Well, didn't really expect this to be around this time but here we are. It's the SASUKE 33 Liveblog!
This is the 20th year of the show so we get the return of Mr. SASUKE and...well, not much else, really. Good for him, I guess.
Because someone wanted to play with a 360 cam view, we know that the 1st Stage is as follows:
Quadsteps
Rolling Hill
Tie-Fighter
Fishbone (new! imported over from KUNOICHI!)
Double Pendulum
Tackle
Soritatsu Kabe
Tarzan Rope
Lumberjack Climb
SASUKE 33! 90% not celebrity!
Here we go! And let's start with..
No. 1 Nakayama Kinnikun! And he's through the Quadsteps! Slowly down the Rolling Hill. And he gets it! Tie-Figter next. No problem! Fishbone next. And..he almost lost it but he's through! Double Pendulum. Swinging. Swinging. And NO! Tried to grab with his legs!
No. 3 Katsuhide Torisawa is strong! But he blows up as usual and he's done!
SASUKE 1997! 165 countries! 18 versions! Lots of people failing that some sleuths will figure out later!
And now let's get the title logo! And a commercial.
Back.
Here are our hosts, er...Taka and Toshi? I forget. Not really important. Is that Nobuhiko Takada? Mao Asada's sister.
And there's Makoto Nagano in the booth!
No. 8 Satoshi Matsuzawa works for NTT! And he's through the Quadsteps. 128 seconds to clear. Rolling Hill...almost didn't get it! Tie-Fighter...shacho gomennasai! He can't hold on!
No. 9 Syo Terazawa! He works in a sushi restaurant! All the way up to the Fishbone! But no!
The champ, Yusuke Morimoto gives advice to...
No. 13 Kotaro Taniguchi! He's a middle school student like Yusuke was when he started. Rolling Hill. Slowly. And he's through! Tie-Fighter. Sasuke Spray. He can't hold on and the Tie-Fighter leaves without him! Darn. But hey, he has a SASUKE 20th Anniversary Shirt.
Let's fastforward to No. 21. Though he hits the water soon!
28. Syu Yamada! Quadsteps. Rolling Hill...too fast!
Time to take a look at Katsumi Yamada and his Black Tigers. He and two others are participating this time around. Commercials.
Back.
No. 31 Hiroshige Yamamoto! Almost cleared last time! Already up to the Tie-Fighter as Yamada runs along giving advice and encouragement. NO! SEGA! Kore ne.
No. 32 Satoshi Obata! And we ff to the Fishbone. And he's throught! But he missed the trampoline on the Double Pendulum! Shippai!
More of a bad jump than a miss.
No. 33 Katsumi Yamada. Looks like the failure of his Black Tigers is weighing on him. Drink as TBS shows the crying Yamada clip.
Here he goes! Goes fast through the first three steps and slows down on the fourth to get to the Rolling Hill. Slowly on the Rolling Hill. Got it. Tie-Fighter next. NO! He started either losing his grip or leaning back right at the end! He was well back of the Tie-Fighter.
Motainai desu says Makoto Nagano. Ouch. Yamada looks like he wants to go home right now.
No. 34 Yutaka Kan of Golden Bomber. There is Kenji Darvish on the stage with him. Can he redeem himself? Err....Quadsteps and out for Mr. Kan.
Darvish hams it up.
Kan is worried that he'll get edited out.
No. 35 Hikaru Yamamoto is a Johnny's Junior dancer (Snowman?). K. Anyway, here he goes. And he slips on the Steps. Oops. OK, new rule. Celebs can't bring their friends anymore.
Nos. 36 - 39 all experience SASUKE failure of some type!
No. 42 Amano Joji is up! Wait, Iketani got cut? Amano has come close in the past. Up to the Tie-Fighter. Yes! Fishbone. YES! Double Pendulum. One hands it! But gets the otherhand on! And just gets it! Epic. And he almost falls there too! Tackle. He has one shot at the Wall. But he looks blown up. C'mon Joji. No. One more time. NO! Time is going red soon. There it goes! NO!
No. 45 Masashi Hioki! Steps. Rolling Hill. Yes! Tie-Fighter is no problem. And he's through the Fishbone! Double Pendulum....One swing. One more. And he gets it! Tackle is next. Good pace. Doesn't need to rush. Almost a minute left. Gets set. No! One more time. Yes! He could be our first tonight! Ike! May need to hurry a bit. On the Climb. Time going red! And he's through! That's one! Everyone goes nuts.
No. 46 - 51 are our female competitors (including one 2nd Stager from KUNOICHI!) but they can't clear unfortunately.
N0. 52 Seiki Takasui! Works with Makoto Nagano! Sort of. He's the son of the company Nagano works for. And he's up to the Fishbone as Nagano runs along. And Takeda. And he gets it! Double Pendulum next. Yes! Tackle coming up. Maybe one or two shots at the wall. Nagano recommends taking a break. First try! He is almost there! Tarzan Rope next. Needs to just be careful here. Yes! Lots of time next! Yes! He does Nagano proud! What a debut!
Nos. 55, 56, 60, 61, 66, 70, 71 all take a dip!
No. 77. Clears but we just see him at the start and end of the course. Good for him though!
No. 81 Takeru! He dragged his leg and wasted an opportunity last time. Can he make up for it this time around? Already up to the Fishbone while I was blathering. Double Pendulum. Swnging. And he gets it! Tackle. Slowing down but he still has time. Two shots at the wall at most. Getting set. And he gets it! Needs to be careful here. And he's to the Climb! Almost there. And he does it!
Onscreen graphic is asking if there will be a clear rush?
No. 82 Kenji Darvish failed the Tie-Fighter last time. Can he also redeem himself? CMs first.
81 have tried! Four have cleared!
Here we go again with Kenji Darvish. Steps. Rolling Hill. He's moving with determination but still needs to be careful. Through the Tie-Fighter! Through the Fishbowl! Double Pendulum. Swinging. He gets it! Tackle next. Lots of time. Soritatsu Kabe. First try! Tarzan Rope. Almost there...NO! Oh wow. You rarely see that happen. He lost his grip right towards the end. Masaka! Masaka! As he reached for the pipe he lost his grip.
Kuso!
Ouch.
CMs before Wataru Mori.
No. 83 Wataru Mori! Let's see some Sports Danshi. Steps. Hill. Tie-Fighter. And through! Fishbone. And yes! Double Pendulum. Tobu! Swinging. And through! Tackle. A little behind the others in time but still enough time. Soritatsu Kabe. Getting set. YES! Tarzan Rope. Still has lots of time. Just be careful. Lumberjack Climb. Almost time. Going red soon. But he's got it! Wifey is in tears.
No. 85 Masayuki Kikuchi of the SRO also clears! Iketani is happy.
No. 86 Ryoichi Tsukuda is next! All right so far! Time for the Fishbone. Almost loses it at the end! Double Pendulum. And he gets it! Tackle. Making good time. Will he be the first Johnny's guy to clear SASUKE? Soritatsu Kabe. Getting set. First try! Tarzan Rope. Lumberjack Climb. Struggling but he gets it! That's 7!
Kiss! Kiss!
No. 87 Kenji Takahashi fails the Tie-Fighter! And 88. Ryo Matachi fails the Fishbone!
No. 89 Yuuji Urushihara! Oh my gosh! He fails the Rolling Hill of all places!
No. 90 Toshihiro Takeda! Steps. Through. Rolling Hill. Slowly. And he's through! Tie-Fighter next. Gets it! Fishbone. Yes! Double Pendulum coming up. Swinging. And gets it! Tackle next. Lots of time. Soritatsu Kabe. Getting set. Gets it! Oh wow! Tarzan Rope next. Yes! Yes!
90 have tried! 8 have passed!
91. Shingo Yamamoto! Steps. Oh OK. Yuuji landed on the bottom of the Rolling Hill which is just insta-death. Tie-Fighter. And he gets it! Fishbone. Everyone figures he'll fail here.il here. But he doesn't! But he does miss the jump on the Double Pendulum!
No. 92 Hitoshi Kanno! NO! What are you doing man? He was losing his balance and tried to jump and missed!
And 93. Suzuki is out! And 94. Ragivalu! No! What is going on?
No. 95 Kazuma Asa had a surprising fail last time on the Tie-Fighter.
CMs first though.
Asa with a shirt rather than his usual written on kanji.
Rolling Hill. Tie-Fighter. And he's already up on points from last year. Took a while but he's through the Fishbone! And through the Double Pendulum. Tackle. Still has lots of time. Soritatsu Kabe on the first try! Tarzan Rope. Wow. Even with that wait on the Fishbone but he still cleared the 1st Stage with almost 30 seconds left.
No. 96 Drew Dreschel is through!
No. 97 Jun Sato is through too!
And No. 98 Shunsuke Nagasaki!
98 have tried! 12 have cleared! Two more are left.
99. Toshihiro Kawaguchi! Hayai! Rolling Hill. Tonda! Tie-Fighter. Through! Fishbone. Yes! Double Pendulum. NO! He landed too low on the sandbag. Was he rushing? Kuyashii honto ni.
Only one left!
100. Yusuke Morimoto. Steps. Rolling Hill. Slowly. And through! Tie-Fighter. Yes! Fishbone. NO..wait! Safe! Abunakatta! Double Pendulum. And he gets it! Tackle. Lost some time so maybe one shot at the wall. Soritatsu Kabe. And gets it! Tarzan Rope. 20 seconds left. Doesn't need to rush. SASUKE-kun goes on the 2nd Stage!
2nd Stage
Hioki first. Ring Slider is new. But he's through! Salmon Ladder. Now going down. Through. Spider Walk. Spider Drop. And he's through. Backstream. Needs to hurry. Time running out. He's through the Backstream. Reverse Conveyer. He slips! And time runs out!
He thanks his kids but unfortunately, his night is over.
Seiji Takasui is next. Through the Ring Slider. Salmon Ladder. NO! And 77 goes out there too!
Takeru next. Uh-oh. He can't get the second ring over. Now he's got it but he lost time. And now he's having Salmon Ladder problems. And he falls! They are going fast and furious now!
Wataru Mori next. He's through the Ring Slider. Salmon Ladder. Done with up. Down now. And through! Spider Walk. Through! Backstream. He does triathlons so hopefully he can swim. He's through! Reverse Conveyer. He keeps slipping! NO! Time up!
SRO's Kikuchi fails the Salmon Ladder!
Tsukada next. Through the Ring Slider. Salmon...no!
7 have tried! None have cleared! Toshihiro Takeda is up next! After these CMs.
Back. Ring Slider. Salmon Ladder. Some problems at the top but through. On the down. NO! He slipped on the very last rung!
Five are left!
Kazuma Asa next. Ring Slider. Salmon Ladder. Up. Down. And through! Spider Walk. Spider Drop. And through! Backstream next. 50 seconds left. Almost there. And through! Reverse Conveyer. Yes! Wall Lifting but we need CMs apparently!
Back. Time is running out. 1st Wall. 2nd Wall. 3rd Wall. YES! He does it! Dude is pumped.
Drew is through!
And so is Jun Sato!
And Nagasaki!
Yusuke Morimoto is our final contestant! And he's through to the Spider Walk. Backstream. Yes! Reverse Conveyer. And through! Wall Lifting. And through! With the best time tonight!
3rd Stage
TBS does some self-promoting by moving a guy doing one of the evening dramas into the announce booth.
CMs.
Asa up first. Drum Hopper. He got it! Flying Bar next. He takes his time getting ready. NO! He was getting ready for the next jump and moved the bar too much. He really wanted to get to the Crazy Cliff-Hanger.
Drew Dreschel up next! He's been getting digested but no getting around him now. Drum Hopper is no problem! Flying Bar next. Drew was last man standing at SASUKE 2016. Can he do it again? Up to the Sidewinder! One more to go! He's got it! Ultra Crazy Cliffhanger coming up. CMs.
Ad for KUNOICHI! Deadline to apply is May 31st!
Back.
Ultra Crazy Cliffhanger. At the jump. And he gets it! At the moving wall. NO! He missed it? Slipped? Damn.
Jun Sato up next. He failed the Cliff Hanger last time. And through!
Flying Bar. NO! He hit the landing pad with the bar (i.e. didn't get the bar high enough).
Shunsuke Nagasaki up next. Hey, he got married! Good for him. He wants to be a two-time finalist! Through the Drum Hopper. Flying Bar next. He failed here last time. NO! He overshot the next one!
Makoto Nagano gives Yusuke Morimoto some encouragement. CMs.
Yusuke Morimoto is our last hope to see a final stage but since there's like less than five minutes left, I don't think it's very likely.
Drum Hopper. Flying Bar next. NO! He really overshot that one.
Once again, Drew Drechsel is our last man standing but we end with a shot of SASUKE-kun.
I guess until KUNOICHI in the summer!
Storify time!
Sunday, March 26, 2017
Sunday, February 12, 2017
KUNOICHI 2017 Liveblog!
Oh hey! Look what's back!
KUNOICHI 2017!
And we're already into it!
1. Yuko Kuroki! Is a pro boxer! And she's first! Hey, Yuko Mizuno. Rolling Hill. Slowly. And she's clear! Pipe Hold next. And no! She's out!
2. Anna Konno! Rolling Hill. And..slight problem but she's on the other side! And through! Pipe Hold next. Fan service. Slowly. Cut because she took WAY too long. Fish Bone up next. Slowly. Lots time lost. And she doesn't even make the first step! RETIRE!
Oh hey, Katsumi Yamada got a part time job.
3. Kahori Fujiwara up next. She was on SASUKE before. Rolling Hill. And through. Pipe Hold next. Not as slow as Konno. And she's through. Fish Bone next. 70 seconds left. And she's through! Not much time left though. X-Bridge. And she's through! Jump Hang. Tonda...NO! RETIRE!
Oh hey, NOW we go into the intro.
At least we know someone will make the final.
Dig those graphics!
Commercials.
Three Stages. Red Stage, Blue Stage and Final Stage. The Final Stage is a light-uppy.
Quick look at some of the people competing tonight. Lots of celebs and sports people.
Everyone looks at the course. Oh please tell me they let Yamada run the course.
4. Yui Arakawa up next! She teaches at a kindergarten. Rolling Hill. Pipe Hold next. Oh! She used her legs to kick off the back part. Smart. Fish Bone. And she's through! X-Bridge is no problem. But the Jump Haaaang! And...RETIRE!
Yuko Mizuno points out that the Jump Hang and Soritatsu Kabe are SASUKE obstacles.
5. MYW. She breakdances! Rolling...And she's already...RETIREd!
7. Ginga Horie is up next! She doffs her lab coat for extra power. Already up to the Pipe Hold. Slowly. Kowai! She can't keep her balance. Taking a while but she's finally through! Fish Bone. And RETIRE!
9. Ayaka Kitagawa is up next! She also THSOFEP. Rolling Hill. Up the first part. Slowly down the second. Pipe Hold. She pushes off but almost lost her balance. But she's through! Fish Bone. Getting set. And no! RETIRE! Like the lighting.
10. Ayako Rokkaku is up next! So far no one has passed! 140 to clear by the way. Commercials.
Back.
Rokkaku. Jumps up the Rolling Hill! Slowly down. And she's through! Pipe Hold. Doesn't really kick off. But she's almost through. And she's through! Fish Bone next. NO! She got right at the last moment! RETIRE! Kore ha kuyashii!
RED STAGE RETIRE
11. SKE48's Haruka Futamura is up next! She failed the Rolling Hill at SASUKE last time. Can she get at least past that this time?
Here she goes. She THJOFEP by the way. Rolling Hill. And she's through! Let's see that again for whatever reason. Pipe Hold. Halfway through. Slowly. And she's through! Fish Bone next. First step. And RETIRE!
12. Reika Saiki next! She's an idol but also debuted as a pro wrestler recently. She's all buff and stuff, which is her hook. And she's through the Rolling Hill. Fan Service. Fish Bone next. And she takes the RETIRE in the face as she's falling on the Fish Bone.
14. Mayu Ito up next. She's a dancing oneesan. And she's done on the Rolling Hill. RETIRE!
15. Okado something or other (I got her name wrong. Slowly down the other side...but no! RETIRE!
16. Keiko Takemoto next! She's a government worker who also does pole dancing. Rolling Hill. Whoops. Almost went down the other side too quickly. But now she's through! Next is the Pipe Hold and you know the announcer is DYING to say something. Fish Bone up. Timing. And she's through. X-Bridge. Slowly. And she's through! Jump Hang next. NO! Classic Jump Hang fail. RETIRE!
Not so much a bad jump as she couldn't hang on. RED STAGE RETIRE.
18. Yuu Takahashi is up next. She's a model. Rolling Hill. And she's through! She's kinda tall. Slowly down the other side. Kowai kowai! But she's through. Pipe Hold. Kick off. Yes! Almost through. And she's through! Fish Bone next. NO! RETIRE! Great shot of her just lying there in the foam peanuts.
19. Natsumi Taoka is next! She's a pro surfer with an aim towards the 2020 Tokyo Olympics. Rolling Hill! Dangerously down the other side! But she's through. Pipe Hold. Didn't really kick off but she's through. Good pace. Fish Bone next. And..NO! She tried to go fast but got hit at the last step. RETIRE!
20. Rina Sawayama is figure skater! She's done SASUKE a couple of times. Not to exactly great results though. Rolling Hill. Up the first part. And through. Pipe Hold. Fan Service. And she's through! Fish Bone next. No! She wasn't watching her side and got knocked off. RETIRE!
21. Chiyo Suzuki, 22. Aki Ueda get knocked out by the Fish Bone!
23. Ayumi Kataoka! She's a baseball player. She plays on a men's team, I think whereas the other baseball players are in a women's league. Pipe Hold And she's through! Fish Bone next. And she's got it! X-Bridge next. Go fast or you'll fall. She's through! Jump Hang next. And she's got the net! First one tonight. Needs to climb down though. Losing a lot of time though as she's sort of tangled in the net. But she's through! 30 seconds left as she's the first to try the Soritatsu Kabe. Commercials.
Back as we go back in time to her doing the Jump Hang.
SASUKE Spray makes and appearance. First try. NO! NO! Time going red soon. Yes! But time is running out. NO!
Still, the first to clear the Jump Hang and the Soritatsu Kabe tonight!
25. Sakiko Okabe next! Pipe Hold already. Fan Service. Slowly but surely. And she's through! Fish Bone coming up. And she's through! X-Bridge is no problem. Jump Hang next. Yes! Better net form than Kataoka. And she's through! About 30 seconds. Maybe one or two chances on the wall. NO! One more time. Time going red. She's tired. No! Time going red. And RETIRE! Good effort though.
26. Model and pro-wrestler Saki Akai is up next. Go watch DDT everyone. Rolling Hill. Up and down. Down slowly though. Well, thanks to TBS we know she at least reaches the Fish Bone. She covers up in the weirdest Pipe Hold form tonight. But she's through. Fish Bone. NO! The lights go down and RETIRE!
29. and 30 are out! As is 31! And 32! And 33! 0 for 33!
34. Ayaka Sakai is a pole dancer and Samurai Rock Orchestra member. Commercials first.
Rolling Hill. And through! Pipe Hold. She pushes off! Fan Service. And she's through! Fish Bone. And she's through! X-Bridge next. And through! Jump Hang. Yes! Not the greatest net technique so she's losing time. Almost there. And through. Enough time to clear. Soritatsu Kabe. Set. NO! Maybe one more try. YES! Does she have enough time? Cannon Ball next. Time is going red. Needs to hurry. NO! RETIRE! Time up. So close.
35. Yuu Kato is another baseball player! We have yet to see a clear! Here she goes. Rolling Hill. Pushes off on the Pipe Hold. And she's through! Fish Bone next. Other baseball players walk the course to cheer her on. NO! RETIRE!
38. Aya Asahina is next. Slowly down the other side. Pipe Hold. She sort of kicks off. Slowly. Fish Bone next. And no! She gets caught. RETIRE!
RED STAGE RETIRE!
39. Mika Watanabe up next! She's been on SASUKE and is the 1st woman to clear the Soritatsu Kabe. Rolling Hill. Slowly down the other side. Pipe Hold next. Haha. She rides the pole through instead of what everyone else did. Fish Bone next. Yes! Through to the Jump Hang as I was chatting. Sorry! Not being able to go over is kind of killing people (it's too high to go over). But she's through! Maybe one chance on the wall. NO! Not a good run up. YES! She's through! Can she do it? Less than six seconds. Needs...NO! So close.
41. Ami Imamura! She of the Kami Swing. Rolling Hill. Slowly down the other side. And through. Pipe Hold next. She pushes off. Fish Bone up next. Lots of time. And shes's NO! She gets caught RIGHT at the end! Right before she hit the landing platform she gets pulled up.
42. Hikari Izumi up next! She's a parkour..person. Rolling Hill. And through. Pipe Hold. She does the Mika. And through! Fish Bone next. And through! X-Bridge is no problem! Jump Hang. Hayai tempo! Can she do it? Not the best technique but she's zooming ahead. Can she be the first? Commercials.
Back. Hayai tempo. Sort of tied up in the net though. Needs to be careful. And through! Soritatsu Kabe. First try! She's going to do it! Cannon Ball next. Lots of time. YES! 35.22 left! Our first clear!
43. Kana Watanabe. She's a judo player. Can she be our second tonight? Rolling Hill. And through! Pipe Hold. She does the traditional. And through! Fish Bone next. And through! X-Bridge next. And through! Jump Hang! Yes! Lots of time left. Still losing a lot of time though. Maybe two shots at the wall. And only needs one! Will she be the second? Lots of time left! And that's two at 23.86!
That's two!
44. Chen Chu makes it three at 13.30!
45. Ayano Oshima is next! Lets see her epic SASUKE run that ended with her at the top of the Soritatsu Kabe.
Rolling Hill. Pipe Holder up. She does the Mika. Lots of time. Fish Bone next. And she's through! X-Bridge is no problem. Jump Hang! Yes! Lots of time so she can be careful here. And she's through! Soritatsu Kabe. First try! Lots of time! Cannon Ball next. No problem! 49.93 left! She killed the course!
That's four!
47. RENA is next. Rolling Hill. Slowly down the other side. Pipe Hold up. She does the Mika. Fish Bone up. NO! RENA! Haven't said this in a while but RETIRE!
48. Yuki Kawabata is our last baseball player! Rolling Hill. Yes! Pipe Hold. She almost falls off! But she's going slowly. But through! Fish Bone coming up. Through! X-Bridge. Yes! Jump Hang YES! Whoa! Almost lost her grip. Needs to hurry. She has about a minute left. Maybe two shots at the wall. And she gets it! Needs to hurry. Or maybe not. Ad she's through at 16.42!
And two are left!
49. Honami Tsuboi was in the Japan Rhythmic Gymnastics Team at the Beijing Olympics. Rolling Hill. Slowly. And through! Pipe Hold next. She does the traditional so Fan Service. But she's through! Fish Bone. NO! Right at the end! She almost brushed it off.
And now there is only one left! Yuko Mizuno! She made the KUNOICHI final two years in a row.
50. Yuko Mizuno! Lot of pressure on her. Commercials first.
Back.
Rolling Hill. And through! She does the Pipe Hold traditional. And through! Fish Bone. This is NO...WAIT! NO! Right at the end! RETIRE! I like the ladder to get out of the pit.
The Blue Stage is up next! There are five who will try! It's a mixture of SASUKE and KUNOICHI style obstacles.
Hikari Izumi is first up. No timer here. There are two "hooks" to get over the Slide Walk. But she's through! Spider Walk next. And through! Reverse Conveyer up. And she's through! Can she do it? Slant Edge next. First wall is OK. Coming up on the sharper wall. And through! Sponge Bridge next. But commercials first.
Back.
On the Sponge Bridge. Halfway through. Almost there. YES! She's through! Cliff Hanger next. At the gap. YES! Only one more obstacle left! The Waver Bridge. Halfway. Almost there. YES! Clear!
She's going to the Final Stage! The first to try the Blue Stage is our first clear!
Kana Watanabe is FFed all the way up to the Sponge Bridge. NO! RETIRE!
Chin Chuin also RETIREs at the Sponge Bridge. The classic KUNOICHI obstacle is still a killer.
Ayano Oshima is up next. But commercials first.
Back.
Slide Walk. No problem. Spider Walk next. Good speed. And she's through! Reverse Conveyer next. And through! Up to the second wall on the Slant Edge. Almost there. Yes! Sponge Bridge up next. Commercials first.
Back.
Slowly on the Sponge Bridge. NO! Losing it. NO! And she's out! It was a good run though!
Yuki Kawabata gets FFed to the Sponge Bridge. And she breaks the first one as she falls!
So only one goes on to the Final Stage!
Hikari Izumi is our lone KUNOICHI 2017 finalist!
Final Stage
Reporter waiting at the top.
Here we go! Commercials first.
Back.
Here she goes! It's an awkward double ladder and then a rope climb. Time going red! I don't know!..NO! Our final RETIRE!
Still, a great debut at KUNOICHI by Hikari Izumi! Congratulations to her! Hopefully we will see her get another chance at the final!
Commercial for SASUKE 2017!
Anyway, a fun reboot of the KUNOICHI series after a long hiatus. Hopefully it does well in the ratings and we get to see it again soon.
Here's what I was doing on twitter:
https://storify.com/lostinube/kunoichi-2017
KUNOICHI 2017!
And we're already into it!
1. Yuko Kuroki! Is a pro boxer! And she's first! Hey, Yuko Mizuno. Rolling Hill. Slowly. And she's clear! Pipe Hold next. And no! She's out!
2. Anna Konno! Rolling Hill. And..slight problem but she's on the other side! And through! Pipe Hold next. Fan service. Slowly. Cut because she took WAY too long. Fish Bone up next. Slowly. Lots time lost. And she doesn't even make the first step! RETIRE!
Oh hey, Katsumi Yamada got a part time job.
3. Kahori Fujiwara up next. She was on SASUKE before. Rolling Hill. And through. Pipe Hold next. Not as slow as Konno. And she's through. Fish Bone next. 70 seconds left. And she's through! Not much time left though. X-Bridge. And she's through! Jump Hang. Tonda...NO! RETIRE!
Oh hey, NOW we go into the intro.
At least we know someone will make the final.
Dig those graphics!
Commercials.
Three Stages. Red Stage, Blue Stage and Final Stage. The Final Stage is a light-uppy.
Quick look at some of the people competing tonight. Lots of celebs and sports people.
Everyone looks at the course. Oh please tell me they let Yamada run the course.
4. Yui Arakawa up next! She teaches at a kindergarten. Rolling Hill. Pipe Hold next. Oh! She used her legs to kick off the back part. Smart. Fish Bone. And she's through! X-Bridge is no problem. But the Jump Haaaang! And...RETIRE!
Yuko Mizuno points out that the Jump Hang and Soritatsu Kabe are SASUKE obstacles.
5. MYW. She breakdances! Rolling...And she's already...RETIREd!
7. Ginga Horie is up next! She doffs her lab coat for extra power. Already up to the Pipe Hold. Slowly. Kowai! She can't keep her balance. Taking a while but she's finally through! Fish Bone. And RETIRE!
9. Ayaka Kitagawa is up next! She also THSOFEP. Rolling Hill. Up the first part. Slowly down the second. Pipe Hold. She pushes off but almost lost her balance. But she's through! Fish Bone. Getting set. And no! RETIRE! Like the lighting.
10. Ayako Rokkaku is up next! So far no one has passed! 140 to clear by the way. Commercials.
Back.
Rokkaku. Jumps up the Rolling Hill! Slowly down. And she's through! Pipe Hold. Doesn't really kick off. But she's almost through. And she's through! Fish Bone next. NO! She got right at the last moment! RETIRE! Kore ha kuyashii!
RED STAGE RETIRE
11. SKE48's Haruka Futamura is up next! She failed the Rolling Hill at SASUKE last time. Can she get at least past that this time?
Here she goes. She THJOFEP by the way. Rolling Hill. And she's through! Let's see that again for whatever reason. Pipe Hold. Halfway through. Slowly. And she's through! Fish Bone next. First step. And RETIRE!
12. Reika Saiki next! She's an idol but also debuted as a pro wrestler recently. She's all buff and stuff, which is her hook. And she's through the Rolling Hill. Fan Service. Fish Bone next. And she takes the RETIRE in the face as she's falling on the Fish Bone.
14. Mayu Ito up next. She's a dancing oneesan. And she's done on the Rolling Hill. RETIRE!
15. Okado something or other (I got her name wrong. Slowly down the other side...but no! RETIRE!
16. Keiko Takemoto next! She's a government worker who also does pole dancing. Rolling Hill. Whoops. Almost went down the other side too quickly. But now she's through! Next is the Pipe Hold and you know the announcer is DYING to say something. Fish Bone up. Timing. And she's through. X-Bridge. Slowly. And she's through! Jump Hang next. NO! Classic Jump Hang fail. RETIRE!
Not so much a bad jump as she couldn't hang on. RED STAGE RETIRE.
18. Yuu Takahashi is up next. She's a model. Rolling Hill. And she's through! She's kinda tall. Slowly down the other side. Kowai kowai! But she's through. Pipe Hold. Kick off. Yes! Almost through. And she's through! Fish Bone next. NO! RETIRE! Great shot of her just lying there in the foam peanuts.
19. Natsumi Taoka is next! She's a pro surfer with an aim towards the 2020 Tokyo Olympics. Rolling Hill! Dangerously down the other side! But she's through. Pipe Hold. Didn't really kick off but she's through. Good pace. Fish Bone next. And..NO! She tried to go fast but got hit at the last step. RETIRE!
20. Rina Sawayama is figure skater! She's done SASUKE a couple of times. Not to exactly great results though. Rolling Hill. Up the first part. And through. Pipe Hold. Fan Service. And she's through! Fish Bone next. No! She wasn't watching her side and got knocked off. RETIRE!
21. Chiyo Suzuki, 22. Aki Ueda get knocked out by the Fish Bone!
23. Ayumi Kataoka! She's a baseball player. She plays on a men's team, I think whereas the other baseball players are in a women's league. Pipe Hold And she's through! Fish Bone next. And she's got it! X-Bridge next. Go fast or you'll fall. She's through! Jump Hang next. And she's got the net! First one tonight. Needs to climb down though. Losing a lot of time though as she's sort of tangled in the net. But she's through! 30 seconds left as she's the first to try the Soritatsu Kabe. Commercials.
Back as we go back in time to her doing the Jump Hang.
SASUKE Spray makes and appearance. First try. NO! NO! Time going red soon. Yes! But time is running out. NO!
Still, the first to clear the Jump Hang and the Soritatsu Kabe tonight!
25. Sakiko Okabe next! Pipe Hold already. Fan Service. Slowly but surely. And she's through! Fish Bone coming up. And she's through! X-Bridge is no problem. Jump Hang next. Yes! Better net form than Kataoka. And she's through! About 30 seconds. Maybe one or two chances on the wall. NO! One more time. Time going red. She's tired. No! Time going red. And RETIRE! Good effort though.
26. Model and pro-wrestler Saki Akai is up next. Go watch DDT everyone. Rolling Hill. Up and down. Down slowly though. Well, thanks to TBS we know she at least reaches the Fish Bone. She covers up in the weirdest Pipe Hold form tonight. But she's through. Fish Bone. NO! The lights go down and RETIRE!
29. and 30 are out! As is 31! And 32! And 33! 0 for 33!
34. Ayaka Sakai is a pole dancer and Samurai Rock Orchestra member. Commercials first.
Rolling Hill. And through! Pipe Hold. She pushes off! Fan Service. And she's through! Fish Bone. And she's through! X-Bridge next. And through! Jump Hang. Yes! Not the greatest net technique so she's losing time. Almost there. And through. Enough time to clear. Soritatsu Kabe. Set. NO! Maybe one more try. YES! Does she have enough time? Cannon Ball next. Time is going red. Needs to hurry. NO! RETIRE! Time up. So close.
35. Yuu Kato is another baseball player! We have yet to see a clear! Here she goes. Rolling Hill. Pushes off on the Pipe Hold. And she's through! Fish Bone next. Other baseball players walk the course to cheer her on. NO! RETIRE!
38. Aya Asahina is next. Slowly down the other side. Pipe Hold. She sort of kicks off. Slowly. Fish Bone next. And no! She gets caught. RETIRE!
RED STAGE RETIRE!
39. Mika Watanabe up next! She's been on SASUKE and is the 1st woman to clear the Soritatsu Kabe. Rolling Hill. Slowly down the other side. Pipe Hold next. Haha. She rides the pole through instead of what everyone else did. Fish Bone next. Yes! Through to the Jump Hang as I was chatting. Sorry! Not being able to go over is kind of killing people (it's too high to go over). But she's through! Maybe one chance on the wall. NO! Not a good run up. YES! She's through! Can she do it? Less than six seconds. Needs...NO! So close.
41. Ami Imamura! She of the Kami Swing. Rolling Hill. Slowly down the other side. And through. Pipe Hold next. She pushes off. Fish Bone up next. Lots of time. And shes's NO! She gets caught RIGHT at the end! Right before she hit the landing platform she gets pulled up.
42. Hikari Izumi up next! She's a parkour..person. Rolling Hill. And through. Pipe Hold. She does the Mika. And through! Fish Bone next. And through! X-Bridge is no problem! Jump Hang. Hayai tempo! Can she do it? Not the best technique but she's zooming ahead. Can she be the first? Commercials.
Back. Hayai tempo. Sort of tied up in the net though. Needs to be careful. And through! Soritatsu Kabe. First try! She's going to do it! Cannon Ball next. Lots of time. YES! 35.22 left! Our first clear!
43. Kana Watanabe. She's a judo player. Can she be our second tonight? Rolling Hill. And through! Pipe Hold. She does the traditional. And through! Fish Bone next. And through! X-Bridge next. And through! Jump Hang! Yes! Lots of time left. Still losing a lot of time though. Maybe two shots at the wall. And only needs one! Will she be the second? Lots of time left! And that's two at 23.86!
That's two!
44. Chen Chu makes it three at 13.30!
45. Ayano Oshima is next! Lets see her epic SASUKE run that ended with her at the top of the Soritatsu Kabe.
Rolling Hill. Pipe Holder up. She does the Mika. Lots of time. Fish Bone next. And she's through! X-Bridge is no problem. Jump Hang! Yes! Lots of time so she can be careful here. And she's through! Soritatsu Kabe. First try! Lots of time! Cannon Ball next. No problem! 49.93 left! She killed the course!
That's four!
47. RENA is next. Rolling Hill. Slowly down the other side. Pipe Hold up. She does the Mika. Fish Bone up. NO! RENA! Haven't said this in a while but RETIRE!
48. Yuki Kawabata is our last baseball player! Rolling Hill. Yes! Pipe Hold. She almost falls off! But she's going slowly. But through! Fish Bone coming up. Through! X-Bridge. Yes! Jump Hang YES! Whoa! Almost lost her grip. Needs to hurry. She has about a minute left. Maybe two shots at the wall. And she gets it! Needs to hurry. Or maybe not. Ad she's through at 16.42!
And two are left!
49. Honami Tsuboi was in the Japan Rhythmic Gymnastics Team at the Beijing Olympics. Rolling Hill. Slowly. And through! Pipe Hold next. She does the traditional so Fan Service. But she's through! Fish Bone. NO! Right at the end! She almost brushed it off.
And now there is only one left! Yuko Mizuno! She made the KUNOICHI final two years in a row.
50. Yuko Mizuno! Lot of pressure on her. Commercials first.
Back.
Rolling Hill. And through! She does the Pipe Hold traditional. And through! Fish Bone. This is NO...WAIT! NO! Right at the end! RETIRE! I like the ladder to get out of the pit.
The Blue Stage is up next! There are five who will try! It's a mixture of SASUKE and KUNOICHI style obstacles.
Hikari Izumi is first up. No timer here. There are two "hooks" to get over the Slide Walk. But she's through! Spider Walk next. And through! Reverse Conveyer up. And she's through! Can she do it? Slant Edge next. First wall is OK. Coming up on the sharper wall. And through! Sponge Bridge next. But commercials first.
Back.
On the Sponge Bridge. Halfway through. Almost there. YES! She's through! Cliff Hanger next. At the gap. YES! Only one more obstacle left! The Waver Bridge. Halfway. Almost there. YES! Clear!
She's going to the Final Stage! The first to try the Blue Stage is our first clear!
Kana Watanabe is FFed all the way up to the Sponge Bridge. NO! RETIRE!
Chin Chuin also RETIREs at the Sponge Bridge. The classic KUNOICHI obstacle is still a killer.
Ayano Oshima is up next. But commercials first.
Back.
Slide Walk. No problem. Spider Walk next. Good speed. And she's through! Reverse Conveyer next. And through! Up to the second wall on the Slant Edge. Almost there. Yes! Sponge Bridge up next. Commercials first.
Back.
Slowly on the Sponge Bridge. NO! Losing it. NO! And she's out! It was a good run though!
Yuki Kawabata gets FFed to the Sponge Bridge. And she breaks the first one as she falls!
So only one goes on to the Final Stage!
Hikari Izumi is our lone KUNOICHI 2017 finalist!
Final Stage
Reporter waiting at the top.
Here we go! Commercials first.
Back.
Here she goes! It's an awkward double ladder and then a rope climb. Time going red! I don't know!..NO! Our final RETIRE!
Still, a great debut at KUNOICHI by Hikari Izumi! Congratulations to her! Hopefully we will see her get another chance at the final!
Commercial for SASUKE 2017!
Anyway, a fun reboot of the KUNOICHI series after a long hiatus. Hopefully it does well in the ratings and we get to see it again soon.
Here's what I was doing on twitter:
https://storify.com/lostinube/kunoichi-2017
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)