Sunday, March 26, 2017

SASUKE 33 SASUKE 2017 Liveblog!

Well, didn't really expect this to be around this time but here we are. It's the SASUKE 33 Liveblog!

This is the 20th year of the show so we get the return of Mr. SASUKE and...well, not much else, really. Good for him, I guess.

Because someone wanted to play with a 360 cam view, we know that the 1st Stage is as follows:

Rolling Hill
Fishbone (new! imported over from KUNOICHI!)
Double Pendulum
Soritatsu Kabe
Tarzan Rope
Lumberjack Climb

SASUKE 33! 90% not celebrity!

 Here we go! And let's start with..

No. 1 Nakayama Kinnikun! And he's through the Quadsteps! Slowly down the Rolling Hill. And he gets it! Tie-Figter next. No problem! Fishbone next. And..he almost lost it but he's through! Double Pendulum. Swinging. Swinging. And NO! Tried to grab with his legs! 

No. 3 Katsuhide Torisawa is strong! But he blows up as usual and he's done!

SASUKE 1997! 165 countries! 18 versions! Lots of people failing that some sleuths will figure out later!

And now let's get the title logo! And a commercial.


Here are our hosts, er...Taka and Toshi? I forget. Not really important. Is that Nobuhiko Takada? Mao Asada's sister.

And there's Makoto Nagano in the booth!

No. 8 Satoshi Matsuzawa works for NTT! And he's through the Quadsteps. 128 seconds to clear. Rolling Hill...almost didn't get it! Tie-Fighter...shacho gomennasai! He can't hold on!

No. 9 Syo Terazawa! He works in a sushi restaurant! All the way up to the Fishbone! But no!

The champ, Yusuke Morimoto gives advice to...

No. 13 Kotaro Taniguchi! He's a middle school student like Yusuke was when he started. Rolling Hill. Slowly. And he's through! Tie-Fighter. Sasuke Spray. He can't hold on and the Tie-Fighter leaves without him! Darn. But hey, he has a SASUKE 20th Anniversary Shirt.

Let's fastforward to No. 21. Though he hits the water soon!

28. Syu Yamada! Quadsteps. Rolling Hill...too fast!

Time to take a look at Katsumi Yamada and his Black Tigers. He and two others are participating this time around. Commercials.


No. 31 Hiroshige Yamamoto! Almost cleared last time! Already up to the Tie-Fighter as Yamada runs along giving advice and encouragement. NO! SEGA! Kore ne.

No. 32 Satoshi Obata! And we ff to the Fishbone. And he's throught! But he missed the trampoline on the Double Pendulum! Shippai!

More of a bad jump than a miss.

No. 33 Katsumi Yamada. Looks like the failure of his Black Tigers is weighing on him. Drink as TBS shows the crying Yamada clip.

Here he goes! Goes fast through the first three steps and slows down on the fourth to get to the Rolling Hill. Slowly on the Rolling Hill. Got it. Tie-Fighter next. NO! He started either losing his grip or leaning back right at the end! He was well back of the Tie-Fighter.

Motainai desu says Makoto Nagano. Ouch. Yamada looks like he wants to go home right now.

No. 34 Yutaka Kan of Golden Bomber. There is Kenji Darvish on the stage with him. Can he redeem himself? Err....Quadsteps and out for Mr. Kan.

Darvish hams it up.

Kan is worried that he'll get edited out.

No. 35 Hikaru Yamamoto is a Johnny's Junior dancer (Snowman?). K. Anyway, here he goes. And he slips on the Steps. Oops. OK, new rule. Celebs can't bring their friends anymore.

Nos. 36 - 39 all experience SASUKE failure of some type!

No. 42 Amano Joji is up! Wait, Iketani got cut? Amano has come close in the past. Up to the Tie-Fighter. Yes! Fishbone. YES! Double Pendulum. One hands it! But gets the otherhand on! And just gets it! Epic. And he almost falls there too! Tackle. He has one shot at the Wall. But he looks blown up. C'mon Joji. No. One more time. NO! Time is going red soon. There it goes! NO!

No. 45 Masashi Hioki! Steps. Rolling Hill. Yes! Tie-Fighter is no problem. And he's through the Fishbone! Double Pendulum....One swing. One more. And he gets it! Tackle is next. Good pace. Doesn't need to rush. Almost a minute left. Gets set. No! One more time. Yes! He could be our first tonight! Ike! May need to hurry a bit. On the Climb. Time going red! And he's through!  That's one! Everyone goes nuts.

No. 46 - 51 are our female competitors (including one 2nd Stager from KUNOICHI!) but they can't clear unfortunately.

N0. 52 Seiki Takasui! Works with Makoto Nagano! Sort of. He's the son of the company Nagano works for. And he's up to the Fishbone as Nagano runs along. And Takeda. And he gets it! Double Pendulum next. Yes! Tackle coming up. Maybe one or two shots at the wall. Nagano recommends taking a break. First try! He is almost there! Tarzan Rope next. Needs to just be careful here. Yes! Lots of time next! Yes! He does Nagano proud! What a debut!

Nos. 55, 56, 60, 61, 66, 70, 71 all take a dip!

No. 77. Clears but we just see him at the start and end of the course. Good for him though!

No. 81 Takeru! He dragged his leg and wasted an opportunity last time. Can he make up for it this time around? Already up to the Fishbone while I was blathering. Double Pendulum. Swnging. And he gets it! Tackle. Slowing down but he still has time. Two shots at the wall at most. Getting set. And he gets it! Needs to be careful here.  And he's to the Climb! Almost there. And he does it!

Onscreen graphic is asking if there will be a clear rush?

No. 82 Kenji Darvish failed the Tie-Fighter last time. Can he also redeem himself? CMs first.

81 have tried! Four have cleared!

Here we go again with Kenji Darvish. Steps. Rolling Hill. He's moving with determination but still needs to be careful. Through the Tie-Fighter! Through the Fishbowl! Double Pendulum. Swinging. He gets it! Tackle next. Lots of time. Soritatsu Kabe. First try! Tarzan Rope. Almost there...NO! Oh wow. You rarely see that happen. He lost his grip right towards the end. Masaka! Masaka! As he reached for the pipe he lost his grip.



CMs before Wataru Mori.

No. 83 Wataru Mori! Let's see some Sports Danshi. Steps. Hill. Tie-Fighter. And through! Fishbone. And yes! Double Pendulum. Tobu! Swinging. And through! Tackle. A little behind the others in time but still enough time. Soritatsu Kabe. Getting set. YES! Tarzan Rope. Still has lots of time. Just be careful. Lumberjack Climb. Almost time. Going red soon. But he's got it! Wifey is in tears.

No. 85 Masayuki Kikuchi of the SRO also clears! Iketani is happy.

No. 86 Ryoichi Tsukuda is next! All right so far! Time for the Fishbone. Almost loses it at the end! Double Pendulum. And he gets it! Tackle. Making good time. Will he be the first Johnny's guy to clear SASUKE? Soritatsu Kabe. Getting set. First try! Tarzan Rope. Lumberjack Climb. Struggling but he gets it! That's 7!

Kiss! Kiss!

No. 87 Kenji Takahashi fails the Tie-Fighter! And 88. Ryo Matachi fails the Fishbone!

No. 89 Yuuji Urushihara! Oh my gosh! He fails the Rolling Hill of all places!

No. 90 Toshihiro Takeda! Steps. Through. Rolling Hill. Slowly. And he's through! Tie-Fighter next. Gets it! Fishbone. Yes! Double Pendulum coming up. Swinging. And gets it! Tackle next. Lots of time. Soritatsu Kabe. Getting set. Gets it! Oh wow! Tarzan Rope next. Yes! Yes!

90 have tried! 8 have passed!

91. Shingo Yamamoto! Steps. Oh OK. Yuuji landed on the bottom of the Rolling Hill which is just insta-death. Tie-Fighter. And he gets it! Fishbone. Everyone figures he'll fail here. But he doesn't! But he does miss the jump on the Double Pendulum!

No. 92 Hitoshi Kanno! NO! What are you doing man? He was losing his balance and tried to jump and missed!

And 93. Suzuki is out! And 94. Ragivalu! No! What is going on?

 No. 95 Kazuma Asa had a surprising fail last time on the Tie-Fighter. 

CMs first though.

Asa with a shirt rather than his usual written on kanji.

Rolling Hill. Tie-Fighter. And he's already up on points from last year. Took a while but he's through the Fishbone! And through the Double Pendulum. Tackle. Still has lots of time. Soritatsu Kabe on the first try! Tarzan Rope. Wow. Even with that wait on the Fishbone but he still cleared the 1st Stage with almost 30 seconds left.

No. 96 Drew Dreschel is through!

No. 97 Jun Sato is through too!

And No. 98 Shunsuke Nagasaki!

98 have tried! 12 have cleared! Two more are left.

99. Toshihiro Kawaguchi! Hayai! Rolling Hill. Tonda! Tie-Fighter. Through! Fishbone. Yes! Double Pendulum. NO! He landed too low on the sandbag. Was he rushing? Kuyashii honto ni.

Only one left!

100. Yusuke Morimoto. Steps. Rolling Hill. Slowly. And through! Tie-Fighter. Yes! Fishbone. NO..wait! Safe! Abunakatta! Double Pendulum. And he gets it! Tackle. Lost some time so maybe one shot at the wall. Soritatsu Kabe. And gets it! Tarzan Rope. 20 seconds left. Doesn't need to rush. SASUKE-kun goes on the 2nd Stage!

2nd Stage

Hioki first. Ring Slider is new. But he's through! Salmon Ladder. Now going down. Through. Spider Walk. Spider Drop. And he's through. Backstream. Needs to hurry. Time running out. He's through the Backstream. Reverse Conveyer. He slips! And time runs out!        

He thanks his kids but unfortunately, his night is over.

Seiji Takasui is next. Through the Ring Slider. Salmon Ladder. NO! And 77 goes out there too!

Takeru next. Uh-oh. He can't get the second ring over. Now he's got it but he lost time. And now he's having Salmon Ladder problems. And he falls! They are going fast and furious now!

Wataru Mori next. He's through the Ring Slider. Salmon Ladder. Done with up. Down now. And through! Spider Walk. Through! Backstream. He does triathlons so hopefully he can swim. He's through! Reverse Conveyer. He keeps slipping! NO!  Time up!

SRO's Kikuchi fails the Salmon Ladder!

Tsukada next.  Through the Ring Slider.!

7 have tried! None have cleared! Toshihiro Takeda is up next! After these CMs.

Back. Ring Slider. Salmon Ladder. Some problems at the top but through. On the down. NO! He slipped on the very last rung!

Five are left!

Kazuma Asa next. Ring Slider. Salmon Ladder. Up. Down. And through! Spider Walk. Spider Drop. And through! Backstream next. 50 seconds left. Almost there. And through! Reverse Conveyer. Yes! Wall Lifting but we need CMs apparently!

Back. Time is running out. 1st Wall. 2nd Wall. 3rd Wall. YES! He does it! Dude is pumped.

Drew is through!

And so is Jun Sato!

And Nagasaki!

Yusuke Morimoto is our final contestant! And he's through to the Spider Walk. Backstream. Yes! Reverse Conveyer. And through! Wall Lifting. And through! With the best time tonight!

3rd Stage

TBS does some self-promoting by moving a guy doing one of the evening dramas into the announce booth.


Asa up first. Drum Hopper. He got it! Flying Bar next. He takes his time getting ready. NO! He was getting ready for the next jump and moved the bar too much. He really wanted to get to the Crazy Cliff-Hanger.

Drew Dreschel up next! He's been getting digested but no getting around him now. Drum Hopper is no problem! Flying Bar next. Drew was last man standing at SASUKE 2016. Can he do it again? Up to the Sidewinder! One more to go! He's got it! Ultra Crazy Cliffhanger coming up. CMs.

Ad for KUNOICHI! Deadline to apply is May 31st!


Ultra Crazy Cliffhanger. At the jump. And he gets it! At the moving wall. NO! He missed it? Slipped? Damn.

Jun Sato up next. He failed the Cliff Hanger last time. And through!

Flying Bar. NO! He hit the landing pad with the bar (i.e. didn't get the bar high enough).

Shunsuke Nagasaki up next. Hey, he got married! Good for him. He wants to be a two-time finalist! Through the Drum Hopper. Flying Bar next. He failed here last time. NO! He overshot the next one!

Makoto Nagano gives Yusuke Morimoto some encouragement. CMs.

Yusuke Morimoto is our last hope to see a final stage but since there's like less than five minutes left, I don't think it's very likely.

Drum Hopper. Flying Bar next. NO! He really overshot that one.

Once again, Drew Drechsel is our last man standing but we end with a shot of SASUKE-kun.

I guess until KUNOICHI in the summer!       

 Storify time!