SASUKE MANIAC May 25, 2008 Sort of liveblog! サスケマニア

This week! No more Maguro Festival! It'll be like Motley Crue said, "Girls, girls, girls!" Except not! Someone send me a copy of "The Dirt!"

While we're waiting let's see what's happening in the world of Japanese sports! Baseball highlights set to a cover version of Beat It! Kotooooooooooooshu! He won. Women's volleyball! They lost. Soyjoy! Everyone wins!

I hope that monster eats Kimura one day.

Jero! He's already sold out to the man!

Finally! Muscle Queen 2008! Tonight! The final stage!

1st Stage: Yurisa. 2nd Stage: Kayo Noro.

Last week Cherry Pie EXPLODED as one of them took out the other one.

Next up: Yurisa ユリサ vs. Inui Mayu 乾麻由! They are taking each other on that weird balance thing in Muscle Park (バランス). Yurisa's time was 3.03 seconds. Inui's second try! Here she goes! 2.49 seconds! Yurisa wins!

Kayo Noro 野呂佳代 vs. Nishiaki Aina 西秋愛菜 in the Body Clock (ボディクロック)! They have to press the button and try to be the closest to 10 seconds. Noro's time...9.81 seconds! Nishiaki...11.28! Noro wins! Nishiaki is out!

Momomi Yoshino 吉野ももみ vs. Miho of Cherry Pie! チェリー☆パイ　みほ Whoever wins here will go on to the Final Stage! They have to touch the pads in order (アジリティ). Yoshino is first! Her time is 14.28. Miho is next! Can she do it? Here she goes! Ah! She misstepped! Will it cost her? 15.85! It did! Wait. Miho gets another chance. Here she goes! No! She missed the top button! 17.18 seconds! Yoshino is going to the Final Stage!

Flash Circle! (What?) First up is Noro vs. Yurisa! They have to touch lamps on poles (フラッシュサークル). Noro is first! AHH! No! She missed! Oh, they have to touch the lamps in order. Yurisa! She did it! Noro is out!

The next event! Workout (ワークアウト)! One minute of push ups! Not exactly the fastest of paces. Yoshino is in the early lead. One minute of sit ups! The pace picks up! It's still close! Yoshino is up by about 7. And that's the final difference! Final tally: 50- 43! Yoshino wins the third stage!

Yurisa is still in the lead with 20 points. Noro is next with 18 and Yoshino is last at 16. Yurisa is still hurting from the Workout!

Now they are in Dex Hiroba! Wherever that is. Yoshino finished 3rd, 3rd, 1st. Noro was 2nd, 1st, 3rd. Yurisa was 1st, 2nd, 2nd.

The last event! 空気椅子 Kuuki Isu! I forget what we call it in English. Chairs? They have do that thing where you have to hold yourself up in a sitting position with your back against the wall. Because of the point totals, Yurisa gets an extrat 40 seconds, Noro an extra 20 seconds. So Yoshino has to start, then Noro, then Yurisa.

CMs.

We're back! Reaching 1:30. This is thrilling! Two minutes coming up. Yurisa is looking pained. This event possibly favors Yoshino. Wait! Noro is the first out! Yurisa and Yoshino! Two and a half minutes! Remember that Yurisa started over half a minute after Yoshino. Three minutes. Yurisa looks pained! She's tilting her head forward!

CMs.

That air conditioner will follow you wherever you are! You can't escape it.

Because when I hear Goldfinger and Shirley Bassey, I think Nissan.

Back. Going past three minutes. Abunai! Yurisa tilts her head forward. Yabai! Yurisa's leg is buckling. That's it! At 3:50 (actually 3:48 is when Yurisa goes down but the horn goes off at 3:50) Yoshino wins and pulls off the comeback! Crying ensues. Yurisa is kind of whiny. Why is Miho crying? Yurisa I can understand. Yoshino gets a laurel wreath! She's your 2008 Muscle Queen! No previews for next week? OK then!

Congratulations to Momomi Yoshino!

Bonus material: Here's her wearing her wreath at home.