Sunday, October 08, 2017

SASUKE 34 SASUKE 2017秋 Liveblog!

Hey! We're back! Sorry, I wasn't at home the night of the last KUNOICHI and I never went back and blogged it. If anyone wants me to, I can go back and do it one day. And also, I got lazy and only tweeted the latest Battle of the Super Boyz Sports Danshi. The storified version of that is somewhere on the interwebs.

Let's start the 20th Anniversary of SASUKE with the Cyber Japan Dancers!

1st Stage

1. Karen. 123 seconds to clear. Quadsteps first. Slowly. And she actuall...oh wait. She hit the Rolling Hill and that was it. Takeru is a little too happy about that.

2. Takumi Ishida is a comedian!  Quad Steps. Into the Rolling Hill. Which is repainted. And he gets it! Tie Fighter. And he doesn't even get going! Hayai! Hey, they want you to watch the Niconico thing too while you are at it.


Oh hey. The actual opening.

Makoto Nagano is in the booth!

DDT pro wrestler Yuki Ueno is 6! He gets blur as his music. Through the steps and hill. And he loses it on the other side! Whoops!

13. Takihiro Takaiwa! Has a scary moment on the Hill! Slowly down the other side. He is an SDF member. Tie Fighter. None have cleared yet. And he's through! Red and blue color scheme this year. Fishbone. And he gets it! Double Pendulum..and he whiffs the jump!

16. Mikimasa Okamoto! Fight! Hey, check that drink for steroids. Slowly down the hill. Tie Fighter. Yes! Lots of time left. Fishbone! NO! He misses right at the end. Mottainai!

17. Masashi Matsumura! Slight problem going up the Rolling Hill but he's through! Other side. Tie Fighter. Yes! Fishbone. Yes! His wife claps! Double Pendulum. NO! He missed the bar!

18, 20, 21, 22 all hit the water!

26 have tried! None have passed!

27. Keiya Oishi! Will he be the first? No! Edit fakeout! He fails the Hill!

Up to 34. Minami Ono! Hey, while I was chatting he's already up the Tackle! Could he be our first? Soritatsu Kabe. First to make it (shown anyway). First try. No! One more try. YES! He gets it! But let's hit some CMs first.


Yes! He gets it! But does he have enough time? Needs to hurry. Lumber Jack climb. Yes! 9:48 left!

The regulars are impressed!

38. Shogo Ugajin is clear too! And 40. Fujimatsu.

44. Hikaru Iwamoto is a Johnny's guy. Last time he failed way too quickly. For pride! He must do better. Slowly down the other side of the Hill. Tie Fighter as Tsukada cheers him on from the sidelines. And he gets it! Fishbone next. Getting ready. And no! Majikayo!

Hioki is up next. Doushita Iwamoto!

44 have tried! 3 have cleared!

45. Masashi Hioki! Is blazing through the first few obstacles! Tie Fighter already. Fishbone. And he zooms through it! Double Pendulum. Swing. One more. And he gets it! Tackle up next. Kazuma Asa cheers him on. And he's through! Soritatsu Kabe coming up. Getting his breath. First try! Lots of time left! Tarzan Rope. It CAN be failed. But not here! Lumberjack Climb! And he's through! That's four!

46. Seiki Takasui! He is the heir to Nagano...jobwise! But he can also succeed him in SASUKE? He was a surprise clear last time. Already up to the Tie Fighter as I blathered. Fishbone. And he gets it! Double Pendulum as Nagano cheers him on. And he gets it! Kakato! Tackle is no problem. Soritatsu Kabe. He can take his time. Yes! He used his height to help him. Lots of time. And he's through! Notice me sempai!

Uh Oh. Black Tiger time! Has Katsumi Yamada improved his training methods?

47. Hiroshige Yamamoto! Has had the most success of the Black Tigers. Rolling Hill. He has THSOFEP. Fishbone as Yamada's box on the side covers him clearing. Tackle. Lots of time. Soritatsu Kabe. Gets it! And he's clear with no problem!

48. Watanabe up. Fast forward to the Fishbone and he gets the timing wrong! Everyone explains to Yamada what he had wrong.

49. Ooops. Missed his name. Tie Fighter. And he's through! Fishbone. And he gets it! Double Pendulum. He gets the bar! And he's through! Could there be two Black Tigers clearing? Tackle. Soritatsu Kabe next. And he gets it! And he's got it! That's two!

Yamada cries tears of happiness. And I...feel for him. Well, more for his boyz than for him (old habits die hard).

Whoa. Did we just jump to 68? Well, no one else has cleared.

68. Daisuke Matsuda! Is not on the A-Team! But he has build a butt-load of SASUKE obstacles. He even built a Fishbone. Crazy. Slowly down the hill. We skipped all the females. There is his daughter though, who obviously failed at 53. CMs.


And no! His timing was off and he failed on the last step!

Mada yowai!

74. Keitaro Yamamoto clears! Dion Trigg from the UK fails! Some fail! 80 clears! That's 9!

81. Takeru! KOd some dude! Slowly down the hill. Tie Fighter! And he gets it! A little trouble on the Fishbone but he gets it! Double Pendulum. And he's through! Darvish cheers him on. Tackle. Hioki tells him that he has time. Gets the Soritatsu Kabe on the second try! Lumberjack Climb. Makes sure he doesn't clip the water. And he's through! We're into double digits!

83. It's Kong Express time! He didn't do well the last two shows. Will this be his revenge? Already up to the Tie Fighter while I was tweeting. Social media people. Gotta promote the brand. Fishbone time. Yes! Double Pendulum. He gets it! Tackle is no problem! Soritatsu Kabe. Gets set. No rush. No! One more try. Yes! Whoa! He landed on the edge of the platform. But he's through!

I think he might be happy. Not sure though.

That's 11!

84. Yuusuke Suzuki is through! 86. Nakagawa is through! New dad Wataru Mori up soon.

86 have tried! 13 have cleared!

87. Jessie Graff is up for her SASUKE debut! And she is doing well! Trying to get a read on the Fishbone. And she's through! Double Pendulum. And she's through! Tackle. Kawaguchi running along with her. And she's got a lot of time! Soritatsu Kabe next. And she gets it! There's Drew. Everyone goes nuts for that! Tarzan Rope and Tarzan Climb left. Lots of time left! YES! She does it!

Well, she made it look easy.

87 have tried! 14 have cleared!

88. Ryoichi Tsukada is a Johnny's guy! He has cleared before! Up to the Tie Fighter. He has to follow Jessie's run which is probably making him nervous. Through the Fishbone! Double Pendulum. Swings. And he gets it! Tackle. Hioki cheers him on. Kabe next. Gets it! Lots of time. Just needs to be careful. Lumberjack Climb to finish. And he gets it!

That's fifteen!

89. Darvish Kenji coming up. Whoa. He went maybe a bit too fast on the Quad Steps. But CMs first.


And he had a scare on the Rolling Hill. Slowly down  the other side. Tie Fighter. Fishbone. And he's through! Double Pendulum. And get it! Through the Tackle. Kabe. Gets it! Tarzan Rope. Lumberjack Climb. He failed this before. But he gets it this time! And he's through! That's 16!

Wataru Mori is up next but let's talk to Darvish first.

90. Wataru Mori is up next! But CMs first.

NO! He tried to do the Quad Steps the old way and missed the last one! Whoops.


Moving on.

Flashback! SASUKE All-Stars.

91. Toshihiro Takeda! He finally cleared the 1st Stage after a few fails. After Mori he is a bit more careful on the Steps. Rolling Hill. Slowly. And through! Tie Fighter next. Yes! Fishbone. YES! Nagano (who gave him the slap) runs along with him. Double Pendulum. And he's through! Tackle. He has a lot of time! Soritatsu Kabe up. And he one hands it! Nagano is happy! Ike ike! Shingo tries to let it not get to him. Tarzan Rope. Lumberjack Climb. YES! That's 17! He gets a hug from Nagano!

92. Shingo Yamamoto! Takeda is through! Can Shingo join him? Rolling Hill. Tie Fighter up next. YES! He's 43 years old by the way! Thanks announcer. And he zooms through the Fishbone. Double Pen...nooooooooooooo! He missed it!

His wife is nonplussed.

93. Anastase is through! 94. Matachi is not! 95. Nagasaki is through! So is 96. Sato! And 97. Drew! That's a lot!

98. Tomohiro Kawaguchi up next! 21 have cleared! Quickly through the steps. Slowly down the Hill. Tie Fighter. Fishbone. And he gets it! Morimoto is happy! Double Pendulum. He gets it! Tackle. And he has a lot of time! Can take his time on the Kabe. Getting set. And he gets it! Kazuma Asa cheers him on (he's out with an injury). Tarzan Rope. A lot of time. And Kawauchi is through! That's 22!

99. Yuuji Urushihara is up next. And he's decided that if he doesn't clear the 1st Stage this time around...he will retire. Wow, no pressure there.

Here we go. He does the risky jump from the Hill. Tie Fighter. Fishbone next. Tons of people on the side watching along. And he gets it! Double Pendulum. He's failed this before! He gets it! Tackle next. Struggling. This generally tires him out too much for the Kabe. Soritatsu Kabe. Getting ready. Only one shot. And he gets it! Crazy, like the entire clear group is there with him. Go! Tarzan Rope. Lumberjack Climb. YES! He gets it! No retirement yet.

And one left!

100. Yusuke Morimoto! He is the newest SASUKE champion. He has grown up with the show and we have watched him develop into a champion. Already up to the Fishbone. Getting set for the Double Pendulum. And he gets it! Tackle. Lots of time left. Maybe one shot to be safe. And he does it! This is sort of anti-climatic after Yuuji's run but it's not Yusuke's fault. And he's through! That's 24!

2nd Stage.

Ono up first. Having trouble with the Salmon Ladder. Even if he clears...whoops! There he went!

38 fails the Backstream (don't worry he didn't drown)! 40 fails the Salmon Ladder!

45. Masashi Hioki up next! Through the Ring Slider. Salmon Ladder. Zipping through! On the down. And through! Spider Walk. Spider Drop. Backstream. And he is through! Lots of time! Reverse Conveyer but let's hit some CMs first.

Back. Through the Reverse Conveyer! Wall Time! And he's through! That's one!

Takasui next. Already on the down part of the Salmon Ladder. Nagano very vocal in the bo...NO! He lost his grip. He's done!

Yamada's Boyz up next.

Yamamoto times up right as he makes it to the button! No!

Obata up next. Can he keep the Black Tigers alive? Ii tempo. Salmon Ladder. Kudari time. And he gets it! Spider Walk. Spider Drop up. And through! Backstream coming up. Good pace. And he's through. Reverse Conveyer. And he zooms through! Can he do it? 1st. 2nd. 3rd. AND HE DOES IT!

Yamamoto and Igarashi can't get it done! And neither can Takeru! Or Takahashi! Only 2 have survived!

Yuusuke Suzuki has reached the 3rd Stage before but failed the 1st last time. Can he go back? Through the Salmon Ladder. Spider Walk. Spider Drop. Backstream time. And he's through, of course! He was a lifeguard. Reverse Conveyer. And is through! Does he have enough time? Going red. Needs to hurry. And he gets it with 2 seconds left!

13 have tried! 3 have cleared! Nakagawa just failed!

Jessie Graff up next! And through the Ring Slider. Salmon Ladder. She shocks all the guy with her quick Salmon Ladder. And through! Spider Walk. Spider Drop. And through! Backstream. CMs first.


She's through the Backstream and Reverse Conveyer! Time going red! And she's through!

She's more happy than tired!

Tsukuda next. Salmon Ladder next. This is where he's struggled before. On the Kudari. Whoops. Uneven. And he slips when he tries to adjust!

Darvish Kenji up next. 15 have tried! 4 have cleared!

Here he goes. Through the Ring Slider. Salmon Ladder. Kudari now. And he is..whoa! He almost whiffed the landing. Spider Walk. Slowly. Losing time here. Spider Drop. Backstream next. Needs to hurry. CMs.


Backstream. Not much time left. Nagano says Ikeruyo! I don't know about that. Time already going red. And no! He times up on the Reverse Conveyer.

He seems upset.

16 have tried! 4 have cleared!

Toshihiro Takeda next. And he's through the Ring Slider. Salmon Ladder. Good going up. NO! Uneven. Never a good thing. But he saves one! Barely hanging on. NO!

Anastase is clear! But Nagasaki fails the Spider Walk. Sato clears and so does Drew! That's 7!

Kawaguchi up next. Someone in the crowd is very loud. Scary moment on the Spider Walk but he's through! Backstream up next. And he's through! Reverse Conveyer. Wall. 1st. 2nd. Time going red. 3rd and he's through!

Urushihara getting ready to go. He's practiced swimming with Suzuki so hopefully he can do the Backstream this time. Salmon Ladder. On the Kudari. And through! Spider Walk as Morimoto tells him to be careful. And through. The moment of truth. Backstream time. Much better this time! May need to hurry though. Reverse Conveyer coming up. He's tired! Time is going red! He keeps going . And he gets out just as the time runs out! NO!

Only one person left. Yuusuke Morimoto! But first, some commercials.

Ring Slide is no problem. And through the Salmon Ladder. Already up to the Backstream. And no problem! Reverse Conveyer next. 1st. 2nd. 3rd! And he's through!

Let's go back to the booth as multiple time Olympic medalist Saori Yoshida joins the talking heads.

3rd Stage

9 out of a 100!

Masashi Hioki is first. Drum Hopper. Clear! Flying Bar next. Hioki has never don...OMG, he THSOFEP! Err..He's never done this before. He built a set at home for some foreshadowing. And he's through! Sidewinder. He communicates with the wife on the sideline. And he gets to the last one! And he's through! Cliff Hanger next. Cho kitsui!

At the first jump...NO!

Obata up next. He has already THSOFEP so I don't have high hopes. Through the Drum Hopper though. Flying Bar. And hits the first. And gets the next! And hits the first Sidewinder...pole. And hits the next! Chotto kurushii. Next. NO! He can't grab it! Yamada is sad. Obviously.

SASUKE Sensei Yuusuke Suzuki! Already up to the Flying Bar. He failed here before. And he gets it! Lots of screen time for Jessie.

Sidewinder. NO!

Jessie Graff up next! And she's through the Drum Hopper as one of the comedians chants USA! USA! Flying Bar. 1. 2. 3! And she's through. Sidewinder time. And she gets it! And she holds on only with her legs as she shakes out her arms. She is tall. And gets the next one. One more to go. And through! Cliff Hanger time.

Drew shouts out some advice. Here she goes. At the jump. NO!

She would love to come back!

Whoops! Did I miss someone? Jun Sato fails the Cliff Hanger! Oh! It was Anastase. He failed the Cliff Hanger.

We join Drew at the Sidewinder.

At the Crazy Cliffhanger already. And Drew makes the jump! At the moving part. NO!

Tomohiro Kawaguchi is next. Through the Drum Hopper! Morimoto is on the sideline having THSOFEP for some strange reason.

Flying Bar. And into the Sidewinder! And the next. Going at really fast pace. Maybe to conserve energy? Already at the Cliff Hanger. Several people agree that he can ikeru. But can he? CMs first.


Sorry, this is the Ultra Crazy Cliff Hanger. At the jump. And he gets it! At the moving part. NO!

So now, it is up to Yuusuke Morimoto. Can he bring us to the Final?

Fist bumps!

Morimoto is so serious he has THSOFEP. Drum Hopper cleared! Flying Bar. He failed here last time. CMs first.


Flying Bar revenge time! And he gets the first one! And next one! Onto the Sidewinder! Makes the second. Third! One more to go. And he gets it!

Ultra Crazy Cliff Hanger up next. At the jump. And he gets it! At the moving part. But CMs.

Back. Look at the smile on his face as he's doing the UCCH.

Moving part. And he gets it! Haha! He holds on to the moving part with one hand to chalk his hands before going for the Vertical Limit. Here he goes. NO! He was about halfway through before he couldn't hold on anymore. Tsuyoi!

He's the last man standing and the person to have gone the furthest on the current course. Let's hope everyone has another chance!

Sunday, March 26, 2017

SASUKE 33 SASUKE 2017 Liveblog!

Well, didn't really expect this to be around this time but here we are. It's the SASUKE 33 Liveblog!

This is the 20th year of the show so we get the return of Mr. SASUKE and...well, not much else, really. Good for him, I guess.

Because someone wanted to play with a 360 cam view, we know that the 1st Stage is as follows:

Rolling Hill
Fishbone (new! imported over from KUNOICHI!)
Double Pendulum
Soritatsu Kabe
Tarzan Rope
Lumberjack Climb

SASUKE 33! 90% not celebrity!

 Here we go! And let's start with..

No. 1 Nakayama Kinnikun! And he's through the Quadsteps! Slowly down the Rolling Hill. And he gets it! Tie-Figter next. No problem! Fishbone next. And..he almost lost it but he's through! Double Pendulum. Swinging. Swinging. And NO! Tried to grab with his legs! 

No. 3 Katsuhide Torisawa is strong! But he blows up as usual and he's done!

SASUKE 1997! 165 countries! 18 versions! Lots of people failing that some sleuths will figure out later!

And now let's get the title logo! And a commercial.


Here are our hosts, er...Taka and Toshi? I forget. Not really important. Is that Nobuhiko Takada? Mao Asada's sister.

And there's Makoto Nagano in the booth!

No. 8 Satoshi Matsuzawa works for NTT! And he's through the Quadsteps. 128 seconds to clear. Rolling Hill...almost didn't get it! Tie-Fighter...shacho gomennasai! He can't hold on!

No. 9 Syo Terazawa! He works in a sushi restaurant! All the way up to the Fishbone! But no!

The champ, Yusuke Morimoto gives advice to...

No. 13 Kotaro Taniguchi! He's a middle school student like Yusuke was when he started. Rolling Hill. Slowly. And he's through! Tie-Fighter. Sasuke Spray. He can't hold on and the Tie-Fighter leaves without him! Darn. But hey, he has a SASUKE 20th Anniversary Shirt.

Let's fastforward to No. 21. Though he hits the water soon!

28. Syu Yamada! Quadsteps. Rolling Hill...too fast!

Time to take a look at Katsumi Yamada and his Black Tigers. He and two others are participating this time around. Commercials.


No. 31 Hiroshige Yamamoto! Almost cleared last time! Already up to the Tie-Fighter as Yamada runs along giving advice and encouragement. NO! SEGA! Kore ne.

No. 32 Satoshi Obata! And we ff to the Fishbone. And he's throught! But he missed the trampoline on the Double Pendulum! Shippai!

More of a bad jump than a miss.

No. 33 Katsumi Yamada. Looks like the failure of his Black Tigers is weighing on him. Drink as TBS shows the crying Yamada clip.

Here he goes! Goes fast through the first three steps and slows down on the fourth to get to the Rolling Hill. Slowly on the Rolling Hill. Got it. Tie-Fighter next. NO! He started either losing his grip or leaning back right at the end! He was well back of the Tie-Fighter.

Motainai desu says Makoto Nagano. Ouch. Yamada looks like he wants to go home right now.

No. 34 Yutaka Kan of Golden Bomber. There is Kenji Darvish on the stage with him. Can he redeem himself? Err....Quadsteps and out for Mr. Kan.

Darvish hams it up.

Kan is worried that he'll get edited out.

No. 35 Hikaru Yamamoto is a Johnny's Junior dancer (Snowman?). K. Anyway, here he goes. And he slips on the Steps. Oops. OK, new rule. Celebs can't bring their friends anymore.

Nos. 36 - 39 all experience SASUKE failure of some type!

No. 42 Amano Joji is up! Wait, Iketani got cut? Amano has come close in the past. Up to the Tie-Fighter. Yes! Fishbone. YES! Double Pendulum. One hands it! But gets the otherhand on! And just gets it! Epic. And he almost falls there too! Tackle. He has one shot at the Wall. But he looks blown up. C'mon Joji. No. One more time. NO! Time is going red soon. There it goes! NO!

No. 45 Masashi Hioki! Steps. Rolling Hill. Yes! Tie-Fighter is no problem. And he's through the Fishbone! Double Pendulum....One swing. One more. And he gets it! Tackle is next. Good pace. Doesn't need to rush. Almost a minute left. Gets set. No! One more time. Yes! He could be our first tonight! Ike! May need to hurry a bit. On the Climb. Time going red! And he's through!  That's one! Everyone goes nuts.

No. 46 - 51 are our female competitors (including one 2nd Stager from KUNOICHI!) but they can't clear unfortunately.

N0. 52 Seiki Takasui! Works with Makoto Nagano! Sort of. He's the son of the company Nagano works for. And he's up to the Fishbone as Nagano runs along. And Takeda. And he gets it! Double Pendulum next. Yes! Tackle coming up. Maybe one or two shots at the wall. Nagano recommends taking a break. First try! He is almost there! Tarzan Rope next. Needs to just be careful here. Yes! Lots of time next! Yes! He does Nagano proud! What a debut!

Nos. 55, 56, 60, 61, 66, 70, 71 all take a dip!

No. 77. Clears but we just see him at the start and end of the course. Good for him though!

No. 81 Takeru! He dragged his leg and wasted an opportunity last time. Can he make up for it this time around? Already up to the Fishbone while I was blathering. Double Pendulum. Swnging. And he gets it! Tackle. Slowing down but he still has time. Two shots at the wall at most. Getting set. And he gets it! Needs to be careful here.  And he's to the Climb! Almost there. And he does it!

Onscreen graphic is asking if there will be a clear rush?

No. 82 Kenji Darvish failed the Tie-Fighter last time. Can he also redeem himself? CMs first.

81 have tried! Four have cleared!

Here we go again with Kenji Darvish. Steps. Rolling Hill. He's moving with determination but still needs to be careful. Through the Tie-Fighter! Through the Fishbowl! Double Pendulum. Swinging. He gets it! Tackle next. Lots of time. Soritatsu Kabe. First try! Tarzan Rope. Almost there...NO! Oh wow. You rarely see that happen. He lost his grip right towards the end. Masaka! Masaka! As he reached for the pipe he lost his grip.



CMs before Wataru Mori.

No. 83 Wataru Mori! Let's see some Sports Danshi. Steps. Hill. Tie-Fighter. And through! Fishbone. And yes! Double Pendulum. Tobu! Swinging. And through! Tackle. A little behind the others in time but still enough time. Soritatsu Kabe. Getting set. YES! Tarzan Rope. Still has lots of time. Just be careful. Lumberjack Climb. Almost time. Going red soon. But he's got it! Wifey is in tears.

No. 85 Masayuki Kikuchi of the SRO also clears! Iketani is happy.

No. 86 Ryoichi Tsukuda is next! All right so far! Time for the Fishbone. Almost loses it at the end! Double Pendulum. And he gets it! Tackle. Making good time. Will he be the first Johnny's guy to clear SASUKE? Soritatsu Kabe. Getting set. First try! Tarzan Rope. Lumberjack Climb. Struggling but he gets it! That's 7!

Kiss! Kiss!

No. 87 Kenji Takahashi fails the Tie-Fighter! And 88. Ryo Matachi fails the Fishbone!

No. 89 Yuuji Urushihara! Oh my gosh! He fails the Rolling Hill of all places!

No. 90 Toshihiro Takeda! Steps. Through. Rolling Hill. Slowly. And he's through! Tie-Fighter next. Gets it! Fishbone. Yes! Double Pendulum coming up. Swinging. And gets it! Tackle next. Lots of time. Soritatsu Kabe. Getting set. Gets it! Oh wow! Tarzan Rope next. Yes! Yes!

90 have tried! 8 have passed!

91. Shingo Yamamoto! Steps. Oh OK. Yuuji landed on the bottom of the Rolling Hill which is just insta-death. Tie-Fighter. And he gets it! Fishbone. Everyone figures he'll fail here. But he doesn't! But he does miss the jump on the Double Pendulum!

No. 92 Hitoshi Kanno! NO! What are you doing man? He was losing his balance and tried to jump and missed!

And 93. Suzuki is out! And 94. Ragivalu! No! What is going on?

 No. 95 Kazuma Asa had a surprising fail last time on the Tie-Fighter. 

CMs first though.

Asa with a shirt rather than his usual written on kanji.

Rolling Hill. Tie-Fighter. And he's already up on points from last year. Took a while but he's through the Fishbone! And through the Double Pendulum. Tackle. Still has lots of time. Soritatsu Kabe on the first try! Tarzan Rope. Wow. Even with that wait on the Fishbone but he still cleared the 1st Stage with almost 30 seconds left.

No. 96 Drew Dreschel is through!

No. 97 Jun Sato is through too!

And No. 98 Shunsuke Nagasaki!

98 have tried! 12 have cleared! Two more are left.

99. Toshihiro Kawaguchi! Hayai! Rolling Hill. Tonda! Tie-Fighter. Through! Fishbone. Yes! Double Pendulum. NO! He landed too low on the sandbag. Was he rushing? Kuyashii honto ni.

Only one left!

100. Yusuke Morimoto. Steps. Rolling Hill. Slowly. And through! Tie-Fighter. Yes! Fishbone. NO..wait! Safe! Abunakatta! Double Pendulum. And he gets it! Tackle. Lost some time so maybe one shot at the wall. Soritatsu Kabe. And gets it! Tarzan Rope. 20 seconds left. Doesn't need to rush. SASUKE-kun goes on the 2nd Stage!

2nd Stage

Hioki first. Ring Slider is new. But he's through! Salmon Ladder. Now going down. Through. Spider Walk. Spider Drop. And he's through. Backstream. Needs to hurry. Time running out. He's through the Backstream. Reverse Conveyer. He slips! And time runs out!        

He thanks his kids but unfortunately, his night is over.

Seiji Takasui is next. Through the Ring Slider. Salmon Ladder. NO! And 77 goes out there too!

Takeru next. Uh-oh. He can't get the second ring over. Now he's got it but he lost time. And now he's having Salmon Ladder problems. And he falls! They are going fast and furious now!

Wataru Mori next. He's through the Ring Slider. Salmon Ladder. Done with up. Down now. And through! Spider Walk. Through! Backstream. He does triathlons so hopefully he can swim. He's through! Reverse Conveyer. He keeps slipping! NO!  Time up!

SRO's Kikuchi fails the Salmon Ladder!

Tsukada next.  Through the Ring Slider.!

7 have tried! None have cleared! Toshihiro Takeda is up next! After these CMs.

Back. Ring Slider. Salmon Ladder. Some problems at the top but through. On the down. NO! He slipped on the very last rung!

Five are left!

Kazuma Asa next. Ring Slider. Salmon Ladder. Up. Down. And through! Spider Walk. Spider Drop. And through! Backstream next. 50 seconds left. Almost there. And through! Reverse Conveyer. Yes! Wall Lifting but we need CMs apparently!

Back. Time is running out. 1st Wall. 2nd Wall. 3rd Wall. YES! He does it! Dude is pumped.

Drew is through!

And so is Jun Sato!

And Nagasaki!

Yusuke Morimoto is our final contestant! And he's through to the Spider Walk. Backstream. Yes! Reverse Conveyer. And through! Wall Lifting. And through! With the best time tonight!

3rd Stage

TBS does some self-promoting by moving a guy doing one of the evening dramas into the announce booth.


Asa up first. Drum Hopper. He got it! Flying Bar next. He takes his time getting ready. NO! He was getting ready for the next jump and moved the bar too much. He really wanted to get to the Crazy Cliff-Hanger.

Drew Dreschel up next! He's been getting digested but no getting around him now. Drum Hopper is no problem! Flying Bar next. Drew was last man standing at SASUKE 2016. Can he do it again? Up to the Sidewinder! One more to go! He's got it! Ultra Crazy Cliffhanger coming up. CMs.

Ad for KUNOICHI! Deadline to apply is May 31st!


Ultra Crazy Cliffhanger. At the jump. And he gets it! At the moving wall. NO! He missed it? Slipped? Damn.

Jun Sato up next. He failed the Cliff Hanger last time. And through!

Flying Bar. NO! He hit the landing pad with the bar (i.e. didn't get the bar high enough).

Shunsuke Nagasaki up next. Hey, he got married! Good for him. He wants to be a two-time finalist! Through the Drum Hopper. Flying Bar next. He failed here last time. NO! He overshot the next one!

Makoto Nagano gives Yusuke Morimoto some encouragement. CMs.

Yusuke Morimoto is our last hope to see a final stage but since there's like less than five minutes left, I don't think it's very likely.

Drum Hopper. Flying Bar next. NO! He really overshot that one.

Once again, Drew Drechsel is our last man standing but we end with a shot of SASUKE-kun.

I guess until KUNOICHI in the summer!       

 Storify time!