Oh hey

Look, it's that DaiGo guy.

It's Kane Kosugi's Birthday!

I would post something new for Kane Kosugi's birthday but I sort of just took it easy today (and during 体育の日!) so here are some some links for you:

Kane's "Silent Storm"
Kane is the "image character" for Spalding Japan (non-pro athlete division)
The aborted Kane Kosugi week from two years ago

Thanks to youtube user vatoubarzing, the final fight from Coweb:

Important JOSF Announcement

Attention JOSF members!

The race scheduled for October 17th has been moved to October 24th because there was a sudden need of the lot.

10月17日(日)開催の緑山10月定期戦は緑山スタジオにおいて急遽大規模な撮影がおこなわれる事になり日程を変更し10月24日(日)に開催いたします。
http://www.josf.gr.jp/2010/10/10_1.php

Change your Sasukemania bookmark..maybe?

Well, that's weird.

Apparently simple ol'  http://sasukemania.com/ is now the more complicated http://digital9.3zoku.com/sasukemania.com/ as of tonight.

The main thing to note, though, is that the link for the address for people to send in their applications is now gone.

*Cue ominous music*

筋肉番付 怪傑! 金剛くん Kinniku Banzuke Kaiketsu! Kongou-kun

In 2001 - 2003, Monster 9 main man Ushio Higuchi teamed up with Ouchi Suigun 大内水軍 to create 筋肉番付 怪傑! 金剛くん Kinniku Banzuke Kaiketsu! Kongou-kun. The comic was about Kinniku Banzuke's mascot character Kongou-kun and his adventures with his friends. In one story arc, they take a comic-ized version of SASUKE. (Click to enlarge)

















Most of the obstacles are not very different from the real things other than being exaggerated in size and the fact that the competitors take on the obstacles at the same time whilst fighting. One thing to note though is that in the Final Stage, when they are going up the Spider Climb, rather than the walls separating after a certain amount of time, the walls start closing in on the contestants. So yeah.

Triple Rangers - Magnitude X トリプルレンジャーズ～マグニチュードＸ 本編

The "full" movie is now up!



http://ameblo.jp/588416/entry-10591665572.html

SASUKE Mobile Site closing

Not that it matters to people outside of Japan but the SASUKE Mobile Site (315 yen a month!) will be shutting down on August 31st. For now it looks like the 筋肉モバイル (Kinniku Mobile) site will stay up. It's the more active of the two, as it covers the Muscle Musical and features new content on a fairly regular basis.

It's possible that Monster 9 is pulling the plug too quickly. There is nothing to promote between SASUKEs so naturally there won't be much interest in the site. Unless they want to devote a site to stalking the All-Stars, New Stars and Lee Enchi they don't have much to work with. Seeing the All-Stars at some event is nice but pretty meaningless in the long run since it's just generating interest among those who are already fans.

Frankly, I'm not that surprised that the site is going down. Monster 9 tends to have ADD when it comes to marketing. SASUKE Matsuri? Only held once. The SASUKE Library app? Only for 23. Two SASUKEs have gone by since then. And it was pretty useless. SASUKE Challenger? Once you finish it there's no incentive to keep it on your apple device much less play it again (unless someone figures out how to get the Extra Stages). The SASUKE website?　It hasn't been updated in months. Poor Yuuji doesn't get to have his picture up with Nagano and Akiyama.

Just get a weekly TV show already.

Triple Rangers - Magnitude X: See Hitoshi Kanno do some...stuff! トリプルレンジャーズ～マグニチュードＸ～

Actor and one-time SASUKE participant (SASUKE 19) Hitotsugu Kobayashi 小林博嗣 has gotten together with SASUKE New Star Hitoshi Kanno 菅野仁志, frying pan abuser Shinya Kishimoto 岸本真弥 from SASUKE 25 and some other guy named Nakajima 中島 to put together a video called Triple Rangers - Magnitude X トリプルレンジャーズ～マグニチュードＸ～. This is just the trailer, the full "film" is coming!



Will it be any better (or worse) than Toyohisa Iijima's classic Break Out?

Check out Hitotsugu Kobayashi's blog for photos of our heroes and more!

And just because, here's the Scott Pilgrim trailer. Book Six comes out later this month!

Monster 9's new address

In an effort to avoid endless SASUKE entries from people, Monster 9 is moving into the shiny and new Ao Building where they are creating "a higher standard of living like you've never had before."

But since annoying people is a pastime of mine, here is their new address:

〒107-0061
東京都港区北青山3-11-7　Ao 13F

〒107-0061
Tokyo-to Minato-ku Kitaaoyama 3-11-7 Ao 13F

Not sure how it compares to their old digs but this building is less than two years old and if you want to live the dream of working near Ushio Higuchi, here you go.

Maybe M9 just got tired of being surrounded by the Amuse and Symantec people.

M9 news release.

The Meeting

Several years ago, TBS and Monster 9 brought together six men from different walks of life to form Captain Planet Voltron, Defender of the Universe The New Monkees The SASUKE All-Stars!

MN: Makoto Nagano
TT: Toshihiro Takeda
SY: Shingo Yamamoto
KA: Kazuhiko Akiyama
KY: Katsumi Yamada



SY: Look, I'm just saying that we shouldn't baby him and tell him straight up what's going on.

KA: Is he here? I can't tell.

MN: I know but you know how he can ge..

TT: Shh..he's coming.

KY: Hey guys! I was wondering where you all were! I thought you were hiding from me again! Like that game we always play where all of you go off somewhere without telling me and I have to search for you and...

MN: Um..yeah. That game. We were playing that game again Katsumi. Look, we need to talk. Sit down.

KY: Sure! Is this about the spray? I know I didn't send as much as before bu..

TT: I think we have enough spray Katsumi.

KY: Are you sure? I think there's an expiration date on the cans somewhere. I have one in my pocket right now. Let me take a...

SY: Katsumi. We don't want to talk about the spray.

KA: Huh? What? Is everyone here? You guys have to move a bit closer. I can hear you but I can't see you.

KY: Oh. OK. Well, what's up?

SY: Makoto?

MN: Well, actually, there are two things we have to talk about. Or rather, two people. First of all, we know that Bunpei has been injured recently and it looks more and more like he may not be able to compete anymore.

KY: That's a shame that. I keep telling him to try to use the spray on his back but he never does.

MN: Um. Right. Well, the boys at Monster 9 gave us a suggestion and we think it's a good one. At least something we'll try out for a bit.

KY: We're disbanding the All-Stars??? Oh no!

TT: No, we're not disbanding.

KY: Alright! We're getting the band back together! Woo-hoo! World tour here we come!!

SY: Huh? We never broke up. What the hell are you talking about you freaking mor..

MN: What Shingo is trying to say is that we're not breaking up or getting back together. We're going to try to insert some new blood into the All-Stars. We all have our distinct personalities and occupations and whatnot.

TT: Right. Makoto is like the all-around guy. Shingo is the goofy guy.

SY: Toshihiro is the talented choker.

*Shingo and Toshihiro glare at each other*

MN: Err..Bunpei is the deceptively athletic guy. Kazuhiko and you are the power guys.

KY: OK. I think I understand. So they want us to try to keep the same make-up of the group? Get in some fresh faces, eh?

MN: Exactly. But we want to keep the number at six. So if Bunpei is out we had to find someone who sort of is like him. And we think we found someone. Hey, Yuuji?



Yuuji Urushihara: Hello, sirs!

KY: Shoe guy? Really? Are you sure about that? Because you know, I've trained quite a few guys in the past and...

TT: He has a name, Katsumi. And no, we don't really think your trainees are quite up to snuff..yet.

KY: C'mon. You know you guys just want the free shoes he can get you. It's gotta be the shoes, right?



SY: What the hell was that?

KA: Is there someone else in here? What does "Money, it's gotta be the shoes" mean?

MN: Yuuji has proven himself admirably thus far. Right, Yuuji? We're not just using him for shoes.

YU: That's right Mr. Nagano sir!

MN: Oh, and Yuuji, do you have these in black? That's more my color.

YU: I'll check in the back sir!

KY: Well, OK. Shoe guy it is. But you said two people?

TT: Hitoshi, you can come in now.



Hitoshi Kanno: Awww yeeaaah! Check me out! You know who should join the Self-Defense Force?

TT: Um, no. Who?

HK: Me! Cuz check out these guns! Pow pow!

TT: ...

MN: ...

SY: ...

KA: What? Who's there?

HK: Blam! Blam!

YU: Does anyone need socks to try on their shoes first?

KY: Oh. OK. But wait...you said you wanted to keep it at six? If Shoe Guy is replacing Bunpei then who is um..Gun Guy re...OH NO!

MN: So you get it?

KY: Kazuhiko?!?!? You guys are so mean! I mean I know Kazuhiko is blind as a bat but..

KA: Who said that? Katsumi? Who called me blind? I dare you to call me that to my face. But like, can you move closer to my face so I can see you?

MN: Umm..

SY: See, I told you.

KY: Chill out K-Man! I'm gonna save you from these bullies!

TT: Argh. We're not kicking Kazuhiko out.

KY: Huh? Then who? Obviously Kanno is a power guy.

HK: Zap! Bzzzap! Bzzzap!

MN: Bzzap?

HK: Laser guns!

MN: ...

*The All-Stars who can see all turn to look at Yamada*

MN: Katsumi, there's no easy way to say this...

KY: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. After all the spray I've given you guys? Even after all that?

SY: This has nothing to do with the spray Katsumi. You know it's been ten straight times you've failed the 1st Stage, right?

KY: Kazuhiko has been sucking for a while too you know!

KA: OK, that's definitely Katsumi. Move your face closer to my fist so I can bop you one!

TT: He's made the 2nd Stage a lot more recently than you have.

KY: But I'm the face of SASUKE! I'm Mr. SASUKE! MR. SASUKE! You can't kick me out!

YU: Serves you right for dissing me, old man.

KY: WHAT WAS THAT, SHOE BOY?

YU: Err..Do you need extra laces with that sir?

MN: Katsumi, it's embarrassing. We cheer you on. We give you advice. We do everything we can for you. It's time to move on.

KY: NO! OK! I KNOW! Umm..we can all wear masks! Like a bunch of luchadors! The SASUKE Vilanos! Or the Killer SASUKES! Then, Makoto will run instead of me and then at the end we switch places before the interview and then I'll unmask and everyone will be like "Wow!" and...

TT: That's not going to work.

KY: It will!

SY: It won't.

HK: Bang! Bang!

KY: I'm gonna tell Mr. Higuchi!

MN: It was his idea Katsumi. Look, you'll still get invited to the show. You'll still be Mr. SASUKE. You just won't be an All-Star. I think it'll be good for you. Less pressure.

KY: NO! I wanna be an All-Star! I wanna! Fine then! I retire!

TT: Right now?

KY: Um..Yes! No! After the next show! If I can't pass the 1st Stage I'll retire!

MN: You don't have to do th...

KY: I'm gonna call Mr. Higuchi right now and tell him to put it in all the magazines and on the websites and I'm gonna tell everyone what a bunch of meanies you are and *sob sob sob sob*

MN: Why don't we go outside and calm down...

*Nagano, Takeda, Yamamoto and Akiyama take Yamada outside*

YU: Are they gone?

HK: Blam! I mean, yeah.

YU: Good. And now our plan is starting to come together! Soon we will oust all the All-Stars and replace them with new blood! Buahahahahahaha!

HK: Buahahahahaha! Did you like my cover character? Check out these guns!

YU: Yeah, that was great. Now help me put these shoes away.

See you at SASUKE 24!

(Photos courtesy of Rambling Rican)

KUNOICHI 2009 The Sort of Live Blog!

KUNOICHI 2009!

I'll fill this part in later.

Let's get to it!

Wow, that looks like a lot to set up for the show.

1st Stage. Groups of four. The top two advance to the 2nd Stage.

Let's catch some reactions to their groupings.

There are flags at the end. YOU MUST GET ONE!

Group One!
Pro lacrosse plater, Watanabe Sae, Inoue Masumi, Nail Artist Kanna something.

Two minutes to finish.

Good night to the nail artist. Watanabe is ahead. Wait, no she isnt. Oh crap this is hard to follow. Lacrosse player and soft tennis player are the only ones left. Yamada is almost through! She's up to the net. Inoue is there, too. Lots of time left. And that's one! And that's two!

Let's look at the nail artist get hit where the men would DIE.

Group Two!

Street dancer Yamada. Three others.

Everyone going so far. Snow boarder is last but has now caught up. Wait..NO! Yes! Everyone is through. Spider walk like thing. Muscle Musical girl is ahead. All up to the swing. Everyone is through! And it's a race up the net! Who will it be? Can they push each other off? Oshima is through! And street dancer Yamada!

Group Three!

Actress Miki Hara. Three others.

Here we go! Up to the log. All through. Cut to the swing thing. That's one! Two! Someone overshoots! And the other girl has given up since she's stuck on the log thingy. Uh oh. Time is going red. Yes! Miki Hara and someone else are through!

Group Four!

Magician Yukari Nishi, idol Ami Tokito, a model, comedienne Harumi Edo.

Let's see Edo run the 24 Hour Television marathon. I don't expect much out of her but hey, I don't work in casting. KU NO I CHI.

Ah..OK, the model is Mika Kagoshima. My first full group of names! And Nishi does magic! But let's go to a commercial first. Perhaps she can magic herself to the finish line. Or would that be against the rules?

Was that a Soka Gakkai commercial?

Back. Let's see the magic again! Or maybe not.

They're off! Racer is OUT! Tokito is ahead. Some pro..NO! That's it for her! Magician Nishi and Edo are kind of stuck. Edo is...Um...OK. some problems for both of them. Yes! Spider Walking thingy. OK, not really Spider Walk since there are ledges on the fences. Magician finally falls into the water. MAGIC IS NOT REAL! Does she have enough time? Edo is up to the swing. Not much time left. Um. OK. And...NO! She didn't have the form. That's all four!

Tokito rushed so that killed her. Edo was a female stereotype so that did her in.

Group Five!

Hiromi Satake and wait..um..

A whole bunch of people fail. That wasn't a group.

Group Five!

Former Morning Musume member Makoto Ogawa!

So is the repechage for eveyrone or just the ones where no one cleared?

Whoops. They started already. Everyone up to the Multiple Log bridge thing. Fence Walk. NO! That's one. And the messenger is out at the bridge. And there goes Ogawa! Cut to the last person at the swing...AND SHE OVERSHOOTS!

THEY CHANGED THE NAMES OF THE OBSTACLES! Bastards.

I guess in theory you could swing all the way to net.

Group Six!

Comedienne Itou Asako, Akiko benchpress champion, ballroom dancer, idol Manami Hashimoto.

Is the log hurdle an obstacle?

Akiko Benchpress champion is OUT! The log bridge thing. Ballroom dancer is through! There's Hashimoto! And Itou! Fence Walk. The ballroom dancer flashes her lady clothes in an un-ladylike way and then FAILS THE SWING! Two left.

But let's cut to the commercials first!

 Back!

Itou does the "It's scary schtick." Then falls in anyway! And there goes Hashimoto! That's everyone! Wait. So do the top two go to the repechage?

Group Seven! And Group Eight!

A bunch of actresses and the AKB48 members all fail!

Group Eight! Idol Akai Saki fails!

And there goes Role Chen in Group Nine or maybe not Group Nine. Argh!

Screw it.

Group Ten!

An idol, Rie Komiya and...her clips of past KUNOICHI performances. And SASUKE. I think they're building her up for something. Fukushima Wakaga. And a Crane operator.

Ready! *Bang!*

Komiya is ahead. Whoa! OK. Fence walk thing. I guess it doesn't matter which one you take. Komiya is through. Swing thing. Fukushima is still there. Komiya is through! Fukushima..NO! She was almost there! And Komiya is through! Whoops. Sorry cra..oh wait. There she is. She was too short to get to the Ladder nad timed out.

Hey! Chie Nishimura! Let's go back in time and see the only woman who ever cleared the 1st Stage of SASUKE. Her kids are there. That's not good.

Chie Nishimura. Here they go. Kitagawa is out! Maeda is out! Arimatsu! Yes! Nishimura...NO! She fell as she hit the platform! Shouldn't have brought the kids.

Group Eleven!

Double dutcher (umm) Rin! Lacrosse player! Triathlon lady! Satomi Kadoi of the Muscle Musical!

High level group!

Here we go. Kadoi is ahead. Some trouble with the logs. Kadoi is through! Rin is ahead! Rin and Kadoi are neck and neck! Last part! Kadoi yes! Rin hits the platform and falls! Serves her right for waving her hands in the air like she didn't care. Wait. Still time for the girl whose blog I found before!

Group Twelve!

Ayako Inada of the Muscle Musical! Cut to just her clearing.

Miku Asai, pro wakeboarder! I guess she was the only one to reach since she grabbed both flags.

Other people passed! One of them was Shingo Yamamoto's underling!

Group Thirteen!

Lady with really long name. Mayumi Asano. Mikki. Sumiko Nishioka.

Go! Nishioka is ahead. Wait. Mikki is. All at the log bridge thingy. Mikki is first through! And then Nishioka. Mikki is short and it works against her. Long name lady, Nishioka and Mikki are all at the swing thing!

But let's peruse some products via this machine called the television first.

My gosh, how many commercials is Kimura doing? Get off my TV!

If you love yourself, give yourself some coffee!

TYS! Challenging! Charming! Cheer!

Back.

At the log swing. Hula dancer is finally out. Nishioka is...through? She touched water. Mikki overshoots! Lots of time! Nishioka is through! OK. I found the hula dancer lady's blog too! And the lady with the long name is through!

I would throw a challenge flag on Nishioka touching the water but the show was filmed a while ago.

Let's look at who has cleared so far! No numbers so it's hard to figure out how many we've seen.

Group Fourteen!

Frisbee lady. buff lady. Chinese acrobat. Sara Jean Underwood (representing G4).

And Sara Jean does some training with Maho Tanaka!

Here we go! Everyone OK so far. Geez, how many times can he mention Playboy and Playmate? Cut to the final obstacle! Sara is through! Ultimate frisbee lady is out! Buff lady is out! Sara Jean is the last one standing!

Flag on the play! Maybe not.

It was hard

Group Fifteen!

Which one is Takeda cheering for? Three are through! It's a race to the top! Go bikini lady! I bet that's who he's cheering for. Muscle Musical lady and buff bikini lady are through! And that's it for Takeda's screen time! He wasn't cheering for bikini lady.

Susanne something something! She's an Olympic medalist! And wait...is the Lady Nagano going against her? Ouch. Let's re-air SASUKE footage and see Monster 9 INVADE FAMILY TIME!

Here we go! Wait. CMs first.

New Pachinko parlor opening soon! Be there or get a real job!

Ready!

Back.

Here we go. Everyone is through to the first part. Let's look at Nagano yell at his wife. Cut!

At the swing! Two are gone! Nagano could do it! First swing. NO! And yes! But she she has to hurry! Time is going red! NO! Time up! Hey! Shingo!

The baby is too young to understand MOM'S FAILURE.

Group Sixteen!

A field hockey lady is out! A kickboxer is out! A soccer player is out! A loser is you!

A young mother times out!

Rena Higashi! Where's mom? NO! There's mom.

Maho Tanaka! She's going against field hockey player Yuka Kato! And others!

Tanaka is rocking the neon jams today.

Kato is ahead. Tanaka is kind of stuck on the log thing. Whoa. Kato is almost finished and there's like a minute left. Tanaka needs to hurry. She's through! But she'll have to beat the other girl! Can she do it? NO!

Ouch.

She took too long on the log bridge thing.

Repechage time!

If all four have been eliminated, they have to go on a spinning platform in pairs and then reach the finish line. Only one gets through.

Itou Asako goes against the bench press lady. Hashimoto goes against the ballroom dancer. Twenty seconds of spinning.

And that's it! The ballroom dancer lady is through!

Next group!

Interviews that are actually Descente commercials. Catch them all!

Kagoshima and Edo on the red side. Nishi and Tokito on the other side. Here we go a-spinning. I think Kagoshima should have an advantage here but who knows. Stop! Kagoshima is ahead! Wait! Kagoshima and Nishi have both gotten the flag! And? What's the decision! Let's go to the booth! Wait! The instant replay shows that Kagoshima got it first!

Nagano gets another chance! She's paired with a cheerleader on the red side. The tall Olympian lady and the idol are on the other side. Here they go! The idol! Nagano! Nagano! Yes! The Olympian didn't even leave the platform. G-Cup idol Yazawa didn't stand a chance. I guess you have to try just in case the person falls.

Pro wrestler and Idoling's Sakai on the red side. Rola Chen and some other girl on the other side. Don't be polite! Sakai is through! I'd be pushing people out of the way but I am quite unsportsmanlike.

Oy. Satake and the gal with four kids on the blue side. Sakai and a volleyball on the red. Go! I bet the gal with four kids does it. Yes! She does.

Hey, Rena gets another chance.

Soccer player Onodera is through! As is a sports instructor. And another Idoling member.

Now it's Makoto Ogawa's group.

So if you're not famous and your group loses, you get more screen time!

Here they go! I could have caught the names but I'm lazy.

Ogawa is right off! But let's watch a commercial first. Or two.

Why are a bunch of underage comic strip characters selling cars?

People still care about Pokemon?

Back.

Ogawa is up! Whoops. Someone finally fell into the water. Not Ogawa though.

They should make the pathway thinner to make it harder. Or spin them around longer. I mean, I know someone has to win but whatever.

2nd Stage! Or Stage 2. Or 2nd Stage! Make up your minds!

A bunch of older obstacles are used here. They have three minutes and thirty seconds. That seems excessive to me. Makoto thinks that there's enough time for Asami to clear.

I can see a lot of people failing here.

Mika Kagoshima is up first! Jump. YES! NO! She was on then off. That freaks everyone out. Timing is important! No interview for her.

Gal with four kids is next! The kids are there. Not a good sign. And she doesn't have the timing! And hits the water!

Shiho Onodera is next! Yes! She's the first! Three logs. OK! Return of the course navigation graphic! Ball steps. NO! Her foot just caught the water. You are out! She tried to jump way too early.

Makoto Ogawa is up next! Here she goes. Jump. Yes! Commercials.

Back.

Ogawa is through! Three logs. Balls. Taking her time. NO! Took her time on the first step then rushed the second.

Erika Tomooka of Idoling is up next. Jump. Yes! Three logs. Balls. Yes! Platform walk. Halfway through. Slowly. Slowly. Almost there. Yes! Through! The number on her shirt is her Idoling number by the way. Barrel Roll. NO! Couldn't get it started.

Asami Nagano is next! Jump first. Yes! The Lady Nagano moves on. Three logs. Ball Steps. Slowly. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. One more and YES! She's through. Platform steps. Cut ahead! Almost there. Yes! Barrel Roll. Hey, Takuya Kawahara. CMs first.

Hey, Makoto. Unless you want your child to suffer permanent neck damage let's see some head support while you're watching your wife.

Back.

Here we go. NO! And that's it for Makoto Nagano's screen time! And Nagano laughs! And I heard Shingo laughing at her too!

Let's see some others fail.

Miki Hara is next! OUCH. She fell on the slide. Never seen that happen before.

Next is long name lady! Yes! Three logs. Balls. Yes! Platform coming up next. Slowly. NO! Yeah, once you start losing it there's no going back.

Let's see some more fail! Lots more fail!

Sumiko Nishioka is up next!

Stop! CM time!

Back.

Jump. NO! She slipped on the slide too! Ouch.

Saori Amano is up next! Jump. Yes! Almost didn't make it. Balls. No one has made it yet. Platform steps. Whoa! She just blows past them. Barrel Roll. Can she do it? NO! She started going backwards.

Yeah, don't wear white at SASUKE or KUNOICHI.

How many times can we hear Playboy or Playmate of the Year this time?

What was THAT interview all about?

Sara Jean Underwood! Here she goes. Jump. Yes! Three logs. Balls coming up. NO! She rushed it and hit the water. Too bad for YOU G4.

Shingo Yamamoto! His girl is still around! The Chickens are Revolting!

Sayaka Okamoto is next! Here we go. Jump. Yes! CMs.

I guess she gets his theme by default.

Back by the way.

Jump! Yes! Three logs. Balls coming up. Shingo shouts advice! She waves him off! Halfway there. Yes! Platforms. Shingo says go at your own pace! She's a bit busy right now Shingo. Through! Barrel Roll coming up. Looking good. Yes! Our first! Area Six! She has to walk across three poles of wood that get thinner. About a minute left though. Oh wait, the last one is pipe. Needs to hurry. NO! Shingo is upset! You're fired! Darn. She was so close.

Many have tried! None have passed!

Miku Asai is next! She's a wakeboarder. Jump. Yes! Cut ahead. Platform. Yes! Cut ahead. Barrel Roll. NO!

More fail.

You Nakao! She's in the Muscle Musical. Cut ahead to the Barrel Roll. Poles. Last one...NO! She does a full flip into the water!

Inoue is out too! Wow, is ANYONE going to make it?

Sachiyo Yamada! She plays lacrosse. Can she be the first? Jump. Yes! Three logs. Balls. Whoa! Losing it. She's OK! Back on track. Halfway there. May need to pick up the pace though. Platforms. Cut ahead. Halfway through. Almost there. Four more. Yes! Barrel Roll coming up. Yes! Can she do it? The first two poles have a rope in the middle. The last doesn't. Here she goes. Can she be the first? Yes! As the time goes red! She's our first!

One out of thirty!

Hey, in the back you can see a platform with the numbers one through ten. Will there even be that many?

Rie Komiya! She's next. She failed the Final Stage in the 5th KUNOICHI.

Jump. YES! Logs. Ball steps. She has her arms out. BECAUSE SHE HAS BALANCE! Whoa! Almost lost it. Back up. Back on track. Halfway though. Yes! Platform walk. Arms outstretched. May need to pick up the pace but I'm not the one doing it so your mileage may vary with that advice. Over halfway. Last three. Yes! Barrel Roll coming up. Bet she makes it to the Final. Barrel is no problem! First pole. Second pole. Third one. This is the killer. Needs to hurry though. Yes! With sixteen seconds left!

That's two!

Tomomi Arimatsu! She's next. Cut ahead. Yes! That's three. I think she's in the Muscle Musical too but I'll have to check.

Ayako Inada! She's definitely in the Muscle Musical. Jump. Logs. Balls. Yes! Platform coming up. Halfway through. Wait! She's doing the splits but there's no way she'll get back up. And there she goes. Mother said there'd be days like this. Good thing she wore the clean leotard.

Yuka Kato! She's a field hockey player. Cut ahead to the Platform. Last four steps. Yes! Barrel Roll. Slowly. Not getting a lot of speed. Almost there. Yes! Tonda! Poles coming up. About a minute left. One. Two. Three...thirty seconds left. Getting ready. Yes!

That's four!

Satomi Kadoi! She's next. Jump! Logs. We ain't cutting to a com...oh wait. Yes, we are.

Back.

Jump. Yes! Logs. Moving quickly. Balls. Yes! Platform. Halfway there. Whoa..slipped at the end. Through! Barrel Roll. Little too fast! But yes! Last part. Lots of time left. Almost two minutes. Last pole. Look at that electrical tape holding it together. It's high tech! Yes! She's through!

And...that's everyone! Only five are through!

Stage Three! Or the 3rd Stage! Only three make it through. The Flying Roll! It's a vault over a pole using a trampoline. Similar to what they did at the SASUKE 22 Trials. We go until there are three!

1m 60cm.

Sachiyo Yamada is through! Will this be a never-ending battle of Monster Box proportions?

Rie Komiya is next. No problem!

Yuka Kato, you're up! Yes!

Tomomi Arimatsu is up next. Yes! Geez, I hope SOMEONE is getting a profit off the music because they are using it a lot.

Satomi Kadoi is next. No problem!

1m 80cm.

Sachiyo Yamada..NO! But she has another chance. Two chances per height it appears.

Komiya is up next but let's have some beer...commercials that is.

Back.

Komiya at her first chance at 1m 80cm. Yes!

Yuka Kato's first try..NO!  She'll get another try.

Tomomi Arimatsu...Yes! No problem. Takai!

Satomi Kadoi..yep!

1m 80cm.

Wait. Those dreaded commercials strike again!

1m 80cm. Second try.

Sachiyo Yamada...NO! That's it for her! Thanks for playing!

That's one down.

I should point out that it's raining at this point.

Yuka Kato. So if she misses, then what? Wait. Here she goes. NO!!!!!!!!!

Just like the Monster Box, it comes down to technique.

And just like that! We have three in the Final Stage!

700 have tried!

Yuuko Mizuno! She's never done it! Ayako Miyake! She's done it three times! Maho Tanaka! She failed the 3rd Stage last time!

Let's take a break before they all attempt the Final Stage.

Back.

Final Stage!

Survival Climbing! Ladder into a rock climb thingy.

They have 60 seconds.

Let's go to the top!

There are three! And they are serious! They also work for Monster 9 but that's beside the point!

Rie Komiya is first.

Here she goes! She takes about ten seconds to get to the Climbing Wall. Slowing down now. She's halfway up. Lots of time. This is the trouble part, switching from wall to wall.

But we have time to fill! So let's cut to some commercials.

Let's relive her run at KUNOICHI 5 AGAIN. AND THEN START BACK AT THE BOTTOM!

Jeez.

Up the ladder. On the Climbing Wall now. Halfway up. Thirty seconds left. Needs to make the switch. Is she losing it? Twenty seconds. She's there! Go! Time is going red! Yes! With 3.7 seconds left!

Kanzenseiha! Not that this is an unusual thing at KUNOICHI but hey, new person!

And her Muscle Musical mates congratulate her!

Tomomi Arimatsu is up next! Does seeing someone doing it put more or less pressure on her?

Here she goes! Climb is slower than R...wait. Is that a commercial on the horizon?

Back!

Back at the beginning again. Pace is behind Komiya's. At the switch. This is the part that takes time. Needs to hurry. She's there! go! Hurry! Almost there! Time is going red! YES!!

5.9 seconds left!

That's two! Wait. A-HA. She touched the side of the board. NO COMPLETION FOR YOU. Course out!

No wonder they didn't acknowledge that she's a Muscle Musical member. She brings shame to the company!

Satomi Kadoi! She's our last and final challenger!

But let's get our last and final commercial!

Back.

Let's see if Kadoi can do it! She had the fastest time during the 2nd Stage.

Her hands are powdered up!

She FLIES up the ladder. Climbing Wall. At the switch. Can she do it? Yes! Lots of time! Wow. Almost there. Yes! With 21.4 seconds left. Yowza.

Kanzenseiha!

She gets the final interview since she, in the words of the kids "pwned" that stage. But hey, don't forget Rie.

That was different! The format may need some tweaking though. It looked like they were planning on more people reaching the 3rd Stage so they had to drag out the Final Stage. It was an interesting (for me anyway) mix of practically every type of Monster 9 programming you could think of. There was a SASUKE Trial like 1st Stage. A typical 2nd and Final but they were broken up by a Sportsman No.1 like 3rd Stage. Some may not like the head to head competition but the show had been off for two years and this is kind of a re-boot. And since the ratings were not so hot to begin with, it makes sense that they wanted to shake things up.

However, the course was a bit too easy for the Muscle Musical people. Every Muscle Musical member made it to the 2nd Stage and three made it to the Final Stage. And yes, Arimatsu is a Muscle Musical member, despite them not acknowledging her as such.

The ratings will tell if this was a successful re-boot or not. Let's hope they were good, not so much for the change in format (purists will probably dislike it), but because KUNOICHI being successful can be good for SASUKE and Sportsman No. 1. Bring back Geinojin Sportsman dammit!

KUNOICHI 209 The Sort of Live Blog!

Oh for the love of...

There are links pointing here already but go here instead.

209. Jeez.

Free Tomomi Arimatsu!

Possible KUNOICHI 8 Airdate!

Yikes, looks like I was way off.

According to blogger goldtaro2004-o- who is apparently going to be competing in KUNOICHI which will be *shhh* sometime this week...eh, screw it, blogger robthomas722 (who gave us some super secret secret squirrel photos of 22 last time - they work with Monster 9/TBS I guess) lets us know about the waterproof bus prepared for tomorrow's (9/2) KUNOICHI (クノイチ) taping here.

Anyway, according to this:
「ＫＵＮＯＩＣＨＩ　２００９」

ＴＶの放映予定は　１０月７日（水）１９：５５～２２：５４（変更の可能性あり）

So KUNOICHI won't be airing until October 7th, after SASUKE 23.

I apologize if I led any of you to believe that KUNOICHI would be in September.

Major announcement about new attraction at Muscle Park!

Odaiba - Muscle Park and Monster 9 have announced plans to open a new section starting April 1, 2010 focused around one of their biggest stars, Katsumi Yamada, known to fans as Mr. SASUKE.

"We're proud to unveil the newest addition to Muscle Park, MR. SASUKE PARK!" said Monster 9 president Ushio Higuchi to a crowd of senior citizens and small children in the food court of the Odaiba complex Muscle Park is located in.

When asked by a passerby what in the world he was talking about, Higuchi explained: "My staff, which includes me, my cat Cliffy and my dog Ropesy have been feverishly designing a way for fans of SASUKE to get the full Mr. SASUKE experience!" He then began showing a possibly comatose old woman scribblings made on a napkin.

Included were designs for a dirty pool of water for Park guests to fall into, a small table with a cutting board, onions and a kitchen knife all situated in front of a microphone and camera to serve as a Mr. SASUKE interview simulator as well as photo galleries, one about SASUKE and one about Yamada's various part-time jobs.

Artist's interpretation of Mr. SASUKE Park photo galleries





Also to be included are guessing games based on things like how many part-time jobs Yamada has held over the years. "I almost had all 732 but then I missed those months he spent cleaning monkey cages and something about 'pole-dancing' that I'm kind of glad to not know about," stated one Monster 9 staff.

Winners of games will receive cases of SASUKE Spray and a new product especially made for Mr. SASUKE Park, SASUKE Brand Tissues.



When asked about the new attraction, Yamada seemed enthusiastic, asking "Do you think I could get a job there?"

Barack Obama: Ninja Warrior!

And now...


President Barack Hussein Obama!^*




Yes, we can!


Yes, we can!


Yes, we can!


Yes, we can!


Yes, we can!


Yes, we can!


Yes, we ca...uhh...


No, we can't?


^*Or Japanese comedian Nocchi (who has been, I'd like to note to non-Japanese TV watchers, doing this schtick for months so it was absolutely no surprise to anyone in the Japanese audience).




If you think there is some kind of political message here or to be had, you are a moron. Oh, and I can't believe I didn't make an economy joke during the liveblog.

SASUKE 22 is coming soon! SASUKE 2009春!

While arsenette over at Rambling Rican has been all over the SASUKE 22 information I figured I should get a post up just to remind those who don't venture outside my blog for SASUKE stuff (whoever that might be).

The dirt:

Airing info-

SASUKE 2009春 will be aired on TBS (and it's affiliates) from 20:00 to 23:24 JST on Monday, March 30th, 2009. There will be a short preview (probably only five minutes long, not the full ten minutes - they need time for commercials) for those in the central Japan area at 19:50.

There is also a SASUKEナビ (SASUKE Navi) on Sunday, March 29th from 14:00 to 15:00 JST. Again, this will only be available to select areas in Japan (boo!).

The participants:

The All-Stars

We'll just assume that -

山田勝己 Yamada Katsumi ("Mr. Somethingorother")
山本進悟 Yamamoto Shingo
秋山和彦 Akiyama Kazuhiko
竹田敏浩 Takeda Toshihiro
長野誠 Nagano Makoto
白鳥文平 Shiratori Bunpei

will be there. Well, actually, we know that Takeda, Akiyama and Nagano were there. If that's a recent picture on Hiromichi Sato's site. Well, Takeda and Akiyama for sure.

More comedians than you can shake a stick at

Yikes. There are A LOT of comedians participating this year. And, this may be good or bad, but many of them are more established comedians, rather than the up-and-comers that sometimes appear. Good in that it brings more star power. Bad in that it might be a sign that TBS has to resort to variety programming stunt casting to get more viewers. Anyway, a list (and where we got the info!):

Nochi of Dangerous デンジャラス　ノッチ says so here. He's best known as the guy who does the Barack Obama impersonation on Japanese TV.
Cherry Pie チェリー☆パイ was there. Via their photo we know that...
Hori ホリ was there. Well, his company profile says so too. He wasn't the only ものまね specialist on the scene as...
山本高広 Yamamoto Takahiro (best known for his Oda Yuuji impersonation) was there too. But wait! Neither his blog nor his profile says he was there. But what about photographic evidence? Because Iketani Naoki has this and Yamamoto's blog has this. And since we know that Kane Kosugi is in Yamamoto's repertoire, well, that's good enough for me. Watanabe Entertainment also has...
ザブングル (Zabunguru - although I'm not sure how their name romanizes) - was there too.
Chiro of Bicsmalln ビックスモールン・チロ was there.
Kasuga Toshiaki of Audrey 春日俊彰 オードリー was there.
Wakky of Penalty ワッキー ペナルティ was there.
Kojima Yoshio 小島よしお was there too. Or at least that's what OnTV Japan says.

And I think that's everyone. That I could find and confirm somehow anyway.

Muscle Musical

And what's a Monster 9 show going to be without any synergy? We know that the following were there (so far):
Naoki Iketani 池谷直樹
Setoda Eiji 脊戸田英次
Nakao You 中尾葉
Inada Ayako 稲田亜矢子

I'm sure they'll be more.

Athletes

Kind of a difficult time since baseball and basketball are still going on so that lessens the pool. But...

Kazuhisa Watanabe 渡辺一久, K-1 fighter was there.
Takeyoshi Tominaga 富永健義 was there too.
Mohammed Yone モハメド ヨネ、
Suzuki Kotaro 鈴木鼓太郎 and
Ishimori Taiji 石森太二 of Pro Wrestling NOAH were all there.
Miyazaki Daisuke 宮崎大輔 and his men of balls,
Iwanaga Sho 岩永生 and
Izuma Masakatsu 猪妻正活 were there.
Paul ANTHONY Terek was there via photo evidence.
Junichi Miyashita 宮下純一, Beijing Olympic Bronze medal winning swimmer was there.
EDIT! Rugby player Tomoki Kitagawa 北川智規 will be there as well. He placed 4th in the 2009 Sportsman No. 1.

Celebs and others

Nakao Akiyoshi 中尾明慶 of TBS show ROOKIES was there. (synergy!)
Issei Sakamoto 坂本一生, a talento was there.
Ishimaru Kenjiro 石丸謙二郎 and
Sato Hiromichi 佐藤弘道 (via link above)
Nomura Masaki 野村将希
Shirai Ryo 白井涼
Lee Yen Chi リー・エンチ of Taiwan
Takahashi Kenji 高橋賢次 via photo evidence.
This guy.

Those darn Americans

Via G4:
Olivia Munn
Luci Romberg
Levi Meeuwenberg (White SASUKE Jesus - as opposed to SASUKE Jesus, Makoto Nagano)
David Campbell (this year's G4 ANC winner)

There were also six SASUKE Trial Qualifiers (STQers) and some other people most of it was found via mixi so I'd rather not say more.

To tell the truth, this year was much easier to find info since so many celebrity blogs have popped up since last time. And it's not like twitter where people may be making fake accounts. Japanese celebs are very self-promotional and very..um..Japanese blogger like, taking photos of food and themselves constantly.

That's pretty much it. I'll probably be liveblogging the SASUKE Navi and of course the main show itself. If only the show had stuck to it's usual Wednesday time so that I could do an April Fool's and say that I wasn't going to do it. That would so disappoint, oh, five people or so.

Oh and don't forget. The TBS site promises the coming of a new hero or some such nonsense.




Man, I think I'm out of liveblogger shape. This might be painful.

The Gift V and Epilogue

*Ring*

Hello?

Double T!

Oh. Hey Katsumi.

Man, it's been a while! I knew you changed your phone number and I thought you gave me your new one and I guess it must have fallen out of my pocket or something.

Yeah. Um..you must have lost it.

Yeah! So it's a good thing I took a look at your phone while you were doing the First Stage on Monday!

You what?

Yeah! Anyway, wasn't it great how ******* was able to ****** the ******?

Yeah, that was pretty cool.

And you! You were able to ****** the ******!

Thanks.

But I have to ask, did you run out of spray?

What?

Like, I sent you a box in the winter! But you had to borrow some on Monday. So I thought you must have run out. So I sent you two more boxes when I got home!

Really? Umm..thanks.

You know, I bet you totally could use this stuff while you're working.

While I'm working? Um..Katsumi, I'm a fireman. I don't think a spray can is something I can use when I'm fighting fires.

Naw! I'm sure you can! I've got a fire going right here. Let me just spray so...

KATSUMI! NO!

*FWOOSH!!!!*

Katsumi!!!

...

Katsumi?!?! Are you OK?

Mr. Takeda?

Yes?


My daddy has to call you back. He set the house on fire...again.

Um..OK.








*Ring*

Hi! I'm not here right now! Those hot dogs won't sell themselves you know! Leave a message!

*Beep*

Oh, hey, Katsumi, this is Shinji. Shinji Kobayashi. I wanted to say thank you for the double pack of SASUKE Spray you sent me the other day. And also sorry that your house burned down...again. Anyway, I was just wondering..you know the Monster 9 guys right? You're pretty tight with them so I thought maybe for this next show I was wondering if you could do me a favor and ask them to not cu..

*Beep*







You didn't think I forgot about Takeda, did you?