Tonight! It's been a while but it's SASUKE 2011秋 or SASUKE 27 for those of you who like it that way!
While the title of tonight's show is SASUKE 2011 Fall, the show was taped way back in July of this year. The 18th to be exact. At the time Japan was still reeling (and still is in many ways) from the effects of the Tohoku disaster. On the 17th of that month Nadeshiko Japan, Japan's national women's soccer team, shocked the United States to take the Women's World Cup. It was widely seen as a big pick-me up for Japan. Will SASUKE do the same?
It won't but hey, that's what they were trying to say in some of the promotional material (but they didn't make the direct Nadeshiko comparison).
Yeah, I was blathering. Anyway, a few more commercials to go...
2600! Have tried! Takeda! Bunpei! Kane! Yamada!
Only three have ever conquered "Mount Midoriyama!" Akiyama! Nagano! Urushihara! Tonight! Will we see a fourth?
Let us watch some wipe outs (no, not that show) first to get us warmed up.
153 countries! That's a lot of places to be broadcasted! The Americans are invading! And so are the Malaysians! Well, one Malaysian. But they got to meet the (world's?) strongest fisherman Makoto Nagano.
Someone got 24! Kazuma Asa's back! My hands are sore! I didn't warm-up!
SASUKE!
1st Stage!
1. Hitoshi Kanno! Whoa! What the heck? Here he goes! Step Slider. Rolling Escargot up next..he failed this before. And.....He does it! Giant Swing next. Yes! Good form! Jumping Spider...YES! Could we be going 1 for 1? Half-Pipe Attack. Here he goes. WHOA! Had to go back. He's got it! Soritatsu Kabe on one try! Commercial before he completes the next obstacle!
CMs. Promotion for stupid Kimura Takuya drama. I hear it was expensive to make.
Back.
He clears the wall. Spin Bridge..He falls! But he's up again! Yes! Tarzan Rope! He's going to do it! Redemption! Redemption! Time is going red but he's already up! 6.5 left. Yes! Take that! What a way to start!
7. Kyohei Hara is next! He can lift 12 futons! That's strong. Skip ahead to the Rolling Escargot. Yes! Hara Kyoheeiiii! Giant Swing STRAIGHT INTO THE WATER! Ohhh...that was a new transition (a giant SASUKE just did a wipe across the screen).
Masaaki Akata! He should be 24..oh wait.
24. Masaaki Akata! He has glasses! Step Slider. Rolling Escargot coming up. He has kids cheering for him. NO! Shachoooo! The kids in red are his child slave laborers. Work dammit!
13. Umm..Katsuhide Torisawa! He always blows up at the start line! And this time??? He blows the bottle opening schtick. Here he goes. Gets the Step Slider! Crowd is dead because he blew the trick! Rolling Escargot...he takes a header right at the end! Yikes. He cut himself opening the bottle. And he went face first into the platform.
Daichi Hashimoto! He's the son of legendary wrestler Shinya Hashimoto. But he goes pretty much straight into the water!
Daisuke Morikami! He's with the Muscle Musical but he's a pro MTB rider! He just timed out last time! He's number 6 by the way. Here he goes. Through the Slider really fast. Rolling Escargot...Clear! Giant Swing.YES! Jumping Spider...YES! We will have 50 clears tonight! Half-Pipe Attack...YES! Soritatsu Kabe. First try! Oh my. Spin Bridge. YES! He's going to do it! Tarzan Rope. Unless he inadvertently hangs himself with the rope. 25.6. That's two!
Next up...Is a famous person!
Kenjiro Ishimaru! Can he finally do it? Step Slider. He had the most mellow theme song ever. Rolling Escargo...he lost his footing! He's done! Damn.
Yukio Kikuchi! Is a lawyer! Step Slider. Whoops. Not quite. And now he's through. Rolling Escargot. Skin head! And that's it!
QTaro Suzuki is up next! Some schtick first. Burping (and shotgunning a cola) is the key to SASUKE success. Here he goes! And his feet hit the water! So he goes in anyway!
Satomi Kadoi! She's from the Muscle Musical. She completed KUNOICHI! Step Slider. Rolling Escargot...this might be tough. YES! Giant Swing...YES! Jumping Spider. YES! But she's going slowly. She needs to pick it up to clear. Half-Pipe Attack. She looks tired. And that's it!
Lots of people but no results! Will get to this later. That's like five people.
Yoshio Kojima fails the Step Slider as we get back to business.
22. Taizou Sugimura will be up after these messages.
CMs.
Back.
22. Taizou Sugimura! And he wipes out on the first obstacle! Impeach! Impeach!
Oh wow, hey, it's the Ebay winner!
He's from Universit of Central Florida! He paid...three thousand dollars for the right to fail the Rolling Escargot! Thanks for the cash!
Up next is Hidenori Sasaki. He is from Iwate prefecture, one of the areas hit by the tsunami. Step Slider! His SASUKE set was wiped out by the tsunami. And he tries to hold on to the Rolling Escargot but he can't! Great story though.
65. Yosuke Kaneko! He's from the Muscle Musical too. Las Vegas version. Step Slider. He gets a face graphic because he's an M9 boy. Through the Giant Swing! Wow! Jumping Spider...no problem! Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe..First try! Can he be three? Spin Bridge..YES! Tarzan Rope. Lots of time. YES! 34.8!
Kinnkun is up next! He's been away from SASUKE for a long time! He gets to practice on Hidenori Nagasawa's set!
30. Kinnikun Nakayama! He's all buff. Step Slider is no problem! But the Rolling Escargot is! Whoops. Thanks for coming.
Kenji Takahashi! Fails the Spin Bridge! Nagasawa fails the Half-Pipe Attack! As does another female Muscle Musical member!
Our first non-paid for foreigner! Let's look at the coverage SASUKE Malaysia got because 50 percent of the people under 30 are fat! Nagano was there too!
52. Mohammed Farid Isham! He's your SASUKE Malaysia winner! The Cat! Step Slider! Rolling Escargot...Whoops! That's it for Malaysia. Darn. Still. Getting there is the first step!
Aw yeah...Kazuma Asa! He's angry! He's a former SASUKE Trial guy. I love them. Ooohh..Old school Trials. SASUKE ai (love)! He's got passion! Wait...he failed but got picked anyway! Yes!
55. Kazum Asa! Step Slider. Rolling Escargot...YES! Giant Swing. Good job! Jumping Spider. YES! SASUKE Tamashi! Half-Pipe Attack. Whoa! But he's through! Soritatsu Kabe killed him before. First try. NO! Second. NO! One more. YES! C'mon! Kouji Hashimoto sighting! Can he do it? After a word from a sponsor we will find out!
Back. He's gotten past the wall. Spin Bridge! YES! YES! GO MAN GO! Tarzan Rope. Lots of time. YES! 12.1 left! He collapses! He's about to cry. Oh wait..he is crying.
David Rodriguez! He's our first of ten Amercan Ninja Warriors! He's got a mask! I He's all flippy-floppy. Crowd and announcer are a bit subdued. Was doing something else during this part so I'll fill it in later. Sorry David! He's through! 17.3!
Nobody asked you or your opinion Yamada.
An elementary school teacher and someone else I should know fail the 1st Stage!
Paul Kasemir is through1 As is Ryan Stratis! But you knew that! Almost all of them are through! Lots of fast forwarding here...
That's OK because it means we get a Ryo Matachi fluff piece!
62. Ryo Matachi! Step Slider! He's a house painter! He has paint! Rolling Escargot. YES! Giant Swing! Revenge of the UNCLI! Spider Jump. Half-Pipe Attack. YES! He's mom is excited! Soritatsu Kabe. NO! One more try. Taking his time. And gets it! Spin Bridge. Through! Tarzan Rope. Time is going to go red soon...Can he do it? Celebrating before the end zone gets him a 5.92! Flag on the play!
Masami Harashima! Gets set. And he GETS PAST THE STEP SLIDER. Rolling Escargot. WHOA! He loses it but can't do it! Tako-tencho with a zannen!
Hey, it's the world's most famous tako-tencho. Mr. Octopus. Hahaha. Visual joke! Taking his time. Even he knows he won't pass. Slowly on the Step Slider. But he can't get the rope! It's OK! The world loves you anyway.
Okada and the car powered Rolling Escargot! Not eco-friendly if you ask me. But you didn't.
68. Yuichi Okada! His wife is there! Step Slider. Clear! Rolling Escargot...Slowly. Slowly. YES! Training pays off! Giant Swing! Jumping Spider. No problem! Half-Pipe Attack next. The platform throws everyone's timing off. Soritatsu Kabe...first try is a no go. One more time. NO! One more time. A cut brings us to the time going red. His wife is in tears. He'll have to ride the Rolling Escargot home by himself.
Whatever Nagano says, listen to. Whatever Yamada says, do the opposite.
50. Daisuke Naito! He's a former boxing champion. If you do anything on a world stage you will always have something to do in the world of Japanese entertainment. But we got some commercials for you first.
Back.
50. Daisuke Naito! Annnnnnnnnnd...why practice the Escargot when you're just going to fail like that?! Nagano thinks the same. Shingo laughs at someone, as always.
Kouji Hashimoto! Gets a fast forward! As does Naoya Tajima! and Setoda from the Muscle Musical. AND LOTS OF OTHER PEOPLE! RYOMA KATOU M9 forgives you! YOU CAN BE ON TV NOW!
16 out of 80! Yikes!
The chickens...are they revolting? They are! it's Shingo Yamamoto. Or High-Octane Man. Since every SASUKE nickname is either Mr. Something or Something Man.
81. Shingo Yamamoto! Step Slider is OK! Rolling Escargot goes slowly. Takeda sighting! Giant Swing. Hat is still on. Jumping Spider. His shoes are all neon and stuff. Half-Pipe Attack. YES! Soritatsu Kabe. YES! Nagano is HAPPY! Spin Bridge. Lots of time. NO! HE SLIPS AT THE END! Nagano is sad! Why did you rush!
Mottainai. Mata ka yo.
82. Cross country skier Yuichi Onda! He has medals. Step Slider. YES! Let's cut to Yamada for some reason. NO! He lost his grip on the Rolling Escargot!
Oh boy. Katsumi Yamada up next. Hey, his Soritatsu Kabe is high! Like he'll get that far
Alright Yamada, we'll call a truce. If you pass this time, I won't mock you as much anymore. OK?
91. Katsumi Yamada. Here he goes. Step Slider. Yeah. Rolling Escargot. And he's through. Giant Swing. Clear. Jumping Spider. He's up. And is going..but we need a shochu commercial first. I agree TBS. We all need alcohol to get through Yamada.
CMs.
Back. Jumping Spider. Ho-hum. Nagano wastes energy cheering him on. Getting set for the Half-Pipe Attack. Misses the platform..But he's got it. OH. MY. GOD. Soritatsu Kabe. No. Again. He's already getting that body language. Again. Time is running out. Nope. Time is going red. Hey, at least he tried until the end this time.
92. Wakky! His goal is to get past the 1st Stage! His dream is to complete SASUKE! Kue the Kull the Konquerer music! Step Slider. Rolling Escargot next. He played soccer in university. He's through! Giant Swing. Yes! Hmmm..Jumping Spider. YES! A bit slow though. Needs to pick it up. Half-Pipe Attack. Getting set. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe.YES! Hey, he's taller than I expected. Nagano is excited! Yamada! YOU'RE OUT! Wakky is in!
CMs.
Back. He's up the wall! Spin Bridge. YES! HE'S GOING TO DO IT! Tarzan Rope! He needs to hurry a bit though. Time going red soon. Dude, hurry up. YES! 4.28! He's happy!
More athletes fail! Hey! The football guy! Ice Hockey! Naoki Iketani and Ishikawa and Okuyama all cleared sometime during the day! There are four left! Taiwan, Nippon, America!
97. There are eagles. And eagle shooting heroes! It's Lee En Chi. NO! OH MY GOSH! HE HIT THE WATER!
He's too tall!
24 have passed! It's all Americans and Japanese this time around!
98. David Campbell! He's the American Ace! Man, the Rolling Escargot is butt-tastic. Sorry I thought about that line during your run David. Jeez. The TBS announcer is a bit...subdued. Commercials.
Yikes. David just blasts through the course. 44.32! I bet Takeda regrets not competing.
99. Yuuji Urushihara! He's done it before! But he finds interesting ways to fail every time! Step Slider. Rolling Escargot. Move Sport getting lots of promo time tonight. Giant Swing is no problem! Jumping Spider is no problem. He's failed the next before. But he's got the Half-Pipe Attack this time! Soritatsu Kabe on the first try! Not rushing. Spin Bridge! Tarzan Rope coming up. Lots of time left. 15.08! Yes! Effortless.
There is only one left! The man with the most success at SASUKE. The 2nd man to finish the course and de facto spokesman for the show. Makoto Nagano. He's been around the world! Unfortunately, his father passed away recently. Nagano would like to do it for him. He gets the Takeda back slap! Commercials first though.
Back.
There is a battle. It's the last one!
100. Makoto Nagano! Thank You For Supporting Japan! Step Slider. Rolling Escargot. Yes! Jumping Spider. Yes! More Move Sports! Half-Pipe Attack...YES! Soritatsu Kabe. Yes as the crowd chants his name! Gets set. Asami can't look. YES! Tarzan Rope. Lots of time left. He can catch his breath. 9.55! He's through! The wife and everyone else is happy!
2nd Stage!
9 Americans! David's goal is not to be the fastest! 18 Japanese have gotten through! That's a lot of people. I'm sure they will edit the heck out of the next stage.
27 for 27! The fix is in!
Lets get all fiery and stuff.
Hitoshi Kanno is up first. Uh oh. Looks like he hurt himself on his fall. And that's it. Hrm. He already had tape on his arm. Yuuji says stop. And he does.
Daisuke Morikami is up next! Double Salmon Ladder. He misses a rung. But is back on track! At the switch. YES! He's the dark horse! Unstable Bridge. He's already used half the time limit. Announcer talks about his potential. At the 2nd board. He's through! Needs to hurry though! Balance Tank. Needs to go fas...oh wait...Metal Spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin! That's the classic though. Falling on the Metal Spin due to rushing.
29. Naoya Tajima! They edited him before! He turns and twists stuff! Here he goes. NO! Whoops. Hrm. Ryoma Kato was already in his street clothes.
David Rodrigues is next! He has a mask! And is jumpy! Here he goes! Whoops! There he goes too! The announcer is quite concerned about the mask!
20. Kouji Hashimoto! He's waiting! He's made the final before. He failed the Metal Spin last time. Will he be the first Japanese competitor to make it through? Here he goes! To the Double Salmon Ladder. At the switch. YES! Unstable Bridge up next. At the gap. YES! 2nd board. Through! Balance Tank. Got it! Metal Spin...dad is worried. Here he goes. YES! Needs to hurry! Time going red soon. YES! That's one!
45. Yousuke Kaneko of the Muscle Musical is up next! He was the fastest of the Japanese competitors! Double Salmon Ladder. At the switch. NO! He missed it! That was quite dangerous. Rookies, I tells ya.
Let's look at all the writing on Kazuma Asa's back!
55. Kazuma Asa! Aw yeah! Slider Drop is clear! Double Salmon Ladder. Misses a rung. Back on track. At the switch. YES! Two more rungs. NO! He missed the top right rung! Yuuji and Ryo are concerned!
Let us fast forward through the people having trouble with the Double Salmon Ladder! We've got painting to do!
Ryo Matachi! Can he break the curse of the Double Salmon Ladder? At the switch. YES! Needs a few tries to get to the top. He's through! Unstable Bridge. YES! Balance Tank. Whoa. YES! WHOA. Metal Spin. Slowly. Yes! Wall. One! Two! Three!...Time going red. He's going under! YES! YES! 3.4 left! He couldn't get the wall up but he got enough to get under it! That's two!
James McGrath! He's tall! Double Salmon Ladder already! At the switch! Yes! Unstable Bridge. He's blazing through! Relatively. Balance Tank. Metal Spin. YES! Here he goes! Walls. One. Twooo...Three! 18.84! He's through!
By the way, the corner graphic says tonight there will be the 4th Kanzenseiha.
Brent Steffensen is next! Double Salmon Ladder. Yes! Unstable Bridge...clear! Balance Tank...He almost lost it! But he got it back in time! ONLY TO FAIL THE METAL SPIN!
Let's see more people fail the Metal Spin! Ryoma!
92. Wakky is next! He passed the 1st Stage for the first time tonight. Can he do the same here? He's the most famous person left! Double Salm...wait. Commercials.
Back. Wakky getting ready to do the Double Salmon Ladder. Dunno if he can do this. NO! He had it uneven and couldn't get back on track!
87. Terukazu Ishikawa! He failed the Metal Spin at 24! Can he do it this time? Double Salmon Ladder. At the switch. Yes! One more rung to the Unstable Bridge. Struggling a bit. 2nd Board! YES! Balance Tank. Yes! Metal Spin coming up. This is the big one. YES! Time going red soon though. Can he do it? One! Two! Three! YES!..WHOA! 0.06! He cuts it close!
Ryan Stratis finally gets some SASUKE love! BECAUSE HE'S THROUGH DAMMIT! As are some other Americans!
Naoki Iketani fails the Double Salmon Ladder. Six have cleared! 23 have gone! There are four left!
Yoshiyuki Okuyama finally gets some fluff! He's busy during the day so he has to train at night!
96. Yoshiyuki Okuyama! Shingo claps him on! As do Okuyama's kids. Double Salmon Ladder. At the switch. Yes! One more rung. On the Unstable Bridge now. Going to the 2nd board. OK! False landing! He's through! Balance Tank! Metal Spin before the commercial.
Back!
Metal Spin. YES! Lots of time! One! Two! Three! 9.65! That's another one! That's why he has his own facebook page!
Three left! The two finishers and the American Ace.
About an hour and twenty minutes left in the show by the way.
98. David Campbell! Double Salmon Ladder is no problem for this artist musician David Campbell! 2nd Board...false landing. Through! Balance Tank! Ikimashita! Metal Spin. YES! Lots of time left! One! Two! Three! Artist Musician David Campbell!
There are two left! They are nervous!
99. Yuuji Urushihara! He is the leader of the New Generation! Double Salmon Ladder. Up quickly. At the switch. Yes! Unstable Bridge coming up. 2nd Board. YES! Balance Tank. Slowly but surely. Yes! Metal Spin. Lots of time! Yes! One! Two! Struggled there. Three! Time going red but he's through! 7.17!
Nagano rocking the Ninjapan shirt. Yuuji wants to go to the 3rd Stage with Nagano!
100. Nagano has had problems with the Metal Spin before. Let's go over that. Here we go! Slider Drop. Double Salmon Ladder. Up quickly. At the switch. Through! Unstable Bridge. 2nd Board. False landing. Yes! Balance Tank. Slowly. Not a lot of time though. Metal Spin. Needs to hurry. But we don't because we have a commercial!
Lots of SASUKE stuff trending on Japanese twitter but as the sumo special showed us, trending on twitter doesn't always translate into ratings.
Back.
Taking his time. YES! The crowd cheers him on! Time going red! He knows how to do this part! 1.6 left!
3rd Stage.
Ten have reached this far. Can anyone go further?
TBS LOVES DAVID CAMPBELL.
Cue some dramatic music! It is the 3rd Stage people.
Kouji Hashimoto is up first. He disappointed his parents before! Can he make them proud this time? Arm Bike is easy for him. Flying Bar. No time limit here. And through! Ultimate Cliff Hanger next. Getting set. First slant. Second up to the first flat. First gap. Second Gap. YES! Third gap! HAHAHAHA! He did it! And he made it look easy! Commercial.
Back. He did it this time too! Whoops. First ring. Second ring. Gets to the Chain See-Saw. That looks...complicated. NO! Holy crap that looks hard to do. You need to make sure you have balance and distribute your weight. This might favor a lighter competitor.
James McGrath. Arm Bike. Flying Bar. 1st. 2nd. Clear! Ultimate Cliff Hanger next. Slants. First gap. Got it! Second gap..Swinging...NO! Stratis close-up of pain!
Ryan Stratis gets some digest non-love. At the first gap of th...no! He fails the Ultimate Cliff Hanger!
It's Ryo Matachi up next. They clearly did not film enough footage of him since we keep seeing the same stuff over and over. Arm bike is no problem. Flying Bar next. One. Two! Safe! Ultimate Cliff Hanger next. Will he be the second? Through the slants quickly. First gap. Yes! Second. YES! One more to go. YES! He's the second to do it! Jumping Ring next. Second ring. On the ladder of safety. Chain See-Saw next. Here's where Kouji failed. He got it! On to the next ladder of safety. Rope Climb. Here we go. Can he do it? Bar Glider is the last one. Oh boy...At the end...swinging...swinging....swinging...YES! YES! YES! YES!
Let's look at it again. Wow...he just got the Chain See-Saw.
Well, that won't put pressure on everyone else.
Terukazu Ishikawa has reached the 3rd Stage before back in SASUKE 14. Can he join Ryo? Arm Bike. Flying Bar. Whoa! He overswung! Flip into the water! Well, I guess no one thought you could do that.
Paul Kasemir next! He got one hand on the second gap of the Ultimate Cliff Hanger!
Okuyama up next! That looks kind of unsafe training above all that gym equipment. He's been so consistent as of late.
Yoshiyuki Okuyama! Arm Bike. Is no problem! Flying Bar next. NO! He misses the first one! He is suitably shocked. As is the crowd.
Cue some SUPER dramatic music for the last three!
Artist Musician David Campbell! He's the last American left! Arm Bike. Flying Bar. Some SASUKE Spray (tm ME). Ultimate Cliff Hanger. Slants. First Gap. YES! Cross shita! Second gap! America Number One! Almost there..gets a foot on the platform...NO!
And then there were two...
Yuuji Urushihara is up next! Arm Bike. No problem. Flying Bar next. First. Second. Safe! Ultimate Cliff Hanger coming up. Can he be the third to do it? Can he join Ryo? Slants. First a commercial though.
Back.
Slants. Flat. First gap. Second gap coming up. YES! Third. YES! Clear! More pressure on Nagano! Jumping Ring next. Here he goes. To the ladder of safety. Chain See-Saw. YES! He got it! Kanepeki Bal...abunai! The announcer just gave me a heart attack. Rope Climb next. Needs to get to the Green Bar of Safety. Yes! Can he do it? Taking a breather. Here he goes. Up to the second level. Swinging...swinging...swinging...YES! YES! YES! YES! UNCLI RULES THE WORLD.
Sorry. Took off to get overexcited on twitter.
There is one left! He is Makoto Nagano! He is, for many, THE MAN. Can he show these youngsters he's still got what it takes?
Makoto Nagano! Is last! Arm Bike is no problem. Lee has a sasukefan shirt on. 10/10! Flying Bar next. Yes! Ultimate Cliff Hanger up next. He's never attempted this before. Yamamoto and Yamada shout from the sidelines. Slants. Commercials first though.
Back.
Slants. Flat. First gap. Second gap. NO! I think of all...that second gap is the one you need to practice. No interview for him though. It's right into the Final Stage.
Ryo Matachi! Yuuji Urushihara! Will one of them do it?
Let's review the past Final Stages. It's a 20 meter Rope Climb for the Final Stage!
Ryo Matachi is up first. 40 seconds. Here he goes! Commercials.
Back!
5 meters at ten seconds. Looks like he's losing it though. Halfway up. Can he do it. Ten seconds. I don't think he can make it. Needs a burst. No. Almost. NO!! NO!! NO!! NO!!
Was it pressure? Did he not have enough left in the tank? He needed five more seconds I think.
Ryo and Yuuji confer as we get a bit of Yuuji TV love. Oh goodness, the rubber boots thing again.
Whatever.
Here we go.
What a great shot going down the tower.
Damn.
Yuuji Urushihara! Here he goes! But we have eight minutes so a commercial first.
Back.
Here we go (again). Faster pace than Ryo so far. He's halfway up! Can he do it? Time isn't going red yet. YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! 6.7 left! Everyone cheers him on! My goodness.
And there it is...the first person to ever do it twice.
Here's hoping that Yuuji starts to get attention and respect he deserves.
UNCLI bitches.
Showing posts with label Yuuji Urushihara. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Yuuji Urushihara. Show all posts
Monday, October 03, 2011
Friday, January 01, 2010
SASUKE 2010! The Sort of Live Blog! SASUKE2010元日! SASUKE 24!
SASUKE 2010! For the first time ever we are having a New Years Day broadcast! They've promised that something will happen tonight! Will an All-Star complete SASUKE? Will a New Star? Will it be a new face? Another new hero? Will Mr. SASUKE retire? We'll find out tonight!
SASUKE!
In 2009! Two men made it to the Final Stage! Makoto Nagano! Hitoshi Kanno!
That brings us to today! SASUKE 2010!
Celebrities! All-Stars! New Stars! Medalists! They are all there for SASUKE!
Spin that logo!
YOU MUST SIGN IN FIRST! Takeda is walking! Akiyama is staring! Shingo is walking! Nagano is staring! Shingo and Takeda and Nagano are talking!
Everybody! Raise your hands! SASUKE!
1st Stage!
130 meters to the goal!
1. Nobuyuki Kishi 岸宣之! He's first! Steps. OK! New Area! X-Bridge! OK! Log Grip coming up. Drop..NO! That's it for him!
2. Takashi Shiromizu 白水貴. Steps...stuck..wait for it. That's it for him!
3. Jun Itoda of Speed Wagon 井戸田潤! Here he goes. Slowly. Steps. Almost...no..Yes! X-Bridge is no problem. Log Grip. Drop. NO! Speed Wagooooooooooon!
4. Get your apron off man! Kyoichi Oosawa 大澤京一! Steps. OK! X-Bridge. Slipped at the end but he's OK! Log Grip...YES! Jumping Spider...NO!
5. Nakatani Mochi guy! Er..Mitsuo Nakatani 中谷充男!Hayai! Steps..er. Thanks for playing!
Oh jeez. Are Tetsu and Tomo going to do a whole song? Hurry up.
6. Tetsu (Of Tetsu and Tomo). Steps. Whoa...NO! Will he dance? I guess you can do it like that.
7. Katsuhide Torisawa 鳥澤克秀 RUNS INTO THE MONSTER BOX! But that was in the past. Today....NO! Torisawa! Ah. His foot slipped on the last step. Kuyashii ne!
9. No eight? Karateka Ichiro Sugita 杉田一朗 gets off to a bad start when he doesn't break all the plates. Then goes across the steps..slowly. It doesn't help!
10. Dachou Club! ダチョウ倶楽部! Oh jeez. Jimon Terakado 寺門ジモン! Steps! Jimooonnnnnnn!
11. Ryuhei Ueshima 上島竜兵. Don't expect much here. Aw jeez. More schtick. And more schtick. And he whiffs on the first step! OK, they'll do the water pump thing. That was special.
Noriaki Kinoshita 木下典明! He has no number. He plays American Football. He's number 1. That's his jersey number. Steps. X-Bridge. Log Grip..ochimashita! Ochimashita!
Audrey is up next!
13. Masayasu Wakabayashi 若林正恭 of Audrey! Steps! Yes! Barely though. X-Bridge is no problem. Log Grip. Taking his time. Here he goes. And he's out at the drop! Oh my kamisama!
14. Toshiaki Kasuga 春日俊彰 of Audrey! Here he goes. He does the slow step again..then speeds up! NO! Um. Yeah. Thanks guys.
15. Tomomi Arimatsu 有松知美 of the Muscle Musical! Slowly. Steps! Yes! X-Bridge is no problem! Log Grip. NO! She lost it at the very end! Rie Komiya freaks out!
16. Mr. Narcissist Eiko Kano 狩野英孝 is next. In his white suit...that will inevitably get dirty. And there it is! Steps and that's all.
12. Jyunichi Onuma 大沼純一 fails the steps.
Yosakoi guy Yuuto Totani 戸谷勇斗fails the steps too.
A guy doing Tora-san (Gozealla Hisayama ゴジーラ久山) fails at the steps!
Manabu Kishi 岸学 of Dokidoki Camp fails the steps!
44. Choshu Korikki 長州小力 fails!
21. Kojima Yoshio 小島よしお! Does his schtick! Steps! X-Bridge! Log Grip coming up. He failed here before. He's not going to get it. And he doesn't! I'm a genius! He must be cold.
22. Push pull guy Mitsuaki Tanaka 田中光明! Steps. Wai...yes! X-Bridge. Log Grip. Hahaha. He blew up doing his intro. Log Grip! NO! Yarisugi!
23. Spinboy Aichi Ono 大野愛地 of the Muscle Musical. Steps! Yes! X-Bridge. OK! Log Grip. Can he do it? Gets set. Ye..YES! Jumping Spider. Set. Ready. GO! NO! Don't laugh Yukio Iketani.
28. Youhei Uchino 内野洋平! He's a pro BMX rider. Steps! X-Bridge. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider. Can he be the first? NO! Awkward jump leads to an awkward landing. Yes! It's different from bike riding.
30. Genki Sudo 須藤元気! Pops and locks for our pleasure. Steps. Yes! Better than last time! X-Bridge! Log Grip. NO! He was almost there!
31. Ryuusuke Itou 伊藤隆佑! He's a TBS announcer! He was an announcer. I think he quit to become a football player. Steps. X-Bridge. I forget. Log Grip coming up. Wait. He's still an announcer. Log Grip! News 3! Jumping Spider! Whiiiiiiiiiiif! Itouuuuuuuuuu!
35. Adamo-chan アダモちゃん (Toshiro Shimazaki 島崎俊郎). Oh god. Steps and yeah, did you expect more than that? At least he didn't break his head on the steps.
40. Masahiro Inoue 井上正大! He is Kamen Rider Decade! Here he goes. Steps. X-Bridge. Yes! Log Grip. Take that stupid towel off. Log Grip. NO! He fell at the drop. And the fangirls are sad.
Let's see the Slider Jump!
Because Yauso Aoki 青木保夫 has made a model of it! To dream the impossible dream!
Here he goes. Steps. Or rather step.
34. Masami Harashima 原島雅美 hasn't taken off his stage pass. And it doesn't matter! The steps and that's all.
Minoru Kuromochi 倉持稔. Is..going..slowly...on..the steps. Oh jeez, we just saw more of the Takotencho than we ever needed to.
Sachiyo Yamada 山田幸代! She is a pro lacrosse player. And was on KUNOICHI! Steps. X-Bridge..NO! Wait. She's still alive! Yes! Log Grip. Crowd chant. No!
41. Katsuhiko Nagata 永田克彦! He is a silver medalist! Here he goes..but let's go to our first commercial break instead!
CMs.
Back.
Steps! OK! X-Bridge. Log Grip. OK! Can he be the first? Jumping Spider. NO! He didn't get his hands up in time!
Housewife Simonetta Kovacs-Takizawa 滝沢コバーチ・シモネッタ fails the steps. Baker guy Kazuhiro Oikawa 老川和宏 goes on the Log Grip. Mailman Yoshinori Suzuki 鈴木由則 mails it in at the steps. Actor Kazuma Sano 佐野和真 meets his match on the Log Grip and Hori ホリ can't hack it on the Log Grip too.
47. STQER IN THE HOUSE! Tomohiro Kawaguchi 川口朋広! Steps. X-Bridge! Log Grip! He has the talent to do this! Go1 Jumping Spider is no problem! Half-Pipe Attack! Had to go back but he's through! Soritatsu Kabe! YES! ONE TIME! Slider Jump. Kiiroi gate! YES! YES! GO GO GO GO GO! On the net. Kawa-guchi! Jikan aruzou! Tarzan Jump! Rope Ladder! YES YES YES YES! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's one. His wife hasn't turned on the tears yet.
16.10 left according to the digital information!
Woot!
48. Back to the suck with Dandy Sakano ダンディ坂野. Gets! Steps and that's all the gets he's gonna get.
49. Dylan McKay Takeshi Nadagi なだぎ武! Steps. Yes! X-Bridge. Yes! Log Grip. At the drop! And that's it for him. He didn't bring an extra pair of pants.
50. Takehiro Ishikawa 石川雄洋 of the Bay Stars! Steps. Whopos. BLAZES across the X-Bridge. Log Grip. Ishikawa Takehiroooooooooooo! Use your legs on the Log Grip, man. Use your legs.
Let's see those who are left! Soccer players. Brothers and All-Stars!
50 have tried! One has passed! One shall pass!
51. Kenjiro Ishimaru 石丸謙二郎! He's come so close in the past. Can he do it this time? Steps. But let's hit a commercial first.
Back.
Steps! OK! X-Bridge is no problem! Log Grip. Yes! That was weird the way it dropped just now. Jumping Spider. NO! Course Out! He missed his landing then landed in the area right in front of the trampoline. Darn.
55. Harumi Edo エド・はるみ! Let's go! Steps. Wait. Not yet. More schtick. First step! And out!
Oh please. Tomomi Arimatsu 有松知美 got just as far as Komiya last time!
Rie Komiya 小宮理英 is next! Whoa! Almost didn't get through the steps. X-Bridge. Log Grip. Ha! Take that! Tomomi went further.
Kazuhiko Akiyama is up next! It's the Scorpions Mission!
61 have tried! One has passed!
62. Kazuhiko Akiyama 秋山和彦 and his crabs are ready! Steps. Slowly. X-Bridge. OK! Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider coming up. He's had trouble here. YES! Spider Walk! Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Makes sure he doesn't fall on the blank ala Shingo. Soritatsu Kabe. First try. NO! NO! One more chance. NO! Argh. He's blown up. Time is going red. Argh. Time Up! Dammit. It felt good at the beginning. Whoa. He was really close to slipping on the Half-Pipe Attack. Those are some well-prepared eyebrows.
It's monomane time.
Kuruo Hatoyama 鳩山来留夫 is up first! Steps! Almost. NO!!!!!
Yes, we can! Yes, we can! Nocchi ノッチ as Obama is up next! Steps. Yes, we can! X-Bridge. Yes, we can! If the announcer is going to run the joke into the ground so will I. Log Grip. Yes! We can..not! At least the announcer learned how to do it this time. He screwed it up last time.
Veteran comedian Udo Suzuki ウド鈴木 is up next. But first a commercial or two.
Let's shill the keitai website. 315 yen a month!
Back.
Udo Suzuki...Steps. Slowly. Frankenstein monster-esque here. Um. OK. Yes! Fina...oh wait. He couldn't hold on.
Let's see that again.
Keisuke Katou 加藤慶祐 fails the Log Grip. Vegetable stand guy Hirohisa Okuda 奥田洋久 fails the steps. Fishermonger Naoya Akita 秋田直也fails the X-Bridge. Strawberry farmer Shuichi Furusawa 吉澤秀一 fails the Jumping Spider. Actor Takeshi Uchida 内田岳志 fails the Log Grip. Hanawa はなわ fails the steps.
64. Terukazu Ishikawa 石川輝一! He's with the Muscle Musical. Steps! X-Bridge. Log Grip. Yes! He looks like he's wearing old Japanese man underwear. He passed the Jumping Spider by the way. Half- Pipe Attack is no problem! Soritatsu Kabe on the first try. Slider Jump coming up. Yes! He goes over. And DROPS into the net. Ouch. Tarzan Jump! He's got lots of time! Rope Ladder. Yes! 16.21 left!
That's two! Out of 64. And he's number 64! Wow! What are the odds! That was unexpected.
72. Muscle Park staff member Ryouji Higa 比嘉良二 ! He's the SASUKE Park demonstrator! Steps. X-Bridge. Yes! Log Grip. They don't have that there. Yes! Jumping Spider. NO! You have to jump forward. Not straight up into the air! They don't have that at SASUKE Park!
Hosshan ほっしゃん! Is next. Here he goes. Steps. Yes...NO!
Tetsuro Degawa 出川哲朗 is next! And the shirt goes off! Steps and that will be it I bet. Slowly. Again, my genius at work people! That must have been earlier in the day since the All-Stars were still in the stands.
73. Naoya Tajima 田島直弥! He passed last time! Steps. X-Bridge. Log Grip coming up. Yes! Jumping Spider. Yes! A little awkward Spider Walk. Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe coming..FIRST TRY! Wait for me dammit! Slider Jump. Yes! He goes the under. Good boy. Lots of time left. Tarzan Jump. Rope Ladder! Yes! With 20.00 left! He's two for two on the first stage! 20.02 to be exact.
The New Stars are a bit nervous.
Shinsengumi Rien 新撰組リアンis up next.
75. Yoshiya Seki 関義哉 is first. Steps. OK! X-Bridge. Log Grip! JUST MADE IT! Jumping Spider. Ike! NO!
76. Tetsuji Sakakibara 榊原徹士 is up next. Steps. Mr. SASUKE is coming up soon! But first, a commercial.
Back.
Steps. Yes. X-Bridge. Log Grip coming up. Yes! Jumping Spider. He failed here last time. He's up! And. NO! Course Out!
Kouhei Kato 加藤康平 fails the Log Grip. Kota Honma 本間晃汰 fails the Jumping Spider. Ya Takahashi 高橋矢 fails the X-Brdge. Hirokazu Oyama 大山大和 of the Muscle Musical fails the Half-Pipe Attack. Actor Masataka Kubota 窪田正孝 fails the Log Grip.
Hiromitsu Takahashi 高橋博光of the Muscle Musical times out at the Soritatsu Kabe.
78. STQER in the house! Jun Sato 佐藤惇! Steps. SASUKE New Generation! X-Bridge. Log Grip coming up. Yes! Did he hurt his wrist? Jumping Spider! New Generation! Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. One time! Slider Jump next. Yes! He goes over. No listens to me. Lots of time left. Tarzan Jump. Rope Ladder. Lots of time. Don't force it. Slowly. Yes!
78 have tried! Four have passed! Did he hurt his shoulder?
Uh oh. It's Katsumi Yamada 山田勝己bashing time! Let's see him cry and work part-time. Last time was 10! The magic is gone really. Making fun of him is like shooting fish in a barrel. Big fish. Big, dead fish. Not even in a barrel. Just kind of lying on the floor in front of me.
Cue that MUSASHI music. Let the lyrics play man! Let the lyrics play!
What to do if he passes. Do I break out the hard liquor? Do I give up blogging forever? Who will it be? Me or him?
Oooh..so close to the lyrics. Steps. But first, a word from our sponsor.
Back. Steps. Whoa..close. X-Bridge is a clear. Log Grip. And he's through. Jumping Spider. He's through. Half-Pipe Attack. Oh boy. Soritatsu Kabe. First try. NO! Gets set. Hurry up dumb ass. NO! One more chance. And that famous Yamada gumption comes into play as he takes his time.
Kanno is worried. Yuuji is either bored or is thinking the same thing I am right now.
And that's it. OH CRAP! He's died! He's died on the course! A fitting end! Oh wait. He's still breathing. Cue the EXTREMELY dramatic music.
Really, there are no words at this point. Dead. Fish. On. The. Floor.
Nagano comforts Katsumi as he cries. Again. No sympathy from me. I can't help it.
Cue the Kull music! It's Wakky ワッキー!
Steps. As everything went really quiet for some reason. X-Bridge. Log Grip. Yes! Wakky! Wakky! Ita! Jumping Spider. Yes! Spider Walk. Slowly. Half-Pipe Attack. NO! He overshot the platform. Hrm. Ah. His hands slipped off the rope.
80 have tried! Four have passed! It's getting dark!
Cue some fairly dramatic guitar music.
81. Kazuyuki Toda 戸田和幸! He's a soccer player. It's his first time but he gets a theme song. Go figure. Fame. Steps. X-Bridge. Log Grip. NO! He wasn't prepared for the drop. As are many newcomers. Eh, that's life. Will any of the athletes live up to their athletic promise!
The American Monster! The King of Athletes!
82. Paul ANTHONY Terek ポール・Ａ・テレック! Steps. He got a new theme song. X-Bridge. Log Grip. Jesus, he's bigger than the log. Jumping Spider. Yes! Uh oh. Slipping. A little dangerous here. Slowly. I think it's too small for him. Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. No problem! The course is too small for him. It's not fair! Slider Jump. Wait...he's stuck. Uh oh. Uh oh. NO!
Hey, you need to use your momentum. And Paul gets no interview. Damn. That's harsh.
84. Hey! It's Washimi Yuuji 鷲見裕二! Steps. X-Bridge. Log Grip coming up. OK! Jumping Spider. Yes! No problem! Half-Pipe Attack. Overshot. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. NO! First try fails. Yes! Slider Jump up next. Yes! He's at the upper half so he goes over. Lots of time. He won't be getting fastest time though. Tarzan Rope. Rope Ladder. Uh oh. Maybe not that much time. Time is going red. Go! Go! WHOA! .92 left! Girigiri!
85. Koji Hashimoto 橋本亘司is next! Yet another STQer. Steps. X-Bridge. Log Grip. No problem! Jumping Spider. Yes! Hashimoto Koji! Half-Pipe Attack. Soritatsu Kabe. Yes! No problem! Slider Jump. Yes! He's at the top so he goes over. Lots of time left. Tarzan Rope. Rope Ladder! He's going to do it! Yes! With 11.37 left!
Let's see that again so that we can hear more MUSASHI.
87. Monkiki or Monkickey or Akira Omori モンキッキー (大森晃)! Whatever. After a long lay-off he failed the Jumping Spider last time. Steps but let's hit a commercial first.
Back.
Steps. WHAT??????? What happened? Hey, don't laugh until you go Yukio Iketani.
88. Takashi Fukunishi 福西崇史! Steps. X-Bridge. Hayai! Log Grip. Taking a while to get set. NO! Darn. I had high hopes for him. The drop always kills 'em.
Naoki Iketani tries to trick his brother by giving him bad advice.
Check that Japan in the 90s hair he had.
88 have tried! Six have passed!
89. Yukio Iketani 池谷幸雄! He's a former Olympic medalist. Steps. Whoa. Almost lost it. And again! But he's safe. Log Grip. He failed here before. And he couldn't hold on long enough! And there's that famous Naoki Iketani smirk.
Can Mr. Monster Box do it? He's been in a bit of a SASUKE slump. He also looks like he's wearing old man underwear.
90. Naoki Iketani 池谷直樹! Steps. X-Bridge. Whoa. OK. Log Grip. No problem. I think he has more upper body strength than his brother. Jumping Spider. He slips on the Spider Walk. Ouch. Did he just slam his head into the board? Tomomi Arimatsu, Satomi Kadoi and Sae Matsushita of the Muscle Musical react! Let's take a commercial break to ponder that.
Back.
On the Spider Walk. He's OK! Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe! First try. Wait. No. No! Don't give up! Gads, Yukio is SUCH an older brother.
Let's get some commentary from Yukio.
Iketani timed out by the way.
Hey, it's the theme to Legend of the Condor Heroes!
92. Lee En Chi リー・エンチ! Steps. X-Bridge. Log Grip coming up. Jumping Spider. Yes! Spider Walk. Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe! Sasuga desu! Slider Jump. Lots of time. Yes! At the half-way where I think they should go under but hey, I'm not the one there. Tarzan Rope. Lots of time. Whoa. And a light tap gets him through!
4.13 left!
Up next! New Hero Yuuji Urushihara! Cue the Grand Theme from Blood +!
93. Yuuji Urushihara 漆原裕治! Steps. X-Bridge. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider up next. Yes! Nice compact jump. Half-Pipe Attack coming up. Chotto Abunai! But it's the shoes! First try on the Soritatsu Kabe! Slider Jump. He's at the upper half so he goes over. Lots of time. Tarzan Rope. Is it raining? Huh, he took the rope stand with him! And that's it! With 24.35 left!
94. Kenji Takahashi 高橋賢次! The Kongo Exress! Yikes, already up to the Log Grip. No problem. Jumping Spider! He lands with a solid thud. Spider Walk. Half-Pipe Attack coming up. Whoa! He almost missed. Soritatsu Kabe! First try! Slider Jump. He goes over because he can. Can he beat Yuuji's time? Don't think so. Tarzan Rope. Rope Ladder. He'll be just short. 24.06 left!
95. Yoshiyuki Okuyama 奥山義行! He's unconcerned with time! But first, some commercials.
Back.
Steps! OK! X-Bridge has proved very little challenge. Log Grip. OK! Jumping Spider. Yes! Half-Pipe Attack. Yes..wait..YES! Soritatsu Kabe coming up. Yes! Slider Jump. Yes! He's deceptively tall. He goes over. He kind of just reached out for it. Tarzan Rope. Still lots of time. But he shouldn't dawdle. Yes! No problems! And the crowd goes mild! They are probably cold. 6.15 left!
Takeda makes Shingo yelp from the slap on the back.
Lets go back in time as the chickens revolt.
96. Shingo Yamamoto 山本進悟! Last time was the first time in a long time for Shingo to get to the 3rd Stage. Can he do it again tonight? Steps. X-Bridge. Log Grip coming up. Yes! Jumping Spider. Yes! Spider Walk. Half-Pipe Attack as the Yama-moto chant starts. First time overshoots! Again! Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. Not much time. No! One more time! Yes! GO GO GO GO! Slider Jump. Yes! NO! DON'T GO OVER! HURRY UP! GO! Time is going red. NO! NO!
Well, at least he didn't get wet.
Shut up Sato.
Last time Hiromichi Sato finally got through to the 2nd Stage. Can he do it again?
96 have tried! 10 have passed!
97. Hiromichi Sato 佐藤弘道! Steps. X-Bridge. Log Grip coming up. No problem. Jumping Spider. And he's through! Well, he's sort of through. We'll have to wait for this commercial to find out.
Back.
Half-Pipe Attack. No problem! Lots of time. Getting set. Soritatsu Kabe on the first try! Slider Jump. He goes over since he landed high. Faffing about in the net. Tarzan Rope. Someone is going nuts in the background. Rope Ladder. And that's it as the time goes red!
8.55 left!
Interview time as I use the wonders of technology to check on the people I missed.
97 have tried! 11 have succeeded!
98. Toshihiro Takeda 竹田敏浩 and his orange pants! Steps. X-Bridge is not so extreme. Log Grip. Jumping Spider. I think he's trying to beat Yuuji's time. Jumping Spider is good! Half-Pipe Attack is next. Yes! Almost loses his balance on the plank. Soritatsu Kabe! Slider Jump! Lots of time but he won't beat Yuuji's time. Faffing about in the net. You can hear Nagano exhorting him on. Rope Ladder. Time will go red soon. Yes! 6.19 left!
Let's relive something we saw a minute ago. That's...a lot of labeling on his shirt.
And let's take a look at one of our finalists from 23.
99. Hitoshi Kanno 菅野仁志! Pow pow! Bzzap! Steps. Bang! X-Bridge. Log Grip. Boom! Jumping Spider. Half-Pipe Attack. Whoops. Try again! Uh oh. Lots of lost time. Soritatsu Kabe. NO! NO! NO! Uh oh. What's going on here? NO! Masaka! Masaka! Masaka! Yes! But does he have time? Jikan ga arimasen! Hurry! GO GO GO GO! DON'T GO..Oh. Good boy. NO! Time is going red! Hurry! No. NO! NO! NO!
Wow. That definitely deserves some dramatic music.
Let's relive his failure and shame. Yuuji tries to comfort him.
Nagano can't think of anything else except what he's going to do. Good man. Focus. You've got a job to do.
Cue Last Battle. Because it is the last man to run the 1st Stage tonight! Makoto Nagano!
100. Makoto Nagano 長野誠! Steps. X-Bridge is no longer EXTREME! Commercial first though.
Back!
100. Makoto Nagano! Steps. X-Bridge. Log Grip. OK! Jumping Spider up next. Yes! And he zips th....WHAT! WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?!? Oh wow. I know the man is human but...wow.
Yuuji can't believe. The wife can't believe it. Takeda can't believe it. His foot slipped right at the end. No. He missed the platform coming down. I think he was thinking ahead. Wow.
Baka mitai misu desu! Wow.
That was unexpected. So both of the last Finalists are out.
Let's watch as everyone warms up and gets ready for the 2nd Stage. Yuuji image trains on the Unstable Bridge.
2nd Stage
47. Tomohiro Kawaguchi 川口朋広 is up first! 85 seconds to clear. Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder is no problem! Unstable Bridge. At the second. Yes! NO! NO! He pulled Yuuji! He got through but didn't get his balance before trying to land.
Yuuji is all like "Dude, I soooo told you."
64. Terukazu Ishikawa 石川輝一! He's the last hope of the Muscle Musical (Sato doesn't count.) Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder is no problem. Unstable Bridge. At the second plank. Halfway but does he have time? Yes! Balance Tank. Yes! Metal Spin. NO! The classic Metal Spin fail! The mohawk is down! The mohawk is down!
73. Naoya Tajima 田島直弥! You're up next! Last time he failed the Salmon Ladder. Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder. Good rhythm. Unstable Bridge. Note that the Salmon Ladder goes straight into the Bridge. Bridge is no problem! Balance Tank is no problem! Metal Spin. WILL BE AFTER THESE MESSAGES!
Back.
Metal Spin. YES! Wall Lifting. 30! 40! 50! Yes! 19.5 left!
That's one! The show can go on!
78. Jun Sato 佐藤惇! He's a third-year high school student! Pass here and you'll go back to school in style! Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder. He failed here last time. The stoppers are gone from the Salmon Ladder bar. Doesn't have the rhythm. Time is running out. NO! Go back to school in shame boy! Shame!
84. Yuuji Washimi 鷲見裕二! He couldn't get past the Salmon Ladder before. Can he do it here? Good rhythm. He's through! Up to the Unstable Bridge. Second plank. Get set. Yes! Balance Tank. Yes! Metal Spin. NO! Washimiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Metal Spin de retire! Darn.
He got past the Ladder only to get tripped up later.
85. Koji Hashimoto 橋本亘司! Let's see him at work first! Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder. YES! Unstable Bridge. Second Plank......YES! YES! Balance Tank up next. Yes! Metal Spin coming up but hey, why don't we take a commercial first?
Back!
Metal Spin coming up. Whoa! Yes! 30! 40! 50! Yes! 8.2 left! Mom and Dad are proud!
Two are through so far!
92. Lee En Chi リー・エンチ is up next! Rocking his old school hair! Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder. Good rhythm. Whoops! Back on track. Unstable Bridge. Yes! Balance Tank coming up. Whoa. Don't do that dude! Metal Spin. Yes! Wall Lifting coming up. 30! 40! 50! Yes! 10.4 left!
That's three!
93. Did he just refer to Yuuji as a leader? Yuuji Urushihara 漆原裕治! Is next! Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder. Rhythm. Revenge on the Bridge? Second plank. Slowly. Yes! Balance Tank next. Needs to pick it up though. Metal Spin. Yes! Go! GO! GO! GO! 30! 40! 50! Yes! 6.5 left!
The STQers cheer Yuuji on!
94. Kongu Takahashi 高橋賢次! He's never failed the 2nd Stage before! Downhill Jump, Salmon Ladder and Unstable Bridge are no problem! Neither is the Balance Tank! And then the Metal Spin! And score one for the Old School as Takahashi is through! 32.11 left! Wow!
95. Yoshiyuki Okuyama 奥山義行 is up next! That's four in a row for those keeping score at home. And five overall. Weird music for Okuyama. Downhill Jump. Yes! Good timing. Salmon Ladder. Yes! Unstable Brige up next. Taking his time. Yes! Did it cost him? Nice nipples there Okuyama. Balance Tank. Metal Spin coming up. Yes! Go! 30! 40! 50! 14.9 left!
Well now.
Next up is Hiromichi Sato! Let's see him train in some back alley. Do the neighbors know?
97. Hiromichi Sato 佐藤弘道! The kids are there. Go to bed! Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder up next. Hrm. Struggling a bit. But he's through. Unstable Bridge. Second plank. And...he's through. Balance Tank up next. Does he have enough time? Metal Spin. Not much time. He's go..NO! He lost it!
And he disappoints his family once again.
Toshihiro Takeda 竹田敏浩 is up next. But let's see Akiyama and Yamada time out at the Soritatus Kabe. And then Shingo time out at the Tarzan Rope. And the most surprising, Nagano banging the heck out of his head on the Jumping Spider.
98. Toshihiro Takeda! Must do this for the sake of the All-Stars! And to avenge the death of his sifu! Avenge his death Takeda! Avenge his death! Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder. Unstable Bridge. Here he goes. Second plank. Yes! Clear! Balance Tank. Yes! Metal Spin. Look at that smile. Yes! 30! 40! 50! Yes! 10.7 left! All-Stars shindenai!
Let's take a look at the 3rd Stage. The 2nd Obstacle is new, the Rope Junction. No conjunctions involved I guess.
No time limit here.
The Magnificent Seven!
73. Naoya Tajima 田島直弥 is up first! Arm Rings is no problem. Rope Junction. At the middle. And he's through! Yes! Devil Steps up next. Good pace. At the turn. And he's through! SASUKE Spray time. Shin-Cliff Hanger up next. SASUKE Next Generation. At the slant. Yes! He's through! This is the tough part. The Jumping Bars into the Hang Climbing with no time to rest. One. Two. Three. Four! And now to the Hang Climbing. Ikeru ikeru! Good pace. No legs on the Spider Flip climb. At the jump now. Can he do it? Don't stick your leg out too far. Yes! He's got it! And It's time for the Gliding Ring. Here we go. NO! Pay attention to what you are doing man. Time to rest. On the Green Bar of Safety. But first, a commercial.
Back.
Even the All-Stars are amazed at his ability to not use his legs going into the Spider Flip. That's some serious arm time.
Back to the Green Bar of Safety. Here we go. Wait. DON'T STAND UP! NO! NO! D'oh.
Mottainai (What a waste) is expressed by Nagano and Takeda.
That ever observant soul Kongu Takahashi points out that he didn't get the ring over the stopper before trying to start. Rookie mistake.
He apologizes to the girlfriend after that.
85. Koji Hashimoto 橋本亘司 is up next! Arm Rings. OK! Rope Junction next. OK! Mom and Dad cheer him on! Devil Steps. At the turn. And he's through! Shin-Cliff Hanger coming up. Here he goes. At the slant. Yes! Jumping Bars next. Taking his time. One! Two! Three! Four! Hang Climbing next. He can use his feet if he wants to. OK! No problem! Spider Flip plank. Struggling a bit though. Ganbare! Yes! Mom can't watch! Yes! Going to the Gliding Ring! Wow! What a run. On the Green Bar of Safety. Probably should have shaved his pits. Everyone's watching man. Take your time. Take your time. CMs.
Back.
Here he goes. Swinging. Swinging. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow. Somehow I don't think he was in the pool.
Mom and dad are happy! Everyone is pumped!
Mom is crying!
That's one!
92. Lee En Chi リー・エンチ is next! Arm Rings. Rope Junction. Irony would be for the climber to fail here. At the middle. OK. Devil Steps. He's looking pretty blown up already. Devil Steps. At the turn. OK! Shin-Cliff Hanger is next. Nagano cheers him on. Yuuji is anxious. He's up next. This is where he stopped last time. At the slant. YES! WOW! NO PROBLEM! Jumping Bars coming up. Then the Hang Climbing which he shouldn't have a problem with. One. Two! Three! Four! Hang Climbing. But hey, let's take a break first.
CMs.
Back.
Hang Climbing. He shouldn't have a problem here but can he get through the Spider Flip plank? Slowly. Slowly. Yes. At the rest area. This is taking it's toll on him. Getting set. Here he goes. Ready. Turning. YES! WHOA WHOA! YES! Abunakatta! Yes! Can there be two? We're not playing by Highlander rules here, people.
Here he goes. Swinging. Swinging. Swinging. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMIGOD!
And now! Let's have an interview in multiple languages! Yes!
I believe Lee is the first foreign finalist since Kane Kosugi and Jordan Shortlegs in SASUKE 8.
Looks like the older folks are a bit nervous seeing these youngsters going the Final. Get off their lawn!
Let's see Yamada blow off Yuuji again and relish the situation, shall we?
93. Yuuji Urushihara 漆原裕治! He's the leader of the new generation of SASUKE stars! Arm Rings. That's a lot of advertising on his shirt. Rope Junction. Yes! Devil Steps. At the turn. OK!
Takeda keeps covering his ears when the announcer says that he is the last hope of the All-Stars.
Shin-Cliff Hanger coming up. At the slant. Mondai arimasen! Stretching and some SASUKE Spray. Jumping Bars. One. Two. Three. Four! Hang Climbing coming up. That running jump he took on the bars was a bit scary. Hang Climbing is no problem. Spider Flip coming up. Wow. Takeda has to be feeling the pressure. Rest time. Here he goes. Or not. Take your time. We're in no rush. YES! Although he almost slipped like Lee. But he's to the Green Bar of Safety! Kitsui ne! Getting the ring ready. Here he goes. But let's take a break first.
Swinging. Swinging. Swinging. Swinging. HERE HE GOES! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!
Nagano goes to relax Takeda. The STQers go nuts. The All-Stars golf clap.
Wow.
Three to the Final Stage? And Takeda is really really feeling the pressure.
94. Kongu Takahashi 高橋賢次 is up next! Arm Rings are no problem. Rope Conjunction up next. Woot. That was fast. Koji gets lots of airtime now that he's a finalist. Devil Steps. At the turn. No problems here. Shin-Cliff Hanger coming up. Break time for Kongu. At the slant. He does the patented Kongu Cross.
Jumping Bars coming up. One. Two. Three. Four! Straight into the Hang Climbing. Through! Getting to the Spider Flip. Wow. TBS is setting us up for something or nothing from Takeda. He looks like he's going to cry. Getting ready. Yes! Woooo.. Everyone is JUST doing it tonight. Now on the Green Bar of Safety. Does he have it in him? Gliding Ring time.
Swinging. Swinging. Commercial.
Back.
Swinging. Swinging. Swinging. Swinging. YES! YES YES YES YES YES YES YES! Kongu will sex the landing pad right now! WHO WANTS TO SEX KONGU?
"The Love Theme of Kongu" plays while he is interviewed. His wife is in tears. And now Kongu is in tears.
Meanwhile, the torture of Toshihiro Takeda goes on.
Yoshiyuki Okuyama is up next. His son says that "maybe" he can do it. Thanks son. You get no allowance. For all eternity.
95. Yoshiyuki Okuyama 奥山義行 and his nipples are back! Arm Rings are no problem. Rope Junction. At the middle. OK. Ikeru! Devil Steps are no problem! Shin-Cliff Hanger is next. At the slant. YES! OK, time to change the Shin-Cliff Hanger. Everyone today has owned it. SASUKE IS HIS OLYMPICS. This point cannot be made enough. Jumping Bars. One! Two! Three! Four! Hang Climbing. Getting up to Spider Flip. This was where he failed last time. Rest time. Damn he's tall. Revenge time. Getting ready. But time for some commercials.
Back.
Getting ready to tackle the gap. YES! He did it! Getting to the Green Bar of Safety. Would he be the oldest finalist ever? Time to rest. Take your time. Take your time. Here he goes.
Swinging. Swinging. Swinging. Swinging. Swinging. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOLY CRAP.
Wow.
Cue the dramatic music.
Takeda: "Iketai ni isshouni."
Let's relive the highlights as Takeda gets ready.
C'mon Toshihiro! You can do it!
Let's review all the things that have happened up until now. We've all seen it so I won't bother recapping it.
Takeda is the last hope of the All-Stars, the Rebel Alliance, the forces of good, etc. etc.
Only one man is left. Will he do it? More than anyone else, I think the crowd will go absolutely nuts if he makes it. I know I will.
98. Toshihiro Takeda 竹田敏浩. Arm Rings are no problem. SASUKE Spray. Rope Junction coming up. At the middle. Safe! Devil Steps up next. Here he goes. At the turn. Yes! Shin-Cliff Hanger coming up. No matter what happens to him, people are going to cry I think. Shin-Cliff Hanger. Oo..history. He was the first person to do it? At the slant. WHOA! Almost didn't do it but he did!
Jumping Bars. One. Two. Three. Four! Yes! Hang Climbing! Avenge your sifu! Ikeru! Ikeru! Daijoubu! The crowd is ALL behind him. Spider Flip revenge time. Come on. Come on. Don't give up. Don't give up. You can do it. You can do it.
CMs.
Back. Let's move back a bit to the Jumping Bars. At the Hang Climbing. Now getting to the Spider Flip plank. Oh god. This is crazy. I don't think the shouting is helping people.
Dig deep Toshihiro. Dig deep. This is painful. Yes. Yes. Yes. Slowly. Slowly. Slowly. Slowly. Slowly. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.
That was quite possibly the most emotional run of Shin SASUKE. Eh, screw it. It was the most emotional run.
I think he just wants to throttle the announcers for putting so much pressure on him.
I can't really describe this. Nagano takes it harder than Takeda.
Final Stage
Five! Have made it! One has been there before. Yuuji Urushihara was the first to break through to the Final Stage in the new era.
And whoever completes SASUKE will get a Nissan Fuga! Fuga?
85. Koji Hashimoto 橋本亘司 is first. He was a gymnast in high school and is currently a gym instructor. This is his first attempt at the Final Stage.
40 seconds to complete.
Someone has fired up the soundtrack to Avalon.
Is the question not who but how many? Crazy.
Here he goes! Up the ladder. Not quite fast though. Don't know if he can do it. At rope with twenty seconds.
Commercials. We have a lot of time to kill people.
Back.
Here he goes. On the Heavenly Ladder. At the GRope with twenty seconds. Time is going red. Can he do it? 5..4..3..2..1. NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I think you need at least 25 seconds on the rope to have a real chance.
Ouch. Well, that's one. We're still in business though. Four more to go!
92. Taiwan's Lee En Chi リー・エンチ! Let's go back in time. He was Taiwan's first and so far only competitor. Well he was there the first time with someone else but we don't like to talk about him anymore. Since then he's carried the hopes of Taiwan and JET TV on his back and has done quite well. This is his first final.
Here he goes. Up the ladder. Commercial.
Back.
Up the Heavenly Ladder. Going good so far. Going Good. A little bit ahead of Koji. Go. Go. Go. Go. Time is going red. Go. Go. Go. NO! Time up! Not quite as far as Koji.
93. Yuuji Urushihara 漆原裕治! He's now been proclaimed the leader of the new generation of SASUKE stars. He's been here before. Can that make a difference?
I tell you right now that I'm biased and I'm rooting for Yuuji more than any of the other finalists.
Here he goes! Up the ladder. Good pace! Hayai! Yes! At the rope at 25 seconds. CMs.
Back.
Back at the bottom. Heavenly Ladder. Here he goes. Wow, good pace. He hits the GRope at around 25 seconds. Can he do it? Here he goes. Time is red. YES YES YESYESY ESYEYSYSSSSSSSSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I'm going to cry.
Minna arigatou!
Holy cow.
3.7 seconds left!
Congratulations YUUJI URUSHIHARA!
Oh. By the way, there are two other competitors left.
94. Kenji Takahashi 高橋賢次 is next! Man, it's hard to concentrate. Up the ladder. Good time. Just behind Yuuji. Can he do it? Not sure about his rope climbing skills. But he's a vet. Can there be two? Sorry Kongu, it's kind of anti-climatic right now, don't you think? Commercials.
Back.
Heavenly Ladder. Pretty good pace up the ladder. Urgh. Lost time on the transfer. Still, he has more upper body than most. Time is going red! GO! GO! GO! GO! NO! NO! That's depressing watching him being lowered down like that.
Ouch. He got tangled in the safety rope. It happens. Good job though Kongu. He'll be back in "The Revenge of Kongu."
One more to go.
95. Yoshiyuki Okuyama 奥山義行 is our final competitor. He was an All-Japan level sprinter. SASUKE is his Olympics!
Vaguely MUSASHI-like music for Okuyama.
Here he goes! Up the ladder! CMs.
Back.
Heavenly Ladder. Can he do it? A bit slow. Urgh. I don't know if he can do it. He's a bit slow. Time is going red. NO! NO!
Damn. There's the Lowering of Failure. The family is disappointed. Especially since that little guy over there did it.
Wow. Let's relive his failure.
Yay! STQers win! STQers win!
The giant key and car are Yuuji's!
And that's it! This spring. Look for the SASUKE renewal!
Congratulations to our third ever SASUKE winner, Yuuji Urushihara!
SASUKE!
In 2009! Two men made it to the Final Stage! Makoto Nagano! Hitoshi Kanno!
That brings us to today! SASUKE 2010!
Celebrities! All-Stars! New Stars! Medalists! They are all there for SASUKE!
Spin that logo!
YOU MUST SIGN IN FIRST! Takeda is walking! Akiyama is staring! Shingo is walking! Nagano is staring! Shingo and Takeda and Nagano are talking!
Everybody! Raise your hands! SASUKE!
1st Stage!
130 meters to the goal!
1. Nobuyuki Kishi 岸宣之! He's first! Steps. OK! New Area! X-Bridge! OK! Log Grip coming up. Drop..NO! That's it for him!
2. Takashi Shiromizu 白水貴. Steps...stuck..wait for it. That's it for him!
3. Jun Itoda of Speed Wagon 井戸田潤! Here he goes. Slowly. Steps. Almost...no..Yes! X-Bridge is no problem. Log Grip. Drop. NO! Speed Wagooooooooooon!
4. Get your apron off man! Kyoichi Oosawa 大澤京一! Steps. OK! X-Bridge. Slipped at the end but he's OK! Log Grip...YES! Jumping Spider...NO!
5. Nakatani Mochi guy! Er..Mitsuo Nakatani 中谷充男!Hayai! Steps..er. Thanks for playing!
Oh jeez. Are Tetsu and Tomo going to do a whole song? Hurry up.
6. Tetsu (Of Tetsu and Tomo). Steps. Whoa...NO! Will he dance? I guess you can do it like that.
7. Katsuhide Torisawa 鳥澤克秀 RUNS INTO THE MONSTER BOX! But that was in the past. Today....NO! Torisawa! Ah. His foot slipped on the last step. Kuyashii ne!
9. No eight? Karateka Ichiro Sugita 杉田一朗 gets off to a bad start when he doesn't break all the plates. Then goes across the steps..slowly. It doesn't help!
10. Dachou Club! ダチョウ倶楽部! Oh jeez. Jimon Terakado 寺門ジモン! Steps! Jimooonnnnnnn!
11. Ryuhei Ueshima 上島竜兵. Don't expect much here. Aw jeez. More schtick. And more schtick. And he whiffs on the first step! OK, they'll do the water pump thing. That was special.
Noriaki Kinoshita 木下典明! He has no number. He plays American Football. He's number 1. That's his jersey number. Steps. X-Bridge. Log Grip..ochimashita! Ochimashita!
Audrey is up next!
13. Masayasu Wakabayashi 若林正恭 of Audrey! Steps! Yes! Barely though. X-Bridge is no problem. Log Grip. Taking his time. Here he goes. And he's out at the drop! Oh my kamisama!
14. Toshiaki Kasuga 春日俊彰 of Audrey! Here he goes. He does the slow step again..then speeds up! NO! Um. Yeah. Thanks guys.
15. Tomomi Arimatsu 有松知美 of the Muscle Musical! Slowly. Steps! Yes! X-Bridge is no problem! Log Grip. NO! She lost it at the very end! Rie Komiya freaks out!
16. Mr. Narcissist Eiko Kano 狩野英孝 is next. In his white suit...that will inevitably get dirty. And there it is! Steps and that's all.
12. Jyunichi Onuma 大沼純一 fails the steps.
Yosakoi guy Yuuto Totani 戸谷勇斗fails the steps too.
A guy doing Tora-san (Gozealla Hisayama ゴジーラ久山) fails at the steps!
Manabu Kishi 岸学 of Dokidoki Camp fails the steps!
44. Choshu Korikki 長州小力 fails!
21. Kojima Yoshio 小島よしお! Does his schtick! Steps! X-Bridge! Log Grip coming up. He failed here before. He's not going to get it. And he doesn't! I'm a genius! He must be cold.
22. Push pull guy Mitsuaki Tanaka 田中光明! Steps. Wai...yes! X-Bridge. Log Grip. Hahaha. He blew up doing his intro. Log Grip! NO! Yarisugi!
23. Spinboy Aichi Ono 大野愛地 of the Muscle Musical. Steps! Yes! X-Bridge. OK! Log Grip. Can he do it? Gets set. Ye..YES! Jumping Spider. Set. Ready. GO! NO! Don't laugh Yukio Iketani.
28. Youhei Uchino 内野洋平! He's a pro BMX rider. Steps! X-Bridge. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider. Can he be the first? NO! Awkward jump leads to an awkward landing. Yes! It's different from bike riding.
30. Genki Sudo 須藤元気! Pops and locks for our pleasure. Steps. Yes! Better than last time! X-Bridge! Log Grip. NO! He was almost there!
31. Ryuusuke Itou 伊藤隆佑! He's a TBS announcer! He was an announcer. I think he quit to become a football player. Steps. X-Bridge. I forget. Log Grip coming up. Wait. He's still an announcer. Log Grip! News 3! Jumping Spider! Whiiiiiiiiiiif! Itouuuuuuuuuu!
35. Adamo-chan アダモちゃん (Toshiro Shimazaki 島崎俊郎). Oh god. Steps and yeah, did you expect more than that? At least he didn't break his head on the steps.
40. Masahiro Inoue 井上正大! He is Kamen Rider Decade! Here he goes. Steps. X-Bridge. Yes! Log Grip. Take that stupid towel off. Log Grip. NO! He fell at the drop. And the fangirls are sad.
Let's see the Slider Jump!
Because Yauso Aoki 青木保夫 has made a model of it! To dream the impossible dream!
Here he goes. Steps. Or rather step.
34. Masami Harashima 原島雅美 hasn't taken off his stage pass. And it doesn't matter! The steps and that's all.
Minoru Kuromochi 倉持稔. Is..going..slowly...on..the steps. Oh jeez, we just saw more of the Takotencho than we ever needed to.
Sachiyo Yamada 山田幸代! She is a pro lacrosse player. And was on KUNOICHI! Steps. X-Bridge..NO! Wait. She's still alive! Yes! Log Grip. Crowd chant. No!
41. Katsuhiko Nagata 永田克彦! He is a silver medalist! Here he goes..but let's go to our first commercial break instead!
CMs.
Back.
Steps! OK! X-Bridge. Log Grip. OK! Can he be the first? Jumping Spider. NO! He didn't get his hands up in time!
Housewife Simonetta Kovacs-Takizawa 滝沢コバーチ・シモネッタ fails the steps. Baker guy Kazuhiro Oikawa 老川和宏 goes on the Log Grip. Mailman Yoshinori Suzuki 鈴木由則 mails it in at the steps. Actor Kazuma Sano 佐野和真 meets his match on the Log Grip and Hori ホリ can't hack it on the Log Grip too.
47. STQER IN THE HOUSE! Tomohiro Kawaguchi 川口朋広! Steps. X-Bridge! Log Grip! He has the talent to do this! Go1 Jumping Spider is no problem! Half-Pipe Attack! Had to go back but he's through! Soritatsu Kabe! YES! ONE TIME! Slider Jump. Kiiroi gate! YES! YES! GO GO GO GO GO! On the net. Kawa-guchi! Jikan aruzou! Tarzan Jump! Rope Ladder! YES YES YES YES! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's one. His wife hasn't turned on the tears yet.
16.10 left according to the digital information!
Woot!
48. Back to the suck with Dandy Sakano ダンディ坂野. Gets! Steps and that's all the gets he's gonna get.
49. Dylan McKay Takeshi Nadagi なだぎ武! Steps. Yes! X-Bridge. Yes! Log Grip. At the drop! And that's it for him. He didn't bring an extra pair of pants.
50. Takehiro Ishikawa 石川雄洋 of the Bay Stars! Steps. Whopos. BLAZES across the X-Bridge. Log Grip. Ishikawa Takehiroooooooooooo! Use your legs on the Log Grip, man. Use your legs.
Let's see those who are left! Soccer players. Brothers and All-Stars!
50 have tried! One has passed! One shall pass!
51. Kenjiro Ishimaru 石丸謙二郎! He's come so close in the past. Can he do it this time? Steps. But let's hit a commercial first.
Back.
Steps! OK! X-Bridge is no problem! Log Grip. Yes! That was weird the way it dropped just now. Jumping Spider. NO! Course Out! He missed his landing then landed in the area right in front of the trampoline. Darn.
55. Harumi Edo エド・はるみ! Let's go! Steps. Wait. Not yet. More schtick. First step! And out!
Oh please. Tomomi Arimatsu 有松知美 got just as far as Komiya last time!
Rie Komiya 小宮理英 is next! Whoa! Almost didn't get through the steps. X-Bridge. Log Grip. Ha! Take that! Tomomi went further.
Kazuhiko Akiyama is up next! It's the Scorpions Mission!
61 have tried! One has passed!
62. Kazuhiko Akiyama 秋山和彦 and his crabs are ready! Steps. Slowly. X-Bridge. OK! Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider coming up. He's had trouble here. YES! Spider Walk! Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Makes sure he doesn't fall on the blank ala Shingo. Soritatsu Kabe. First try. NO! NO! One more chance. NO! Argh. He's blown up. Time is going red. Argh. Time Up! Dammit. It felt good at the beginning. Whoa. He was really close to slipping on the Half-Pipe Attack. Those are some well-prepared eyebrows.
It's monomane time.
Kuruo Hatoyama 鳩山来留夫 is up first! Steps! Almost. NO!!!!!
Yes, we can! Yes, we can! Nocchi ノッチ as Obama is up next! Steps. Yes, we can! X-Bridge. Yes, we can! If the announcer is going to run the joke into the ground so will I. Log Grip. Yes! We can..not! At least the announcer learned how to do it this time. He screwed it up last time.
Veteran comedian Udo Suzuki ウド鈴木 is up next. But first a commercial or two.
Let's shill the keitai website. 315 yen a month!
Back.
Udo Suzuki...Steps. Slowly. Frankenstein monster-esque here. Um. OK. Yes! Fina...oh wait. He couldn't hold on.
Let's see that again.
Keisuke Katou 加藤慶祐 fails the Log Grip. Vegetable stand guy Hirohisa Okuda 奥田洋久 fails the steps. Fishermonger Naoya Akita 秋田直也fails the X-Bridge. Strawberry farmer Shuichi Furusawa 吉澤秀一 fails the Jumping Spider. Actor Takeshi Uchida 内田岳志 fails the Log Grip. Hanawa はなわ fails the steps.
64. Terukazu Ishikawa 石川輝一! He's with the Muscle Musical. Steps! X-Bridge. Log Grip. Yes! He looks like he's wearing old Japanese man underwear. He passed the Jumping Spider by the way. Half- Pipe Attack is no problem! Soritatsu Kabe on the first try. Slider Jump coming up. Yes! He goes over. And DROPS into the net. Ouch. Tarzan Jump! He's got lots of time! Rope Ladder. Yes! 16.21 left!
That's two! Out of 64. And he's number 64! Wow! What are the odds! That was unexpected.
72. Muscle Park staff member Ryouji Higa 比嘉良二 ! He's the SASUKE Park demonstrator! Steps. X-Bridge. Yes! Log Grip. They don't have that there. Yes! Jumping Spider. NO! You have to jump forward. Not straight up into the air! They don't have that at SASUKE Park!
Hosshan ほっしゃん! Is next. Here he goes. Steps. Yes...NO!
Tetsuro Degawa 出川哲朗 is next! And the shirt goes off! Steps and that will be it I bet. Slowly. Again, my genius at work people! That must have been earlier in the day since the All-Stars were still in the stands.
73. Naoya Tajima 田島直弥! He passed last time! Steps. X-Bridge. Log Grip coming up. Yes! Jumping Spider. Yes! A little awkward Spider Walk. Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe coming..FIRST TRY! Wait for me dammit! Slider Jump. Yes! He goes the under. Good boy. Lots of time left. Tarzan Jump. Rope Ladder! Yes! With 20.00 left! He's two for two on the first stage! 20.02 to be exact.
The New Stars are a bit nervous.
Shinsengumi Rien 新撰組リアンis up next.
75. Yoshiya Seki 関義哉 is first. Steps. OK! X-Bridge. Log Grip! JUST MADE IT! Jumping Spider. Ike! NO!
76. Tetsuji Sakakibara 榊原徹士 is up next. Steps. Mr. SASUKE is coming up soon! But first, a commercial.
Back.
Steps. Yes. X-Bridge. Log Grip coming up. Yes! Jumping Spider. He failed here last time. He's up! And. NO! Course Out!
Kouhei Kato 加藤康平 fails the Log Grip. Kota Honma 本間晃汰 fails the Jumping Spider. Ya Takahashi 高橋矢 fails the X-Brdge. Hirokazu Oyama 大山大和 of the Muscle Musical fails the Half-Pipe Attack. Actor Masataka Kubota 窪田正孝 fails the Log Grip.
Hiromitsu Takahashi 高橋博光of the Muscle Musical times out at the Soritatsu Kabe.
78. STQER in the house! Jun Sato 佐藤惇! Steps. SASUKE New Generation! X-Bridge. Log Grip coming up. Yes! Did he hurt his wrist? Jumping Spider! New Generation! Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. One time! Slider Jump next. Yes! He goes over. No listens to me. Lots of time left. Tarzan Jump. Rope Ladder. Lots of time. Don't force it. Slowly. Yes!
78 have tried! Four have passed! Did he hurt his shoulder?
Uh oh. It's Katsumi Yamada 山田勝己bashing time! Let's see him cry and work part-time. Last time was 10! The magic is gone really. Making fun of him is like shooting fish in a barrel. Big fish. Big, dead fish. Not even in a barrel. Just kind of lying on the floor in front of me.
Cue that MUSASHI music. Let the lyrics play man! Let the lyrics play!
What to do if he passes. Do I break out the hard liquor? Do I give up blogging forever? Who will it be? Me or him?
Oooh..so close to the lyrics. Steps. But first, a word from our sponsor.
Back. Steps. Whoa..close. X-Bridge is a clear. Log Grip. And he's through. Jumping Spider. He's through. Half-Pipe Attack. Oh boy. Soritatsu Kabe. First try. NO! Gets set. Hurry up dumb ass. NO! One more chance. And that famous Yamada gumption comes into play as he takes his time.
Kanno is worried. Yuuji is either bored or is thinking the same thing I am right now.
And that's it. OH CRAP! He's died! He's died on the course! A fitting end! Oh wait. He's still breathing. Cue the EXTREMELY dramatic music.
Really, there are no words at this point. Dead. Fish. On. The. Floor.
Nagano comforts Katsumi as he cries. Again. No sympathy from me. I can't help it.
Cue the Kull music! It's Wakky ワッキー!
Steps. As everything went really quiet for some reason. X-Bridge. Log Grip. Yes! Wakky! Wakky! Ita! Jumping Spider. Yes! Spider Walk. Slowly. Half-Pipe Attack. NO! He overshot the platform. Hrm. Ah. His hands slipped off the rope.
80 have tried! Four have passed! It's getting dark!
Cue some fairly dramatic guitar music.
81. Kazuyuki Toda 戸田和幸! He's a soccer player. It's his first time but he gets a theme song. Go figure. Fame. Steps. X-Bridge. Log Grip. NO! He wasn't prepared for the drop. As are many newcomers. Eh, that's life. Will any of the athletes live up to their athletic promise!
The American Monster! The King of Athletes!
82. Paul ANTHONY Terek ポール・Ａ・テレック! Steps. He got a new theme song. X-Bridge. Log Grip. Jesus, he's bigger than the log. Jumping Spider. Yes! Uh oh. Slipping. A little dangerous here. Slowly. I think it's too small for him. Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. No problem! The course is too small for him. It's not fair! Slider Jump. Wait...he's stuck. Uh oh. Uh oh. NO!
Hey, you need to use your momentum. And Paul gets no interview. Damn. That's harsh.
84. Hey! It's Washimi Yuuji 鷲見裕二! Steps. X-Bridge. Log Grip coming up. OK! Jumping Spider. Yes! No problem! Half-Pipe Attack. Overshot. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. NO! First try fails. Yes! Slider Jump up next. Yes! He's at the upper half so he goes over. Lots of time. He won't be getting fastest time though. Tarzan Rope. Rope Ladder. Uh oh. Maybe not that much time. Time is going red. Go! Go! WHOA! .92 left! Girigiri!
85. Koji Hashimoto 橋本亘司is next! Yet another STQer. Steps. X-Bridge. Log Grip. No problem! Jumping Spider. Yes! Hashimoto Koji! Half-Pipe Attack. Soritatsu Kabe. Yes! No problem! Slider Jump. Yes! He's at the top so he goes over. Lots of time left. Tarzan Rope. Rope Ladder! He's going to do it! Yes! With 11.37 left!
Let's see that again so that we can hear more MUSASHI.
87. Monkiki or Monkickey or Akira Omori モンキッキー (大森晃)! Whatever. After a long lay-off he failed the Jumping Spider last time. Steps but let's hit a commercial first.
Back.
Steps. WHAT??????? What happened? Hey, don't laugh until you go Yukio Iketani.
88. Takashi Fukunishi 福西崇史! Steps. X-Bridge. Hayai! Log Grip. Taking a while to get set. NO! Darn. I had high hopes for him. The drop always kills 'em.
Naoki Iketani tries to trick his brother by giving him bad advice.
Check that Japan in the 90s hair he had.
88 have tried! Six have passed!
89. Yukio Iketani 池谷幸雄! He's a former Olympic medalist. Steps. Whoa. Almost lost it. And again! But he's safe. Log Grip. He failed here before. And he couldn't hold on long enough! And there's that famous Naoki Iketani smirk.
Can Mr. Monster Box do it? He's been in a bit of a SASUKE slump. He also looks like he's wearing old man underwear.
90. Naoki Iketani 池谷直樹! Steps. X-Bridge. Whoa. OK. Log Grip. No problem. I think he has more upper body strength than his brother. Jumping Spider. He slips on the Spider Walk. Ouch. Did he just slam his head into the board? Tomomi Arimatsu, Satomi Kadoi and Sae Matsushita of the Muscle Musical react! Let's take a commercial break to ponder that.
Back.
On the Spider Walk. He's OK! Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe! First try. Wait. No. No! Don't give up! Gads, Yukio is SUCH an older brother.
Let's get some commentary from Yukio.
Iketani timed out by the way.
Hey, it's the theme to Legend of the Condor Heroes!
92. Lee En Chi リー・エンチ! Steps. X-Bridge. Log Grip coming up. Jumping Spider. Yes! Spider Walk. Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe! Sasuga desu! Slider Jump. Lots of time. Yes! At the half-way where I think they should go under but hey, I'm not the one there. Tarzan Rope. Lots of time. Whoa. And a light tap gets him through!
4.13 left!
Up next! New Hero Yuuji Urushihara! Cue the Grand Theme from Blood +!
93. Yuuji Urushihara 漆原裕治! Steps. X-Bridge. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider up next. Yes! Nice compact jump. Half-Pipe Attack coming up. Chotto Abunai! But it's the shoes! First try on the Soritatsu Kabe! Slider Jump. He's at the upper half so he goes over. Lots of time. Tarzan Rope. Is it raining? Huh, he took the rope stand with him! And that's it! With 24.35 left!
94. Kenji Takahashi 高橋賢次! The Kongo Exress! Yikes, already up to the Log Grip. No problem. Jumping Spider! He lands with a solid thud. Spider Walk. Half-Pipe Attack coming up. Whoa! He almost missed. Soritatsu Kabe! First try! Slider Jump. He goes over because he can. Can he beat Yuuji's time? Don't think so. Tarzan Rope. Rope Ladder. He'll be just short. 24.06 left!
95. Yoshiyuki Okuyama 奥山義行! He's unconcerned with time! But first, some commercials.
Back.
Steps! OK! X-Bridge has proved very little challenge. Log Grip. OK! Jumping Spider. Yes! Half-Pipe Attack. Yes..wait..YES! Soritatsu Kabe coming up. Yes! Slider Jump. Yes! He's deceptively tall. He goes over. He kind of just reached out for it. Tarzan Rope. Still lots of time. But he shouldn't dawdle. Yes! No problems! And the crowd goes mild! They are probably cold. 6.15 left!
Takeda makes Shingo yelp from the slap on the back.
Lets go back in time as the chickens revolt.
96. Shingo Yamamoto 山本進悟! Last time was the first time in a long time for Shingo to get to the 3rd Stage. Can he do it again tonight? Steps. X-Bridge. Log Grip coming up. Yes! Jumping Spider. Yes! Spider Walk. Half-Pipe Attack as the Yama-moto chant starts. First time overshoots! Again! Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. Not much time. No! One more time! Yes! GO GO GO GO! Slider Jump. Yes! NO! DON'T GO OVER! HURRY UP! GO! Time is going red. NO! NO!
Well, at least he didn't get wet.
Shut up Sato.
Last time Hiromichi Sato finally got through to the 2nd Stage. Can he do it again?
96 have tried! 10 have passed!
97. Hiromichi Sato 佐藤弘道! Steps. X-Bridge. Log Grip coming up. No problem. Jumping Spider. And he's through! Well, he's sort of through. We'll have to wait for this commercial to find out.
Back.
Half-Pipe Attack. No problem! Lots of time. Getting set. Soritatsu Kabe on the first try! Slider Jump. He goes over since he landed high. Faffing about in the net. Tarzan Rope. Someone is going nuts in the background. Rope Ladder. And that's it as the time goes red!
8.55 left!
Interview time as I use the wonders of technology to check on the people I missed.
97 have tried! 11 have succeeded!
98. Toshihiro Takeda 竹田敏浩 and his orange pants! Steps. X-Bridge is not so extreme. Log Grip. Jumping Spider. I think he's trying to beat Yuuji's time. Jumping Spider is good! Half-Pipe Attack is next. Yes! Almost loses his balance on the plank. Soritatsu Kabe! Slider Jump! Lots of time but he won't beat Yuuji's time. Faffing about in the net. You can hear Nagano exhorting him on. Rope Ladder. Time will go red soon. Yes! 6.19 left!
Let's relive something we saw a minute ago. That's...a lot of labeling on his shirt.
And let's take a look at one of our finalists from 23.
99. Hitoshi Kanno 菅野仁志! Pow pow! Bzzap! Steps. Bang! X-Bridge. Log Grip. Boom! Jumping Spider. Half-Pipe Attack. Whoops. Try again! Uh oh. Lots of lost time. Soritatsu Kabe. NO! NO! NO! Uh oh. What's going on here? NO! Masaka! Masaka! Masaka! Yes! But does he have time? Jikan ga arimasen! Hurry! GO GO GO GO! DON'T GO..Oh. Good boy. NO! Time is going red! Hurry! No. NO! NO! NO!
Wow. That definitely deserves some dramatic music.
Let's relive his failure and shame. Yuuji tries to comfort him.
Nagano can't think of anything else except what he's going to do. Good man. Focus. You've got a job to do.
Cue Last Battle. Because it is the last man to run the 1st Stage tonight! Makoto Nagano!
100. Makoto Nagano 長野誠! Steps. X-Bridge is no longer EXTREME! Commercial first though.
Back!
100. Makoto Nagano! Steps. X-Bridge. Log Grip. OK! Jumping Spider up next. Yes! And he zips th....WHAT! WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?!? Oh wow. I know the man is human but...wow.
Yuuji can't believe. The wife can't believe it. Takeda can't believe it. His foot slipped right at the end. No. He missed the platform coming down. I think he was thinking ahead. Wow.
Baka mitai misu desu! Wow.
That was unexpected. So both of the last Finalists are out.
Let's watch as everyone warms up and gets ready for the 2nd Stage. Yuuji image trains on the Unstable Bridge.
2nd Stage
47. Tomohiro Kawaguchi 川口朋広 is up first! 85 seconds to clear. Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder is no problem! Unstable Bridge. At the second. Yes! NO! NO! He pulled Yuuji! He got through but didn't get his balance before trying to land.
Yuuji is all like "Dude, I soooo told you."
64. Terukazu Ishikawa 石川輝一! He's the last hope of the Muscle Musical (Sato doesn't count.) Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder is no problem. Unstable Bridge. At the second plank. Halfway but does he have time? Yes! Balance Tank. Yes! Metal Spin. NO! The classic Metal Spin fail! The mohawk is down! The mohawk is down!
73. Naoya Tajima 田島直弥! You're up next! Last time he failed the Salmon Ladder. Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder. Good rhythm. Unstable Bridge. Note that the Salmon Ladder goes straight into the Bridge. Bridge is no problem! Balance Tank is no problem! Metal Spin. WILL BE AFTER THESE MESSAGES!
Back.
Metal Spin. YES! Wall Lifting. 30! 40! 50! Yes! 19.5 left!
That's one! The show can go on!
78. Jun Sato 佐藤惇! He's a third-year high school student! Pass here and you'll go back to school in style! Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder. He failed here last time. The stoppers are gone from the Salmon Ladder bar. Doesn't have the rhythm. Time is running out. NO! Go back to school in shame boy! Shame!
84. Yuuji Washimi 鷲見裕二! He couldn't get past the Salmon Ladder before. Can he do it here? Good rhythm. He's through! Up to the Unstable Bridge. Second plank. Get set. Yes! Balance Tank. Yes! Metal Spin. NO! Washimiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Metal Spin de retire! Darn.
He got past the Ladder only to get tripped up later.
85. Koji Hashimoto 橋本亘司! Let's see him at work first! Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder. YES! Unstable Bridge. Second Plank......YES! YES! Balance Tank up next. Yes! Metal Spin coming up but hey, why don't we take a commercial first?
Back!
Metal Spin coming up. Whoa! Yes! 30! 40! 50! Yes! 8.2 left! Mom and Dad are proud!
Two are through so far!
92. Lee En Chi リー・エンチ is up next! Rocking his old school hair! Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder. Good rhythm. Whoops! Back on track. Unstable Bridge. Yes! Balance Tank coming up. Whoa. Don't do that dude! Metal Spin. Yes! Wall Lifting coming up. 30! 40! 50! Yes! 10.4 left!
That's three!
93. Did he just refer to Yuuji as a leader? Yuuji Urushihara 漆原裕治! Is next! Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder. Rhythm. Revenge on the Bridge? Second plank. Slowly. Yes! Balance Tank next. Needs to pick it up though. Metal Spin. Yes! Go! GO! GO! GO! 30! 40! 50! Yes! 6.5 left!
The STQers cheer Yuuji on!
94. Kongu Takahashi 高橋賢次! He's never failed the 2nd Stage before! Downhill Jump, Salmon Ladder and Unstable Bridge are no problem! Neither is the Balance Tank! And then the Metal Spin! And score one for the Old School as Takahashi is through! 32.11 left! Wow!
95. Yoshiyuki Okuyama 奥山義行 is up next! That's four in a row for those keeping score at home. And five overall. Weird music for Okuyama. Downhill Jump. Yes! Good timing. Salmon Ladder. Yes! Unstable Brige up next. Taking his time. Yes! Did it cost him? Nice nipples there Okuyama. Balance Tank. Metal Spin coming up. Yes! Go! 30! 40! 50! 14.9 left!
Well now.
Next up is Hiromichi Sato! Let's see him train in some back alley. Do the neighbors know?
97. Hiromichi Sato 佐藤弘道! The kids are there. Go to bed! Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder up next. Hrm. Struggling a bit. But he's through. Unstable Bridge. Second plank. And...he's through. Balance Tank up next. Does he have enough time? Metal Spin. Not much time. He's go..NO! He lost it!
And he disappoints his family once again.
Toshihiro Takeda 竹田敏浩 is up next. But let's see Akiyama and Yamada time out at the Soritatus Kabe. And then Shingo time out at the Tarzan Rope. And the most surprising, Nagano banging the heck out of his head on the Jumping Spider.
98. Toshihiro Takeda! Must do this for the sake of the All-Stars! And to avenge the death of his sifu! Avenge his death Takeda! Avenge his death! Downhill Jump. Salmon Ladder. Unstable Bridge. Here he goes. Second plank. Yes! Clear! Balance Tank. Yes! Metal Spin. Look at that smile. Yes! 30! 40! 50! Yes! 10.7 left! All-Stars shindenai!
Let's take a look at the 3rd Stage. The 2nd Obstacle is new, the Rope Junction. No conjunctions involved I guess.
No time limit here.
The Magnificent Seven!
73. Naoya Tajima 田島直弥 is up first! Arm Rings is no problem. Rope Junction. At the middle. And he's through! Yes! Devil Steps up next. Good pace. At the turn. And he's through! SASUKE Spray time. Shin-Cliff Hanger up next. SASUKE Next Generation. At the slant. Yes! He's through! This is the tough part. The Jumping Bars into the Hang Climbing with no time to rest. One. Two. Three. Four! And now to the Hang Climbing. Ikeru ikeru! Good pace. No legs on the Spider Flip climb. At the jump now. Can he do it? Don't stick your leg out too far. Yes! He's got it! And It's time for the Gliding Ring. Here we go. NO! Pay attention to what you are doing man. Time to rest. On the Green Bar of Safety. But first, a commercial.
Back.
Even the All-Stars are amazed at his ability to not use his legs going into the Spider Flip. That's some serious arm time.
Back to the Green Bar of Safety. Here we go. Wait. DON'T STAND UP! NO! NO! D'oh.
Mottainai (What a waste) is expressed by Nagano and Takeda.
That ever observant soul Kongu Takahashi points out that he didn't get the ring over the stopper before trying to start. Rookie mistake.
He apologizes to the girlfriend after that.
85. Koji Hashimoto 橋本亘司 is up next! Arm Rings. OK! Rope Junction next. OK! Mom and Dad cheer him on! Devil Steps. At the turn. And he's through! Shin-Cliff Hanger coming up. Here he goes. At the slant. Yes! Jumping Bars next. Taking his time. One! Two! Three! Four! Hang Climbing next. He can use his feet if he wants to. OK! No problem! Spider Flip plank. Struggling a bit though. Ganbare! Yes! Mom can't watch! Yes! Going to the Gliding Ring! Wow! What a run. On the Green Bar of Safety. Probably should have shaved his pits. Everyone's watching man. Take your time. Take your time. CMs.
Back.
Here he goes. Swinging. Swinging. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow. Somehow I don't think he was in the pool.
Mom and dad are happy! Everyone is pumped!
Mom is crying!
That's one!
92. Lee En Chi リー・エンチ is next! Arm Rings. Rope Junction. Irony would be for the climber to fail here. At the middle. OK. Devil Steps. He's looking pretty blown up already. Devil Steps. At the turn. OK! Shin-Cliff Hanger is next. Nagano cheers him on. Yuuji is anxious. He's up next. This is where he stopped last time. At the slant. YES! WOW! NO PROBLEM! Jumping Bars coming up. Then the Hang Climbing which he shouldn't have a problem with. One. Two! Three! Four! Hang Climbing. But hey, let's take a break first.
CMs.
Back.
Hang Climbing. He shouldn't have a problem here but can he get through the Spider Flip plank? Slowly. Slowly. Yes. At the rest area. This is taking it's toll on him. Getting set. Here he goes. Ready. Turning. YES! WHOA WHOA! YES! Abunakatta! Yes! Can there be two? We're not playing by Highlander rules here, people.
Here he goes. Swinging. Swinging. Swinging. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMIGOD!
And now! Let's have an interview in multiple languages! Yes!
I believe Lee is the first foreign finalist since Kane Kosugi and Jordan Shortlegs in SASUKE 8.
Looks like the older folks are a bit nervous seeing these youngsters going the Final. Get off their lawn!
Let's see Yamada blow off Yuuji again and relish the situation, shall we?
93. Yuuji Urushihara 漆原裕治! He's the leader of the new generation of SASUKE stars! Arm Rings. That's a lot of advertising on his shirt. Rope Junction. Yes! Devil Steps. At the turn. OK!
Takeda keeps covering his ears when the announcer says that he is the last hope of the All-Stars.
Shin-Cliff Hanger coming up. At the slant. Mondai arimasen! Stretching and some SASUKE Spray. Jumping Bars. One. Two. Three. Four! Hang Climbing coming up. That running jump he took on the bars was a bit scary. Hang Climbing is no problem. Spider Flip coming up. Wow. Takeda has to be feeling the pressure. Rest time. Here he goes. Or not. Take your time. We're in no rush. YES! Although he almost slipped like Lee. But he's to the Green Bar of Safety! Kitsui ne! Getting the ring ready. Here he goes. But let's take a break first.
Swinging. Swinging. Swinging. Swinging. HERE HE GOES! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!
Nagano goes to relax Takeda. The STQers go nuts. The All-Stars golf clap.
Wow.
Three to the Final Stage? And Takeda is really really feeling the pressure.
94. Kongu Takahashi 高橋賢次 is up next! Arm Rings are no problem. Rope Conjunction up next. Woot. That was fast. Koji gets lots of airtime now that he's a finalist. Devil Steps. At the turn. No problems here. Shin-Cliff Hanger coming up. Break time for Kongu. At the slant. He does the patented Kongu Cross.
Jumping Bars coming up. One. Two. Three. Four! Straight into the Hang Climbing. Through! Getting to the Spider Flip. Wow. TBS is setting us up for something or nothing from Takeda. He looks like he's going to cry. Getting ready. Yes! Woooo.. Everyone is JUST doing it tonight. Now on the Green Bar of Safety. Does he have it in him? Gliding Ring time.
Swinging. Swinging. Commercial.
Back.
Swinging. Swinging. Swinging. Swinging. YES! YES YES YES YES YES YES YES! Kongu will sex the landing pad right now! WHO WANTS TO SEX KONGU?
"The Love Theme of Kongu" plays while he is interviewed. His wife is in tears. And now Kongu is in tears.
Meanwhile, the torture of Toshihiro Takeda goes on.
Yoshiyuki Okuyama is up next. His son says that "maybe" he can do it. Thanks son. You get no allowance. For all eternity.
95. Yoshiyuki Okuyama 奥山義行 and his nipples are back! Arm Rings are no problem. Rope Junction. At the middle. OK. Ikeru! Devil Steps are no problem! Shin-Cliff Hanger is next. At the slant. YES! OK, time to change the Shin-Cliff Hanger. Everyone today has owned it. SASUKE IS HIS OLYMPICS. This point cannot be made enough. Jumping Bars. One! Two! Three! Four! Hang Climbing. Getting up to Spider Flip. This was where he failed last time. Rest time. Damn he's tall. Revenge time. Getting ready. But time for some commercials.
Back.
Getting ready to tackle the gap. YES! He did it! Getting to the Green Bar of Safety. Would he be the oldest finalist ever? Time to rest. Take your time. Take your time. Here he goes.
Swinging. Swinging. Swinging. Swinging. Swinging. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOLY CRAP.
Wow.
Cue the dramatic music.
Takeda: "Iketai ni isshouni."
Let's relive the highlights as Takeda gets ready.
C'mon Toshihiro! You can do it!
Let's review all the things that have happened up until now. We've all seen it so I won't bother recapping it.
Takeda is the last hope of the All-Stars, the Rebel Alliance, the forces of good, etc. etc.
Only one man is left. Will he do it? More than anyone else, I think the crowd will go absolutely nuts if he makes it. I know I will.
98. Toshihiro Takeda 竹田敏浩. Arm Rings are no problem. SASUKE Spray. Rope Junction coming up. At the middle. Safe! Devil Steps up next. Here he goes. At the turn. Yes! Shin-Cliff Hanger coming up. No matter what happens to him, people are going to cry I think. Shin-Cliff Hanger. Oo..history. He was the first person to do it? At the slant. WHOA! Almost didn't do it but he did!
Jumping Bars. One. Two. Three. Four! Yes! Hang Climbing! Avenge your sifu! Ikeru! Ikeru! Daijoubu! The crowd is ALL behind him. Spider Flip revenge time. Come on. Come on. Don't give up. Don't give up. You can do it. You can do it.
CMs.
Back. Let's move back a bit to the Jumping Bars. At the Hang Climbing. Now getting to the Spider Flip plank. Oh god. This is crazy. I don't think the shouting is helping people.
Dig deep Toshihiro. Dig deep. This is painful. Yes. Yes. Yes. Slowly. Slowly. Slowly. Slowly. Slowly. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.
That was quite possibly the most emotional run of Shin SASUKE. Eh, screw it. It was the most emotional run.
I think he just wants to throttle the announcers for putting so much pressure on him.
I can't really describe this. Nagano takes it harder than Takeda.
Final Stage
Five! Have made it! One has been there before. Yuuji Urushihara was the first to break through to the Final Stage in the new era.
And whoever completes SASUKE will get a Nissan Fuga! Fuga?
85. Koji Hashimoto 橋本亘司 is first. He was a gymnast in high school and is currently a gym instructor. This is his first attempt at the Final Stage.
40 seconds to complete.
Someone has fired up the soundtrack to Avalon.
Is the question not who but how many? Crazy.
Here he goes! Up the ladder. Not quite fast though. Don't know if he can do it. At rope with twenty seconds.
Commercials. We have a lot of time to kill people.
Back.
Here he goes. On the Heavenly Ladder. At the GRope with twenty seconds. Time is going red. Can he do it? 5..4..3..2..1. NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I think you need at least 25 seconds on the rope to have a real chance.
Ouch. Well, that's one. We're still in business though. Four more to go!
92. Taiwan's Lee En Chi リー・エンチ! Let's go back in time. He was Taiwan's first and so far only competitor. Well he was there the first time with someone else but we don't like to talk about him anymore. Since then he's carried the hopes of Taiwan and JET TV on his back and has done quite well. This is his first final.
Here he goes. Up the ladder. Commercial.
Back.
Up the Heavenly Ladder. Going good so far. Going Good. A little bit ahead of Koji. Go. Go. Go. Go. Time is going red. Go. Go. Go. NO! Time up! Not quite as far as Koji.
93. Yuuji Urushihara 漆原裕治! He's now been proclaimed the leader of the new generation of SASUKE stars. He's been here before. Can that make a difference?
I tell you right now that I'm biased and I'm rooting for Yuuji more than any of the other finalists.
Here he goes! Up the ladder. Good pace! Hayai! Yes! At the rope at 25 seconds. CMs.
Back.
Back at the bottom. Heavenly Ladder. Here he goes. Wow, good pace. He hits the GRope at around 25 seconds. Can he do it? Here he goes. Time is red. YES YES YESYESY ESYEYSYSSSSSSSSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I'm going to cry.
Minna arigatou!
Holy cow.
3.7 seconds left!
Congratulations YUUJI URUSHIHARA!
Oh. By the way, there are two other competitors left.
94. Kenji Takahashi 高橋賢次 is next! Man, it's hard to concentrate. Up the ladder. Good time. Just behind Yuuji. Can he do it? Not sure about his rope climbing skills. But he's a vet. Can there be two? Sorry Kongu, it's kind of anti-climatic right now, don't you think? Commercials.
Back.
Heavenly Ladder. Pretty good pace up the ladder. Urgh. Lost time on the transfer. Still, he has more upper body than most. Time is going red! GO! GO! GO! GO! NO! NO! That's depressing watching him being lowered down like that.
Ouch. He got tangled in the safety rope. It happens. Good job though Kongu. He'll be back in "The Revenge of Kongu."
One more to go.
95. Yoshiyuki Okuyama 奥山義行 is our final competitor. He was an All-Japan level sprinter. SASUKE is his Olympics!
Vaguely MUSASHI-like music for Okuyama.
Here he goes! Up the ladder! CMs.
Back.
Heavenly Ladder. Can he do it? A bit slow. Urgh. I don't know if he can do it. He's a bit slow. Time is going red. NO! NO!
Damn. There's the Lowering of Failure. The family is disappointed. Especially since that little guy over there did it.
Wow. Let's relive his failure.
Yay! STQers win! STQers win!
The giant key and car are Yuuji's!
And that's it! This spring. Look for the SASUKE renewal!
Congratulations to our third ever SASUKE winner, Yuuji Urushihara!
Monday, March 30, 2009
SASUKE 22 2009 Spring The Sort of Live Blog! SASUKE 2009春! SASUKE 22回!
Sex! Drugs! Rock and Roll! That's what a person needs to..wait, that's not right.
Truth! Justice! No no.
Say your prayers! Take your vitamins! No. That's not it either. Let me check my notes. Here we go.
Power! Speed! Balance! These are the qualities you need to beat SASUKE!
Fisherman! Firefighters! Freerunners! Swimmers! Wrestlers! Shoe salesmen! Do any of them have it in them to beat SASUKE? Let's find out!
SASUKE!
DO NOT LINK TO THIS IN THE G4 FORUMS.
There is everyone! In front of the Final Stage! Pump those fists! Survival Attack SASUKE!
1st Stage!
Chanting!
1. Shoji Tomoharu! 庄司智春! Steps! Yes! Circle Hammer (it's new!). Yes....no..Yes...OK. He's just kind of floating there. And he's been there a while. Yes! OK. Log Grip coming up. He practiced this with Wakky. NO!
2. Crazy Jietai guy! Is hiding! Steps are OK. Circle Hammer. Not quite. YES! You have to take your time. Log Grip. YES! Jumping Spider coming up. Here he goes! NO! He didn't have the timing.
3. Bobby Ologun! ボビー・オロゴン! His brother did the course before. Steps. OK. Bobby is a big guy. Circle Hammer. Yeeees! Log Grip. NO! He fell the same place as Shoji.
7. Pak Bo Kyung (maybe...not sure about that spelling there)! パク・ボキュン! He's Korean. Steps! NO! Abunai! He had to put his hand up and couldn't get it. Oh well. Sell them CDs!
Yamamoto says "Oh my god."
14. Monomane specialist Yamamoto Takahiro 山本高広 does his Kane Kosugi impersonation! Can he channel the spirit of Kane to do it? He does a Kane yell. Steps. Hai hai hai...NO! He points to his gold number as fact that he is a champion already.
Muscle Musical member Inada Ayako 稲田亜矢子 has no number. Steps. YES! Circle Hammer. Spins around. Yes! Log Grip. Can she do it? Here she goes. NO! Almost there!!!
11. We've gone back in time to see monomane specialist Hori ホリ do his Takuya Kimura. Steps. OK. Circle Hammer. Yes! Log Grip...NO! And then he does his Kinpachi sensei.
Someone, a waiter, Mohammed Yone モハメド ヨネ, a taiko drummer and doctor all meet their watery dooms.
Dramatic music!
14. Kawahara Takuya! 川原拓也! Here he goes. Steps. Circle Hammer coming up. Yes! NO! YES! He almost leaned back too far. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider...YES! Ikeru! Spider Walk. through! Half-Pipe Attack. Tobu! Yes! Soritatsu Kabe! First try! Here he goes. Slider Jump (it's new!). NO! He couldn't reach the net! He kind of lost control at the end. I think you have to let momentum carry you.
Nagano looks on in fear!
Kawahara is the first to the try the Slider Jump.
Nagano: "Kowai desu!"
Comedian Kojima Yoshio! 小島よしお! Here he goes! Steps. 120 seconds by the way.
And our first commercial break!
Red Cliff Part Two! Go see it!
Back!
Kojima. Steps. Yes! Circle Hammer. NO! Yes..wait. Yes! Log Grip. Can he do it? He's taking a long time. NO! He had it then he didn't. Darn. And then he gets the comedy bump of getting hit in the head by the log. Oh pa pi!
Chiro チロ is too small for the Steps.
18. Zabungle's Kato Ayumu! 加藤歩! The announcer will say kuyashii if he fails. Here he goes. Steps. WHOA! OK. Circle Hammer. They're getting all the comedians out of the way I see. YES! Log Grip. Here he goes. YES! Is he blown up already? Jumping Spider. Taking his time. UP! YES! Here he goes. Can he get through the Spider Walk. Not much time left. He goes through slowly. Stamina is not his strong point. Half-Pipe Attack. And....NO! He couldn't get the momentum. Kuyashii desu! He used to play handball. But he is NOT a man of hands on balls!
Our first All-Star sighting!
Akiyama Kazuhiko! Last time he failed the Half-Pipe Attack. Can he do it?
Akiyama has crabs!
20. Akiyama Kazuhiko! 秋山和彦! Steps are OK! Circle Hammer. Whoa...OK..wait. OK! Log Grip. Sets. No problem-o! Jumping Spider...YES! NO problem! Hayai through the Spider Walk. Half-Pipe Attack. NO! He slipped on the run up!
The slo-mo shows that he slipped coming off the platform. Damn.
Yes, we can! Yes, we can!
It's Obam...er..Nocchi of Dangerous! It's Dangerous and Dokidoki Camp's Kishi Manabu.
Kishi Manabu! 岸学! He does a Jack Bauer impersonation. Steps. Jack Bauuuuuuuer!
The other guy in Dangerous, Yasuda Kazuhiro 安田和博 fails the Circle Hammer.
Nocchi up next! ノッチ! Here he goes. Can he? Steps. Yes, we can! Circle Hammer. Yes..wait...no. Yes, we can! Log Grip coming. O-ba-ma! NO! No, you cant!
KUNOICHI finalist and Muscle Musical member Komiya Rie! 小宮理英! Steps! OK! Circle Hammer. OK! Log Grip. Short prayer. Yes! Jumping Spider. Pumping herself up. Yes! NO! WAIT! She falls back. Ah. OK. That's why she wasn't wet. I guess she coursed out.
26. Haga Tomoyo! 芳賀友也 Damn you scnoi, you were right. Here he goes. He's another Muscle Musical member. Steps. OK. Circle Hammer. OK! Log Grip coming up. Yes! Is it me or does the Log Grip go farther this year? Jumping Spider. Yes! Spider Walk is no problem. Half-Pipe Attack. YES! Soritatsu Kabe. First try! The Muscle Musical members must have trained. Slider Jump. Can he be the first. Setting himself. YES! NO! He couldn't hold on to the net! The All-Stars are scared of the new obstacle.
30. Kasuga Toshiaki of Audrey! 春日俊彰! Can he do it? So far Kato is the comedian who has gone the farthest. TBS has done the most hyping Kasuga. Can he live up to it? It's been a while since a legit talento has reached the 2nd Stage, right? Muscle Musical people don't count.
CMs.
Take a drink every time you see the Hyper Variety Week commercial!
That's one!
Back.
Kasuga! He does his slow walk! Steps...NO! He tried to hold on for dear life and then...
Ah, the classic TBS/Monster 9 misdirection. See: Yamamoto, Hiroshi
Luci Romberg! Can she be the 2nd woman to clear the 1st Stage?
Here she goes! Steps! OK! Circle Hammer. Yes! Log Grip. Always a dangerous place. Yes! Luci!!! Jumping Spider. Yes! NO! She had it and then...no. There's a new wind-up chat thing when people get ready to do the Jumping Spider. Doushita Luci!!!
Just didn't get high enough. Darn.
Shimada Hiroyo! 島田裕代! She's from the Muscle Musical too! She was a gymnast. Steps! Yes! Circle Hammer. Yes! Log Grip. Can she do it? The women have bee doing well this year. Yes! Jumping Spider. Yes! She's up! Spider Walk. Half-Pipe Attack. NO! She didn't really have the speed. Darn. She can't swim! She can't swim!
Yet another Muscle Musical member. Ishikawa Kiichi! 石川 輝一! Here he goes. Steps. OK. Circle Hammer. Wait. Yes! Log Grip. Here he goes. Whoa. OK! Jumping Spider. Yes! Wait..he was slipping a bit but on to the Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. He's taking his time. Yes! First try! Slider Jump. Yes! He did it!
And of course CMs.
That's two Hyper Variety Week commercials! You better be drinking along!
Back!
Let's look at him doing the Slider Jump again. He has to go through the net. Tarzan Rope coming up. Does he have time? The time is going red! Go! GO! GO! NO! The net took too long.
Ishimaru Kenjiro! 石丸謙二郎! He almost made it the last few times. Can he do it (and be the oldest to finish the 1st Stage?) Lots of chanting this year.
Here he goes! Steps. Smooth. Mondai arimasen. Circle Hammer..wait. Yes! Log Grip. Yes! Clear! Jumping Spider. Yes! NO! He couldn't hold on! I think if you touch the ramp under the trampoline you are out. That's why Rie couldn't go on (in case you were wondering).
Miho of Cherry Pie. チェリー☆パイのみほ! Some other dude. A TBS announcer and Sakamoto Issei 坂本一生 go out. Yoshikawa Yasuaki 吉川泰昭 and Tatsumi 龍美 of the Muscle Musical are out via Slider Jump. And Izuma Masakatsu 猪妻正活 of Miyazaki's team.
31. Shingo Yamamoto! It's been a while for Shingo. Can he regain the glory? Here he goes! Steps. Circle Hammer. Take your time, Shingo. Take your time. OK! Log Grip. OK! Jumping Spider. He's fallen here before. YES! No problem! And now the Half-Pipe Attack. Up and yes! AND NONONONONO! Careless miss!
CMs.
Ba..wait. Stupid fake-out. It was just Nagano running along to Shingo's run. More CMs.
Back for real. And yes, there is a slight incline and narrow plank from the Half-Pipe Attack to the Soritatsu Kabe. And Nagano was pissed. Isoi sugi!
Ouch.
Hang glider guy!
32. Kawashima Masami! 原島雅美! Steps! Ye..NO!
33. Aoki Yasuo! Sculptor guy! 青木保夫! Taking his time. And...he falls in the middle of the 3rd and 4th steps!
34. Kuramochi Minoru! 倉持稔! Or Octopus guy. Taka-tencho. Iku! Steps! NO!!!! The gap was too wide I guess. Or perhaps having an octopus stuck to his face took a bit more out of him than we thought.
Zannen deshita!
34 (supposedly) have gone! None have passed!
46. Sato Hiroki! He's an STQer (SASUKE Trial Qualifier). Our first. Steps. Circle Hammer. OK! Sorry, missed his number at first. Had to go back. Log Grip! Clear! Jumping Spider. YE...NO!!!!
Woo. Clips of him training. SASUKE training only! Kanno Hitoshi? 菅野仁志! Steps! OK! Circle Hammer. OK! Log Grip. YES! He's another STQer. Jumping Spider. Yes! A little unsure but through the Spider Walk. OK! Half-Pipe Attack. You can hear Yuji Urushihara in the background. Soritatsu Kabe! First try! Slider Jump. Yes! He goes the under. Watch your feet! Whoa! Almost! Yes! Tarzan Rope. Lots of time! Kanno! Kanno! Go! Go! Go! Hurry! Hurry! YES!!!!!!!! Cue Yagyu-Gaiden! With 3.7 left!
Shots of the crowd. The other STQers are going nuts. Yamada looks..salty.
50. David Campbell! Ninja Warrior! Steps. OK! If the commercials are right, he'll have a slight challenge on the Slider Jump. Circle Hammer...Log Grip. OK! Jumping Spider..Yes! A little unsure on the initial grip but OK! Half-Pipe Attack coming up. Yes! Can he make it two in a row? Soritatsu Kabe. First try! Slider Jump....Takes his time. Needs to hurry. YES! WHOA!!! He almost fell but held on! Hurry! Hurry! Yes! GO GO GO! Hurry! Time is going to go red! HURRY! HURRY! HURRY! HURRY! Jikan ga nai! NO!
Good job David!
So close. He underestimated the cardio!
88. Nakao Akiyoshi! He practiced with Mr. SASUKE. Will that matter? It didn't help Miyagi last time. Steps! Yes! Jeez. Jump the numbers why don't you TBS. Circle Hammer. Yes! Log Grip. Here he goes. Yes! Jumping Spider. Did Mr. SASUKE help him?
CMs.
Back!
Jumping Spider...And of course Mr. SASUKE did nothing to help him. He whiffs completely.
Well, at least it was dramatic.
STQers Nomura and Kawahara and Hashimoto Koji 橋本亘司 and Kawaguchi Tomohiro 川口朋広 all fall. Wow.
77. Urushihara Yuuji! 漆原裕治! Steps! Yes! It seems like he's the de facto STQ leader. Circle Hammer and Log Grip are OK. Jumping Spider. Yes! Yes! I bet he has the right shoes for this. Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! What does it say on his shirt? Soritatsu Kabe. Yes! Slider Jump! Yes! Up and over! Lots of time! Almost no problems! Tarzan Rope! Yes! Rope Ladder! Lots of time! Go! Go! Go! YES! YES! 7.5 seconds left!
All-Stars 0
STQers 2
Kanpeki na performance!
I won't make fun of his voice. I won't make fun of his voice. I won't make fun of his voice.
And shots of the high numbers! Jeez. Did people between 50 and 80 do absolutely nothing?
82. Miyashita Junichi! 宮下純一 He was a bronze medalist swimmer at Beijing. Steps.
CMs.
Take another Hyper Variety drink!
Back.
82. Junichi Miyashita! Steps! OK! Circle Hammer. OK! Log Grip. Takes his time. Yes! Jumping Spider. NO! He whiffs mid-air! Oh well.
79. Lee Yen Chi! リー・エンチ! Can he bring glory to Taiwan? Their baseball team sure didn't (!). Steps. Circle Hammer! Girigiri Safe! Log Grip. Jumping Spider..Yes! Uh OH..OK! Half-Pipe Attack. Lee Yen Chiiiiiiiii! Ikemen Rock Climber. Soritatsu Kabe. OK! Slider Jump. Yes! Don't take your time man! Hurry up! UH OH. Having problems on the net. HURRY! Go! GO! Tarzan Climb. GO! GO! YES! 2.6! That's three!
He was moving very confidently up until he got messed up in the net.
I have a theory that Slider Jump with the net is there to slow down people from...running around freely if you get my drift.
HERE WE GO! Mr. SASUKE! OH good. It's the kid again. OK, he's not currently dying so I believe Yamada is fair game.
81. Jeez. Hurry up.
81. Mr. SASUKE Yamada Katsumi! 山田勝己! Here we go! FALL! I mean...GO! Steps! And of course...
CMs.
Back.
81. Yamada Katsumi! Steps! I won't begrudge him if he passes this time. If only because of the child. Circle Hammer is unfortunately OK. Log Grip. OK. Yeah yeah. Jumping Spider as the crowd chants his name...YES! I mean NOOOOOOOOOOO! YAMADA HAS KILLED A CHILD!
Wow, if Yamada couldn't do it for a sick child, who can he do it for? He was up and then down again on the Jumping Spider. Sheesh. Do it for the hot dogs Katsumi!
84. Okuyama Yoshiyuki! 奥山義行! Here he goes. Steps! He's all dressed up this time. Circle Hammer. OK! Log Grip. Jumping Spider. YES! A little giri giri but yes! Through. Half-Pipe Attack. YES! Soritatsu Kabe. Time is OK. First time! Everyone is OWNING the Soritatsu Kabe tonight. Slider Jump. Yes! He goes the under. Watch your feet! Tarzan Rope. Lots of time. Tarzan Climb. And...the time is going red! Hurry! Yes! 3.3 seconds left!
You have a choice. Going over is safer but going under takes less time.
Takahashi Mitsuomi 高橋光臣 and Ryo Shirai 白井涼 (at the Tarzan Rope) go out. And K-1 fighter Watanabe Kazuhisa 渡辺一久.
Wakky wants to be the first celeb to get through.
89. Wakky of Penalty. Steps! OK! Circle Hammer. In the world of Monster 9, Wakky is a proven commodity. Log Grip is OK! In the world of non-Monster 9 programming SASUKE fans, Wakky is unproven. Jumping Spider. He's up! Really high! But he couldn't hold on! No!
Miyazaki and Hiromichi Sato are nervous.
Clips of Sato. He's arafo - around forty. Can he do it? I think there will be no cuts from here on out as...
90. Sato Hiromichi! 佐藤弘道 And his grin! Wait, he's not arafo..he's forty. Steps. Circle Hammer. Yes! Log Grip coming up. Readies himself. OK. Jumping Spider. Yes! A bit unsure on the Spider Walk though. OK! Half-Pipe Attack. Attack!! Yes. Soritatsu Kabe. This is his killer. First time! Jeez, is the wall lower or something. Slider Jump. Yes! Can he do it? He'd be the first legit celeb in ages. And...
CMs
Back.
The Slider Jump! Yes! He goes the over. Does he have time? Here he goes. Tarzan Climb...time is going red...Hurry! YES! 1.5 seconds left!
That's five! Heh, Shingo looks a little pissy in the background there.
And White SASUKE Jesus is waiting.
More clips of Sato actually doing something for once and earning his number.
91. Levi Meeuwenberg! He's the last hope for G4 today. JET got theirs man, JET got theirs.
The clips of Levi doing freerunning and meeting Nagano.
Here he goes. Steps. OK! Circle Hammer is OK. Log Grip. OK! Flip. Jumping Spider is no problem. Slightly awkward Spider Walk. Half-Pipe Attack is OK. Soritatsu Kabe. First try! Slider Jump. NO!!!!!!
Wow. He looked really confident going into that part. Erm..so was my theory correct? Ouch. Cue the overly dramatic music.
And it all makes sense now. G4 delays the broadcast and adds a live event to draw away from their overall showing in SASUKE 22.
He can't believe this happened. Most people can't. Wow. The crowd is really subdued.
92. Takeda Toshihiro! 竹田敏浩 Steps! Heh. Cocky guy.
CMs
And we're back! Wait. We're not. More teaser. They point out that three of the five All-Stars have failed and Takeda at the Jumping Spider.
CMs
Back.
Takeda! Step. OK! Circle Hammer. whoa...OK! Log Grip. He'll get through this no problem. Jumping Spider. Breath. ES!NO !NO!N!O!NO! I mean..NO! Wow.
Ah..He didn't get a clean jump. He was up...then he wasn't. Cue the dramatic music!
Ishimori Taiji 石森太二(NOAH) and Matsunaga Tomohiro 松永共広(silver medalist) and Iketani Naoki 池谷直樹 and Kawashima Takayuki 川島孝幸 (Muscle Musical) all fall to SASUKE.
96. Kitagawa Tomoki! He's a rugby player. Steps. Circle Hammer. Whoa....OK! Need a slight tug there. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider. YES! He's up! And...Slowly...He's not used to this I think. Her..NO! He didn't have it.
Next up. Paul ANTHONY Terek! It's time for some revenge! Terek should come to Japan as pro wrestler or something.
98. Paul ANTHONY Terek! Here he goes! Steps. Circle Hammer. Whoa..OK. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider! Yes! Man, he's too big for that thing. Slowly. He has on tabi. Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. NO! YES! Slider Jump coming up. Taking his time. Ye...NO! I guess he lost control at the end.
I guess it was time for SASUKE's revenge.
Slider Jump = White man killer. Damn racist.
Alright, I admit, I said double digits going to the 2nd Stage. I stat cursed SASUKE.
Clips of Mr. HANDBALL! By the way, did we see his teammate Sho Iwanaga?
Cue the King Kull music! It's Miyazaki Daisuke!
99. Miyazaki Daisuke! 宮崎大輔! Steps. Circle Hammer...whoa. OK. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider. Yes! Here he goes. The walls must be slippery or something. Through. Half-Pipe Attack. Wow. Kind of a low run. Wait..He swings back and forth. Only once chance here. And he does the Soritatsu Kabe! Slider Jump. Yes! He goes over...is that a tactical mistake? Go! Hurry! He doesn't have much time. Tarzan Rope. Daijobu kanaa? Masaka! Masaka! Masaka!
Dammit. Miyazaki times out.
The Half-Pipe Attack took time but DO NOT GO OVER THE NET IF YOU DON'T HAVE TIME. It takes too long.
Apparently I missed Levi asking why he timed out. Um. OK.
Highlights and privacy invasion of Makoto Nagano's life.
The All-Stars are in a bad spot! Once again, Nagano is their only hope!
There's over an hour left, one person on the 1st Stage left and possibly three more stages to go. Interesting.
100. Nagano Makoto! 長野誠! Here he goes! Steps. OK. Circle Hammer is OK! Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider. Yes! Wow, he just kind of floated in the air there. Cool. Only he knew what he would do. Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. Yes! Wow, only Terek missed it the first time (of those shown).
CMs
Back.
Here he goes...SlidinNO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a joke here written down about something blue and something about balls helping Nagano first attaining Kanzen Seiha that I will refrain from using out of respect to him.
Wow. He just missed getting a hand on the net.
Arsenette totally called it by the way.
2nd Stage!
Hrm..If Okuyama = Yes, then Nagano = No. Interesting.
A look at the stages. Nothing much changed yet. Let's see lots of people failing the Salmon Ladder. OK. The thing hasn't changed at all. 80 seconds to clear.
Here's the first! Kanno Hitoshi! 菅野仁志!
Wow. Sato and no All-Stars. Downhill Jump OK. Salmon Ladder. YES! No problem! Swing Ladder. OK! Metal Spin. Whoa..OK! YES! More than enough time! Wall Lifting. Yes! Yes! Yes! Wait...YES! He's through!
Wow, that was easy.
Shoes! It can only be Urushihara Yuji! 漆原裕治!
Wow, the crowd is super pumped up.
Downhill Jump is OK. Salmon Ladder. Slip. But re-aligns. No problem! Swing Ladder coming up. Metal Spin. OK! Wow, this is FAST! Wall Lifting. Hurry! Can he do it! YES! STQers represent!
Lee Yen Chi is up next! リー・エンチ! It's time for his revenge. Downhill Jump is OK. Salmon Ladder. He can get through this but he took too long last time. Yes! Damn, I think having the STQers there brings the energy level. Metal Spin. Yes! Wall Lifting. YES! YES!
That's three for three! Taiwan REPRESENT!
Wow. The STQers and Lee Yen Chi say "All-Stars who?"
I'm saying wow a lot. This maybe what SASUKE needs - the STQers are bringing such energy that everything feels..fresher. It's like Urushihara and Kanno are treating the course like it's SASUKE Park. Something you just do. Not something you obsess over (although they obviously do).
Next up! Okuyama Yoshiyuki! 奥山義行 Can he make it four for four?
Downhill Jump is OK. Salmon Ladder. YES! Swing Ladder. Still has lots of time. Metal Spin. YES! WOW! Wall Lifting. YES! YES! YEEEEEEEES! Four for four!
And now...Hiromichi Sato. 佐藤弘道 One of these things is not like the others.
Downhill Jump is OK. Can he do the Salmon Ladder? Halfway now. Oh wow. He did it! I'm amazed. Seriously. Swing Ladder. And break time.
CMs.
OK, the four who have made it through have maybe less than fifteen tries at the course total between them (Yamada has 21. Yamamoto, 22). This is crazy.
Back.
Metal Spin coming up. NO!!!!!!!!!! Whew, I needed someone to disappoint children. In that category, Hiromichi Sato did not LET ME DOWN!
Let's kill some time and look at his run again.
Wow, four of five move on.
3rd Stage
Arm Ring. Kudari Lamp Grasper. Devil Steps. Shin-Cliff HangerJumping Bar. Hang Climbing. Spider Flip. (Not so) Gliding Ring. No time limit. Wow. absolutely no shots of the All-Stars at all.
The Final Stage is waiting!
菅野仁志 Kanno up first. Arm Rings. OK. Kudari Lamp Grasper. Clip. I guess he needed another can of SASUKE Spray. Good rhythm. And OK! Looks a little shaky.
Devil Steps. This took out Miyazaki last time. Here he goes. At the turn. OK. NO problem! Rest time. Shin-Cliff Hanger. Here he goes. At the slant...Going for the jump. He'll make it. YES!
CMs
OK, his Shin-Cliff Hanger attempt was in a commercial (one of the commercials) so that shouldn't have been a surprise. But I guess since no one knew who he was, most probably dismissed it.
Back.
Shin-Cliff Hanger. Yes! Jumping Bar coming up. Lee Yen Chi looks on! His family is pumped! I'm sorry but this is the most excited I've seen a crowd in ages.
Jumping Bar. One. Two. Three. Four. Hang Climbing coming up. OK. OK. OK. Ikeru! Ikeru! Yes! Spider Flip coming up. Daijobu! Some time getting set.
WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
COURSE OUT!!!! NOO!!!!!! He was pretty much spent.
Once he put his legs on the bar, he was out. But hey, he's in the company of the All-Stars. And even surpassed Takeda.
Shoes. Shoes. Shoes. Shoes. Muscle Park. He lives with his mom! It's Urushihara Yuji! 漆原裕治!
UNCLI represent! Arm Rings. No problem. Hahaha. His UNCLI shirt has the kanji for shoes on the sleeve. He's the No. 3 Cliffer.
Kudari Lamp Grasper. OK! Devil Steps coming up. Good - really freaking fast - Devil Steps rhythm. Wow. Hey, that teenager is there. Shin-Cliff Hanger coming up. At the slant. YES! NO PROBLEM! Wow. He totally pwned that thing as the kids say.
Is our hero of the new age Urushihara Yuji? Lee Yen Chi? Okuyama Yoshiyuki?
Back.
He hits the Shin-Cliff Hanger like he went to some indoor amusement park and practiced it over a dozen times!
Rest as he gets ready for the Jumping Bars. One. Two. Three. Four! Hang Climbing coming up. I guess you can use it like a rock climb. Spider Flip coming up. Don't touch the poles man! He's up. Getting ready. Ikeru yo! Resting. Or praying. Hard to say. Getting ready again. He changed his shoes I think. Yeah, he has different shoes on. Only Nagano has passed this. Here he goes. YES! The jump is not the point. It's that you have to get down and get ready later. Gliding Ring! Wow. This is awesome. Here he goes. It glides! JUMP! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Final Stage here we come!
The SASUKE Park All-Stars and Ultimate Cliffers jump for joy as Katsumi Yamada looks on. Heh.
OK, see, this is the thing. Because Nagano did it for the All-Stars. Urushihara is doing it for a bigger, just as dedicated group of people. That's why this is so emotional.
Poor Lee Yen Chi and Okuyama Yoshiyuki don't have much time to do their thing.
JET has to be happy about this. Lee Yen Chi! リー・エンチ!
Arm Rings. Kudari Lamp Grasper. He looks more ripped than usual but can he do it? Does he have it in him? A bit hangy, as opposed to the other two. But he's through! Devil Steps. He'll rest and spray up here. Up. Yes. At the turn. Yes! This the big one. Shin-Cliff Hanger. Here he goes. At the slant. Whoa...OK. Here he goes. Wait...NO!
He wasn't set. Still, JET has to be happy. Let's give him a hand!
Replays.
He wants to do this again!
Okuyama! 奥山義行! We have about twenty minutes left and we know that someone is moving on. I'll be frank, it doesn't look good for Yoshiyuki.
Arm Rings are no problem. Can he make his children happy? Or will THEY GO HOME IN TEARS! Kudari Lamp Grasper. No problem! Yoshiyuki impresses me and then we go to commercials.
CMs
OK, it's those stupid Baby Cokes. Hurry up!
Back.
Kudari Lamp Grasper is no problem. Here comes the Devil Steps. Getting set. Up. Methodical. At the turn. And he's through!
Shin-Cliff Hanger...Everyone is waiting...At the slant...Here he goes. NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And the kids are surprised. The girl is on the verge of tears...stay on her! Stay on her! No. Darn it. Kuyashii node mata ganbarimasu!
It's like his real Olympic dream!
Urushihara Yuji is the first man to make the new Final Stage! And Mr. Yamada drops his two cents. Let's see...there wil be a montage and then what?
Rope Climb for 4. Spider Climb to Rope Climb for 17. But since then...no one. We don't even know what it is.
NEW FINAL STAGE!
COMMERCIALS!
Here's a theory: THE OTHER ALL-STARS HAD ENOUGH CLASS TO STAY AWAY AND LET SOMEONE ELSE TAKE THE STAGE. GO AWAY FOR NOW. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
The New FINAL STAGE: Heavenly Ladder to the G Rope. 45 seconds? Yeesh.
BUG IN MIKI footage. And then shots of him training at a playground. Can he be the third man to finish SASUKE?
Woooooo..Okuyama is PIMPING in that jacket.
I've never liveblogged a Final Stage before. It's uncharted territory for everyone!
Jeez. That's high.
ONE MAN LEFT STANDING. He is URUSHIHARA YUJI. 漆原裕治!
And he has the support of the STQers. The Unlimited Cliffers. The SASUKE Park All-Stars. If he does it. It's for them.
Here we go!
Up the Heavenly Ladder.
10 M mark.
CMs
Of course.
Don't complain. You knew it was coming.
Back.
Here he goes. Heavenly Ladder. At the 10 Meter mark. At the G Rope! GO MAN GO!
19
18
17
16
15
14
13
12
Time is going red! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
SO CLOSE!
Damn.
To tell the truth, I thought going in he was going to make it.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. The only thing I can do is laugh.
That is awesome. TBS led me on and got me thinking someone was going to finish tonight.
You know what? Whatever. We just saw a "new hero" born. A dark horse whose group seemed to bring a lot more energy to the later stages than the last few shows.
Is this the turning point? This isn't like 20 when Levi was the last man standing and the All-Stars crapped out. Naturally, this is better if only for the number of people moving on. This isn't even like the All-Stars return to form in 21. Sure it was emotional but this was fresher. Different. It wasn't just because of a new group of faces. Only Kanno was going through his first try at SASUKE. And yet, it didn't suffer at all with the lack of All-Stars. TBS and Monster 9 have been looking for their new stars and really, I've never understood why they've never given Urushihara's group more chances. They have to know who they are. They know that they are at the Trials. That they send in letters and videos. That they are at Muscle Park. And now one of them has gone farther than anyone else in the last five shows. They are the future of SASUKE if it wants to stay alive in Japan. Give them a chance Monster 9.
As far as this SASUKE was concerned it was STQers that stole the show from the All-Stars and maybe that's how it's going to be from now on.
Truth! Justice! No no.
Say your prayers! Take your vitamins! No. That's not it either. Let me check my notes. Here we go.
Power! Speed! Balance! These are the qualities you need to beat SASUKE!
Fisherman! Firefighters! Freerunners! Swimmers! Wrestlers! Shoe salesmen! Do any of them have it in them to beat SASUKE? Let's find out!
SASUKE!
DO NOT LINK TO THIS IN THE G4 FORUMS.
There is everyone! In front of the Final Stage! Pump those fists! Survival Attack SASUKE!
1st Stage!
Chanting!
1. Shoji Tomoharu! 庄司智春! Steps! Yes! Circle Hammer (it's new!). Yes....no..Yes...OK. He's just kind of floating there. And he's been there a while. Yes! OK. Log Grip coming up. He practiced this with Wakky. NO!
2. Crazy Jietai guy! Is hiding! Steps are OK. Circle Hammer. Not quite. YES! You have to take your time. Log Grip. YES! Jumping Spider coming up. Here he goes! NO! He didn't have the timing.
3. Bobby Ologun! ボビー・オロゴン! His brother did the course before. Steps. OK. Bobby is a big guy. Circle Hammer. Yeeees! Log Grip. NO! He fell the same place as Shoji.
7. Pak Bo Kyung (maybe...not sure about that spelling there)! パク・ボキュン! He's Korean. Steps! NO! Abunai! He had to put his hand up and couldn't get it. Oh well. Sell them CDs!
Yamamoto says "Oh my god."
14. Monomane specialist Yamamoto Takahiro 山本高広 does his Kane Kosugi impersonation! Can he channel the spirit of Kane to do it? He does a Kane yell. Steps. Hai hai hai...NO! He points to his gold number as fact that he is a champion already.
Muscle Musical member Inada Ayako 稲田亜矢子 has no number. Steps. YES! Circle Hammer. Spins around. Yes! Log Grip. Can she do it? Here she goes. NO! Almost there!!!
11. We've gone back in time to see monomane specialist Hori ホリ do his Takuya Kimura. Steps. OK. Circle Hammer. Yes! Log Grip...NO! And then he does his Kinpachi sensei.
Someone, a waiter, Mohammed Yone モハメド ヨネ, a taiko drummer and doctor all meet their watery dooms.
Dramatic music!
14. Kawahara Takuya! 川原拓也! Here he goes. Steps. Circle Hammer coming up. Yes! NO! YES! He almost leaned back too far. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider...YES! Ikeru! Spider Walk. through! Half-Pipe Attack. Tobu! Yes! Soritatsu Kabe! First try! Here he goes. Slider Jump (it's new!). NO! He couldn't reach the net! He kind of lost control at the end. I think you have to let momentum carry you.
Nagano looks on in fear!
Kawahara is the first to the try the Slider Jump.
Nagano: "Kowai desu!"
Comedian Kojima Yoshio! 小島よしお! Here he goes! Steps. 120 seconds by the way.
And our first commercial break!
Red Cliff Part Two! Go see it!
Back!
Kojima. Steps. Yes! Circle Hammer. NO! Yes..wait. Yes! Log Grip. Can he do it? He's taking a long time. NO! He had it then he didn't. Darn. And then he gets the comedy bump of getting hit in the head by the log. Oh pa pi!
Chiro チロ is too small for the Steps.
18. Zabungle's Kato Ayumu! 加藤歩! The announcer will say kuyashii if he fails. Here he goes. Steps. WHOA! OK. Circle Hammer. They're getting all the comedians out of the way I see. YES! Log Grip. Here he goes. YES! Is he blown up already? Jumping Spider. Taking his time. UP! YES! Here he goes. Can he get through the Spider Walk. Not much time left. He goes through slowly. Stamina is not his strong point. Half-Pipe Attack. And....NO! He couldn't get the momentum. Kuyashii desu! He used to play handball. But he is NOT a man of hands on balls!
Our first All-Star sighting!
Akiyama Kazuhiko! Last time he failed the Half-Pipe Attack. Can he do it?
Akiyama has crabs!
20. Akiyama Kazuhiko! 秋山和彦! Steps are OK! Circle Hammer. Whoa...OK..wait. OK! Log Grip. Sets. No problem-o! Jumping Spider...YES! NO problem! Hayai through the Spider Walk. Half-Pipe Attack. NO! He slipped on the run up!
The slo-mo shows that he slipped coming off the platform. Damn.
Yes, we can! Yes, we can!
It's Obam...er..Nocchi of Dangerous! It's Dangerous and Dokidoki Camp's Kishi Manabu.
Kishi Manabu! 岸学! He does a Jack Bauer impersonation. Steps. Jack Bauuuuuuuer!
The other guy in Dangerous, Yasuda Kazuhiro 安田和博 fails the Circle Hammer.
Nocchi up next! ノッチ! Here he goes. Can he? Steps. Yes, we can! Circle Hammer. Yes..wait...no. Yes, we can! Log Grip coming. O-ba-ma! NO! No, you cant!
KUNOICHI finalist and Muscle Musical member Komiya Rie! 小宮理英! Steps! OK! Circle Hammer. OK! Log Grip. Short prayer. Yes! Jumping Spider. Pumping herself up. Yes! NO! WAIT! She falls back. Ah. OK. That's why she wasn't wet. I guess she coursed out.
26. Haga Tomoyo! 芳賀友也 Damn you scnoi, you were right. Here he goes. He's another Muscle Musical member. Steps. OK. Circle Hammer. OK! Log Grip coming up. Yes! Is it me or does the Log Grip go farther this year? Jumping Spider. Yes! Spider Walk is no problem. Half-Pipe Attack. YES! Soritatsu Kabe. First try! The Muscle Musical members must have trained. Slider Jump. Can he be the first. Setting himself. YES! NO! He couldn't hold on to the net! The All-Stars are scared of the new obstacle.
30. Kasuga Toshiaki of Audrey! 春日俊彰! Can he do it? So far Kato is the comedian who has gone the farthest. TBS has done the most hyping Kasuga. Can he live up to it? It's been a while since a legit talento has reached the 2nd Stage, right? Muscle Musical people don't count.
CMs.
Take a drink every time you see the Hyper Variety Week commercial!
That's one!
Back.
Kasuga! He does his slow walk! Steps...NO! He tried to hold on for dear life and then...
Ah, the classic TBS/Monster 9 misdirection. See: Yamamoto, Hiroshi
Luci Romberg! Can she be the 2nd woman to clear the 1st Stage?
Here she goes! Steps! OK! Circle Hammer. Yes! Log Grip. Always a dangerous place. Yes! Luci!!! Jumping Spider. Yes! NO! She had it and then...no. There's a new wind-up chat thing when people get ready to do the Jumping Spider. Doushita Luci!!!
Just didn't get high enough. Darn.
Shimada Hiroyo! 島田裕代! She's from the Muscle Musical too! She was a gymnast. Steps! Yes! Circle Hammer. Yes! Log Grip. Can she do it? The women have bee doing well this year. Yes! Jumping Spider. Yes! She's up! Spider Walk. Half-Pipe Attack. NO! She didn't really have the speed. Darn. She can't swim! She can't swim!
Yet another Muscle Musical member. Ishikawa Kiichi! 石川 輝一! Here he goes. Steps. OK. Circle Hammer. Wait. Yes! Log Grip. Here he goes. Whoa. OK! Jumping Spider. Yes! Wait..he was slipping a bit but on to the Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. He's taking his time. Yes! First try! Slider Jump. Yes! He did it!
And of course CMs.
That's two Hyper Variety Week commercials! You better be drinking along!
Back!
Let's look at him doing the Slider Jump again. He has to go through the net. Tarzan Rope coming up. Does he have time? The time is going red! Go! GO! GO! NO! The net took too long.
Ishimaru Kenjiro! 石丸謙二郎! He almost made it the last few times. Can he do it (and be the oldest to finish the 1st Stage?) Lots of chanting this year.
Here he goes! Steps. Smooth. Mondai arimasen. Circle Hammer..wait. Yes! Log Grip. Yes! Clear! Jumping Spider. Yes! NO! He couldn't hold on! I think if you touch the ramp under the trampoline you are out. That's why Rie couldn't go on (in case you were wondering).
Miho of Cherry Pie. チェリー☆パイのみほ! Some other dude. A TBS announcer and Sakamoto Issei 坂本一生 go out. Yoshikawa Yasuaki 吉川泰昭 and Tatsumi 龍美 of the Muscle Musical are out via Slider Jump. And Izuma Masakatsu 猪妻正活 of Miyazaki's team.
31. Shingo Yamamoto! It's been a while for Shingo. Can he regain the glory? Here he goes! Steps. Circle Hammer. Take your time, Shingo. Take your time. OK! Log Grip. OK! Jumping Spider. He's fallen here before. YES! No problem! And now the Half-Pipe Attack. Up and yes! AND NONONONONO! Careless miss!
CMs.
Ba..wait. Stupid fake-out. It was just Nagano running along to Shingo's run. More CMs.
Back for real. And yes, there is a slight incline and narrow plank from the Half-Pipe Attack to the Soritatsu Kabe. And Nagano was pissed. Isoi sugi!
Ouch.
Hang glider guy!
32. Kawashima Masami! 原島雅美! Steps! Ye..NO!
33. Aoki Yasuo! Sculptor guy! 青木保夫! Taking his time. And...he falls in the middle of the 3rd and 4th steps!
34. Kuramochi Minoru! 倉持稔! Or Octopus guy. Taka-tencho. Iku! Steps! NO!!!! The gap was too wide I guess. Or perhaps having an octopus stuck to his face took a bit more out of him than we thought.
Zannen deshita!
34 (supposedly) have gone! None have passed!
46. Sato Hiroki! He's an STQer (SASUKE Trial Qualifier). Our first. Steps. Circle Hammer. OK! Sorry, missed his number at first. Had to go back. Log Grip! Clear! Jumping Spider. YE...NO!!!!
Woo. Clips of him training. SASUKE training only! Kanno Hitoshi? 菅野仁志! Steps! OK! Circle Hammer. OK! Log Grip. YES! He's another STQer. Jumping Spider. Yes! A little unsure but through the Spider Walk. OK! Half-Pipe Attack. You can hear Yuji Urushihara in the background. Soritatsu Kabe! First try! Slider Jump. Yes! He goes the under. Watch your feet! Whoa! Almost! Yes! Tarzan Rope. Lots of time! Kanno! Kanno! Go! Go! Go! Hurry! Hurry! YES!!!!!!!! Cue Yagyu-Gaiden! With 3.7 left!
Shots of the crowd. The other STQers are going nuts. Yamada looks..salty.
50. David Campbell! Ninja Warrior! Steps. OK! If the commercials are right, he'll have a slight challenge on the Slider Jump. Circle Hammer...Log Grip. OK! Jumping Spider..Yes! A little unsure on the initial grip but OK! Half-Pipe Attack coming up. Yes! Can he make it two in a row? Soritatsu Kabe. First try! Slider Jump....Takes his time. Needs to hurry. YES! WHOA!!! He almost fell but held on! Hurry! Hurry! Yes! GO GO GO! Hurry! Time is going to go red! HURRY! HURRY! HURRY! HURRY! Jikan ga nai! NO!
Good job David!
So close. He underestimated the cardio!
88. Nakao Akiyoshi! He practiced with Mr. SASUKE. Will that matter? It didn't help Miyagi last time. Steps! Yes! Jeez. Jump the numbers why don't you TBS. Circle Hammer. Yes! Log Grip. Here he goes. Yes! Jumping Spider. Did Mr. SASUKE help him?
CMs.
Back!
Jumping Spider...And of course Mr. SASUKE did nothing to help him. He whiffs completely.
Well, at least it was dramatic.
STQers Nomura and Kawahara and Hashimoto Koji 橋本亘司 and Kawaguchi Tomohiro 川口朋広 all fall. Wow.
77. Urushihara Yuuji! 漆原裕治! Steps! Yes! It seems like he's the de facto STQ leader. Circle Hammer and Log Grip are OK. Jumping Spider. Yes! Yes! I bet he has the right shoes for this. Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! What does it say on his shirt? Soritatsu Kabe. Yes! Slider Jump! Yes! Up and over! Lots of time! Almost no problems! Tarzan Rope! Yes! Rope Ladder! Lots of time! Go! Go! Go! YES! YES! 7.5 seconds left!
All-Stars 0
STQers 2
Kanpeki na performance!
I won't make fun of his voice. I won't make fun of his voice. I won't make fun of his voice.
And shots of the high numbers! Jeez. Did people between 50 and 80 do absolutely nothing?
82. Miyashita Junichi! 宮下純一 He was a bronze medalist swimmer at Beijing. Steps.
CMs.
Take another Hyper Variety drink!
Back.
82. Junichi Miyashita! Steps! OK! Circle Hammer. OK! Log Grip. Takes his time. Yes! Jumping Spider. NO! He whiffs mid-air! Oh well.
79. Lee Yen Chi! リー・エンチ! Can he bring glory to Taiwan? Their baseball team sure didn't (!). Steps. Circle Hammer! Girigiri Safe! Log Grip. Jumping Spider..Yes! Uh OH..OK! Half-Pipe Attack. Lee Yen Chiiiiiiiii! Ikemen Rock Climber. Soritatsu Kabe. OK! Slider Jump. Yes! Don't take your time man! Hurry up! UH OH. Having problems on the net. HURRY! Go! GO! Tarzan Climb. GO! GO! YES! 2.6! That's three!
He was moving very confidently up until he got messed up in the net.
I have a theory that Slider Jump with the net is there to slow down people from...running around freely if you get my drift.
HERE WE GO! Mr. SASUKE! OH good. It's the kid again. OK, he's not currently dying so I believe Yamada is fair game.
81. Jeez. Hurry up.
81. Mr. SASUKE Yamada Katsumi! 山田勝己! Here we go! FALL! I mean...GO! Steps! And of course...
CMs.
Back.
81. Yamada Katsumi! Steps! I won't begrudge him if he passes this time. If only because of the child. Circle Hammer is unfortunately OK. Log Grip. OK. Yeah yeah. Jumping Spider as the crowd chants his name...YES! I mean NOOOOOOOOOOO! YAMADA HAS KILLED A CHILD!
Wow, if Yamada couldn't do it for a sick child, who can he do it for? He was up and then down again on the Jumping Spider. Sheesh. Do it for the hot dogs Katsumi!
84. Okuyama Yoshiyuki! 奥山義行! Here he goes. Steps! He's all dressed up this time. Circle Hammer. OK! Log Grip. Jumping Spider. YES! A little giri giri but yes! Through. Half-Pipe Attack. YES! Soritatsu Kabe. Time is OK. First time! Everyone is OWNING the Soritatsu Kabe tonight. Slider Jump. Yes! He goes the under. Watch your feet! Tarzan Rope. Lots of time. Tarzan Climb. And...the time is going red! Hurry! Yes! 3.3 seconds left!
You have a choice. Going over is safer but going under takes less time.
Takahashi Mitsuomi 高橋光臣 and Ryo Shirai 白井涼 (at the Tarzan Rope) go out. And K-1 fighter Watanabe Kazuhisa 渡辺一久.
Wakky wants to be the first celeb to get through.
89. Wakky of Penalty. Steps! OK! Circle Hammer. In the world of Monster 9, Wakky is a proven commodity. Log Grip is OK! In the world of non-Monster 9 programming SASUKE fans, Wakky is unproven. Jumping Spider. He's up! Really high! But he couldn't hold on! No!
Miyazaki and Hiromichi Sato are nervous.
Clips of Sato. He's arafo - around forty. Can he do it? I think there will be no cuts from here on out as...
90. Sato Hiromichi! 佐藤弘道 And his grin! Wait, he's not arafo..he's forty. Steps. Circle Hammer. Yes! Log Grip coming up. Readies himself. OK. Jumping Spider. Yes! A bit unsure on the Spider Walk though. OK! Half-Pipe Attack. Attack!! Yes. Soritatsu Kabe. This is his killer. First time! Jeez, is the wall lower or something. Slider Jump. Yes! Can he do it? He'd be the first legit celeb in ages. And...
CMs
Back.
The Slider Jump! Yes! He goes the over. Does he have time? Here he goes. Tarzan Climb...time is going red...Hurry! YES! 1.5 seconds left!
That's five! Heh, Shingo looks a little pissy in the background there.
And White SASUKE Jesus is waiting.
More clips of Sato actually doing something for once and earning his number.
91. Levi Meeuwenberg! He's the last hope for G4 today. JET got theirs man, JET got theirs.
The clips of Levi doing freerunning and meeting Nagano.
Here he goes. Steps. OK! Circle Hammer is OK. Log Grip. OK! Flip. Jumping Spider is no problem. Slightly awkward Spider Walk. Half-Pipe Attack is OK. Soritatsu Kabe. First try! Slider Jump. NO!!!!!!
Wow. He looked really confident going into that part. Erm..so was my theory correct? Ouch. Cue the overly dramatic music.
And it all makes sense now. G4 delays the broadcast and adds a live event to draw away from their overall showing in SASUKE 22.
He can't believe this happened. Most people can't. Wow. The crowd is really subdued.
92. Takeda Toshihiro! 竹田敏浩 Steps! Heh. Cocky guy.
CMs
And we're back! Wait. We're not. More teaser. They point out that three of the five All-Stars have failed and Takeda at the Jumping Spider.
CMs
Back.
Takeda! Step. OK! Circle Hammer. whoa...OK! Log Grip. He'll get through this no problem. Jumping Spider. Breath. ES!NO !NO!N!O!NO! I mean..NO! Wow.
Ah..He didn't get a clean jump. He was up...then he wasn't. Cue the dramatic music!
Ishimori Taiji 石森太二(NOAH) and Matsunaga Tomohiro 松永共広(silver medalist) and Iketani Naoki 池谷直樹 and Kawashima Takayuki 川島孝幸 (Muscle Musical) all fall to SASUKE.
96. Kitagawa Tomoki! He's a rugby player. Steps. Circle Hammer. Whoa....OK! Need a slight tug there. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider. YES! He's up! And...Slowly...He's not used to this I think. Her..NO! He didn't have it.
Next up. Paul ANTHONY Terek! It's time for some revenge! Terek should come to Japan as pro wrestler or something.
98. Paul ANTHONY Terek! Here he goes! Steps. Circle Hammer. Whoa..OK. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider! Yes! Man, he's too big for that thing. Slowly. He has on tabi. Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. NO! YES! Slider Jump coming up. Taking his time. Ye...NO! I guess he lost control at the end.
I guess it was time for SASUKE's revenge.
Slider Jump = White man killer. Damn racist.
Alright, I admit, I said double digits going to the 2nd Stage. I stat cursed SASUKE.
Clips of Mr. HANDBALL! By the way, did we see his teammate Sho Iwanaga?
Cue the King Kull music! It's Miyazaki Daisuke!
99. Miyazaki Daisuke! 宮崎大輔! Steps. Circle Hammer...whoa. OK. Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider. Yes! Here he goes. The walls must be slippery or something. Through. Half-Pipe Attack. Wow. Kind of a low run. Wait..He swings back and forth. Only once chance here. And he does the Soritatsu Kabe! Slider Jump. Yes! He goes over...is that a tactical mistake? Go! Hurry! He doesn't have much time. Tarzan Rope. Daijobu kanaa? Masaka! Masaka! Masaka!
Dammit. Miyazaki times out.
The Half-Pipe Attack took time but DO NOT GO OVER THE NET IF YOU DON'T HAVE TIME. It takes too long.
Apparently I missed Levi asking why he timed out. Um. OK.
Highlights and privacy invasion of Makoto Nagano's life.
The All-Stars are in a bad spot! Once again, Nagano is their only hope!
There's over an hour left, one person on the 1st Stage left and possibly three more stages to go. Interesting.
100. Nagano Makoto! 長野誠! Here he goes! Steps. OK. Circle Hammer is OK! Log Grip. Yes! Jumping Spider. Yes! Wow, he just kind of floated in the air there. Cool. Only he knew what he would do. Half-Pipe Attack. Yes! Soritatsu Kabe. Yes! Wow, only Terek missed it the first time (of those shown).
CMs
Back.
Here he goes...SlidinNO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a joke here written down about something blue and something about balls helping Nagano first attaining Kanzen Seiha that I will refrain from using out of respect to him.
Wow. He just missed getting a hand on the net.
Arsenette totally called it by the way.
2nd Stage!
Hrm..If Okuyama = Yes, then Nagano = No. Interesting.
A look at the stages. Nothing much changed yet. Let's see lots of people failing the Salmon Ladder. OK. The thing hasn't changed at all. 80 seconds to clear.
Here's the first! Kanno Hitoshi! 菅野仁志!
Wow. Sato and no All-Stars. Downhill Jump OK. Salmon Ladder. YES! No problem! Swing Ladder. OK! Metal Spin. Whoa..OK! YES! More than enough time! Wall Lifting. Yes! Yes! Yes! Wait...YES! He's through!
Wow, that was easy.
Shoes! It can only be Urushihara Yuji! 漆原裕治!
Wow, the crowd is super pumped up.
Downhill Jump is OK. Salmon Ladder. Slip. But re-aligns. No problem! Swing Ladder coming up. Metal Spin. OK! Wow, this is FAST! Wall Lifting. Hurry! Can he do it! YES! STQers represent!
Lee Yen Chi is up next! リー・エンチ! It's time for his revenge. Downhill Jump is OK. Salmon Ladder. He can get through this but he took too long last time. Yes! Damn, I think having the STQers there brings the energy level. Metal Spin. Yes! Wall Lifting. YES! YES!
That's three for three! Taiwan REPRESENT!
Wow. The STQers and Lee Yen Chi say "All-Stars who?"
I'm saying wow a lot. This maybe what SASUKE needs - the STQers are bringing such energy that everything feels..fresher. It's like Urushihara and Kanno are treating the course like it's SASUKE Park. Something you just do. Not something you obsess over (although they obviously do).
Next up! Okuyama Yoshiyuki! 奥山義行 Can he make it four for four?
Downhill Jump is OK. Salmon Ladder. YES! Swing Ladder. Still has lots of time. Metal Spin. YES! WOW! Wall Lifting. YES! YES! YEEEEEEEES! Four for four!
And now...Hiromichi Sato. 佐藤弘道 One of these things is not like the others.
Downhill Jump is OK. Can he do the Salmon Ladder? Halfway now. Oh wow. He did it! I'm amazed. Seriously. Swing Ladder. And break time.
CMs.
OK, the four who have made it through have maybe less than fifteen tries at the course total between them (Yamada has 21. Yamamoto, 22). This is crazy.
Back.
Metal Spin coming up. NO!!!!!!!!!! Whew, I needed someone to disappoint children. In that category, Hiromichi Sato did not LET ME DOWN!
Let's kill some time and look at his run again.
Wow, four of five move on.
3rd Stage
Arm Ring. Kudari Lamp Grasper. Devil Steps. Shin-Cliff HangerJumping Bar. Hang Climbing. Spider Flip. (Not so) Gliding Ring. No time limit. Wow. absolutely no shots of the All-Stars at all.
The Final Stage is waiting!
菅野仁志 Kanno up first. Arm Rings. OK. Kudari Lamp Grasper. Clip. I guess he needed another can of SASUKE Spray. Good rhythm. And OK! Looks a little shaky.
Devil Steps. This took out Miyazaki last time. Here he goes. At the turn. OK. NO problem! Rest time. Shin-Cliff Hanger. Here he goes. At the slant...Going for the jump. He'll make it. YES!
CMs
OK, his Shin-Cliff Hanger attempt was in a commercial (one of the commercials) so that shouldn't have been a surprise. But I guess since no one knew who he was, most probably dismissed it.
Back.
Shin-Cliff Hanger. Yes! Jumping Bar coming up. Lee Yen Chi looks on! His family is pumped! I'm sorry but this is the most excited I've seen a crowd in ages.
Jumping Bar. One. Two. Three. Four. Hang Climbing coming up. OK. OK. OK. Ikeru! Ikeru! Yes! Spider Flip coming up. Daijobu! Some time getting set.
WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
COURSE OUT!!!! NOO!!!!!! He was pretty much spent.
Once he put his legs on the bar, he was out. But hey, he's in the company of the All-Stars. And even surpassed Takeda.
Shoes. Shoes. Shoes. Shoes. Muscle Park. He lives with his mom! It's Urushihara Yuji! 漆原裕治!
UNCLI represent! Arm Rings. No problem. Hahaha. His UNCLI shirt has the kanji for shoes on the sleeve. He's the No. 3 Cliffer.
Kudari Lamp Grasper. OK! Devil Steps coming up. Good - really freaking fast - Devil Steps rhythm. Wow. Hey, that teenager is there. Shin-Cliff Hanger coming up. At the slant. YES! NO PROBLEM! Wow. He totally pwned that thing as the kids say.
Is our hero of the new age Urushihara Yuji? Lee Yen Chi? Okuyama Yoshiyuki?
Back.
He hits the Shin-Cliff Hanger like he went to some indoor amusement park and practiced it over a dozen times!
Rest as he gets ready for the Jumping Bars. One. Two. Three. Four! Hang Climbing coming up. I guess you can use it like a rock climb. Spider Flip coming up. Don't touch the poles man! He's up. Getting ready. Ikeru yo! Resting. Or praying. Hard to say. Getting ready again. He changed his shoes I think. Yeah, he has different shoes on. Only Nagano has passed this. Here he goes. YES! The jump is not the point. It's that you have to get down and get ready later. Gliding Ring! Wow. This is awesome. Here he goes. It glides! JUMP! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Final Stage here we come!
The SASUKE Park All-Stars and Ultimate Cliffers jump for joy as Katsumi Yamada looks on. Heh.
OK, see, this is the thing. Because Nagano did it for the All-Stars. Urushihara is doing it for a bigger, just as dedicated group of people. That's why this is so emotional.
Poor Lee Yen Chi and Okuyama Yoshiyuki don't have much time to do their thing.
JET has to be happy about this. Lee Yen Chi! リー・エンチ!
Arm Rings. Kudari Lamp Grasper. He looks more ripped than usual but can he do it? Does he have it in him? A bit hangy, as opposed to the other two. But he's through! Devil Steps. He'll rest and spray up here. Up. Yes. At the turn. Yes! This the big one. Shin-Cliff Hanger. Here he goes. At the slant. Whoa...OK. Here he goes. Wait...NO!
He wasn't set. Still, JET has to be happy. Let's give him a hand!
Replays.
He wants to do this again!
Okuyama! 奥山義行! We have about twenty minutes left and we know that someone is moving on. I'll be frank, it doesn't look good for Yoshiyuki.
Arm Rings are no problem. Can he make his children happy? Or will THEY GO HOME IN TEARS! Kudari Lamp Grasper. No problem! Yoshiyuki impresses me and then we go to commercials.
CMs
OK, it's those stupid Baby Cokes. Hurry up!
Back.
Kudari Lamp Grasper is no problem. Here comes the Devil Steps. Getting set. Up. Methodical. At the turn. And he's through!
Shin-Cliff Hanger...Everyone is waiting...At the slant...Here he goes. NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And the kids are surprised. The girl is on the verge of tears...stay on her! Stay on her! No. Darn it. Kuyashii node mata ganbarimasu!
It's like his real Olympic dream!
Urushihara Yuji is the first man to make the new Final Stage! And Mr. Yamada drops his two cents. Let's see...there wil be a montage and then what?
Rope Climb for 4. Spider Climb to Rope Climb for 17. But since then...no one. We don't even know what it is.
NEW FINAL STAGE!
COMMERCIALS!
Here's a theory: THE OTHER ALL-STARS HAD ENOUGH CLASS TO STAY AWAY AND LET SOMEONE ELSE TAKE THE STAGE. GO AWAY FOR NOW. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
The New FINAL STAGE: Heavenly Ladder to the G Rope. 45 seconds? Yeesh.
BUG IN MIKI footage. And then shots of him training at a playground. Can he be the third man to finish SASUKE?
Woooooo..Okuyama is PIMPING in that jacket.
I've never liveblogged a Final Stage before. It's uncharted territory for everyone!
Jeez. That's high.
ONE MAN LEFT STANDING. He is URUSHIHARA YUJI. 漆原裕治!
And he has the support of the STQers. The Unlimited Cliffers. The SASUKE Park All-Stars. If he does it. It's for them.
Here we go!
Up the Heavenly Ladder.
10 M mark.
CMs
Of course.
Don't complain. You knew it was coming.
Back.
Here he goes. Heavenly Ladder. At the 10 Meter mark. At the G Rope! GO MAN GO!
19
18
17
16
15
14
13
12
Time is going red! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
SO CLOSE!
Damn.
To tell the truth, I thought going in he was going to make it.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. The only thing I can do is laugh.
That is awesome. TBS led me on and got me thinking someone was going to finish tonight.
You know what? Whatever. We just saw a "new hero" born. A dark horse whose group seemed to bring a lot more energy to the later stages than the last few shows.
Is this the turning point? This isn't like 20 when Levi was the last man standing and the All-Stars crapped out. Naturally, this is better if only for the number of people moving on. This isn't even like the All-Stars return to form in 21. Sure it was emotional but this was fresher. Different. It wasn't just because of a new group of faces. Only Kanno was going through his first try at SASUKE. And yet, it didn't suffer at all with the lack of All-Stars. TBS and Monster 9 have been looking for their new stars and really, I've never understood why they've never given Urushihara's group more chances. They have to know who they are. They know that they are at the Trials. That they send in letters and videos. That they are at Muscle Park. And now one of them has gone farther than anyone else in the last five shows. They are the future of SASUKE if it wants to stay alive in Japan. Give them a chance Monster 9.
As far as this SASUKE was concerned it was STQers that stole the show from the All-Stars and maybe that's how it's going to be from now on.
Monday, June 02, 2008
SASUKE MANIAC June 2, 2008 Sort of liveblog! サスケマニア
This week! Momomi Yoshino has taken her wreath home (she looks really content in those pictures) and the Muscle Queen competition is over! What will SASUKE Maniac throw at us now?
Well, back on May 18th, there was the BUG IN MIKI event (note: it should always be in capital letters like that. Like saying SASUKE. Or Paul ANTHONY Terek. And how random does that sound? BUG IN MIKI! I'm going to start using that in my every day conversations. I'll use it like an interjection.
"Want to go see Iron Man?"
"Iron Man? BUG IN MIKI! That sounds good!"
"Garnett goes up for the dunk!"
"BUG IN MIKI! That was awesome!"
Note: I have not seen Iron Man yet. It's not coming to Japan until September 2008. And I don't know who to root for in the NBA Finals this year.)
Oh. Anyway, BUG IN MIKI is an event held in Miki City 三木市 in Hyogo for Volkswagon lovers in Japan. This blog's favorite BUG IN MIKIn' SASUKE All-Star Mr. SASUKE has attended it before (how red does he look in this picture? Was he hitting the 400 yen beer tent earlier in the day?) but this year the All-Stars made an appearance! And Monster 9 was there! BUG IN MIKI!
As always, Arsenette has the pictures and her own thoughts here.
Here we go. Hrm. Monster 9 spells it as BUG in MIKI. All-Stars! Everyone except Akiyama is there. And Monster 9 shows the Yamada crying clip AGAIN. Someone there truly hates him.
Quick recap of why the All-Stars are the All-Stars. Bunpei! Takeda! Nagano! Look, there's the clip of Takeda looking up a young girl's skirt again.
Hahaha, look at Yamamoto goofing around while Yamada tries to explain the course. Did he design it?
There is a kind of competition amongst the attendees for something. Some can and some can't. There is a Shin-Cliff Hanger but it isn't nearly as hard as the real one. Introductions. Yamada! Shiratori! Yamamoto! Nagano! Wait. Did they introduce Takeda? I have no idea.
First guy is from Saitama. WAIT. THAT'S THE SAME GUY FROM THE MAGURO FESTIVAL (Yahagi Makoto 矢作誠 for the curious). Geez, he's persistent. He's done the SASUKE Trial. He's gone to Muscle Park. They show his Maguro Festival run again. Pipe Slider first. Lamp Grasper. A version of the Soritatsu Kabe. Devil Steps. He's doing well so far. Oops. I just realized I forgot to start recording this. Salmon Ladder. Shin-Cliff Hanger. Can he do it? NO! He just missed. Mottainai!
Six try. Six fail! Either on the Shin-Cliff Hanger or the Salmon Ladder.
Another firefighter (Imada?) fails the Shin-Cliff Hanger.
The All-Stars are nervous!
The next guy has been to Muscle Park before and has actually been on SASUKE but wiped out on the Jumping Spider. He's doing well. They clip his run to the Soritatsu Kabe. Salmon Ladder is no problem. Shin-Cliff Hanger...NO! Oshi!
Next guy! Urushihara Yuuji 漆原裕治! He's from Tokyo. Yamamoto says something about the guy that I didn't catch. Doing well so far. Devil Steps. OK! Salmon Ladder. Yes! Shin-Cliff Hanger! YES! He does it! The crowd oohs and aahs! He's the first clear! Mr. SASUKE shakes his hand while the guy is bowing to him Mr. SASUKE walks away! Dick. He finished in 51.54.
Everyone is trying to show-up the All-Stars! Next guy is blitzing the course! Shin-Cliff Hanger...He reaches...YES! He finishes in 51.80. Mottainai!
The All-Stars are nervous! Takeda says 50 seconds! Is that a promise?
All-Stars are up next! Mr. SASUKE is first! Pipe Slider. Lamp Grasper. Soritatsu kabe. All are no problem! But he's behind the split! (by about a second). Salmon Ladder. He only has five seconds to do the Shin-Cliff Hanger! He goes! HA! I mean, NO!
Yamamoto is up next. Pipe Slider. Lamp Grasper. Soritatsu Kabe. He's ahead of the split by about four seconds. He's at forty seconds as he reaches the jump portion of the Shin-Cliff Han..NO! He doesn't do it!
Takeda is next! He says that he's not going to lose to Nagano! The shirt is off! He's beating the split by about five seconds. He reaches the Shin-Cliff Hanger at thirty seconds. 35 seconds. NO! Takeda fails! Will the All-Stars fall to a bunch of random guys! I guess Bunpei isn't trying.
Makoto Nagano! You're our only hope! Can he salvage All-Star pride?
All-Stars dai pinch! Whooo. I'm behind. He reaches the Shin-Cliff Hanger at under 30 seconds. He's going to make the jump! But of course we hit our first commercial break.
We're back! Can he do it? The jump...NO! Nagano mo! Everyone is shocked and has a hearty laugh at him! I guess the Shin-Cliff Hanger wasn't as easy as I thought. Urushihara Yuji is your SASUKE ATTACK winner today! Will we see him at the next SASUKE!
Let's learn more about Yuji! But first, Jero wants you to buy coffee.
Just to recap, it was Pipe Slider, Lamp Grasper, Soritatsu Kabe, Devil Steps, Salmon Ladder, Shin-Cliff Hanger.
What is with that intel commercial?
He sells shoes? Let's see him practice! He does lots of chin-ups all over town. He wants to appear on the big show. Wait, did the producer just offer him a spot? Whoa, there's a mixi community for SASUKE? I'm so there. He has a Shunsuke Nagasaki autograph.
They speak to his mom and the producer confirms what I thought: that Urushihara Yuji (漆原裕治) is someone we'll have to keep an eye out for the next SASUKE. Yatta! Remember that name!
And let's end the program with some clips of the last SASUKE and the call for entrants for SASUKE 21! I'm betting that from now on the program will be devoted to gathering up people for the next SASUKE.
Just in case people want to know:
【出場選手大募集】
サスケ第21回記念大会出場者大募集。
氏名・年齢・職業・連絡先・住所・出場への意気込みを
書いて下記あて先までご応募下さい。写真・VTRもあれば尚可。
〒107-8066 TBSテレビ
「サスケマニア」出場選手募集係まで
Participants Wanted
Those interested in participating in the SASUKE 21 Competition.
Please write your name, age, occupation, address and where to contact you to the following address. Photos and video tape recordings are also accepted.
107-8066 TBS Television
"SASUKE Maniac" Recruitment
Well, back on May 18th, there was the BUG IN MIKI event (note: it should always be in capital letters like that. Like saying SASUKE. Or Paul ANTHONY Terek. And how random does that sound? BUG IN MIKI! I'm going to start using that in my every day conversations. I'll use it like an interjection.
"Want to go see Iron Man?"
"Iron Man? BUG IN MIKI! That sounds good!"
"Garnett goes up for the dunk!"
"BUG IN MIKI! That was awesome!"
Note: I have not seen Iron Man yet. It's not coming to Japan until September 2008. And I don't know who to root for in the NBA Finals this year.)
Oh. Anyway, BUG IN MIKI is an event held in Miki City 三木市 in Hyogo for Volkswagon lovers in Japan. This blog's favorite BUG IN MIKIn' SASUKE All-Star Mr. SASUKE has attended it before (how red does he look in this picture? Was he hitting the 400 yen beer tent earlier in the day?) but this year the All-Stars made an appearance! And Monster 9 was there! BUG IN MIKI!
As always, Arsenette has the pictures and her own thoughts here.
Here we go. Hrm. Monster 9 spells it as BUG in MIKI. All-Stars! Everyone except Akiyama is there. And Monster 9 shows the Yamada crying clip AGAIN. Someone there truly hates him.
Quick recap of why the All-Stars are the All-Stars. Bunpei! Takeda! Nagano! Look, there's the clip of Takeda looking up a young girl's skirt again.
Hahaha, look at Yamamoto goofing around while Yamada tries to explain the course. Did he design it?
There is a kind of competition amongst the attendees for something. Some can and some can't. There is a Shin-Cliff Hanger but it isn't nearly as hard as the real one. Introductions. Yamada! Shiratori! Yamamoto! Nagano! Wait. Did they introduce Takeda? I have no idea.
First guy is from Saitama. WAIT. THAT'S THE SAME GUY FROM THE MAGURO FESTIVAL (Yahagi Makoto 矢作誠 for the curious). Geez, he's persistent. He's done the SASUKE Trial. He's gone to Muscle Park. They show his Maguro Festival run again. Pipe Slider first. Lamp Grasper. A version of the Soritatsu Kabe. Devil Steps. He's doing well so far. Oops. I just realized I forgot to start recording this. Salmon Ladder. Shin-Cliff Hanger. Can he do it? NO! He just missed. Mottainai!
Six try. Six fail! Either on the Shin-Cliff Hanger or the Salmon Ladder.
Another firefighter (Imada?) fails the Shin-Cliff Hanger.
The All-Stars are nervous!
The next guy has been to Muscle Park before and has actually been on SASUKE but wiped out on the Jumping Spider. He's doing well. They clip his run to the Soritatsu Kabe. Salmon Ladder is no problem. Shin-Cliff Hanger...NO! Oshi!
Next guy! Urushihara Yuuji 漆原裕治! He's from Tokyo. Yamamoto says something about the guy that I didn't catch. Doing well so far. Devil Steps. OK! Salmon Ladder. Yes! Shin-Cliff Hanger! YES! He does it! The crowd oohs and aahs! He's the first clear! Mr. SASUKE shakes his hand while the guy is bowing to him Mr. SASUKE walks away! Dick. He finished in 51.54.
Everyone is trying to show-up the All-Stars! Next guy is blitzing the course! Shin-Cliff Hanger...He reaches...YES! He finishes in 51.80. Mottainai!
The All-Stars are nervous! Takeda says 50 seconds! Is that a promise?
All-Stars are up next! Mr. SASUKE is first! Pipe Slider. Lamp Grasper. Soritatsu kabe. All are no problem! But he's behind the split! (by about a second). Salmon Ladder. He only has five seconds to do the Shin-Cliff Hanger! He goes! HA! I mean, NO!
Yamamoto is up next. Pipe Slider. Lamp Grasper. Soritatsu Kabe. He's ahead of the split by about four seconds. He's at forty seconds as he reaches the jump portion of the Shin-Cliff Han..NO! He doesn't do it!
Takeda is next! He says that he's not going to lose to Nagano! The shirt is off! He's beating the split by about five seconds. He reaches the Shin-Cliff Hanger at thirty seconds. 35 seconds. NO! Takeda fails! Will the All-Stars fall to a bunch of random guys! I guess Bunpei isn't trying.
Makoto Nagano! You're our only hope! Can he salvage All-Star pride?
All-Stars dai pinch! Whooo. I'm behind. He reaches the Shin-Cliff Hanger at under 30 seconds. He's going to make the jump! But of course we hit our first commercial break.
We're back! Can he do it? The jump...NO! Nagano mo! Everyone is shocked and has a hearty laugh at him! I guess the Shin-Cliff Hanger wasn't as easy as I thought. Urushihara Yuji is your SASUKE ATTACK winner today! Will we see him at the next SASUKE!
Let's learn more about Yuji! But first, Jero wants you to buy coffee.
Just to recap, it was Pipe Slider, Lamp Grasper, Soritatsu Kabe, Devil Steps, Salmon Ladder, Shin-Cliff Hanger.
What is with that intel commercial?
He sells shoes? Let's see him practice! He does lots of chin-ups all over town. He wants to appear on the big show. Wait, did the producer just offer him a spot? Whoa, there's a mixi community for SASUKE? I'm so there. He has a Shunsuke Nagasaki autograph.
They speak to his mom and the producer confirms what I thought: that Urushihara Yuji (漆原裕治) is someone we'll have to keep an eye out for the next SASUKE. Yatta! Remember that name!
And let's end the program with some clips of the last SASUKE and the call for entrants for SASUKE 21! I'm betting that from now on the program will be devoted to gathering up people for the next SASUKE.
Just in case people want to know:
【出場選手大募集】
サスケ第21回記念大会出場者大募集。
氏名・年齢・職業・連絡先・住所・出場への意気込みを
書いて下記あて先までご応募下さい。写真・VTRもあれば尚可。
〒107-8066 TBSテレビ
「サスケマニア」出場選手募集係まで
Participants Wanted
Those interested in participating in the SASUKE 21 Competition.
Please write your name, age, occupation, address and where to contact you to the following address. Photos and video tape recordings are also accepted.
107-8066 TBS Television
"SASUKE Maniac" Recruitment
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