Wednesday, March 21, 2007

新 SASUKE 2007 春! The Sort of Live Blog! An account of a guy in Japan watching SASUKE/Ninja Warrior as it plays out on TV!

Rather than do this live blog in terms of time, I will be doing this blog first by stage then by contestant number with comments in between. I'll go beginning at the top and end at the bottom. I'll probably update during the commercial breaks.

Danger, Will Robinson! Everything from here on in will be spoilers for people watching SASUKE anywhere other than Japan.
SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER

Here we go!

Whoa, there is a race for the numbers! 1200 meters to get to the numbers. Some guy from his university's barbell club (?) is in the lead.
Random white guy sighting! It's the soldier from the G4 promo.
Ooops, barbell boy falls behind. Choshu Korikki is participating. He's almost dead last.
The first people grab numbers!
Shunsuke Nagasaki grabs a number.
Mister Sasuke gets 73.
Nagano gets 96.
Korikki gets 9.
Damn that was confusing.
A quick preview of the new course. Holy crap that looks hard.

1. A pro snowboarder is our first contestant. And he wipes out on the first obstacle! You have to ride a rope to a pontoon like thing. He overshot.

2. A comedian (Black Mayonaise)! He's short!

3. A Korean Comedienne. She's off and didn't get off the platform! She didn't hold on to the rope.

4. Aoki, the weird sculptor guy! He overshoots too!

9. Is Choshu Korikki. Did they skip some people? He's off! But his foot catches the water! He's not out! He's the first to make it to the second obstacle! The Log Grip! But he can't hold on!

10. The squid guy! Kuramochi? He's off and he can't keep his balance!

12. Nomura Masaki! He gets through the first part but can't hold on to the Log Grip!

13. Hang Glider guy! He can't hit the pontoon and goes face first into the water!

15. Weightlifter guy! Don't know him. He hits the first safely. (Rope Glider). He can't hold on to the Log Grip!

They skip some people who can't get through the Rope Glider and Log Grip.

20. Some guy with a nice body. He hits the first. The Log Grip! He's clear! The next up is the Pole Maze! He gets the first but can't hit the second! Well, he's the farthest so far.

21. A guy from Tokushima. He's got fans! He looks confident! Rope Glider no problem. Log Grip is scary but he's through. Pole Maze..NO!!!!

Man, this is hard with the new obstacles.

24. A 22 year old..University baseball player? Go team! Rope Glider! Yes! Log Grip! Yes! Pole Maze! Whoa! Yes! Yes! Jumping Spider! Noooooooooooooo!

Jumping Spider is the 2007 Jump Hang. Mister SASUKE sighting!

More flame outs. About four people don't get their full moment in the sun.

26. Lee Enchi! The Taiwanese rock climber! He's our first true hope to get through the first stage. Rope Glider! Yes! Log Grip! Yes! Pole Maze! Yes and....Whoa! Yes! Jumping Spider! Can he do it? NOOOOOOOOO!

Umm..Yeah it's harder than last year reporter lady.

28. A female MMA fighter! She overshoots!

30. Kampei! Can he do it? Doh...our first commercial break. My hands are getting tired.

So we have Rope Glider, Log Grip, Pole Maze and Jumping Spider.

We're back!

30. Is Kazama Kampei! Rope Glider! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Timing and balance are the key!

33. Athen Olympic Silver medalist cyclist! He's off! Rope Glider! Yes! Log Grip! No!!

34. Johns Jacap? An American living in Japan! He's through Rope Glider. Log Grip? No problem! Pole Maze! Yes! Jumping Spider! NO! His family is now sad.

36. Master of something! He almost wipes out on Rope Glider but gets through. But the Log Grip is his nemesis!

More clips of people who can't make it. Eigo no sensei!!!

39. TV actor guy! Ishimaru Kenjiro! He falls on his back on the Rope Glider and hits the water! Oshiiiii!

40. Guitar Samurai! Hatta Yoku! Yamaguchi-ken represent! His journey is cut short by a commercial! Here we go! No! Zannen! Rope Glider! Zannen!

Oops. One of the qualifier guys from last year! Rope Glider! Yes! Log Grip! Yes! Pole Maze! Yes! Jumping Spider! NOO! The END!

45. Yamashita Shinji! Rope Glider! Yes! Log Grip! Slowly...Yes! Pole Maze! Yes! Jumping Spider! He makes the jump! Bungee Bridge! He's from Hokkaido! Yes! Great Wall! First chance! No! Second! No! Third! No! He can't grab the rope! Time Up!

More guys wipe out! Masked Wrestler guy! NO!!!

48. Sports Instructor! Suzuki Naohiro! His try-out video! Kids are there! To be sad! Rope Glider! Whoa! Yes! Log Grip! Don't rush it! Yes! Pole Maze! Clear! Jumping Spider! He makes it! Bungee Bridge! Yes! Great Wall! Get that rope boy! No! Catches his breath. YES! First through the Great Wall! China is sad. Flying Shoot! Yes! Tarzan Rope! CM! Dammit.

So Rope Glider, Log Grip, Pole Maze, Jumping Spider, Bungee Bridge, Great Wall, Flying Shoot and Tarzan Rope.

We're back! Only ten seconds! Come on! NOOOOOOOO! Time UP! Children are sad! Told ya.

The SASUKE ALL-STARS! Look worried!

The first miss on the Great Wall may have cost him too much time.

So far, 48 and no one has cleared.

More failures. No bonus for you Salaryman!

52. Another Salaryman with a high opinion of himself. Rope Glider! Yes! Log Grip! Feel up that log! Pole Maze! He didn't hold on to the pole! No bonus for you!

54. A Cappoeira instructor. More children to be sad. Rope Glider. OK! Log Grip! No problem! Pole Maze! He's taking too long. It may cost him. As will that flip. Jumping Spider! He can't make the jump that counts!

More children are sad. SASUKE prepares kids for the real world!

56. Zoo guy! He has lots of free time at work! Rope Glider! It's night now. Log Grip! OK! Pole Maze and Jumping Spider are no problem! Bungee Bridge. OUCH! Ochimasen! Great Wall! No! Great Wall! China is sad. Flying Shoot! He needs to hurry. Thirty seconds left! OK! Tarzan Rope! Hurry up! Fourteen seconds. The alarm is going off. Hurry! NO! Time up! Children are sad sad sad.

60. Nagasaki Shunsuke's younger brother! Did he teach him the keys to success! Rope Glider! OK! Log Grip! It's a legacy! Pole Maze! Hayai! Jumping Spider! Sasuga trampoline star! Bungee Bridge. Nagasaki Brothers! Great Wall! China is VERY sad! He got it on the first try. Flying Shoot! Yes! Man, if you miss that you go flying. Tarzan Rope! Will he be the first! Thirty seconds left! He climbs! YES! With exactly 16 seconds left! THE FIRST!

Our first SASUKE All-Star!

61. Yamamoto Shingo! Does he have the gas to do it! HAHAHA! I kill me. Rope Glider! OK! Log Grip! Yes! Pole Maze! Safe! We can hear the others cheering him on. Jumping Spider! Yes! All-Stars! All-Stars! Bungee Bridge! OK! Great Wall! China is not sad! Wait! China IS sad! Flying Shoot! Yes! Go...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

He missed the net. He needs to clean his uniform!

More people wipe out.

70. Moto cross rider! Something Yuuji! A-kyu license! Rope Glider! OK! Log Grip! OK! Pole Maze! Yes!
Jumping Spider! Yes! Bungee Bridge! OK! Great Wall! China! Is! Sad! Flying Shoot up next. His crotch is on TV! Yes! Tarzan Rope! San jyu byo! Clap! Clap! Clap! Ten! Nine! Yes! 9.3 seconds left! Two are through!

2 out of 70!

72. Kawashima Takayuki! Trampoline guy! He has red hair. Rope Glider! OK! Log Grip! OK! Pole Maze! OY! He almost touches the water! But he's through. Jumping Spider! OK! But will he have enough time! Bungee Bridge trips him up but he's okay. Great Wall! He trips! Not his brightest mmoent. Is he tiring? China claims another victim.

73. HERE WE GO! Mister SASUKE! He's wearing NINJA BOOTS! Will they help! Can he do it? Yamada Katsumi! You're up on deck! Honestly, there's no shame in failing the first stage now because it's brand new. Not that I won't be pleased if he can't do it. OH BOY!
Rope Glider! Dammit! Yes!
Log Grip! YA-MA-DA! YA-MA-DA! No! I mean Yes!
Pole Maze! Oy vey! He's through!
Jumping Spider! There is no GOD! He's through.
Bungee Bridge. He's through!
Great Wall! DAMN YOU WALL! DAMN YOU! BE HIGHER NEXT TIME!

A commercial break enables me to calm down.

Although..hmm...Do I hate KimuTaku more than Mister SASUKE! Only a thorough thrashing of both will give me the answer.

WE'RE BACK! I'M IN ALL CAPS!

We have to relive Jumping Spider and Bungee Bridge.
Great Wall! He's *sigh* through.
Flying Shoot! Okay...is there enough time!
Tarzan Rope! Is time a factor! TIME! TIME UP! TIME UP! TIME UP! TIME UP! TIME UP! TIME UP!

Whew.

Ha! Stare at the button! Stare at it!

77. Crazy! Japanese! Military! Guy! If he gets through he'll be my favorite FOREVER.
Rope Glider! OK! Log Grip! NO! YOU'VE LET YOUR COUNTRY DOWN BOY! Lucky sevens mean beans!

78. Sato Hiromichi! NHK exercise program guy! Oh good, children. Commecial break! We're back. Rope Glider! OK! Log Grip! Whoa! OK! Pole Maze! OK! Jumping Spider! Tondaaa! Bungee Bridge! Through! Great Wall! China is..ah, you know. Flying Shoot. Damn, I want to see someone completely miss. AND HE DOES! SORRY ABOUT THAT!

(#! BOBBY NO OTOUTO! ROPE GLIDER! NO!

OK< I SCREWED UP MY KEYBOARD! ALL CAPS FOR RIGHT NOW!

MORE GUYS WIPE OUT!

TAKEDA TOSHIHIRO! I'M MISSING NUMBERS LEFT AND RIGHT! TAKEDA IKIMASU! ROPE GLIDER! OK! LOG GRIP AND POLE MAZE! NO PROBLEM! JUMPING SPIDER! OK! BUNGEE BRIDGE! MAN< THAT'S HARDER THAN IT LOOKS> GREAT WALL! OK! IKKAI! IKKAI! FLYING SHOOT! CAN THE ALL=STAR DO IT! COMMERCIAL! CAN I FIGURE OUT MY KEYBOARD?

FLYING SHOOT! CLEAR! THIRTY SECONDS! TARZAN ROPE! I'M STILL IN ALL CAPS! TA=KE=DA! TA=KE=DA! AND THEN THERE WERE THREE!

MORIMOTO! HE'S FIFTEEN! ROPE GLIDER! OK! LOG GRIP! OK! POLE MAZE! NO PROBLEM! JUMPING SPIDER! NO! HIS ARMS ARE TOO SHORT! MORIMOTOOOOOOOO!

)$> US ARMY GUY! ROPE GLIDER! OK! LOG GRIP! OK! POLE MAZE! OK! JUMPING SPIDER! NO! HIS FOOT SLIPPED! IT'S ALL GW'S FAULT!

ONLY THREE OF NINETY=FOUR!

)%> SHIRATORI BUNPEI! ROPE GLIDER! OK! JUST! LOG GRIP! OK! POLE MAZE! OK! JUMPING SPIDER! NAGANO IS WORRIED ABOUT THIS! OK! NO! HE SLIPPED! USO! NANDE! DOUSHITA SHIRATORI!

96. NAGANO MAKOTO! CAN HE DO IT! HE IS CHARACTERISTICALLY WORRIED! FIRST STAGE START! ROPE GLIDER! OKAY! LOG GRIP! NO PROBLEM! POLE MAZE! OK! JUMPING SPIDER! OKAY! BUNGEE BRIDGE! HE'S ON A RECORD PACE! GREAT WALL! CHINA FALLS AGAIN! FLYING SHOOT! BE CAREFUL! OK! TARZAN ROPE UP NEXT! NA=GA=NO! NO PROBLEM! "#>" SECONDS!

97. NAGASAKI SHUNSUKE! HIS BROTHER IS THROUGH! WILL HE FEEL THE PRESSURE! COMMERCIAL BREAK! ROPE GLIDER! OKAY! LOG GRIP! OK! POLE MAZE! NO PROBLEM! JUMPING SPIDER! TRAMPOLINE NAGASAKI! BUNGEE BRIDGE! OK! GREAT WALL! FIRST TRY AND CHINA IS NO MATCH FOR HIM! FLYING SHOOT! HE'S THROUGH! TARZAN ROPE! LOTS OF TIME LEFT! !'>( LEFT! SHUNSUKE IS THROUGH!

98. TAKAHASHI KENJI! HE'S FROM SAITAMA! ROPE GLIDER! OK! LOG GRIP! HE'S HOLDING ON! POLE MAZE! CLEAR! JUMPING SPIDER! WHOA! CAN HE HOLD ON? HE'S SHAKY> OKAY! EDIT TO THE FLYING SHOOT! EDIT TO THE END! HE'S CLEAR! THAT'S SIX!

NUMBER ONE HUNDRED! IYOIYO CLIMAX! ROPE GLIDER! DAIJOUBODA! LOG GRIP! SLOWLY! OK! POLE MAZE! NO! HE SPINS INTO THE WATER! AND THAT'S IT FOR THE FIRST STAGE!

STAGE TWO!
LOTS OF NEW STUFF HERE TOO> SIX MADE IT TO THE SECOND STAGE>

NAGASAKI'S YOUNGER BROTHER IS FIRST> LOOKS LIKE NINETY SECONDS TO CLEAR> THE SECOND OBSTACLE LOOKS HARD> AND IT IS! HE CAN'T MAKE IT! SALMON LADDER!

SORRY IF I HAVEN'T BEEN UPDATING> I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!

MOTOCROSS GUY IS NEXT! SALMON LADDER SEEMS TO BE THE BIG ONE HERE! NO! HE CAN'T GET IT>

TAKEDA IS NEXT! HE'S OFF! THE SALMON LADDER CONQUERED THE FIRST TWO> CAN HE DO IT? NANABANME! HE GOES FOR IT! NO! NO! HE'S OUT!

Okay, I had to reboot my computer to fix whatever was going on.

Nagano is next! He is the last hope of the SASUKE All-Stars! Can he do it! He's the almost there! Can he be the first to clear the Salmon Ladder? Yes! Net Bridge is up next! Okay! Metal Spin! Okay! I turned my head and he's through!

Nagano salvages the All-Stars pride.

Nagasaki is up next. Shunsuke! Commercial

Really sorry about what happened in the middle. No sense fixing it though. It's live!

We're back! Past the Salmon Ladder and Sliding Bar! Net Climb is up next! Metal Spin! Ita! It's the lift weights across a platform thing from VIKING! And that's two!

Takahashi Kenji, Mr. Edit, is next. Salmon Ladder! Can he join Nagano and Nagasaki? Whoa! Okay! Net Bridge! OK! Metal Spin! Itta! He's through! That's three in a row by the way.

Wow, he's um..unhandsome.

THIRD STAGE!

Whoa. The Cliff Hanger is different -- the middle part angles upward and then the third gets smaller as it reaches the end.

Can one of these men reach the final? Nagano! Nagasaki! Takahashi!

Nagano up first. Arm Ring is the same. Arm Bike is next (it was an old obstacle brought back). Curtain Swing is up next instead of the Curtain Climb. Through all four curtains. Is Nagano going to break the new SASUKE already? It's the new Cliff Hanger. He looks nervous. Not his deprecating nervous. Legit nervous. He's through the first two parts! Commercial!

March 30th! Geinojin Sportsman No. 1! I'm there!

We're back! WHOAAAAAAA! He almost doesn't make it! He's through to the next obstacle. NO! Controversey! He touched the non-grip part of the obstacle! That's against the rules! Nagano is a cheater! He's out! He's philosophical in defeat.

Nagasaki Shunsuke is up next. Arm Rings are no problem. He's a hottie! Arm Bike is no problem. Cutain Swing up. No problem. Cliff Hanger up next. Can he do it? There he goes. This is the part he really trains for as it's where he failed prior to the 17th competition. Commercial!

I need to download the new SASUKE for the keitai.

We're back. He's getting ready to go for it. Right hand is there! Gambare! Agh! No! It's the water for Shunsuke! Mata mo kowareta! The minor change is enough to get him.

And then there was one.

Takahashi is up next. Arm Rings are no problem. I believe this is his first SASUKE. Arm Bike is the same. Curtain Swing. He's an unproven commodity. Can he do it? I wasn't worried about Nagasaki and Nagano. He's through. He's the Dark Horse! It's Cliff Hanger time. Here we go. Help him Obi-Wan, he's our only hope. First two are no problem. Commercial.

Here we go. Gambare yo! NO! He tried to swing his whole body as opposed to Nagaski who went one hand at a time. Neither worked. Well, that's that. Just to rub it in, TBS shows us the unseen final obstacles (but not the final stage).

Well, that was fun! Trying to blog the first stage was hectic and well, the all caps thing didn't help because I couldn't update at the time. All in all it was a nice experience but I don't know if I have the stamina to do something like this again.

Until next time SASUKE lovers!

UPDATE! A guy in Japan has some low quality screen shots of famous people failing the first round here.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

U ARE AWSUME

pajkossy said...

That was awesome!
Thank you so much - I watched the video of Nagano, but since I don't speak Japanese I couldn't tell if he got away with the cliffhanger move or not.
I think the gap is too big before that last ledge, I don't know how anoyone's gonna get across that.

Teresa said...

Your Blog is great. I loved the play by play.

Anonymous said...

um,where do you go to get to mount midoryama?I know that its a fictional
place,but,they have to film somewhere,right?please respond with the location and age limit(adult is what i'm aiming for but childrens works too,im only 12) :)


thank's

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