Here we ar...wait. I'm early. I'm going to have a sandwich first.
Alright! He...ten more minutes? Bathroom break!
Umm..here, get yourself pumped up with this before the show starts.
SASUKE 29!
At SASUKE 28, the All-Stars rode off into the sunset...or did they? This time around three of them are back! Another brought in four guys that will combine to form a giant robot that JUST might be able to complete the 1st Stage for him. Can the old-timers show those whipper-snappers just how it's done?
Or will the new stars shine once again?
It's SASUKE 29!
Hey! Yagyu-gaiden! SASUKE: Since 1997!
Let's look at photos of newspaper photos of the SASUKE ASEAN Cup announcement.
WERE YOU ONE OF THE 161? WRITE IN. (Or don't).
Let's look at a montage of spoilers and fails!
Kanno, Yuuji, Asa and Nagano carry a Japanese flag..shirtless. That was melodramatic.
New theme!
Let's go to the studio..before something exciting happens! Not quite as many people this time. I'll get you their names later. I know Karen Michibata off the top of my head.
1st Stage!
105 seconds to clear.
2. Kenji Hamatani of Hamaka-n! Is first. Does schtick first. Long Jump...is successful! Log Grip up next. Yes! Hedgehog...can he do it? Just does! Jumping Hang...NO! Too low! Zenzen tondenai!
3. Yuusuke Kosugi! He has a jinrikishaw! Long Jump...NO! Faceplant in the sand!
4. Double dutch player MASA! Long Jump...looking winded already. He does it! Log Grip. He sprays up. Through! Hedgehog..NO! You can't just waltz through it.
6. Katsuhide Torisawa BREAKS A BAT! AND THEN FACEPLANTS IN THE SAND! Ouch.
11. Yuuta Kajiwara! Is next. But first, your children needs to learn people!
Back.
Long Jump..YES! Dekimashita! Log Grip..Legs come off but he's through! Hedgehog...Through! Jump Hang..NO! He went right by the way. Hamatani went left.
12. Kozo Takeda! He's a fighter! Long Jump..slowly. Shuffle..FACEPLANT!
17. Hayato Enokido! He's a pro bodyboarder. Long Jump is OK..but the Log Grip is NOT! 21. Takayuki Suzuki! He's the first Mr. Japan. Long Jump is fine! Log Grip is up next. Through! Hedgehog..No problem! Jump Hang...Bad Timing! AGAIN! But he doesn't use the trampoline! 22 (Tomomi Takano) fails the Jump Hang! 23 (Yuusuke Onuki), 24 (Naoki Sakamoto) go down to the Hedgehog! So does 25 (wall). And 27! And 28! (hedgehog) 31. Rina Sawayama! Long Jump! Is through! Log Grip is up next. And she falls just at the end! 32. Minowaman! Takes his time! Here he goes! He's on...and then off! That was a face he made. Didn't help though! 33. Oracchio of Dangan Jackie...but after these messages. Back! He was a former gymnast. It's essential to his schtick. Log Grip is clear! Hedgehog up next. A Jackie Chan-esque flip into the water! 34. Hits the sand! 35. Doesn't clear the Hedgehog! And...that brings us to 36!
36. Shingo Yamamoto! He has decided to give SASUKE another shot! And he actually went through the qualification process! And got back on the show! Here he goes! Long Jump is good! Log Grip...Yes! Hedgehog up next...but first let's look at some commercials.
Back!
Wow, the Log Grip bounced kind of hard there. Hedgehog clear! Jump Hang...Yes! Looking good! He went right. Ni-Ren Soritatsu Kabe..1st Wall! 2nd Wall! Both on the first try! Tarzan Rope and lots of time! He's back! Unless he falls here. One never knows. 15.6!
Umm...41. Kouji Hashimoto is clear! 42. Shootboxer Rena! Is through to the Jump Hang! And she blows the jump! 44 fails the Long Jump! As does 45! 46 Tomoyuki fails the Ni-Ren Soritatsu Kabe. Sorry, I got sort of distracted by them glossing over Hashimoto clearing the 1st Stage. IT'S YAMADA GUNDAN TIME! 47. The 1st Black Tiger fails the Jump Hang! 48. The 2nd fails the Ni-Ren Soritatsu Kabe. 49. The 3rd faceplants on the Long Jump. 50. Yamada's last hope! AND HE FAILS THE LONG JUMP.
51, 52 faceplant. 53 fails the Hedgehog.
56. Li En Zhi! Is back! Sorry...I was having computer issues. He's clear! AND A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER PEOPLE.
And we skip ahead to 73.
73. Hioki Masashi! Let's look at his past SASUKE history. Long Jump, Log Grip and Hedgehog are no problem! He goes left on the Jump Hang! Ni-ren Soritatsu Kabe up next. 1st Wall...on the 2nd try! 2nd Wall up next. YES! Thirty seconds! Needs to hurry a bit. The Tarzan Rope takes longer than you'd think! Hurry! YES! With 2.8 left!
Hmmm...they seem to be playing him up a bit. Tears are shed! Shinya's collar is popped!
A bunch of fails! Yuuji Washimi! Keita Tomino!
79. Yuusuke Morimoto! He's back! He's young! He's trained with Mr. SASUKE! Is that the kiss of death? It was in the past. Perhaps he's learned. Long Jump, Log Grip and Hedgehog are clear! As is the Jump Hang! 1st Wall! 2nd Wall! Tarzan Rope is next. Not a lot of time though. 9.6! He's through!
81. Tomoko Hagiwara! She was an Olympic swimmer. And she takes the loooong fall from the platform after the Hedgehog into the water!
83. Ryo Miyazaki! He's a pro boxer! And champion! And he defeats the Long Jump! Log Grip up next. Yes! Announcer is not making boxing jokes. Hedgehog. Slowly! But he does it! Abunakatta! Jump Hang..NO! Bad jump off the trampoline, really.
84. Daisuke Nakano! He was in the Athens Olympics! He got a silver medal in gymnastics (team, I believe). Long Jump and Log Grip are clear! Hedgehog is no problem! Jump Hang! NO! Ummm...yeah. You really can't try to grab both sides. Nice form though.
85. Kinnikun Nakayama! POWER! Long Jump is clear. Log Grip up next. POWER! Hedgehog up next. Through! Jump Hang next. He goes right! Needs to hurry though. Ni-Ren Soritatsu Kabe. 1st Wall..YES! 2nd Wall up next. 2nd Wall...Has he blown himself up! YES! Needs to hurry though! Time is going to go red soon. Less than ten seconds to get up. Needs to hurry. Just as he gets up the time is UP!
86. Wakky! He timed out on the Tarzan Rope in SASUKE 28. Long Jump and Log Grip are no problem. Hedgehog up next. Slow but sure. Jump Hang. He gets the net! He went right by the way. Ni-ren...1st Wall! Yes! 2nd Wall...lots of time. YES! First try! Tarzan Rope...it's going to be close. Fifteen seconds. Time is going red soon. Needs to hurry. YES! 2.4 left!
Hiromichi Sato is impressed.
87. Kongu Takahashi and 89 Okuyama and 90 (Kadono) and 91 (Yamamoto). And 93 (Shunsuke Nagasaki).
94. So of course we get to see Hiromichi Sato fail the Long Jump. SOME people are surprised. Most probably are not.
95. Toshihiro Takeda! Long Jump! Yes! Log Grip is no problem! Hedgehog up next. YE...NO! He slips! And he's on the side...can he pull himself up? NO! Very Shingo-esque. 96. Kazuma Asa! He's a bit emotional. Long Jump. YES! Log Grip up next. And he's through! Hedgehog. Yes! He goes right on the Jump Hang. Ni-Ren Soritatsu Kabe. Leaving nothing to chance! He gets both walls on the first try. Lots of time left. Wooo...30.30 left! He destroyed the course! 97. Check out those guns! Hitoshi Kanno, 98 Ryo Matachi and 99 Yuuji Urushihara are all through! Now, there is only one left. Number 100. Makoto Nagano's run is coming up after these messages!
Back.
Let's look at Nagano's triumphs and (recent) tragedies on the SASUKE course.
He wants his son to see him press that button.
100. Makoto Nagano! Not quite night yet. Long Jump and Log Grip are no problem. Hedgehog is cleared! Jump Hang. His head snaps back but he gets it! Did he pull something? Holding his back leg. Ni-ren..1st Wall..YES! 2nd Wall...not on the 1st try! Still has time. Time is up!
21 have cleared! But now we will start to winnow down the numbers!
36. Shingo Yamamot is up first! Cross Slider. Swap Salmon Ladder. Looking good so far. One bar run. YES! Unstable Bridge next. YE..wait. YES! Spider Walk. Needs to hurry, I thi...commercials first.
Back.
Spider Walk. Needs to hurry. Back Stream next. Time is going to go red soon. NO! SHINGO CAN'T SWIM! SHINGO CAN'T SWIM! NO! Time up! His wife is a bit peeved that he did nothing.
41. Koji Hashimoto up next! Cross Slider! Swap Salmon Ladder! Clear! Unstable Bridge and Spider Walk are cleared! Back Stream...is a lot more difficult than last time! He even had goggles!
56. Li En Zhi is next! He has a group of supporters from Taiwan! Cross Slider is OK. Swap Salmon Ladder. Last run. Yes! Unstable Bridge. Spider Walk up next. May need to pick up the pace though. Back Stream up next. YES! Wait...YES...YES! But just as some logos pop-up. Commercial time.
Back.
Needs to hurry! Time is going red. 1st Wall...Time is up!
57. Daisuke Morikami also times out! And so does 60. Hoshikawa. Inoue fails the Cross Slider. Katakabe fails the Swap Salmon Ladder. And Takami. Ishikawa times up after the tank.
73. Masashi Hioki is up next! Cross Slider, Swap Salmon Ladder. Unstable Bridge...not a lot of time. Spider Walk. Less than twenty seconds before he even hits the tank. Time is going red. That's it! Damn. The Back Stream is a time killer.
Umm..it's not image training if he actually has a replica.
79. Yusuke Morimoto! He has a backyard with SASUKE replica obstacles. He needs to cut the grass though. Whoops. Through to the Spider Walk. More than 30 seconds. That's a good time. He's almost through. Lots of time. Hurry! Passing Wall. 1st Wall..time going red. Last wall! Hurry! He goes under! 0.8 left! He's our first!
OK, you have to get to the Back Stream with at least 30 seconds. Hioki got there with 20. It takes at least 10 seconds to get through it.
News break.
86. Wakky! Cross Slider. Swap Salmon Ladder. Can he do it? Not sure but he needs to pick up the pace. NO! He was thinking about the time.
12 have tried! One has cleared!
87. Kenji Takahashi! Cross Slider. Swap Salmon Ladder. Good pace so far. Last rung...onto the Unstable Bridge. Through! Spider Walk. Good time so far. Back Stream next. He powers through! Needs to hurry though. Passing Wall. 1st Wall! 2nd Wall! 3rd Wall! 5.1 left!
Okuyama! Kadono! Yamamoto! Time out on the Back Stream!
93. Shunsuke Nagasaki! He coaches kids! Cross Slider. Swap Salmon Ladder. Unstable Bridge next. NO! Wasting time here. Spider Walk. I don't think he's going to make it. Back Stream! Time is going red! And after the 1st Wall the time is up!
96. Kazuma Asa! Cross Slider. Swap Salmon Ladder. Last rung coming up. Unstable Bridge. Yes! Spider Walk next. Lots of time going into the Back Stream. Struggling a bit but he has a time cushion. Through!
Commercials. KANE KOSUGI COMMERCIAL!
Twenty seconds going into the Passing Wall. 1st Wall. 2nd Wall is butt opened. 3rd Wall. YES! 4.0 left!
Hahaha...Asa is done crying. He's out for 3rd Stage revenge!
97. Hitoshi Kanno! Err...up to the Spider Walk. Lots of time. Maybe. Depends on how good a swimmer he is. YES! Lots of time left! Here he goes! Time is red. 3.8 left! He's through!
Let's get a reaction from his lady friend.
98. Ryo Matachi! He timed out last time! Cross Slider. Swap Salmon Ladder. Through! Unstable Bridge next. Through! Spider Walk. Needs to hurry. Back Stream. Kind of flailing. Uh oh. That's not good. NO! Time is going red. That's it! Oh my.
99. Yuuji Urushihara is next! And last! Cross Slider. Swap Salmon Ladder. Last rung. Unstable Bridge next. Spider Walk. Good pace right now. Lots of time now. Speedy! Back Stream. He goes under. Staying up requires more power. Struggling at the end! Needs to hurry! NO! Time is running out. NO! That's it! The Back Stream has claimed another victim!
Four have survived! Seventeen are just wet!
We have now entered the SASUKE ASEAN CUP portion of our programming. There are places for Gold, Silver and Bronze. That means one out of the four will be left out. Who will it be?
Yusuke Morimoto is up first. There is a clock on the screen. It's to determine who has the fastest (final) time. Rumbling Dice is through! Having trouble on the Iron Paddler though. Whoa! He's trying to use his body to power through and he almost goes too far over. Almost there. Damn. That took a lot out of him. Crazy Cliff Hanger up next.
The clock, then, penalizes you for resting too long between obstacles. At the jump....here he goes..YES! He is the first person to clear the obstacle! Granted only three people attempted it before him. Still.
Curtain Cling. He's the first person to try this (version) of the obstacle. And he clears! Vertical Limit! He's the first to try this too! He's through! Getting himself set. Now the 1st person to try the new Pipe Slider! But commercials first.
Back. Can he do it?
At the end...swinging...NO! He had a foot on and then was out! The Curse of Katsumi Yamada has struck again!
Kenji Takahashi is next! He found a great place to practice the Crazy Cliff Hanger jump! Roughly 30 minutes of airtime left.
Rumbling Dice! The classic Rumbling Dice overhead shot. Iron Paddler next. HOLY COW. That was fast. Well, now we know how that is supposed to work.
Crazy Cliff Hanger but...lets look at some commercials first.
Back.
Crazy Cliff Hanger. NO! He lost his grip! D'oh!
So does that mean Morimoto is guaranteed bronze?
Kazuma Asa! Let's look at recycled footage! And...commercials before he does anything.
Back.
Rumbling Dice is cleared! Iron Paddler is no problem! Clearly Kongu has shown us the way.
Crazy Cliff Hanger. At the jump. Here he goes..NO! Damn.
So now Morimoto gets at least silver, right?
Unprompted and unexpected hug!
Let's look at Kanno almost go flying off into the street off of Ryo's roof.
Last man standing! Hitoshi Kanno!
Rumbling Dice is no problem!
Iron Paddler up next. Yes! Ironically, the person who had the hardest time with it tonight went the furthest so far.
Crazy Cliff Hanger next. Nine minutes left. Here he goes. At the jump...Commercials! Back. Getting set for the jump. NO! Oh wow. NO ONE. NO ONE expected Yusuke Morimoto to go the furthest, if they even remembered who he was from the previous shows. SASUKE-kun!
Wait...hold on. Did I miss something? Because no one reached the Final Stage, there are no automatic slots to the ASEAN Cup? I'm confused.
OK. Hold on. They go to the house and NOW they invite Morimoto. But for the rest you have to check the homepage!
That's it! The Back Stream became a huge competitor killer this time, which is fine with me. This time NO ONE should have been surprised that they had to swim yet clearly people were unprepared for it and even the ones that did practice for it struggled.
There were a bunch of first time clears (even if they didn't get screen time) and we possibly saw a new star in the making. Someone who was not even in the 1st Grade when SASUKE first started.
On to the ASEAN Cup! Oh there's something going on in America but I don't really pay attention to that.
Our story thus far: At SASUKE 27, Yuuji Urushihara conquered the course once again to become the KING OF SASUKE, which is much better than being a Mister of SASUKE, if you ask me.
And then!
Well, there were some problems, the show's future was in doubt and a year later the show is back on track and tonight we will see what a (sort of new) team will bring to the show. Tonight, they promise that it will be the last stand of the All-Stars but will Katsumi Yamada really go quietly! I fear they may have to put him down.
Hey tys news guy, that tie sort of clashes with that shirt.
Here we go! Lets look at some past shows and the claim that the show is broadcast in 157 countries and territories. America! Malaysia! Singapore! Taiwan!
And then it gets all dramatic...we start with the web trailer.
Here we go! Sorry, got distracted.
Oops. Commercial.
Let's start in the studio with Jay Kabira and someone else! The All-Stars in suits! Let's talk to some people promote their shows!
Let's look at the course!
1. Yuuya Fukuda! He's up first! Godantobi is no problem! Rolling Escargot up next. NO! Didn't even get started. Not that lucky!
3. Yoshio Kojima is up next! Godantobi is OK. Rolling Escargot....NO! Not that I expected much.
9. Katsuhide Torisawa! BLOWS UP lifting weights! Godantobi. YES! Rolling Escargot...Almost there! Can he??? YES!
Torisawa warrants a commercial!
Tekken does a commercial!
Back!
Torisawa takes a massive wipeout on the spin bridge! That was a nice one.
10. Rafting guide Masashi Toyoda! Swings his oar! Steps are no problem. Rolling Escargot..slowly...slowly. YES! Spin Bridge next. Almost! He didn't quite reach the last ball.
24. Yuusuke Suzuki has supporters! That's never a good sign. Steps. Rolling Escargot..Mawaru..mawaru..Clear! Spin Bridge...will he be the first? YES! or NO! Wait...ANOTHER commercial?
Back! Wait...he's holding on...NO! The crowd is shocked I guess.
After 30 none have cleared!
31. Darvish Kenji is up next! Let's see some Golden Bomber footage before we go to a commercial.
Back! Steps is no problem. Rolling Escargot. NO! Oh well. Enjoy your chart success!
32. Kazuki Shimizu is an actor! He's next! Steps! Yes! Rolling Escargot...NO!
33. Nana Suzuki is up next. She JUST makes it through the steps. Rolling Escargot. Can she do better than our l...oh, I guess not.
34. GENERATIONS Mendy Sekiguchi! Steps is no problem. Rolling Escargot...slowly...very slowly. And it doesn't help! Oh Mendy!
36. Arata Horii of D-Date! Steps. OK! Rolling Escargot. NOT OK! Yes yes, you thought you could do it.
Shingo and the new stars hang out.
37. Hiroyuki Gondou does push ups! Slow start because of a wardrobe malfunction. Steps is fine though. Rolling Escargot WHOA! He just jumped off! Can he do that? He touched the water. Spin Bridge. YES! Oh well. Jump Hang Kai! Makes its first appearance. NO! Oh well.
Takeda is cold.
40. Kouji Hashimoto! Is up next! Will he be our first? The new stars encourage him. Steps! Rolling Escargot...Good form! Spin Bridge coming up. NO! Nagano says uso! Well that was a surprise.
The vets are surprised too. And a bit worried.
41. Rina Sawayama! She's a pro figure skater. Godantobi clear! Rolling Escargot...And that's it for her! Good thing she has that DVD coming out soon.
42. Takashi Murakami! Works for Yoshinoya! And has a hat! Steps..clear! NOPE! Sorry Yoshinoya! No free advertising for you!
44. Kouki Someya is up next! He's an athlete of sorts. Steps. Rolling Escargot as his thighs jiggle. YES! Spin Bridge next. YES! Can he be the first to clear the Jump Hang? YES! He goes right. Not sure about the time at this point. Niren Soritatsu Kabe next. First Wall! Second wall! Twenty seconds left. Tarzan Rope. Does he have enough time? It's going red. Hurry! CMs.
Back! Does he have time...CAN HE! YES! HE CAN! With 00.3 on the clock! Our first clear!
OK. WHO IS THE GUY WITH THE POLICE HAT IN THE STUDIO???
Well, that was exciting.
45, 46, 47 all fail! And 48 too! He couldn't hold on after the Spin Bridge!
Let's go back to the studio!
51. Joji Amano gets the most exposure of his career! I believe he is the guy in the police hat.
Steps. Rolling Escargot! He's stuck! And that's it!
53. Minoru Kuramochi! Is up next. Whoops! That was fast!
54. Drew Barrybarrymore! NO! Well! OK then.
58. Kazuma Asa is up next! He gets a full on montage...hrmm...Last time he cleared the 1st Stage. Can he do it again? The sun has set. TONIGHT THE ALL-STARS RETIRE. Whoops. That's the corner graphic.
CMs.
Back!
Here he goes. Godantobi. Rolling Escargot...SASUKE Tamashii! YES! Spin Bridge. No problem! Jump Hang. He goes right. Lots of time. First wall is no problem! Second wall on the first try! Tarzan Rope with a lot of time! At the net...Over twenty seconds. YES! With 16.2 left!
That's two!
Kinnikun checks out the course.
61. Taizou Sugimura next. Hurry up man. Umm..He clears the steps and showboats. Will probably fall here. And he goes head first into the water!
62. Takeo Seto! He's a comedian! Godantobi is OK. Rolling Escargot is NOT!
His combi partner is shocked.
63 fails the steps.
64, 65, 66 fails the jump hang. 68 fails the Jump Hang too. 70 fails the Spin Bridge!
76. Naoki Iketani! He's back! He cleared the 1st Stage last time! Let's promote the SRO! He flips! But can he clear? Steps. Rolling Escargot. Slowly. Slowly. NO! His wife is shocked!
So far we have two!
Let's train with Nakayama Kinnikun!
Wakky and Kinnkun do a bit of comedy.
81. Nakayama Kinnikun! Steps! OK! Rolling Escargot...And he's through! Spin Bridge..no problem! Jump Hang...Kinnkunnnnn! He goes right. No one has gone left so far. First wall! Second wall..NO! And again..NO! NO! Needs to hurry...time going red soon. If he doesn't do it no...wait...nope...TIME UP!
82. Mika Watanabe up next! She's a KUNOICHI finalist. She's a ripped homemaker. She has had her kids with her. Not a good sign. Steps. Rolling Escargot next. Loses a foot! And that's it! Her son reacts!
83. Taiwan's Li En Zhi is up next! He gets hugs and props from Nagano. Last time he had the biggest surprise fail when he let his foot drag the water. It's time for revenge! Steps. No problem. Rolling Escargot. YES! Spin Bridge. Masaka! Masaka!
85. Wakky is up next! He cleared last time. Let's montage him first though. Godantobi is fine. Rolling Escargot next. Slowly. Slowly. Should jump. He does! Spin Bridge. Needs to go fast. YES! Jump Hang up. He goes right! Almost falls! But he holds on. Needs to hurry though. Niren Soritatsu Kabe. Needs to do it quick. First wall is clear but time is still going. Gets set. YES! Can he do it? It's going to be close. CMs first though.
Back!
Time is running out. He's at the net but the time has gone red! He...is not going to do it! Looks like the Rolling Escargot took too much time.
87. Ryo Matachi! UNCLI in the house! Montage. Steps. Rolling Escargot next. Note the guy in the white jacket that makes him look like a researcher in the back. Spin Bridge! Clear! Jump HANG! He goes right! He's through! First wall! Second wall! Tarzan Rope next. Lots of time. At the net. Time going red soon though. Needs to hurry. YES! 1.4 left!
Note how Ryo goes through the Rope Hang net like he's doing a 3rd Stage obstacle.
88. The King of SASUKE is up next! He has a lot of pressure on him. He's the only man to clear the course twice. Montage. Steps. YES! Rolling Escargot. YES! Spin Bridge. YES! Although he almost slipped on the last ball! Yuuji does the same as Ryo, goes right and climbs. Walls. Yes and yes! Tarzan Rope. Onto the net! Lots of time! Yes! 21.3!
Yuuji is pumped!
Nagano longs for his youth!
89. Hitoshi Kanno is up next! Yuuji and Ryo give him advice! Well, shout advice at him. Don't know if he was listening. Check them guns! Steps! Rolling Escargot. My hands are cold. YES! Spin Bridge! Yes! Gingerly. Jump Hang. He goes right and is through. Wall next. First is no problem. Second on the first try! Lots of time! Tarzan Rope. Rope Ladder. Takes his time. 10.2 left!!
The All-Stars are under the gun now.
91. Tomoko Hagiwara! She is a swimmer! She's next! And she's done! Masaka masaka!
95. Kouki Sakamoto is an Olympic gymnast! Steps! Rolling Escargot. Spin Bridge up next He's through! Jump Hang...slowly. May have lost time. Niren Soritatsu Kabe. On the second try on the first wall. Second wall. NO! Not even close. Another try. NO! May not make it. Needs to do it here. Time is going to go red soon. And that's it!
And it's time for the All-Stars!
Kazuhiko Akiyama, the first man to ever complete SASUKE is up first! Let's take a look at his past.
96. Kazuhiko Akiyama! Steps! Yes! Rolling Escargot. YES! Spin Bridge. NO! He lost his footing and that was it.
He passes on the torch to the young guns. He's trying to not break down. And he does when he's finished.
Hugs from Yamada. Handshakes from the others.
97. Toshihiro Takeda is next! Let's take a look at his history. And then go to a commercial!
Back.
Steps! No problem. Rolling Escargot. He jumps for it...but touches the water! The crowd can't believe it. Takeda looks...relieved.
98. Shingo Yamamoto! He's the only man to have attended every SASUKE. Let's take a look at his life. 97 have tried! Five have cleared! The chickens are revolting! It's Shingo Yamamoto! Steps! OK! Rolling Escargot...dangerous time here. A little slow. But he's through! Spin Bridge. He's still alive! NO! He slipped and held on to the rope but no. Of course the crowd is shocked.
Shingo looks forward to his new life. His wife is in tears. She probably hopes his new hobby is something like stamp collecting.
99. Katsumi Yamada. The Mister of SASUKE. The sight of his rusted up set is..sad. Here we go! Wait...commercials first.
Back. The crowd is chanting his name! Steps. Rolling Escargot. Slowly. Umm..if he takes that long there is no way he's going to have time to clear. Spin Bridge! Yes. Jump Hang...He gets it! He went right. Slowly going. Not going to have time at all. First wall. Almost impossible by now. NO! Time has gone red. Gets it. But after the time has gone!
Yamada addresses the crowd but doesn't cry (which is OK because Kazuma Asa does for him). Note: It looks like Yamada was the only one who held the microphone himself. Perhaps he was going to regale the crowd with a song?
There is only one All-Star left standing. Makoto Nagano! Let's look at Nagano's life. He is the de facto SASUKE ambassador abroad.
He doesn't want to lose to those whippersnappers!
100. Makoto Nagano! 105 seconds to clear by the way, in case I didn't note it earlier. Steps. Rolling Escargot. Yes! Spin Bridge. Yes! He always moves so smoothly. Jump Hang! He goes right! Clear! Niren...First wall! He's showing those damn punks! GET OFF MY LAWN! Second wall. NO! One more try. But a commercial first.
Back. NO! Time is going to go red...don't give up! NO! You can see Yamada's freaking teeth in the background. And that's it. No speech for Nagano.
Let's go back to the studio for some reactions. You know, saying stuff like All-Stars zenmetsu is the kind of stuff that makes them want to stop having all this pressure on them.
Let's look at the Second Stage. If you can't swim you are screwed! 135 seconds to clear.
That looks fairly crazy.
44. Someya up first! Cross Slider! Yes! Swap Salmon Ladder next. Slowly. Don't know how things play it yet though. Five parts to the Swap Salmon Ladder...and he doesn't get the fifth one! Good effort for your first try!
Yuuji and Ryo examine things in the way only people who LIVE SASUKE can. Kanno just laughs it off.
58. Kazuma Asa next! Cross Slider. Swap Salmon Ladder next. But a few words from our sponsors first!
And a news break!
Back. Are you informed now?
Cross Slider. Swap Salmon Ladder. Gets through all five! And may I note that the Cross Slider is clearly named because of the position. Whoops. He's through the Back Stream! Passing Wall! 30 kg! 40 kg! 50 kg! He's through! That's one!
87. Ryo Matachi next! Cross Slider...ahaha. Swap Salmon Ladder. 1st. 2nd. 3rd. 4th. YES! Unstable Bridge next. Needs to swing. Did he check with the others? Or look at the clock? Spider Walk..gets set. Kind of slow. But he's clear! Don't know about his time though. Back Stream next. Needs to hurry, I think. He's through! Walls next. 30 Kg. Having trouble. Needs to hurry, NO! Time is going red. NO! I think his strategy was off. He took too long during the Spider Walk.
88. Yuuji Urushihara! He finds new and interesting ways to fail! Cross Slider..bwahahaha! Swap Salmon Laddder. 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, yes! Unstable Bridge next. Yes! Spider Walk. Needs to hurry. A bit slow. Back Stream now. Yes! Lots of time! Passing Wall. And he's through! And he looks a bit irked that he had to swim!
89. Hitoshi Kanno is up next! And last! Cross Slider..Swap Salmon Ladder..Yes! Unstable Bridge up next. Clear! Spider Walk up. Yes! Back Stream! No problem! Passing Wall. Last one. YES! He's through! That's three!
Third Stage!
It's the Crazy Cliff Hanger in the studio! Inui sighting. Let's take a look. Iron Paddler? Well OK. Vertical Limit looks crazy. And the Pipe Slider is back!
Yuuji is impressed by the tester.
58. Kazuma Asa is up first! This is first 3rd Stage attempt. Rumbling Dice first. No time limit here. He's through! Iron Paddler. He examines the technology. YES! That looked hard for him. He'll be the first to take on the Crazy Cliff Hanger. But a few words from our sponsors.
Back.
Crazy Cliff Hanger. But some prepping by Asa first. On to the 2nd ledge. 3rd ledge..needs to do the jump now...here he goes....NO! He couldn't hold on!
88. Yuuji Urushihara! He is the only man to defeat SASUKE twice! He touches his wood at home a lot. So much that it changes color.
Commercials.
Back! Rumbling Dice. YES! Iron Paddler next. He takes a short break. Slowly. He's having some problems getting it to move. NO! DON'T LET IT ROLL BACK! Whoops..got carried away there. And...he's through! Crazy Cliff Hanger next. Here he goes...into this commercial!
Back...quickly across...AND NO! He was there but couldn't get his grip! He ALMOST had it. Damn.
And only one was left standing!
89. Hitoshi Kanno! Rumbling Dice first. Through! Iron Paddler...He almost loses it at the end! But he's through! Needs a breather first. And so does the show as we go to CMs.
First ledge. Second ledge. Third...at the jump now...NO! And that is it!
Back to the studio. Our three last men standing take a bow!
And that's it! The All-Stars have their last stand. The New Stars shine with the spotlight on them! Will there be another show? We can only hope so!
