Thursday, July 03, 2014


Welcome back!

It's time for SASUKE 30! A nice round number, true but it has been 17 years since the first show. Back then this was the biggest song in Japan:

Also! Toshiro Mifune died. The Osaka Dome was built. Princess Mononoke was released. PRIDE had it's first show. Basically, lots of stuff.

If you are reading this in real time, the hashtag is #sasuke_tbs and you can listen to the producers and others talk about the show here:

Sorry, I'm a bit distracted. Chatting and watching things at the same time.

Here we go!

1st Stage! 105 Seconds to clear.

Let's start with No. 2902 菅谷哲也 Tetsuya Sugaya. He's past the Long Jump! Log Grip coming up. YES! Hedgehog next. Slow but surely! Does he have enough time? Jump Hang (Kai) next. Yes! Itta! Less than 30 seconds left though. Now he's IN the net. Wasting way too much time. Timer going red. He just gets to the 1st Wall as the time goes!

Up next is No. 2903 鳥澤克秀 Katsuhide Torisawa! He blows himself up by doing some weightlifting! But he gets the Long Jump! Still needs to catch his breath though. Log Grip next. He's through! Will he collapse before he even reaches the Hedgehog? Well he reached it but he couldn't get past it!

Next is No. 2011 オラキオ Orakio! Long Jump. He's a comedian! Yes! I think he was gymnast? Or is that just his schtick? Log Grip. Yes! Will he clear the Hedgehog? Yes! But not the Jump Hang Kai!

Let us relive his fail!

We skip ahead to No. 2916 成田童夢 Doumo Narita! He was/is a snowboarder. Long Jump is no problem! Log Grip too! BUT NOT THE HEDGEHOG!

We see No. 2917 脇 雅美 Masami Waki  fail the Hedgehog and No. 2918 清宮裕太 Yuuta Kiyomiya fail the Jumpg Hang and TV Guide guy No. 2919 田中晴輝 Seiki Tanaka fail the Long Jump.

No. 2921 尾野透雅 Yukimasa Ono is the Hibari Kid One who fails the Log Grip! As does No. 2922 やすこ Yasuko! And the third (No. 2923 井田洋人 Hiroto Ida) fails the Long Jump! Hibari is disappointed.

We're all the way up to the Yamada Gundan! Last time! They all failed! But they are back! 

No. 2928 大西由希子 Yukiko Oonishi falls on the Log Grip!
No. 2931 松原慎治 Shinji Matsubara is the first of the Yamada Gundan! He gets the Long Jump! Log Grip up next! Looking good so far. One minute left as he reaches the 1st Wall. And he gets it! And the 2nd is no problem! Tarzan Rope but we go to commercial!


Does he have enough time? Tarzan Rope. But..he hurt his leg? Something happened? Oooh. He clipped the water. 

No. 2932 山本浩茂 Koshige Yamamoto is the next Black Tiger! (Sorry, I skipped over something). Log Grip is no problem. Sega! Hedgehog as they keep showing Yamada yelling at people. Jump Hang! He makes the jump! Up to the 1st Wall. Yes! 2nd Wall coming up. Yes! Lots of time but we also have lots of time for commercials!

Back! Tarzan Rope coming up! Lots of time left, it seems! Keeps his feet out of the water! Lumberjack Climb! And he does it with 18.42 left! Something Yamada hasn't been able to do in years! Tears all around! Indy hug!

No. 2935 日置将士 Masashi Hioki and family are up! And the nico nico boys are all for him! Long Jump straight into commercials!

Back. All the way up to the Jump Hang already! Chatting and tweeting and doing too many things right now! Up the 1st Wall with no problem! And here he comes to the 2nd! Yes! But does he have enough time? Under 30 seconds left. Nico nico guys are unconcerned! Time is going to go red soon. But he's almost there! And yes! With 5.7 left! 

No. 2941 大倉士門 Shimon Ookura is next! He gets the Long Jump! Log Grip coming up. But he clips the water!

No. 2943 鈴木祐輔 Yuusuke Suzuki is next! He has school kids cheering him on! That's never a good sign! But he's all the way through to the Jump Hang! Moving well so far. About fifty seconds left as he gets to the 1st wall. Yes! 2nd Wall. NO! And again! Time is going red! That's it!

See? Never bring kids! of those students looks a bit different.

Bunpei sighting!

No. 2948 永瀬 匡 Tasuku Nagase! Is from Kamen Rider! Which one I don't know. Long Jump and Log Grip are no problem! Neither is the Hedgehog! Jump Hang coming up. NO! Kantan oshiteshimatta!

No. 2949 山本涼介 Ryusuke Yamamoto is an actor! He's slim! Long Jump is no problem! Log Grip is OK! Hedgehog coming up. What's next! Jump Hang. NO! He does the flip into the water!

Hatsuta in the house!

50 have gone! 3 have cleared!

No. 2951 飯島豊久 Toyohisa Iijima is back! He claps to the crowd! And makes the Long Jump! Log Grip coming up. He gives a Bruce Lee whoop! And he's through! Hedghog....NO! Achoooo! Thanks for coming!

No. 2952 石丸謙二郎 Kenjirou Ishimaru is up next and let us be respectful! He's 60! Long Jump. YES! He could probably run circles around me. Log Grip! Jump Hang! I'd probably have a heart attack by now. NO! He touched the water! 

No. 2953 渡邊美香 Mika Watanabe fails the Hedgehog!

No. 2954 澤山瑠奈 Rina Sawayama fails the Log Grip! The women get their own music!

No. 2956 花井瑠美 Rumi Hanai fails the Jump Hang! 

No. 2958 川浦あすか Asuka Kawaura fails the Hedgehog!

No. 2960 天野ジョージ Joji Amano is back! But he fails the Wall!

No. 2962 河野神樹 Kodama Kono fights for right to party! But he catches his leg on the water on the Long Jump! 

No. 2964 割谷泰三 Taizo Wariya is an old school tough guy! But he fails the Jump Hang!

No. 2965 英語教師 洪 恭芹 Kung Cheen-Howng! CLEARS WITH two seconds! But he was mostly digested. Darn.

No. 29 67 川口朋広 Tomohiro Kawaguchi is back! Let's see his father, who looks like he's out of some old timey movie in a box on the screen! Woot. He is blazing through the course! Lots of time as he reaches the Tarzan Rope. 21.5 left! No problem! Kakkoii!

We only see them on the screen but it sure looked like 

No. 2968 上遠野裕也 Yuuya Kadono
No. 2969 星川大我 Taiga Hoshikawa
No. 2970 片伯部浩正 Hiromasa Katakabe 
No. 297高見俊治 Toshiharu Takami
No. 2972 守上大輔 Daisuke Morikami
No. 2973 岸本真弥 Shinya Kishimoto
No. 2974 石川輝一 Terukazu Ishikawa all cleared! But I'm not sure!

No. 2979 樽美酒研二 Kenji Darvish gets a lot of screen time! He's through the Long Jump and Log Grip! Jump Hang coming up. YES! Has some trouble though. Needs to pick up the pace. Or not! 1st Wall. YES! He's tall! Next wall. NO! One more try. YES! He's going to have to hurry though. At the Lumberjack Climb...time is going red! And he falls! Well, that was well worth all that time spent!

The All-Stars are coming up next! 

No. 2980 竹田敏浩 Toshihiro Takeda got digested! We come back and he already cleared!

No. 2981 なかやまきんに君 Kinnikun Nakayama too!

No. 2982 ワッキー Wakky actually gets TV time! At the Hedgehog! Clear! Jump Hang. YES! A bit behind. Be nice to hit the wall at one minute. But he's past the 1st! And then the 2nd! Tarzan Rope coming up! Yes! Lumberjack Climb. Lots of time left! YES! 15 have cleared!

No. 2984 染谷幸喜 Koki Someya, No. 2986 長崎峻侑 Shunsuke Nagasaki and No. 2990 リー・エンチ Lee Enchi are all through!

No. 2991 Drew Dreschel was the winner of the ASEAN Cup! He gets some majorly dramatic music! Long Jump standing up! Log Grip. Hedgehog. Jump Hang! 1st Wall! 2nd Wall! All no problem! Lots of time left! Kantan! 28.9 left!

No. 2992 山本進悟 Shingo Yamamoto is through! 

No. 2993 漆原裕治 Yuuji Urushihara is too!

No. 2994 又地 諒 Ryo Matachi. Was sick! But he's better now! Long Jump. Log Grip. Hedgehog. Yes! Yes! Yes! Lots of time left. 1st Wall coming up. Yes! 2nd Wall. Yup! Tarzan Rope. Going up! Yes! 33.91 left! Is that the record for today? His mom is happy! 

No. 2995 高橋賢次 Kenji Takahashi is also through! With 23.96! And he goes nuts!

No. 2996 菅野仁志 Hitoshi Kanno is through! Wifey and baby are glad!

No. 2997 白鳥文平 Bunpei Shiratori! Is back! Let's look at his history! Long Jump and Log Grip are fine! Hedgehog. He's taking it slow. But he's through! Jump Hang coming up. Nervous. And NO! He didn't get the jump! He slipped on the jump. Masaka no retire!

Three are left!

No. 2998 朝 一眞 Kazuma Asa wanted to win the ASEAN Cup! But he didn't! And now he's back for revenge! For the girl! Or something like that. Commercials.

Back. Long Jump and Log Grip are no problem. Jump Hang. Lots of time left. 1st Wall on the first try! 2nd Wall is no problem either! Lots of time! Tarzan Rope! Lumberjack Climb! 35.55! He's through! Fastest time of the night! Tears are shed!

No. 2999 長野 誠 Makoto Nagano! Is up next! He's not had a good time of it as of late. He doesn't want to look bad in front of his son! Here he goes! Long Jump and Log Grip are no problem! Neither is the Hedgehog! Jump Hagng! No problem! Lots of time. 1st Wall! Yes! 2nd Wall coming up. YES! Can he do it? Tarzan Rope! Lots of time! YES! 12.89!

No. 3000 森本裕介 Yuusuke Morimoto is last! Can he live up to being the 1st new 100 in several years? Sasuke-kun! Commercials while I play the Data game.


Long Jump and Log Grip! Yes and yes. Hedgehog! Is no problem. Jump Hang.YES! He goes right (forgot all about that!). Lots of time left. 1st Wall. 2nd Wall coming up. YES! Almost didn't get it! Tarzan Rope. Yes! Lumberjack Climb next. Lots of time! YES! 11.16! And that's the 1st Stage!

Let's go to the studio!

Note: 2914 cleared but he was not able to compete after that!

2nd Stage

Let's take a look at the stage! Shingo tells the other All-Stars how it's done! Takeda and Nagano share their thoughts. Drew says don't make a mistake! Good advice.

26 have cleared! How about now?

2932. Koshige Yamamoto is first up! Step Salmon Ladder. Seems to be going OK. Or not! He missed a rung! And he's stuck! And that's it! You can't go back down.

110 to clear by the way.

2935. Hioki Masashi is up next! Cross Slider. Going well so far during the Salmon Ladder. Unstable Bridge. Yes! Spider Walk! Spider Drop! He's through both! Backstream coming up. Doing well so far! Yes! I think he has it! 30 kg! 40 kg...Time is going red. 50...2.0 left! Giri giri da! He brings Yuuji to tears.

1 of 2!

2965. Kung Cheen-Howng! Fails the Cross Slider! NO! He let go too early. Damn.

2967. Tomohiro Kawaguchi is up next! Lets look at old timey dad again. Going well so far on the Salmon Ladder. And he's past the Spider part! Backstream up next. Walls are not proving as much of a problem for him. YES! That's two!

Drama up next!

2968. Yuuya Kadono fails the Backstream! 2969. Taiga Hoshikawa fails the walls! 2970. Hiromasa Katakabe fails the Backstream. 2971. Toshiharu Takami the salmon ladder and 2972. Daisuke Morikami times out at the first Wall!

2973. Shiny Kishimoto clears! 

2980. Is Toshihiro Takeda! Cross Slider is OK! Swap Salmon Ladder. NO! He missed! He's out!

2981. Nakayama Kinnikun fails the Cross Slider!

2982. Wakky! Is our last true non-regular joe, I believe. Swap Salmon Ladder. And...He can't hold on!

2984. Koki Someya is out on the first rung of the Swap Salmon Ladder!

2985. Shunsuke Nagasaki is quietly into the 3rd Stage! As is Li! With only a second left!

2991. Drew Dreschel! But first, a word from our sponsors.


Drew on the Swap Salmon Ladder. No problems so far! Up to the Unstable Bridge. Yes! Spider Walk. Spider Drop coming up. Whoa! Almost lost it. But he's through! Back Stream. Almost. Yes! 20 seconds left. Walls should be no problem! And they aren't! And he's through! Extra Jin!

2992. Is Shingo Yamamoto! The Chickens are Revolting! OK so far. Salmon Ladder was no problem. Spider Walk. Spider Drop! OK! Back Stream up next. NO! He didn't take a breath before he went in!

2993. Yuuji Urushihara! He stopped at the Backstream last time. OK so far on the Salmon Ladder. Unstable Bridge. Spider Walk up next. Spider Drop. Needs to hurry if his swimming hasn't improved. Ready. He's in. Here he goes. No problem this time! Needs to hurry though. 1st Wall. Uh oh. NO. Hurry! NO!

2994. Ryo Matachi is up next! He's been doing swimming along with rehab. No problems so far! (Sorry, I was playing the data game). Back Stream next. Yes! Lots of time. 30 seconds seems safe. Under the 1st wall. Under the 2nd. Needs to hurry. YES!

2995. Kenji Takahashi! Kong Express! Cross Slider. Swap Salmon Ladder. NO! He missed and he's out! Wow. That's a big one.

2996. Look at dem guns! It's Hitoshi Kanno. Let's catch up on his life. Swap Salmon Ladder coming up. Going good so far. Unstable Bridge next. Spider Walk. Spider Drop. Back Stream next. No strategy here. He just powers through. Or not! Needs to hurry. He's spent! But he's through!

Commercials before Asa's run.


No major problems. Hopefully he doesn't rush simply to get the best time. 1st Wall. 2nd drops on his leg but he's through to the 3rd. That's it! 10.00 left exactly! Fastest time!

2999. Makoto Nagano! Here he goes! Swap Salmon Ladder. NO! And he misses a rung! That's his night! Mottainai!

3000. Yusuke Morimoto is last up! He goes really high during his Salmon Ladder jumps to make sure he clears. Smart. Speeds through the Spider Walk! Back Stream next. No problems. Coming up to the walls. But let's see some commercials first.

Back. 1st Wall. Needs to hurry. 2nd Wall coming up but the time is going red. Needs to hurry. OUCH! He didn't get it in time! His parents are disappointed. Hitoshi is surprised. Makoto Nagano understands.

3rd Stage

No time limit. Let's take a look at the Stage.

Protip: There's like 90 minutes left in the show.

Let's take a look at the home life of one Masashi Hioki.

Finally, nine are left!

2935. Masashi Hioki up first. Rumbling Dice is no problem! Iron Paddler is no problem! Drum Hopper is new! Let's see how it's supposed to be done. Ooooooh. Oh damn. That looks hard. He goes the first one. And almost slips! Uh oh! But let's take a break first.


Haha. He has great facial expressions. One more set! YES! The first to try is the first to clear! Crazy Cliff Hanger coming up.

1st Ledge. 2nd Ledge. 3rd coming up. Time to jump. NO! Tears are shed.

2967. Tomohiro Kawaguchi is next. Let's take a look at his SASUKE history and olde timey dad. Rumbling Dice is no problem. Iron Paddler is no problm either! Drum Hopper. Whoa! Almost missed on that one. Need to be careful. And he's through! 



Crazy Cliff Hanger. 1st Ledge. 2nd. 3rd. At the jump. YES! He's got it! Vertical Limit next. Does he have anything left in the tank? Almost there. YES! He's to the Pipe Slider! One more to go! He's on the Green Bar of Safety. Here he goes. At the jump. Swing. Swing. YES! HE'S THROUGH! 

Hey, let's look at Shinya Kishimoto lifting a moped.

2973. Shinya Kishimoto is up next! Rumbling Dice. Yes! Struggling a bit on the Iron Paddler. But he's through! No problem with the Drum Hopper though. Crazy Cliff Hanger up next. 

Chubby Gang!

Crazy Cliff Hanger. 1st. 2nd. 3rd. Jump. YES! Vertical Limit next. Here he goes..NO! His left hand slipped off. No tears here though.

2986. Shunsuke Nagasaki gets digested. Because he fails the Crazy Cliff Hanger! Damn.

2990. As does Lee En Chi!

2991. But what about Drew Dreschel? NO!

2994. Ryo Matachi is next. Let's check out Arashida's place! He really should charge.

Rumbling Dice. No problem. After Ryo, only Asa and Hitoshi are left. Still lots of show time to go. Iron Paddler is no problem! Drum Hopper up next. No problem! Crazy Cliff Hanger. 1st. 2nd. 3rd. Jump. Yes! Vertical Limit next. Almost there. Needs to get to the Green Bar of Safety. YES! He's there! "Only" the Pipe Slider left. Here he goes...but let's sell some stuff first!


Pipe Slider. At the jump. Swing. Swing. Swing. YES!

Hitoshi Kanno is next up. Can he join Kawaguchi and Matachi?

2996. Hitoshi Kanno. Rumbling Dice is no problem. Iron Paddler next. And he's through! Drum Hopper up. Yes! This is where he failed last time. Crazy Cliff Hanger up. Will it be revenge time? Here he goes but...time for a break!


At the jump. NO!

Huh? That's weird...voice over narrator sounds different.

Does Asa have his own voice over guy?

2998. Our last man to go! Kazuma Asa! Rumbling Dice and Iron Paddler are no problem. Now on the Drum Hopper. And he's through! He's been stopped at the next one though.

Crazy Cliff Hanger next. He pumps himself up.

1st. Commercial Break.

1st. 2nd. 3rd. Jump next. Here he goes. NO! Boy, Shingo REALLY likes laughing at other people.

Back to the studio as Asa has a mental breakdown.

Final Stage. 30 seconds. 24 meters. Spider Climb 12 m. Rope Climb 12 m. 

Woot. Kawaguchi and Matachi are going all Shield on us.

Kawaguchi up first. Here he goes! Not much time and he's not going up very well. Time is already going red as he reaches the rope. NO! Old Timey Dad is not disappointed.

Commercial break before Ryo's try really gets started.

Back. Here we go! Much faster than Kawaguchi! Could this be it? Slowing down a bit. He's got the rope! Time is going red though! He's not quite there! NO!!! Kuso!!!

Asa cries for Ryo! And that's the show!

1 comment:

jenn said...

I love your recaps - I haven't had a chance to watch Sasuke 30 yet, so I'm ready for the happiness and heartache now. (g) Nagase's from Kamen Rider Wizard - he was the secondary Rider, Kamen Rider Beast. Granted, Wizard was a "meh" Kamen Rider show, so... (grumbles that we need to get Gaku Sano on here for next year's Kamen Rider representative).

Also... Shiny Kishimoto? I know that's just a typo from putting this up insanely fast, but that would be an awesome name for him. (g)