don't make it. They are all monomane specialists.
Momoko Tani 谷桃子 can't get past the steps.
Muscle Musical member Tomomi Arimatsu 有松知美 also fails the Half-Pipe Attack.
31. Takuya Kawahara 川原拓也sweats for a living or is in the Muscle Musical. Take your pick. Steps. Curtain Slider is no problem. Can he do it? Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider...Yes! Quite high too. Spider Walk is...squeaky. Half-Pipe Attack...Ye..YES! Soritatsu Kabe. Getting set. ONE TIME! Slider Jump...he's the first. He failed here last time! YES! He goes over. He has to hurry. GO GO GO! Tarzan Rope...The time is going red...jikan ga nai! Jikan ga nai! Nakatta!!!!!!!
Ninja Warrior! There were ten of them. I guess this is the first.
Ryk Maverick! Or umm...Ryk Felger? I have no idea how to turn リック・フェルガ. He designs jewelry. Yes! He was number 10 by the way. Curtain Slider is no problem. Close to the Edit! He got tied up on the Slider Jump!
Number 9, Jupe Katana ジュープ・カタナ times out on the net portion of the Slider Jump.
Number 8, Shane Daniels シェーン・ダニエルズ got to the Tarzan Rope too late.
Number 7, Jeff Iida ジェフ・イイダ timed out on the Soritatsu Kabe.
Caine Sinclair ケイン・シンクレア....Can he do it? So close..NO! He was six.
The top five are next!
42. Richard King! リチャード・キング He's a Free Runner. And a stuntman. He was 5th. Up to the Log Grip. Sure looks like he's participating in his underwear. Jumping Spider! No problem. Smooth run so far. Half-Pipe Attack. Wait..YES! Richard...KINGU! Soritatsu Kabe is on the first try. Potential! Slider Jump...Whoa...lots and lots of time. Here he goes...
CMs.
Back! Let's see his Slider Jump again. Lots of time. Underwear man. Underwear. Here he goes. Lots of time. Tarzan Rope. Up...can he do it! YES! THAT'S IT! Cue Yagyu-Gaiden! We've got one!
He's tired but happy!
SASUKE Trials! Gosh they look so damn young. Six made it.
45. Naoya Tajima! Steps. Curtain Slider. Log Grip coming up. Taking his time. Yes! Jumping Spider. Yes! A little awkward but he's through the Walk. Half-Pipe Attack. YES! Soritatsu Kabe. First time no. YES! Second time is the charm. Slider Jump...Yes! He goes under. Lots of time. Tarzan Rope. Rope Ladder. Can he be number two? YES! YES!
That's two!
47. Koji Hashimoto! 橋本亘司 YES! Edit but YES!
49. Satoshi Nakamura! 中村哲 YES!
50. Jun Sato! 佐藤惇 YES!
Jeez. Don't give them their day in the sun TBS.
51. Takayuki Kinoshita 木下隆行 of TKO! Here he goes. YES! He actually passed the steps. Curtain Slider...UH OH. Huh..OK. Didn't think that could happen.
56. Takashi Fukunishi! 福西崇史 He played soccer. Steps. Curtain Slider. He certainly looks...happy to be there. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider. Yes! Spider Walk...
CMs.
Back.
Spider Walk is iffy...He's losing his grip...He needs to get higher...NO! Aw. Monkiki sighting!
Man, I want one of those towels.
53. Yoshiki Itou! 伊藤圭槻 He was the Miyazaki Sportsman No. 1 winner which is why he gets spray from Nagano. Steps. Curtain Slider. Log Grip. Jumping Spider. Spider Walk. Half-Pipe Attack! All yes! Soritatsu Kabe! First time! Slider Jump. Needs to shave his pits. Yes! He goes over. Stuck in the net. Still has time though. Tarzan Rope. Here he goes! Can he do it? Time is going red...YES!
Wow! That's six! And he gets a hug from Nagano! What a lucky guy.
61. Takeshi Nadagi なだぎ武 is next! Steps! NO! Ouch.
Ayumu Katou 加藤歩 fails the Log Grip. The members of License ライセンス are done early. Takafumi Imoto 井本貴史 on the Curtain Slider and Kazuhiro Fujiwara 藤原一裕 on the Steps. As is Gari Nakajima ガリ中島 of Tengen テンゲン on the Log Grip. One Savanna member Shigeo Takahashi 高橋茂雄 goes down on the Steps.
70. Masumi Yagi 八木真澄 of Savanna! Steps! Curtain Slider. OK! Log Grip. Gosh he's tall. Yes! Jumping Spider! NO! He was up then down.
71. Hey hey hey. Katsumi Yamada! Cue the crying clip! It's been nine SASUKEs since he passed the 1st Stage. And it's time for Genya, an intro that's just too cool for him. Can he finally do it? Can he finally break the curse? Steps. OK. Curtain Slider. Whoa....Log Grip. OK. Jumping Spider. Spider Walk as we go to commercial.
It's hard to work up any passion about this guy anymore.
Only 122000 yen to go to Angkor Wat!
Is the legend over?
Back!
Half-Pipe Attack...Yes! I mean..OK! Soritatsu Kabe. Taking his time. First time..no. Second try. Wait. Try again. NO! Gee. Take your time Katsumi. Did he get hurt again. YES! With one arm. Slider Jump...He looks pained. NO!
TEN!
Ah. Looks like he hurt his ankle on the first Soritatsu Kabe attempt.
73. Brian Orosco! ブライアン・オロスコ! Steps. Curtain Slider. Log Grip coming up. He was the American number 2. Jumping Spider. YES! He looks serious as he FLIES through the Walk. Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! He's blitzing the course. Soritatsu Kabe first try! Slider Jump. Still lots of time! Here he goes. The final stretch. Tarzan Rope. Slowly. Here he goes. Should make it no problem! YES! That's two from America.
74. Genki Sudo! HE'S DOING THE ROBOT FOR YOUR PLEASURE! Here he goes. Style kankenai! NO! He would have coursed out anyway.
75. Shinsengumi Rien's Tetsuji Sakakibara 榊原徹士. Shut up Shimada. Steps. Curtain Slider. Log Grip coming up. Dammit, I hate Shinsuke Shimada. Yes! Jumping Spider coming up. NO! He didn't get his feet up in time.
76. Shinsengumi's Hiroya Kunisada 國定拓弥 as we go to commercial...
Back.
Kunisada gets through the Steps and Curtain..ONLY TO FAIL AT THE LOG GRIP. Oh well. Sell them CDs boys!
79. Jordan Jovtchev! He's small. Steps. Curtain Slider. Leznig looks on! Log Grip. Jumping Spider. Yes! Man, he's tiny. Slowly...Half-Pipe Attack coming up. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. First try! Wow. Slider Jump. He looks worried. YES! WHOA! He dropped down but caught the net! Yes! Does he have enough time? Here he goes. Ten seconds...HURRY! NO! NO! Hard to say what cost him the time. So close.
80. Monkiki! Akira Omori! 大森晃 AKA Monkiki (or Monkickey) モンキッキー He hasn't been to SASUKE in 8 years! Wow. That's a long time. Here he goes. Steps. Uh OH. YES! Curtain Slider. Log Grip. He knows he has to make up the time. Jumping Spider. YE..NO! Ah. His right foot didn't get it. Darn.
Taiji ishimori 石森太二 fails the Jumping Spider. And pro triathlon guy Ryoichi Yamamoto 山本涼一 doesn't take to the Curtain Slider too well. Handballer Tetsuya Kadoyama 門山哲也 muffs the Jumping Spider, Tomoki Kitagawa 北川智規 (81) misses the net on the Slider Jump. Kairi Kouchi 高智海吏 times up on the Rope Ladder.
84. Kenji Takahashi! 高橋賢次! Poor guy always falls to the knife. I know he's not that pretty but still...anyway...He gets to the Tarzan Rope with lots of time. Here he goes! Should make it with no problem! YES! That's...um...EIGHT! That's eight!
89. Wakky ワッキー is up next! Gee...the last Geinojin Sportsman was in 2007 so he still gets the title? He does some comedy with Oonishi Lion. He also gets the King Kull music that Miyazaki got. Here he goes. Steps. Curtain Slider. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider! Yes! He's up..can he do it? Spider Walk is OK. Half-Pipe Attack...Ye...WHOA! He fell but he was OK.
CMs.
Back.
Soritatsu Kabe...First time! No wait! He couldn't hold on. One more time! Slider Jump...He looks worried. NO! He didn't even reach the net.
91. Leszek Blanik レゼク・ブラニク! Steps. He won a gold medal, ya know. Curtain Slider. NO! Oops. He didn't quite make it to the platform.
We see the ones who are left.
92. Yoshiyuki Okuyama! 奥山義行! His kids are there. Steps. Curtain Slider. Log Grip. He's moving with purpose. Jumping Spider. Yes! He should really reconsider his color scheme though. Up to the Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe! First time! Slider Jump...Yes! Wow...it was like he was just walking up to some steps. Lots of time! He should make it. Will we get double digit clears for the first time since the renewal? Yes! Clear! Yagyu-Gaiden!
93. The chickens are revolting! Wait..it's just Shingo Yamamoto! He's failed the 1st Stage five times in a row. Steps. But CMs first.
Back.
Steps. Curtain Slider. Log Grip...oops..the announcer mentions "careless miss." Don't jinx it! Everything else is good. Yes! Half-Pipe Attack was no problem. Soritatsu Kabe. YES! On the second try. Can he do it? Slider Jump. YES! He goes over. Lots of time. Can he do it? C'mon! There goes the hat! Tarzan rope. GO GO GO GO GO! Yes! YES! YES! Yatta!!!!
And that's ten!
Hey! Staff boy! Get Shingo his towel! He's happy!
The pressure is on Yuuji!!!
Shingo gets hugs!
94. Lee Yen Chi! リー・エンチ Steps. Curtain Slider...WHOA! He didn't get a running start. Log Grip. Still has lots of time. But he can't take his time. Jumping Spider. He flies through. He knows the clock is going. Half-Pipe Attack. Soritatsu Kabe. No! Yes! Second try. Slider Jump coming up. YES! He can't take his time though. He should have gone under. Hurry! Hurry! Tarzan Rope! Hurry! Hurry! Time is red! YES!!!
That's eleven!
95. And now it's the man TBS would like to be White SASUKE Jesus, Levi Meeuwenberg リーヴァイ・ミューエンバーグ.
Steps. Curtain Slider. OK. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider as he hot dogs over the platform. Half-Pipe Attack coming up. Soritatsu Kabe. YES! Slider Jump..Wait. CMs.
ELT in Yamaguchi!
Back.
Slider Jump. Yes! Lots of time as the crowd starts a chant as he does a flip. Tarzan Rope. Yes! And that's three! And he does another flip.
Nagano and Takeda are like..OK.
96. That body! It's Hitoshi Kanno! 菅野仁志! Steps. Curtain Slider. UH OH...Whew. Log Grip. He still has lots of time. Yes! Did he hurt himself? Jumping Spider. Yes! Spider Walk. Half-Pipe Attack. WHOA! NO! He had to take a while to get to the platform! First time up the Soritatsu Kabe. Slider Jump. He goes under..watch out! He should have enough time...about 30 seconds left. Don't rush man...just do it. YES!
Shingo is all smiles (because he already passed) but Toshihiro Takeda is FOCUSED!
There's the slap (which made Takeda cringe)!
97. Toshihiro Takeda! 竹田敏浩! Here he goes. BUT NOW THE NEWS.
Back.
Steps. Curtain Slider. Yes! Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider. Last time..Jumping SPIDEEEEEEEEEEEEER. Yes. Half-Pipe Attack. Soritatsu-Kabe. Slider Jump. He goes over. Yikes. Kind of just dives into the net. Tarzan Rope. Lots of time! Here he goes! He's all smiles now!
Only three left.
98. Hiromichi Sato! 佐藤弘道! He finally lived up to his hyp...er..promise last time. But we need to get those ads in people!
Back.
Steps. Curtain Slider coming up. Log Grip. OK. Jumping Spider. WHOA! Abunakkata! NO! He didn't have the Spider Walk. Doushita! His family was disappointed.
Speaking of shoes...
99. Yuuji Urushihara! 漆原裕治 He's feeling the pressure. Makoto tells him to try being number 100. You tell him! Let's go!
Steps. Curtain Slider. Man, these runs are like a commercial for Descente sportswear. Jumping Spider. No problem. Half-Pipe Attack. WHOA! Same thing as Kanno but he's through! Soritatsu Kabe! YES! On the second time. Slider Jump...He goes over. If he can get through this he'll have a spot on SASUKE forever I think. Tarzan Rope. He's slow but he'll still make it...Thumbs up! YES!
Hey! The New Stars get all 100% through! Although when there are only two people that's a bit easier.
100. Cue the Last Battle! It's the KING OF SASUKE. Makoto Nagano. 長野誠! Here he goes! Steps. But first, a word from our sponsors.
Awww yeah...the Jinro commercial.
Back!
Steps. Curtain Slider. Log Grip coming up. Wow...the pace feels faster for some reason. Log Grip is no problem. Jumping Spider. Yes! He FLIES through. Half-Pipe Attack. Whoa! YES! Soritatsu Kabe. No! He must have slipped...Slider Jump...Douda...NO!!! Hold on...something happened. Malfunction!
IIIIIIIInteresting. So there was a malfunction during the Slider Jump so he has to do it again. And Takeda and Yamamoto's reaction was to LAUGH. LAUGH AT MAKOTO NAGANO.
Here we go again! He has a new shirt! Steps. Curtain Slider. yes! Log Grip. Jumping Spider. And again he flies through. Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. YES! On the second try. Slider Jump. There were problems before...YES! He goes over. Tarzan Rope. Lots of time as the crowd chants his name. Yes! YES!
16 through! King of SASUKE. Wait...the announcer just called him Mr. SASUKE. AHAHAHA!
2nd Stage
Let's look at what's there. New obstacle! The Swing Ladder is gone, replaced by the Unstable Bridge.
42. Richard King is up first! At least he has shorts now. Downhill Jump is OK. Salmon Ladder. YES! Stick Slider. Unstable Bridge coming up. NO! Wow that looked hard.
45. Naoya Tajima! Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder. Some problems. He can't get it balanced on the rungs...NO!
47. Koji Hashimoto. Downhill Jump...WHA? What happened? GAH! He couldn't hold on.
49. Satoshi Nakamura...is out! He used his feet.
50. Jun Sato..NO!
53. Yoshiki Itou too!
Damn. The Salmon Ladder is still the killer.
73. Brian Orosco! Can he do it? A little bit of trouble at the beginning but now he's got it. YES! He's through! Unstable Bridge. Not much time. He has to hurry! GO BRIAN! GO! NO! Damn that thing looks hard.
The eliminations are going fast and furious now.
84. Kenji Takahashi! The Salmon Ladder poses no problem for him. Unstable Bridge. YES! He did it! CMs first though.
He's the first to get past the new obstacle!
Metal Spin is no problem! And neither are the Walls! That's it! Kongo and his shaved head are into the 3rd Stage!
That's one.
92. Yoshiyuki Okuyama! Here he goes. Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder. Yes! He's through! Unstable Bridge. I think he's unsure how to do it. He needs to hurry...YES! Can he do it? Hurry! Metal Spin. Hurry! ONE! TWO! THREE! YES! WITH 2 seconds to spare!
Shingo really wants to go to the 3rd Stage!
Let's see him and his unshaved pits.
93. Shingo Yamamoto! Downhill Jump...he's never tried the Salmon Ladder before, has he? Here he goes. YES! Unstable Bridge coming up. Wow...he looked he was really going to go for that. YES! Metal Spin! He doesn't have much time!
Commercials.
Geez. I would worry about splinters and ruining my hands doing the Unstable Bridge.
Hurry! There goes the hat! HURRY! HURRY! HURRY! YES! And he lies there in exhaustion.
94. Lee En Chi! Salmon Ladder! Unstable Bridge...Metal Spin. NO! Dammit.
95. Levi Meeuwenberg! Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder coming up. He stopped here before. No problem! Unstable Bridge coming up. No problems! Metal Spin coming up but some commercials first.
Back.
Metal Spin is no problem! Walls. One. Two. Three. And that's three through.
96. Hitoshi Kanno! Can the new star do it again? Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder. WHOA! NO WAIT! He's still on track but he has to hurry. Unstable Bridge. Just made it. Hurry man. Hurry. Go! GO! GO! Metal Spin. YES! Walls. No problems! YES! I think he lifted it that high just to show that he could!
That's four!
97. Toshihiro Takeda! But let's look at cars and stuff first.
Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder! Yes! Unstable Bridge. Yes! Wait... YES! Metal Spin. Walls should be no problem. HAHAHA. Show-off.
That's five.
99. Yuuji Urushihar. Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder. Unstable Bridge coming up. WHOA! YES! He's though. NO! WHAT? NO! He lost his balance at the end and couldn't get back to the board. Damn.
Damn damn damn.
100. Makoto Nagano! Downhill Jump! He's the last man. Can he do it? Salmon Ladder. Yes! Unstable Bridge but let's watch something else for a few minutes, shall we?
Back.
Salmon Ladder again. Unstable Bridge. OK! Metal Spin. WHOA. OK! Yes! And he takes a leisurely lift of the walls! Those obstacles pose no obstacle!
3rd Stage.
And of course we see the Shin-Cliff Hanger. The Jumping Bars. The Hang Climbing. The Spider Flip. And then the Gliding Ring.
3rd Stage
84. Kenji Takahashi is up first. Arm Rings and Downward Lamp Grasper are no problem. Devil Steps. No problem either! Shin-Cliff Hanger. Can he do it? Here he goes...WHOA! He didn't even try to jump it. He just reached over. Wow...everyone else is just like..WTF? Levi sums it up by saying "That was different."
He just crossed his arms over and then reached out. It was ...weird.
Jumping Bars. Hang Climbing up next. Wow. No problems. Spider Grip into the Spider Flip. He's getting ready for the Spider Flip. That's kind of a long way to fall. Here he goes...He can see the Final Stage. YES! Yikes...he looked scared.
Gliding Ring...Here we go...His mom is there! You can't disappoint mom! Here we go..NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He was on then he was off.
Dear Kongo, You are out of the will. Love, Mom.
Oh hey. I guess the Gliding Ring wasn't that easy.
92. Yoshiyuki Okuyama is up next! Arm Rings are no problem. Downward Lamp Grasper. OK! Devil Steps coming up next. Would he be the oldest finalist? His wife and kids are there but hey, he already disappointed them last time. Shin-Cliff Hanger. YES! WOW! He did it! WOW!
Jumping Bars. OK! Hang Climbing! OK..wait. OK! Spider Grip. Spider Flip...HERE HE GOES. NO!!!!!!!!!
Hey, that wasn't that easy either.
Damn.
93. The chickens are back! It's Shingo Yamamoto! It's been three years since he made it to the 3rd Stage. Oy vey! What the heck happened? He had problems on the Arm Rings. He couldn't hold on and had to drop into the water.
95. Levi Meeuwenberg is up next. Arm Rings. Downward Lamp Grasper. Devil Steps. Some editing here. Shin-Cliff Hanger coming up. Here he goes! At the slant. NO! And that was it for the United States of America.
And then he does a corkscrew into the water.
96. Hitoshi Kanno! Here we go! He is the last hope of the new stars (all two of them). Arm Rings. Downward Lamp Grasper. OK! Take your time man. Devil Steps. Going to take a breather here. Shin-Cliff Hanger. At the slant...YES!! And CMs.
Jumping Bar, Hang Climbing into the Spider Grip then Spider Flip coming up. Jumping Bar is OK! Hang Climbing. He needs to redeem himself here. YES! At the Spider Flip and holding on for dear life.
Spider Flip. Getting ready. Seeing someone else fail it always plays in your mind. YES! HE DID IT! Going into the Gliding Ring. Now he's on the Green Bar of Safety!
Gliding Ring. He gets ready. Here he goes! Pushed back a bit. CMs.
Back. Getting ready. Swinging. YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!
That's two SASUKEs in a row a new person has made it to the final. Hugs for dad! Unlike Kongo, Hitoshi is IN the will.
97. Toshihiro Takeda! The pressure is on!
Arm Rings. Downward Lamp Grasper. OK! Devil Steps. At the turn. OK! No problem! Shin-Cliff Hanger coming up as he uses the spray that pays. Here he goes. At the slant. Swinging. YES! No problem-o. This is the tough area. Three parts with no rest in between. Jumping Bar. OK! Into the Hang Climbing. He stopped here before. He uses his feet (which is legal). Can he do it? He's shaking. OK! On to the Spider Grip. Shaky shaky. OK! C'mon! Get up then you can rest!
CMs.
KUNOICHI!
Back.
He's UP! At the Spider Flip. Don't rush. Here he goes. NOOOOOOO! He probably shouldn't have stuck his foot out like that.
Damn. Makoto Nagano is alone again..until Hitoshi Kanno goes up to wish him luck.
100. And now..the KING OF SASUKE. MR. SASUKE! No, not that one. It's Makoto Nagano!
Arm Rings are absolutely no problem. Neither is the Downward Lamp Grasper. Devil Steps. Shin-Cliff Hanger. He has failed and passed this. Here he goes. He doesn't have Kongo arms so he has to do the jump.
Yes!
Jumping Bars coming up. One. Two. Three. Four. Going into the Hang Climbing now. No problem! Straight into the Spider Flip. Easy as pie! No wasted motion. No struggling. Getting ready. Yes!
On to the Green Bar of Safety!
Getting ready.
Here he goes. Swinging. YES! YES! YES! YES! That's two!
And now he's all smiles. The crowd is all cheers! As is the wife and his boss who is thinking *Ka-ching! Ka-ching!*
Wow. And it comes down to the All-Stars versus the New Stars.
CMs.
As the kids would say..this is epic.
Final Stage
And then there were two.
The All-Star versus the New Star. The Veteran vs the Kid. The...OK, I'll stop now.
Let's look at the past history of the Final Stage. Akiyama. Nagano. Yuuji was the first man to break the new era Final Stage code.
Shingo's shirt says Surrender the Booty! Awesome.
Unlike before, there is a male reporter at the top. Will it make a difference in our competitor's motivation?
Cue the overly dramatic music!
96. Hitoshi Kanno is first!
Here we go! Forty seconds to the top! But of course we get commercials.
Back.
Here we go! (Again). Heavenly Ladder. The ladder is 13 meters. He's on to the rope. Go man GO! Oy...the time is already going read...Yikes. He barely got up there.
Damn. That sucked.
They let him hang there for a moment to let the shame of failing until bringing him up for the interview.
Of course that leaves more pressure on Nagano.
There's the slap.
He's wearing an EMS shirt. He will bring the All-Stars to the heavens with him!
Except Yamada that is.
100. Makoto Nagano! Here he goes! Climbing much faster than Kanno I think. On to the rope. Can he do it? He's moving fast! Here he goes! But before that...you know the drill.
Depending on how long this last commercial break may tell us if Nagano makes it or not.
Back.
Five minutes left in the show.
Back to the beginning. Do it for the child Makoto!
Heavenly Ladder.
On to the rope with twenty seconds.
Here he goes. Half way up.
Time is red. Almost. He looks so close...
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Damn. Darn. Well now.
16 through the 1st Stage. 7 passed the 2nd. 2 made it to the Final Stage. Not much more they can ask for, really.
Important show because of all the little cliques that we had to pay attention to. There were the ten Americans: 3 pass the 1st Stage, 1 passes the 2nd Stage. The six SASUKE Trial Qualifiers (STQers): 4 pass the 1st Stage, none pass the 2nd. The New Stars had just Yuuji and Kanno but they both get past the 1st Stage. Yuuji unfortunately doesn't make it past the 2nd but Kanno goes all the way to the Final. The All-Stars had three out of the four that were there go to the 3rd Stage and one to the Final. Plus repeat people like Okuyama and Lee both got past the 1st Stage.
It seems like G4's idea seemed to pay off although two of them had been there before. The Trials seemed to pay off in that the people that made it did a good job and most of them are quite young. The new stars showed they weren't a fluke. And constantly ripping the All-Star's IALAC into pieces seemed to motivate them.
Overall, a great show! Exciting and definitely interesting. Should do well in the ratings and ensure at least another year.
And don't forget...
Monday, March 30, 2009
SASUKE 22 2009 Spring The Sort of Live Blog! SASUKE 2009春! SASUKE 22回!
Sex! Drugs! Rock and Roll! That's what a person needs to..wait, that's not right.
Truth! Justice! No no.
Say your prayers! Take your vitamins! No. That's not it either. Let me check my notes. Here we go.
Power! Speed! Balance! These are the qualities you need to beat SASUKE!
Fisherman! Firefighters! Freerunners! Swimmers! Wrestlers! Shoe salesmen! Do any of them have it in them to beat SASUKE? Let's find out!
SASUKE!
DO NOT LINK TO THIS IN THE G4 FORUMS.
There is everyone! In front of the Final Stage! Pump those fists! Survival Attack SASUKE!
1st Stage!
Chanting!
1. Shoji Tomoharu! 庄司智春! Steps! Yes! Circle Hammer (it's new!). Yes....no..Yes...OK. He's just kind of floating there. And he's been there a while. Yes! OK. Log Grip coming up. He practiced this with Wakky. NO!
2. Crazy Jietai guy! Is hiding! Steps are OK. Circle Hammer. Not quite. YES! You have to take your time. Log Grip. YES! Jumping Spider coming up. Here he goes! NO! He didn't have the timing.
3. Bobby Ologun! ボビー・オロゴン! His brother did the course before. Steps. OK. Bobby is a big guy. Circle Hammer. Yeeees! Log Grip. NO! He fell the same place as Shoji.
7. Pak Bo Kyung (maybe...not sure about that spelling there)! パク・ボキュン! He's Korean. Steps! NO! Abunai! He had to put his hand up and couldn't get it. Oh well. Sell them CDs!
Yamamoto says "Oh my god."
14. Monomane specialist Yamamoto Takahiro 山本高広 does his Kane Kosugi impersonation! Can he channel the spirit of Kane to do it? He does a Kane yell. Steps. Hai hai hai...NO! He points to his gold number as fact that he is a champion already.
Muscle Musical member Inada Ayako 稲田亜矢子 has no number. Steps. YES! Circle Hammer. Spins around. Yes! Log Grip. Can she do it? Here she goes. NO! Almost there!!!
11. We've gone back in time to see monomane specialist Hori ホリ do his Takuya Kimura. Steps. OK. Circle Hammer. Yes! Log Grip...NO! And then he does his Kinpachi sensei.
Someone, a waiter, Mohammed Yone モハメド ヨネ, a taiko drummer and doctor all meet their watery dooms.
Dramatic music!
14. Kawahara Takuya! 川原拓也! Here he goes. Steps. Circle Hammer coming up. Yes! NO! YES! He almost leaned back too far. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider...YES! Ikeru! Spider Walk. through! Half-Pipe Attack. Tobu! Yes! Soritatsu Kabe! First try! Here he goes. Slider Jump (it's new!). NO! He couldn't reach the net! He kind of lost control at the end. I think you have to let momentum carry you.
Nagano looks on in fear!
Kawahara is the first to the try the Slider Jump.
Nagano: "Kowai desu!"
Comedian Kojima Yoshio! 小島よしお! Here he goes! Steps. 120 seconds by the way.
And our first commercial break!
Red Cliff Part Two! Go see it!
Back!
Kojima. Steps. Yes! Circle Hammer. NO! Yes..wait. Yes! Log Grip. Can he do it? He's taking a long time. NO! He had it then he didn't. Darn. And then he gets the comedy bump of getting hit in the head by the log. Oh pa pi!
Chiro チロ is too small for the Steps.
18. Zabungle's Kato Ayumu! 加藤歩! The announcer will say kuyashii if he fails. Here he goes. Steps. WHOA! OK. Circle Hammer. They're getting all the comedians out of the way I see. YES! Log Grip. Here he goes. YES! Is he blown up already? Jumping Spider. Taking his time. UP! YES! Here he goes. Can he get through the Spider Walk. Not much time left. He goes through slowly. Stamina is not his strong point. Half-Pipe Attack. And....NO! He couldn't get the momentum. Kuyashii desu! He used to play handball. But he is NOT a man of hands on balls!
Our first All-Star sighting!
Akiyama Kazuhiko! Last time he failed the Half-Pipe Attack. Can he do it?
Akiyama has crabs!
20. Akiyama Kazuhiko! 秋山和彦! Steps are OK! Circle Hammer. Whoa...OK..wait. OK! Log Grip. Sets. No problem-o! Jumping Spider...YES! NO problem! Hayai through the Spider Walk. Half-Pipe Attack. NO! He slipped on the run up!
The slo-mo shows that he slipped coming off the platform. Damn.
Yes, we can! Yes, we can!
It's Obam...er..Nocchi of Dangerous! It's Dangerous and Dokidoki Camp's Kishi Manabu.
Kishi Manabu! 岸学! He does a Jack Bauer impersonation. Steps. Jack Bauuuuuuuer!
The other guy in Dangerous, Yasuda Kazuhiro 安田和博 fails the Circle Hammer.
Nocchi up next! ノッチ! Here he goes. Can he? Steps. Yes, we can! Circle Hammer. Yes..wait...no. Yes, we can! Log Grip coming. O-ba-ma! NO! No, you cant!
KUNOICHI finalist and Muscle Musical member Komiya Rie! 小宮理英! Steps! OK! Circle Hammer. OK! Log Grip. Short prayer. Yes! Jumping Spider. Pumping herself up. Yes! NO! WAIT! She falls back. Ah. OK. That's why she wasn't wet. I guess she coursed out.
26. Haga Tomoyo! 芳賀友也 Damn you scnoi, you were right. Here he goes. He's another Muscle Musical member. Steps. OK. Circle Hammer. OK! Log Grip coming up. Yes! Is it me or does the Log Grip go farther this year? Jumping Spider. Yes! Spider Walk is no problem. Half-Pipe Attack. YES! Soritatsu Kabe. First try! The Muscle Musical members must have trained. Slider Jump. Can he be the first. Setting himself. YES! NO! He couldn't hold on to the net! The All-Stars are scared of the new obstacle.
30. Kasuga Toshiaki of Audrey! 春日俊彰! Can he do it? So far Kato is the comedian who has gone the farthest. TBS has done the most hyping Kasuga. Can he live up to it? It's been a while since a legit talento has reached the 2nd Stage, right? Muscle Musical people don't count.
CMs.
Take a drink every time you see the Hyper Variety Week commercial!
That's one!
Back.
Kasuga! He does his slow walk! Steps...NO! He tried to hold on for dear life and then...
Ah, the classic TBS/Monster 9 misdirection. See: Yamamoto, Hiroshi
Luci Romberg! Can she be the 2nd woman to clear the 1st Stage?
Here she goes! Steps! OK! Circle Hammer. Yes! Log Grip. Always a dangerous place. Yes! Luci!!! Jumping Spider. Yes! NO! She had it and then...no. There's a new wind-up chat thing when people get ready to do the Jumping Spider. Doushita Luci!!!
Just didn't get high enough. Darn.
Shimada Hiroyo! 島田裕代! She's from the Muscle Musical too! She was a gymnast. Steps! Yes! Circle Hammer. Yes! Log Grip. Can she do it? The women have bee doing well this year. Yes! Jumping Spider. Yes! She's up! Spider Walk. Half-Pipe Attack. NO! She didn't really have the speed. Darn. She can't swim! She can't swim!
Yet another Muscle Musical member. Ishikawa Kiichi! 石川 輝一! Here he goes. Steps. OK. Circle Hammer. Wait. Yes! Log Grip. Here he goes. Whoa. OK! Jumping Spider. Yes! Wait..he was slipping a bit but on to the Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. He's taking his time. Yes! First try! Slider Jump. Yes! He did it!
And of course CMs.
That's two Hyper Variety Week commercials! You better be drinking along!
Back!
Let's look at him doing the Slider Jump again. He has to go through the net. Tarzan Rope coming up. Does he have time? The time is going red! Go! GO! GO! NO! The net took too long.
Ishimaru Kenjiro! 石丸謙二郎! He almost made it the last few times. Can he do it (and be the oldest to finish the 1st Stage?) Lots of chanting this year.
Here he goes! Steps. Smooth. Mondai arimasen. Circle Hammer..wait. Yes! Log Grip. Yes! Clear! Jumping Spider. Yes! NO! He couldn't hold on! I think if you touch the ramp under the trampoline you are out. That's why Rie couldn't go on (in case you were wondering).
Miho of Cherry Pie. チェリー☆パイのみほ! Some other dude. A TBS announcer and Sakamoto Issei 坂本一生 go out. Yoshikawa Yasuaki 吉川泰昭 and Tatsumi 龍美 of the Muscle Musical are out via Slider Jump. And Izuma Masakatsu 猪妻正活 of Miyazaki's team.
31. Shingo Yamamoto! It's been a while for Shingo. Can he regain the glory? Here he goes! Steps. Circle Hammer. Take your time, Shingo. Take your time. OK! Log Grip. OK! Jumping Spider. He's fallen here before. YES! No problem! And now the Half-Pipe Attack. Up and yes! AND NONONONONO! Careless miss!
CMs.
Ba..wait. Stupid fake-out. It was just Nagano running along to Shingo's run. More CMs.
Back for real. And yes, there is a slight incline and narrow plank from the Half-Pipe Attack to the Soritatsu Kabe. And Nagano was pissed. Isoi sugi!
Ouch.
Hang glider guy!
32. Kawashima Masami! 原島雅美! Steps! Ye..NO!
33. Aoki Yasuo! Sculptor guy! 青木保夫! Taking his time. And...he falls in the middle of the 3rd and 4th steps!
34. Kuramochi Minoru! 倉持稔! Or Octopus guy. Taka-tencho. Iku! Steps! NO!!!! The gap was too wide I guess. Or perhaps having an octopus stuck to his face took a bit more out of him than we thought.
Zannen deshita!
34 (supposedly) have gone! None have passed!
46. Sato Hiroki! He's an STQer (SASUKE Trial Qualifier). Our first. Steps. Circle Hammer. OK! Sorry, missed his number at first. Had to go back. Log Grip! Clear! Jumping Spider. YE...NO!!!!
Woo. Clips of him training. SASUKE training only! Kanno Hitoshi? 菅野仁志! Steps! OK! Circle Hammer. OK! Log Grip. YES! He's another STQer. Jumping Spider. Yes! A little unsure but through the Spider Walk. OK! Half-Pipe Attack. You can hear Yuji Urushihara in the background. Soritatsu Kabe! First try! Slider Jump. Yes! He goes the under. Watch your feet! Whoa! Almost! Yes! Tarzan Rope. Lots of time! Kanno! Kanno! Go! Go! Go! Hurry! Hurry! YES!!!!!!!! Cue Yagyu-Gaiden! With 3.7 left!
Shots of the crowd. The other STQers are going nuts. Yamada looks..salty.
50. David Campbell! Ninja Warrior! Steps. OK! If the commercials are right, he'll have a slight challenge on the Slider Jump. Circle Hammer...Log Grip. OK! Jumping Spider..Yes! A little unsure on the initial grip but OK! Half-Pipe Attack coming up. Yes! Can he make it two in a row? Soritatsu Kabe. First try! Slider Jump....Takes his time. Needs to hurry. YES! WHOA!!! He almost fell but held on! Hurry! Hurry! Yes! GO GO GO! Hurry! Time is going to go red! HURRY! HURRY! HURRY! HURRY! Jikan ga nai! NO!
Good job David!
So close. He underestimated the cardio!
88. Nakao Akiyoshi! He practiced with Mr. SASUKE. Will that matter? It didn't help Miyagi last time. Steps! Yes! Jeez. Jump the numbers why don't you TBS. Circle Hammer. Yes! Log Grip. Here he goes. Yes! Jumping Spider. Did Mr. SASUKE help him?
CMs.
Back!
Jumping Spider...And of course Mr. SASUKE did nothing to help him. He whiffs completely.
Well, at least it was dramatic.
STQers Nomura and Kawahara and Hashimoto Koji 橋本亘司 and Kawaguchi Tomohiro 川口朋広 all fall. Wow.
77. Urushihara Yuuji! 漆原裕治! Steps! Yes! It seems like he's the de facto STQ leader. Circle Hammer and Log Grip are OK. Jumping Spider. Yes! Yes! I bet he has the right shoes for this. Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! What does it say on his shirt? Soritatsu Kabe. Yes! Slider Jump! Yes! Up and over! Lots of time! Almost no problems! Tarzan Rope! Yes! Rope Ladder! Lots of time! Go! Go! Go! YES! YES! 7.5 seconds left!
All-Stars 0
STQers 2
Kanpeki na performance!
I won't make fun of his voice. I won't make fun of his voice. I won't make fun of his voice.
And shots of the high numbers! Jeez. Did people between 50 and 80 do absolutely nothing?
82. Miyashita Junichi! 宮下純一 He was a bronze medalist swimmer at Beijing. Steps.
CMs.
Take another Hyper Variety drink!
Back.
82. Junichi Miyashita! Steps! OK! Circle Hammer. OK! Log Grip. Takes his time. Yes! Jumping Spider. NO! He whiffs mid-air! Oh well.
79. Lee Yen Chi! リー・エンチ! Can he bring glory to Taiwan? Their baseball team sure didn't (!). Steps. Circle Hammer! Girigiri Safe! Log Grip. Jumping Spider..Yes! Uh OH..OK! Half-Pipe Attack. Lee Yen Chiiiiiiiii! Ikemen Rock Climber. Soritatsu Kabe. OK! Slider Jump. Yes! Don't take your time man! Hurry up! UH OH. Having problems on the net. HURRY! Go! GO! Tarzan Climb. GO! GO! YES! 2.6! That's three!
He was moving very confidently up until he got messed up in the net.
I have a theory that Slider Jump with the net is there to slow down people from...running around freely if you get my drift.
HERE WE GO! Mr. SASUKE! OH good. It's the kid again. OK, he's not currently dying so I believe Yamada is fair game.
81. Jeez. Hurry up.
81. Mr. SASUKE Yamada Katsumi! 山田勝己! Here we go! FALL! I mean...GO! Steps! And of course...
CMs.
Back.
81. Yamada Katsumi! Steps! I won't begrudge him if he passes this time. If only because of the child. Circle Hammer is unfortunately OK. Log Grip. OK. Yeah yeah. Jumping Spider as the crowd chants his name...YES! I mean NOOOOOOOOOOO! YAMADA HAS KILLED A CHILD!
Wow, if Yamada couldn't do it for a sick child, who can he do it for? He was up and then down again on the Jumping Spider. Sheesh. Do it for the hot dogs Katsumi!
84. Okuyama Yoshiyuki! 奥山義行! Here he goes. Steps! He's all dressed up this time. Circle Hammer. OK! Log Grip. Jumping Spider. YES! A little giri giri but yes! Through. Half-Pipe Attack. YES! Soritatsu Kabe. Time is OK. First time! Everyone is OWNING the Soritatsu Kabe tonight. Slider Jump. Yes! He goes the under. Watch your feet! Tarzan Rope. Lots of time. Tarzan Climb. And...the time is going red! Hurry! Yes! 3.3 seconds left!
You have a choice. Going over is safer but going under takes less time.
Takahashi Mitsuomi 高橋光臣 and Ryo Shirai 白井涼 (at the Tarzan Rope) go out. And K-1 fighter Watanabe Kazuhisa 渡辺一久.
Wakky wants to be the first celeb to get through.
89. Wakky of Penalty. Steps! OK! Circle Hammer. In the world of Monster 9, Wakky is a proven commodity. Log Grip is OK! In the world of non-Monster 9 programming SASUKE fans, Wakky is unproven. Jumping Spider. He's up! Really high! But he couldn't hold on! No!
Miyazaki and Hiromichi Sato are nervous.
Clips of Sato. He's arafo - around forty. Can he do it? I think there will be no cuts from here on out as...
90. Sato Hiromichi! 佐藤弘道 And his grin! Wait, he's not arafo..he's forty. Steps. Circle Hammer. Yes! Log Grip coming up. Readies himself. OK. Jumping Spider. Yes! A bit unsure on the Spider Walk though. OK! Half-Pipe Attack. Attack!! Yes. Soritatsu Kabe. This is his killer. First time! Jeez, is the wall lower or something. Slider Jump. Yes! Can he do it? He'd be the first legit celeb in ages. And...
CMs
Back.
The Slider Jump! Yes! He goes the over. Does he have time? Here he goes. Tarzan Climb...time is going red...Hurry! YES! 1.5 seconds left!
That's five! Heh, Shingo looks a little pissy in the background there.
And White SASUKE Jesus is waiting.
More clips of Sato actually doing something for once and earning his number.
91. Levi Meeuwenberg! He's the last hope for G4 today. JET got theirs man, JET got theirs.
The clips of Levi doing freerunning and meeting Nagano.
Here he goes. Steps. OK! Circle Hammer is OK. Log Grip. OK! Flip. Jumping Spider is no problem. Slightly awkward Spider Walk. Half-Pipe Attack is OK. Soritatsu Kabe. First try! Slider Jump. NO!!!!!!
Wow. He looked really confident going into that part. Erm..so was my theory correct? Ouch. Cue the overly dramatic music.
And it all makes sense now. G4 delays the broadcast and adds a live event to draw away from their overall showing in SASUKE 22.
He can't believe this happened. Most people can't. Wow. The crowd is really subdued.
92. Takeda Toshihiro! 竹田敏浩 Steps! Heh. Cocky guy.
CMs
And we're back! Wait. We're not. More teaser. They point out that three of the five All-Stars have failed and Takeda at the Jumping Spider.
CMs
Back.
Takeda! Step. OK! Circle Hammer. whoa...OK! Log Grip. He'll get through this no problem. Jumping Spider. Breath. ES!NO !NO!N!O!NO! I mean..NO! Wow.
Ah..He didn't get a clean jump. He was up...then he wasn't. Cue the dramatic music!
Ishimori Taiji 石森太二(NOAH) and Matsunaga Tomohiro 松永共広(silver medalist) and Iketani Naoki 池谷直樹 and Kawashima Takayuki 川島孝幸 (Muscle Musical) all fall to SASUKE.
96. Kitagawa Tomoki! He's a rugby player. Steps. Circle Hammer. Whoa....OK! Need a slight tug there. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider. YES! He's up! And...Slowly...He's not used to this I think. Her..NO! He didn't have it.
Next up. Paul ANTHONY Terek! It's time for some revenge! Terek should come to Japan as pro wrestler or something.
98. Paul ANTHONY Terek! Here he goes! Steps. Circle Hammer. Whoa..OK. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider! Yes! Man, he's too big for that thing. Slowly. He has on tabi. Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. NO! YES! Slider Jump coming up. Taking his time. Ye...NO! I guess he lost control at the end.
I guess it was time for SASUKE's revenge.
Slider Jump = White man killer. Damn racist.
Alright, I admit, I said double digits going to the 2nd Stage. I stat cursed SASUKE.
Clips of Mr. HANDBALL! By the way, did we see his teammate Sho Iwanaga?
Cue the King Kull music! It's Miyazaki Daisuke!
99. Miyazaki Daisuke! 宮崎大輔! Steps. Circle Hammer...whoa. OK. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider. Yes! Here he goes. The walls must be slippery or something. Through. Half-Pipe Attack. Wow. Kind of a low run. Wait..He swings back and forth. Only once chance here. And he does the Soritatsu Kabe! Slider Jump. Yes! He goes over...is that a tactical mistake? Go! Hurry! He doesn't have much time. Tarzan Rope. Daijobu kanaa? Masaka! Masaka! Masaka!
Dammit. Miyazaki times out.
The Half-Pipe Attack took time but DO NOT GO OVER THE NET IF YOU DON'T HAVE TIME. It takes too long.
Apparently I missed Levi asking why he timed out. Um. OK.
Highlights and privacy invasion of Makoto Nagano's life.
The All-Stars are in a bad spot! Once again, Nagano is their only hope!
There's over an hour left, one person on the 1st Stage left and possibly three more stages to go. Interesting.
100. Nagano Makoto! 長野誠! Here he goes! Steps. OK. Circle Hammer is OK! Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider. Yes! Wow, he just kind of floated in the air there. Cool. Only he knew what he would do. Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. Yes! Wow, only Terek missed it the first time (of those shown).
CMs
Back.
Here he goes...SlidinNO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a joke here written down about something blue and something about balls helping Nagano first attaining Kanzen Seiha that I will refrain from using out of respect to him.
Wow. He just missed getting a hand on the net.
Arsenette totally called it by the way.
2nd Stage!
Hrm..If Okuyama = Yes, then Nagano = No. Interesting.
A look at the stages. Nothing much changed yet. Let's see lots of people failing the Salmon Ladder. OK. The thing hasn't changed at all. 80 seconds to clear.
Here's the first! Kanno Hitoshi! 菅野仁志!
Wow. Sato and no All-Stars. Downhill Jump OK. Salmon Ladder. YES! No problem! Swing Ladder. OK! Metal Spin. Whoa..OK! YES! More than enough time! Wall Lifting. Yes! Yes! Yes! Wait...YES! He's through!
Wow, that was easy.
Shoes! It can only be Urushihara Yuji! 漆原裕治!
Wow, the crowd is super pumped up.
Downhill Jump is OK. Salmon Ladder. Slip. But re-aligns. No problem! Swing Ladder coming up. Metal Spin. OK! Wow, this is FAST! Wall Lifting. Hurry! Can he do it! YES! STQers represent!
Lee Yen Chi is up next! リー・エンチ! It's time for his revenge. Downhill Jump is OK. Salmon Ladder. He can get through this but he took too long last time. Yes! Damn, I think having the STQers there brings the energy level. Metal Spin. Yes! Wall Lifting. YES! YES!
That's three for three! Taiwan REPRESENT!
Wow. The STQers and Lee Yen Chi say "All-Stars who?"
I'm saying wow a lot. This maybe what SASUKE needs - the STQers are bringing such energy that everything feels..fresher. It's like Urushihara and Kanno are treating the course like it's SASUKE Park. Something you just do. Not something you obsess over (although they obviously do).
Next up! Okuyama Yoshiyuki! 奥山義行 Can he make it four for four?
Downhill Jump is OK. Salmon Ladder. YES! Swing Ladder. Still has lots of time. Metal Spin. YES! WOW! Wall Lifting. YES! YES! YEEEEEEEES! Four for four!
And now...Hiromichi Sato. 佐藤弘道 One of these things is not like the others.
Downhill Jump is OK. Can he do the Salmon Ladder? Halfway now. Oh wow. He did it! I'm amazed. Seriously. Swing Ladder. And break time.
CMs.
OK, the four who have made it through have maybe less than fifteen tries at the course total between them (Yamada has 21. Yamamoto, 22). This is crazy.
Back.
Metal Spin coming up. NO!!!!!!!!!! Whew, I needed someone to disappoint children. In that category, Hiromichi Sato did not LET ME DOWN!
Let's kill some time and look at his run again.
Wow, four of five move on.
3rd Stage
Arm Ring. Kudari Lamp Grasper. Devil Steps. Shin-Cliff HangerJumping Bar. Hang Climbing. Spider Flip. (Not so) Gliding Ring. No time limit. Wow. absolutely no shots of the All-Stars at all.
The Final Stage is waiting!
菅野仁志 Kanno up first. Arm Rings. OK. Kudari Lamp Grasper. Clip. I guess he needed another can of SASUKE Spray. Good rhythm. And OK! Looks a little shaky.
Devil Steps. This took out Miyazaki last time. Here he goes. At the turn. OK. NO problem! Rest time. Shin-Cliff Hanger. Here he goes. At the slant...Going for the jump. He'll make it. YES!
CMs
OK, his Shin-Cliff Hanger attempt was in a commercial (one of the commercials) so that shouldn't have been a surprise. But I guess since no one knew who he was, most probably dismissed it.
Back.
Shin-Cliff Hanger. Yes! Jumping Bar coming up. Lee Yen Chi looks on! His family is pumped! I'm sorry but this is the most excited I've seen a crowd in ages.
Jumping Bar. One. Two. Three. Four. Hang Climbing coming up. OK. OK. OK. Ikeru! Ikeru! Yes! Spider Flip coming up. Daijobu! Some time getting set.
WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
COURSE OUT!!!! NOO!!!!!! He was pretty much spent.
Once he put his legs on the bar, he was out. But hey, he's in the company of the All-Stars. And even surpassed Takeda.
Shoes. Shoes. Shoes. Shoes. Muscle Park. He lives with his mom! It's Urushihara Yuji! 漆原裕治!
UNCLI represent! Arm Rings. No problem. Hahaha. His UNCLI shirt has the kanji for shoes on the sleeve. He's the No. 3 Cliffer.
Kudari Lamp Grasper. OK! Devil Steps coming up. Good - really freaking fast - Devil Steps rhythm. Wow. Hey, that teenager is there. Shin-Cliff Hanger coming up. At the slant. YES! NO PROBLEM! Wow. He totally pwned that thing as the kids say.
Is our hero of the new age Urushihara Yuji? Lee Yen Chi? Okuyama Yoshiyuki?
Back.
He hits the Shin-Cliff Hanger like he went to some indoor amusement park and practiced it over a dozen times!
Rest as he gets ready for the Jumping Bars. One. Two. Three. Four! Hang Climbing coming up. I guess you can use it like a rock climb. Spider Flip coming up. Don't touch the poles man! He's up. Getting ready. Ikeru yo! Resting. Or praying. Hard to say. Getting ready again. He changed his shoes I think. Yeah, he has different shoes on. Only Nagano has passed this. Here he goes. YES! The jump is not the point. It's that you have to get down and get ready later. Gliding Ring! Wow. This is awesome. Here he goes. It glides! JUMP! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Final Stage here we come!
The SASUKE Park All-Stars and Ultimate Cliffers jump for joy as Katsumi Yamada looks on. Heh.
OK, see, this is the thing. Because Nagano did it for the All-Stars. Urushihara is doing it for a bigger, just as dedicated group of people. That's why this is so emotional.
Poor Lee Yen Chi and Okuyama Yoshiyuki don't have much time to do their thing.
JET has to be happy about this. Lee Yen Chi! リー・エンチ!
Arm Rings. Kudari Lamp Grasper. He looks more ripped than usual but can he do it? Does he have it in him? A bit hangy, as opposed to the other two. But he's through! Devil Steps. He'll rest and spray up here. Up. Yes. At the turn. Yes! This the big one. Shin-Cliff Hanger. Here he goes. At the slant. Whoa...OK. Here he goes. Wait...NO!
He wasn't set. Still, JET has to be happy. Let's give him a hand!
Replays.
He wants to do this again!
Okuyama! 奥山義行! We have about twenty minutes left and we know that someone is moving on. I'll be frank, it doesn't look good for Yoshiyuki.
Arm Rings are no problem. Can he make his children happy? Or will THEY GO HOME IN TEARS! Kudari Lamp Grasper. No problem! Yoshiyuki impresses me and then we go to commercials.
CMs
OK, it's those stupid Baby Cokes. Hurry up!
Back.
Kudari Lamp Grasper is no problem. Here comes the Devil Steps. Getting set. Up. Methodical. At the turn. And he's through!
Shin-Cliff Hanger...Everyone is waiting...At the slant...Here he goes. NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And the kids are surprised. The girl is on the verge of tears...stay on her! Stay on her! No. Darn it. Kuyashii node mata ganbarimasu!
It's like his real Olympic dream!
Urushihara Yuji is the first man to make the new Final Stage! And Mr. Yamada drops his two cents. Let's see...there wil be a montage and then what?
Rope Climb for 4. Spider Climb to Rope Climb for 17. But since then...no one. We don't even know what it is.
NEW FINAL STAGE!
COMMERCIALS!
Here's a theory: THE OTHER ALL-STARS HAD ENOUGH CLASS TO STAY AWAY AND LET SOMEONE ELSE TAKE THE STAGE. GO AWAY FOR NOW. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
The New FINAL STAGE: Heavenly Ladder to the G Rope. 45 seconds? Yeesh.
BUG IN MIKI footage. And then shots of him training at a playground. Can he be the third man to finish SASUKE?
Woooooo..Okuyama is PIMPING in that jacket.
I've never liveblogged a Final Stage before. It's uncharted territory for everyone!
Jeez. That's high.
ONE MAN LEFT STANDING. He is URUSHIHARA YUJI. 漆原裕治!
And he has the support of the STQers. The Unlimited Cliffers. The SASUKE Park All-Stars. If he does it. It's for them.
Here we go!
Up the Heavenly Ladder.
10 M mark.
CMs
Of course.
Don't complain. You knew it was coming.
Back.
Here he goes. Heavenly Ladder. At the 10 Meter mark. At the G Rope! GO MAN GO!
19
18
17
16
15
14
13
12
Time is going red! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
SO CLOSE!
Damn.
To tell the truth, I thought going in he was going to make it.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. The only thing I can do is laugh.
That is awesome. TBS led me on and got me thinking someone was going to finish tonight.
You know what? Whatever. We just saw a "new hero" born. A dark horse whose group seemed to bring a lot more energy to the later stages than the last few shows.
Is this the turning point? This isn't like 20 when Levi was the last man standing and the All-Stars crapped out. Naturally, this is better if only for the number of people moving on. This isn't even like the All-Stars return to form in 21. Sure it was emotional but this was fresher. Different. It wasn't just because of a new group of faces. Only Kanno was going through his first try at SASUKE. And yet, it didn't suffer at all with the lack of All-Stars. TBS and Monster 9 have been looking for their new stars and really, I've never understood why they've never given Urushihara's group more chances. They have to know who they are. They know that they are at the Trials. That they send in letters and videos. That they are at Muscle Park. And now one of them has gone farther than anyone else in the last five shows. They are the future of SASUKE if it wants to stay alive in Japan. Give them a chance Monster 9.
As far as this SASUKE was concerned it was STQers that stole the show from the All-Stars and maybe that's how it's going to be from now on.
Truth! Justice! No no.
Say your prayers! Take your vitamins! No. That's not it either. Let me check my notes. Here we go.
Power! Speed! Balance! These are the qualities you need to beat SASUKE!
Fisherman! Firefighters! Freerunners! Swimmers! Wrestlers! Shoe salesmen! Do any of them have it in them to beat SASUKE? Let's find out!
SASUKE!
DO NOT LINK TO THIS IN THE G4 FORUMS.
There is everyone! In front of the Final Stage! Pump those fists! Survival Attack SASUKE!
1st Stage!
Chanting!
1. Shoji Tomoharu! 庄司智春! Steps! Yes! Circle Hammer (it's new!). Yes....no..Yes...OK. He's just kind of floating there. And he's been there a while. Yes! OK. Log Grip coming up. He practiced this with Wakky. NO!
2. Crazy Jietai guy! Is hiding! Steps are OK. Circle Hammer. Not quite. YES! You have to take your time. Log Grip. YES! Jumping Spider coming up. Here he goes! NO! He didn't have the timing.
3. Bobby Ologun! ボビー・オロゴン! His brother did the course before. Steps. OK. Bobby is a big guy. Circle Hammer. Yeeees! Log Grip. NO! He fell the same place as Shoji.
7. Pak Bo Kyung (maybe...not sure about that spelling there)! パク・ボキュン! He's Korean. Steps! NO! Abunai! He had to put his hand up and couldn't get it. Oh well. Sell them CDs!
Yamamoto says "Oh my god."
14. Monomane specialist Yamamoto Takahiro 山本高広 does his Kane Kosugi impersonation! Can he channel the spirit of Kane to do it? He does a Kane yell. Steps. Hai hai hai...NO! He points to his gold number as fact that he is a champion already.
Muscle Musical member Inada Ayako 稲田亜矢子 has no number. Steps. YES! Circle Hammer. Spins around. Yes! Log Grip. Can she do it? Here she goes. NO! Almost there!!!
11. We've gone back in time to see monomane specialist Hori ホリ do his Takuya Kimura. Steps. OK. Circle Hammer. Yes! Log Grip...NO! And then he does his Kinpachi sensei.
Someone, a waiter, Mohammed Yone モハメド ヨネ, a taiko drummer and doctor all meet their watery dooms.
Dramatic music!
14. Kawahara Takuya! 川原拓也! Here he goes. Steps. Circle Hammer coming up. Yes! NO! YES! He almost leaned back too far. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider...YES! Ikeru! Spider Walk. through! Half-Pipe Attack. Tobu! Yes! Soritatsu Kabe! First try! Here he goes. Slider Jump (it's new!). NO! He couldn't reach the net! He kind of lost control at the end. I think you have to let momentum carry you.
Nagano looks on in fear!
Kawahara is the first to the try the Slider Jump.
Nagano: "Kowai desu!"
Comedian Kojima Yoshio! 小島よしお! Here he goes! Steps. 120 seconds by the way.
And our first commercial break!
Red Cliff Part Two! Go see it!
Back!
Kojima. Steps. Yes! Circle Hammer. NO! Yes..wait. Yes! Log Grip. Can he do it? He's taking a long time. NO! He had it then he didn't. Darn. And then he gets the comedy bump of getting hit in the head by the log. Oh pa pi!
Chiro チロ is too small for the Steps.
18. Zabungle's Kato Ayumu! 加藤歩! The announcer will say kuyashii if he fails. Here he goes. Steps. WHOA! OK. Circle Hammer. They're getting all the comedians out of the way I see. YES! Log Grip. Here he goes. YES! Is he blown up already? Jumping Spider. Taking his time. UP! YES! Here he goes. Can he get through the Spider Walk. Not much time left. He goes through slowly. Stamina is not his strong point. Half-Pipe Attack. And....NO! He couldn't get the momentum. Kuyashii desu! He used to play handball. But he is NOT a man of hands on balls!
Our first All-Star sighting!
Akiyama Kazuhiko! Last time he failed the Half-Pipe Attack. Can he do it?
Akiyama has crabs!
20. Akiyama Kazuhiko! 秋山和彦! Steps are OK! Circle Hammer. Whoa...OK..wait. OK! Log Grip. Sets. No problem-o! Jumping Spider...YES! NO problem! Hayai through the Spider Walk. Half-Pipe Attack. NO! He slipped on the run up!
The slo-mo shows that he slipped coming off the platform. Damn.
Yes, we can! Yes, we can!
It's Obam...er..Nocchi of Dangerous! It's Dangerous and Dokidoki Camp's Kishi Manabu.
Kishi Manabu! 岸学! He does a Jack Bauer impersonation. Steps. Jack Bauuuuuuuer!
The other guy in Dangerous, Yasuda Kazuhiro 安田和博 fails the Circle Hammer.
Nocchi up next! ノッチ! Here he goes. Can he? Steps. Yes, we can! Circle Hammer. Yes..wait...no. Yes, we can! Log Grip coming. O-ba-ma! NO! No, you cant!
KUNOICHI finalist and Muscle Musical member Komiya Rie! 小宮理英! Steps! OK! Circle Hammer. OK! Log Grip. Short prayer. Yes! Jumping Spider. Pumping herself up. Yes! NO! WAIT! She falls back. Ah. OK. That's why she wasn't wet. I guess she coursed out.
26. Haga Tomoyo! 芳賀友也 Damn you scnoi, you were right. Here he goes. He's another Muscle Musical member. Steps. OK. Circle Hammer. OK! Log Grip coming up. Yes! Is it me or does the Log Grip go farther this year? Jumping Spider. Yes! Spider Walk is no problem. Half-Pipe Attack. YES! Soritatsu Kabe. First try! The Muscle Musical members must have trained. Slider Jump. Can he be the first. Setting himself. YES! NO! He couldn't hold on to the net! The All-Stars are scared of the new obstacle.
30. Kasuga Toshiaki of Audrey! 春日俊彰! Can he do it? So far Kato is the comedian who has gone the farthest. TBS has done the most hyping Kasuga. Can he live up to it? It's been a while since a legit talento has reached the 2nd Stage, right? Muscle Musical people don't count.
CMs.
Take a drink every time you see the Hyper Variety Week commercial!
That's one!
Back.
Kasuga! He does his slow walk! Steps...NO! He tried to hold on for dear life and then...
Ah, the classic TBS/Monster 9 misdirection. See: Yamamoto, Hiroshi
Luci Romberg! Can she be the 2nd woman to clear the 1st Stage?
Here she goes! Steps! OK! Circle Hammer. Yes! Log Grip. Always a dangerous place. Yes! Luci!!! Jumping Spider. Yes! NO! She had it and then...no. There's a new wind-up chat thing when people get ready to do the Jumping Spider. Doushita Luci!!!
Just didn't get high enough. Darn.
Shimada Hiroyo! 島田裕代! She's from the Muscle Musical too! She was a gymnast. Steps! Yes! Circle Hammer. Yes! Log Grip. Can she do it? The women have bee doing well this year. Yes! Jumping Spider. Yes! She's up! Spider Walk. Half-Pipe Attack. NO! She didn't really have the speed. Darn. She can't swim! She can't swim!
Yet another Muscle Musical member. Ishikawa Kiichi! 石川 輝一! Here he goes. Steps. OK. Circle Hammer. Wait. Yes! Log Grip. Here he goes. Whoa. OK! Jumping Spider. Yes! Wait..he was slipping a bit but on to the Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. He's taking his time. Yes! First try! Slider Jump. Yes! He did it!
And of course CMs.
That's two Hyper Variety Week commercials! You better be drinking along!
Back!
Let's look at him doing the Slider Jump again. He has to go through the net. Tarzan Rope coming up. Does he have time? The time is going red! Go! GO! GO! NO! The net took too long.
Ishimaru Kenjiro! 石丸謙二郎! He almost made it the last few times. Can he do it (and be the oldest to finish the 1st Stage?) Lots of chanting this year.
Here he goes! Steps. Smooth. Mondai arimasen. Circle Hammer..wait. Yes! Log Grip. Yes! Clear! Jumping Spider. Yes! NO! He couldn't hold on! I think if you touch the ramp under the trampoline you are out. That's why Rie couldn't go on (in case you were wondering).
Miho of Cherry Pie. チェリー☆パイのみほ! Some other dude. A TBS announcer and Sakamoto Issei 坂本一生 go out. Yoshikawa Yasuaki 吉川泰昭 and Tatsumi 龍美 of the Muscle Musical are out via Slider Jump. And Izuma Masakatsu 猪妻正活 of Miyazaki's team.
31. Shingo Yamamoto! It's been a while for Shingo. Can he regain the glory? Here he goes! Steps. Circle Hammer. Take your time, Shingo. Take your time. OK! Log Grip. OK! Jumping Spider. He's fallen here before. YES! No problem! And now the Half-Pipe Attack. Up and yes! AND NONONONONO! Careless miss!
CMs.
Ba..wait. Stupid fake-out. It was just Nagano running along to Shingo's run. More CMs.
Back for real. And yes, there is a slight incline and narrow plank from the Half-Pipe Attack to the Soritatsu Kabe. And Nagano was pissed. Isoi sugi!
Ouch.
Hang glider guy!
32. Kawashima Masami! 原島雅美! Steps! Ye..NO!
33. Aoki Yasuo! Sculptor guy! 青木保夫! Taking his time. And...he falls in the middle of the 3rd and 4th steps!
34. Kuramochi Minoru! 倉持稔! Or Octopus guy. Taka-tencho. Iku! Steps! NO!!!! The gap was too wide I guess. Or perhaps having an octopus stuck to his face took a bit more out of him than we thought.
Zannen deshita!
34 (supposedly) have gone! None have passed!
46. Sato Hiroki! He's an STQer (SASUKE Trial Qualifier). Our first. Steps. Circle Hammer. OK! Sorry, missed his number at first. Had to go back. Log Grip! Clear! Jumping Spider. YE...NO!!!!
Woo. Clips of him training. SASUKE training only! Kanno Hitoshi? 菅野仁志! Steps! OK! Circle Hammer. OK! Log Grip. YES! He's another STQer. Jumping Spider. Yes! A little unsure but through the Spider Walk. OK! Half-Pipe Attack. You can hear Yuji Urushihara in the background. Soritatsu Kabe! First try! Slider Jump. Yes! He goes the under. Watch your feet! Whoa! Almost! Yes! Tarzan Rope. Lots of time! Kanno! Kanno! Go! Go! Go! Hurry! Hurry! YES!!!!!!!! Cue Yagyu-Gaiden! With 3.7 left!
Shots of the crowd. The other STQers are going nuts. Yamada looks..salty.
50. David Campbell! Ninja Warrior! Steps. OK! If the commercials are right, he'll have a slight challenge on the Slider Jump. Circle Hammer...Log Grip. OK! Jumping Spider..Yes! A little unsure on the initial grip but OK! Half-Pipe Attack coming up. Yes! Can he make it two in a row? Soritatsu Kabe. First try! Slider Jump....Takes his time. Needs to hurry. YES! WHOA!!! He almost fell but held on! Hurry! Hurry! Yes! GO GO GO! Hurry! Time is going to go red! HURRY! HURRY! HURRY! HURRY! Jikan ga nai! NO!
Good job David!
So close. He underestimated the cardio!
88. Nakao Akiyoshi! He practiced with Mr. SASUKE. Will that matter? It didn't help Miyagi last time. Steps! Yes! Jeez. Jump the numbers why don't you TBS. Circle Hammer. Yes! Log Grip. Here he goes. Yes! Jumping Spider. Did Mr. SASUKE help him?
CMs.
Back!
Jumping Spider...And of course Mr. SASUKE did nothing to help him. He whiffs completely.
Well, at least it was dramatic.
STQers Nomura and Kawahara and Hashimoto Koji 橋本亘司 and Kawaguchi Tomohiro 川口朋広 all fall. Wow.
77. Urushihara Yuuji! 漆原裕治! Steps! Yes! It seems like he's the de facto STQ leader. Circle Hammer and Log Grip are OK. Jumping Spider. Yes! Yes! I bet he has the right shoes for this. Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! What does it say on his shirt? Soritatsu Kabe. Yes! Slider Jump! Yes! Up and over! Lots of time! Almost no problems! Tarzan Rope! Yes! Rope Ladder! Lots of time! Go! Go! Go! YES! YES! 7.5 seconds left!
All-Stars 0
STQers 2
Kanpeki na performance!
I won't make fun of his voice. I won't make fun of his voice. I won't make fun of his voice.
And shots of the high numbers! Jeez. Did people between 50 and 80 do absolutely nothing?
82. Miyashita Junichi! 宮下純一 He was a bronze medalist swimmer at Beijing. Steps.
CMs.
Take another Hyper Variety drink!
Back.
82. Junichi Miyashita! Steps! OK! Circle Hammer. OK! Log Grip. Takes his time. Yes! Jumping Spider. NO! He whiffs mid-air! Oh well.
79. Lee Yen Chi! リー・エンチ! Can he bring glory to Taiwan? Their baseball team sure didn't (!). Steps. Circle Hammer! Girigiri Safe! Log Grip. Jumping Spider..Yes! Uh OH..OK! Half-Pipe Attack. Lee Yen Chiiiiiiiii! Ikemen Rock Climber. Soritatsu Kabe. OK! Slider Jump. Yes! Don't take your time man! Hurry up! UH OH. Having problems on the net. HURRY! Go! GO! Tarzan Climb. GO! GO! YES! 2.6! That's three!
He was moving very confidently up until he got messed up in the net.
I have a theory that Slider Jump with the net is there to slow down people from...running around freely if you get my drift.
HERE WE GO! Mr. SASUKE! OH good. It's the kid again. OK, he's not currently dying so I believe Yamada is fair game.
81. Jeez. Hurry up.
81. Mr. SASUKE Yamada Katsumi! 山田勝己! Here we go! FALL! I mean...GO! Steps! And of course...
CMs.
Back.
81. Yamada Katsumi! Steps! I won't begrudge him if he passes this time. If only because of the child. Circle Hammer is unfortunately OK. Log Grip. OK. Yeah yeah. Jumping Spider as the crowd chants his name...YES! I mean NOOOOOOOOOOO! YAMADA HAS KILLED A CHILD!
Wow, if Yamada couldn't do it for a sick child, who can he do it for? He was up and then down again on the Jumping Spider. Sheesh. Do it for the hot dogs Katsumi!
84. Okuyama Yoshiyuki! 奥山義行! Here he goes. Steps! He's all dressed up this time. Circle Hammer. OK! Log Grip. Jumping Spider. YES! A little giri giri but yes! Through. Half-Pipe Attack. YES! Soritatsu Kabe. Time is OK. First time! Everyone is OWNING the Soritatsu Kabe tonight. Slider Jump. Yes! He goes the under. Watch your feet! Tarzan Rope. Lots of time. Tarzan Climb. And...the time is going red! Hurry! Yes! 3.3 seconds left!
You have a choice. Going over is safer but going under takes less time.
Takahashi Mitsuomi 高橋光臣 and Ryo Shirai 白井涼 (at the Tarzan Rope) go out. And K-1 fighter Watanabe Kazuhisa 渡辺一久.
Wakky wants to be the first celeb to get through.
89. Wakky of Penalty. Steps! OK! Circle Hammer. In the world of Monster 9, Wakky is a proven commodity. Log Grip is OK! In the world of non-Monster 9 programming SASUKE fans, Wakky is unproven. Jumping Spider. He's up! Really high! But he couldn't hold on! No!
Miyazaki and Hiromichi Sato are nervous.
Clips of Sato. He's arafo - around forty. Can he do it? I think there will be no cuts from here on out as...
90. Sato Hiromichi! 佐藤弘道 And his grin! Wait, he's not arafo..he's forty. Steps. Circle Hammer. Yes! Log Grip coming up. Readies himself. OK. Jumping Spider. Yes! A bit unsure on the Spider Walk though. OK! Half-Pipe Attack. Attack!! Yes. Soritatsu Kabe. This is his killer. First time! Jeez, is the wall lower or something. Slider Jump. Yes! Can he do it? He'd be the first legit celeb in ages. And...
CMs
Back.
The Slider Jump! Yes! He goes the over. Does he have time? Here he goes. Tarzan Climb...time is going red...Hurry! YES! 1.5 seconds left!
That's five! Heh, Shingo looks a little pissy in the background there.
And White SASUKE Jesus is waiting.
More clips of Sato actually doing something for once and earning his number.
91. Levi Meeuwenberg! He's the last hope for G4 today. JET got theirs man, JET got theirs.
The clips of Levi doing freerunning and meeting Nagano.
Here he goes. Steps. OK! Circle Hammer is OK. Log Grip. OK! Flip. Jumping Spider is no problem. Slightly awkward Spider Walk. Half-Pipe Attack is OK. Soritatsu Kabe. First try! Slider Jump. NO!!!!!!
Wow. He looked really confident going into that part. Erm..so was my theory correct? Ouch. Cue the overly dramatic music.
And it all makes sense now. G4 delays the broadcast and adds a live event to draw away from their overall showing in SASUKE 22.
He can't believe this happened. Most people can't. Wow. The crowd is really subdued.
92. Takeda Toshihiro! 竹田敏浩 Steps! Heh. Cocky guy.
CMs
And we're back! Wait. We're not. More teaser. They point out that three of the five All-Stars have failed and Takeda at the Jumping Spider.
CMs
Back.
Takeda! Step. OK! Circle Hammer. whoa...OK! Log Grip. He'll get through this no problem. Jumping Spider. Breath. ES!NO !NO!N!O!NO! I mean..NO! Wow.
Ah..He didn't get a clean jump. He was up...then he wasn't. Cue the dramatic music!
Ishimori Taiji 石森太二(NOAH) and Matsunaga Tomohiro 松永共広(silver medalist) and Iketani Naoki 池谷直樹 and Kawashima Takayuki 川島孝幸 (Muscle Musical) all fall to SASUKE.
96. Kitagawa Tomoki! He's a rugby player. Steps. Circle Hammer. Whoa....OK! Need a slight tug there. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider. YES! He's up! And...Slowly...He's not used to this I think. Her..NO! He didn't have it.
Next up. Paul ANTHONY Terek! It's time for some revenge! Terek should come to Japan as pro wrestler or something.
98. Paul ANTHONY Terek! Here he goes! Steps. Circle Hammer. Whoa..OK. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider! Yes! Man, he's too big for that thing. Slowly. He has on tabi. Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. NO! YES! Slider Jump coming up. Taking his time. Ye...NO! I guess he lost control at the end.
I guess it was time for SASUKE's revenge.
Slider Jump = White man killer. Damn racist.
Alright, I admit, I said double digits going to the 2nd Stage. I stat cursed SASUKE.
Clips of Mr. HANDBALL! By the way, did we see his teammate Sho Iwanaga?
Cue the King Kull music! It's Miyazaki Daisuke!
99. Miyazaki Daisuke! 宮崎大輔! Steps. Circle Hammer...whoa. OK. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider. Yes! Here he goes. The walls must be slippery or something. Through. Half-Pipe Attack. Wow. Kind of a low run. Wait..He swings back and forth. Only once chance here. And he does the Soritatsu Kabe! Slider Jump. Yes! He goes over...is that a tactical mistake? Go! Hurry! He doesn't have much time. Tarzan Rope. Daijobu kanaa? Masaka! Masaka! Masaka!
Dammit. Miyazaki times out.
The Half-Pipe Attack took time but DO NOT GO OVER THE NET IF YOU DON'T HAVE TIME. It takes too long.
Apparently I missed Levi asking why he timed out. Um. OK.
Highlights and privacy invasion of Makoto Nagano's life.
The All-Stars are in a bad spot! Once again, Nagano is their only hope!
There's over an hour left, one person on the 1st Stage left and possibly three more stages to go. Interesting.
100. Nagano Makoto! 長野誠! Here he goes! Steps. OK. Circle Hammer is OK! Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider. Yes! Wow, he just kind of floated in the air there. Cool. Only he knew what he would do. Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. Yes! Wow, only Terek missed it the first time (of those shown).
CMs
Back.
Here he goes...SlidinNO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a joke here written down about something blue and something about balls helping Nagano first attaining Kanzen Seiha that I will refrain from using out of respect to him.
Wow. He just missed getting a hand on the net.
Arsenette totally called it by the way.
2nd Stage!
Hrm..If Okuyama = Yes, then Nagano = No. Interesting.
A look at the stages. Nothing much changed yet. Let's see lots of people failing the Salmon Ladder. OK. The thing hasn't changed at all. 80 seconds to clear.
Here's the first! Kanno Hitoshi! 菅野仁志!
Wow. Sato and no All-Stars. Downhill Jump OK. Salmon Ladder. YES! No problem! Swing Ladder. OK! Metal Spin. Whoa..OK! YES! More than enough time! Wall Lifting. Yes! Yes! Yes! Wait...YES! He's through!
Wow, that was easy.
Shoes! It can only be Urushihara Yuji! 漆原裕治!
Wow, the crowd is super pumped up.
Downhill Jump is OK. Salmon Ladder. Slip. But re-aligns. No problem! Swing Ladder coming up. Metal Spin. OK! Wow, this is FAST! Wall Lifting. Hurry! Can he do it! YES! STQers represent!
Lee Yen Chi is up next! リー・エンチ! It's time for his revenge. Downhill Jump is OK. Salmon Ladder. He can get through this but he took too long last time. Yes! Damn, I think having the STQers there brings the energy level. Metal Spin. Yes! Wall Lifting. YES! YES!
That's three for three! Taiwan REPRESENT!
Wow. The STQers and Lee Yen Chi say "All-Stars who?"
I'm saying wow a lot. This maybe what SASUKE needs - the STQers are bringing such energy that everything feels..fresher. It's like Urushihara and Kanno are treating the course like it's SASUKE Park. Something you just do. Not something you obsess over (although they obviously do).
Next up! Okuyama Yoshiyuki! 奥山義行 Can he make it four for four?
Downhill Jump is OK. Salmon Ladder. YES! Swing Ladder. Still has lots of time. Metal Spin. YES! WOW! Wall Lifting. YES! YES! YEEEEEEEES! Four for four!
And now...Hiromichi Sato. 佐藤弘道 One of these things is not like the others.
Downhill Jump is OK. Can he do the Salmon Ladder? Halfway now. Oh wow. He did it! I'm amazed. Seriously. Swing Ladder. And break time.
CMs.
OK, the four who have made it through have maybe less than fifteen tries at the course total between them (Yamada has 21. Yamamoto, 22). This is crazy.
Back.
Metal Spin coming up. NO!!!!!!!!!! Whew, I needed someone to disappoint children. In that category, Hiromichi Sato did not LET ME DOWN!
Let's kill some time and look at his run again.
Wow, four of five move on.
3rd Stage
Arm Ring. Kudari Lamp Grasper. Devil Steps. Shin-Cliff HangerJumping Bar. Hang Climbing. Spider Flip. (Not so) Gliding Ring. No time limit. Wow. absolutely no shots of the All-Stars at all.
The Final Stage is waiting!
菅野仁志 Kanno up first. Arm Rings. OK. Kudari Lamp Grasper. Clip. I guess he needed another can of SASUKE Spray. Good rhythm. And OK! Looks a little shaky.
Devil Steps. This took out Miyazaki last time. Here he goes. At the turn. OK. NO problem! Rest time. Shin-Cliff Hanger. Here he goes. At the slant...Going for the jump. He'll make it. YES!
CMs
OK, his Shin-Cliff Hanger attempt was in a commercial (one of the commercials) so that shouldn't have been a surprise. But I guess since no one knew who he was, most probably dismissed it.
Back.
Shin-Cliff Hanger. Yes! Jumping Bar coming up. Lee Yen Chi looks on! His family is pumped! I'm sorry but this is the most excited I've seen a crowd in ages.
Jumping Bar. One. Two. Three. Four. Hang Climbing coming up. OK. OK. OK. Ikeru! Ikeru! Yes! Spider Flip coming up. Daijobu! Some time getting set.
WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
COURSE OUT!!!! NOO!!!!!! He was pretty much spent.
Once he put his legs on the bar, he was out. But hey, he's in the company of the All-Stars. And even surpassed Takeda.
Shoes. Shoes. Shoes. Shoes. Muscle Park. He lives with his mom! It's Urushihara Yuji! 漆原裕治!
UNCLI represent! Arm Rings. No problem. Hahaha. His UNCLI shirt has the kanji for shoes on the sleeve. He's the No. 3 Cliffer.
Kudari Lamp Grasper. OK! Devil Steps coming up. Good - really freaking fast - Devil Steps rhythm. Wow. Hey, that teenager is there. Shin-Cliff Hanger coming up. At the slant. YES! NO PROBLEM! Wow. He totally pwned that thing as the kids say.
Is our hero of the new age Urushihara Yuji? Lee Yen Chi? Okuyama Yoshiyuki?
Back.
He hits the Shin-Cliff Hanger like he went to some indoor amusement park and practiced it over a dozen times!
Rest as he gets ready for the Jumping Bars. One. Two. Three. Four! Hang Climbing coming up. I guess you can use it like a rock climb. Spider Flip coming up. Don't touch the poles man! He's up. Getting ready. Ikeru yo! Resting. Or praying. Hard to say. Getting ready again. He changed his shoes I think. Yeah, he has different shoes on. Only Nagano has passed this. Here he goes. YES! The jump is not the point. It's that you have to get down and get ready later. Gliding Ring! Wow. This is awesome. Here he goes. It glides! JUMP! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Final Stage here we come!
The SASUKE Park All-Stars and Ultimate Cliffers jump for joy as Katsumi Yamada looks on. Heh.
OK, see, this is the thing. Because Nagano did it for the All-Stars. Urushihara is doing it for a bigger, just as dedicated group of people. That's why this is so emotional.
Poor Lee Yen Chi and Okuyama Yoshiyuki don't have much time to do their thing.
JET has to be happy about this. Lee Yen Chi! リー・エンチ!
Arm Rings. Kudari Lamp Grasper. He looks more ripped than usual but can he do it? Does he have it in him? A bit hangy, as opposed to the other two. But he's through! Devil Steps. He'll rest and spray up here. Up. Yes. At the turn. Yes! This the big one. Shin-Cliff Hanger. Here he goes. At the slant. Whoa...OK. Here he goes. Wait...NO!
He wasn't set. Still, JET has to be happy. Let's give him a hand!
Replays.
He wants to do this again!
Okuyama! 奥山義行! We have about twenty minutes left and we know that someone is moving on. I'll be frank, it doesn't look good for Yoshiyuki.
Arm Rings are no problem. Can he make his children happy? Or will THEY GO HOME IN TEARS! Kudari Lamp Grasper. No problem! Yoshiyuki impresses me and then we go to commercials.
CMs
OK, it's those stupid Baby Cokes. Hurry up!
Back.
Kudari Lamp Grasper is no problem. Here comes the Devil Steps. Getting set. Up. Methodical. At the turn. And he's through!
Shin-Cliff Hanger...Everyone is waiting...At the slant...Here he goes. NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And the kids are surprised. The girl is on the verge of tears...stay on her! Stay on her! No. Darn it. Kuyashii node mata ganbarimasu!
It's like his real Olympic dream!
Urushihara Yuji is the first man to make the new Final Stage! And Mr. Yamada drops his two cents. Let's see...there wil be a montage and then what?
Rope Climb for 4. Spider Climb to Rope Climb for 17. But since then...no one. We don't even know what it is.
NEW FINAL STAGE!
COMMERCIALS!
Here's a theory: THE OTHER ALL-STARS HAD ENOUGH CLASS TO STAY AWAY AND LET SOMEONE ELSE TAKE THE STAGE. GO AWAY FOR NOW. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
The New FINAL STAGE: Heavenly Ladder to the G Rope. 45 seconds? Yeesh.
BUG IN MIKI footage. And then shots of him training at a playground. Can he be the third man to finish SASUKE?
Woooooo..Okuyama is PIMPING in that jacket.
I've never liveblogged a Final Stage before. It's uncharted territory for everyone!
Jeez. That's high.
ONE MAN LEFT STANDING. He is URUSHIHARA YUJI. 漆原裕治!
And he has the support of the STQers. The Unlimited Cliffers. The SASUKE Park All-Stars. If he does it. It's for them.
Here we go!
Up the Heavenly Ladder.
10 M mark.
CMs
Of course.
Don't complain. You knew it was coming.
Back.
Here he goes. Heavenly Ladder. At the 10 Meter mark. At the G Rope! GO MAN GO!
19
18
17
16
15
14
13
12
Time is going red! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
SO CLOSE!
Damn.
To tell the truth, I thought going in he was going to make it.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. The only thing I can do is laugh.
That is awesome. TBS led me on and got me thinking someone was going to finish tonight.
You know what? Whatever. We just saw a "new hero" born. A dark horse whose group seemed to bring a lot more energy to the later stages than the last few shows.
Is this the turning point? This isn't like 20 when Levi was the last man standing and the All-Stars crapped out. Naturally, this is better if only for the number of people moving on. This isn't even like the All-Stars return to form in 21. Sure it was emotional but this was fresher. Different. It wasn't just because of a new group of faces. Only Kanno was going through his first try at SASUKE. And yet, it didn't suffer at all with the lack of All-Stars. TBS and Monster 9 have been looking for their new stars and really, I've never understood why they've never given Urushihara's group more chances. They have to know who they are. They know that they are at the Trials. That they send in letters and videos. That they are at Muscle Park. And now one of them has gone farther than anyone else in the last five shows. They are the future of SASUKE if it wants to stay alive in Japan. Give them a chance Monster 9.
As far as this SASUKE was concerned it was STQers that stole the show from the All-Stars and maybe that's how it's going to be from now on.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
新 SASUKE 秋! The Sort of Live Blog! American Ninja Warriors and SASUKE All-Stars oh my!
Update: Japan Probe has some clips of the competition up here.
It's the Shin-SASUKE Fall 2007 sort of live blog! What did we learn from the last two live blogs I did? One lesson is that I need to do a bit more research before the blog because it was hell trying to figure out what was what. We've got a bit of inside info from the Bengoshi SASUKE~! so I have some idea of how the first stage is laid out. Hope you don't get edited out Bengoshi! Oh, and the other lesson I learned is don't hold down the shift button too long or stuff will happen to your keyboard.
Here we go!
Y'know, TBS gives a lot away during the opening credits. Way to build suspense guys.
No race this year. Perhaps it took too long? First Ninja Warriors sighting! Paul ANTHONY Terek! Nagasaki brothers!
Version up!
1 - Suidokyoku (Water Works) guy! He's stretching! The Sextuple Steps is back because apparently too many people got hurt on the Rope Glider. Log Grip and Pole Maze are no problem. Jumping Spider is!
2 - Yamashita something something! He can tear a comic book! And not one of those twenty page American ones. It doesn't help! He falls on the Log Grip.
6 - He's from Ghana! He's a model! Log Grip! No! He falls Ghanian butt first into the water.
8 - The son of a Yokozuna! Kitano something or other. I'm bad with the names this year. Log Grip! Your father should disown you!!!!
9 - Choshu Korikki! His number is falling off. He takes a GIANT fall off the steps into the water! Let's see that again.
Next guy has no number. He's some sort of doctor? He's got nurse supporters! Log Grip! Okay! Pole Maze! No! The pole hit a bar and he went flying off!
Next guy is a weight lifter! He smashes an apple! IT DOESN'T HELP! He falls into the water.
Next up is a female beach football player! She's 30 (her age, not number). Steps are okay! Log Grip is up next! FUMBLE! Or she fell off. Take your pick.
Capoeira (or however you spell it) guy! NO! He lets down all his students! He then dances himself into the mud. He was number 27 btw.
Next up! Lance Tapend! Or whatever! He teaches at an international school! He's got students there. That's never a good sign. Up to the Pole Maze! Some problems but he's through. Jumping Spider! Airball! He got up into the air but never connected. His students are shocked! But no crying. Darn. He was number 28.
Digest time! A masked wrestler, female futsal player, comedian, some guy named TATSUJI! and some other guy hit the water. The wrestler was Flying Kid something something.
30 is the Guitar Samurai! Yamaguchi-ken represent! Steps are okay! Log Grip! And much like Abe Shinzo, he lets Yamaguchi down.
We skip ahead annnnnnnd...
42 is the BENGOSHI SASUKE! He's wearing a suit! And has a sign! He's off! Log Grip...no problem! Pole Maze! OKAY! Jumping Spider....he's up..NO!. Good try though Lenny! Give us more inside info next time!
Next is that really creepy guy that makes the models. He usually goes a step and then falls! PERSONAL BEST! He makes it two steps before hitting the water.
OCTOPUS GUY! Heh, there's an octopus waiting for him on the red button. He here goes! We have 115 seconds for the first stage by the way. Steps! OK! Log Grip! OK! Pole Maze coming up. WHOA! WAIT! He's still on the pole. He's trying to go back to get his balance. OK! One more try? He's trying to get his balance. Cut to the last ten seconds and he's still on the pole. Time up! The octopus is lonely.
Next is the glider guy (where are the numbers?). He's stuck between the last two steps! He tries to jump for it! NO! Heh. Some dude in a red shirt thinks that was HILARIOUS.
More digest time!
Some guy, a trucker, some comedian, a guy wearing a gymnastics uniform all strike out.
43 - Minami Yoshihiro! He's a stunt man! He's been on Mito Komon! Steps and Log Grip are no problem! Pole Maze! OKAY! Jumping Spider....whoa! He was stuck and then bounced back and flipped on the platform! SASUGA ACTION HAIYU! He's the first to the new area! The Half-Pipe Attack! NO! So the Half-Pipe Attack is a curved wall off which you must jump and grab a rope. He didn't quite have his footing.
The veterans are a bit concerned.
47 - Is Matsuda something or other! He qualified via Muscle Park! Man, I need to go there. He has a sash! Steps and Log Grip are no problem. Pole Maze up. OK! Jumping Spider. He takes a breath. Yes! He's through. Half-Pipe...He's got the rope! NO!
Darn. He had potential.
48 - He...umm..he's having wardrobe problems. He can't get his pants over his shoes! He's going for it anyway! First step and no! He still has his pants around his ankles as he comes out of the water. Let's see that again! Wow, lesson to be learned by everyone. Wear a costume that comes off easily. That'll be hard to live down at the office. Hey, someone else was in the water too? Heh. A camera man wiped out as it was happening. Someone at TBS has a sense of humour as a kind of Benny Hill music is playing in the background.
As he walks away his pants are still around his ankles.
Fifty have tried! Fifty have failed!
51 - Is G4 Ninja Warrior Bret Simms! He practiced with the All-Stars at Shiratori's place! CMs.
We're back!
Steps and Log Grip are no problem. Pole Maze! OK! Jumping Spider! Here he goes! He's UP!
Ninja WARRRRIOR!
He couldn't keep his grip.
OH MY GOD!
His free G4 t-shirt got wet! But he really enjoyed it!
55 - Misaki something! He's a teacher. His students have been on SASUKE JUNIOR! He's off. Steps. Log Grip. Pole Maze. Jumping Spider. He had some trouble with this in his video. Here he goes! HEAD FIRST INTO THE WATER! Way to go, teach!
Next up is reaction geinojin Degawa! He gets the spray from Mister SASUKE! That's an automatic fail. LOG GRIP! NO! Why'd he take his shirt off before that? He wasn't very serious about the whole thing.
57 - He's a university student who wants to be a pro boxer! Steps, Log Grip and Pole Maze are no problem! Jumping Spider! Yes! He has potential. Can he do it? Half Pipe! Yes! He's up to the Wall! First chance! Yes! Flying Chute! Yes! Tobimashita! Time is precious though! D'oh! CMs.
Rich donuts! So where do the poor donuts go?
Suzy and Mark? Huh?
We're back! Jikan ga nai! Rope Ladder! Will he be...NO! TIME-UP!
The All-Stars are worried!
0 for 70!
71 - He's 15! He'll be the coolest kid in school if he makes it! Man, where do people find the space and time to make the obstacles in their homes? Steps and Log Grip are okay! Pole Maze! He's stuck! He can't get it! He's too light I think. Wait! Okay! He either doesn't have the strength or the weight to move the bar. Finally! Jumping Spider! Yes! Can he do it? It will be close. Half-Pipppp...He slips!
77 - Nagasaki Takamasa! Will he be the first! He says he'll be the first like last time! Steps and Log Grip are no problem! Pole Maze! Jumping Spider! Sugoi speed! Half- Pipe Attack is no problem! He's up to the wall but then I get a commercial for 7-11!
We're back! First chance..no! Second. No! Third! Yes! Flying Chute! NO!!!!!!!! He missed the rope! I guess he was wrong. Nagasaki brothers! Shunsuke is worried.
79 - 3% body fat Yamada Koji! Steps and Log Grip are no problem. Pole Maze! OK! Jumping Spider! YES! Orange pants! Half-Pipe Attack! NO PROBLEM! The Wall is up! First try! Flying Chute! YES! WAIT! He can't reach the ladder! YES HE DOES! IS HE GOING TO DO IT! 18 seconds left. Rope ladder! Ten seconds! YES! With four seconds left! After 79 people we get our first through!
The rope must be a bit farther away from the ladder on the Flying Chute or something.
81 - Our first All-Star! Yamamoto Shingo! Steps and Log Grip are no problem. Pole Maze! Whoa! Abunai! He takes a second chance at it. He's through. Jumping Spider. Yes! NO! He got into the space and then couldn't hold it.
Yamamoto Shingo masaka!
82 - Our next All-Star! Shiratori Bunpei! He builds! He's added a Salmon Ladder to his set. Nagano gives him encouragement! 1 for 81 so far! Here he goes! Steps, Log Grip are okay! Some problem with the Pole Maze but he's through. Jumping Spider! YES! Half-Pipe Attack! Yes! Here come the Wall! No! Once more! No! Less than 30 seconds! He looks tired! Yes! He's got it but he's tired! Time is running out! Flying Chute! Time UP! Just as he hits the rope! Oy vey.
The All-Stars are worried.
He drops himself into the water.
84 - Takahashi Kenji! He reached the third stage last time. As I said then, he's unhandsome. I'm no model but...anyway, Steps and Log Grip are okay! Pole Maze! OKAY! Jumping Spider! Ye..NO! His left leg wasn't up in time. You have to get your body just right.
More people don't make it. Four to be exact.
86 - Motor-cross rider Washimi Yuuji! He didn't get past the Salmon Ladder last time. It's time for revenge! Steps and Log Grip are no problem. Pole Maze...OK. Jumping Spider! OK! Half-Pipe Attack! OK! A kyu rider! Wall! FIRST TRY! Lots of time left! Flying Chute! YES! Can he make it two? Rope Ladder! He's up! Time is going red! YES! 3.2 seconds left! WE HAVE TWO!
87 - American's Colin Bell! The G4 winner! Steps are fine! Log Grip and Pole Maze no problem! Jumping Spider!
NINJA WARRIOR!
COLIN BEEEEEEEEERU!
Wow, I think the G4 Ninja Warrior forum members will not be very happy.
I wish I could have practiced the Jumping Spider more!
91 - Here we go! Mister SASUKE! Yamada Katsumi! Jinsei SASUKE!
Before he starts let us re-live his recent past failures.
Only two of the ninety. Can he do it? If he falls on the steps I don't know if I'll be able to complete this live blog.
Here he goes! Whoa! He did stumble a bit there. Log Grip! CMs.
September 23rd. Doors! It's a kind of obstacle course for geinojin. I believe they are in teams of four? Anyway, it's not nearly as phsyically taxing as SASUKE.
We're back! First two obstacles again. Pole Maze! Problems! He has to try again. He's limping! Second try. He's stuck! Time is running out! He's smiling! At HIS OWN FAILURE! Twenty seconds left and he's finally on to the Jumping Spider.
YAMADA KATSUMIIIIIIII! That wasn't quite as satisfying since you knew he wasn't going to finish the first stage anyway. That was, I have to say, a new low point in the career of Mister SASUKE.
Three All-Stars! Three failures!
Takeda! You're up! He's been practicing the Salmon Ladder.
96 - Takeda! He's off! He's got rhythmic clapping! Steps, Log Grip no problem! The Pole Maze! He takes two tries to get it. Jumping SPIDER! Tonda! Tonda! His pants are orange! Half-Pipe Attack! Clear! The wall! NO! Second time. NO! Third! NO! Saigo no chance! NO! Twenty seconds! He's got it! But the time has gone red!
MASAKA! Wow.
Four All-Stars! Four failures.
What's going on?
97 - Nagasaki Shunsuke! Steps! Okay. His brother is looking on! Log Grip and Pole Maze are no problems. Jumping Spider! The crowd ooohs! Sasuga trampoline players! Half-Pipe Attack! No problem. Wall is no problem! Flying Chute! Whoa! Abunai!
NANDE!
Wow. Again.
CMs. Freedom-project.jp
We're back. He missed the rope ladder to climb down. Wow. And we thought KUNOICHI was hard this year.
Nagasaki Brothers fall victim to the Flying Chute.
97 participants. 2 have cleared.
98 - PAUL! ANTHONY! TEREK! He's your Sportsman No. 1 in case you didn't know. He's off! King of Athletes! Pole Maze is NO PROBLEM! Cool. Jumping Spider! AHHHHHHHHH!
His foot slipped. His left foot didn't land cleanly and it cost him.
99 - Sato Hiromichi. He's the host of Muscle Channel. His son is there. As we all know, that's never a good sign. Only two people left! CMs.
Unilever! If you're old, they'll help your hair. Proage!
We're back! Whoa! Not the cleanest of starts. Log Grip. D'oh! His son is very confused. Log Grip masaka retire!
Man, this first stage is a KILLER. Well, at least he can always practice at Muscle Park. Note that the first stage is the part that people rarely put together some elaborate course for (aside from Bunpei). Nor are you able to practice for it at Muscle Park.
100 - Nagano Makoto! The pressure is on him! He carries the weight of the All-Stars on his shoulders. Can he do it! He's off! Steps. Log Grip. Pole Maze. Jumping Spider coming up. No problem. Half-Pipe Attack. The Wall is no problem. Flying Chute coming up! CMs!
We're back! Flying Chute!
DOOOOUUUUUUSSSSSSSHHHHHHIIIIIIITTTTAAAA!!
UUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Five All-Stars. Five failures. Wow.
2nd Stage.
80 seconds to complete. There's one new area, the Skywalk.
Yamada is up first. Diving Jump is no problem. Salmon Ladder. CMs.
KUNOICHI only had four make the Second Stage and only one person made it to the Third Stage. Will anyone even make the Third Stage this time?
We're back. Uh oh. OKAY! Back on track. Last step of the ladder. Time is running out! Masaka Yamada! The time is going red! TIME-UP! His children are suitably shocked. One misplacement of the bar just threw off his rhythm.
And then there was one.
Motor-cross rider Yuji is last. Here he goes! He's up to the Salmon Ladder. He carries everyone's hopes on his shoulders. He's up to the last step! No! One more try. No! Time is running out! He has to go for it! NO!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.
98 victims in the first stage, including all five All-Stars, the American Ninjas and Paul ANTHONY Terek.
2 victims in the second stage, both to the Salmon Ladder.
The course, quite frankly, kicked everyone in the head.
Good.
This is what the Spring SASUKE should have been like. The course should have been too hard (as opposed to too dangerous). Enough people reached the 2nd and 3rd stages to give everyone (the competitors and the fans) a kind of false hope that reaching the final was not that far away. This brings everyone (including the All-Stars) back down to earth. Will some people get discouraged? Of course they will. But those who really want to compete will come back with more fire next time. That should make the next competition very very interesting to watch.
Oh, and in the long run the Ninja Warrior guys did not do all that bad considering the overall rate of success and it would be a shame if G4 didn't give them another crack at it.
See everyone for the next competition!
It's the Shin-SASUKE Fall 2007 sort of live blog! What did we learn from the last two live blogs I did? One lesson is that I need to do a bit more research before the blog because it was hell trying to figure out what was what. We've got a bit of inside info from the Bengoshi SASUKE~! so I have some idea of how the first stage is laid out. Hope you don't get edited out Bengoshi! Oh, and the other lesson I learned is don't hold down the shift button too long or stuff will happen to your keyboard.
Here we go!
Y'know, TBS gives a lot away during the opening credits. Way to build suspense guys.
No race this year. Perhaps it took too long? First Ninja Warriors sighting! Paul ANTHONY Terek! Nagasaki brothers!
Version up!
1 - Suidokyoku (Water Works) guy! He's stretching! The Sextuple Steps is back because apparently too many people got hurt on the Rope Glider. Log Grip and Pole Maze are no problem. Jumping Spider is!
2 - Yamashita something something! He can tear a comic book! And not one of those twenty page American ones. It doesn't help! He falls on the Log Grip.
6 - He's from Ghana! He's a model! Log Grip! No! He falls Ghanian butt first into the water.
8 - The son of a Yokozuna! Kitano something or other. I'm bad with the names this year. Log Grip! Your father should disown you!!!!
9 - Choshu Korikki! His number is falling off. He takes a GIANT fall off the steps into the water! Let's see that again.
Next guy has no number. He's some sort of doctor? He's got nurse supporters! Log Grip! Okay! Pole Maze! No! The pole hit a bar and he went flying off!
Next guy is a weight lifter! He smashes an apple! IT DOESN'T HELP! He falls into the water.
Next up is a female beach football player! She's 30 (her age, not number). Steps are okay! Log Grip is up next! FUMBLE! Or she fell off. Take your pick.
Capoeira (or however you spell it) guy! NO! He lets down all his students! He then dances himself into the mud. He was number 27 btw.
Next up! Lance Tapend! Or whatever! He teaches at an international school! He's got students there. That's never a good sign. Up to the Pole Maze! Some problems but he's through. Jumping Spider! Airball! He got up into the air but never connected. His students are shocked! But no crying. Darn. He was number 28.
Digest time! A masked wrestler, female futsal player, comedian, some guy named TATSUJI! and some other guy hit the water. The wrestler was Flying Kid something something.
30 is the Guitar Samurai! Yamaguchi-ken represent! Steps are okay! Log Grip! And much like Abe Shinzo, he lets Yamaguchi down.
We skip ahead annnnnnnd...
42 is the BENGOSHI SASUKE! He's wearing a suit! And has a sign! He's off! Log Grip...no problem! Pole Maze! OKAY! Jumping Spider....he's up..NO!. Good try though Lenny! Give us more inside info next time!
Next is that really creepy guy that makes the models. He usually goes a step and then falls! PERSONAL BEST! He makes it two steps before hitting the water.
OCTOPUS GUY! Heh, there's an octopus waiting for him on the red button. He here goes! We have 115 seconds for the first stage by the way. Steps! OK! Log Grip! OK! Pole Maze coming up. WHOA! WAIT! He's still on the pole. He's trying to go back to get his balance. OK! One more try? He's trying to get his balance. Cut to the last ten seconds and he's still on the pole. Time up! The octopus is lonely.
Next is the glider guy (where are the numbers?). He's stuck between the last two steps! He tries to jump for it! NO! Heh. Some dude in a red shirt thinks that was HILARIOUS.
More digest time!
Some guy, a trucker, some comedian, a guy wearing a gymnastics uniform all strike out.
43 - Minami Yoshihiro! He's a stunt man! He's been on Mito Komon! Steps and Log Grip are no problem! Pole Maze! OKAY! Jumping Spider....whoa! He was stuck and then bounced back and flipped on the platform! SASUGA ACTION HAIYU! He's the first to the new area! The Half-Pipe Attack! NO! So the Half-Pipe Attack is a curved wall off which you must jump and grab a rope. He didn't quite have his footing.
The veterans are a bit concerned.
47 - Is Matsuda something or other! He qualified via Muscle Park! Man, I need to go there. He has a sash! Steps and Log Grip are no problem. Pole Maze up. OK! Jumping Spider. He takes a breath. Yes! He's through. Half-Pipe...He's got the rope! NO!
Darn. He had potential.
48 - He...umm..he's having wardrobe problems. He can't get his pants over his shoes! He's going for it anyway! First step and no! He still has his pants around his ankles as he comes out of the water. Let's see that again! Wow, lesson to be learned by everyone. Wear a costume that comes off easily. That'll be hard to live down at the office. Hey, someone else was in the water too? Heh. A camera man wiped out as it was happening. Someone at TBS has a sense of humour as a kind of Benny Hill music is playing in the background.
As he walks away his pants are still around his ankles.
Fifty have tried! Fifty have failed!
51 - Is G4 Ninja Warrior Bret Simms! He practiced with the All-Stars at Shiratori's place! CMs.
We're back!
Steps and Log Grip are no problem. Pole Maze! OK! Jumping Spider! Here he goes! He's UP!
Ninja WARRRRIOR!
He couldn't keep his grip.
OH MY GOD!
His free G4 t-shirt got wet! But he really enjoyed it!
55 - Misaki something! He's a teacher. His students have been on SASUKE JUNIOR! He's off. Steps. Log Grip. Pole Maze. Jumping Spider. He had some trouble with this in his video. Here he goes! HEAD FIRST INTO THE WATER! Way to go, teach!
Next up is reaction geinojin Degawa! He gets the spray from Mister SASUKE! That's an automatic fail. LOG GRIP! NO! Why'd he take his shirt off before that? He wasn't very serious about the whole thing.
57 - He's a university student who wants to be a pro boxer! Steps, Log Grip and Pole Maze are no problem! Jumping Spider! Yes! He has potential. Can he do it? Half Pipe! Yes! He's up to the Wall! First chance! Yes! Flying Chute! Yes! Tobimashita! Time is precious though! D'oh! CMs.
Rich donuts! So where do the poor donuts go?
Suzy and Mark? Huh?
We're back! Jikan ga nai! Rope Ladder! Will he be...NO! TIME-UP!
The All-Stars are worried!
0 for 70!
71 - He's 15! He'll be the coolest kid in school if he makes it! Man, where do people find the space and time to make the obstacles in their homes? Steps and Log Grip are okay! Pole Maze! He's stuck! He can't get it! He's too light I think. Wait! Okay! He either doesn't have the strength or the weight to move the bar. Finally! Jumping Spider! Yes! Can he do it? It will be close. Half-Pipppp...He slips!
77 - Nagasaki Takamasa! Will he be the first! He says he'll be the first like last time! Steps and Log Grip are no problem! Pole Maze! Jumping Spider! Sugoi speed! Half- Pipe Attack is no problem! He's up to the wall but then I get a commercial for 7-11!
We're back! First chance..no! Second. No! Third! Yes! Flying Chute! NO!!!!!!!! He missed the rope! I guess he was wrong. Nagasaki brothers! Shunsuke is worried.
79 - 3% body fat Yamada Koji! Steps and Log Grip are no problem. Pole Maze! OK! Jumping Spider! YES! Orange pants! Half-Pipe Attack! NO PROBLEM! The Wall is up! First try! Flying Chute! YES! WAIT! He can't reach the ladder! YES HE DOES! IS HE GOING TO DO IT! 18 seconds left. Rope ladder! Ten seconds! YES! With four seconds left! After 79 people we get our first through!
The rope must be a bit farther away from the ladder on the Flying Chute or something.
81 - Our first All-Star! Yamamoto Shingo! Steps and Log Grip are no problem. Pole Maze! Whoa! Abunai! He takes a second chance at it. He's through. Jumping Spider. Yes! NO! He got into the space and then couldn't hold it.
Yamamoto Shingo masaka!
82 - Our next All-Star! Shiratori Bunpei! He builds! He's added a Salmon Ladder to his set. Nagano gives him encouragement! 1 for 81 so far! Here he goes! Steps, Log Grip are okay! Some problem with the Pole Maze but he's through. Jumping Spider! YES! Half-Pipe Attack! Yes! Here come the Wall! No! Once more! No! Less than 30 seconds! He looks tired! Yes! He's got it but he's tired! Time is running out! Flying Chute! Time UP! Just as he hits the rope! Oy vey.
The All-Stars are worried.
He drops himself into the water.
84 - Takahashi Kenji! He reached the third stage last time. As I said then, he's unhandsome. I'm no model but...anyway, Steps and Log Grip are okay! Pole Maze! OKAY! Jumping Spider! Ye..NO! His left leg wasn't up in time. You have to get your body just right.
More people don't make it. Four to be exact.
86 - Motor-cross rider Washimi Yuuji! He didn't get past the Salmon Ladder last time. It's time for revenge! Steps and Log Grip are no problem. Pole Maze...OK. Jumping Spider! OK! Half-Pipe Attack! OK! A kyu rider! Wall! FIRST TRY! Lots of time left! Flying Chute! YES! Can he make it two? Rope Ladder! He's up! Time is going red! YES! 3.2 seconds left! WE HAVE TWO!
87 - American's Colin Bell! The G4 winner! Steps are fine! Log Grip and Pole Maze no problem! Jumping Spider!
NINJA WARRIOR!
COLIN BEEEEEEEEERU!
Wow, I think the G4 Ninja Warrior forum members will not be very happy.
I wish I could have practiced the Jumping Spider more!
91 - Here we go! Mister SASUKE! Yamada Katsumi! Jinsei SASUKE!
Before he starts let us re-live his recent past failures.
Only two of the ninety. Can he do it? If he falls on the steps I don't know if I'll be able to complete this live blog.
Here he goes! Whoa! He did stumble a bit there. Log Grip! CMs.
September 23rd. Doors! It's a kind of obstacle course for geinojin. I believe they are in teams of four? Anyway, it's not nearly as phsyically taxing as SASUKE.
We're back! First two obstacles again. Pole Maze! Problems! He has to try again. He's limping! Second try. He's stuck! Time is running out! He's smiling! At HIS OWN FAILURE! Twenty seconds left and he's finally on to the Jumping Spider.
YAMADA KATSUMIIIIIIII! That wasn't quite as satisfying since you knew he wasn't going to finish the first stage anyway. That was, I have to say, a new low point in the career of Mister SASUKE.
Three All-Stars! Three failures!
Takeda! You're up! He's been practicing the Salmon Ladder.
96 - Takeda! He's off! He's got rhythmic clapping! Steps, Log Grip no problem! The Pole Maze! He takes two tries to get it. Jumping SPIDER! Tonda! Tonda! His pants are orange! Half-Pipe Attack! Clear! The wall! NO! Second time. NO! Third! NO! Saigo no chance! NO! Twenty seconds! He's got it! But the time has gone red!
MASAKA! Wow.
Four All-Stars! Four failures.
What's going on?
97 - Nagasaki Shunsuke! Steps! Okay. His brother is looking on! Log Grip and Pole Maze are no problems. Jumping Spider! The crowd ooohs! Sasuga trampoline players! Half-Pipe Attack! No problem. Wall is no problem! Flying Chute! Whoa! Abunai!
NANDE!
Wow. Again.
CMs. Freedom-project.jp
We're back. He missed the rope ladder to climb down. Wow. And we thought KUNOICHI was hard this year.
Nagasaki Brothers fall victim to the Flying Chute.
97 participants. 2 have cleared.
98 - PAUL! ANTHONY! TEREK! He's your Sportsman No. 1 in case you didn't know. He's off! King of Athletes! Pole Maze is NO PROBLEM! Cool. Jumping Spider! AHHHHHHHHH!
His foot slipped. His left foot didn't land cleanly and it cost him.
99 - Sato Hiromichi. He's the host of Muscle Channel. His son is there. As we all know, that's never a good sign. Only two people left! CMs.
Unilever! If you're old, they'll help your hair. Proage!
We're back! Whoa! Not the cleanest of starts. Log Grip. D'oh! His son is very confused. Log Grip masaka retire!
Man, this first stage is a KILLER. Well, at least he can always practice at Muscle Park. Note that the first stage is the part that people rarely put together some elaborate course for (aside from Bunpei). Nor are you able to practice for it at Muscle Park.
100 - Nagano Makoto! The pressure is on him! He carries the weight of the All-Stars on his shoulders. Can he do it! He's off! Steps. Log Grip. Pole Maze. Jumping Spider coming up. No problem. Half-Pipe Attack. The Wall is no problem. Flying Chute coming up! CMs!
We're back! Flying Chute!
DOOOOUUUUUUSSSSSSSHHHHHHIIIIIIITTTTAAAA!!
UUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Five All-Stars. Five failures. Wow.
2nd Stage.
80 seconds to complete. There's one new area, the Skywalk.
Yamada is up first. Diving Jump is no problem. Salmon Ladder. CMs.
KUNOICHI only had four make the Second Stage and only one person made it to the Third Stage. Will anyone even make the Third Stage this time?
We're back. Uh oh. OKAY! Back on track. Last step of the ladder. Time is running out! Masaka Yamada! The time is going red! TIME-UP! His children are suitably shocked. One misplacement of the bar just threw off his rhythm.
And then there was one.
Motor-cross rider Yuji is last. Here he goes! He's up to the Salmon Ladder. He carries everyone's hopes on his shoulders. He's up to the last step! No! One more try. No! Time is running out! He has to go for it! NO!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.
98 victims in the first stage, including all five All-Stars, the American Ninjas and Paul ANTHONY Terek.
2 victims in the second stage, both to the Salmon Ladder.
The course, quite frankly, kicked everyone in the head.
Good.
This is what the Spring SASUKE should have been like. The course should have been too hard (as opposed to too dangerous). Enough people reached the 2nd and 3rd stages to give everyone (the competitors and the fans) a kind of false hope that reaching the final was not that far away. This brings everyone (including the All-Stars) back down to earth. Will some people get discouraged? Of course they will. But those who really want to compete will come back with more fire next time. That should make the next competition very very interesting to watch.
Oh, and in the long run the Ninja Warrior guys did not do all that bad considering the overall rate of success and it would be a shame if G4 didn't give them another crack at it.
See everyone for the next competition!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)